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The Three Stooges Online Filmography
"Hey, do we know how to cook?" "Do we!" "Do we?" - Larry, Moe & Curly (ACHE IN EVERY STAKE, AN, 1941)

Three Stooges Quotes (924)

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Released Episode Title
Quote Said By
1937-04-17 3 DUMB CLUCKS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"What are you shakin' about?" "I don't know - I'm in a hurry all over!" Moe and Curly
"Where're you goin'?" "AFTER THE THIN MAN." Moe & Curly
"Speak to me kid, say somethin'. Come on, please say somethin'!" "Somethin'." Moe & Curly
"It's a good thing they got an electric chair in this building, otherwise I'd kill ya!" Moe

1963-12-25 4 FOR TEXAS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly Joe
"She reminds me of my Mother." "You never had a mother." "Shame on you!" Larry, Moe & Curly Joe

1939-04-07 A DUCKING THEY DID GO, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I'll be back in a quack with a quack, and I do mean quack!" Curly
"You gentlemen ever sold anything?" "Coitainly, anything we could lay our hands on." "The gentleman said 'sold,' not 'stole.'" Lynton Brent, Curly & Moe

1940-04-19 A PLUMBING WE WILL GO, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Dis house has sho' gone crazy!" Dudley Dickerson
"Who sez you need brains to be a plumber?" Moe
"Oh... a simple job for simple people." Curly
"Coitainly not, I was in the house." "What house?!" "The dog house... nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!" Curly & Eddie Laughton
"This ain't a house. It's a sieve!" Moe
"Don't tell me!" "This is the safest place." "Shut up, there's no room for an argument in here!" Curly, Larry & Moe

1941-08-22 ACHE IN EVERY STAKE, AN, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"We baked you a birthday cake! If you get a tummy-ache, and you moan and groan and woe, don't forget we told you so!" Moe, Larry, and Curly
"I got a poifect score." "No you haven't... you need another strike!" [smack!] Curly and Moe
"What a brain." Larry
"My father died dancing... on the end of a rope." Curly
"Take the gas pipe." ..."Not you! The cake! I'll kill you later... poisonally!" Moe
"We'll die with the heat before those dumb ice men get here. Yesterday they put the ice in the radio." Dorothy Vernon
"How d'ya like that? We forgot to allow for shrinkage." Moe
"Hey, do we know how to cook?" "Do we!" "Do we?" Larry, Moe & Curly
"Ice With Personality --- Coal With Oomph!" Ice Wagon Slogan
"Why don't you get yourself an electric icebox? Does away with all your work, worry, fuss and bother and gives you plenty of fresh food." "Say that again." "Why... rrrowwwff!" Curly & Blanche Payson
"Tell me, is it as warm in the summer as it is in the country, or vice versa?" Curly

1949-05-27 AFRICA SCREAMS, featuring Shemp Howard and Joe Besser (Solo)
"Ooohh, my tent's on fire!" Joe

1947-12-18 ALL GUMMED UP, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"It's tremendous!" It's colossal!" It's putrid!" Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Why'd ya hit me the pestle?" "You're lucky I didn't hit you with the mortar." "Ha Ha Ha! The mortar the merrier!" Shemp, Moe & Larry

1941-05-16 ALL THE WORLD'S A STOOGE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Little fly upon the wall, Ain't ya got no clothes at all? Ain't ya got no shimmy shirt? Ain't ya got no petti-skirt? Boo, fly, ain't ya cold?" Curly
"How's your cold?" "Oh, pretty good. But I still don't smell so good." "I'll say." Symona Boniface, Curly & Stanley Brown
"Act your age!" "Nyaah, glugg, eeee, gaaah, ooooow..." [smack!!!] Moe & Curly
"Go ahead Doc... take a chance... whatta you got to lose?" Curly
"Oooh, Mammy!" Curly
"I'm smoking too much?!! ... Say... where are those refugees?" Emory Parnell
[slap!] "I didn't nothin'!" "That's why I slapped you, do somethin'." Curly & Moe
"Boy, you should have been a surveyor!" "Aw, thanks! Bet you tell that to all the interns!" Moe & Curly

1936-02-06 ANTS IN THE PANTRY, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Where are those three loafers?" "They're in there, talking politics. I just heard one of them say, 'Let's have a New Deal'." Harrison Greene & Hilda Title
"What school did you go to?" "Oxford." "Well you better go back to high shoes!" [crunch!] Moe and Curly
"Aw boss, give us another chance." "Yeah, be a regular guy." Moe and Curly
"What's that thing for?" "Just in case we meet a bear." "Yeah? Meet my bare hand." Moe and Larry
"What're'ya tryin' to do, kill him?! Save him for me... I'll kill him when he gets out!" Moe
"I can't see, I can't see!" "What's'a'matter!?" "I got my eyes closed." [ploink!] Larry, Moe & Curly
"Whatever happened in 1776?" "What street?" "Skip it." Larry & Curly
"What does he think I am, a rat?" "Yeah, what about it?" "Well, you don't have to tell everybody." Curly & Moe
"You can depend on us, toots!" "Whadda'ya mean gettin' familiar with the dame?... Don't pay any attention to 'im, babe!" Curly & Moe

1934-06-23 ART TROUBLE, featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)
"Why don't I come up and see ya sometime when you're in the nude... I mean mood." Shemp Howard

1951-02-01 BABY SITTERS JITTERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Eureka!" "You don't smell so good, either!" Moe & Shemp
"There's a thousand reasons why I shouldn't drink... but I can't think of one right now." Shemp
"You're too much of an ignoramous." "Yeh, and that goes for my whole family too!" Moe & Larry

1943-05-28 BACK FROM THE FRONT, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"If we're discovered, we're lost!" "You're crazy... if we're discovered, we're FOUND!" Moe and Curly
"Why you, Na-Ratzies!" Moe
"Oh, a hoarder, aay?!" "Well, hoarders is hoarders!" Larry & Curly
"Hey fellas, I can't hear a thing!" "Why not?" "I'm not listenin'!" Curly & Larry
"A whale! Look at the size of that whale! It's a whale of a whale!!" Curly

1937-05-14 BACK TO THE WOODS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Fire at will." "Which one is Will?" Moe and Curly
"Order! Order!" "Order? I'll take a ham sandwich!" "Hold thy tongue!" "Not tongue, ham!" Murdock MacQuarrie & Curly
"Why don't ye looketh where ye swishith?" Moe

1940-11-29 BANK DICK, THE, featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)
"Was I in here last night, and did I spend a $20 bill?" "Yeh!" "Oh boy, what a load that is off my mind! I thought I'd lost it." W.C. Fields & Shemp

1955-04-14 BEDLAM IN PARADISE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Well, that beats the Devil!" Phil Van Zandt
"Dear Uncle Mortimer..." Shemp

1933-08-26 BEER AND PRETZELS, featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges
"Here I go with another load." Ted Healy
"He's got five dollars!!!!" Curly
"I heard you tell that girl you were gonna put her name up in electric lights." "Is that what I said? You know, I was thinking of something else." Larry & Ted
"If I'm lying, I hope you drop dead!" Ted Healy

1946-01-10 BEER BARREL POLECATS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Say a few syllables! Utter a few adjectives!" Moe
"Here's my brainchild!" "At last you got a brain... child." Curly and Larry
"We all put the yeast in!" Moe, Larry, and Curly
"I'm gonna get myself a tall, big, beautiful bottle of beer." Curly

1946-02-28 BIRD IN THE HEAD, A, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"It's silly to be scared." "Yeah." "Boy! Am I silly!" Curly and Moe
"You won't know the joint when you get back." Moe
"Gentlemen, here are your quarters." "Oh, two bits apiece." Vernon Dent & Curly
"If he's a headhunter, he's huntin' small game." Moe

1955-11-03 BLUNDER BOYS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"I'm Halliday." "I'm Terraday." "I'm St. Patrick's Day! Hee hee hee!" Moe, Larry & Shemp

1940-12-27 BOOBS IN ARMS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Join the Army and See the World - Or What's Left of It!" Advertising Sign
"He don't pay my salary. It's a guy wit' a beard." Curly
"Everything happens to me!" Richard Fiske
"You're in the Army now / You'll always have your chow / You'll never get rich, you..." Curly
"What do you guys think you're doin'... playin' hippity-hop to the barbershop?!!" Richard Fiske

