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"Ohh, my! Never have I been through such a lion fight!" - Eddie Laughton (IN THE SWEET PIE AND PIE, 1941)

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Average Rating:     [7.08/10]   22 votes

SOUP TO NUTS

Ted is a salesman for the Schmidt Costume Shop who likes to hang out at the fire station where Moe, Larry and Shemp, along with Freddie Sanborn work. Old man Schmidt is bankrupt and is taken over by his creditors, who send a young man named Carlson to manage his business. Carlson falls for Mr. Schmidt's niece Louise, but she resists him. Ted swings a deal with the Fire Department to supply costumes for the Firemen's Ball. Carlson wants to escort Louise to the ball, so Ted hatches a plan to take Louise, have himself and Carlson dress alike, and then switch places at the party.



Character actor and Spike Jones Orchestra comic Billy Barty plays 'Junior.'

The real-life wives of the Stooges do not appear in this film, though the Stooges address their on-screen 'wives' with the same names as their real wives. The rumor that their real-life wives appear in the film is probably because of the on location pictures with the Stooges, Mabel, Babe, and Helen that appear in several books. The rumor may have also been started from incorrect information in one of those books. A picture of the Stooges and their on-screen "wives" appears in the book The Three Stooges - The Triumphs and Tragedies of The Most Popular Comedy Team of All Time by Jeff Forrester and Tom Forrester.

IMDb Rating

SOUP TO NUTS on IMDb

Featuring
Ted Healy and His Stooges
Release Date
September 28, 1930
Studio
Fox Film Corporation
Production Type
Feature Film
Duration
71.5 min.
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Cast Members   Production Crew

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Production Notes   (2)
Prod. No.:   33
Shooting Days:   24 days   From: 1930-07-14   To: 1930-08-09

Stooge Mayhem   (Avg. 0.00)

Stooge Mayhem is not available for this episode.


Stooge Quotes   (2)
  • "What is this you're doing?" "The elevator dance." "Elevator dance?" "Yeah, there's no steps to it."
    (Larry & Ted)

  • "Yeah, it was so hot last night, I had to get up and take off my socks."
    (Shemp)


Stooge Goofs   (1)
  • Window or Mirror?
    When Ted and the Stooges leave after breaking the window of a tailor shop, the stuttering tailor yells â€Å"You have to buy me a new mirror!” Shouldn't he have said â€Å"window”, not mirror?


Stooge Routines   (5)
  • Back and forth slap-match
    Moe and another Stooge slap each other back and forth several times. Then Moe turns to the last Stooge who's just watching, and slaps him.
    Also used in:  HOI POLLOI  ·   CRASH GOES THE HASH  ·   CUCKOO ON A CHOO CHOO  ·   FOR CRIMIN' OUT LOUD  ·  

  • Heads or tails
    To decide which one of the Stooges has to do a hard task, the Stooges all flip a coin and decide that the odd man loses. When they're done, the third Stooge opens his hand, shows his coin, and says that he has "Tails". The other two lie and say they have "Heads" while still covering their coins, leaving the third Stooge as the odd man out.
    Also used in:  RESTLESS KNIGHTS  ·  

  • Needle Points Halfway, The
    This Stooge routine involves a Stooge (usually Moe) wondering how much gas they have left in the vehicle tank. Another Stooge then quips, "The needle is pointing halfway. I don't know if it's half-empty or half-full".
    Also used in:  FALSE ALARMS  ·   DIZZY PILOTS  ·   THE THREE STOOGES IN ORBIT  ·   THE NEW 3 STOOGES  ·   KOOK'S TOUR

  • You wanna make a fool outta the doctor?!
    When a Stooge falls down unconscious, a doctor comes up, puts his head to the Stooge's chest, and concludes that the Stooge is dead. That Stooge then immediately "comes back to life", followed by Moe yelling to him "Lay down! You wanna make a fool outta the doctor?!"
    Also used in:  FRIGHT NIGHT  ·  

  • You'll never know...
    The Stooges break out singing "You'll never know, just what tears are..."
    Also used in:  HORSES' COLLARS  ·   HALF SHOT SHOOTERS  ·   A DUCKING THEY DID GO  ·   BEER AND PRETZELS  ·   DANCING LADY  ·   FUGITIVE LOVERS


Stooge Trivia   (0)

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Transcript   (Y)

Transcription by Moron4392:  

Would like to add this additional note: (In this feature, "Soup To Nuts", Moe was credited and used his second name which is "Harry."

The Feature Opens With This Quote By "Rube Goldberg:"

"There can never be harmony in the home while people loudly gurlge their soup."

"There can never be peace in matrimony while wives throw broken nutshells on the floor for their husbands to step on with their bare feet."

"Somewhere between the soup and the nuts .... perhaps in the fish or the applesauce .... there must be joy and contentment."

The feature opens with an outside shot of the fire barn. With pedestrians walking by and two fire engines in the garage.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP, HARRY, AND LARRY:

They are dressed in their firemans uniforms, sitting at a table with happy and contented looks on their faces and their feet propped up on the table top.

Shemp has a telephone in his hand and he is getting ready to answer it.

SHEMP to HARRY and LARRY: (Just before he answers the telephone with a look of dismay on his face). "It's getting so a guy can't sing!"

SHEMP to the TELEPHONE: (As he is shouting into it with disgust in his voice). "Hello, who? Hey, Ted?"

Shemp, Harry, and Larry are looking at the firemans pole.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE FIREMANS POLE:

Shemp still has the telephone receiver at his ear while he shouts up the firemans pole (with Larry and Harry watching).

SHEMP to TED: (Shouting at the pole loudly). "Hey, Ted?"

TED to SHEMP: (Ted is off camera and shouting back at Shemp with madness in his voice in reference to the telephone call). "All right, comin' right down!"

Ted is now coming down the pole sitting at a table playing checkers with another fireman. Ted is happily singing La-De-Da, La-De-Da, La-De-Da, La-De-Da.

Shemp is again shouting to Ted as he is coming down the pole still singing happily, La-De-Da, La-De-Da, La-De-Da, La-De-Da, with a look of glee on his face still playing checkers.

SHEMP to TED: (With a look of wonderment on his face and question in his voice as his signals with his had to Ted about the telephone). "You're wanted on the phone."

Ted then gives Shemp a quick glance as he resumes coming down the pole, singing happily and playing checkers.

TED to SHEMP: (With a look of dismay on his face and waves his hand at Shemp, as Shemp once again yells that he is wanted on the telephone). "All right, all right, all right, all right!"

Ted is still sitting there playing checkers, singing in a gleeful voice La-De-Da, La-De-Da, La-De-Da, La-De-Da. He has his hands crossed in front of him. He then makes a move that he is happy with, points at his move gleefully to the other fireman and says, 'Ha-ha, hee-hee.' The other fireman, slightly leaning forward, jumps the checker that Ted just had moved.

TED to the OTHER FIREMAN: (Whe he realized his move was not a good one, and with a look of question on his face and wonderment in his voice. Laughing slightly and waving his hand says). "I didn't see that, that was a good one, I didn't see that at all, I just could of as well moved over there."

The Little Fireman is now approaching Ted and taps him on the shoulder. Ted then turns around and gives him a look of madness. The Little Fireman with a look of happiness on his face as he is pointing to the checkers gam says to Ted with a look of glee on his face.

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (Raising his eyebrows and a look of glee on his face whispers to Ted). "I see a move right over there."

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (With question on his face as he point to a checker and says). "That one?"

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (With a look of disagreement on his face shakes his head in). "No!"

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (As he points to another checker and looks at him in question asks). "That one?"

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (Raising his eyebrows and clapping his hands and has a look of glee on his face says). "Yes!"

Ted then follows the Little Firemans advice and makes that move, which turns out to be a very bad move. It caused the other fireman to make a five jump move causing his to win the game.

After the game ended. The Little Fireman still standing by Ted has a look of wonderment on his face, and Ted has a look of dismay on his face. The other fireman is grining ear to ear with his victory.

TED to the OTHER FIREMAN: (Laughing and pointing his finger at the game says). "Ha-ha, that was good, ha-ha sorry."

Ted is now standing up and leaving the checkers game with the other fireman still sitting there and the Little Fireman at Ted's side with an apologetic look on his face.

As Ted is standing up, thoroughly mad at the Little Fireman for telling him the wrong move, shoves him backwards by the face causing him to fall into a wall. Ted then walks over to a drinking fountain and takes a drink. The Little Fireman is getting up with a hurt look on his face and is rubbing it. The other checkers partner fireman is still sitting there in glee at the table enjoying his win.

SHEMP to TED: (Yelling at him and still holding the telephone). "Hey, ain't you gonna answer that phone?"

Ted is looking at Shemp (off camera), with a look of dismay on his face as he is approaching the telephone.

TED to SHEMP: (As Shemp is still yelling at him and a mad look on his face about answering the telephone). "All right, all right!"

Ted is now approaching the table and is sitting down, getting ready to answer the telephone while Harry, Shemp, and Larry are sitting contently at the table still with ther feet propped up.

SHEMP to TED: (With a look of mischief on his face, refering to Ted's girlfriend). "I think it's that loud speaker again!"

Ted is now taking the telephone from Shemp.

TED to SHEMP: (As he is sitting down to answer the telephone, with a mad look on his face, says in reference to what Shemp said about his girlfrien). "Don't say that!"

Ted is now answering the telephone and finds out it is his girlfriend Qeenie.

TED to QUEENIE: (His girlfriend, with happiness in his voice and a look of glee on his face). "Hello, hello, hello, how are you Queenie?"

QUEENIE to TED: (Yelling at him at the top of her lungs and madness on her face). "Oh, is that you Ted? Listen, palooka, you outta be ashamed of yourself. Taking money for working at "Schmidt's Costume Shoppe", and hanging out at the firehouse all day long, you big donkey, you!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED AT THE FIRE BARN:

TED to QUEENIE: (Yelling at her and dismay on his face). "Don't call me a donkey, you big ox."

Ted then puts his hand over the telephone so she cannot hear him.

TED to SHEMP, HARRY, and LARRY: (With a look of happiness on his face and waving his hands says). "It's the girlfriend, a lady of very few words."

Harry, Shemp, and Larry are still sitting at the table, in a total state of contentment and their feet propped up on a lower board underneath the table.

THE STOOGES to TED: (In their small part about Ted's telephone conversation with Queenie in happy voices).
SHEMP: "Say hello for me."
HARRY: "Give her my regards."
LARRY: "Me too!"

Ted is now resuming his telephone conversation with Queenie.

TED to QUEENIE: "The boys say hello!"

QUEENIE to TED: (Chewing on a stick of gum and still yelling and with dismay on her face says). "Oh, yeah, those three mugs are the scum of the earth!"

Ted is now again covering the telephone and is looking at Harry, Shemp, and Larry with wonderment.

TED to THE STOOGES: (With a happy look on his face and waving his hands says). "She speaks highly of you boys."

Larry, Shemp, and Harry are sitting there with happy and proud looks on their faces.

SHEMP to TED: (Smiling happily about his telephone conversation with Queenie). "She always did like us."

TED to HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (Smiling proudly and supporting a glad look on his face). "Yeah, she likes ya. Someday she'll make a great little wife for me."

TED to QUEENIE: (With a look of madness on his face and shouting at her). "Shut up, you pest, you're breaking my eardrums."

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE:

She is sitting at the receptionist desk of "Schmidt's Costume Shopp." She has her hand over the telephone and has a happy look on her face and is talking to a very irate customer, (D. Quincy Throckmorton), who has been patiently waiting for service at the costume shoppe.

QUEENIE to the CUSTOMER: (Winking at him and still chewing her gum and smiling says happily). "I'm talking to Ted, my boyfriend, he's a darling, I'm crazy about him!"

QUEENIE to TED: (Yelling at him at the top of her lungs). "I'll break your head when you get over here!"

Ted is still on the telephone listening to Queenie. Harry, Shemp, and Larry are still sitting at the table with Ted giving glances of wonderment at Ted and the telephone conversation with Queenie.

SHEMP, to HARRY, and LARRY: (With a look of glee on his face). "Say boys, let's rehearse that number for the firemans ball, come on, let's try it again."

SHEMP to LARRY: (With a mischievous look on his face says). "Sound your A."

Larry tries to sing but is pitiful off key.

HARRY to LARRY: (With a look of question on his face says to Larry). "Give it to me again!"

Larry then tries to sound his "A" again but is still off key.

SHEMP to LARRY: (With a dumbfounded look on his face and waving his hand says). "That's near enough!"

THE STOOGES ARE NOW REHEARSING THEIR SONG: "YOU'LL NEVER KNOW:"

They are still sitting at the table with looks of joy and contentment on their faces as they close their eyes in relaxation as they start to sing.

"You'll never know, just what tears are. Till you cried like you made me cry. How a broken heart aches, though it's broken in fun. You'll never know, till you've met the wrong one. To love and kiss, and lose it all. And to find every promise a lie. You ---- You'll never know just what tears are, till you've cried, like you've made me cry!"

ALL THE WHILE THE STOOGES ARE SINGING TED IS STILL TRYING TO HOLD A TELEPHONE CONVERSATION WITH QUEENIE:

TED to THE SINGING STOOGES: (Yelling at them to shut up). "Hey fellas, I can't hear a thing. Wait, will ya? Listen, I can't hear, listen, I can't hear. Will you please shut up, I can't hear a thing."

Ted tries to return to the telephone with Queenie on the other end.

TED to QUEENIE: (Shouting at her). "I can't hear with them singing!"

TED to THE SINGING STOOGES: (With a mad look on his face and yelling at them). "Fellas, will you wait a minute please?"

LITTLE FIREMAN'S SUGGESTION ON HOW TO SHUT UP THE STOOGES SO TED CAN HOLD HIS TELEPHONE CONVERSATION WITH QUEENIE:

The Stooges are sitting at the table in total contentment and enjoying their song. The Little Fireman then approaches Ted who still is on the telephone.
LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (With a happy look on his face and waves his eyebrows as he points to a weight bag set above them says). "I'll pull the string and on of the bags will come down!"

Ted then puts down the telephone receiver and looks at the Little Fireman and motions with his finger at what the Little Fireman suggested and shook his head in agreement.

TED to THE LITTLE FIREMAN: (Points at the weight bags and says with glee on his face). "Yes!"

The Little Fireman then goes over and pulls a rope that is connected to one of the weight bags as Ted is looking up at it.

TED to THE LITTLE FIREMAN: (With glee in his eyes and mischief on his face as he waves his hand at the Little Fireman). "Okay!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE LITTLE FIREMAN:

The Little Fireman with a look of mischief on his face and goes over and pulls on a rope that is connected to one of the weight bags, it comes crashing down, and is suppose to hit "The Singing Stooges." It misses them and lands on the table top.

The Little Fireman is sitting on a chair with a look of madness on his face and the weight bag missing "The Singing Stooges."

TED to THE LITTLE FIREMAN: (With wonderment in his eyes and a perplexed look on his face says). "Come here, come here!"

The Little Fireman gets out of his chair and happily walks over to Ted.

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (As he points to another weight bag and has a suggestive look on his face says as he points to another weight bag). "Why don't you bring them under the weight bags and I'll pull the rope and it will hit them."

Ted then agrees happily with the Little Fireman at his suggestion.

Ted the grabs the happily singing Shemp with his eyes closed and a contented look on his face enjoying the song, Shemp who in return brings with him Harry who brings with him Larry. The Stooges are still standing their really wrapped in their song and have no recollection at all what is about to take place walk under the weight bags.

TED to THE LITTLE FIREMAN: (With happiness on his face as he points to the weight bags). "All right!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE LITTLE FIREMAN:

The Little Fireman with glee in his eyes and mischief on his face once again happily pulls a rope that is connected to the weight bags. Again another weight bag comes crashing down to hit "The Singing Stooges", but once again it misses its mark and comes crashing onto the floor just in front of them.

When this weight bag has misses "The Singing Stooges" Ted now has look on his face of what to do next.

TED to THE LITTLE FIREMAN: (As he has thought of his suggestion and is totally happy with his idea says). "Come here a minute will you please, Deke!"

The Little Fireman once again gets up from his chair and happy walks over to Ted and raises his eyebrows and looks at Ted happily.

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (With one last feeble suggestion as he has a look of mischief on his face suggests). "Why don't you back them up more under the weight bags!"

Ted then really happy and has a look of glee in his eyes waves his hands at the Little Fireman in total agreement.

Once again, "The Singing Stooges" who are still standing there with their eyes closed, in a total state of contentment, still not knowing what is happening around them. Ted then pushes back "The Singing Stooges", and lower their heads to get them centred under the weight bags.

Ted then waves his hand at the Little Fireman in agreement and signals him to go on. Ted the puts his hands over his ears as he signals the Little Fireman to pull the rope.

The Little Fireman is now once again sitting in his chair. With glee in his eyes and mischief on his face and raising his eyebrows in mischief. He pulls the rope on the last weight bag that was suppose to hit "The Singing Stooges", but instead it hits the Little Fireman right on his head which causes him to fall off his chair backwards.

After The Stooges were done singing, they were mumbling to one another in total agreement about how their song turned out. All the while, The Stooges had no recollection at all that Ted and the Little Fireman were trying to hit them with weight bags.

TED to THE LITTLE FIREMAN: (Laughing and waving his hands in funess says). "Oh, you got it, how'd ya like it?"

Ted then turns around and is looking at "The Singing Stooges". Noticing that The Stooges had no idea at all what was going on.

TED to HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (With a look of wonderment in his eyes and on his face). "How'd you like it, he got it instead of ----?"

SHEMP to TED: (With worry on his face and in his eyes and trying to figure out what Ted was talking about says). "All right?"

All the while that Ted and the Little Fireman were trying to hit "The Singing Stooges" with the weight bags. The Stooges were so happily and contently enjoying their song they had no idea of what was going on.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE:

She is still sitting at the receptionist desk of "Schmidt's Costume Shoppe". The poor, patient Mr. D. Quincy Throckmorton is looking in a hand held mirror adjusting his glasses in a state of boredom.

The whole time that Ted and the Little Fireman were trying to hit Harry, Shemp, and Larry with the weight bags she was on the telephone yelling at Ted with no recollection at al at what just took place.

QUEENIE to TED: (Still on the telephone, chewing her gum, mischief on her face and shouting at Ted). "I'm sick and tired, and I'm fed up with it ...."

TED to LARRY, SHEMP, and HARRY: Raising his hands and has a look of dismay on his face as he goes back to the telephone). "Oh, I forgot Queenie!"

Ted then returns back and sits down at the table and picks up the telephone while Harry, Shemp, and Larry also sit back down, they are leaning slightly forward and looking a Ted.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE:

QUEENIE to TED: (Still chawing on her gum and has pure mischief on her face and she is yelling at Ted). "So, if you're gonna hang around the firehouse, instead of being with me, i'll make it hot for you. There's nothing you can say worth listening to. I can, hun? I'll show you where the right cans are. You don't know how to treat a lady you big bozo!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED:

TED to QUEENIE: (With a bit of madness on his face and a hint of madness in his voice and waving his hands and is yelling at her). "Now, listen baby, hey, you can't talk to me like that, we're not married yet!"

Queenie is now so mad at Ted that she sets the telephone receiver on fire. Ted then puts the hot receiver down on the table and reaches into his pocket and gets out a cigarette and lights it from the burning telephone.

TED to HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (Shaking his hand like they are hot and with a look of wonderment on his face says in general discussion). "Woo, is she burning up! Lookie here!"

Ted then sets down the 'burning telephone receiver.'

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON "THE BURNING TELEPHONE:"

TED to LARRY, SHEMP, and HARRY: (With worry on his face and in his eyes and waving his hands at the telephone like putting out a fire). "We gotta get over to Queenie's fast, I'm afraid this is a special alarm! Come on boys!"

Ted, Harry, Shemp, and Larry are getting up from their table and are rushing over to one of the fire trucks and are going over to "Schmidt's Costume Shoppe" in a hurry to see Queenie and try to shut her up.

HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY to TED: (As they point their fingers in the air in agreement with Ted says). "Right, I'm with you, let's get out of here, let's go over there!"

Ted and The Stooges are now on their fire truck and are rushing over to see Queenie. The Little Fireman is following behind on foot, after he has locked the fire barn with a giant lock.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED AND THE STOOGES:

HARRY to TED: (Shemp is standing in front of Ted and Larry is behind Harry all with blank looks on their faces says in general discussion as they are on the fire truck). "Hey, this is the hottest June we've had since last July."

TED to HARRY: (With a look of worry on his face and wiping some sweat off of his forehead says). "You're telling me, I know it's hot!"

SHEMP to TED, LARRY, and HARRY: (In general discussion, slightly laughing and a mischief look on his face). Yeah, it was so hot last night, I had to get up and take off my socks."

TED to SHEMP: (With Larry and Harry behind him with a mischief look on his face as he taps Shemp on the shoulder laughing). "Ah, cut it out!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE FIRE TRUCK:

It is speeding down the road with pedestrians on both sides of the street watching it go by.

As they are speeding to get to "Schmidt's Costume Shoppe" to see Queenie. Queenie is still on the telephone yelling at who she thinks is Ted but is nothing but an empty telephone.

QUEENIE to the TELEPHONE: (Still chewing her gum, look of mischief on her face and yelling loudly). "If you think you're gonna get away with this you're crazy, yeah, who do you think you are anyway?"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE COSTUME SHOPPE AND TED AND THE STOOGES:

The fire truck comes to a screeching hault. Ted is standing up and Shemp, Harry, and Larry loose their balance and Ted is grabbing them to help them up.

TED to SHEMP, HARRY, and LARRY: (Shouting in general discussion and with worry on his face and in his eyes asks). "Okay, is everything under control? Come on, stand up, stand up."

SHEMP to TED: (With mischief in his eyes and on his face is slightly laughing says as they are straightening up their hats). "Yeah!"

TED, to SHEMP, HARRY, and LARRY: (With a look of wonderment on his face and question in his eyes as he points down the street). "Look!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SOME PEDESTRIANS:

The Little Fireman is running down the street joyfully and with a happy look on his face and is holding onto his hat. He is catching up to Ted and The Stooges as they are approaching "Schmidt's Costume Shoppe."

As the Little Fireman reaches the fire truck with Ted, Harry, Shemp, and Larry totally tired out and raising his eyebrows in happiness as he is getting laughed at by Ted and The Stooges.

TED to HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (About the Little Fireman always catching up and in determination wanting to be part of their team, laughs in general discussion). "Ha, ha, maybe, I'm wrong!"

Harry, Shemp, and Larry are still on the fire truck and Ted is walking over to "Schmidt's Costume Shoppe" to see Queenie.

SHEMP to PETE THE DRIVER: (Shouts in general discussion as he points his finger upwards towards the sky says). "Onward, boys!"

The fire truck takes off with Harry, Shemp, and Larry falling down and the Little Fireman is trying to get on board but once again he unsuccessfully makes it and falls onto the street.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE:

She is still chewing her gum, with mischief on her face and in her eyes, shouting at the empty telephone, who she thinks is Ted.

QUEENIE to TED?: "And furthermore, you mug, as far as I am concerned, I don't care if I never see you again, do you understand?, Good-bye!"

Just after Queenie hangs up the telephone, Ted enters the shoppe. While the poor, patient Mr. D. Quincy Throckmorton who waited through all the telephone shannigans starts to leave but returns when Ted enters in.

TED to QUEENIE: (Holding his hat, smiling and with glee in his eyes, states as he waves his hands). "Hello!"

QUEENIE to TED: (Sitting in her chair at the receptionist desk with her hands on her waist, madness in her eyes and on her face, still chewing her gum, shouts). "So, I've been talking to myself, why you great big ----, Oh, I want you to meet Mr. Throckmorton, he's an aviator". (refering to the customer who waited throught the entire telephone tit-for-tat).

Ted has a perplexed look on his face and madness in his voice as he is holding his hat shouts to Queenie.

TED to QUEENIE: (In a thorough state of madness). "And you called out the fire department to tell me taht?" What did you say his name was?"

CUSTOMER to TED: (As he tips his hat at Ted and has sound of pride in his voice). "Throckmorton, The Quincy Throckmorton."

TED to MR. THROCKMORTON: (With his hands on his waist and determined look on his face and smiling and slightly laughing). "But what's the name in the old country?"

MR. THROCKMORTON to TED: (In pride and with Queenie sitting at her desk listening). "Why, I was born here!"

TED to MR. THROCKMORTON: (Supporting a blank look on his face and mischief in his voice and smiling says). "Oh, one of the old Gashouse Throckmortons?"

Ted the with a happy look on his face, pats him on the shoulder and shakes his hand in friendship.

QUEENIE to TED: (Shouting, and look at him longinly says). "Oh, I forgot to tell you Mr. Schmidt wants to see you right away!"

TED to QUEENIE: (Bending down to her and patting her on the back whispers). "Get him out of here as soon as possible."

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MR. THROCKMORTON:

He is still standing by the front desk holding onto his cane. The Little Fireman is now entering the shoppe.

As Ted is going to see Mr. Schmidt, the Little Fireman approaches Ted and reaches into his uniform suit jacket to remove a piece of paper.

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (With a look of happiness on his face and smiling and raising his eyebrows in glee says). "I've got something very important that I want to show you!"

Ted then pushes the paper back into the Little Firemans uniform, pats him on the shoulder while the two of them have worried looks on their faces.

TED to THE LITTLE FIREMAN: (With a scared look on his face and question in his eyes says madly). "If you keep this up, I'll have you put back into your cage!"

The Little Fireman is now putting the piece of paper back into his uniform suit jacket. Has a sad look on his face and shiskfully walks away.

Ted is now entering Mr. Schmidt's office, where Mr. Schmidt is sitting at his desk with some of his inventions and statues on the desk has a really sad look on his face and in his voice.

TED to OTTO, (Mr. Schmidt): (As he closes the door. Patting him on the back in happiness and a smile on his face and glee in his voice). "Hello, boss, what is it?"

OTTO to TED: (With a sad look on his face and feeling totally unsuccessful and sadness in his voice says). "Teddie, today the creditors come to take charge of the business."

TED to OTTO: (Worried and shouting in determination and sounding reassuring says). "No, they cannot do that to you!"

OTTO to TED: (Sighing, sadness on his face and in his voice says). "No, they done it all ready!"

TED to OTTO: (As Otto starts to leave feeling hurt and unsuccessful. Is grabbed by the arm by Ted who is supporting a look of carryingness on his face and support in his voice). "I'll kick them outta here!"

OTTO to TED: (Thoroughly hurt and disgusted sounding)."no, no, no, no, no, hun, a failure after twenty years."

TED to OTTO: (With a smile on his face and reassurance in his voice says). "Maybe, maybe, Louise can think of something!"

OTTO to TED: (With a worried look on his face and a worried sounding voice as he waves his hands and sighs). "no, no Louise must never know!"

TED to OTTO: (With a look of care on his face and hurt in his voice says). "But she's gotta find it out sooner or later."

OTTO to TED: (In a total state of giving up and hurt in his voice sighs). "Maybe something happens, and earthquake, or the world comes to an end!"

Otto is sitting at his desk sad and worried and looking at some of his inventions feeling totally unsuccessful and Ted is by his side feeling hurt and worried.

Ted then tries to cheer up Otto by looking at some of the things on his desk says in a happy and reassuring state with a smile on his face and glee in his eyes.

TED to OTTO: (Smiling and laughing as he picks up some of Otto's inventions states). "Say, how about these gadgets and inventions, someday they outta make you alot of money!"

OTTO to TED: (In a voice and look on his face that says, I'm giving up, I am a total failure). "No, that only happens in books, and movin' pictures."

TED to OTTO: (Smiling and laughing and asks in a supportive voice as he picks up a "Feather Duster Type Thingie. asks). "But, what is this boss?"

OTTO to TED: (laughing a bit and sounding a bit more cheerie says). "It's a little idea of mine." I call it my "Gravy Removal Brush."

Otto is now happily demonstrating it with pride and joy and laughing a tad. He hooks it Ted's wrist with the clamp.

Otto tells Ted you use it to wipe the gravy off of your lapel when you are eating stew.

OTTO to TED: (As he happily has his invention hooked onto Ted's wrist and puts a spoon in Ted's hand says). "I'll show you!"

TED to OTTO: (With a dumbfounded look on his face and question in his voice says). "I must eat?"

Ted then takes the spoon and pretends to be taking a bite of stew, then as he is going for his second bite, his lapel is being wiped off with the "Gravy Removal Brush."

OTTO to TED: (Smiling and has a look of glee in his eyes and pride in his voice says). "You see, when you spill the gravy, it wipes it off on the down stroke."

TED to OTTO: (Laughing and showing happiness on his face as he tries it again as he takes his third bite of stew). "That's very good, good, that's very good!"

Ted then takes his fourth bite of stew using "The Gravy Removal Brush" one mor time saysin happiness and agreement). "On the down stroke that's very, very, good!"

A: "GRAVY REMOVAL BRUSH INVENTION":

SUPPLIES:
1: One dusting brush.
2: One plastic wrist band.
3: One metal fastener.

INSTRUCTIONS:
1: Hook the wrist band to the dusting brush using the metal fastener.
2: Hook the brush to the persons wrist with the plastic band and use.


Ted then removes "The Gravy Removal Brush" from his wrist.

TED to OTTO: (Laughing and waving his hands happily and showing glee in his eyes and on his face says). "But you haven't a couple of sponges that I can put over my eyes in case that I eat grapefruit?"

Otto then laughs with Ted loudly and with happiness on his face and glee in his voice.

OTTO to TED: (At the time forgetting about the creditors, laughs out loudly and is in a total state of glee says). "Ah, here is my pet!"

Otto with a look of glee on his face and laughing and totally full of pride, as he picks up a top hat on a plastic base and explains to Ted what it is.

TED to OTTO: (With his hands on his waist and a look of question on his face and has a questionable sounding voice says). "That's the pet?"

OTTO to TED: (Stands up with a proud look on his face and a sound of proudness in his voice says). "Wait, I show you."

Otto then takes the top hat on the plastic base and demonstrated it. He puts in on his head and says this is "My Self Tipping Hat."

TED to OTTO: (Waving his hands and has a sound of glee in his voice and in his eyes laughingly states). "What I am looking for is a self tipping waiter."

Otto then laughs with Ted about the waiter joke.

TED to OTTO: (With his hands behind his back and a happy look on his face and laughing slightly asks). "What's the idea, what's the idea with the high hat?"

Otto says to Ted, I call it "My Self Tipping Hat Invention."

OTTO to TED: (With a look of pride on his face and a proud sounding voice as he demonstrates it, he backs up a bit). "When you're walking down the street, on a cold winters day, when you meet a lady, you don't have to take the hands out of the pockets to tip your hat."

Otto then pulls a string on the back on the hat that raises it up off the plastic pedestal.

OTTO to TED: (After he has proudly demonstrated his "Self Tipping Hat Invention" twice says in a questionable voice). "You like it?"

TED to OTTO: (With a perplexed and wondering look on his face as he waves his hand back and forth says). "Yes, and No."

OTTO to TED: (As he demonstrates his "Self Tipping Hat Invention" once again says). "I'll try it again, hello, good?"

TED to OTTO: (Laughing and with a smile on his face says). "It's a good idea, but it won't do me any good, because I don't know any ladies."

Otto is laughing at Ted's remark as he is bouncing his hat up and down on its base by the string.

B: "SELF TIPPING HAT INVENTION:"

SUPPLIES:
1: One top hat.
2: One expandable plastic pedestal.
3: One giant sized spring.
4: Two medium sized metal fasteners.
5: Four medium sized metal screws.
6: One pull cord.

INSTRUCTIONS:
1: Hook the top hat to the top of the plastic pedestal with one of the metal fasteners and two of the screws.
2: Hook the giant spring to the bottom of the plastic pedestal with the other metal fastener and the othe two screws.
3: Securely tie the pull cord to the top of the giant spring by the top of the hat.


OTTO to TED: (In a really happy mood, and has temporarily forgotten about the creditors, as he removes his "Self Tipping Hat" from his head says). Come on, I'll show you another one."

Ted then happily follows Otto Schmidt to another one of his inventions in a back storage room.

OTTO to TED: (Once again is proud as a peacock with this invention as he smiles in glee). "This is my 'Automatic Coffee Sweetner'. Here is a cup of coffee and here is a lump of sugar."

TED to OTTO: (With his hands on his waist, smiling and looking at the invention quizzically says). "Yeah."

OTTO to TED: (Still demonstrating it and with pride in his voice and on his face says, refering to the sugar lump). "You put it here. Here's a roller."

TED to OTTO: (Still with his hands on his waist and a quizzically look on his face and smiling says quietly). "A roller, yes."

OTTO to TED: (Still in a total state of pride states). "You put here." (At the top of the angled board). This is a plain pool cue. I push the roller and the sugar goes right in the cup."

TED to OTTO: (Both laughing and smiling). "Marvelous, marvelous!, But, ah, what can you do with a beef stew?"

OTTO to TED: (Laughing and waving his hand at him and smiling says). "I work on that later!"

C: "AUTOMATIC COFFEE SWEETNER INVENTION:"

SUPPLIES:
1: Two boards three feet each.
2: One expandable screw in metal rod.
3: Two metal rings, one big and one small.
4: One small metal platelet.
5: One medium sized hand strainer.
6: Two more boards, foot and half.
7: 6 medium sized wood screws.
8: 2 small wood screws.
9: One medium sized ball bearing.
10: One standard pool cue.
11: One wood router.
12: One electric drill.
13: One drill bit 2 inches.
14: One sugar lump.
15: One cup of coffee.

INSTRUCTIONS:
1: Take one of the 3 foot boards, take the drill and bit and drill two holes, one on each end of the board, and fasten the two 1.5 foot boards on it width wise, one at each end, in about 3 inches, fasten using 2 screws per board.
2: Take the second 3 foot board and fasten it at a 90 degree angle using the screw in expandable metal rod about 8 inches down to the flat board.
3: Take the medium sized metal platelet and fasten it on the flat board in the middle with 2 more screws.
4: Take the 2 metal rings and fasten them at the bottom of the angled board, putting the big one first, then the small one, using 1 screw per ring.
5: Take the router and cut a medium sized hole, about 4 inches round on the flat board, 8 inches in from the left side.
6: Insert the medium strainer in the hole.
7: Place the sugar lump at the bottom of the angled board on top of the metal platelet.
8: Put the cup of coffee at the end of the flat board.
9: Place the ball bearing on the top of the angled board.
10: Take the pool cue and shoot the ball bearing that rolls down the board, hits the sugar lump, sends it flying into the cup of coffee.


OTTO to TED: (With a happy look on his face and waves his finger at him saying). "Oh, Teddie, Come here, once come here."

Ted then leaves Mr. Schmidt's office following Otto. Ted as he is leaving turns back and gives the "Automatic Coffee Sweetner Invention" a look as if to say you are the most stupidest idea going.

OTTO to TED: (With happiness on his face and total pride in his voice says). "Now, I show you my best one."

Ted and Otto are now entering a small room with his invention, and shelves covered with different stage props.

OTTO to TED: (Smiling and supporting sheer pride says in a happy voice says). "This is what I call my 'Burglar Alarm.'

Ted and Otto are now looking out of a second story, opened window.

OTTO to TED: (Pointing at the window and smiling happy and stating a state of pride says). "Yeah, when the burglar comes here through the window."

TED to OTTO: (With his hands on his waist, smile on his face, and looking at Otto quizzically says). "Yes, He steps on the button."

Ted then steps on the button and gets hit in the head with a giant metal mallet, which causes a huge shoe to swing back and forth. Ted looses his balance and is caught by Otto who helps him up.

OTTO to TED: (With a sound of worry in his voice, but still showing total pride says). "Oh, Teddie, look out here, look out here!"

TED to OTTO: (Rubbing his head and has a worried and quizzical look on his face, refering to the giant shoe). "Look out, I'm dead, you liked to kill me with that thing."

OTTO to TED: (In a state of worry and a look of hurt on his faces says). "Are you hurt?"

TED to OTTO: (Pointing to the giant shoe, and a look of question asks). "What is this, that is the thing I want to know now!"

Ted and Otto are once again looking out of the window.

TED to OTTO: (With a look of explination on his face as he smiles proudly says). "This oh this, this foot here, this kicks the burglar right out through the transom. He slides down the chute, onto the turnstable, the turnstable spins around, and also the mouse, here is my (live) cat, with a string tied to it's tail, on the other end is around the sprinkling can upstairs over my bed. I am asleep upstairs, underneath the sprinkling can, the cat see's the mouse, chases the mouse, pulls the string, tips over the can, the water comes all over me, and then I wake up!"

TED to OTTO: (With a look of wonderment and explination on his face and dismay in his voice as he points his finger at the chute says). "Very good, you say, that the burglar slides down here, then he spins around, and the mouse spins around, then the cat see's the mouse, with the string and the water ---- ."

Ted is now laughing joyfully at the invention as he pats Otto on the shoulder at agreement of the invention.

TED to OTTO: (As the two of them leave the window, and Ted shakes his head in question and smiling says). "Come here a minute."

OTTO to TED: (With happiness in his voice and pride on his face says). "You see how simple it is, Teddie?"

TED to OTTO: (With his hand on Otto's shoulder and a perplexed look on his face says). "It takes so long, the burglar's liable to die of old age before he's caught."

D: "BURGLAR ALARM INVENTION":

SUPPLIES:
1: One giant spring activated push button step.
2: One giant sized metal mallet.
3: One giant wood shoe.
4: One down spout of an eves trough, (hollowed out), for the chute.
5: Three extra large metal swing action arm.
6: Three pieces of rope, one about 20 feet and the other two about 100 feet.
7: One giant wooden turnstable with attached mouse.
8: One live cat of your choice.
9: One water filled watering can.
10: Four 3 foot metal rods.
11: One large spring action boxing glove device.
12: One metal rod 3 feet by 1 inch.
13: Two giant economy sized metal platelets.
14: Fourteen extra large metal screws.
15: One metal block and rod. Block, 6 inches squared, Rod, 3 feet tall.

INSTRUCTIONS:
1: Attach the push button step securely to a hard surface of choice.
2: Then attach the button to the metal mallet using one of the extra large swing action arms and one of the 3 foot metal rods.
3: Take the other swing action arm and other 3 foot metal rod and attach the giant shoe.
4: Take the third 3 foot metal rod and attach the mallet to the swing arm of the shoe.
5: Then take the last swing arm and 3 foot rod and connect the glove device to the push button.
6: Attach the chute to the side of your house using the giant economy sized metal platelets.
7: Take the metal block and rod and set it securely underneath the chute for support.
8: Put the turnstable either on a hard surface or in your yard.
9: Take the 20 foot rope and attach it to the turnstable and then attach it to the metal block and rod underneath the chute.
10: Then take the 100 foot rope and attach from the metal block and rod to the cat tail of your choice, using approximately 30 feet of it.
11: With the remaining 70 feet tie it to the watering can that is propped up on your opened window ledge.


CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE, THREE GOOFIE LOOKING CHARACTERS AND ONE NICE LOOKING YOUNG GENTLEMAN:

YOUNG MAN to QUEENIE: (As he closes the door and removes his hat and smiles happily). "How do you do,? I'd like to see Mr. Schmidt please?"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE:

She gives the good looking gentleman a nice, friendly look and smiling joyfully. When she sees the goofie characters, who are dressed in odd looking suits with square shaped beards and toting attaché cases and wear Ben Franklin style glasses, she gives them a look of discontent.

QUEENIE to the YOUNG GENTLEMAN: (Smiling, chewing her gum and his mischief on her face and in her eyes asks). "Are those your three little boys?"

The young gentleman with a really beautiful smile on his face and happiness in his eyes and is laughing at what Queenie had just asked.

YOUNG GENTLEMAN to QUEENIE: (Smiling and a look of glee on his face and states in a polite and business-like manner). "No, those are efficiency men."

QUEENIE to the YOUNG GENTLEMAN: (With a gleam in her eyes and a look of mischief on her face and in her voice says). "If you're gonna get costumes for them, I'd advise you'd leave them the way they are, they look funny enough already."

YOUNG GENTLEMAN to QUEENIE: (Sporting a smile on his face, and slightly laughing and removing a card from his inside suit jacket pocket and hands it to Queenie says). "Thanks, for the tip."

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE, YOUNG GENTLEMAN, EFFICIENCY MEN:

Queenie is reading the card that he handed her.

QUEENIE to YOUNG GENTLEMAN: (With a professional look on her face says after reading his card). "Just a minute, and I'll see if Mr. Schmidt can see you."

Queenie then stands up from her desk, holding the business card.

The three efficiency men are standing by the gentleman.

YOUNG MAN to QUEENIE: (With a smile on his face and still is holding his hat says in a professional voice). "Thank-you!"

Queenie then approaches Mr. Schmidt and Ted. She hands the business card to Otto.

QUEENIE to OTTO and TED: (Chewing on her gum with a look of mischief on her face and mischief in her voice says). "This bird is out here with Three Musketeers."

Mr. Schmidt is reading the card. While he, Ted and Queenie are giving them nasty looks.

OTTO to TED and QUEENIE: (With sadness on his face and a sound of bewilderment in his voice says in general discussion). "Well, here they are!"

TED to OTTO: (With his hand on Otto's shoulder. A look of hurt on his face and madness in his voice as he waves his hand at the young man and his musketeers). "I'll go out and take them one by one ----."

QUEENIE to TED and OTTO: (With a flirtatious look on her face and in her eyes says). "Gee, I wonder who that young fellow is, he's got nice eyes!"

Queenie has a flirting look on her face while Ted has a mad look on his face, looking at her while Otto is again reading the business card).

TED to QUEENIE: (Mad and raising his hand says). "Say, I'll sock ya!"

QUEENIE to TED: (With her hands on her waist, madness in her voice and a mad look on her faces shouts). "Well, go ahead and sock me."

Ted and Queenie are now engaged in a fighting match shouting at one another.

QUEENIE: (Shouting and terribly mad with Ted yells). "Go ahead and hit me, sock me, go ahead!"

TED: (Thoroughly disgusted with Queenie has his hands on his waist and a ugly look on his face). "I'll sock ya, don't worry about me. I'll sock you, don't worry about me."

OTTO to QUEENIE and TED: (Cutting in on their fighting match. Has sadness in his eyes and a look of unsuccessfulness on his face states). "That's young Mr. Carlson, he's come to take charge of the business, I'm a bankrupt."

QUEENIE to OTTO: (With a look of question on her face and in her eyes says). "What's a bankrupt?"

TED to QUEENIE: (With a mad look on his face and shouting at her in a questionable voice). "What's a bankrupt!"

OTTO to QUEENIE: (With a look of total failure on his face and sadness states to her about her bankrupt question). "Failure, I've lost everything."

TED to OTTO: (Slightly mad at him with his hands on his waist and disgust in his voice about reference to Queenie). "Now, you've done it, she'll spill the beans to Louise."

OTTO to QUEENIE: (Begging her). "Please don't tell Louise."

TED to OTTO: (In reference to Queenie and her giant economy sized mouth with a look of hurt on his face and wonder in his voice). "She can't keep a secret, she's a human newsreel."

QUEENIE to TED: (Cutting in on him with mischief in her eyes and joy in her voice). "That's enough from you, you fire bug!"

TED to QUEENIE: (With his hands on his waist, madness in his face and eyes and has his hand ready to smack here says). ""Ah, shut up, you pin head!"

QUEENIE to TED: (Still gum chewing, and madness on her face and in her eyes shouts to Ted). "Shut up, yourself."

TED to QUEENIE: (Mad and thoroughly disgusted and glaring at her says). "You're telling me to shut up."

QUEENIE to TED: (Yelling at him and glaring at him in madness). "Yeah, you're telling me to shut up."

TED to QUEENIE: (Mad. and his hands ready to smack her across the face). I'll give ya!"

OTTO to TED and QUEENIE: (Feeling totally sad, lost, and unsuccessful with sadness in his eyes and waving his hands and he is interupting their fighting match and sighs). "Quiet, quiet. Tell 'em to come in!"

Queenie is starting to go and see Mr. Carlson, (young gentleman), while Mr.Schmidt is going into his office is grabbed by the arm by Ted.

TED to QUEENIE: (With a look of scaredness in his eyes, madness in his eyes and total disgust on his face shouts at her). "Hey, you, if you blab this to Louise, I'll slap you, and it won't be on your face either."

Queenie then sticks her tongue out at Ted and Ted does the same thing to her. Then Queenie is approaching Mr. Carlson and his efficiency men.

QUEENIE to MR. CARLSON: (With a flirtatious look on her says). "Right this way Mr. Carlson and you can bring the three what's its with ya!"

Mr. Carlson now has a look of happiness on his face and his is following Queenie to Mr. Schmidt's office with his efficiency men following behind him.

Queenie is now opening the door to Mr. Schmid'ts office. She let's him in and she gives him a look of flirt and a sweet smile.

MR. CARLSON to QUEENIE: (As he enters Mr. Schmidt's office with a happy look on his face and a professional voice states). "Thank-you!"

The efficiency men are marching in as Queenie runs away and they turn around and give her a look of dismay before they enter the office.

The efficiency men all reach the doorway at one time and are pushing and shoving at one another to be the first on in. Finally, they all enter in at the same time slightly loosing their balances.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MR. CARLSON, OTTO AND THE EFFICIENCY MEN:

Otto is standing and looking at his desk holding his "Gravy Removal Brush Invention" and thinking back about the old times when the business was successful and he was happy. Mr. Carlson is standing at Otto's left and the effieciency men are standing in a straight line toting their attaché cases.

MR. CARLSON to OTTO SCHMIDT: (With an apologetic look on his and apology in his voice as he approaches Mr. Schmidt). "I'm sorry Mr. Schmidt, but, my father sent me here to take charge of this business."

OTTO SCHMIDT to MR. CARLSON: (With sadness in his voice and waving his hands in disgust shouts and a sad look on his states as he is dusting his desk with his "Gravy Removal Brush"). Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!"

MR. CARLSON to MR. SCHMIDT: (In a hurtful voice as he throws his 'Gravy Removal Brush' on his desk and shakes his head in disagreement). "Oh, no, no!"

MR. CARLSON to OTTO: (In a professional and apologetic sounding voice and hurt in his eyes as he is waving his hands and explaining). "Well you see, my father is a chief creditor ----."

OTTO to MR. CARLSON: (Interrupting his spiel and yelling and shaking his hands madly). "Creditor, creditor, that's what rich me call business, send their good for nothing son's around to close up places like this. Just, just to keep them out of mischief. Rich people. Modern ideas. Humbug!"

Mr. Schmidt then walks away feeling low, sad, hurt, and totally worthless. Mr. Carlson in looking at him hurtfully with the three efficiency men standing behind Mr. Carlson.

Mr. Carlson in reference to what Otto had just said, whistles and then looks the business over at what he and his efficiency men are about to get into, as he is leaving the office he gives a close up look at a mummy sarcophagus.

Mr. Carlson as he is leaving the office runs into Louise who is carrying a very tall stack of various hats. He then bumbs into her, knocking her and the hats to the ground, except for two. One is a cowboy style hat that she is holding and one with a giant feather that she is wearing.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LOUISE:

She is sitting there looking very glamorous with a smile on her face and the feathered hat on her head.

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (As Louise is giving him a very flirtatious look and smiling sweetly at him). "Hello!"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (In a very friendly voice and a smile on her face says in a sweet, low toned voice). "Hello!"

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (Holding his hat, and with a worried look on his face asks). "Are you hurt?"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (With a concerned sounding voice and smiling sweetly still says). "No, are you?"

Mr. Carlson then gets up and walks over to Louise with a very friendly look on his face, as Louise is looking at him in the same manner.

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (In reference to her question about being hurt). "I'm not sure yet!"

The two of them are still sitting on the floor with looks of happiness on the faces and love in their eyes at each other.

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (Still with a very contented and peaceful look on her face says). "I guess I better get these things."

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (With a really happy and look of love on his face and in his eyes and a calm and quiet voice says). "Oh, no, don't move!"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (Still total gazed out in her state of happiness and love says). "All right!"

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (Looking at her very sweetly and carryingly asks). "They're brown aren't they?"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (In a questionable voice). "What?"

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (As he points at her and she is taking hat from her head and looking at it saying ---- 'feathers'?, "No, your eyes!"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (Turning away slightly embarrassed says). "Oh, I guess I better be going!"

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (As he is helping her up and still has a look of love on his face as he is holding her hands says happily). "Oh, don't go!"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (With a look of true happiness on her face and with loving and adoring eyes says). "Good-bye!"

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (With a true look of love in his eyes and on his face as he reluctantly lets go of her hands so she can leave says). "Good-bye!

Mr. Carlson then throws her a kiss and is totally awestricken by her and is fully in love.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MR. CARLSON:

He is standing there in a total state of falling in love. He is hugging himself with a total look of joy on his face and saying very happily 'oh boy!'

Mr. Carlson then turns to kiss an iron steppon, which happens to be where the Little Fireman is at, listening to everything that just went on. The Little Fireman then raises the head of the steppon and has a sheer look of delight on his face and raises his eyebrows in joy about the kiss.

As Mr. Carlson is leaving the main entrance area the Little Fireman turns and watches he leave waving his eyebrows up and down still in delight about the kiss.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED AND QUEENIE:

Queenie is in a costume storage room straightening up different costumes and paraphernalia as Ted is approaching her.

TED to QUEENIE: (He has a mad look on his face as she turns around and puts her hands on her waist and is giving Ted a mad look back as Ted states). "Listen here applehead, when you meet Louise, I want you to keep your trap shut!"

QUEENIE to TED: (As she is now getting down from the chair that she was using to straighten up some top stock with and gives Ted a shove in madness and shouting at him). "Applehead!"

TED to QUEENIE: (Shouting back at her totally mad with his hands on his waist and glareing at her slightly states). "Yes, yes, I don't mean grapefruit!"

Louise is now entering the stock room where Ted and Queenie are and Ted is putting his finger up to his lip as a sign for Queenie to keep her trap shut.

LOUISE to TED and QUEENIE: (With Ted sitting on one of the storage shelves and Queenie standing behind him. Louise says in general discussion and with glee in her voice and love in her eyes says). "I just met the nicest boy!"

TED to LOUISE: (With a look of question on his face and sitting on the storage shelf with his hands crossed and smiling slightly). "Who is he?"

LOUISE to TED and QUEENIE: (She has a look of total glee and happiness on her face and joy in her voice says). "I don't know, but he's got brown eyes, and brown hair, and he had on a brown suit, and a tan tie."

TED to LOUISE: (Still sitting on the shelf, smiling and sightly laughing says). "You didn't notice him at all!"

Louise then looks to the storage room floor in total happiness and love in her eyes with Ted and Queenie by her side.

TED to LOUISE: (Pointing to his head, smiling, and laughing slightly says). "Did he have on a grey hat with a black band, and tan shoes?"

Louise is standing there looking at Ted in a state of joy and contentment agreeing to Ted about his additions of Mr. Carlson.

TED to LOUISE: (Laughing slightly still sitting on the shelf says). "I don't know him!"

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (With question in her voice and a look of happy mischief on her face asks). "Will you introduce me to him?"

TED to QUEENIE: (Totally mad and with a look of disgust on his face says). "You want to meet every man you see!"

TED to QUEENIE: (With Louise by his side and being factious with his arms crossed and says to her in a mischievous voice and being a bit of wisecracker says). "I'll let you meet the Secretary of War and he'll introduce you to the Army, and I'll even introduce you to the Navy and the Marines are very fine fellows."

QUEENIE to TED: (With a look of gleam on her face and question in her voice says). "Really?"

LOUISE to QUEENIE: (As she is bending forward slightly towards Queenie and has a look of wonder on her face and wonderment in her voice says). "I can't introduce you to him because I don't know his name."

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (Slightly whispering, her hands on her waist, chewing on a gum stick and a quizzical look on her face says). "Is he nice?"

LOUISE to QUEENIE: (With an adorning look on her face and sound of joy and happiness in her voice says). "I should say he is!"

QUEENIE to TED and LOUISE: (As Queenie and Ted both have perplexed looks on their faces. Queenie with her hands on her waist and looking at the ceiling says). "Now, ain't that funny!"

TED to LOUISE: (Still sitting on the storage shelf and looking at her carryingly and pointing his finger at Queenie says in regards to Queenie's statement). "That's philosopy for ya!"

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (With Ted at her side standing there and she is still staring at the ceiling and her hands on her waist with mischief in her voice blabbers out to Louise). "To think that you should meet such a nice fellow on the day that your Uncle Otto is gonna get kicked out!"

Ted then interrupts, putting his handkerchief up to his mouth, clearing his throat loudly, pretending he is choking on something to try and drown out what blabber mouth Queenie has just stated.

TED to QUEENIE: (Trying to get rid of her and cover up what she said, has a mad look on his face says). "Here, now go, go to the drug store and get me some cough syrup."

LOUISE to QUEENIE: (With a hurtful and questionable sound in her voice with sadness on her face says). "Why Queenie, what do you mean?"

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (With a look of mischief on her face and shouts slightly). "Why dear, ain't you heard, the place is in the hands of a receiver, a creditor or something, is gonna take charge, Uncle Otto is gonna get the gate, but Teddie and I are gonna stick on it so ----."

LOUISE to QUEENIE: (With hurt in her voice and crying slightly says). "Oh, that can't be so."

All the while Queenie is blabbering to Louise about her Uncle Otto loosing his business, Ted is putting his hands on Louise's shoulder, and has a supportive look on his face trying comfort and convince Louise that Queenie is lying. To try and make Louise not feel so bad.

TED to LOUISE: (With a look of worry on his face, and trying to comfort her waving his hands says). "Don't believe it, don't believe it, if I say is isn't so ----."

QUEENIE to TED: (Interrupting Ted and shouting at him saying to the fact that Ted is covering up the facts shouts slightly with a tad of apology in her voice towards Louise). "You can't make a lie about me, I heard Mr. Schmidt say so himself. Honestly, honey, I am awfully sorry!"

Louise is now standing by Ted still in the storage room with a deep look of hurt on her face with Ted by her side trying to console her and Queenie is standing there with a blank look on her face and her hands on her waist.

TED to LOUISE: (In a voice that is reassuring sounding with his hand on her shoulder in caring manner). "It can't be so bad, don't worry Louise, everything will be all right."

Louise is now leaving the storage room in a total state of hurt and sadness on her face, crying. Ted and Queenie are still in the storage room.

Ted turns and looks at Queenie with his arms crossed and a deep disgusted look on his face. Queenie is looking at Ted with a look of worry on her face and puts her finger up to her mouth as if she is saying, ooops, I just let the cat out of the bag.

TED to QUEENIE: (Still with his arms crossed, and thoroughly mad look on his face and in his eyes shouts to Queenie). "You, fathead!"

QUEENIE to TED: (With a look of dismay on her face and wonderment in her eyes with her finger still at her mouth states). "I couldn't help it, it just came out!"

TED to QUEENIE: (Totally disgusted with her and is shouting at her madly as he slaps her once across the face says). "So you open your mouth and the words walk right out. I'll put a zipper on that mouth."

TED to QUEENIE: (With Ted pushing her backwards down a hall and Queenie is screaming and ranting and raving at the top of lungs Ted says). "Go ahead, go ahead cry, go ahead cry, cry, cry louder if wanna cry louder I don't care."

While Ted is pushing Queenie backwards down the hall and yelling at her about what she just told Louise and Queenie is still crying and ranting and raving at the top of her lungs. Mr. D. Quincy Throckmorton is standing there looking madly at Ted, after hearing the fight betwixt Ted and Queenie.