1945-03-17 BOOBY DUPES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"That's enough! When you didn't know what you were talkin' about, you really had somethin'!" Moe, to Curly
"Shut up!!" "Are you talkin' to me?" "Naw, I'm talkin' to the fish." "Don't call me a fish!" [SLAP] Larry & Moe
"Don't Chop the Wood Mother, Father's Coming Home With a Load" Curly
"Hey, Harry James." "Aww, I'm not that good." "You said it!" (whap!) Moe & Larry

1953-03-05 BOOTY AND THE BEAST, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Why don't you drill where you're looking?" "Why don't you look where I'm drilling?" Shemp and Larry
"G-A-R-A-J... some speller you turned out to be. Don't you know there's an E on the end of it?!" Moe
"We'll get you a new leg." "You'll be dancing in 6 months." "That's good... I never could dance before." Larry, Moe & Shemp
"Say! If I didn't know you was a gentleman, I'd swear you was a safe cracker." Larry

1947-09-11 BRIDELESS GROOM, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"I'm as pretty as a picture!" "Yeah, of an ape!" Shemp and Moe
"When Shemp pours on the charm, no dame can resist him!" Moe
"Join hands, you lovebirds!" Emil Sitka
"Remember, gargle with old razor blades." Shemp
"Oh, my poor piano!" "Shaddup!" Emil Sitka and Larry
"Can I help it if I ain't Cousin Basil?" Shemp
"Poor ol' Uncle Caleb... give you the shirt off his back and throw in the buttons too." Shemp
"You're supposed to be singing about the voices of spring, not the eruption of a volcano." Shemp
"You wouldn't hit a lady with that?... Use this, it's bigger." Moe
"Well, you can't get killed for tryin'." Moe

1953-10-08 BUBBLE TROUBLE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"It's great being a gorilla! You don't have to pay income tax!" Larry

1944-03-18 BUSY BUDDIES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Are you casting asparagus on my cooking?" Curly

1942-02-26 CACTUS MAKES PERFECT, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I shoot an arrow into the air, where it lands I do not care: I get my arrows wholesale!" Curly
"I'm gonna change my socks. What an experience!" Curly
"Dear Mr. Jack... Look at the way he spells Jack... J-E-R-K." Curly
"Hey, you're leavin' the ends in 'im." "Yeh, they don't show." Moe & Larry
"... For two pins I'd bat your brains out!" "I ain't got any pins." "You ain't got any brains, either!" Moe & Curly
"Boy, won't Ma be happy!" "Yeah, we'll take her right out of the kitchen." "And move the stove into the dining room!" Moe, Larry & Curly
"This ain't gettin' us no place! We'll have to blast!" "Wait a minute. Maybe we can pry him out!" "It'll take longer, but go ahead." Larry & Moe

1939-08-25 CALLING ALL CURS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Oh, mutiny, eh?" "Yeah, and it's not on the Bounty!" Moe and Curly
"Success!" "Success!" "Mazel Tov!" Moe, Larry and Curly
"Do you think it's serious, Dr. Curly?" "Yes indeed, to say the least, if not less." Larry & Curly
"My sandwich bit me! I'm beating it into submission!" Curly
"I'm tryin' to think, but nuthin' happens." Curly

1937-09-03 CASH AND CARRY, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Five hundred dollars!? Hmmm... that's almost a million!" Curly
"There's a treasure there buried by Captain Kidd's kid." "No kiddin'!" Nick Copeland and Curly
"Remind me to kill you later." "I'll make a note of it... I ain't got a pencil." "I changed my mind, I'm going to kill you now!" Moe & Curly
"I had a dollar once---" "That's enough!" Larry and Moe
"The treasure! We found it!" "Now Jimmy can get his operation!" "There's enough here for all of us to have an operation!" Moe, Larry and Curly
"I didn't know they put money up in cans... sure, look... canned coin." Curly
"... I find it possible to extend to you Executive Clemency." "Oh please, no, not that!" Al Richardson & Curly

1956-11-08 COMMOTION ON THE OCEAN, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"When it comes to fish, I'm a common-sewer!" Larry

1940-11-15 COOKOO CAVALIERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"You give me the three hundred dollars, and I give you the business!" Lynton Brent
"Yeah, we know. 1410 South American Way. No cover charge anytime. Glad to meet me." Curly, Larry and Moe
"They must be hungry, they all end in 'eat-a.' N'yuck n'yuck, n'yuck." Curly
"Do you have a haddock?" "No, I don't have no haddock, but I get a little attack there every time I eat too much." Anita Garvin & Curly
"Whats'a'matter wid' him?" "Tarpon monoxide." Moe & Curly
"Tarpon? That's a weakfish." "Pheeeww! Smells strong to me." Moe & Anita Garvin

1934-04-28 CORN ON THE COP, featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)
"My corns are killing me." "Why don't you do something for them?" "Why should I? They never did anything for me!" Shemp Howard & Harry Gribbon
"My uncle made a fortune in corn... at $10 a gallon." Shemp

1952-05-01 CORNY CASANOVAS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Gee, Moe, what mo' can a fellow say? That's all there is, there ain't no mo'!" Shemp Howard
"The tacks won't come out!" "They went in... maybe they're income tacks." Larry & Shemp
"The place will be more presentimental to the new bribes." "Bribes?! You mean brides!" "Uh-uh! Anybody who'd marry you two buzzards would have to be bribed!" Shemp & Larry

1941-07-01 CRACKED NUTS, featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)
"I can't help myself, I just gotta chase after blondes." "What do you do with them?" "I don't know. Ain't caught one yet." Shemp & Mischa Auer

1944-02-05 CRASH GOES THE HASH, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Jeepers, creepers, what a night!" Parrot
"Such levity! You remind me of The Three Stooges!" "Hey! That's an insult!" Bud Jamison and Curly
"You put 'em on crackers. They give you an appetite like a horse." "Oh, Animal Crackers." Moe & Curly
"Not can of peas, can'a'peas!! One of us is crazy and it's not you." Larry
"Are you good with stews?" "Coitainly, he's always half-stewed." Bud Jamison & Curly
"Not bogus... bonus! Don'chu know what bonus is?" "Coitainly... bonus noches, si, si senor." Larry & Curly
"Here 'ya are toots, here's the boid... hey, I just give'ya da boid!" Curly

1943-10-08 CRAZY HOUSE, featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)
"Wanna buy a stove? It's hot." Shemp
"Wanna buy an anchor? Fresh off the boat." Shemp
"Wanna buy a bee hive? You won't get stung." Shemp

1956-02-02 CREEPS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Killings and murders, I want!" Moe

1948-12-09 CRIME ON THEIR HANDS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"With oranges, it's much harder." Shemp
"Uh, no Chief! I'll take orders Chief." "Okay. [Slap!] "That's for absolutely nothing!" Larry and Moe
"Hello? Yes! Yes! YES! No! No." [click] "What was it?" "Wrong number." [Slap!] Shemp & Moe
"You know Porcupine, for a guy without brains you're a genius." Moe, to Larry
"Copy boy, copy boy... stop the presses!" [crunch!] "Moe, Moe... stop the presses." Shemp
"I wonder which one of these guys is Dapper?" "Nobody looks dapper in here!" Larry & Shemp
"Any halfwit can see I'm telling the truth." "Yeh, I can see you're tellin' the truth." Christine McIntyre & Shemp
"I helped!" Ray Corrigan

1952-12-04 CUCKOO ON A CHOO CHOO, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"How will drinking cure your red nose?" "Drink 'til it turns blue!" Patricia Wright & Shemp
"He's filthy with money." "Aahh, he's filthy wid' or wid'out it!" Patricia Wright & Larry
"... If you don't wanna lose her, you better play ball with me." "Wait a minute, how did you know I had a ball?!" [clunk!] Larry & Moe
"Oh boy, limburger! My favorite fruit." Moe

1933-11-24 DANCING LADY, featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges
"I'm the best musician in the country!" "Yeah, but how are ya in the city?" Moe and Larry
"Listen Paderewski, were them funny noises comin' outta you or the piano?" Joan Crawford

1936-05-30 DISORDER IN THE COURT, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"He's for onesies, you gave him twosies." "Here's fivesies!" [SLAP!!] Larry and Moe
"I'm no mule!" "Naw, your ears are too short!" "So I'm a mule." Curly & Moe
"What comes after 75?" "76." "That's the spirit!" Moe & Larry
"He's asking you if you'll swear..." "No! But I know all da woids." Edward LeSaint & Curly
"Tarantula? Shot five holes in a divot!" Moe to Larry