MR. THROCKMORTON to TED: (Waving his hands madly and has a hurt look on his and shouts to Ted). "Say, old man, you can't do that!"

Ted then shoves Mr. Throckmorton into a wall where Mr. Throckmorton looses his balance and falls backwards into a wall that has a giant mask on it and knocks it off and it lands on his head.

Queenie and Ted are now leaving and she is still screaming as Ted is yelling at her and slapping her on the face, Mr. Throckmorton is still wearing the giant mask.

MR. THROCKMORTON: (In reference to the mask and in a total state of panic and worry says). "Help, help, help, turn on the lights, turn on the lights, turn on the lights."

MR. THROCKMORTON to TED and QUEENIE: (Mr. Throckmorton in on camera, and Ted and Queenie are off camera says in reference to Queenie's yelling). "I say, you can put a zipper on that young ladies mouth!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MR. CARLSON AND HIS EFFICIENCY MEN:

Mr. Carlson is sitting at Mr. Schmidt's desk, looking at his books, while the efficiency men are throwing some furniture out of a window.
(The office has an adding machine and a dictaphone by the right side of the front desk. Another adding machine and a picture of Louise, a lamp, other offices supplies on the front desk. A back desk with a telephone, books, and a lamp on it. A mummy sarcophagus by the right side of the door. Pictures on the left side wall. The following signs are on the main wall.
1: "Yesterday, never comes back."
2: "Now, is the time and place."
3: "Business only!"
4: One picture of a high rise building.

Louise is now frantically running into Mr. Schmidt's office yelling out in a state of panic and hurt. "Uncle Otto."

Louise then notices Mr. Carlson, the young man she was madly in love with sitting at Mr. Schmidt's desk, she then jumps back in fright.

Mr. Carlson then gets up with a smile on his face as he happily approaches Louise, extending his hand out in help and friendship.

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (With a worried look on her face and worry in her voice says in pain). "Mister, mister....!" (he cuts in and says 'Carlson').

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (Really hurt and sad about her Uncle Otto loosing his business and slightly crying says). "Oh, Mr. Carlson. something dreadful has happened, my Uncle has been thrown in bankruptcy!"

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (With a supportive sounding voice and a look of care in his eyes says). "Don't get so tagic about it!"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (Not knowing he is the one who is taking over the business says with hurt in her eyes and voice that is calling out for help and slightly shouting). "But some dreadful person is coming here to take charge, I won't let him do it, I tell you, I won't let him do it!"

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (With a carrying look on his face and care in his voice as he puts his hand on her shoulder to reassure her). "Maybe he isn't so dreadful!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE GOOFIE LOOKING EFFICIENCY DUDES:

The three efficiency dudes are standing there in a neat row supporting blank looks on their faces holding their attaché cases.

EFFICIENCY DUDES to MR. CARLSON: (With business looks on their faces and seriousness in their voices says). "Mr. Carlson, we have made everything fool proof!"

THREE EFFICIENCY to MR. CARLSON: (In unison and very professional). "We will now leave you in charge!"

The efficiency me then remove their hats and bow at Mr. Carlson, then put their hats back on and march out like three little tin soldiers.

Louise is now giving Mr. Carlson a really mean and dirty look, not that she has learned that he is the person who has come to take over the business.

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (Giving him a really mean and nasty look, with her eyes slighty squinted shouts at him in disgust). "You!"

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (Putting his hands on her shoulders and has a pleading sounding voice asks). "Oh, please listen to me. Just a few minutes ago we were talking to each other!"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (Crying deeply and deeply hurt and shouting at him). "I, hate you!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED, QUEENIE, and LOUISE:

Ted and Queenie are standing outside the office door, with worried looks on their faces and deep hurt in their eyes. Louise slams the office door and is running up stairs hurt and crying deeply and in deep pain.

TED to QUEENIE: (With a look of support on his face and determination in his voice). "She must have had some trouble with the new boss, I'll handle it!

Ted then enters into the office to have a talk with Mr. Carlson.

Mr. Carlson is in the office and has a look of mischief on his face and is holding a picture lovingly in his hands. Ted is standing by him a bit perturbed about things.

TED to MR. CARLSON: (Shouting at him and has a ferocious look on his face and waving his hands at him says). "Say, isn't there someway we can call this whole thing off!"

CAMERA CLOSE- UP ON MR. SCHMIDT:

Otto is sitting in is bedroom on his bed feeling totally distraught, discouraged and fully unsuccessful as he is playing "Auld Lange Syne" on his slide trombone totally off key.

Louise is now standing in his bedroom doorway, listening to him play. She has very hurtful look on her face and sadness in her eyes as she is looking at her Uncle feeling so downhearded about loosing his business after twenty-five years.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED AND MR. CARLSON:

Ted and Mr. Carlson are standing in the office. Ted supporting a look of dismay on his face and Mr. Carlson has a look of pure joy on his face.

In reference to hearing Otto playing, Ted with a worried look on his face saying 'ta-ta-ta-ta,' and Mr. Carlson has a look of question on his face.

MR. CARLSON to TED: (In reference to Otto's playing off key says). "What's that?"

TED to MR. CARLSON: (In answer and Ted is pointing a finger at Mr. Carlson and has a hurtful and mornful look on his face says). "That's Old Man Schmidt, he always plays that way when he's not feeling well!"

MR. CARLSON to TED: (With a look of hurt on his face and slightly squinting his eyes and a hurtful sounding voice says). "I think he must feel pretty bad!"

TED to MR. CARLSON: (Mad and shouting at him with his hands on his waist says and shaking his head). "You think he must feel bad, according to the way he is playing he has high blood pressure. I must go up there and see what is the matter."

Ted is now leaving the office and is going up the stairs to see what is the matter is with Otto.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LOUISE:

Louise is still standing in the doorway of her Uncle's bedroom totally sad and feeling as let down about loosing the business as her Uncle is feeling. Otto is now finishing up his sad and mournful version of "Auld Lange Syne."

Louise is now going to her Uncle and is sitting beside him on the bed giving him a hug of reassurance.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (Totally hurt and feeling let down as she is putting her hand on his shoulder for comfort). "Oh, Uncle Otto, I guess we were just too happy."

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (Looking at her with a sad and questionable look on his face as he says in low, and let down tone of voice). "You knew, you found out?"

Ted is now standing in Otto's room not noticed by Louise and Otto. Looking at them in a very caring way and feeling totally hurt.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (With a determined sounding voice and a bit of glee in her eyes as she taps him on the shoulder and says). "But I won't let them put us out!, they can't close up the place, we're gonna stay right here!"

Otto is now closing down his slide trombone, as Louise is caringly patting him on the shoulders while she notices Ted entering the room.

TED to OTTO: (Sporting a look of help on his face and reassurance in his voice as he puts his hand on Otto's shoulder). "Say listen, I've been thinking, we can pitch right in and get some War Orders and have the debts paid off in no time, then Carlson's out!"

While Ted is talking, Otto is looking at his slide trombone very sadly and mournfully and Louise has a look of joy on her face about Ted's statement.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (Smiling and showing glee in her eyes and sounding reasssuring about what Ted said). "See Uncle Otto, we'll stay!"

TED to UNCLE OTTO: (Waving his hands happily and gleefully and slightly laughing and showing glee in his voice and all excited about his thoughts says). "Certainly, certainly, I've got an order from a ventriloquist who wants a new suit for his dummy. And I can rent my cousin a dress suit, ha, ha, he's dying for one. I'm a big business man, and you know I can get the costume order for the firemans ball. I'm all steamed up about this, we'll show this Carlson something."

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (In glee about Ted's suggestions says). "Yes, we'll show him!"

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (In a total state of give up, hurt on his face and sadness in his voice). "No, my dear, I still have my pride, Otto Schmidt can never work for anybody else in this place. I would rather starve!"

Otto then puts his slide trombone back into its carrying case. Puts on his hat with his slide trombone in his hand and walks away still with some pride and dignity.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (With a worried look on her face and worry in her eyes as she gives him a hug asks). "Where are you going?"

As Uncle Otto is leaving Ted and Louise are looking at him really hurt and unhelpful.

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (Sad and forlorn states with a sad and low toned voice says). "Never mind, you and Teddie stay here, don't worry, I'm all right!"

TED to OTTO: (Sounding supportive and sort of begging with his hands on his shoulder in a caring manner says). "Don't go Otto!"

Ted and Louise are both there with supportive hands on his shoulders.

OTTO to LOUISE and TED: (With a look of thanks on his face and still feeling totally let down and unsuccessful says). "I'll come back, I think much better when I'm away from here!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LOUISE, TED, AND OTTO:

Louise is gently hugging her Uncle and gives him a peck on the cheek. Ted is giving him a look of sincere caring and a supportive handshake while Otto is smiling at Ted accepting his care and friendship.

OTTO to LOUISE and TED: (In general discussion and sadness in his voice and is leaving in a state of all is over now). "Good-bye!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON OTTO:

He is down in the shoppe approaching a stack of hats.

OTTO to HIS HATS: (As he is picking one up and looking at it remembering happier times and slightly laughing as he is saying good-bye to them). "Hun, my funny friends, many stupid laughs we had together, yeah, there's something funny in everything, ha-ha-ha-ha, you see, I'm laughing with you. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Otto is now approaching one of his steppons and is patting it in a state of saying good-bye to it.

OTTO to HIS STEPPON: (Slightly crying and once again remembering better times with it as he is telling it good-bye). "And you, my galiant knight, remember I raised you from a tin can, good-bye!"

Otto is now crying at the reality that his actually loosing his busiess and the many happy years of business and personal memories that were in that shoppe.

(The steppon that he was saying good-bye to, was the one that the Little Fireman was and still is in. The Little Fireman is now raising the head of the steppon and is crying so loudly that the steppon is shaking with Otto and the fact that Otto has just permanently lost his costume shoppe.

CAMER CLOSE-UP ON A BUNCH OF PEDESTRIANS AND A RESTAURANT:

The front of the restaurant reads: "Yodel Inn, Kleins."

Otto is now entering the restaurant and looking for his good friend Gus Klein.

Gus Klein is talking to a customer who is reading a menu and Gus is giving the customer a suggestion on what to order.

MR. KLEIN to CUSTOMER: (In a very happy and suggestive voice says as he pointing to an item on the menu). "Once, try the Wienershmitz sauerkraut!"

CUSTOMER to MR. KLEIN: (Shouting back at him in a mean sounding voice and a mean look on his face says hatefully). "No, take it away!"

Poor Gus is watching in hurt as the nasty and irate customer is just using Gus's table as he unpacks his own lunch from his suit jacket pockets, which is a tangerine, a banana, and a salami sandwich and his own tea bag.

NASTY CUSTOMER to POOR GUS: (Shouting nastily and meanfully as he is dipping his own tea bag into a cup of hot water). "Waiter, bring me some hot water!"

POOR GUS to NASTY CUSTOMER: (In a mad sounding voice and shouting back at him arrogantly). "Is there anything else you would like?"

NASTY CUSTOMER to POOR OTTO: (Shouting at him meanly and has a ugly look on his face says). "Yes, have the orchestra play "THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE."

Mr. Klein is standing there really hurt and mad and feeling let down as he is watching the nasty customer eating his own sandwich using Gus's salt shaker, he is eating the sandwich loudly and he is picking at his teeth.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON OTTO:

Gus has just now noticed that Otto has walked in and saw the whole ordeal. Gus then gives Otto a look of dismay as Gus waves his hands in meaness and disagreement at the nasty customer.

Otto is now shaking his head affirmatively noticing what Gus is waving his hands at, (the fact that the nasty, mean customer wants his own meal instead of one provided by the restaurant.)

The nasty customer is sitting there chowing down on his own brought meal and is being obnoxious to poor Mr. Klein.

Gus is now approaching Otto who is standing there holding his slide trombone and talking with Gus.

GUS to OTTO: (Feeling very hurt and let down says). "That's the kind of customers I get, see! And dere's another one!"

Mr. Klein is referring to his second non-purchasing customer, a guy who always comes in and uses one of Mr. Kleins tables just to read his daily post.

OTTO to GUS: (With a question on his face and in his voice asks). "Who is that?"

GUS to OTTO: (Sounding a bit perturbed and let down states). "That's the cartoonist Rube Goldberg, and he don't spend nothing either, he only come in here to open up his mail."

OTTO to GUS: (With support in his voice). "I know all about them cartoonists, they're all alike!"

GUS to OTTO: (Looking at him with a sad look on his face and sadness in his voice asks Otto in a state of worry). "What's da matter with you, you don't look so happy as usual."

OTTO to GUS: (With sadness on his face and hurt on his face and feeling totally out of it). "Ah, I got troubles Gus, troubles!"

Gus then puts his arms around Otto giving him helpful support.

GUS to OTTO: (Giving Otto a very caring and supportive look as he puts his hand on his shoulder and says in a low, caring voice). "Come friend, sit and we'll talk!"

Gus and Otto are now going to a back dining table to talk.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON OTTO AND GUS:

OTTO to GUS: (With a hurt look on his face and sad and let down sounding voice says). "Gus, they have taken away my costume business!"

GUS to OTTO: (Sporting a concerned look on his face and a concerned sounding voice says). "So, it's come at last!"

OTTO to GUS: (Totally sad, forlorn, and feeling totally unsuccessful says). "Yeah, the creditors took charge today."

GUS to OTTO: (Sounding concerned). "But wouldn't they let you stay there?"

OTTO to GUS: (Waving his hands at Gus in diagreement and disgust says). "Ack, who wants to stay in a place with another man running his business!"

GUS to OTTO: (Sounding really mournful and has a caring look on his face as he is nodding up and down in agreement). "I understand, you know you're always welcome here!"

OTTO to GUS: (With a real sad sounding voice and looking at the floor says). "Yeah!"

GUS to OTTO: (With a supportive hand on Otto's shoulder and support in his voice states). "Listen, I don't exactly need another waiter, but you can put on an apron and sit around!"

OTTO to GUS: (With thankfulness in his voice and look of thankfulness on his face says). "Dunkashain, anything is better than going back to that place."

GUS to OTTO: (As he takes a fifth of whiskey from his apron pocket says in a happy and supportive voice says). "I think you need a little something stronger than words to cheer you up!"

Gus then puts the fifth of whiskey down in the centre of the table and offers Otto a drink.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE WHISKEY FIFTH:

GUS to OTTO: (In a state of friendship and caring offers Otto the whiskey). "Here, try this!"

OTTO to GUS: (With a look of mischief on his face and question in his voice as he picks up the fifth). "Is this good stuff?"

Otto is now opening the whiskey fifth to take a drink.

GUS to OTTO: (Looking at Otto caringly and says in a friendly low tone of voice). "My Son-In-Law works on a boat!"

Otto is now taking a drink of the whiskey.

OTTO to GUS: (After tasting the whiskey and has a total look of glee on his face says in approval). "Aah, you should have a couple of Son-In-Laws."

Gus the reaches over to take a drink himself.

OTTO to GUS: (In reference to more whiskey coming in and has glee in his eyes and mischief on his face). "When does the next boat arrive?"

GUS to OTTO: (Sitting there in total happiness says). "Don't worry, I got plenty left from the last shipment!"

OTTO to GUS: (Now, a bit tipsy, picks up the whiskey fifth and takes another drink saying). "Oh, well!"

GUS to OTTO: (As he takes another drink and is 'plastered' and says in a slurring voice). "Boats is wonderful inventions!"

Gus has now just finished off the fifth of whiskey and the two of them are sitting there smiling and a bit 'plastered.'

GUS to OTTO: (Now in a bit slurred voice after they have just polished off the whiskey fifth and smiling happily asks). "How, you feeling now, Otto?"

Otto is now totally 'skunk drunk' as he is removing his slide trombone from the case and is assembling it.

OTTO to GUS: (Feeling totally happy and drunk says). "I feel just like playing a little music."

GUS to OTTO: (Getting up and staggering a bit goes over and gets his "LICORICE STICK" (Obo), as he puts the reed in it says). "Wait a minute, we'll play like old times together."

OTTO to GUS: (Laughing as he is getting ready to play says happily and tipsy). "Good, ha, ha, ha, ha.!"

Gus and Otto are now playing a duet together, bit tipsy, and very much off key but are really enjoying themselves.

It is now very late into the night and Otto is totally "Skunked" and is staggering down the street. He is playing his slide trombone loudly as he is approaching his apartment steps to enter. A bunch of other residents of his apartment complex are opening their windows and shouting at him to be quiet.

MAD APARTMENT RESIDENT to OTTO: (He is shouting out of his window saying madly). "Get away from here, with that thing before I ram it down your throat!"

Otto is now walking back down the apartment complex entrance steps looking around and then he desides to go marching down the street again playing.

Several other irate residents are now thoroughly mad at him and are shouting and telling him to shut up.

ANOTHER MAD APARTMENT RESIDENT to OTTO: (Opening his window and waving his hand at him is shouting). "Hey, cut it out will ya?"

Otto is now walking down the street playing very loudly and off key and has woken up an entire apartment house complex of residents in the middle of the night and shouting at him madly to shut up. One resident even drops a potted plant on him to shut him up.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LOUISE:

She is in Otto's bedroom and in her nightwear, opening the bedroom door, a bit scared and worried. Otto is walking into the room, still drunk, and playing his slide trombone really loud.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (With a worried look on her face and a worried sounding voice as she approaches him and puts her hands on his shoulders). "Where have you been?"

OTTO to LOUISE: (As he puts his trombone down on the bed and still a bit tipsy and in a questionable and slurring voice says). "What?"

LOUISE to OTTO: (Sounding worried as she has her hands on his arms and looking at him caringly says). "I was so worried about you!"

OTTO to LOUISE: (Holding onto his trombone and with a bit of a mad look on his face and "skunked" says). "Oh, I'm all right, can you see, I'm fine!"

Then Otto is staggering in a drunken state as Louise grabs him to keep him from falling down.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (Really worried and concerned about him says ). "Oh, Uncle Otto, be careful!"

Louise is now helping Uncle Otto to his bed. He is laughing in a drunken state as Louise is helping him get ready for bed.

Louise is sitting next to Uncle Otto on his bed and helping in care.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (With a look of happiness on her face, and supportive care in his voice says). "Listen, (Otto: 'What?'), Uncle Otto, I think it is about time you went to bed!"

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (With a really spaced out look on his face says, laughing a tad). "Yeah, yeah!"

Louise is now helping Otto get undressed, by removing his hat, and loosening up his tie. Uncle Otto is saying, with a look of daze on his face and still a tad tipsy, 'hun-hun-hun', as she is helping.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (As she is still sitting by him on his bed and gives him a good-night kiss and says in a loving tone of voice). "Good-night, Uncle Otto."

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (Sitting on his bed, still tipsy and holding onto his slide trombone says in a loving voice). "Good-night Leapshin."

Louise is now leaving Uncle Otto's bedroom, as he puts his trombone on the bed beside him and still "skunked" is trying to remove his shoes, and falls backwards onto the bed.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SOME PEDESTRIANS WALKING PAST THE COSTUME SHOPPE:

Ted is now walking out of the front door of the costume shoppe and notices Otto looking in the window of his store.

TED to OTTO: (In a very upbeat sounding voice and a look of happiness on his face as he extends his hand out to Otto in a handshake of friendship). "Hello, Otto, how are you?"

OTTO to TED: (With happiness in his voice and a happy look on his face as he shakes Teds hand says). "Teddie!"

TED to OTTO: (Very happy and showing glee in his eyes and patting Otto on the shoulder in friendship). "Glad to see ya!"

Ted then pats Uncle Otto once again on the shoulder and shakes his hand in friendship.

Otto has now been away from the shoppe for a week when he has seen Ted.

OTTO to TED: (As they are shaking hands in happiness to see one another and both smiling at each other in total happiess). "How things going?"

TED to OTTO: (Crossing his arms and pointing at the store and saying in an affirmative and reassuring sounding voice). "Fine, fine, I'm puttin' the place back on its feet!"

OTTO to TED: (With a caring look on his face and laughing slightly and with agreement in his voice as he pats Ted on the shoulder). "Ha, ha, the same old Teddie!"

TED to OTTO: (As he takes a quick glance into the shoppe to see if Queenie is not listening). "Say, on the level, what is all this night work you're doing?"

OTTO to TED: (Crossing his hands behind his back and with a serious sounding voice and a serious look on his face says). "I got a job!"

TED to OTTO: (With his arms crossed and with a serious look on his face and slightly squinting his eyes in caringness). "A job, where?"

OTTO to TED: (Pointing in the direction of Gus Klein's restaurant says with a serious look on his face and a tad of sadness in his voice). "I'm a waiter up at Gus Klein's restaurant."

TED to OTTO: (Still with his arms crossed and a worried look on his face and question in his voice says quietly). "A waiter?"

OTTO to TED: (With a look of wonderment on his face and a slightly embarrassed and slightly begging voice). "A waiter, but please don't tell Louise."

Ted then smiles at Otto and shakes his hand and pats him on the shoulder for reassurance.

TED to OTTO: (With a truely reassuring look on his face and reassurance in his voice). "Don't worry, Louise won't find out a thing!"

OTTO to TED: (As he is walking away totally happy at seeing Ted says). "All right, good-bye!"

Ted then puts his hands on his waist and has a perplexed and questionable look on his face and slightly squinting his eyes as he watches Otto leave.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MR. CARLSON AND ANOTHER GENTLEMAN IN MR. SCHMIDTS OFFICE:

MR. CARLSON to HIS LAWYER: (In a very professional and business-like manner says to him). "Louise and he uncle are too proud, I want you to represent yourself as a theatrical producer, and order enough costumes to pay off the whole indebtedness, and give your orders to Ted personally, because he think's he's saving the business!"

LAWYER to MR. CARLSON: (Supporting a stearn look on his face and professionalism in his voice says). "But, Mr. Carlson, your father?"

MR. CARLSON to his LAWYER: (With a determined and helping look on his face and stearness in his voice says). "Never mind, you're my lawyer, too!"

LAWYER to MR. CARLSON: (With a look of question on his face a determination in his voice says). "But, why are you doing this?"

MR. CARLSON to LAWYER: (Mr. Carlson is now looking at Louise's picture on the desk with love in his eyes and love in his voice says in a dreamy sounding voice). "I'll give you three guesses!"

LAWYER to MR. CARLSON: (When the lawyer notices Mr. Carlson looking lovingly at Louise's picture says as he taps Mr. Carlson on the shoulder says). "One, is enough!"

LAWYER to MR. CARLSON: (Tapping him on the shoulder and laughing in a carrying voice says). "Very well, if those are your orders, I'll do as you say!"

MR. CARLSON to LAWYER: (With a look of thankfulness on his face and happiness and love in his voice says). "All right, Furgeson, get busy right now!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE INSIDE A MUMMY SARCOPHAGUS:

All the while Mr. Carlson was talking to his lawyer about helping Louise and her uncle save their business, blabber mouth Queenie is inside the sarcophagus looking out of face part listening in on the entire conversation with a mischievous look on her face and still chewing some gum. Queenie then closes the face of the sarcophagus after Mr. Carlson and his lawyer are done with their conversation so not to be caught evesdropping.

MR. CARLSON to his LAWYER: (As the the lawyer is exiting from the office says in a professional and carrying voice). "And listen, don't forget, give your orders to Ted, he's the tall young man out there!"

LAWYER to MR. CARLSON: (The lawyer has a look of agreement on his face and happiness in his voice as he is exiting into the sales area of the shoppe). "Fare the well!"

Mr. Carlson is now closing the office door, with joy and contentment on his face while Queenie knocks over the sarcophagus and Mr. Carlson is looking at it in total amazement.

QUEENIE to MR. CARLSON: (She is still in the sarcophagus and is pounding on it in a state of panic and says in a garbbled and worried voice as Mr. Carlson is looking at her in total madness). "Let me out, let me out, let me out, I'm stuck, let me out, let me out, let me out!"

Mr. Carlson goes oven and opens the sarcophagus and let's Queenie out. Queenie is now straightening up her hair and wipes her face as she is looking at Mr. Carlson with a determined look on her face at what Mr. Carlson is going to do her.

MR. CARLSON to QUEENIE: (In a total state of ferious madness shouts at her). "What are you doing in there?"

QUEENIE to MR. CARLSON: (As she puts her finger up to her lips and a blank look on her face, still chewing gum says in quiet voice). "Shhh, I'm a mummy, I've been dead 2,000 years and I just woke up!"

Mr. Carlson is now outrageously mad at Queenie and is shaking her in madness.

MR. CARLSON to QUEENIE: (So thoroughly mad with a look of hate on his face still shaking her out of total madness states). "So, you've been listening, hun, you little busy budy, if you tell a sould about this, I'll wring your neck, you understand?"

QUEENIE to MR. CARLSON: (With a look of dazement and mischief on her face and mischief in her hands as she is clutching her hands says). "Go ahead and beat me, I love brutality!"

MR. CARLSON to QUEENIE: (With a begging look on his face and a sound of begging in his voice). "Now, don't tell Louise, please?"

Queenie then shakes her head back and forth as if she is saying to Mr. Carlson I won't.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED AND THE LAWYER:

The lawyer is now approaching Ted, disguised as a Theatrical Producer.

LAWYER to TED: (In a total state of professionalism and a serious look on his face as he is walking up to Ted). "My name is Furgeson, I'm gonna put on several big theatrical productions, I have heard of your fine work."

TED to LAWYER: (Ted then stands up as 'proud as a peacock' straightening the lapel of his suit jacket and says smiling from ear to ear and proudly). "Glad to know ya. You've heard of my work?, I want you to furnish all the costumes."

TED to LAWYER, (Producer): (With a sound of dazement in his voice and a dazed look on his face and laughing joyfully says). "You want me to furnish all the costumes?"

LAWYER to TED: (In a very professional manner as he hands Ted a cheque in advance says). "Well here is a cheque in advance, and I'll be around later to discuss the desires."

TED to LAWYER, (Producer): (With a look of glee on his face and happiness in voice as he slightly laughs). "Is this cheque a good one?"

LAWYER, (Producer) to TED: (Sounding worried says in a professional state). "Why do ask?"

TED to LAWYER, (Producer): (With a mischief look on his face and mischief in his voice as he also slightly laughs). "I'll tell you why I asked, last week a fella gave me this one, look!" (Ted then shows and demonstrates, by stretching it back and forth a 'rubber cheque.'

LAWYER, (Producer) to TED: (Sounding hurt and feeling a bit not trusted says). "This is not that kind of a cheque!"

TED to LAWYER, (Producer): (As the lawyer hands him the cheque and then has a question as he is excited about the costume order). "I hope not,! but, what kind of costumes do you want?"

LAWYER, (Producer) to TED: (With a serious look on his face and a serious sounding voice says). "I haven't time to talk about that now, I'll let you know in due time, there will be more orders later, good day!"

The lawyer, (producer), is now leaving and Ted is in a total state of joy and smiling from ear to ear as he is holding onto and looking at th cheque.

TED to LAWYER, (Producer): (Super happy and in a state of total joy and feeling proud). "Be sure you come back!"

Ted then turns and talks to a lady dummy head.

TED to the LADY DUMMY HEAD: (As he shows her the cheque and in a total state of glee says). "Did you hear?, there will be more orders later, look!, ha-ha."

Ted is now looking for Louise to share the good news with her ---- yells out in total happiness and glee on his face, Louise, Louise!.

Louise is now running down the stairs from her living quarters to see what Ted is all excited about. Ted then jumps up and clicks his heels together in full happiness about the cheque.

LOUISE to TED: (As she just saw him jump with joy and looking at him with a questionable look on her face and question in her voice says). "Are you loosing your mind?"

TED to LOUISE: (Thoroughly happy and shows her the cheque and says). "No, look, look!"

LOUISE to TED: (With a look of sheer happiness on her face and delight in her voice says and she is smiling and looking at the cheque). "Oh, what did you do, sell the business!"

TED to LOUISE (Still in a total state of joy and gleam in his eyes says). "No, I got a great big order from a theatrical man named Furgeson!"

LOUISE to TED: (Questioning the sales agreement but still is awesomely happy and as she puts her hand on Teds shoulder says). "Why, I never heard of him before?"

TED to LOUISE: (With a serious look on his face and waves his hands saying and smiling). "He's new in the game, and we have more orders coming!"

LOUISE to TED: (Thoroughly proud and happy at Teds achievement says as she gives him a kiss on the cheek). "Oh, you're a great business man!"

TED to LOUISE: (Supporting a proud look on his face and is extending his suit coat lapels in pride with a big smile on his face says). "That, I know!, we'll show this Carlson guy something, we're gonna celebrate right now with a great big feed!"

Queenie now enters into the back hall area all happy and with a contented look on her face.

QUEENIE to LOUISE and TED: (With an excited look on her face and excitment in her voice says in general discussion). "Did I hear somebody say we eat?"

TED to QUEENIE: (Crossing his arms and slightly squinting his eyes and looking at her madly says). "Did anybody send for you?"

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (As Louise has a look of joy on her face and Queenie is shouting out in excitement with gleam in her eyes says). "Let's go to Klein's for a great big German feast!"

TED to QUEENIE and LOUISE: (With a worried look on his face and excitement and worry in his voice and waving his hands in disagreement says). "Klein's no we're not going to Kleins. we're not going to Kleins, (Ted then takes the cheque from Louise and is slapping it), this is my party and we're not going to Kleins!"

Queenie and Lousie are going up to Louise's living quarters to get ready to go out to supper and Queenie turns around and sticks her tongue out at Ted.

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (All excited and ignoring what Ted just said says with glee in her eyes). "Let's get ready, we're going to Kleins."

TED to QUEENIE: (Shouting at her madly as she and Louise are going upstairs to get all gussied up as Ted is now slightly panicking). "You're not going to Kleins!"

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (As they finish going upstairs and Queenie is ignoring Ted as she gives him on last mean glare). "Gee honey, I'm so glad we're going to Kleins!"

TED: (Is now in a total state of panic about going to Kleins and is running around in circles looking for the nearest telephone and is shaking at trying to dial it says). "We can't go to Kleins, we can't go to Kleins, Kleins, she picks out Kleins, four million places and she picks out Kleins. How do like that Kleins!"

Ted is now sitting at the front information desk and is frantically dialing the telephone to call Kleins and warn Uncle Otto about them coming!

Uncle Otto answers the telephone at Kleins, "Hello?"

TED to UNCLE OTTO: (With panic in his voice and a worried look on his face says). "Hello Otto, is this you listen, listen to me talk, Lunkhead Queenie has invited Louise up to your place to eat, and I cannot stop her, listen, I'll go along with her, and I'll walk in first and give you the signal to duck, you understand? all right, good-bye!"

Ted then hangs up the telephone and feeling slightly relieved whistles ---- "Shew!"

Uncle Otto hangs up his telephone and shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders as if to say okay, whatever.

Ted is now standing up and putting on his hat as Queenie and Louise are coming in, into the main sales area.

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (All excited about going to Kleins is happily telling Louise about thier bill of fare). "They got the best hot dogs and sauerkraut that you ever tasted, and apple struddle, Oh, boy!" (Queenie then snaps her fingers in joy).

Queenie and Louise are now at the information desk with Ted getting ready to leave.

TED to QUEENIE: (All worried and begging her in a slight state of panic says). "Can't we got to some other place, hun?!"

QUEENIE to TED: (Pointing her finger at him in a bit of madness and her mind totally made up says). "We're going to Kleins, when I make plans, they stay made!"

Ted now has his hands on his waist, sheer madness on his face and in his voice and worried about how to warn Otto.

TED to QUEENIE and LOUSIE: (Thoroughtly disgusted at going Kleins gives both Lousie and Queenie a slight push in disagreement says). "All right, we'll go to Kleins, how do you like that Kleins!"

Ted, Louise and Queenie are now exiting from the store and are now on their way to Kleins.

TED to LOUISE and QUEENIE: (As he is closing the main door of the shoppe says in a mad sounding voice and in general discussion). "We'll take the subway!"

Queenie is now running out front Ted and Louise and totally ignoring what Ted has just said.

QUEENIE: (Shouting and waving her hand says). "Taxi!"

TED to LOUISE: (In a state of dismay says). "Taxi, how do you like that, all right we'll take a taxi cab!"

As Ted is talking to Louise about getting a taxi cab in a slight disagreeable manner, Queenie is now running down the sidewalk shouting). "Taxi, taxi, taxi, then she finally hails a cab."

Ted, Louise, and Queenie are now standing infront of the cab.

QUEENIE to TED: (Shouting at him and looking at him madly says). "Open the door!"

TED to QUEENIE: (Looking at her in total disgust and giving her a slight glare says). "I'll open the door, I've been around, get in!"

Ted gives Queenie a slight push as she is getting into the cab and he helps Louise in politely. After they are in the cab, Ted gets in himself.

TED to the CAB DRIVE: (Giving the cab driver their destination address in a polite tone). "86th Street and 3rd Avenue!"

CAB DRIVER to TED: (In agreement). "I got ya!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED, QUEENIE AND LOUISE IN THE CAB:

TED to QUEENIE: (Looking at her in madness and giving her a slight glare says). "Subway, isn't good enough for ya, you must take a taxi!"

Lousie is sitting by Ted and watching them smiling politely as the are having their discussion.

QUEENIE to TED: (Chewing on her gum stick, giving Ted a look of pure mischief as says and mischief in her eyes and smiling). "Un, hun!"

TED to QUEENIE: (With Louise supporting a bit of a laugh. Ted says to Queenie mad as he replies in a sarcastic voice). "Un, hun!"

As Ted, Queeine, and Louise are riding in the cab on their way to Kleins a fire truck sounds.

TED to LOUISE and QUEENIE: (With excitment in his voice and an excited look on his face as he smiles and says as he asks the cab drive to stop). "Listen, do you hear that, it sounds like a real big fire, excuse me girls!"

Ted the happily and in excitement gets out of the cab to meet with the fire truck.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE ENTRANCE OF THE FIRE BARN:

There are pedestrians standing outside of the fire barn, with the truck ready to leave and Ted is running in to meet with the truck.

Harry, Shemp, and Larry run to get on the fire truck along with Ted.

SHEMP to LARRY and HARRY: (All excited and happy says in general disscussion). "All right, come on!"

SHEMP to TED: (As he sees Ted coming in shouts at Ted excitedly). "Come on Ted, hop on!"

Ted and Harry, Shemp, and Larry are now on board of the fire truck and are rushing to their destination.

TED to the ENGINE DRIVER: (Shouting excitedly). "All right Pete!, give her the gas!"

The fire truck with Harry, Shemp, Larry, and Ted and Pete the driver are now speeding hurriedly to their destination, while pedestrians are rushing in every direction to get to where they are going.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE LITTLE FIREMAN:

He is once again holding onto his hat and running as fast as he can to catch up with the fire truck. Stopping once again to lock the fire barn with the giant lock.

As the Little Fireman was diligently locking up the fire barn and rushing to meet up with the truck there were pedestrians on either side of him and the fire barn laughing at him.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LOUISE AND QUEENIE IN THE CAB:

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (As the two of them are sitting in the back of cab says in a bit of a sarcastic tone of voice). "Well, can you beat that!"

The fire truck is now speeding on towards its destination, down a street that has a traffice light with a "go" sign opened and pedestrians on both sides of the street watching the fire truck, three parked automobiles with a driver getting out of one of the automobiles.

As the fire truck continues on to its destination, the "go" sign has now turned to a "stop" sign. They speed past a building complex that has three different businesses in it:
1: "Tel. Metro 3672."
2: "Loose Leafe Sheets and Binders Stationery Shoppe."
3: "U. S. Hotel."

A total of five automobiles are now going down the street where the fire truck just was. The Little Fireman is still running behind as fast as he can to catch up with the fire truck.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED, SHEMP, HARRY, AND LARRY:

The fire truck is still merrily speeding on towards its destination, when Ted starts to speak.

TED to HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (In general discussion and a bit of a worried look on his face as he looks at Harry). "Have we got enough gasoline in this car?"

HARRY to TED: (With a determined look on his face and determination in his voice says). "I just looked at the tank, the arrow points half way, I don't know if it's half empty of half full."

TED and SHEMP to HARRY: (In disgusted sounding voices with Larry standing behind Harry all mumble in unison). "How do you like that?"

The fire truck still speeding on its way passed a store that read "Raleigh's Pipes and Tobacco," plus the Little Fireman is still running diligently holding onto his hat, is bound and determined to catch up with the fire truck,

The fire truck has now come to its final destination. In front of an apartment complex with a bunch of pedestrians walking past. As the fire truck comes to a screeching hault, Harry, and Larry fall off while Shemp and Ted are grasping tightly onto a ladder so they won't loose their balance.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED AND SHEMP ON THE FIRE TRUCK:

SHEMP to TED: (With a look of dismay on his face and in his voice says). "Who are you shovin'?"

TED to SHEMP: (Totally mad and disgusted shouts to him). "Where's the fire?"

SHEMP to TED: (Raising his hands and a mischief sounding voice and a look of mischief on his face as he smiles to Ted). "We ain't goin' to no fire, we're takin' some dames for a joy ride!"

TED to SHEMP: (With a glare on his face shouts to Shemp madly). "What's that?"

SHEMP to TED: (Laughing and in a total mischief mood says), "Yeah, there's where they live!"

The dames (IN REAL LIFE ARE THEIR WIVES) come running out of their apartment complex yelling and waving in delight.

SHEMP to the DAMES: (Smiling, laughing, and feeling totally mischievous shouts at them from the truck as they are coming). "Hello, honey, how are you honey?"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE DAMES APARTMENT COMPLEX:

THEIR WIVES to the STOOGES: (All totally happy and feeling gleeful shout back to them). "Hello, boys, yoo-hoo!"

The four girls go running happily dow the steps to get on board of the fire truck.

MABEL, (Larry's wife) to BABE, (Shemp's wife): (With a bit of worry in her voice and a look of determination in her voice says). "I hope we don't run out of gas this time!"

BABE to MABLE: (Says with joy and with a smile on her face says). "I want the little one."

Harry is now removing a ladder for the dames, (wives), to climb up on the truck. Shemp is standing there gleefully and Ted is standing there in dismay.

LARRY to HARRY: (With a bit of a question in his voice says to Harry). "I hope my date remembers me!"

SHEMP to HARRY and LARRY: (In general discussion and super happy shaking his fists and clapping his hands in glee says). "All right come on Babe, Hello Babe, oh, Babe you're wearing the new hat I bought you!"

HARRY: (In a total state of happiness and glee shouts delightfully). "Hello, Helen!"

HELEN to HARRY: (As he goes and tries to give her a giant hug and kiss says). "Not now, not now!"

The Stooges are now helping the dames on to the fire truck as they are in a state of total excitement about going on a joy ride.

SHEMP to the DAMES, LARRY, and HARRY: (All happy and excited and clapping his hands in glee and smiling from ear to ear says). "Come on, come on we're goin' take you around for a great time now!"

HARRY to the DAMES: (Saying gleefully and excited): "Take it easy now and don't get hurt now!"

All the while that Shemp, Harry, and Larry are helping the dames get situation comfortably onto the truck, Ted is standing there in dismay watching the whole ordeal. Now that Helen is sitting by Harry, and Babe by Shemp, and Mabel by Larry hugging and kissing happily.

TED to SHEMP: (Shouting at him in wonderment and says). "Say, if you're not going to a fire, take me over to Kleins."

SHEMP to TED: (Waving his hands at him and with a perplexed look on his face and dismay in his voice says). "All right, but you'll miss a good time!"

TED to SHEMP: (With worry on his face and a worried look on his is wondering if he is gonna make it to Kleins to warn Otto before blabber mouth Queenie says). "Ah, never mind about me, I'll take care of myself!"

SHEMP to PETE THE DRIVER: (Pointing his finger in the air and happiness on his face and glee in his voice says). "Take it away, Pete!"

HARRY to PETE: (With a look of glee on his face and joy in his voice says). "Get goin', Pete!"

The fire truck is now on its way, taking Ted to Kleins and The Stooges and their dates for a joy ride. As the truck is speeding away, a bunch of pedestrians are standing on the sidewalk watching.

As the fire truck is on its way to complete its different destinations, the Little Fireman is getting closer on foot, but he temporarily looses his balance and falls. But he gets up to complete catching up with the truck running happily.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE FIRE TRUCK, THE STOOGES, THEIR WIVES AND TED:

The Stooges and their wives are smiling happily have a great time, while Ted is worried about reaching Kleins before blabber mouth Queenie gets there.

HARRY to SHEMP, LARRY, and THEIR WIVES: (In general discussion while they are sitting by their wives giving them adorning looks and feeling really happy and carefree and having the times of their lives says). "Hey, this is the ride of life boys!"

THE STOOGES: (In gleeful voices and glee in their faces are saying). "Yeah, the ride of your life!"

SHEMP to LARRY and HARRY: (Cuts in and waves his hand to calm them down and turns to his wife, Babe and says in a loving state). "Now wait a minute, now Babe come on, let's mush!"

All the while that The Stooges and their wives are acting carefree and happy and having a great time, Ted is watching them and enjoying them having fun.

TED to SHEMP: (In a gleeful mood and a happy look on his face as he waves his hands in happiness says). "What do you mean, wait a minute, do you want that beautiful girl to put her arms around you?"

All the while that Ted is joking around with Shemp, Larry and Harry are lovingly looking at their wives.

SHEMP to TED: (With a look on his face and a sound of lovingness in his that says yes). "I have my moments!"

TED to SHEMP: (Ted totally have fun and is a total state of happiness and mischief and pointing his finger at him in fun says). "Oh, cutie has his moments!"

Larry and Harry are now lovingly and hugging and kissing their wives who are adorningly excepting it. Ted now notices Larry making goo-goo eyes at Mabel and is starting to kiss her.

TED to LARRY: (Now happily joking around with his says). "And, look at this guy!"

Larry has now whispered in Mabel's ear terms of love, and she reaches over and gives him a smack on his face in total disagreement.

While Larry is getting smacked in the face by Mabel. Harry and Shemp and their wives along with Ted are smiling and laughing in total fun.

MABEL to LARRY: (In reference to what he has just whispered into her ear says). "Fresh face!"

Larry after he has been slapped by Mabel, looses his balance and falls off the moving fire truck.

LARRY to MABEL: (As he is trying to drag himself back up on the fire truck says with a worried look on his face). "All right, all right, wait a minute!"

TED to LARRY: (With a look of dismay on his face and dismay on his voice says as he is pulling Larry back up). "Get up!"

The fire truck with The Stooges, their wives, and Ted is going down the road to their different destinations. Ted is still a bit worried if he is going to make it to Kleins before Queenie to warn Mr. Schmidt.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE AND LOUISE:

They are entering Kleins Restaurant, before Ted gets there and are taking a table while Otto is serving a guest at the table right beside them.

LOUISE to QUEENIE: (In reference to Ted wondering where he is at). "He'll be here any minute now!"

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (With a look of mischief on her face, again chewing another gum stick and glee in her eyes says). "Oh, he don't have to hurry, as long as he gets here in time to pay the cheque!"

The truck is on its way to Kleins going dow the street and passing by a hotel named, "Argonaut Hotel", a "Rexall Drug Store", and another hotel named "Hotel Pacific." It has now reached Kleins Restaurant with a bunch of pedestrians on the sidewalk watching it. The fire truck comes to screeching hault and Ted is now getting off, with Larry loosing his balance and Ted helps him back on. Larry is now hugging Mabel. Harry has his arms around Helen and Shemp and Babe and the extra lady are watching Ted leave.

HARRY to TED: (In a pleading voice and a look of plea on his face says). "There you are Ted, but hey, we have an extra girl!"

TED to THE STOOGES and THEIR WIVES: (As he is getting off of the fire truck and still worried about getting to Kleins first says in general discussion to them). "No, no, look out girls, don't forget and don't let the boys make you walk home!"

Ted is now leaving the truck and is going on into Kleins. Larry is hugging Mabel while Shemp and Harry are also hugging thier wives all in a total state of love and happiness.

SHEMP to PETE THE DRIVER: (Pointing his finger in the air and glee in his voice says). "Hey Pete, drive us to Coney Island!"

MABEL, HELEN, and HARRY to TED: (Larry is deeply hugging Mabel, and not noticing what is happening all in happy voices as they wave their hands at Ted says). "Good-bye Ted, good-bye Ted!"

TED to THE STOOGES and THEIR WIVES: (Smiling happily and glee in his voice says). "Good-bye, good-bye!", (he then pats Larry on his leg and says, good-bye there. Larry not letting go of Mabel extends a waving hand to Ted and says, 'good-bye', as Mabel also waves her hand in good-bye!).

SHEMP to BABE: (Looking at her lovingly says). "Hey, give me a lift."

HELEN to TED: (As the truck is starting to leave says in one last attempt to get Ted to come says). "Are you sure you don't want to come along?"

TED to HELEN: (With a thankful look on his face and a thankful sounding voice says). "Yes, I'm sure!"

The truck is now on its way to its final destinatio, Coney Island as Ted watches them leave. The Little Fireman has caught up with Ted as pedestrians are standing on the sidewalk watching.

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (With a look of dismay and madness on his face and a mad sounding voice shouts to him). "Will you leave me alone please?"

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (As he cocks his head and raises his eyebrows and a serious look on his face. He once again tries to remove the same sheet of paper from his suit jacket as before says to Ted). "I have something very important that I want to show you."

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (As Ted madly pushes back the paper into his suit jacket says, giving him a mean look). "Put it back, put it back. You wanna hear a funny noise?"

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (Thinking quizzically over his question and then looks at Ted happily and says). "Yes!"

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (As Ted makes a circle with his hands and crushes his neck says). "Put your neck in there!"

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (As he rubs his neck from the pain and has a sad and painful look on his face says). "I hate you, and I am mad with you!"

The Little Fireman gives Ted a quick mad look. Then he hears a fire truck and he joyfully leaves holding his hat and running down the street to catch up with it. Ted gives him a perplexed look as he is leaving.

Ted is now finally getting to Kleins and hoping that he has still beaten Louise and Queenie to warn Otto.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON CUSTOMER, OTTO, QUEENIE AND LOUISE:

MAD CUSTOMER to OTTO: (With a mad look on his face, and madness in his voice and is shouting at Otto). "Hey old man, didn't I tell you to bring my steak rare?"

OTTO to MAD CUSTOMER: (With a look of care on his face and trying not to sound mad says). "ain't it right yet?"

MAD CUSTOMER to OTTO: (Thoroughly disgusted with hime and the service of the restaurant shouts out in total meaness). "No!, the outta chloroform old relics like you, you're no good for any thing!"

OTTO to MAD CUSTOMER: (With a hurtful look on his face and sadness and apology in his voice says). "Yeah, I guess you're right, I make a mistake, I'm sorry!"

The whole time Uncle Otto is having the disagreement with the customer, Louise is looking at a menu with Queenie. Louise is slightly cocking her head to ge a better hearing of the voice of the waiter.

LOUISE to QUEENIE: (When Louise is certain that she has now recognized the waiter as Uncle Otto says to Queenie in a quiet and hurtful sounding voice says). "That sounds like Uncle Otto?"

Lousie and Queenie are both getting up from the table. Queenie is now trying to hide a tad, with a look of 'I am in trouble again,' on her face. Louise has a hurt look on her face as she is greeted by her Uncle Otto.

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (With a look of love on his face and carryingness in his voice says). "Louise, why Teddie told me."

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (With question and concern in her voice and hurt on her face says carringly as she puts a hand on his shoulder). "Uncle Otto!"

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (In a happy and carrying state says to Louise reassuring her). "I'm all right darling!"

Ted finally enters into Kleins just a tad too late to warn Uncle Otto. But Ted is a bit more relaxed and reassured when he notices that everything is okay betwixt him and Louise.

TED TO QUEENIE: (Giving her a look of sheer madness and has madness in his voice as he shouts to Queenie shaking her slightly). "You see, barrelhead, why I didn't want to bring you here, in the first place!"

QUEENIE to TED: (Shouting back at him in a winy sounding voice). "Why didn't you tell me?"

TED to QUEENIE: (With sarcasm in his voice and a sarcastic look on his face wine's back(. "Why didn't I tell ya, don't make me laugh!"

The whole time that Ted and Queenie were having their tit-for-tat, Uncle Otto was carringly reassuring Louise that he is all right.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (With a look of carryingness on her face and sound of hurt and carrying and worry in her voice says to him quietly). "Please come home with us, we're doing fine in the shoppe now."

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (With happiness on his face and in his voice as he pats Louise on her hands in care says). "I'm glad to here that, but I'm all right here."

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (Really hurt saying in reference to the nasty, mean customer who thoroughly insulted him). "But the way that man talked to you."

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (Slightly laughing and smiles says as he waves his hand). "Oh, oh, I don't pay no attention to that!"

All the while that Louise and Uncle Otto were making amends with one another, Ted was looking over Louise's shoulder in a total state of hurt and rejection.

TED to LOUISE and OTTO: (Thoroughly hurt beyond no end says). "Come on, let's go, I lost my appetite anyhow!"

All the while that Ted and Otto were reassuring Louise that everything was going to be all right, Queenie is standing behind Ted waiting for Ted to knock her block off and a mischievous look on her face).

QUEENIE to TED: (Shouting in a winy voice tone). "I'm hungry!"

TED to QUEENIE: (Giving her a look of dismay and supporting sarcasm in his voice shouts back at her as he slightly shoves her). "I'm hungry?"

MEAN CUSTOMER to UNCLE OTTO: (Shouting and ranting and raving at the top of his lungs says). "Hey, waiter, waiter!"

OTTO to MEAN CUSTOMER: (In an agreeable sounding voice says). "Coming, coming!"

OTTO to LOUISE: (Giving her a look of love and pats her hands in love says). "Good-bye Louise, I see you in da morning!"

TED to LOUISE: (In a very carrying sounding voice and a look of deep concern on his face says). "Come on Louise, let's go, we'll put the feed bag on some other place!"

Ted then carryingly helps Louise exit from the restaurant, as he gives Queenie a disdained look and shoves her towards the exit door.

TED to QUEENIE: (In a total state of sarcasm and squinting at her madly as he pushes her and is mocking her). "I'm hungry!"

Otto is now approaching the same mean and nasty customer that has just insulted him.

OTTO to MEAN CUSTOMER: (In a very professional voice states). "What is it?"

MEAN CUSTOMER to OTTO: (With a mean look on his face and an irate sounding voice as he is complaining about his meal shouts loudly). "The steak's terrible, the bread's stale, the butter's no good, the potatoes are cold!"

OTTO to MEAN CUSTOMER: (Trying to support a professional attitude toward the customer says). "Is everything else all right?"

MEAN CUSTOMER to OTTO: (In response to Otto's question says very nastily and hurtfully as he pats the table). "No, the tablecloth's dirty!"

OTTO to MEAN CUSTOMER: (Otto has just finally lost his temper toward's the mean customer as he throws the food, dishes, silverware and tablecloth at the customer shouts loudly and meanly). "Oh, the tablecloth is dirty, the tablecloth is dirty, all right we fix that right now, now is that better, the tablecloth is dirty." (Otto is now shaking off the tablecloth into the customers lap).

All the while that the mean customer is being rude and nasty to Otto, Gus is standing in the main doorway watching with a mean and hurtful look on his face and his holding a broom.

The mean customer is now getting up in a real furious state and is shaking his fist at Otto ferociously.

MEAN CUSTOMER to OTTO: (Thoroughly perturbed says). "I'll have put out of business for this!"

OTTO to MEAN CUSTOMER: (In a full blown state of rage shouts back at the customer as he is shoving him). "Go outside before I loose my temper!"

Gus is still standing in the doorway totally mad at the customer on how he has treated his friend Otto, takes his broom and hits the customer in the head with it chasing him out of the restaurant.

GUS to MEAN CUSTOMER: (In a total state of rage says as he chasing the customer and hitting him with the broom chasing him away). "You put us out of business, you braunschmidt, swinehardt, low life!"

Gus in now in a full blown state of furiousness as he is chasing the mean and nasty customer out of his restaurant fastly by hitting him hard over the head with the broom several times. Otto has now joined in, holding a napkin in his hand and hitting the customer on the cheek and then hitting him on the back of his head with his fist.

The mean and nasty customer is now gone. Gus and Otto are standing there with deep hurtful looks on their faces and sounds of hurt and unsuccessfulness in their voices.

OTTO to GUS: (Reaches over and pats Gus on his shoulder apologetically and saying in a low voice tone in apology). "I'm sorry Gus, I loose my temper!"

GUS to OTTO: (In a reassuring sounding voice and look of understanding on his face as he pats Otto on the shoulder). "It's all right Otto, I don't blame you!"

OTTO to GUS: (Being mad at himself and has madness and dismay and give up in his voice says). "Couple of fine businessmen we are. My place is gone, and your's is going!"

GUS to OTTO: (Sitting in a chair next to Otto says in agreement to Otto's statement as he is looking at the floor). "Yeah, yeah!"

GUS to OTTO: (Really hurt and forlorned says in a quiet pitch voice). "You remember how mad we was when we landed from the other side, when they told us we could never be president because we wasn't born in the country?"

OTTO to GUS: (Shaking his head in agreement to Gus' statement as he is folding up the tablecloth that he is holding and says mornfully). "Hun, we could be born anyplace, and we'd still be a couple of chumps. You know, this restaurant business that's getting to be a racket, the people, they want something different, New!, Look it!"

Otto is pointing over to a new restaurant that is called "Spaghetti Joe's." The customers are going in by the droves, because the maiter-dee is a tall man that is welcoming the people at the door singing Italian opra as their sales gimmick.

OTTO to GUS: (Patting him happily and says). "Gustoff!"

GUS to OTTO: (As he takes a broken stogie from his shirt pocket and says). "What, she's slows."

OTTO to GUS: (In reference to the Italian Singing Spaghetti Man). "Why couldn't we do something like that!"

Gus then takes a quick look over again at "Spaghetti Joe's."

OTTO to GUS: (With a look of determination on his face and says as he looks around the place says). "You call this place "The Yodel Inn" don't you?"

OTTO to GUS: (With a perplexed look on his face and a determined sounding voice says in wonderment). "Then why don't you put some Swiss atmosphere here!"

GUS to OTTO: (With a look of dismay on his face and a voice that sounds hurt and that he is giving up). "Swiss cheese, is the only atmosphere I can afford!"

OTTO to GUS: (With a look on his face and in his voice as he looks the place of reassurance and don't give up). "Auk, look at your backyard, we can fix that up fancy, we paint fake mountains on the fence, well they'd look like mountains but these fake the we dress up the waiters like mountain climbers.

GUS to OTTO: (With a questionable look on his face and wonderment in his voice as he is agreeing with Otto and feeling a tad more upbeat voice says in reference to what Otto just said). "Fake mountains, oh, imitation, yah, but where are we going to get the Swiss clothes?"

OTTO ot GUS: (Smiling mischievously and with a carrying and detemined look on his face says). "Tonight, when it's dark, I go back to the costume shoppe, I sneak in the back way, well, you leave that to me, I'll get the Swiss clothes."

Gust and Otto then walk to the back of the restaurant with supportive arms around each other.

It is now that night and Otto is now sneaking back into his own costume shoppe, through the back door to get the Swiss clothes. He is looking around to see if anyone is watching. He then pries open the window to a side storage area where his burglar alarm is at. He then steps on the button and gets hit in the head with the mallet, then he gets kicked with the giant shoe and then he sets the rest on it into motion which causes Louise who is asleep in Otto's bed to get hit with the watering cand and she wakes up and goes to see what is going on.