1943-02-05 DIZZY DETECTIVES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I'll lead the way. Go ahead!" Moe
"What woman, where?" "Well I didn't see her, but I could swear---" [slap!] "That's a bad habit!" Moe and Curly
"That ox can't call me a monkey." "Shut up, ya baboon." Curly & Moe
"I don't wanna be dead! There's no future in it!" Curly

1937-03-19 DIZZY DOCTORS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Hello Ma, hello Pa. It wasn't much of a fight. I stood like that... but not for long!" Curly
"If you have a knicknack with a nick in it, we'll knock the nick outta the knicknack with Brighto!" Larry
"Are ya listenin'? Ba-ba-ba-boo, ba-ba-ba-boo, ba-ba-ba-boo!!" Larry
"A guy wants to know what to do for inflammation." "Why call us? Tell him to dial Inflammation!" Curly and Moe
"Brighto! Brighto! It makes old bodies new! We'll sell a million bottles, Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!" Curly
"We looked for a job one day last year... there isn't any." Curly
"Cheese? That's soap!" "Y'know, I thought it tasted kinda strong." Moe & Curly

1943-09-24 DIZZY PILOTS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Vice? I have no vice. I'm as pure as driven snow." "But ya drifted! [bonk]" Curly and Moe
"Joe Strubachinkoscow - Boy, what a moniker!" Moe
"Hey do you two guys go steady?" Larry
"We're losin' altitude, we gotta get rid of some weight!" "What'a'ya lookin' at me for!?" Moe & Curly
"I see the garage, but I don't 'saw' the garage! You are speaking incorrectly. You are moidering da King's English!" Curly
"It's the gas you idiots!" "Can I get you some bicarbonate?" Moe & Curly
"We're great inventors... Robert Fulton, Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, Don Ameche, and us!" Curly

1951-05-03 DON'T THROW THAT KNIFE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Any resemblance between the Three Stooges and regular human beings is a dirty shame." Opening scene caption
"Name, please." "Wyckoff." "'Cause he don't brush his teeth, lady." Moe, Jean Willes & Larry
"Now remember... we're census takers, not ordinary idiots." Moe
"I got an uncle who can make things disappear." "Is he a magician?" "Nah, he's a kleptomaniac." Shemp & Moe
"Ahh, money shrinks!" "So do you, every time you get near a bathtub." Shemp & Moe

1950-03-02 DOPEY DICKS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"When you make a left turn put your arm out!" Moe
"What's'a'matter kid? Gotta toothache?" Shemp
"Central section... northeastern section... western section... if I don't hurry, we'll all be in sections!" Shemp
"Strange men are following me!" "They'd be strange if they didn't. Hee hee hee!" Christine McIntyre & Shemp

1949-11-03 DUNKED IN THE DEEP, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"We're known as The Fish Market Duet." "Yeah, we sing for the halibut." Larry & Shemp
"Giff me dat fillum! Giff me dat fillum!" Gene Roth
"Pre-war?" "Next one." Larry & Moe

1941-03-21 DUTIFUL BUT DUMB, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I can't find the negative." "What about the positive?" "I'm positive about the negative, but a little negative about the positive." "Oh, negative eh?" "No, I'm positive the negative is in the developer." "Your brains need developing!" Larry, Moe and Curly
"Calling all cars! Calling all cars! Be on the lookout for three photographers....d'ey ain't in here!" Curly

1942-09-18 EVEN AS IOU, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Just a second! These horses ran day before yesterday!" "They won, didn't they!?!" Vernon Dent and Curly
"Give me Ripley! Yeah, believe it or not!" Moe
"I beat Filet Mignon, in the Porterhouse Stakes." Billy Bletcher
"Jersey?" "No, New York!" Moe & Curly

1936-08-16 FALSE ALARMS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Aw Cap, you wouldn't throw us out into the cold, cruel world... we'd freeze." "Yeh, it'd be cruelty to animals!" Moe and Curly
"You'll like me after we get acquainted. I grow on people." "So do warts." June Gittelson and Curly
"Oh look at all the little baby hoses... quintuplets! Marie, Annette, Yvonne..." "Hey, don't disturb the rest of them; they're asleep." [slap!] Curly & Moe
"Just why did you 3 half-wits join the Fire Dept.?" "So we wouldn't have to buy any tickets to the Fireman's Ball!" Stanley Blystone & Curly
"Oh, a blind date, aay?" "She ain't blind!... she may be a little hard o' hearin'." Moe & Curly
"Hello, yes, yes, yes...?" "You got 'em?" "The line's busy." "Busy?" "Yeh, I'm talkin'!" Curly & Beatrice Curtis
"Help me with this midget, will ya?" Moe
"We're sorry, captain, it was all a big mistake." "Yeah, he forgot to throw the bucket." Moe & Curly

1948-05-06 FIDDLERS THREE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Idiot! Thou hath made me shoe the wrong mule!" Moe
"Beee-oooh!" "Whew!... your best friend should tell thee." Shemp
"Blacksmith where art thou?" Shemp
"Notify the FBI!" "FBI?" "Yes... Flanagan, Branagan & Iskovitch, detectives." Vernon Dent & Al Thompson

1958-04-10 FIFI BLOWS HER TOP, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"I remember it like it was yesterday. I was eatin' a hot dog and waiting to be mustard out ..." Larry
"I come from Brooklyn, where those bums are." "Bums? Bums! They explode!" "I'll say they explode... they fall apart!" Joe & Vanda DuPre

1938-11-25 FLAT FOOT STOOGES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I can afford to lose a few pounds... I'm too pleasingly plump as it is." Curly
"Hey, we're doin' the Corrigan!'" Curly

1958-10-09 FLYING SAUCER DAFFY, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"That's good for you, that's good for you!" [crack!] "But that's bad for me. Wow!" Joe

1956-05-03 FOR CRIMIN' OUT LOUD, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Miracle Detective Agency: If We Solve Your Crime, It's A Miracle!" Sign on Door
"I filed Smith's toupee under 'D'." "What's the idea of filing it under 'D'?" "It had dandruff." Shemp & Moe
"Baby, you can peddle your papers here anyday!... heep, heep, heep, heep." Shemp
"Remind me to kill you later." "I won't have time later." "Then I'll kill you now." Moe & Shemp
"Look at your watch." "Okay, but you'll have to wait until I go to the pawnshop." Moe & Larry

1947-03-06 FRIGHT NIGHT, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Cop a sneaker, eh?" Shemp
"There goes Shemp with a left jab. There goes Shemp with a right upper-cut. There goes Shemp with a haymaker! (crash) There goes Shemp." Moe
"Any blood -- ignore it!" Moe
"What's yer watch say?" "Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick!" [crack] Moe and Shemp
"How do you like that guy - wasted a perfectly good cream puff!" Shemp
"Aw, don't be a baby! It's all in fun." "I hate fun!" Dick Wessel & Shemp
"You're crushin' my eyebrows!" Shemp

1940-08-23 FROM NURSE TO WORSE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"If you had played your part like a Pekinese instead of a wolfhound, our plan woulda worked!" Moe
"This is my favorite dollar. I raised it from a cent!" Curly
"Bonanza, banana, bandana... as long we don't have to woik anymore!" Curly
"You're supposed to be a dog, and don't forget it!" Moe

1949-07-07 FUELIN' AROUND, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Say, did I give you carbolic acid? (I'd love to!)" Larry
"He's the most intelligent imbecile I've ever seen." "Hey, what about me?" "Oh, you're much smarter... you're just an imbecile." Moe & Shemp
My neeeeck!" Shemp
"We gotta fool 'em... savvy?" "You're right, it's our duty to posterior." Moe & Larry
"I got a little booklet here, in how to train your memory in 5 easy lessons." Shemp
"Hey stop shovin', I'm the professor." "Well pardon me professor." " That's better." SLAP Larry and Moe

1946-09-05 G. I. WANNA HOME, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
If I'm going to work like a horse, I'm gonna eat like one. Curly
You know, it's lucky they got a beautiful house where we can all live." "And after we're married... we'll get 'em the best jobs they ever had!" Moe & Larry

1943-12-30 GEM OF A JAM, A, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I think it's a bad case of Spectus-onthefloorus!" "Then we'll need to use plenty of sulpha thya-soap!" Curly and Moe
"I wouldn't say yes, but I couldn't say no." "Would you say maybe?" "I might!" Curly and Larry
"You sho' is ugly!" Dudley Dickerson

1952-07-04 GENTS IN A JAM, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Women? I tame 'em like Frank Buck tames tigers! Sometimes I'm kind to 'em, sometimes I crack the whip and make 'em jump!" Moe
"All I wanted was a nice, quiet visit." Emil Sitka

1944-09-22 GENTS WITHOUT CENTS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Niagara Falls! Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch...!" Moe & Larry
"So it shouldn't be a total loss, I'm taking a bath!" Curly
"I don't understand it. Every time we get to that inch by inch part something always happens." Larry
"Did you call me... Pal?! Moe

1949-02-03 GHOST TALKS, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Six lions were tearing me apart, bit by bit! Six lions!" "Quit lyin!" Shemp and Moe
"Me? I'm Red." "Oh ... Red Skeleton!" Skeleton & Shemp
"Sorry gentlemen, I [cough-cough] haven't had a smoke in a thousand years." "Think you're old enough to smoke?" Phil Arnold & Shemp
"That confounded shutter." "I shutter to think of it." "Shutter-up!" Phil Arnold, Shemp & Moe

1951-09-14 GOLD RAIDERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"He's got horse sense!" "Too bad you ain't a horse." "What'a'ya wanna insult the horse for?!" Shemp, Larry & Moe
"The men out here are rough and tough and they love battles." "Well, I'm weak and soft and I love the Bronx!" Moe & Larry

1953-12-03 GOOF ON THE ROOF, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Just for that, you don't go in there!" Moe
"Why, I wouldn't live in this rats' nest!" Maxine Gates

1937-07-02 GOOFS AND SADDLES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Buffalo Bill." "Buffalo Billious." "Just Plain Bill." Curly, Moe and Larry

1937-01-15 GRIPS, GRUNTS, AND GROANS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Will you gentlemen have dessert?" "Yeh, another turkey!" William Irving & The Stooges
"I got my shirt bet on Bustoff to win a wrestling match tonight, & you mugs got him out gettin' him stewed." "Yeah, but he's payin' for it." Chuck Callahan & Curly

1957-06-13 GUNS A POPPIN!, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"What'a'ya tryin' to do, break his gun?!!" Joe
"This area's fine for hunting." "How do you know?" "I saw a sign outside that said Fine For Hunting." Joe & Larry

1955-03-10 GYPPED IN THE PENTHOUSE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"I used to play in five flats, but I got kicked outta the last one." Shemp
"There must be a way to get that ring without getting into trouble with the censor!" Shemp
"How dare you call my tomato a golddigger?!" Moe
"Who is this spotted raccoon?" Moe

1936-04-30 HALF SHOT SHOOTERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Pipe down, you guys, you're spoilin' the whole war for me!" Larry
'Would you fight for this great Republic, and..." "Republican?! Naw, I'm a Democrat!" "Not me!! I'm a pedestrian!" Edward LeSaint, Moe and Curly
"Every time you think you weaken the nation." Moe
"His mother and my mother are both mothers." Curly
"I don't know where that one landed, but I hope it didn't hit the pool room!" Moe
"For 2 cents I'd punch you right in the face." "Well here's the 2 cents!" "Well, I raised my price." Curly & Vernon Dent
"Were you born in this country?!!" "No, Milwaukee." Edward LeSaint & Larry
"I seen my duty and I did it!" "Well, I see my duty and I'LL do it!" [smack!] Curly & Moe

1947-01-09 HALF-WITS HOLIDAY, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Completely illogical, preponderantly impracticable, and moreover - it stinks!" Vernon Dent
"Oh, see the deer. Has the deer a little doe?" "Yeah, two bucks!" Curly & Larry
"You act as though the Sword of Damocles was hanging over your head." "Lady, you must be psychic!" Symona Boniface & Moe
"So different than our first party at the reform school." Larry
"You don't know your arithmetic." "You don't know my father." Ted Lorch & Larry
"We are morons, tried and true, and we'll do our yell for you!... Duh-blah-goo-gah-duh-yaa..." Moe, Larry & Curly
"My lamb chop lost his pants." "Well, dress 'im and eat 'im." Larry & Moe
"Your drink madam." [splat!] "Pardon me madam." Emil Sitka
"There ain't been a gentleman in our family for fifty generations!" Larry
"Stop it! Stop it this minute, you disgraceful vagabonds!" Helen Dickson
"The world speaks of one missing link, but I swear there are three." Vernon Dent

1959-08-01 HAVE ROCKET -- WILL TRAVEL, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly Joe
"Say, they made Moe really ugly, didn't they?" "Oh I don't know, I think he's uglier in person." [smack!] Curly Joe and Larry
"Ain't he quaint?" "Ain't?! The word is Isn't!" "Isn't he quisn't?" Larry & Moe
"Watch what you're doin'. He's my friend." "Would you go halvies with him on everything?" "Coitainly." "Here's your half!" [clang!] Larry & Moe

1952-07-03 HE COOKED HIS GOOSE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"I'm engaged to three beautiful girls! Just ask my secretary." Larry, to Moe

1938-05-20 HEALTHY, WEALTHY AND DUMB, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"This bed goes back to Henry the 8th." "That's nuthin'. We had a bed that went back to Sears Roebuck the 3rd." James C. Morton and Curly
"What's that monkey got, that I ain't got?" "A longer tail." Curly and Moe
"Get this ''Henry VIII'' off my neck!" Moe
"You wanna cheat, cheat fair. Anything I hate is a crooked crook." Moe

1948-09-02 HEAVENLY DAZE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Cheerio, Pi-Pip, and all that sort of rot, old thing, old stuff, old fishmonger, old skunk bait!" Larry
"Says which?" Sam McDaniel
It's a good thing you hit me with money, or I'd resent that! Larry

1943-07-30 HIGHER THAN A KITE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Did you get the squeak out?" "Boy, we got everything out." Duke York and Moe
"Come here and sit on my lap." "What lap?" Vernon Dent and Larry
"Pardon me, General, I think I know the Fro-lean.. Did you ever play football for the Giants?" Moe
"Marshal Boring, ver iss your automobile?" "Dumbkoff, I only got an 'A' card." Dick Curtis and Vernon Dent
"No wonder we're retreating." Vernon Dent
"If this is what I think it is, you'll get your wings... and a harp to go with 'em!" Duke York

1935-03-09 HIS FIRST FLAME, featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)
"How can I ignite the fire in my heart when you've got your foot in my face!" Shemp

1935-08-29 HOI POLLOI, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"What's that for? I didn't do nuthin'!" "That's in case ya do and I'm not around!" Larry and Moe
"Thanks for the dance... and cut yourself a slice'a throat! " Curly
"You must believe in the hypothesis of occult power!" "Well, I guess so... " Phyllis Crane and Moe
"It ain't the dippin'. It's the countin' that's got me!" Curly
"Allow me to introduce Prof. Nichols' two daughters." "Brother, can you spare a Nichol?" Harry Holman & Larry
"What'a'ya mean rowdies?! Spread out!" Grace Goodall
"You're all canned up!" [crack!] "Now you're all bottled up!" Curly & Moe

1949-05-05 HOKUS POKUS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Does my head look like a steam pipe?" "No, a steam pipe hasn't got ears!" Shemp and Moe
"Say, you can't get this guy out of Sing Sing." "Good, that's just where he belongs." Larry and Shemp
"Hey Moe, where'd you get the sunglasses?" "I bought 'em!" (slap) Shemp And Moe
"What stupid, imbecilic fool put that up th...? Ulp! I did. Boy am I dumb." Larry
"The great hypnotist Svengarlic --- He'll steal your breath away." Theatre poster

1947-07-17 HOLD THAT LION!, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Rome wasn't built in a day, and neit'er was Syracuse." Shemp
"What is that, a cocker spaniel?" "No, I think it's just a Spaniel." Moe and Shemp, to Curly
"Say, what's a good word for scrutiny?" "Scrutiny." Moe and Shemp
"Them's fightin' words in my country!" "Well then let's fight." "Well we ain't in my country." Shemp and Kenneth MacDonald
"We'll get that filthy lucre! / The moolah! / The geetus! / No slippery guy named Slipp, is ever gonna cheat us!" Larry & Shemp
"Hey, wake up and go to sleep." Moe

1934-03-30 HOLLYWOOD ON PARADE # B-9, featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges
"Your fairy godmother always watches over you." "I've got an uncle I'm not sure of." Ted Healy & Bonnie Bonnell