Louise in then wakened up by the water and yells, 'oh,' she then looks out of Otto's bedroom window and notices him spinning around on the turnstable of his own invention.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (Looking out of his window with a look of hurt on her face and question in her voice, shouts in determination). "Uncle Otto, Uncle Otto!"

Louise then hurries down stairs to help her Uncle Otto and to see if he is all right. Uncle Otto is trying to get up but pulls a lever that has activated a large glove device which has hit him in the face.

Uncle Otto is now getting up and seeing stars and has a dazed look on his face and a cookoo bird is chirping in his head.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (He is staggering a bit to regain his balance and Louise who is standing on a landing looking down at him and says in a carrying voice whispers). "Are you hurt?"

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (In a determined state says as he waves his hand). "Auk, no!"

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (With her hand on his arm and looking at him in care and in a carrying voice). "Then what happened?"

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (With mischief in his voice and a mischief look on his face whispers as he smiles). "I've come to rob the shoppe!"

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (In a questionable state says). "To rob the shoppe?"

Otto is now walking up the stairs of a back entrance way to enter the store with Louise by his side.

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (Explaining his "robbery" says quietly and mischievously). "Klein and me thought we'd dress the waiters up in Tyrolean costumes, the restaurant would look more Swiss like, and we could do more business!"

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (With a scared look on her face and a tad madness in her voice and somewhat worried says). "Oh, Uncle Otto!"

Louise is looking behind to see if anyone is watching as the two of them are sneaking into the shoppe through a back window.

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (In a low voice and dismay on his face). "Yah, yah!"

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (In a total state of madness says). "So you decided to steal from here?"

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (With sadness on his face and wonderment in his voice says quietly). "Auk, Louise, that ain't stealing, this is my place, that fellow can't come in here and take this place away from me, he is the thief."

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (Leaning on his shoulder and waving her finger at him and a playful look on her face and a playful, mischievous look on her face says slightly in a stern state). "Now you know it's wrong to take things that don't belong to you!"

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (With a look of defeat on his face and says quietly as he is glancing at the floor). "Yeah, yeah!"

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (In a state of mischief and happiness rests her chin on his shoulder and smiling mischievously). "How many costumes do you want?"

Louise and Otto are both in full happy moods as they sneak into the store to get the Swiss costumes.

Louise is now entering into the store getting the costumes while Uncle Otto is on look out duty.

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (In a total state of joy, with mischief on his face and glee in his eyes says). "Louise, we can us all of those Tyrolean costumes we made for the Turniprind Picnic two years ago."

Uncle Otto is now standing there in a total state of glee and Louise is also totally happy as she is helping him get the costumes.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (In a total state of mischief says to Uncle Otto as she gives him a small kiss). "You're a bad man!"

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (Smiling from ear to ear and gleefully). "Un, hun!"

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (Happily). "I've got 'em!"

Uncle Otto is so thoroughly happy about getting the costumes and sneaking away with them is not paying attention to where he is stepping to exit out the back window, steps on the button that activates his burglar alarm, getting hit in the head with the mallet. He jumps out of the way just in time to void getting hit with the giant shoe.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (As she is in a total state of happiness with the costumes in her hands and is handing them to him says). "Becareful, Uncle Otto!"

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (Both of them laughing says in reference to his burglar alarm). "By golly, you know that works good!"

Louise has just now given Uncle Otto the costumes and puts his hat on his head for him.

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (In a super total state of happiness and glee in his eyes). "Dunkinshain!"

Louise then opens the back door for Uncle Otto both happy and gives him a small peck on his cheek good-bye.

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (Happily). "Good-bye!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED AND MR. CARLSON'S LAWYER:

Ted is standing watching Mr. Carlson's lawyer, (whom Ted still think's he is a theatrical producer), write out another cheque for some mor costume sales, with a lady shopper in the background.

LAWYER, (Producer), to TED: (In a purely professional manner). "Here is another cheque in advance."

TED to the LAWYER, (Producer): (With a quizzical and determined look on his face and a questionable tone of voice says). "Well, don't you think we outta make up some costumes first so you can see?"

LAWYER, (Producer) to TED: (In a stern business-like manner says). "No, no, I prefer to do business my own way."

TED to LAWYER, (Producer): (In a super state of glee and happiness as he picks up some of the things in the shoppe). "Well can I give you a little hat or a pair of shoe buckles or something, it would make me feel better."

LAWYER, (Producer) to TED: (In a total business manner as he is handing Ted the latest deposit cheque says). "Oh, that's all right, Good day!"

TED: (As he is looking at the cheque thoroughly happy and glee in his eyes). "I'm beginning to believe in faries, maybe I'm just good business man."

As Ted is walking away to put the cheque away he is approached by the Little Fireman.

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (With a look of dismay on his face and dismay in his voice and slightly disgusted says). "Oh, here's whispering Willie again!"

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (In a determined state trying once again to take the same piece of paper from his uniform says). "I have something I would really like to show you."

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (In reference to the paper and has a slight look of madness as Ted is pushing the paper back into his jacket). "No, put it back, put it back!"

Ted is now once again being mean to the poor Little Fireman.

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (Ted has a mean look on his face as the Little Fireman has a look of dismay on his face as he raises his eyebrows in question). "Say, do you know what aresenic is?"

The Little Fireman has arm propped on one of his hands, with a finger on his chin, raising his eyebrows and is in a state of thinking trying to figure out the answer to Ted's question.

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (Ted is in a questionable state and the Little Fireman is still thinking). "Arsenic?"

The Little Fireman is smiling at Ted when he has figured out the answer to Ted's question.

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (Being down right mean to him says with a glare in his eyes says as he is patting the Little Fireman on the shoulder says). "Well, come around Wednesday and I'll have a nice big bottle for ya, ha-ha!"

Ted then pats the Little Fireman on the back and leaves in a state of mischief.

The Little Fireman has a hurtful look on his face as he sadly marches away.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON A MOTHER AND HER KID:

The mother is standing there looking at a Santa Clause costume while Junior is standing looking at he with a balloon on the floor in front of him.

JUNIOR to MOTHER: (With happiness in his eyes and mischief on his face says). "Ah, look, mom, I can be a clown and you wanna see me act?"

Junior is now getting down on the floor doing a handstand, and spinning around on his head and on his hands.

The lady is still looking closely to the santa claus costume and an 1800's style ladies costume.

Ted is now approaching the mother to see if he can be of any assistance to her.

TED to JUNIOR: (In a total playful manner as he is laughing and pointing his finger at the balloon). "Ha-ha, what are you doing down there?"

JUNIOR to TED: (Looking at him in a state of wonderment says). Bennie sent me."

TED to JUNIOR: (Laughing and clapping his hands and in a happy state says). "Oh, Bennie sent you!"

TED to the LADY, (Mother): (In a laughing manner asks). "Is that your boy?"

MOTHER, (Lady) to TED: (Shakes her head in happy agreement).

TED to MOTHER, (Lady): (Laughing, and smiling and clapping his hands says). "That's very good standing on the head, ha-ha!"

TED to MOTHER, (Lady): (In a joking and playful mood ask as he is laughing and spinning a finger in circles asks). "Can you do it?"

The mother gives Ted a look of horror and madness.

TED to the MOTHER, (Lady): (Quickly covers his tracks about the joke, he said to her about doing headstands). "But lady, un, what, da, what can I do for ya?"

MOTHER, (Lady) to TED: (Smiling and in business-like manner says). "I was looking for a costume fo junior, he's in a school play!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON A MAN:

A gentleman has just walked into the shoppe in a slight scruffy state. His suit is worn out and slightly dirty, he is wearing a crushed and dirty hat, has a mustache, is smoking a stogie and toting a worn out attaché case.

SCRUFFY MAN: (In a really irate and unruly manner shouts). "Hey, I want service."

TED to the MOTHER, (Lady): (In a very apologetic manner as the two of the notice him says). "I maybe in that school play with him, just look around, you'll find something!"

The mother, (lady), then gives Ted a look of awe as Ted gives her a very apologetic look and says I am really sorry.

Ted is now approaching the mean, irate, dirty, a slightly loonie customer.

TED to SCRUFFY CUSTOMER: (Raising his hands and thinking that he is going to be robbed says in a state of panic). "You can have everything I got with the exception of my pocket knife, that has a corkscrew in it!"

SCRUFFY, (Loonie) CUSTOMER to TED: (Looking around to see if anyone is watching and whispers with a look of dismay on his face says). "Shhh, I'm General Avocado, I am organizing a revolution in San Steveador and I want a General's uniform right away!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED AND GENERAL AVOCADO:

TED to GENERAL AVOCADO, (Lunatic): (Ted has his arms crossed behind his back. trying not to laugh, being as business-like as he can says and he put his finger to his lip thinking asks). "Are you taking an army with you?"

GENERAL AVOCADO to TED: (With a look of seriousness on his face and a blank look in his eyes shouts at the top of his lungs). "Shhh, not so loud!"

TED to GENERAL AVOCADO, (Lunatic): (Smiling and laughing slightly and shouting says and waving his hands and snapping his fingers as if he has just thought of an idea). "All right, all right, say why can't I fix the army out in uniforms too, they can't very well start a war in business suits?"

GENERAL AVOCADO to TED: (In a total state of agreement says as he is slightly smiling says). "That's and idea, but it must be quick!"

TED to GENERAL AVOCADO, (Lunatic): (Playing along with General's game and mustering up all the energy he can think of also, not to laugh at the General and maintained his business stature). "Okay, say we've got everything from "SOUP TO NUTS". I just sent two nice armies over to China,"

GENERAL AVOCADO to TED: (In a very serious voice says). "May Day!"

General Avocado, (Lunatic) is now summonsing for his "army" to come in.

GENERAL AVOCADO to his ARMY: (As he is standing and looking at the main entrance door and shouts in a 'professional' manner for his army). "Marcha ---- gola ---- po ---- vorta ---- vorta ---- bennay ---- bop ---- bologna ---- bop ---- bop ---- bop ---- bop ---- bennay ---- bop ---- bop ---- bop ---- bop ---- bennay ---- bologna!"

Ted and the General are looking at the main entrance as the General's band of (Lunatic) soldiers are walking in.

The General's "Army?" walks in twenty all total. Ranging from the ages of 30 through 60, wearing very worn and tattered business suits, various different hights, some with beards and mustaches, some blurried eyed, some popeyed, some cross-eyed, some with their mouths hanging open, and a few were hunched backed.

TED to GENERAL AVOCADO: (Holding his composure as not crack up, maintaining his business manner in reference to the General's "Army?"): "Hey, what Fraternity do those men belong to? "Scratcha ---- bite-a ---- bite-a?". (Ted then snaps his fingers as if he just came up with a great idea says to the General), "I've got just the thing for those men!"

Then Ted leaves to get the "uiforms" for the "army?"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON JUNIOR AND MOTHER:

The mother is really interested in the 1800's style ladies costume, while Junior is busy at work trying to pop his balloon.

The camera is now on Junior who has taken two runs, and two head flips right onto his balloon but still it hasn't popped yet.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED ENTERING A LARGE DRESSING AREA:

Ted is now entering the dressing room with his arms full of the most osbscure and outrageous styles of "army uniforms" that he could find and tosses them in on big pile on the floor.

The "soldiers" are still standing by the main entrance door glaring into space.

TED to the "SOLDIERS?" (After he has thrown the uniforms on the floor. He then claps his hands summonsing the 'army'). "All right fellas, come and get them now!"

The "Soldiers?" are now making a mad dash into the dressing area and are fighting over the uniforms.

Ted is still in the dressing room while the "Soldiers?" are rushing in for their uniforms and Ted is quickly jumping out of their way as not to get trampled on.

TED to the "ARMY?" (As he has a look on his face of scaredness and wonder says). "Wait a minute, don't rush this thing, there's no game, there's no need of that, there's no need of that, shew ---- charming fellows?"

Ted is now out in the main area of the store and has successfully not been trampled over by the "Army!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE ARMY?:

The "Soldiers?" are now in the dressing area madly fighting over the uniforms, they are in one giant pile on the floor engaging in a fist fight over what uniforms that they want.

CAMERA IS NOW BACK ON JUNIOR:

Junior is now on his third attempt at busting his balloon and has not yet succeeded, he took his fourth try and yet no success, fifth try and no success yet.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED AND THE GENERAL:

Ted is now helping General Avocado try on the most outrageous General's uniform. The hat looks like one's worn by high school marching bands, the coat looks like a man's ski coat with a few metals hooked on it and some window valances on the sleeves and dust mops on the shoulders.

TED to GENERAL AVOCADO: (Still maintaining a pure business-like manner as much as he can but yet is laughing slightly as he is picking up and looking at the metals says). "There, it fits you like a glove, ha, ha, you can tell at a glance that you're the head man. Look at those metals!

General Avocado is now looking at his new uniform and is totally proud of it and feels happy in it as he thanks Ted for it.

The "Soldiers" have just now come out of the dressing room in their "uniforms", the most sorriest looking bunch of men going. The uniforms are mis-matched, dirty, worn out, don't fit right ,the metals are falling off. One has his trousers legs with one tucked inside a boot, the other leg over the boot. Some have their "uniforms" button wrong, sleeves on some are different lenghts, the hats are different styles.

TED to GENERAL AVOCADO: (Still keeping his business composure as best as he can, not cracking up very much as he is smiling and having glee in his eyes says). "See, with that army you can't loose, they'll frighten the enemy away. Awe, it's an inspiring sight, I'd like to go along with ya, bravery is a wonderful thing."

GENERAL AVOCADO, (Lunatic) to TED: (Says with pride in his voice and a look of pride on his face as he says). "My men are the bravest of the brave, they love the roar of the canon, we fear nothing!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON JUNIOR:

Junior is now taking his sixth and successful try at busting his balloon, he takes one last head sping and jump onto the balloon and it finally pops. When the General's "brave soldiers" heres the balloon burst, they run out of the costume shoppe scared and screaming out of their wits.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON HARRY, SHEMP, AND LARRY:

They are entering into a restaurant called "The Elite Café" arguing about who is going to pay the cheque.

HARRY to SHEMP and LARRY: (With a determined look on his face says in reference to who is gonna pay the cheque says). "Wait a minute, let's toss for it!"

LARRY to SHEMP and HARRY: (Larry says to Shemp as they reach into their pockets to get out their coins to flip in a serious voice). "Odd man pays!"

SHEMP to HARRY and LARRY: (In general discussion as they get out their coins and flips them says with a look of wonderment on his face and dismay in his eyes says). "All right, you can't bluff me!"

They are now flipping their coins and Larry and Harry are cheating.

LARRY to SHEMP and HARRY: (In general discussion, Larry is now looking at Shemp with a look of mischief on his face and in his eyes says). "What do you got?"
SHEMP: "Tails!"
HARRY: (With his hand cupped over his coin to "cheat" says). "Heads!"
LARRY: (With his hand cupped over his coin also "cheating" says). "Heads!"

Shemp is now looking at Harry and Larry in wonder and putting his finger to his chin as he is thinking about what they did as they sneaked their coins back into their pockets. Shemp has a sneaking feeling that Harry and Larry were not playing fair.

HARRY to SHEMP: (With Larry by him says with a grimace on his face and in his eyes shouts to him). "You loose!"

LARRY to SHEMP: (With a slight laugh in his voice and mischief in his eyes as he points his finger at Shemp and says). "You're stuck for the lunch!"

Harry and Larry are now entering "The Elite Café while poor Shemp is standing on the sidewalk perplexed and realizing that he has been cheated.

HARRY to LARRY: (As Harry and Larry are entering the Café says in total mischief). "Boy, we gave him a square deal that time."

LARRY to HARRY: (In reference to his statement and is smiling and laughing slightly). "Yes sir, and I am hungry and I am gonna eat my head off!"

As Harry and Larry are now going into the café, Larry accidentally bumps into another customer and apologizes.

SHEMP: (With his finger on his lip and is thinking and has a quizzical look on his face says). "I'm always unlucky, funny I can't win from those two fellas!"

HARRY and LARRY to SHEMP: (Harry and Larry are now looking out of the café's main entrance door and are shouting to poor Shemp). "Hey come on will ya, Hey, come on, will ya?"

SHEMP to LARRY and HARRY: (With a mad look on his face and madness in his voice says in slight hesitation). "I'm paying for it, I can take my time!"

HARRY and LARRY to SHEMP: (As Harry and Larry are still in the café's main entrance are shouting to Shemp making him come in).
HARRY: "I'm hungry!"
LARRY: "We're gonna eat aren't we?"

SHEMP to LARRY and HARRY: (As he stands up on his toes and points a finger in the aire and shouts to them as he is still slightly hesitating about going in shouts to them). "And, I repeat I'm paying for it!"

The Stooges are now entering the café that is a bar type setting and filled with customers.

As the other customers are having their meals Shemp, Harry, and Larry are now entering in.

LARRY and HARRY to SHEMP: (Off camera, and sounding a bit mad shouts at Shemp).
HARRY: "Come on, want me to starve to death?"
SHEMP: "Well I ain't hungry!"
LARRY: "Well, I am!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE AND LOUISE IN THE CAFÉ:

Harry, Shemp, and Larry are now entering the café and they notice Queenie and Louise.

Harry is now entering the café and sees Queenie and says, "Hello, hello," and Queenie says, "Hello, hello, in return and Louise turns and gives them a friendly smile.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE STOOGES:

Harry, Shemp, and Larry are now sitting at the bar and are getting ready to place their orders.

HARRY to the WAITER: (Before he has decided what he wants to order says to him with a gruff look on his face says). "Give me a glass of water, I am hungry!"

SHEMP: (As he is putting on a pair of spectacles says in a happy voice). "And, I'll take the score card."

Larry is now ready to complete his order.

LARRY to the WAITER: (With a look of dismay on his face and points his finger in determination says). "Say, who's the service here?"

WAITER to LARRY: (Says in a very professional state). "What'll you have?"

LARRY to the WAITER: (With a look of seriousness on his face and determination in his voice says). "A ham sandwich."

WAITER to LARRY: (Still in a professional manner says). "What kind?"

LARRY to the WAITER: (Clowning around a bit says mischievously). "Corned Beef!"

WAITER to LARRY: (Trying not to laugh and being as professional as possible asks). "What kind of bread?"

LARRY to the WAITER: (Laughing slightly says). "White on Rye!"

The waiter is still maintaining his professional state now looks at Shemp.

WAITER to SHEMP: "What's yours?"

SHEMP to the WAITER: (Smiling and laughing slightly as he points a finger at the waiter says). "Just dessert!"

WAITER to SHEMP: "What'll it be?"

SHEMP to the WAITER: (With a smile on his face and laughing slightly says). "Bologna and whipped cream!"

The waiter is now acknowledging Harry.

HARRY to the WAITER: (With a stearn look on his face and stearness in his voice says). "And I'll have some liver and milk, and give me a banana split."

SHEMP to HARRY: (With a smile on his and is laughing in a state of devilishness says). "There's only on banana left and it's too old to do the splits!"

HARRY to the WAITER: (With a gruff look on his face a gruffness in his voice regarding his dessert choice change after Shemp has told him about the banana shouts slightly). "All right, give me some bicarbonate of soda."

SHEMP to HARRY: (Smiling, after he has ordered his bicarbonate of soda says). "Now, that makes me hungry!"

SHEMP to the WAITER: (As he rubs his neck and smiles). "I'll have a bowl of soup with some nuts in it."

HARRY to SHEMP: (Giving Shemp a weird look and jokes at him says). "You think of the funniest things to eat."

SHEMP to HARRY: (In a state of seriousness says). "I'm payin', and there's always two sides to every story, ain't there?"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED, QUEENIE AND LOUISE:

Ted is now entering "The Elite Café" as Queenie and Louise are getting up and putting on their gloves and getting ready to leave.

TED to LOUISE and QUEENIE: (In a state of pride as he is fluffing up the lapels on his suit and supporting a huge grin on his face and is slightly laughing says). "Look me over girls, John J. Prosperity, himself, I just got the order to furnish the costumes for the firemans ball, I'm terrific!"

As Ted is telling Queenie and Louise about getting the costume order for the firemans ball, Louise has a really happy look on her face and glee in her voice. Queenie is standing with her eyes slightly rolled back and a look on her face as to say so what.

LOUISE to TED: (Thoroughly happy and pats Ted on the shoulder in glee says). "Oh, that's wonderful!"

TED to LOUSIE: (With a big smile on his face, feeling proud as a peacock as he is fluffing up his suit lapels and laughing slightly says). "And besides the the ball is going to be held at Kleins. That's killing two birds with the same stone, and I guarantee ya, I'll get the stone back!"

QUEENIE to TED: (In response to what Ted has just said about the firemans ball with a look of dismay on her face and mischief in her voice as she is chewing another gum stick says). "You hate yourself don't ya?"

TED to QUEENIE: (With a big smile on his face and a look of happiness on his face and extending his suit lapels and looking at Queenie mischievously says). "Well, I'm waiting?"

QUEENIE to TED: (With a glare in her eyes and mischief on her faces says). "For what?"

TED to QUEENIE: (With a look of wonderment on his face as he is squinting his eyes slightly in question and question in his voice says). "For you to ask me to take you to the firemans ball."

QUEENIE to TED: (Laughing out loudly and pointing at his chest with her fingers says). "Now, I'll tell you one!"

TED to QUEENIE: (With a perplexed look on his face and dismay in his voice says to her slightly mad). "All right, the I'll take Louise."

LOUISE to TED: (Fully happy and has a smile on her face as she pats Ted on the shoulder in agreement says). "Remember, that's a date!"

TED to LOUISE: (In a serious but yet carrying voice and manner says). "Okay!"

TED to LOUISE: (As he is giving Queenie a look as if to say I won and you lost, madness). "A date to remember!"

LOUISE to TED: (In a happy tone of voice and a smile on her face as she is still getting ready to leave says). "Don't forget, Ted."

TED to LOUISE: (As he is looking at the 'score card' to see what he wants to eat says happily and proudly says). "I won't?"

After Ted has invited Louise to the firemans ball, Louise is leaving in a state of joy and Queenie sticks out her tongue slightly mad.

QUEENIE to TED: (In a state of sarcasm as she laughs at him). "ha, ha!"

TED to QUEENIE: (With mischief on his face and joy and slight sign of sarcasm in his voice says). "Ha, ha!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LOUISE, QUEENIE, RESTAURANT MANAGER, CASHIER CLERK:

Louise is holding her cheque in her hand as she is going into her pocketbook for some money.

As Louise is getting ready to hand the cheque and money to the cashier, Mr. Carlson approaches her smiling and starts to take the cheque from her hand.

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (With happiness on his face and joy in his eyes asks in a quiet manner in reference to paying her cheque). "May I?"

As Mr. Carlson is trying to take the cheque from Louise, Louise is holding onto it tightly because she doesn't want him to pay, tears the cheque in two.

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (Looking at Mr. Carlson with glee in her eyes and a smile of her face says in a slight loud and mischievous voice). "Ah, go on Louise, he like's to pay for things."

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (With a hurt and mad look on her face and a slight glare in her eyes). "Like costume shoppes for instance?"

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (In a slight sad voice and care in his eyes as he is holding his half of the cheque says). "But your half is't any good by it's self, looks as though we'll have to get together!"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (In a mad state and hurt in her eyes says). "Aren't you taking alot of things for granite?"

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (As he is holding her wrist and is smiling and in a state of happiness and question says as he puts the two pieces of cheque together). "But see how nicely they fit?"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (With a look of dismay on her face and sarcasm in her voice as she grabs his half of the cheque from his hand says). "I prefer to pay for my own, thank-you!"

The whole time that Lousie and Mr. Carlson were having their tit-for-tat about paying her cheque, Queenie was standing by Louise with a look of disagreement on her face about Louise wanting to pay for her own cheque.

As Louise has now finished paying for her cheque, and she and Queenie are now leaving, Mr. Carlson is giving Louise an adorning look and Queenie is standing there chewing a gum stick and mischief on her face.

Ted is sitting at the bar watching the whole cheque paying incident. Mr. Carlson is looking out the front door as he is standing by the cash register in a total state of love as Louise and Queenie are now gone.

TED to MR. CARLSON: (As Ted has a smile on his face and has turned around in his chair to look at Mr. Carlson says happily). "Hello, Carlson!"

MR. CARLSON to TED: (Smiling). "Hello, Ted."

TED to MR. CARLSON: (Smiling and patting the chair next to him says in carrying manner). "Come on sit down, sit down."

As Mr. Carlson is sitting down in the chair next to Ted, a waiter is approaching Ted.

WAITER to TED: (In a professional manner says). "What are you gonna have?"

TED to the WAITER: (Smiling happily states). "A roast beef sandwich."

The waiter is now turning towards the kitchen and shouts, 'beef on'!

TED: (With a look of dismay as he is looking at Mr. Carlson and pointing a finger at the waiter whispers, 'beef on.'

Ted has now turned in the direction of Mr. Carlson and begins to talk with him in a carrying manner.

TED to MR. CARLSON: (In a carrying voice and a state of friendship as he pats his shoulder). "You know, you're not a bad sort of a fella."

MR. CARLSON to TED: (Smiling and looking at Ted in happiness says). "That's alot coming from you!"

MR. CARLSON to TED: (With a look of sadness on his face and a sad sounding voice says). "You know, I don't want to hurt Louise and her uncle."

TED to MR. CARLSON: (In a low and carrying voice and happiness on his on his face says). "You like her, don't you?"

MR. CARLSON to TED: (With a look of love on his face and love in his eyes and smiling sweetly). "She's marvelous!"

TED to MR. CARLSON: (Looking away from him and a look of wonderment on his face says). "Boy, you're in a tough spot!"

The waiter is now coming back to Ted and is asking him to repeat his order.

WAITER to TED: (In a questionable voice asks). "What did you say you were gonna have?"

TED to the WAITER: (Slightly squinting his eyes at the waiter and has a mad look on his face and madness in his voice as he slightly shouts to the waiter). "A roast beef sandwich!"

The waiter is now once again leaving and shouting at the chef a repeat in Ted's order, 'beef on'!

TED to the WAITER: (As Ted is now thinking that the waiter is an idiot and points his finger at him and slightly mad says). "Beef on!"

All the while that Ted and the waiter are once again confirming Ted's order, Mr. Carlson is sitting there with a "dreamy" look on his face about Louise.

MR. CARLSON to TED: (As he is starring at the floor of the restaurant with sadness in his voice and a hurtful and sad look on his face says). "I'd give anything if she'd go to the ball with me."

TED to MR. CARLSON: (Snapping his fingers and is looking at Mr. Carlson in a true and carrying way says). "Wait a minute, I've invited Louise to the dance with me."

MR. CARLSON to TED: (Looking at him a bit madly and has a questionable sounding voice says). "You have?"

TED to MR. CARLSON: (With a look of friendship on his face and carryingness in his voice as he pats him on the shoulder says). "Now, here is the idea, you and I will wear the same kind of costumes, and we'll switch at the dance."

MR. CARLSON to TED: (With a look of thankfulness on his face and a thankful sounding voice says in friendship). "You mean, I'll wear the same kind of costume as you, and you will let me take your place with Louise?"

TED to MR. CARLSON: (Patting his shoulder and in a total state of happiness). "Certainly!"

MR. CARLSON to TED: (Thoroughly happy and smiling in glee and happiness in his eyes as he has patted Ted on the shoulder says). "Ah, Ted, you're a peach!"

Ted is now giving Mr. Carlson a laugh and smile of friendshipness.

Now, for the third time Ted is being approached by the same waiter in regards to Ted's meal order. As Mr. Carlson is sitting by Ted in a thoroughly happy and "dreamy" state.

TED to the WAITER: (Looking at waiter with squinted eyes, madness on his face thinking this waiter is totally stupid as he points a finger at him) "That roast beef still goes!"