1957-01-31 HOOFS AND GOOFS, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"You're the anesthetist." "Don't call me names!" Larry and Joe
"Are you okay Mr. Dinklespiel?!" "Yeah... I fell on my head." Moe and Benny Rubin

1935-01-10 HORSES' COLLARS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
Moe, Larry, the cheese! Moe, Larry, the cheese!!! Curly
"Ooohh, a woman! Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!!!" Curly
"What about the money?" "G'wan, that's a tin roof." "What'aya mean?" "A tin roof... it's on the house." Nelson McDowell, Larry & Curly
"Every time he sees a mouse he goes crazy." "Why?" "'Cause his father was a rat." Larry, Fred Kelsey & Moe
"If you wuz alone I'd punch ya right in the nose!" "So why don'tcha do it?" "Well... I'm with you." Curly & Moe

1957-09-12 HORSING AROUND, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"What's the idea of spreadin' mashed potatoes on your bread... why don't you use butter?" "That's fattening!" Moe & Joe

1955-10-06 HOT ICE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"It's liquor!" "She's gettin' shickered." "I'll do it quicker!" Larry, Moe & Shemp

1948-07-08 HOT SCOTS, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Which would you rather have, a shoe full of dollar bills, or two socks of fives?" "I'll take the two socks!" "You got 'im!" [pow!] Moe & Shemp
"Meet MacLarry, MacShemp and I'm MacMoe." Moe
"For I'm off to a gatherin' of the Clan!" "Oh, a clanbake, ay?" Herbert Evans & Shemp
"He's from southern Scotland... below the MacMason-MacDixon Line." Moe
"That's 150 years old..." "With a little luck, it should get to be 250." Herbert Evans & Moe
"Glenheather Castle, on the Bonny Banks of Scotland... but 'tis late, and the bonny banks are closed." Title card
"Train leaving on Track 4, all aboard!" Larry

1956-09-06 HOT STUFF, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Wait a minute, I can't lay carpets!" "Why not?" "I'm not that rugged!" Larry & Connie Cezan
"By golly, that's good. Tastes like rotten eggs!" Gene Roth

1940-07-26 HOW HIGH IS UP?, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"What do I look like, a rivet??" "How do you feel?" "Like a rivet." Moe and Curly
"Did you see where I almost went?!" "No, but I know where you oughta go." Curly and Moe
"Hey, did that sweater have a pink bow?!" "NO!" "You cut his ear off..." Moe and Curly
"Looks like a V8." "Did'ja ever hear of a V5?" "What's that, a new car?" "No, it's an old sock!" [SLAP!] Larry & Moe
"Don't mind me, don't mind me!!" Curly

1950-02-02 HUGS AND MUGS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Somebody's roastin' a ham. Whooaah, it's me!" Shemp
"Aww, gee... what if my scout master walked in and caught me?" Shemp
"I've been asked to get married lots o'times." "Who asked you?" "My father and mother." Shemp & Larry

1951-11-01 HULA-LA-LA, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"These girls have their andaleys mixed up with their pirouettes, & their fortissimos mixed up with the allegrettos." "Yeh, but what's wrong with their dancin'?" Moe & Shemp
"The witchdoctor is a bad man." "You can say that again." "The witchdoctor is a bad man." Jean Willes & Larry
"Hey, red shoes!" Moe

1943-08-13 I CAN HARDLY WAIT, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Oh, my tooth! My tooth! It feels like Gremlins are gremling in it!" " Curly
"Hey babe, you wanna come up and see my coffee sometime?" "Fresh!" "Oh yeah, ground today." Larry and Adele Mara
"Boy if those Japs knew how many planes we turned out today, their yellow jaundice would turn green!" Moe
"We get half a slice o' ham, & half an egg apiece... you get a whole bone & a whole eggshell... and you're squawkin!?" Moe
"Everytime you've got it, I get it!" Curly
"You got me bald-headed in the mouth!" Curly

1941-07-11 I'LL NEVER HEIL AGAIN, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"The characters in this picture are all fictitious. Anyone resembling them is better off dead." Opening Scene Caption
"Gimme back my poison-ality!" Moe
"As minister of propaganda, I wanna report that the people ---" "I am not INTERESTED in the PEOPLE!" Larry and Moe
"I'll wipe out Greece!" "Wait a minute....Chissolini tried it, and look what happened!" Larry and Curly
This is a pool game, not a blitzkreig...I think I'll invade you!" Moe
"Do you have anything on tonight?" "No, not a thing." "You'll catch cold." [Rowrff!] Mary Ainslee & Curly

1948-10-07 I'M A MONKEY'S UNCLE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Did you come from behind that rock, or from under it?" Shemp Howard
"Oh, my darling, I'll give you security! The most beautiful cave in Mesopotamia!" Moe
"How much would you charge to haunt a cave?" Shemp
"You stole our girls, you horse thieves!" Cy Schindell
"Talk respectful when you're talkin' about my tomato!" Moe

1945-07-20 IDIOTS DELUXE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"No Smoking, No Hunting, No Fishing, No Nothing - Go Home!" Signs
"Poor Moe!" "Oh woe is Moe... Whoa, Moe!!" Curly and Larry
"Have you ever been indicted?" "Not since I was a baby, yer Honor!" Vernon Dent and Moe
"How'd ya want yer eggs?" "Sunny-side down, and don't turn 'em over!" Curly and Moe
"The bear was here in person, I tell ya! I saw him with my eyes, I heard him with my ears, and his trap got me by the tail!" Curly
"Ya want the bear to eat 'im alive? Go out there and help him!" "That bear don't need no help." Moe & Larry
"I'm waitin' for the dressin' and cranberry sauce." Curly
"Oh, my nerves!" Moe
"If there's anything I like better than honey and ketchup, it's baloney and whipped cream --- and we haven't got any!" Moe

1944-07-16 IDLE ROOMERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I want my tip!" "I got one for ya... get out!" Curly & Moe

1945-08-30 IF A BODY MEETS A BODY, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"No, no. Too too morbid" "The morbid, the merrier!" Moe and Curly
"Didn't you once tell me you were born in Oxford?" "I don't remember, I was born awful young" Moe and Curly
"Who are you?" "I'm Curly Q. Link!" "Oh! You're the missing link!" "No, I'm the found link!" Fred Kelsey and Curly
"Blow it out, or I'll blow out your brains!... or a reasonable facsimile thereof." Moe
"Good night, gentlemen. I hope you have a nice lo-o-ong sleep." "Thanks Dracula." Ted Lorch & Moe
"What's the 'Q' stand for? Quincy?" "No." "Quillip?" "No." "What does the 'Q' stand for?" "Cuff." "Oh, Cuff Link..." Larry, Curly & Moe
"67 cents!!!" Moe, Larry & Curly
"If you so much as breath, I'll tear your tonsils out and tie it around your neck for a bowtie!" Moe

1941-10-16 IN THE SWEET PIE AND PIE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Is this a musical saw?" "Coitainly, it plays I Hear a Ripsody." Moe & Curly
"Somebody give me a pie!" Mary Ainslee
"I'm too young to die... too young and too handsome... uuunnnggghhh! Well, I'm too young." Curly
"Are you familiar with the Great Wall of China?" "No, but I know a big fence in Chicago." Symona Boniface & Curly Howard
"How did you zombies get out of jail?!" Dorothy Appleby
"How's your tapeworm?" "It took the blue ribbon at Madison Square Garden last week." Moe & Curly
"As a rule, parties bore me... but I know I'm going to get a big bang out of this one. [smack!] Vernon Dent
"He did it." "Thank you... [smack!]... but you started it!!!" John Tyrrell & Symona Boniface
"...when I raised my rifle and fired! [splat!] Naturally, the, uh, the lions halted. So I turned to my right, and there coming towards me was [splat!] another lion!" Eddie Laughton
"Smell good on the inside too! Ha ha! Ain't you the one!" Curly
"Boy, this oughta take off the pimples and blemishes!" "Yeah, maybe the skin too." "Who cares? I'll be a skinless frankfurter!" Moe & Larry
"Ohh, my! Never have I been through such a lion fight!" Eddie Laughton
"Well, I'll be hanged!" "You will." Curly & Richard Fiske

1954-02-04 INCOME TAX SAPPY, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"That's 11 dependents! Who are they?" "My ex-wife and 10 bartenders." Larry & Shemp
"Deduct it from your income tax." "I owe him!" "Do you expect to pay it?" "No." "Then it's a bad debt." Moe & Shemp

1970-02-01 KOOK'S TOUR, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly Joe
"The arrow points half way. I don't know if it's half empty or half full." "Ah come on Moe." "...those old jokes." Moe, Larry, Curly Joe
"What are you gonna do?" "Nothin!" "Don't strain yourself." Larry & Moe

1952-03-06 LISTEN, JUDGE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Jiffy Fixers: We Repare Enything! It's done in a flash for very small cash!" Sign
"Good work, Larry! Keep it up and I'll give you some C-A-N-D-Y!" "Ah, you know I don't smoke!" Moe and Larry
"The Judge is out there!" "What Judge?" "The Judge that wants to send us up for life!" "Don't worry, where's there's life there's hope." Larry, Moe & Shemp
"Fix that punch, and make it snappy!" "But the lady said she wanted it weak." [SMACK!] Moe & Shemp
"I'll moider somebody!!!" Moe
"G'wan you French poodle, your father's got fleas!" Moe

1942-01-08 LOCO BOY MAKES GOOD, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Waiter, do you have Pate de Foie Gras?" I'll see if the band can play it." Lynton Brent & Larry
"They hit me with a tomatah." "A tomato?" "Yeah, a cowardly tomatah... one that hits 'ya and runs." Curly & Vernon Dent
"Mingle or I'll mangle!" Moe
"She was bred in old Kentucky... but she's only a crumb up here." Moe
"Get my other pair of socks... they're standin' behind the stove." Curly
"Start slippin'... we'll start suin'!" Moe
"This looks screwy enough to be good." John Tyrrell
"Don't you dare hit me in the head... you know I'm not normal." Curly
"Nill, Null & Void... 3 hams who lay their own eggs" Chisel Inn Hotel lobby sign

1950-05-04 LOVE AT FIRST BITE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"My romance started on the Rue de Schlemeil in Paris." Shemp
"5 to win, 5 to place, 25 to show... 35 cents altogether!" Moe
"Let's cremate 'im." "We can't do that... we ain't got no cream." Moe & Larry

1949-09-01 MALICE IN THE PALACE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Hot DOG! When it comes to cookin', I'm the cat's meow!" Larry
"I am an aristocrat. I am Hassan Ben Sober!" "I had a few too many myself." Vernon Dent & Shemp
"That murderous cut-throat. He has the famous 100 carat diamond!" "100 carats? He sure knew his onions." Vernon Dent & Shemp
"I'd leave it on... people won't know if you're comin' or goin'." Shemp
"With that kind of money, we could rent a one room apartment in Hollywood... maybe." Larry

1942-07-02 MATRI-PHONY, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Hey fellas, look! - DOLLAR DAY - This will put a pot in every palace!" "I'll put a pot on top of your head!" Curly and Moe
"Go on, get sexy!" Moe to Curly
"Vitamins A, B, C, D, E, F, Gee I like food!" Curly

1933-10-20 MEET THE BARON, featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges
"Now remember... one slip of those blindfolds, and you'll feel my wrath!" "Don't try to bribe the boys." Edna May Oliver & Ted Healy

1934-09-28 MEN IN BLACK, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard!" P.A. Announcer
"Let's pluck 'im and see if he's ripe!" Larry
"For duty and humanity!" Moe Larry and Curly
"We graduated with the highest temperatures in our class." Larry
"What did you do for patient in 72?" "Nothing! What'd he ever do for us!" Del Henderson & Curly
"Look!... Great big, giant, green canaries!!!" Billy Gilbert
"Should I give him sodium amytal?" "Nah, give 'im a Coca-Cola." Ruth Hiatt & Larry
"She's in a coma." "I am not... I'm in a bed." Bud Jamison & Little Billy Rhodes
"What is it, heads or tails?" "Gnug!" "What?" "Gnug!" "Is that it?" "Coitainly!" Larry, Curly & Bobby Callahan
"How old are you?" "I'm 35." "Nah, you couldn't get that fresh in 35 years." Larry, Little Billy Rhodes & Curly
"Doctor! We're mighty proud of you, you've done a wonderful thing for humanity, and when we leave here, we're goin' right down to the president's office and..." "We won't say a word about it!" Moe & Curly

1951-09-06 MERRY MAVERICKS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Hey, what does that apprehensive mean?" "It means you're scared -- with a college education." Moe and Larry
"If you take a flower, and it smells really nice... that's vagrancy." "Heh, heh, we can beat that rap." Larry & Shemp
"Why don't ya get yerself a book and read it? Improve your mind... aahh, skip it." Moe
"If they did kill us, they'd all hang. That'd make things even." "Don't sound very even to me." Moe & Larry
"Hey Moe, what'a we do wid' the girl?" "Aah, throw her to the dogs." "Rowwrf, rowwrf, arooohhhh!" Shemp, Moe & Larry
"Clarence [?!] Cassidy!? Don't sound quite right no-how... somehow" Shemp
"... and go to work." "Ooohh, you said a nasty word." [smack!] Moe & Shemp
"Hello handsome." "Somebody come in?!" Marion Martin & Shemp

1945-11-15 MICRO-PHONIES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Remember folks, Gritto spelled sideways is ottri-guh-guh." Moe
"Use Gritto, radio friends; the soap that gives your hands that dishpan look!" Moe
"Oh, a microphon-ey." "And a phony at the mike." Moe & Curly
"Say, you know, Sextet From Lucy?" "Know it? I wrote it!" Larry & Chester Conklin
"$500?!" "Who do we hafta moider?" Larry & Moe
"Did you say money?" "I remember the stuff." Moe & Curly
"Oh, short eyeballs, eh?" Moe
"My dear, would you care to go to the powder room?" "Oh, no, no, she always looks like that." Symona Boniface & Moe
"The senorita's lost her voice." "What is it, laryngitis?" "No, fallen arches." Symona Boniface & Moe

1952-01-03 MISSED FORTUNE, A, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Roses are red, violets are blue..." "You crush his skull, I'll break 'im in two." Shemp & Moe
"I want the upper berth... you get less air up there." Shemp
"Burpo Pudding / What a treat! / Even good for tired feet." Shemp

1946-06-20 MONKEY BUSINESSMEN, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"High Altitude, Low Prices. No matter what you got, you'll lose it at Mallard's." Ad
"What'd you give him?" "Ether." "Ether?" "Yeah. Ether the bottle or the hammer." Moe, Larry & Curly
"Keep smilin', McGann!" Moe
"That Mallard's nothin' but a quack." "That means 'duck'!" Larry & Moe
"Why aren't you more careful when you climb up a ladder?!" "I only climbed up 7 steps!" "The ladder had 6!" Moe & Curly
"We'll get some grease." "Yeah?" "Spill it on the floor." "Yeah?" "And slip by." "Yeah... No!" [bonk!] Curly, Moe & Larry

1944-09-08 MOONLIGHT AND CACTUS, featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)
"5 minutes ashore, and I'll have a beautiful goil on each arm." "G'wan, you can't get tatooed that fast!" Murray Alper & Shemp

1936-02-20 MOVIE MANIACS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"If at first you don't succeed, keep on suckin' til ya do suck seed!" Curly
"Our genius ain't appreciated around here... let's scram!" Moe
"Dear Santy Claus," Curly
"Coitainly I'm sound asleep." "Then why are you talkin'?" "I'm talkin' in my sleep!" Moe & Curly
"Tell me your name so I can tell your mother." "My mother knows my name." Moe and Curly
"You can't quit!" "And why not?" "Cause you're fired!" "You can't fire him!" "Why not?" "He quit!" Moe, Harry Semels & Curly
"Gentlemen, will you join me in a toast?" "I don't like toast... the black stuff gets in my teeth." Bud Jamison & Curly

1946-03-22 MR. NOISY, featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)
"Eye ala Mode - get it?" Shemp
"Strike one, strike two, strike three, strike four, strike five, what kind of a game is this?" Shemp
"Watch him miss it!" Shemp
"Boy, can I call 'em or can I call 'em!?" Shemp

1948-11-04 MUMMY'S DUMMIES, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"I'm Honest Moe, that's Honest Shemp and that's......well that's Larry." Moe
"Some perfume, sister. What brand do you use?" "Sphinx." "I know, but what brand do you use?" Shemp & Jean Spangler
"Whatta we do if he gets a toothache again?" "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Larry & Shemp