The waiter for the third time shouts to the chef Ted's order 'beef on!'

As Ted is sitting by the out of this world happy Mr. Carlson, the Little Fireman walks in and taps Ted on his shoulder.

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (Looking at him with a perplexed look on his face says). "Don't order roast beef, will ya?"

The Little Fireman smiles, raises his eyebrows and shakes his head in agreement to not order roast beef.

Mr. Carlson and Ted are both looking at the Little Fireman with carrying looks on their faces.

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (Gives him a look of question on his face as he slightly cocks his head and tries once again to pull the same piece of paper from his uniform jacket for the sixth time says). "Please, I have something important that I wanna show you!"

Mr. Carlson is sitting there looking blankly and a bit happy at the Little Fireman has a look of wonderment on his face.

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (Now supporting a mad mood and is squinting at him madly as he pushes the Little Firemans hand and says slightly shouting). "Put it back, put it back!"

The Little Fireman is now leaving, giving Ted a perplexed look and showing hurt in his eyes as he gives Ted a look of grimace and Ted is looking at him madly and Mr. Carlson is looking at him in carryingness.

TED to MR. CARLSON: (Giving Mr. Carlson a look of dumbfoundedness and says in a state of slight madness as he is pointing his finger at the Little Firman). "How do you like that, all day I work with him and he won't leave me alone!"


It is now the night of the Firemans Ball. Guests are arriving, singing, dancing, and laughing in an array of different coloured costumes as the are arriving to the "Newly Remodeled Kleins Restaurant." There is a banner out front that reads "Re-Grand Opening Of Kleins New Yodel Inn, Firemans Ball Tonite."

The Stooges are arriving with their wives and friends are singing, dancing, and shouting with glee as they are arriving on the fire truck ringing the bell and siren in a total state of joy as they are now getting off of the fire truck they are shouting happily at the other guests.

As the guests are arriving, they are being greeted happily and joyfully by Otto Schmidt, dressed in a Tyrolean costume. He is patting the shoulders and shaking the hands of every guest as they ar arriving as he is saying, "Welcome, thanks for coming, hope you enjoy it, have yourself a grand time!"

Louise is not entering in happily dancing and smiling in a total state of glee, wearing a Swiss Maid costume she is then greeted by her happy and excited Uncle.

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (In a really joyous mood as he greets her and they give each other a hug and kiss in happiness says). "Auk, Louise, auk!"

Otto who is now so thoroughly happy and gleeful about the prosperity that this is bringing Kleins is now being approached by Ted, both greeting one another in a full state of glee and happiness and excitement.

TED to UNCLE OTTO: (With Louise standing behind Uncle Otto with her hands on his shoulder, smiling totally happy and in a joyous mood at how happy and excited Uncle Otto is. Ted is now running up greeting Otto in a really happy mood, shaking his hand, patting his on the shoulder, smiling excitedly as he says when he notices the great turn out at Kleins). "Otto, how is it?"

OTTO to TED: (So happy and excited as he is looking around at the prosperity that is now coming to Kleins says). "Oh, Teddie, this is a wonderful opening!"

TED to OTTO: (Feeling truely and happy about things says as he waves his hands around). "A wonderful opening!"

Ted, Otto, and Louise are cheerfully watching as the guests are arriving in joyful moods to the firemans ball. As the guests arrive they are greeted by a hat cheque girl who is using one of Ottos inventions, which is a giant coat and hat remover, two giant claws, on metal swing arms, that is activated by two pull cords, the right claw and pull cord is for the hats, and the left claw and pull cord is for the hats, the hat cheque girl then takes the coats and hats from the claws and puts them on hangers.

UNCLE OTTO to TED: (Totally happy about his hat cheque invention, shouts in glee as he is pointing at it and telling Ted about it says gleefully). "Look it, that's one of my inventions."

TED to OTTO: (Laughing happily and patting him on the shoulder in glee says). "Ha, ha, very good Otto, very good, it does the coat and all."

UNCLE OTTO to TED and LOUISE: (Excited and in a state of happiness and glee and joy takes the two of them by their arms and walks them in says). "Come on Ted, you ain't see nothing yet, come on, I'll show you around in here."

Otto is now personally showing Louise and Ted the insides of "The New Kleins" which has been remodeled to look like the back patio of a Swiss Chalet. The back wall has a mural painted on it of a swiss village with the buildings, and snow covered mountains and trees and skiiers on the mountains. The figurines are those of swiss mountain climbers, climbing ice and snow covered mountains plus there is a replica snow covered ski slope. The side walls are painted with snow covered mountains.

The guests are now inside of Kleins in their array of different costumes are milling around and getting acquainted with one another.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON ONE OF THE WAITERS:

He is dressed in a Tyrolean costume, with a ski pole in his left hand, a tray of food in his right hand, has on a pair of skis with rollers on them. The guests are watching him, (a few of the guests are sitting on the stone walls and enjoying the event.

The waiter is now coming down the slope, and has now reached the bottom and looses his balance and falls down dropping the tray of food and loosing his skis. The guests are roaring with laughter at this. Otto, Louise, Ted, and Queenie are also laughing and enjoying the event.

Louise, Queenie, Otto, and Ted are now enjoying the events of the firemans ball.

TED to OTTO: (Really joyful as he pats Otto on the shoulder, with Louise and Queenie smiling happily by his side as he points his finger and laughs in reference to the skiing event says). "That's a funny thing!"

Shemp who is dressed like a giant baby runs up to Ted.

SHEMP to TED: (As he pats him on the shoulder in happiness and getting his attention says). "Come on Ted, their waintin' for you to do your stuff!"

TED to OTTO: (As he pats Otto happily on the shoulder and is going to the stage area says). "Otto, this is for you."

OTTO to TED: (Happy and claps his hands in glee and smiling joyfully says). "All right, thank you!"

Queenie and Louise are now getting a better location to here Ted perform his song and dance routine.

QUEENIE to LOUISE: (As she happily takes Louise by the arm says). "Come on Louise, let's go see Ted."

Ted is now getting up in front of the guests to sing, dressed like a clown, says I would like to dedicate this song to my good friend Otto. As Ted is performing his song, he is smiling happily and is using hand gestures to describe the song plus he is doing a soft shoe dance to the song.

TED IS NOW SINGING "TWO PAIR OF PANTS:"

"Cheer up, cheer up, buckle up and smile. Don't envy the money king. You've got your inventions, and you got your health, so wealth don't mean a thing. Believe me, don't envy the rich mans wardrobe, two pair of pants with every suit is fine, don't you worry, don't you care, cuz you can only wear one pair of pants at a time. Don't envy the rich old sultan, that has a hundred woman that are devine. As they wait out in the hall, to hear his beck and call, he can only love one at a time. The rich man has twin beds that's true, but after all is said and done, when the shadows creep, at times asleep, he can only sleep in one, and I ain't lieing. Don't worry, just remember, if you got a million, or you got a dime. Don't you worry, don't you care, cuz you can only wear one pair of pants at a time.

QUEENIE, (She is now on stage), Don't envy the rich girls wardrobe, that has furs, and silks that are devine. Don't you worry, don't you care, cuz you can only wear one pair.....(QUEENIE to TED: "Well Ted!" Ted is now laughing and pointing jokingly at Queenie saying in a fun mood). "I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it!"

Ted is now talking to the cheering guests and clowning around with them.

TED to the AUDIENCE: (Laughing and joking and clapping his hand and pointing his fingers gleefully says). "Wait a minute, I didn't mean it. Wait a minute, now. Now I have something new, a surprise, it's a surprise to me, also."

Ted is now looking over at The Stooges, (off camera).

TED to THE STOOGES: (With a look of question on his face and in his voice). "What's that, what's next, what are you, what's the name?"

SHEMP to TED: (Shemp is off camera and shouts back to Ted). "The Gig and Gag Trio."

TED to SHEMP: (With a look of question on his face and pointing his finger at them and asks questionably). "The what"

SHEMP to TED: (With Shemp still off camera shouts back at Ted gleefully). "The Gig and Gaggers!"

The guests are sitting there laughing and shouting and clapping their hands and having a good time. Enjoying the events of the night plus the live entertainment.

Ted is laughing and keeping contact with his audience who is also laughing and having a great time.

TED to the AUDIENCE: (Laughing, clapping his hands, and having a great time says to his audience who is cheering and enjoying themselves. Ted now says to the audience). "I would like to present to you The Gig and Gag Trio."

TED to THE GIG and GAG TRIO: (Clapping his hands and says). "Come on out now, come on out, there they are, there they are!"

The 'Gig and Gag Trio' is now coming on the stage .... which is of course, SHEMP: (Dressed like a giant baby). HARRY: (Dressed like a cowboy). LARRY: (Dressed like a Mexican outlaw).

Shemp raises saying hello, and smiling gleefully, as well and Harry and Larry and they are saying. "Hello, Glen."

TED to SHEMP: (As he extends his hand in a friendship hand shake says). "How are ya, how are ya, how are ya?"

TED to the AUDIENCE: (Gleefully). "Now, may I present to you, 'The Gig and Gag Trio'!"

TED to SHEMP: (After he shakes his hand says). "What's your name, son?"

SHEMP to TED: (With a look of happiness on his face says, slightly laughing). "John O. Davis!"

TED to SHEMP: (Looking perplexed and says questionably). "John O. Davis, what's the O., an initial? What does the O. stand for, "Oscar?, (Shemp, 'Nope'), TED: "Otto?" SHEMP: (Laughing, 'Nope'). TED: then asks, "Oswald?" SHEMP: (Once again still laughing and shaking his negatively says, 'Nope'). TED: (In wonderment asks). "What does it stand for?"

SHEMP to TED: (Looking at him blankly and laughing says). "Sydney."

Ted then slaps Shemp on the face and gently pushes him backwards at his answer for what the O. stood for).

All the while the audience is roaring in laughter.

SHEMP to TED: (Smiling and laughing and waving his hands says). "Come on now, wait a minute, cut it out!"

HARRY to SHEMP: (Wearing a blank look and starring at him says). "Come on, come on, cut it out."

Ted is now pointing a finger at Harry and laughing hysterically.

TED to HARRY: (Laughing gleefully and has a really happy look on his face says). "What da, what da, what is your name?"

HARRY to TED: (Starring at Ted blankly and says in a slow monotone voice). "George Washington!"

TED to HARRY: (Laughing and pointing his finger in glee says). "Oh, you picked out a good name, are you the fella that chopped down the cherry tree?"

HARRY to TED: (Still wearing a blank look and talking in a slow monotone voice says). "No, I ain't worked in a year and a half!"

TED to HARRY: (With his hands on his waist and roaring in laughter says). "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!"

TED to the ENTIRE GIG AND GAG TRIO: (In a state of question). "Are you boys all from the same family?"

GIG and GAG TRIO to TED: (Looking at him seriously and responding in unison in a low monotone voice says). "Yeah, we're all brothers!"

TED to the GIG and GAG TRIO: (In a state of question asks). "You're all brothers, well, who, ah, who is the oldest?"

LARRY to TED: (Looking at him blankly and in a low monotone voice says). "My father!"

TED to LARRY: (Laughing and waving his hands in glee says). "Oh, dad is the oldest, I should have known!"

LARRY to TED: (Pointing his finger at Ted as he is approaching Ted says slightly laughing). "Just a minute now, I got something to say to you!"

TED to LARRY: (Laughing and waving his hands says in question). "Yes?"

LARRY to TED: (Still looking blankly and in a low monotone voice says). "Pick a number from one to ten!"

TED to LARRY: (In a question voice as he is looking at Larry blankly). "Do what?"

LARRY to TED: (Still in the low monotone voice now slightly dragging says). "Take any number from one to ten!"

TED to LARRY: (Gleefully says). "All right, I got it?"

LARRY to TED: (Looking blankly and still in a low monotone voice asks). "What is it?"

TED to LARRY: (Clapping his hands happily and replies). "Seven!"

LARRY to TED: (Jokingly). "Correct!"

TED to LARRY: (In a happy and playful mood and voice says as he is pointing a finger at Larry says). "What, what, wait a minute, wait a minute, do that again. I wasn't watching, go ahead, I'll get it?"

LARRY to TED: (Blank look on his face. Monotone voice and slightly shouting). "Take any number from one to ten!"

TED to LARRY: (Happily). "I have it?"

LARRY to TED: (Excitedly and clapping his hand says). "What is it?"

TED to LARRY: (Laughing and with mischief on his face and in his eyes says). "Two!"

LARRY to TED: (Mischievously). "Correct!"

Ted now has his finger on his chin and a puzzled look on his face trying to figure out what has just happened.

"The Gig and Gag Trio" are now huddled together planning out their next plot.

The audience is roaring with laughter.

Ted after a long moment of thought and they came up from their huddle.

TED to THE GIG and GAG TRIO: (Ted is laughing and they are giving him a dumb look says to Larry). "You take, you take a number from one to ten!"

LARRY to TED: (Shouting in a monotone voice and looking at him blankly). "I got it!"

TED to LARRY: (Looking at Larry stupidly). "What is it?"

LARRY to TED: (Shouting at him a low voice). "Two!"

TED to LARRY: (Laughing and smiling and snapping his fingers says). "I'm wrong, I had four!"

All the while that Ted and Larry were playing their numbers game, Shemp and Harry were standing their smiling and laughing slightly.

Ted now shoves them backwards.

TED to LARRY: (Laughing and snapping his fingers and pushing him says). "Get out of here. Get out of here with that jazz!"

Shemp is now approaching Ted while Harry and Larry are looking at him quizzically and are saying, "That's not funny yeah, you don't get it?"

Now listen, all right here it is as Shemp hands Ted a sheet of paper that was plotted out by the 'Gig and Gag Trio' as their next act.

SHEMP to TED: (Looking at him quizzically and saying mischievously). "All right here it is right from Company A."

TED to SHEMP: (Taking the sheet of paper from Shemp says questionably). "What's that?"

SHEMP to TED: (With a serious look on his face and glee in his eyes says). "That's the reference of recommendation!"

TED to SHEMP: (With a look of dismay on his face and asks him in questionable but yet polite manner). "May I read it?"

SHEMP to TED: (Looking a Ted blankly and replies in a slow monotone voice). "Yeah!"

TED to SHEMP: (As he is examining the letter says blankly). "So, I see!"
Dear Ted: "May I introduce three charming boys, these boys are exceptionally clever, hoping to hear from you again. I remain faithfully yours. Signed: "Yours Truely!" "Who wrote this?"

SHEMP to TED: (Looking at Ted sheepishly and slightly laughing). "I did!"

TED to SHEMP: (As he playfully slaps Shemp in a fun state of madness). "Oh, you idiot quit it!"

SHEMP to TED: (Looking at him quizzically and a laughing slightly). "Wait a minute. Now, all right this is a song!"

TED to SHEMP: (Looking at him quizzically and with his arms crossed). "What song?"

SHEMP to TED: (Looking at him blankly). "My Sweet Nellie!"

SHEMP to the BAND: "Give us a Treb!"

TED to SHEMP: (In question). "A Treb?"

TED to SHEMP: (As Shemp is quesioning the band says). "He'll get it, he'll get it!"

"MY SWEET NELLIE:'' BY: "THE GIG AND GAG TRIO:" (Take One):

As they are singing they have blank looks on their faces. (Ted says while they are singing from "Company A").

"I have a girl name Nellie, and Nellie is as sweet as she can be. Nellie asks my advice on everything, Nellie thinks the world of me ----
SHEMP: (Now is laughing and do a little dance here as he says). "HOTCHA --- MACHA --- HOTCHA!"

Ted now puts his hand on Shemp's mouth to shut him up playfully.

TED to THE GIG and GAG TRIO: (Shemp): (Laughing and clapping his hands playfully says).

TED to the GIG and GAG TRIO: (Laughing, clapping his hands and says playfully). "Cut it out, I'll give you hotcha. I'll give you hotcha, I'll give you hotcha, go ahead, go ahead!"

SHEMP to the BAND: (Pointing a finger at the band and laughing). "Give us a ----"

TED to SHEMP: (With a worried like look on his face and laughing slightly says about the band as he pointing a finger at the band). "He'll get it, he'll get it!"

"MY SWEET NELLIE:'' BY: "THE GIG AND GAG TRIO:" (Take Two):

"I have a girl named Nellie, and Nellie is as sweet as she can be, (Larry is gazzing blankly at the floor and not singing and Harry reaches over to Larry and and says "Pick it up or I'll crack your skull open!"

LARRY to HARRY: (Looking at him quizzically and pointing at his chest says). "Well, I am the star."

Harry then takes a hold of Larry and hits him in the head with his fist and in the mouth with his hand.

TED to HARRY and LARRY: (Laughing and waving his hands to quiet them down). "Here now, here now, un-hun, here boys, here boys, none of that, none of that stuff, all right, I can't help, I can't help, go ahead."

SHEMP to TED: (Laughing and smiling mischievously says). "We're just rehearsing."

TED to SHEMP: (Pointing the to song sheet and looking perplexed says laughingly). "Go ahead, go ahead!"

GIG AND GAG TRIO: "MY SWEET NELLIE:" (Continued):

"Nellie asks my advice on everything, Nellie thinks to world of me ---- (SHEMP: Once again comes in laughing and dancing and clapping his hands and saying ---- "HOTCHA --- MACHA --- HOTCHA!"

Ted reaches over and puts his hand on Shemp's mouth playfully to shut him up.

Harry then gives Shemp a dirty look and shoves him, while Larry is gazzing at the floor blankly.

TED to SHEMP: (All excited and happy and clapping his hands in excitement as he wants to show them how to do "My Sweet Nellie" as he takes the song sheet from Shemp). "Here I'll take that thnig, here give me that thing, here give me that thing, here give me that thing!"

SHEMP to TED: (Looking at Ted happily and asks him sheepishly). "Do you know music?"

TED to SHEMP: (Still all excited and patting the song sheet and waves his hand excitedly shouts to Shemp). "May I, may I correct you?"

SHEMP to TED: (With a total blank look on his face and says slowly). "Yes!"

Harry is starring at Shemp in dazement while Larry is starring blankly at Shemp, Harry, and Ted.

Harry is starring at Shemp in dazement while Larry is starring blankly at Shemp, Harry, and Ted.

"MY SWEET NELLIE: BY: TED HEALY:

TED to the BAND LEADER: (With excitement in his voice and joy in his eyes says). "May I have a treb?"

"I have a girl named Nellie, she's as cute as she can be, Nellie asks my ----

Then Ted does a little soft shoe dance here. Then the Gig and Gag Trio is looking around in wonderment at the floor to see what the grinding noise was.

TED to the GIG and GAG TRIO: (When he is interrupted with them looking around and mumbling about the grinding noise says). "Here boys, here, eyes on the leader here."

"MY SWEET NELLIE:" BY: TED HEALY: (Take Two):

"I have a girl named Nellie, she's as cute as she can be. Nellie asks my advice on everything. Nellie thinks the world ---- (Ted now as he is excitingly points at Shemp and laughs says: "HOTCHA ---- MACHA ---- HOTCHA!").

The Gig and Gag Trio is now looking at Ted with looks of grimace on their faces now go and grab Ted to shut him up about the "HOTCHA ---- MACHA ---- HOTCHA!" Part).

TED to the GIG and GAG TRIO: (As he happily pushes them away says). "Wait a minute, wait a second boys, we don't need any pushing boys, wait a minute, that's all right, that's all right, cut it out, cut it ou!"

HARRY to LARRY: (As he is looking at him madly says). "Quit it!"

SHEMP to TED, HARRY, and LARRY: (With a look of wonder on his face as he claps his hands and is looking on the floor says in general discussion). "Hey, wait a minute now!"

TED to SHEMP: (With a worried look on his face as he puts his arm os Shemps shoulder says slightly laughing). "What da, what's the matter."

SHEMP to TED, LARRY and HARRY: (Shemp with finger on his lip and worried look on his face as he is looking aroung the floor says). "I lost my fraternity pin, I sure did!"

HARRY and LARRY to TED: (With his hands on his hips, and he is putting back on his hat says in a low voice with Shemp still talking, pointing his finger at Ted says). "Go ahead here, finish!"

TED to HARRY: (With a dazed and worried look on his face as he is bending a bit closer to Harry says). "I can't hear you, son!"

Shemp and Larry are standing there with dazed looks on their faces as they are watching Ted and Harry.

HARRY to TED: (With his hands on his waist and wonderment on his face as he is pointing a finger to Ted says). "Finish it!"

Ted is now looking at the sheet music to "My Sweet Nellie" with a worried look on his face as The Gig and Gag Trio are standing beside him. Shemp is looking at the sheet music with Ted, while Harry and Larry are standing there with gazed looks on their faces also looking at the music.

TED to the GIG and GAG TRIO: (With a perplexed look on his face as he is slapping the sheet music says in general discussion says). "I don't understand what the whole thing is, I don't understand it!"

SHEMP to TED: (As Shemp looks at the sheet music and he gives Harry and Larry a quick glance of mischief as Harry and Larry are standing there looking at Ted in wonderment says as Shemp is hitting the sheet music). "Oh, he don't know the 'lye-rics!"

TED to SHEMP: (With a real questionable look on his face and a questionable voice says). "The what?"

SHEMP to TED: (Laughing as Harry and Larry are laughing also). "The 'lye-rics!"

TED to the GIG and GAG TRIO: (With a fully questionable look on his face as he is pointing to the song sheet says). "The lye-rics?"

HARRY to TED: (Harry is rubbing his throat and says in serious voice with his hands on his waist as he explains what Shemp was saying). "Now, he means da larynx, da larynx!"

Now The Gig and Gag Trio gets into a fight about the word 'larynx' to the song.

Shemp turns around to hit Harry on the face with Ted Healy looking at them in a state of dazement.

SHEMP to HARRY: (A tad mad, hits Harry on the face and says mischievously). "I know what I mean!"

HARRY to SHEMP: (With a perplexed and questionable look on his face and he hits Shemp and says). "What are you telling me?"

SHEMP to TED: (As Shemp looks at Ted in a state of madness says). "How do you like this guy, I wrote the song."

SHEMP to HARRY: (As Shemp hits Harry on the face says to him as he is looking at the song sheet). "Who wrote the thing, I wrote thing, guys!"

HARRY to SHEMP: (Mad, as hie hits Shemp on the face says). "Come on, what's the matter with you?"

SHEMP to TED: (He gives Ted a quick glance and then hits Harry on face. Shemp says to Ted). "How do you like that guy?"

HARRY to SHEMP: (Mad, gives Shemp a look of grimace says after Shemp just hit him). "Come, on!"

Harry then gives Shemp a hit on the face out of madness. Then he turns around and hits Larry on the face.

Then a free-for-all fight breaks out where Ted shoves Shemp and Harry is yelling at Larry.

HARRY to LARRY: (Shouting at him and mad). "Come on, did you say something?"

LARRY to HARRY: (Rubbing his sore face says and pointing a finger at him). "No, I didn't say anything!"

Harry and Larry are arguing with each other.

LARRY to HARRY: (Mad and waving his hands at him says). "I'm standing right here in my position and you reach over and hit me."

HARRY to LARRY: (With his hands on his waist looking at Larry madly says). "The point is you should of."

TED to SHEMP: (While Harry and Larry are arguing Ted states). "Yes, this is my song."

Shemp is look at Harry and Larry is waving his arms in madness and shouting at them.

SHEMP to HARRY and LARRY: (Yelling in a perplexed state). "Wait a minute, wait a minute, cut it out!"

LARRY to SHEMP and HARRY: (With a hurt look on his face and is yelling). "Wait a minute here!"

Just as Harry gets ready to hit Larry in the face Ted is yelling at them to shut them up.

The Gig and Gag Trio are still fighting as Ted is shouting at them.

TED to the GIG and GAG TRIO: (Yelling at the top of his lungs with his arms crossed). "Wait a minute, wait a minute boys, wait a minute, stop yelling, stop yelling, please!"

Ted is now referencing to Larry.

TED to LARRY: (In a concerning manner). "You on the end, say here, come here!"

Larry is now slowly walking over to Ted with a blank and dismay look on his face.

TED to LARRY: (In a state of question with his arms crossed and pointing a finger at Larry says). "What da, what do you do, what do you do son?"

LARRY to TED: (In a low dragged out monotone voice says). "I'm a dancer."

TED to LARRY: (With a quizzical look on his face and also in a low monotone voice says). "A what?"

LARRY to TED: (Supporting a blank stare on his face and still in his low, dragged out monotone voice says). "A dancer."

TED to LARRY: (With a quizzical look on his face and question in his voice says). "Oh, you're a dancer!"

LARRY to TED: (In his low, dragged out monotone voice says with a blank stare on his face). "Yeah!"

TED to LARRY: (In a sheepish sounding, questionable tone of voice and touches Larry's shoulder in friendship says). "Are you mad at me?"

LARRY to TED: (With a blank stare on his face and still using his low, dragged out monotone voice says). "No!"

TED to LARRY: (With a look of wonderment on his face and a question in his voice asks). "What da, what kind of dance are you going to do?"

LARRY to TED: (Still supporting that blank stare look on his face and still using his low, dragged out monotone voice says). "The Elevator Dance!"

TED to LARRY: (Clutching his hands and has a questionable look on his face and question in his voice says). "The Elevator Dance?"

LARRY to TED: (With a blank stare on his face and still in his low, dragged out monotone voice says as he slowly pivots around and points a finger and looks at the the floor says). "A little music, and away I'll go."

TED to LARRY: (With a look of wonder on his face. In a slower tone of voice says). "The way you'll go. You mean go about the music?"

Ted now summons the band to play as he steps in the background.

TED to the BAND LEADER: (Pointing his finger and slightly laughing says to the band leader). "Give him a treb!"

Larry is now performing "The Elevator Dance." He is standing there with a sheepish smil on his face, slightly bent over and starriing into nowhere. Harry and Shemp are playing accompament music. Harry is dancing and playing his hands, clapping in a rhythmic manner and clapping on his mouth while he is making fish faces. Shemp is dancing and looking sheepishly as he takes out two sheets of sandpaper from his sock and is rubbing them together that sounds like he is playing on an old "washboard".

Ted is standing there with a perplexed look on his face with his arms crossed and finger on his chin as he is trying to figure out what "The Elevator Dance" is.

Ted has now approached Larry and puts his hand on Larrys shoulder as he summons the band.

TED to the BAND LEADER: (Holding up his hand in a gesture to stop playing says). "Wait a minute!"

TED to the GIG and GAG TRIO: (With a look of dismay and wonder on his face and question in his voice as he holds up his hands in gesture to stop says). "Wait a minute boys, boys, what do, what is this you're doing, what is this you're doing?"

Larry is now looking at Ted in a blank look while Shemp and Harry are looking at Ted in wonderment.

LARRY to TED: (In reference to his question, with a blank look on his face and shouts slightly in his low, dragged out monotone voice says). "The Elevator Dance!"

TED to LARRY : (In a state of question says). "The what?"

LARRY to TED: (Still with a blank look on his face and using his low, dragged out monotone voice and slightly shouts). "The Elevator Dance!"

TED to LARRY: (Still in a questionable state with his hands on his waist says). "The Elevator Dance!"

LARRY to TED: (Still with a blank look on his face and in his low, dragged out monotone voice says slightly laughing). "There's no steps to it!"

All the while that Larry and Ted were having their conversation about "The Elevator Dance" Shemp and Harry were standing there looking on with dismay on their faces.

TED to LARRY: (In a tad of madness and pointing a finger at him says). "I'll give you steps!"

Ted then shoves Larry causing him to fall into Shemp then Shemp falls into Harry.

TED to the GIG and GAG TRIO: (In a slight state of madness as they are laying on the floor as he is pointing at the exit door says). "Get outta here, go ahead, get out of here, go on, go on, get out of here!"

The Gig and Gag Trio are now standing up and exiting from the floor.

The audience is still laughing and giving them lound rounds of applauses.