1957-02-28 MUSCLE UP A LITTLE CLOSER, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"Seabisquit Food Corporation: Seabisquit Gives You An Appetite Like A Horse!"
"This is a job for a man." "Where are we gonna find one?" Moe & Larry
"Oh a truck hit me!" "You're all sprung!" Larry and Joe
"Matzohs." "Oh, just in time for Thanksgiving." Larry & Moe
"Now we can hock our ring and go on a nice honeymoon, dollface!" Joe
"An involved case of musical cardiac, rock 'n roll type. Lotsa fat around the heart, and plenty of it around the head." Moe

1954-05-13 MUSTY MUSKETEERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"A-calling we do come / To woo our maidens fair / We bring them flowers, and while away hours" "But, get ye not in their hair!" Moe, Larry & Shemp

1938-10-14 MUTTS TO YOU, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Huck mir nisht a chynick, and I don't mean efsher!" Larry
"I don't know. It was my idea, but I don't think much of it." Moe
"Did you ever have your valves ground?" "Coitainly, wid' onions!" Moe & Curly
"That's a fine broth of a boy you have there. Is he on the bottle yet?" "I should say not! He don't smoke, drink nor chew." Bud Jamison & Curly

1934-07-28 MY MUMMY'S ARMS, featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)
"Can I help it if this is my face?" "No, but you can stay in the house, can't 'ya?!" Shemp Howard & Harry Gribbon

1942-09-24 MY SISTER EILEEN, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Hey Moe! I think we made a wrong toin!" Curly

1933-12-04 MYRT AND MARGE, featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges
"Gimme a 3 letter word meaning 'rat'." "Meaning 'rat'?" "Yeah." (Ted points to Curly) "Him." Moe and Ted Healy
"I'll explain everything." "Yeah, Mullins will explain it. Then we'll bring in an interpreter to go over it!" [Slap!] Ted Healy and Curly
"Who are these gentlemen?" "Gentlemen?! Cut out the sarcasm!" Thomas Jackson & Ted Healy
Ted Healy (introducing Chinese girls Bo-Ching and Bo-Ling): Meet Bo-Ching and Bo-Ling. (pointing to Curly): And this is Beau Hunk. Ted Healy

1933-07-06 NERTSERY RHYMES, featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges
"I can see you don't know your arithmetic." "I can see you don't know my father." [smack!!] Bonnie Bonnell & Larry
"Little fly upon the wall, ain't ya got no clothes at all? Ain't ya got no shimmy shirt? Ain't ya got no petti-skirt? Boo fly, ain't ya cold?" Moe
"You don't mind if I interrogate him, do you?" "No, he's kinda young but it's all right." Bonnie Bonnell & Ted Healy

1965-10-01 NEW 3 STOOGES, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly Joe
"I starve easy." "Yeah, you're nuthin' but skin 'n bones... with 7 layers of fat." Curly Joe & Moe
"I'm a poet!" "Yeah, Henry Wadsworth Fat-Fellow." Curly Joe & Moe
"Pick up the dumbbell." "He's pretty heavy." "The other dumbbell!" Moe & Larry
"Ain't she beautiful. A perfect 48-52-48." Moe
"I said right-face!" "This is my right face!" "Boy, are you ugly." Moe & Larry
"There's a hair in this stew!" "Of course there's a hare in there! What'd you expect? After all, it's rabbit stew!" Hal Smith & Curly Joe
"Stroke, stroke, stroke... I'm gonna have a stroke!" Larry
"Put this where it belongs, if you know where it belongs." "... Yeah, I know where it belongs." [smack!] Moe & Larry
"It's just a tiny little buzzer that doesn't work. It's very simple." "Well that makes us even... so are we." [whomp!] Margaret Kerry & Curly Joe

1940-10-04 NO CENSUS, NO FEELING, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Roses are red, and how do you do? Drink four of these, and Woo woo woo woo!" Curly
"We just got a job. We're working for the census." "You mean Will Hays?" Moe and Curly
"Good morning, sir. I'm the census taker. Are you married or happy?" Moe
"What was your family decomposed of?" "Well, I'll tell you. There was a litter of three, and I was the one they kept." Moe and Curly
"Boy, you got brains like Napoleon." "Napoleon's dead." "I know it." Moe and Larry
"She looks like a million." "Aww, she can't be that old." Moe & Larry
"Gimme my four cents." "Will you take five?" "Oh, a bonus -- SURE!" (SLAP) Larry & Moe
"Lake Winnipesaukee... how do you spell that?" "W-O-woof... make it Lake Erie. I got an uncle there." Moe & Curly
"A little heavy on the angora bitters, in fact, I think the goat walked right through it, I'm sure." Moe
"Maybe it's the 4th of July." "The 4th of July, in October?" "You never can tell, look what the did to Thanksgivin'!" Curly & Moe
"I'll take vanilla." "What, you don't like chocolate?" "I still like vanilla." "Well, have some." [smack!] Moe & Curly
"I was one of a litter of 3." "Now, don't tell me you were the one they kept?" "Nah, I was the one they threw away." Moe & Larry

1944-11-24 NO DOUGH BOYS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Oh... then you must be Waki!" "Ah, so... very, very Waki!" Vernon Dent & Curly
"Read that sign!" "Hey, you, no smokin'!" "Well?" "It says you, not me! N'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk!" Moe & Curly
"Is that not a swastika?" "Yes, that is a swastika!" "Is that not a dirty rat?" "Yes, that is a dirty rat!" Moe, Larry & Curly

1940-06-14 NUTTY BUT NICE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow? With silver bells and cockle shells, and one measly petunia!" Curly
"Can you think of anything else?" "No, you've covered it all." "Then I'm not even wounded?" "That's what you think!" [Whomp!] Curly and Moe
"What'll the world do without me? What'll I do without myself?" Curly
"Answer that, Swiss-Cheese." Moe
"Well, doc, I got a terrific pain right here. Every time I squeeze my Adams apple, I can taste cider." Curly
"Is that the sun up there?" "I don't know, I'm a stranger in town." Larry & Curly

1955-02-03 OF CASH AND HASH, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"On those 2 fried eggs over easy... use the fresh ones this time!" Larry
"Deserted house? I don't like deserted houses!" "Why not? Maybe we'll get dessert." Shemp & Larry

1958-12-04 OIL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"Oooh... I hate him!" Joe
"Hey, how'd ya get in my pants?!" "It's a mystery to me." Moe and Joe
"It would take a derrick to lift a ton of blubber like you!" "Aaww, you're just sayin' that." Moe & Joe
"Hey, there's a cow out there. What comes from cows?" "Steak?!" Moe & Larry
"How's he gonna get a cow to sit on a little thing like that?" "How do you think?" "Oh, same way they get 'em to sit on their little cans." Larry & Moe

1939-10-06 OILY TO BED, OILY TO RISE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Hey, don't look now, but I think we're about to be killed. Curly
"If I wasn't so weak from hunger, I'd bat your brains out if you had brains." Moe, to Larry
"Wait a minute...how could a bear get down there?" "It's barely possible." Curly & Moe
"My three daughters, April, May and June." "Hmmm, three of the prettiest months of the year." Eva McKenzie & Curly
"If I didn't need you, I'd exterminate you." Moe
"I'm sawing a saw in half with a saw, see?" Curly
"Oh, took me illiterately." Curly

1947-04-24 OUT WEST, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"The Stooges have landed and have the situation well in hand!" Moe
"I ain't gonna lose my leg, am I Doc? I've had it ever since I was a little kid!" Shemp
"Son, NEVER in the history of motion pictures has the United States Cavalry been too late." Stanley Blystone
"You boys are angels." "Not yet we ain't." Christine McIntyre & Shemp

1957-12-05 OUTER SPACE JITTERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"So you are an earth man?" "Yes, ma'am!" "What a terrible specimen!" Harriet Tarler & Moe
"I've heard of hot lips, but your's sizzle!" Moe
"You're a fat one. I don't think I can get my arms around you." Arline Hunter

1965-01-14 OUTLAWS IS COMING, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly Joe
"Is that a Colt?" "Nah, it's a horse pistol." "A horse pistol?" "Yeh, but I raised it from a Colt." Bill Brauer and Curly Joe
"It's against our religion... Yeah, we're devout cowards!" Curly Joe
"There's only one thing I'd ask for if I had to tangle with that guy." "A fair fight?" "No, a head start." Curly Joe & Larry