THIS NOW ENDS OUR PERFORMANCE BY "THE GIG AND GAG TRIO:"

Ted is now addressing the guests who are still giving "The Gig and Gag Trio" a huge round of applause. Holding his hands up in a gesture to listen.

TED to the AUDIENCE: (As he is using hand gestures to have them listen, as they are still applauding "The Gig and Gag Trio"). "Wait a minute now, wait a minute now, wait a minute, wait a minute now. Now folks, now everyone dance, don't forget now, dance, get up."

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE GUESTS:

The guests are now getting up and are dancing to the theme song for "Soup to Nuts."

Ted is now approaching Mr. Carlson, both of them are dressed in the same clown costume. Ted is running up to Mr. Carlson and shaking his hand in friendship and smiling at him in really happy manner.

TED to MR. CARLSON: (With a look of glee and happiness on his face as he is shaking Mr. Carlson's hand in friendship says). "Well, hello!"

MR. CARLSON to TED: (Also in a happy state and shaking Ted's hand friendly and slapping his shoulder in friendly manner says). "Hello, Ted!"

Ted pulls down his face mask and alsop pulls down Mr. Carlsons face mask.

TED to MR. CARLSON: (Both in a thoroughly happy mood as they are patting each others shoulders says). "Well, here we are, two of a kind!"

MR. CARLSON to TED: (Really happy). "Ha-ha-ha!"

TED to MR. CARLSON: (As he is a bit closer to Mr. Carlson and has a carrying look on his face says to Mr. Carlson in a low tone of voice). "Say listen, I have this dance with Louise, there she is over there, (Louise is standing by the back mural wall), and here's where you step in. Wait a minute, you know you got me in a tough spot? What ever you do, will be held against me. "Ha-ha-ha!"

Ted then pats Mr. Carlson on the back friendly and in a jokingly manner

TED to MR. CARLSON: (Smiling happily and glee in his eyes as the two of them both put on their masks pats him on the back says). "Good-luck!"

MR. CARLSON to TED: (In a thoroughly happy mood smiling and patting Ted on the shoulder says). "Thanks Ted!"

Queenie is now approaching Ted looking at Ted with a happy look and chewing another gum stick.

QUEENIE to TED: (In a happy mood asks). "Oh, Ted will you dance with me"

TED to QUEENIE: (Thoroughly happy says and glee in his eyes says). "Why sure, there's nothing like a good old fashioned waltz."

Ted and Queenie are now dancing in an up beat manner as Queenie is dancing briskly.

TED to QUEENIE: (Looking at her perplexed says). "Take it eas girl, just relax."

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON HARRY'S AND HELEN'S FEET:

HARRY to HELEN: (As they are dancing happily and in loving manner says). "What are you laughing at?"

HELEN to HARRY: (Laughing happily). "Those chaps tickle."

HARRY to HELEN: (Says in a sort of a worried manner). "You mean I am annoying you?"

HELEN to HARRY: (Says laughingly). "Hee-hee-hee-hee!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP NOW ON SHEMP'S AND BABE'S FEET:

SHEMP to BABE: (As they are dancing happily together). "It's just the Fox Trot, take your time."

BABE to SHEMP: (Slightly mad and in state of question). "Will you stay off my feet?"

SHEMP to BABE: (In reference to feet and in a thoroughly happy state says). "Well, you're on mine ain't you?"

BABE to SHEMP: (In a happy and gleeful mood says). "Now, I am!"

SHEMP to BABE: (In a loving and happy tone of voice says). "This is your station get off, what have you got, a through ticket to go all the way. Sharpen up on the left turn. There's a nook over there, let's get over in the nook!"

Mr. Carlson is now approaching Louise, who she thinks is Ted.

LOUISE to TED, (Mr. Carlson). (She has a look of happiness on her face and glee in her eyes as she takes Ted, (Mr. Carlson), by the hands and says). "There you are Ted."

MR. CARLSON, (Ted) to LOUISE: (With a smile on his face and joy in his eyes says happily). "Hello!"

MR. CARLSON, (Ted) to LOUSIE: (Looking at Louise in a total state of happiness and question in his voice as he holds her hands asks). "Dance?"

LOUISE to TED, (Mr. Carlson): (Happily and gleefully). "Oh, let's sit this one out?"

Mr. Carlson, (Ted), gives Louise a hand gesture saying all right.

Mr. Carlson, (Ted), are sitting on a bench together.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE AND THE 'REAL TED:'

Ted and Queenie are now happily satcheting together, as they are dancing a man who is dressed like Tarzan steps on Teds foot.

TED to TARZAN: (With a look of madness on his face and hurt in his voice yells out). "Ouch!"

QUEENIE to TARZAN: (Looking at Tarzan with a mad look on her face yells at him). "What do you mean by stepping on my Ted's foot."

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MR. CARLSON, (Ted):

Both Louise and Mr. Carlson, (Ted), have worried looks on their faces. Louise is wondering what is going on. "Ted" is suppose to be with her, but Louise over heard Queenie shout out Teds name.

Ted has now accidentally removed his mask and Louise has noticed.

Both Ted and Queenie are furious at Tarzan for stepping on Ted foot that they have a tit-for-tat with him.

QUEENIE to TARZAN: (With a mad look on her face and mischief in her eyes yells at him regarding to Ted). "Get away, leave him alone you big monkey."

Louise is now thoroughly furious at the whole ordeal that she removes Mr. Carlsons mask to see if it is really Mr. Carlson and she was correct.

Louise is getting thoroughly mad at Mr. Carlson. She grabs her pocketbook from his lap and storms out in a state of outrage.

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (With a look of hurt on his face and sadness is his eyes as he is going after Louise in an apologetic voice says). "Oh, please listen to me Louise, I arranged this with Ted just so I can be near you!"

Louise is now giving Mr. Carlson a look of hate and is frantically and very madly leaving Mr. Carlson at the ball.

Louise is now outside of Kleins in a full bloom state of hurt and madness and has just waved her hand to summons a taxi.

LOUISE to the CAB DRIVER: (As the cab is pulling up to the curb says in a polite voice). "Stop please!"

Lousie is now getting into the cab. Mr. Carlson has just run out of Kleins and has noticed the cab that Louise is in and he goes to get his car and chases after her.

We are now back inside of Kleins where Otto is summonsing the guests to stop dancing and cleare off of the floor.

OTTO to the GUESTS: (Yelling and waving his hands so they can hear him). "Ladies, and Gents, we now have a solo by one of the boys from the firehouse."

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE LITTLE FIREMAN AND HIS XYLAPHONE:

The guests are clapping and cheering for him.

He comes out riding his xylaphone with his head in his hand, slightly 'sleeping' and smiling. He then gets off of the xylaphone and straightens it up a bit and picks up six mallets. He is now showing the mallets to the audience and then he raises his eyebrows and then throws the mallets away over his shoulders.

He now picks up two more different mallets and is dancing and plays across the xylaphone to the end and then plays in the 'air' a bit. He is now returning back to the middle of his xylaphone after he has straightened it up a tad and is smiling and dancing gleefully.

He is now dancing and playing a few cords on the xylaphone and two notes at the end. He gets mad at one of the mallets and tosses it away.

All the while that the Little Fireman is dancing and playing the auidence is clapping and cheering at him.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LOUISE:

She has just now gotten out of the cab and has run mad and hurtfully up the stairs to her apartment.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON A POLICE OFFICER AND A GUY WITH A LIT BIRTHDAY CAKE:

POLICE OFFICER to CAKEMAN: (With worry in his voice and waving his night stick says). "Hey, what have you got there?"

CAKEMAN to the POLICE OFFICER: (In a total state of glee with the lit cake in his hand says). "A, little surprise for the Misses, she's 46 today, we're having a little party."

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LOUISE:

She is now opening her apartment door and running in, in a total state of hurt and dismay.

CAMERA IS NOW BACK ON THE CAKEMAN AND THE POLICE OFFICER:

POLICE OFFICER to the CAKEMAN: (In a happy mood as he is leaving says gleefully). "Well, wish her a happy birthday for me."

CAKEMAN to the POLICE OFFICER: (Super happy says). "Thank you, I will."

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MR. CARLSON IN HIS CAR:

Mr. Carlson is now hurridly getting out of his car and is running up the steps to Louises' apartment, not noticing the man with the lit birthday cake. He bumps into the man with the cake, causing the man to drop the cake and setting the whole apartment complex on fire as well as Mr. Schmidt's Costume Shoppe.

CAKEMAN to MR. CARLSON: (With a worried look on his face and thoroughly mad at Mr. Carlson as he has now dropped the lit birthday cake and setting the entire apartment complex and costume shoppe a blaze is yelling at Mr. Carlson). "Hey!, why don't you look where you're going. Look what you've done! You've spoiled my birthday cake!"

Mr. Carlson is now at Louises' apartment door. Shaking it frantically and knocking hard on it, trying to get Louises' attention and is in a state of hurt.

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (With a look of hurt on his face and sadness in voice says beggingly). "Louise, you have to listen to me."

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (In a total state of hurt and dismay and she is crying shouting back at him through her apartment door). "Oh, go away!"

The cakeman is now running down the apartment complex stairs in a state of total panic as he is trying to put out the fire that was started by the lit birthday cake.

The cakeman is now running around totally scared and is panicking at the fire that was started by the lit cake that is now out of control and is shouting out of the apartement front door frantically). "Oh, fire help! Police! Fire! Fire! Police! Fire!

We are now back at Kleins and the firemans ball. The Little Fireman is now happily playing his xylaphone and dancing in glee.

As the Little Fireman is happily playing and dancing with his xylaphone the fire alarm goes off. The guests are now frantically leaving Kleins. As so are The Stooges. The Stooges threw their wives onto the floor of Kleins and got up a quickly as they could to get onto the fire truck and reach the fire.

As the guests and Shemp, Harry, and Larry are frantically leaving, the Little Fireman is so happily involved with his solo that he doesn't notice what is going on around him.

Ted, Shemp, Harry, and Larry are rushing to get onto the truck and to the fire.

SHEMP to HARRY: (In a frantic state as he trips over his costume shouts to Harry). "Fire!, I wonder where is it?"

HARRY to SHEMP: (In a total state of frantic with panic in his voice also says as he helps Shemp up). "Right down there! Come on! Let's go!"

LARRY to SHEMP and HARRY: (Also in a total state of panic and frantic in his voice and is loosing his balance a bit shouts to them). "Let's go, let's go!"

Ted and The Stooges are now getting aboard the fire truck and are hurridly speeding off to the fire.

SHEMP to the DRIVERS: (In a frantic state and pointing his finger worriedly says). "Get going, get going!"

As Ted, Harry, Shemp, and Larry are speeding off to the fire, the Little Fireman has not yet noticed what has happened and he is still at Kleins alone and happily dancing and playing his xylaphone solo.

Harry, Shemp, Ted, and Larry are still speeding towards the fire and the Little Fireman is still playing and dancing happily alone to his xylaphone solo.

SHEMP, HARRY, LARRY, and TED to the DRIVER: (Shouting in a state of panic and frantic in their voices). "Driver, come on get going, come on hurry!"

The fire truck is rolling along as pedestrians are standing in the streets and on the sidewalks watching.

HARRY to TED, LARRY, and SHEMP: (In a total state of worry and is holding his hat down and is shouting in general discussion). "I've got the whole thing straightened out boys!"

SHEMP to TED, HARRY, and LARRY: (In a state of dazement and a worried look on his face shouts to them in general discussion). "Wait a minute!"

TED to SHEMP: (With Harry and Larry behind him. With a look of worry on his face and slight state of panic in his voice shouts). "What's the matter?"

SHEMP to TED: (With Harry and Larry still behind Ted, asks in a questionable and panic voice in general discussion). "Where is this fire?"

TED to HARRY, SHEMP and LARRY: (In a questionable state and question and panic in his voice says in general discussion). "That's right, where is this fire?"

HARRY to TED and SHEMP: (With a look of wonder on his face and question in his voice states in determination). "I never gave it a thought."

HARRY to LARRY: (Looking at him with a mad look on his face and shouts at him). "Well!?"

LARRY to HARRY: (Also supporting a mad look on his face and yells back to Harry). "I don't know!"

They are now approaching the "A-1 Tailor Shoppe" where a tailor has his pressing iron really hot and it is steaming and two pedestrians are passing the shoppe.

TED to HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (With a look of dismay on his face and slight panic in his voice as he grabs hold of Shemp's arm and shouts to them in general discussion as Ted is pointing to the "A-1 Tailor Shoppe"). "There it is!"

Ted and Harry, Shemp, and Larry are now at the "A-1 Tailor Shoppe" thinking that the steam from the iron is a fire. They come to a screeching hault, grab the hoses and axes and are approaching the "A-1 Tailor Shoppe", they are now breaking open the front window.

TED to HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (In a total state of panic shouts). "Come on, boys!"

The Stooges are now in a total state of panic as they are breaking out the window of the "A-1 Tailor Shoppe" with the poor tailor watching as they still think the iron steam is a fire.

LARRY: (Shouting and frantically dragging fire hoses and panicking shouts). "Come on let's go, hurry, get the hoses over here, get the hoses over here!"

The tailor is now coming to his broken front windo with a suit hanging rack in his hand and is in a total state of madness.

TAILOR to TED, SHEMP, HARRY, and LARRY: (Shouting, stuttering and totally mad shouts). "Hey, what - what's the m-matter with you f-fellas? C-can't a guy p-p-press a pair of p-p-pants ... without the whole fire d-department b-b-buttin' in?"

TED to the TAILOR: (In a really apologetic voice and waving his hands at the tailor apologetically says). "Pardon us, it's our error!"

TED to HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (Feeling a bit dumb, supporting worry and panic in his voice says). "I'm sorry guys."

Ted and The Stooges are now getting back onto the fire truck).

SHEMP, HARRY, and LARRY: (Are mumbiling madly as they are getting back onto the truck).
SHEMP: "I'm sorry fellas!"
HARRY and LARRY: (As they are throwing tailoring equipment onto the sidewalk). "We don't do anything right, this ain't our fire!"

The poor tailor is still standing on the window ledge of his broken shoppe window still with the suit rack in his hand and waving at Ted and The Stooges totally furious.

TAILOR to HARRY, TED, SHEMP, and LARRY: (Still thoroughly in state of outrage shouts at them as he throws his suit hanger onto the sidewalk). "Well, can you--can you b-beat that!"

Ted and The Stooges are now getting back onto the fire truck without any care in helping the tailor clean up this mess.

TAILOR to TED, HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (Still totally outraged and yelling at them at the top of his lungs). "Hey! j-just one m-m-minute!"

The Stooges and Ted are now aboard the fire truck once again and are trying to locate the real fire.

Meanwhile, while all of this was going on, the Little Fireman is still at Kleins happily dancing and playing his xylaphone. He has now finished. He is raising his mallets and smiling, waiting for applause. He is now hunched over and is walking slowly around in a circle noticing that the guests all have left. He suddenly realizes what has happened. He throws down his mallets, grabs hold of his hat and runs out of Kleins and down the streets in search of the fire truck.

The fire truck is now rolling along with Ted, Shemp, Harry, and Larry and the drivers on board, with the bells ringing and the siren blowing in search of the fire.

Guests from the Firemans Ball are standing outside of Kleins Restaurant and shouting and laughing at the Little Fireman as his is running down the street smiling and holding onto his hat looking for the fire truck.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MR. CARLSON:

He is still in front of Louises' apartment door banging on it frantically begging her to open up the door.

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (In a hurtful state and worry in his voice says with slight panic in his voice also). "But I'm crazy about you!"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (Totally mad, crying and shouting at him in madness). "Oh, shut up, and go away!"

The fire is now getting totally out of hand. The flames are now raging up the steps as Mr. Carlson is still outside of Louises' apartment as he is still banging on her door and begging her to listen.

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (With a hurtful sounding voice and wanting her to believe him says begging). "Aw, please, Louise, open the door. I can explain everything!"

The fire truck is still speeding and looking for the fire. The Little Fireman is running down the street hurridly. He accidentally runs into a pedestrian and the two of them fall down onto the street.

The Little Fireman is now getting up and is starting to approach the pedestrian to him, but he is stopped when he has heard the fire truck siren and bells and starts on his merry way down the street looking for the fire truck. The pedestrian that he has knocked down is still sitting in the street and watching with a dazed and hurt look on his face as the Little Fireman is on his merry way.

The fire truck with Ted and The Stooges on it are now finally approaching the fire.

TED to HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (Shouting and pointing in a state of panic says in general discussion). "There it is, there!"

Ted is now pointing at the fire in Schmidt's Costume Shoppe and the con-joined apartment building.

The fire truck comes to a screeching hault, and knocks Mr. Calsons' car down the road. Ted and The Stooges are now getting off the truck in a state of hurry and panic with all of their equipment and rush over to the fire.

TED to HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (Shouting in a frantic state and panic in his voice says). "Okay, here we go. Throw your stream in the east window!, up in that hole! Come on boys!"

Harry is now frantically climbing up a ladder with a hose in his hand and is shouting at one of the drivers of the truck.

HARRY to the DRIVER: (In a total state of frantic and worry on his face is shouting). "Get that water going, will ya? get that water going?"

Larry is now climbing up another ladder with a hose in his hand, which happens to be the same hose that Harry is using.

LARRY to the DRIVER: (As he is climbing up the ladder in a total state of frantic is also shouting at one of the drivers in a state of panic.

LARRY to the DRIVER: (Now up on the ladder and is in a total state of panic shouts). "Hey!", come on, come on!"

Harry and Larry are both now in a total state of panic wanting to put the fire out and they feel they are not getting help quick enough from the drivers on the truck and keep yelling at them to co-operate.

HARRY: (Now up on the ladder and shouting in a state of panic says). "Come on get that water, fill up those hoses with water! hey!"

HARRY to LARRY: (Standing on his ladder and in a frantic state shouts over to Larry in madness and panic says). "Hey!, you Lunkhead! you got the same hose!"

Larry then gives the hose a tug which causes the hose to come out of Harry's hand sending him down his ladder and landing hard onto the ground.

LARRY to HARRY: (In a state of madness and panic pulls the hose from Harry's hand and shouts). "Oh, come on!"

HARRY to LARRY: (Totally mad and with a look of worry on his face says to Larry as he goes flying off of his ladder). "Who are you pulling down on this thing? What's the matter with you?"

Larry has now fallen off of his ladder onto the ground.

Harry is now really panicking about putting the fire out as he is frantically running to the truck.

HARRY to LARRY: (In a full blown state of panic yells worriedly). "Get the other hose!, come on!"

Harry and Larry are now running to the truck to get the other hose.

The fireman are now frantically putting out the fire while a bunch of pedestrians are standing there watching.

Shemp is now approaching the burning costume shoppe and apartment complex in a total state of panic carrying a double nozzled hose.

SHEMP to the DRIVER: (In a total state of frantic and panic is yelling at the top of his lungs). "I'm coming up here to put out the fire, straighten out the line. Hey!, hey!, hey!, hey!, hup-hup-hup!"

Ted is now approaching Shemp is a state of panic and worry.

TED to SHEMP: (As he is approaching Shemp in a questionable state as he asks Shemp). "Hey, hots shots, my hot shots! What's the idea of the two nozzles?"

SHEMP to TED: (With a look of dismay on his face and is slightly laughing says). "I'm in a hurry!"

TED to SHEMP: (Yelling at him and giving him a slight shove says). "Oh, you're in a hurry, how'd ya like that?"

Shemp is now yelling at Ted as Ted is climbing the burning stairs to see if anyone is up there.

SHEMP: (As he is taking his hose and dragging it into the apartment complex doorway says). "What are you standing up there? Give it out there! Come on there!"

Once again the camera is on the burning building and the pedestrians and the on-lookers.

TED and SHEMP: (Shouting in unison and in a state of panic). "All right, come on, get on there get going!"

Harry and Larry are now frantically coming up to the burning building pulling on a hose.

HARRY to a DRIVER: (Shouting with frantic on his face and in a state of panic). "Start that hose!"

LARRY to a DRIVER: (Also with frantic on his face and shouting in a total state of panic). "Turn it on!"

LARRY to HARRY: (In a state of panic shouts). "What's the matter with that hose?"

LARRY to a DRIVER: (Still with a frantic look on his face and in a total state of horrified panic yells). "Let's get a hose in here!"

HARRY to a DRIVER: (Shouting frantically and in panic). "What's the matter with the water?" Help boys, help we need water!"

Harry and Larry are now trying to put out the fire with a hose that is leaking like a sieve.

SHEMP to HARRY and LARRY: (In a total state of furry and madness and panic asks). "Who donated that hose?"

LARRY to HARRY: (In an outrageous state of panic is yelling to Harry furiously). "Ah, what are you doing, choking that thing? Get some water outta there!"

HARRY to a DRIVER: (So furiously mad and panicking out badly shouts). "Shoot that water through, man. Help! boys!"

APARTMENT RESIDENT: (Is stuck in his apartment and is yelling at the top of his lungs in a total state of fear and panic). "Help boys, help! help!"

HARRY: (Shouting in a full state of panic and fear as he is pointing his finger at the burning apartment complex yells). "A voice in distraction!"

LARRY to HARRY: (Shouting outrageously in a full blown state of panic and worry as he is also pointing a finger at the burning apartment complex). "Let's go to the rescue!"

HARRY to LARRY: (Raising his arm and shouting furiously). "Onward!"

Harry and Larry have now dropped their very badly leaking hoses to run and help the resident that is trapped in his apartment and is yelling in panic.

While Harry and Larry were fighting with the badly leaking hose. The Little Fireman has now found the fire and is standing in the leaks holding an umbrella singing and dancing. Like "Gene Kelly" in "Singing In The Rain."

Harry and Larry are now entering the burning apartment complex to help the man that was yelling out for help in distress.

As Harry and Larry were going into the burning apartment complex to help the man in distress, Larry suffered from smoke affixation. Harry is carrying Larry out of the burning building and laying him on the sidewalk.

HARRY to LARRY: (Really worried about Larry as he is carrying him out of the burning apartment complex says to Larry in a carrying tone of voice as he lays him on the sidewalk). "Easy kid, are you hurt? are you hurt kid? I'll take care of ya, easy now, take it easy kid. Are you hurt? talk to me will ya? Talk to me will ya? Come on will ya?, it was in the line of duty. I will see that you get a metal. Only talk to me will ya?"

HARRY to a DRIVER: (With a horrified look on his face and scared about Larry shouts in panic and concern). "Get a doctor will ya?, what are all ya standing there, get a doctor somebody!"

A doctor is now approaching the very hurt and upset Harry and the knocked out Larry.

DOCTOR to HARRY: (Asking in voice of concern says). "What's the matter?"

HARRY to DOCTOR: (Crying and in a really hurt and concerned manner says). "It's my pal, do something for him, will ya?"

The doctor is now bent over the hurt Larry and is listening at his chest for a heart beat.

DOCTOR to HARRY: (The doctor says in a carrying and concerned voice as the hurt Harry is looking at him says). "He's pretty bad, I'm afraid he's done for!"

Larry suddenly comes to and is shouting at both Harry and the doctor.

LARRY to HARRY: (Shouting in concern and panic after he gives the doctor a quick glance shouts). "No, I'm all right!"

HARRY to LARRY: (Shouting at him madly and hits him on the cheek and on the head says). "Lay down, do you wanna make a fool out of the doctor?"

Harry is now getting Larry up with the doctor still by Larry's side.

HARRY to LARRY: (In a mad state after he has found out that Larry is all right is now picking Larry up and shaking him madly after putting Harry through a state of panic smacks him on the forehead and says). "Go on, you. Why don't you do something?"

The doctor is now leaving after he has found out that everything is all right with Larry.

LARRY to HARRY: (Now backing away from Harry and shouts at him in a mad state). "Wait a minute. Can I help it? It must've been something I ate!"

Harry is now in a furious state with Larry after he has found out Larry is all right. Harry is now dragging Larry into the burning apartment complex and telling him to get to work.

HARRY to LARRY: (Thoroughly mad at him shouts as he gives him one more shake). "Well, quit eating celery and get in there and do something will ya?"

Harry and Larry are now once again entering the burning apartment complex.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE LITTLE FIREMAN:

The Little Fireman is now looking in the doorway of the burning apartment complex, still holding his opened umbrella. The Little Fireman then drops his umbrella and is running in the burning apartment complex.

We are now at the back of the burning Schmidt's Costume Shoppe where Uncle Otto has his burglar alarm invention. The firemen are now entering the side window of where the burglar alarm is at.

ONE FIREMAN to SEVERAL FIREMEN: (Is shouting at them in panic to hurry up). "All right boys, right through here. Come on now. Everyone in. Hey boys here we go. Here we go, here we go!"

As the firemen are entering the window by Otto's burglar alarm they are stepping on the eject button and are getting sent on their merry way down the chute by being kicked by the giant shoe. This goes on now for at least half a dozen times with them tripping over each other to get back into the window for another round!

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP:

Shemp is standing inside the burning apartment complex in front of a "No Smoking Sign" enjoying a stogie.

Ted just now comes out of one of the rooms looking for people and says ---- shew! Then he notices Shemp.

TED to SHEMP: (As he sees Shemp standing there and Ted shouts to Shemp madly as he points out the "No Smoking Sing" to Shemp yells). "Say, can't you read that sign? What da ya wanna do, start a fire, how do you like that?"

Ted then takes the stogie from Shemp and throws in on the floor and crushes it out.

We are now at the back of the costume shoppe where Harry and Larry are coming in one direction and Shemp from another direction.

HARRY, SHEMP, and LARRY: (All now in a full blown state of panic are shouting). "Here let's go its in here, let's go boys!"

As The Stooges are trying to help a lady in distress in her apartment. They slip on the burning floor that has been dusted with asbestos and the building is now pretty well engulfed in flames.

Larry, Shemp, and Harry are now getting up as the lady is still in her apartment screaming out in total panic for help.

HARRY to SHEMP: (As he grabs Shemp by the arm madly and is shouting at him in rage). "What's the matter with you, who sent you up here anyway?"

The Stooges are now yelling at one another in a state of rage and panic about helping the lady who is scaredly trapped in her apartment and worried in panic about getting help.

LARRY to SHEMP and HARRY: (Shouting in rage and panic says as he is pointing to the apartment door). "There's the trouble right in that door there!"

HARRY to LARRY and SHEMP: (Yelling in horror and panic says). "Somebody's gotta go in there!"

LARRY to SHEMP and HARRY: (In a stage of panic and outrage is shouting to them). "Somebody bust the door open! That's it!"

HARRY to SHEMP and LARRY: (As he is shouting in panic and chopping the door down with an axe). "Let's go!"

SHEMP to LARRY and HARRY: (As he is standing amongst the flames in total panic is shouting). "All right, get down there boy!"

Larry with the help of Shemp is now attempting to enter the apartment when a gulf of flames comes shooting out and Harry is yelling at the top of his lungs in panic and outrage.

HARRY to SHEMP and LARRY: (Shouting loudly in a horrible state of panic). "Get your face outta that doorway! Look out there!"

LARRY to HARRY and SHEMP: (Yelling at them about who is going to enter the burning apartment to rescue that poor scared and panic lady). "Look out there, a brave man, one of us will have to go in there!"

Shemp and Larry as well as Harry are now shielding their faces from the flames as Harry is setting his axe by the apartment door.

As The Stooges are standing in amongst the flames with that poor horrified and scared to death lady is panicking in her apartment. The Stooges are playing a coin toss game to see who is going in and getting that poor, petrified lady.

HARRY to SHEMP and LARRY: (Shouting and with a look of horror on his face says). "I got it!"

LARRY to HARRY: (As Shemp is standing there really wondering if he's gonna be odd man out once again). "What'll we do?"

HARRY to SHEMP and LARRY: (Looking at Larry and and shouting at both of them in madness and panic). "Let's toss for it!"

LARRY to HARRY: (With Shemp still standing there in a perplexed state). "All right!"

SHEMP to HARRY and LARRY: (In a state of question and a look of dismay on his face as he puts a finger to his chim says). "All right, you can't bluff me."

LARRY to SHEMP and HARRY: (With a look of mischief on his face and a mischievous sounding voice says). "All right with me, let's toss for it, got a coin?"

HARRY to SHEMP and LARRY: (With a look of wonderment on his face and mischief in his voice says). "All right, all right, at me boys!"

Shemp, Larry, and Harry are now tossing their coins. Before I give you the results of the coin toss. I'll give you just one guess who looses -- BINGO! poor Shemp once again!

We are now coming up with the results of the coin toss.

Harry first asks Shemp yelling what have you got. SHEMP: "Tails." Larry and Harry both look at each other and respond in unison, (cheating once again), respond in unison with mad looks on their faces and a madness in their voices. "Heads!"

Shemp is now trying to look at Harry and Larry's coins before they hid them to see if that Larry and Harry were on the level. As usual Larry and Harry were cheating.

HARRY to SHEMP: (With a look of madness on his face and shouting madly says). "You loose!"

LARRY to SHEMP: (With a look of dismay on his face and determination in his voice says as he opens the door for Shemp). "Go in."

HARRY to SHEMP: (In a total state of mischief says). "We gave you a square deal that time, go in boy!"

SHEMP to HARRY: (As he is entering the apartment says in madness, with a finger on his lip, knowing that Larry and Harry have cheated). "Yes, I know, you did!"

Shemp is now finally getting the poor frantic and petrified lady from her apartment.

LARRY to SHEMP: (Shouting at him in a tad happy but still panic voice says). "Here, we'll be waitin' out here!"

HARRY to LARRY: (In regards to Shemp in a state of proudness). "Look at him come!"

LARRY to SHEMP: (In a total state of proudness about Shemp). "Ah, here he comes!"

HARRY to SHEMP: (Shouting and proud of Shemp). "Company A rules."

LARRY to SHEMP: (Clapping his hands and shouting in happiness and proud of his says). "He's got her, he's got her, he's got her, he's got her!"

As Shemp and the lady are coming out of her apartment she is totally fine and is walking out with a limp and passed out Shemp over her shoulder and then tosses him on the floor.

LARRY to LADY: (In a very concerned and carrying voice says). "Are you all right lady?"

LADY to LARRY and HARRY: (In a state of wonderment and a carrying voice says). "You'll take care of him, I'll take care of myself!"

The lady the straightens up her hair and walks out of the burning apartment.

Harry and Larry are now approaching Shemp as he is getting up off of the floor and Larry and Harry are grabbing at him and shouting at him madly as they are dragging him out of the burning apartment complex with them.

HARRY to SHEMP: (Furiously mad at him and hits him in the head says). "Well, can you beat ---- ."

LARRY to SHEMP: (Also in a total state of madness and fury is shouting at him). "Well, how do you like that?"

HARRY to SHEMP: (Still outrageously mad at him). "What are you doing?, come on, come on!"

LARRY to SHEMP: (In a total state of madness and panic shouts at him as he hits Shemp in the face). "All rightm come here, don't you know anything?"

HARRY to SHEMP: (Mad beyond no end and panicking says). "Let's get out of here, get out of here!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE STILL BURNING COSTUME SHOPPE:

Schmidt's Costume Shoppe is still engulfed with flames and the firemen ar trying to put it out and pedestrians are still standing in the street watching.

We are now in a room where there are a bunch of gentlemen are sitting at a table playing poker with flames all around them and not seeming to care. Ted, Shemp, and Harry are furiously trying to put out the fire and looking for residents that still might be trapped in their apartments. Harry is chopping at a door with an axe.

Ted is shouting in a state of panic, while Harry and Larry are running to and fro like chickens with their heads off trying to get the hose into the apartment complex.

TED to HARRY, SHEMP and LARRY: (In a frantic and panicking state is yelling at them). "Carry on boys, bring that hose in boys, come on, come on, bring that hose in now, bring that hose in here, bring it in now, that's right in here!"

Shemp, Harry and Larry are now entering the main part of the shoppe with their hoses, as Ted is leaving the main part of the shoppe and he is talking to the poker party.

TED to the POKER PARTY: (In a state of worry and panic and frantic in his voice says). "Come on boys!"

POKER PARTY to TED: (When on of the members passes out from smoke affixation and in a total state of fear, worry, and panic says). "He's out, what'll we do now?"

The poker party is sitting in a room that is pretty well engulfed with smoke and flames and one member has passed out from smoke affixation.

TED to POKER MEMBER: (In sort of a mischief mood says as everyone is sitting amongst flames, in reference to his statement). "The best thing to do is to take out the duces and trés!"

POKER MEMBER to TED: (As they are still sitting there with the flames bellowing all around them, with one member passed out says shouting). "Okay!"

Ted is now entering into the main area of the shoppe in a total state of fear and panic. The poker party has now also left the burning building.

Mr. Carlson is still in front of Louises' apartment door, pretty well weak now from breathing in smoke and flames all around him. He pounding still on her door in a weak state and is slightly falling down and still trying to get her attention.

Ted has now raced up the burning stairs to Mr. Carlson who is still in front of Louises' door very weak from breathing in smoke.

TED to MR. CARLSON: (Shouting in a state of panic and fear and worry). "Hey, come on, come on get out of here, the joint's on fire, what's the matter with you. Are you crazy the whole joint's on fire!"

Ted is now carrying the badly sick Mr. Carlson down the burning apartment steps over his shoulder out to the street and is gently laying him down on the street.

OTHER RESIDENTS: (Are now saying in happiness and is cheering Ted as they see Ted bringing Mr. Carlson out to safety). "There's someone, oh, there he comes, here he comes, he has rescued him!"

Ted is now outside with the badly sick Mr. Carlson.

TED: (Shouting in worry and panic as he is carrying Mr. Carlson out of the burning apartment complex). "Hey!. Get the pulmotor here! Hurry!"

TED to DOCTOR: (In a very outraged state of panic is shouting furiously with fear on his face). "Hey, get a pulmotor! get a pulmotor!"

TED to the ONLOOKERS: (Shouting in panic and fear and with horror on his face shouts). "Stand back there, will ya? Stand back! stand back, what's the matter with you?"

Mr. Carlson has now come too and is sitting up in a state of worry and panic and with panic in his voice as he gets up and runs back into the burning apartment complex.

MR. CARLSON: (In a total state of panic shouts). "Louise!!!!!!!!"

Ted is now leaving the on-lookers when he has realized that Mr. Carlson has run back into the burning apartment complex for Louise.

TED: (In a state of worry and panic and with panic on his face as he is watching Mr. Carlson enter back into the building). "Well, how do you like that? How do----?"

Ted is now approached by a paramedic who is putting an oxygen mask on his mouth.

PARAMEDIC to TED: (As Ted is fighting the oxygen mask says to Ted in carrying manner and a calm voice). "That's all right, I'll take care of it. That's all right. Hold still a minute, hold still a minute, let me fix it, let me fix it!"

Ted is now frantically fighting with the paramedic and him putting the oxygen mask on his mouth when he doesn't need it.

TED to the PARAMEDIC: (Shouting in a state of furry and madness as he has finally gotten the oxygen mask off of his face and pointing into the burning apartment complex says). "It ain't me, it ain't me that's sick, the guy that's sick went that way, I gotta get him!"

Ted is now once again rushing into the burning apartment complex to once again get the madly in love Mr. Carlson.

TED to MR. CARLSON: (With a mad look on his face and panic and fear in his voice is shouting at him in total outrage). "Say, make up your mind. I'm not your personal fireman. This time I take you out, stay out. Come here you!"

Ted is now once again carrying out the badly sick, and madly in love Mr. Carlson over his shoulder out of the burning apartment complex. Once again Ted is laying him carefully on the sidewalk.

TED: (In reference to getting Mr. Carlson again). "How do you like that, second time for this guy! That's it, how do you like that?"

A bunch of on-lookers are saying in glee. "This is the second time for him, glad to see he's all right, that is one brave man!"

TED to the PARAMEDIC: (In a total state of furry and panic on his face and in his voice as he is gesturing for a paramedic to come forward). "Hey, get that pulmotor! Him! He's the guy!"

Ted is now laying the really sick and weak Mr. Carlson onto the street gently and in a state of worry as two paramedics are approaching him to help him.

PARAMEDICS to RESIDENTS: (Shouting in a state of panic a gesturing with their hands for them to get back says). "Back up, give him air. Give him air. Give him air, come on, get back, get back, come on, get back!"

Ted is now rushing frantically back into the burning apartment complex where he finds Louise who is pretty weak from smoke affixation and is limply standing outside her apartment door, atempting to rescue herself.

TED to LOUISE: (As he is frantically running up the stairs to her and shouting in outrage and in a state of panic). "Wait a minute, don't worry Louise. I got you, I got you, it's all right, don't worry now. I work in piece work. You know that don't you?"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE FIREMEN FIGHTING THE FIRE:

Ted is now gently carrying the badly sick Louise over his shoulder down the burning apartment steps on to the street while other fire fighters are still frantically fighting with the out of control burning shoppe.

PARAMEDICS to ON-LOOKERS: (In a state of panic and worry and totally horrified shouts). "Back up now! Keep back! Get back! Give him room there, folks. Give him room!"

A bunch of on-lookers are now looking at the badly sick Louise and Mr. Carlson as they are laying on the street.

A RESIDENT: (In general discussion and supporting a state of care says in regards to Louise and Mr. Carlson). "Is he all right?" "Is she okay?"

POLICE to ON-LOOKERS: (In a state of panic and worry is still shouting at them). "Stand back there! stand back there!"

Ted has now gone back into the burning buildings to see if there are any more people left.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP AND HARRY AND THE BURNING BUILDING:

SHEMP to ON-LOOKERS: (Now yelling in a state of panic and furry to the on-lookers as he is pushing them back with his hands as the entire front of the costume shoppe comes crashing down to the ground). "Stand back now, get out of the way, get back, get back!"

Residents are standing outside of the badly burning building screaming in a thorough state of panic and terror.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE MAIN ENTRANCE DOOR, LOUISE AND MR. CARLSON:

Mr. Carlson is now fully recovered and is getting up and approaching the free standing door.

Mr. Carlson is now banging frantically on one side of the free standing door.

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (As he is pounding on the door frantically and worried on one side of the door is yelling). "Louise, Louise, let me in!"

Louise is now fully recovered and sitting on the street on the other side of the free standing door.

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (In a happy state and smiling says, still a tad mad). "All right, come on in."

Mr. Carlson is now opening, with a tad of trouble, his side of the free standing door and is approaching Louise.

MR. CARLSON to LOUISE: (As he comes to her through the door and carryingly helps her up asks her in a very gentle and loving voice with a smile on his face). "Are you all right?"

LOUISE to MR. CARLSON: (Also in a carrying manner and a supportive and loving voice and smiling sweetly says). "Yes, and you?"

Ted is now coming out of the burning building and is being approached by the Little Fireman once again.

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (As he puts his hands on his shoulder and is showing a state of worry on his face and showing care in his voice says). "What are you doing here? Are you a fireman, well where's you badge?"

The Little Fireman with a look of glee on his face, answers positive to all of Teds questions with a smile on his face and glee in his eyes and spreads his arms apart and pops out his badge from underneath his suit collar.

Ted is now engulfed by flames and runs into a portion of the building that has the least flames and shouts ----'Whoo'!

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON QUEENIE, OTTO, LOUISE AND MR. CARLSON:

Mr. Carlson is holding Louise in a loving manner as Louise is looking at the street with a very sad and hurtful look on her face. Queenie is looking at the burning costume shoppe in a state of worry. Poor Uncle Otto is looking at his totally burnt down costume shoppe in horror.

QUEENIE to OTTO, LOUISE, and MR. CARLSON: (She is just noticing what building is now burnt down and says to them in general discussion and a perplexed look on her face and sorry in her voice, as she is chewing on a gum stick). "Gee, it's the costume shoppe!"

Otto is now turning around to look and see what other damage might have taken place and he notices Louise with Mr. Carlson standing behind her.

UNCLE OTTO to LOUISE: (In a thoroughly happy manner. With a look of joy on his face and joy in his voice as he hugs Louise says). "Louise, are you all right?"

LOUISE to UNCLE OTTO: (In a worried and hurtful manner as she is putting her hands on his shoulders in a carrying manner and says in a tone of hurt). "Uncle Otto, the costume shoppe is gone!"

Uncle Otto is now standing there with his hands on Louises' arms in a state of carryingness, with Queenie standing behind him. Mr. Carlson is now standing behind Louise with his hands on her shoulders in a loving manner.

MR. CARLSON to UNCLE OTTO: (In a carrying manner with a look of care on his face and in a voice of care as he puts his hand on Ottos' shoulder says). "Don't worry Mr. Schmidt, I had the place insured in your name!"

UNCLE OTTO to MR. CARLSON: (In a thoroughly happy mood. With a look of glee in his eyes and and glee in his voice says as he shakes Mr. Carlsons' hand). "In my name?"

QUEENIE to UNCLE OTTO and LOUISE: (In a total state of happiness and glee in her eyes and glee in her voice says). "Yes, and the man who bought all of the costumes from Ted was Richard's lawyer."

Uncle Otto went over to Mr. Carlson and gave him a great big thank you hand shake, with Louise and Queenie standing there with big smiles on their faces.

Ted is now running down the burning apartment complex stairs for the final time now that every resident has been rescued safely.

TED: (As he is running out of the burning building holding his breath and has now reached outside takes a deep breath in panic and shouts). "Oh, boy."

As Ted is now outside and able to breath again, he is approached by the Little Fireman.

LITTEL FIREMAN to TED: (As he once again tries to show Ted the piece of paper in his suit jacket. He cocks his head slightly, and raises his eyebrows and says). "Please, I have somehting important that I would like to show you, please?"

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (Disgusted with him at presenting that piece of paper at him so much says as he throws in into the burning building with a look of madness on his face says). "Give me that thing, will ya? See it, Look?!"

The Little Fireman is now giving Ted a look of surprise and sadness as Ted has thrown his paper into the burning building.

Ted is now running in one direction as the Little Fireman goes into the burning building after his piece of paper.

FEATURE ENDING: (Part One):

Ted is running up to Queenie while Louise and Mr. Carlson are hugging and making goo-goo eyes at each other in total love. Uncle Otto is now happy for both Louise and Mr. Carlson as he pats them on their shoulders in carryingness. Gus is now running up to Uncle Otton hurridly.

QUEENIE to TED: (In a voice of love and care in her eyes as she gives Ted a hug says). "Oh, Ted, are you all right?"

TED to QUEENIE: (Smiling from ear to ear in complete joy says proudly as he is pointing a finger of glee at the remains of the burnt building says). "Whew ---- oh, at last I've been in a real fire!"

QUEENIE to TED: (Also in a full state of happiness and glee in her eyes and in her voice as she is lovingly hugging Ted). "Gee, I'm so glad you weren't hurt."

TED to QUEENIE: (Turely proud of himself says as he is waving his hands and pointing at the fire remains says). "That was a pip!"

Gus is now approaching Otto and whispers in his ear that he wants to talk to him.

UNCLE OTTO to GUS: (In a state of worry about his entire costume shoppe being gone. As Otto is looking at the street in sadness says). "Look it, Gus!"

OTTO to GUS: (In a slightly bad mood and worry in his voice as he is shouting at Gus madly). "Well, what is it? What do you want?"

GUS to OTTO: (In a really happy voice and glee in his eyes and glee in his voice whispers in Ottos' ear). "My Son-In-Laws boat came in with a shipment and I got a new supply!"

OTTO to GUS: (Now forgetting all about loosing his business and laughing joyfully says as he pats Gus on the shoulder says). "Ahhh, well, let's go!"

FINAL CONCLUSION OF THE FEATURE:

Gus and Otto are now leaving for Gus' Restaurant to enjoy a fifth of whiskey together. Otto is now collecting the insurance money for the loss of his costume business. Queenie is now hugging Ted in real love. Louise and Mr. Carlson are hugging each other in true love and giving each other goo-goo eyes. Shemp, Harry, and Larry are now approaching the fire truck to celebrate.

HARRY and LARRY: (Shouting in total joy and glee in their voices as they are approaching the fire truck and climbing on board says). "All right, all aboard let's go!"

SHEMP to TED: (Before he gets on board says to Ted in a total state of glee says). "Hey Ted! You coming along?, you here those bells? are you coming along?"

QUEENIE to SHEMP: (In regards to his invitation about joining the fire truck bells in celebration says as she is hugging Ted). "The only bells he's going to listen to from now on, are wedding bells!"

LARRY to TED: (In a state of happiness and pats him on the shoulder in friendship says). "Wish you luck!"

HARRY to TED: (In a total serious state and concern in his voice says as he shakes Teds hand in friendship). "You'll need it!"

SHEMP to PETE THE DRIVER: (In a joyous state as he points his finger in the air says). "Onward boys!"

SHEMP, HARRY, and LARRY: (In unison and happy looks on their faces and joy in their voices says). "Onward, let's go, come on let's go, let's celebrate come on!"

Ted is now lovingly holding Queenie and looking at her adorningly and in a state of true love. While Louise and Mr. Carlson are standing face to face holding each other's hands lovingly and hugging each other in full blown love and carryingness.

The Little Fireman is now approaching Ted with one final, and hopeful attempt to show Ted what is on the piece of paper that he has been trying to show Ted throughout the entire feature.

LITTLE FIREMAN to TED: (Cocking his head, and raising his eyebrows and a pleading look on his face and begging in his eyes and asking). "Please let me show you what is on my piece of paper, please?"

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (Has decided to show a bit of kindness to him, and has decided to let the Little Fireman show what is on his piece of paper after he has been so persistent about wanting to show it says in a voice of wonderment and pointing a finger at him and his piece of paper says). "Hey get back there, what's in that thing anyhow?"

Queenie, Ted, Louise, and Mr. Carlson are now watching as the Little Fireman is glee and joy gets in between them and gets ready to show them his piece of paper.

TED to the LITTLE FIREMAN: (Shouting at him in a slightly mad state as he tries to grab the piece of paper from the Little Fireman). "Let me see what is in there?"

The Little Fireman is nos over joyed and smiling from ear to ear as he finally gets to reveal the message that is on his piece of paper. Ted is pointing at the paper and showing Queenie. And Louise and Mr. Carlson are also standing there loving each other are watching the Little Fireman as he is standing with Ted and Queenie on his right side and Louise and Mr. Carlson on his left side. He is now gleefully opening his piece of paper and exposing the following message!

"THE END!"


Videography   (2)

Fan Reviews   (12)
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2010-07-15 10:35:55 by Final Shemp
I wish I could say that the Stooges debut film is a laugh riot that breaths new life in the comic genre, but unfortunately Soup to Nuts is a strained, 70 minute comedy that is roughly 60 minutes too long. The film has no sense of movement and forces itself forward with no real sense of direction.

Ted Healy is far too aggressive in the film, making him an extremely unlikable leading man. Unlike Moe, who would take the leadership role of the Stooges overtime, he commands and threatens without any hint of a dimwitted, playful attitude. Charles Winninger, as Schmidt, does OK with his wacky role, but suffers in trying to sell some of the films more absurd moments, which it looks as if even he himself doesn't buy. A bright spot in the cast is Francis McCoy, who matches wits with Healy and does more than a fair job. I'd even go as far as to say she squeezed out more laughs than he did.

The Stooges, themselves, steal every scene they're in. With the weak material surrounding them, they rescue the entire production from drowning. The firefight finale alone is worthy of the best of their short subjects with Columbia. Unfortunately, they're also carrying the weight of Fred Sanborn, another vaudeville comedian who tagged along with Healy and the trio for the ride. Sanborn spends nearly all of his time grinning at the camera without doing anything. It's not funny. In fact, it's downright creepy.

Soup to Nuts didn't go down in history as a classic. If it weren't the debut of such a popular comic team, it probably
would have rotted in 20th Century Fox's vault till the end of time. It has its moments (most of which are a result of the Stooges), but this one is for super curious historians only.

Final Shemps Final Word: 2 Pokes

Reviewer's Rating: (5)
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2009-12-26 17:06:27 by falsealarms
This was really good. I often have mixed reactions to Healy-era stuff but this was a definite "up" moment. Even though the Stooges aren't featured quite as much as I would have liked, the scenes without them are generally strong. This was not the case in MEET THE BARON, which tended to fall flat when the Stooges weren't in a scene. Another plus for SOUP TO NUTS is a relatively small amount of musical numbers -- and the few that are in here aren't bad. Musical numbers often bogged down otherwise strong comedies, such as is the case in several Marx Brothers works. Some especially memorable bits here included Otto's burglar contraption, the water fountain coming out of a fire hose, and the baby trying to pop the balloon. Just a really strong movie.

Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2002-09-25 14:30:00 by FineBari3
Edited 2009-01-03 11:36:32 by FineBari3

I re-watched "Soup to Nuts" last night (fast-forwarding through the non-Stooges scenes), and wanted to share a few more comments. WARNING: dissertation to follow! (hey, I have a film degree, OK?!) I decided to really analyze the scene where the boys pick up their "girls" to go joy riding. Why did I do this? I wanted to see how they all interacted in this scene.

Shemp greets his "girl" in the film as Babe, and says hello to Helen (Moe's wife). I really noticed how Shemp and "Babe" interact very amorously. I nearly cried when the fire truck pulls out and Shemp grabs "Babe" by the neck, pulls her to him, and covers their faces while he kisses her! (What a sweetie!) Shemp really hangs all over her through the scene, and they both touch each other's legs a lot. Moe and Larry don't interact with their wives as playfully as Shemp and "Babe" do. They just have their arms around their girls. Watch when the fire truck comes screeching to a halt and Larry's face goes right into his girl's chest!

Also, I found that Larry and Shemp's stooge "characters" seemed to be a lot different back then. They were more "rough" characters in this film; ready to stand off and question things. The best example is their bit with Ted at the fireman's ball. I really like the fact that this is probably the best example of their vaudeville act, probably verbatim.

I really did cry when Shemp pulls "Babe" close and says "C'mon Babe, let's mush!", because my grandfather used to say that!

Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2007-09-10 23:17:56 by Justin T
Edited 2007-09-11 14:42:21 by Justin T

A very interesting film, both for its historical value as the film debut of the Stooges and to get a glimpse of what the original Healy and his Stooges act was like when Shemp was with them, before Curly replaced him when they went to MGM. It's not loaded with laughs like the Columbia shorts and some of their later movie and short work when they were with Healy, but there are still some highlights that make it worth watching.

Every time The Stooges are on screen are of course, most of the funniest moments in the movie. I loved the opening with them singing their famous "You'll Never Know.." song, and they sing the whole thing to boot! I really loved the scene where the Stooges pick up their girlfriends, played by their real life wives! It's a real treat to see Moe, Larry and Shemp with the loves of their lives. You can see the love they share shine throughout the scene. Then their is the costume ball where Ted and the boys show off their vaudville material, which is also great. Loved Larry's "Elevator dance" bit. And the finale has some fun Stooge craziness as they rush to save lives in the burning apartment building.

Healy was good here too, but some of comedy he is given doesn't allways work. I liked some of the scenes between him and his girlfriend. Freddie Sandborn is one of the most annoying aspects of the movie for me, he just doesn't mesh with Healy and the Stooges at all and its a eye sore the way they forced him in as part of the group. He's like a pale imitation of Harpo Marx. The whole romance plot didnt really grab me all that much, it was all by the numbers to me.

Overall, a decent move that's worth having in your Stooge collection. 3 pokes from me.


Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2006-09-20 21:52:25 by benjilbum
Very facinating film for its historical value alone. The non-Stooge parts are unwatchable, but every time they are on the screen it lights up. Its strange to see Larry with a full head of hair too. It was the only time they had their real-life wives onscreen with them, and its easy to see they all loved each other very much from their interaction, and the fact they stayed togeather for decades until death parted them. To me its very touching that these roughhouse guys had all found real love. Except for poor Curly that is, he wasnt so fortunate. Moe's backround as a dramatic actor shows through at the end when he makes the impassioned plea to help his pal Larry. The stage sequence is a great example of their vaudville act with Healy (as is Plane Nuts and a few others). This is also the 1st time they sing "You'll Never Know Just What Tears Are", and in fact the only time they ever sing it all the way to the end. So this is the only chance to learn all the words to it if you so desire. And to think they had already been togeather as a team for 5 years at this point, and remained that way for another 40 years!!! Until Kook's Tour in 1970. By all means, get the DVD to this film for your collection. No knucklehead should be without it.
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2001-08-20 23:38:00 by Stooge
Edited 2003-07-01 19:14:00 by Stooge
I only watched this for the Stooges. I tried to watch the parts without them, but they just bored me. But the parts with the Stooges are pretty funny, plus it was interesting to see the Stooges so young and Shemp working with the group before his return in 1947. Freddy Sandborn wasn't necessary in this at all and he just came off as a cheap Harpo Marx rip-off.

Reviewer's Rating: (6)
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2001-08-30 02:59:00 by [Deleted Member]
I thought Fred was alright. He may have been the inspiration for all those scenes in the old cartoons where a big group of characters would run by, than a second later, the tiny one runs by, trying to catch up. VERY interesting to see the Stooges looking so young (especially Shemp). What great costumes at the party, but what was Larry supposed to be dressed as? This film tends to be a TAD bit boring when not showing the Stooges. I wouldn't say it would be SO torturesome to sit through it without a fast forward button. I tell you, if you haven't seen this film yet, catch it the next time AMC runs it, because this is a VERY VITAL piece of Stooge history. By the way, watch for the Stooges being with their real life wives on the fire truck.ISLIPP- when the fire hose is out of control. ®2001Edited by - ISLIPP on 9/1/01 3:41:01 AM
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2001-08-20 23:23:00 by Giff me dat fill-em!
This was an excellent introduction to the Stooges. I enjoyed it greatly. The "costume party" sequence is definitely the highlight of the film. It appeared that when Ted was not doing the slapping/poking/kicking and the boys would interact among themselves, they acted as they always do. It was great fun to watch the boys continue to hone their craft in front of the camera.

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2001-06-06 09:45:00 by Airdale
Only interesting from the standpoint of viewing some of their routines that they continued to do many years later.The singing was great. Harpo/Chaplin/Groucho wannabe left me cold as did Healy and Betty-Boop girlfriend. He IS NOTtoo funny. Maybe 30's audiences weren't too particular withtheir funnymen. Stooge time was painfully short while Healyhogged the movie. Won't watch it twice.
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2001-06-03 11:03:00 by Nicole
I thought this was very funny. It was interesting seeing Ted Healy, and also the Stooges looking young. I have to admit, though, that I missed Larry's haircut. It was very interesting, besides it going slow and the Boys not having their haircuts.Edited by - Nicole on 11/5/2001 6:32:03 PM
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2001-03-12 11:09:00 by B. Bopper
I thought this film the whole way through was funny. All the scenes with the Stooges were excellent. I also enjoyed Freddie Sanborn's role as the mute xylophone playing fireman and Charles Winninger's role as costume shop owner "Otto Schmidt". A must see for all Stooge fans.
Re: SOUP TO NUTS
Posted 2001-03-10 17:13:00 by sickdrjoe
This movie is great for so many reasons I'm bound to run out of room listing them - so I won't even try. It's not quite exactly the Stooges (yet), but that's no knock. I find the 1930-34 period of movie history endlessly fascinating EXACTLY because of movies like this. SOUP TO NUTS is surreal, funny, fast-paced, and a jumble of influences, among them the now-forgotten great comic tradition of classic newspaper comic strips (due to being scripted by Rube Goldberg, the Babe Ruth of the funny pages). There isn't a moment in this that's not hypnotically watchable (and the boys are excellent, to boot). Only drawback: AMC ran this at 6:30 AM on a Sat. morning, which is unforgivable!

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