1936-06-27 PAIN IN THE PULLMAN, A, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Johnsonnnnn!!" James C. Morton
"I'm Paul Pain, the heartthrob of millions!" "What's a heartthrob?" "A pain in the neck!" James C. Morton, Larry & Curly
"What's that?" "Fillet of sole and heel." Moe & Curly
"I thought she wanted to play Post Office." Curly
"How long do you wear a shirt like that?" "Oh, about down to there." Larry & Curly
"Oh, I just love crab!" "Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk... she don't know it's a toitle." Hilda Title & Curly
"Oh Nelly, you're here at last." "You got me wrong, stranger." [Crack!] Larry & Moe
"You big lummox, what'a'ya tryin' to do? Give me berth-marks?!" Moe
"Nightmares you had to have, huh?" "Yeah, but this was in Technicolor!" [slap!] Moe & Curly

1954-06-03 PALS AND GALS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"A gorilla! Where are we, in Africa?" Shemp

1953-08-15 PARDON MY BACKFIRE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Knives are silent!" Phil Arnold
"Do you like asparagus?" "Love 'em!" "Then here's a couple o' tips for ya." [ploink!] Moe & Larry

1948-02-26 PARDON MY CLUTCH, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"You know fish is great brain food." "You know you should fish for a whale." Larry and Moe
"It's a Columbus." "Never mind who you bought it from, what make is it?" Matt McHugh & Shemp
"Now that you've taken a pill, you gotta skip an hour... get 'im the rope." Moe
"Alright fellas, let's get loaded." "Wait a minute... you know I don't drink." Shemp & Larry
"It can be caused by excessive use of the grey matter of the brain." "Aw, must be something else." "Sure, can't be that." Matt McHugh, Moe & Shemp

1935-08-01 PARDON MY SCOTCH, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Maybe we better humor him." "I'll marry him, if there's enough dough in it." Larry and Curly
"Are you laddies by any chance from Loch Lomond?" "No, we're from Loch Jaw!" Barlowe Borland & Curly
"What'ch'ya try to make for me? A fruit salad!!!?" Billy Gilbert
"The gentlemen are going to do their native dance." "I ain't gonna take my clothes off for anybody!" Grace Goodall & Curly
"It bit me... but I got him!" Curly

1946-09-12 PARDON MY TERROR, featuring Miscellaneous Appearances
"It's warm in heeeeere!!" Gus Schilling

1951-12-06 PEST MAN WINS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"D'ya see any spots before your eyes?" "Nah... but I used to see triangles." Larry & Moe

1943-11-18 PHONY EXPRESS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Buy me some of that stuff. I can't sleep." "You sleep 12 hours a night." "Yeh, but I'm wide awake all day!" Curly and Moe
"That'll pick you right up." "Lay you right down too!" Moe & Curly
"I got it... the Trap!" "You mean I got the trap!" Moe & Curly

1958-06-12 PIES AND GUYS, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"You kleptomaniac!" "If that means what I think it does... I'm guilty." Moe & Joe

1933-10-14 PLANE NUTS, featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges
"She promised to meet me at 10 o'clock. It's now half past eight and she's not here yet!" "I think she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes." Moe and Curly
"Noontime means luncheon for someone / Nighttime means sleep for the same / Daytime means brightness for someone / But to me they all mean the rain." Ted Healy
"Now when the music plays The Gates of Hell Are Open, that's where you walk in." Moe
"What would you do if a girl kissed you?" "I'd kiss her back." "What if she was a real tall girl?" Curly & Moe
"... into my bedroom, and there's two ladies in my bed. What'd'ya think happens?" "What happens?" "I say, one of you broads gotta get out of here." Moe & Ted

1937-10-15 PLAYING THE PONIES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"You told me to race him around the track --- and I did, and I beat him." Curly
"Why don't we get out of this restaurant business, anyway?" "Why don't catfish have kittens?" Larry & Moe

1935-03-29 POP GOES THE EASEL, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Oh! Look at the grouse!" Curly
"I am an artist!" "I am an artist too!" "Oh, a pair of drawers!" Leo White, Larry, and Curly
"Come in!" "Come in!" "I said come in!" [SPLAT!] Bob Burns
"Mister, I haven't tasted food for 3 days." "Well, I wouldn't worry about it... it still tastes the same." Curly & William J. Irving
"What would you do if you held the queen alone?" "It all depends." "Depends on what?" "When the king is expected home." Al Thompson & Larry
"Is this the clay department?" [whap!] Jack Duffy

1934-07-13 PUNCH DRUNKS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Burnt toast and a rotten egg? Whatta ya want that for?" "I got a tapeworm and that's good enough for him!" Curly and Moe
"I lost my ba-lance" "Oh, ya lost your ba-lance, eh?" "Yeah" "Well go find it!" Larry and Moe
"And now kiddies, Uncle Dan will tell you what happened when Fuzzy Bear met Jerry Porcupine at the old hollow tree stump in the woods right next to Peter Rabbit's gingerbread house..." Radio Announcer
"Every time I hear that Weasel tune, something POPS inside of me!" Curly
"I'm in a terrible dilemma." "Yeah, I don't care much for these foreign cars either." Dorothy Granger and Moe
"This is gettin' on my noives!" Curly

1950-01-05 PUNCHY COWPUNCHERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Yesterday was payday, and, boys will be boys." "You mean, NO United States Cavalry?!" "No United States Cavalry." Vernon Dent & Jock Mahoney
"I'll take a milkshake... with sour milk!" Shemp

1958-02-13 QUIZ WHIZZ, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"I invested all our money in Consolidated Fujiama California Smog Bags... filled with smog!" Joe
"Joe, don't tell me you bought the Brooklyn Bridge?!!" "Of course not... that was sold last week." Moe and Joe
"Incidentally, do barbecues have pits?" Joe
"Description? 5 ft. 5, by 5 ft. 5. Color of hair? Skin." Moe
"Have another cigar, Joey-Woey." Gene Roth
"He would like to adopt some nice boys. His name is Montgomery M. Montgomery." "Oh boy, we'll be Montgomery's wards!" Bill Brauer & Joe

1935-02-20 RESTLESS KNIGHTS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"All for one!" "One for all!" "Every man for himself!" Larry, Moe and Curly
"And what were you doing in Paris?" "Oh, looking over the Parasites." Geneva Mitchell & Curly
"What'cha do with the Queen?!" "Maybe he trumped her." [Smack!] Moe and Curly
"Maybe they'll miss us." "That'll be an arrow escape." Larry & Curly
"And I, the Count of Ten?" "No, you are Baron of Grey Matter." Curly & Walter Brennan
"C'mon... even if we can't find the Queen, we can at least get a drink." Larry
"Queenie, he's got the strongest feet in the kingdom." Moe

1946-10-03 RHYTHM AND WEEP, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"This I like. And I get paid for it, too." Larry
"Those two men down there, they're my uncles." "Your uncles? They look like ants." "They've got aunts in their..." [smack!] Curly & Moe
"C'mon, we got some croakin' to do!" Moe

1945-04-17 ROCKIN' IN THE ROCKIES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I'll help you cash 'em in, before someone else gets a chance to cheat you out of 'em." Moe
"Remember pardners, woman is the root of all evil." "Gimme some more of that root!" Moe & Curly
"I'm going crazy!" "Don't brag... we're nuts already!" Tim Ryan & Moe
"It was only a mind bet." "Oh, well in that case we couldn't lose a thing." Curly & Larry

1940-03-08 ROCKIN' THRU THE ROCKIES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Indians? I ain't afraid of Indians! I once shot a Morris chair from underneat' Sittin' Bull!" Curly
"Hey, this fish looks like Moe." "It is Moe!" Curly and Larry
"Where are those three sun-baked hams?!!" Kathryn Sheldon
"The only thing stoppin' me from shooting you birds is, I'm short of bullets." "Oh, I got plenty of bullets. I can lend you... nyyaahh!" Kathryn Sheldon & Curly
"Those dumb clucks wouldn't know a redskin from a sunburn." Dorothy Appleby
"The Walls of Jericho collapsed!" Curly
"A lizard! I mean...a blizzard! An avalanchee!" Curly

1956-06-21 RUMPUS IN THE HAREM, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"P.S. - If you don't get this note, let me know and I'll write you another." Fake Shemp note
"That Emir of Schmow's a cutthroat... suppose he cuts my throat?" "So, you'll look like you have 2 mouths." Larry & Moe

1957-10-17 RUSTY ROMEOS, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"You hold your tongue." "I can't, it's too slippery!" Moe & Joe

1939-06-30 SAVED BY THE BELLE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"You know I'm temperamental." "Yeah, 95% temper, 5% mental." Curly and Moe
"What kind of fool do you take me for?" "Why? Is there more than one kind?" Leroy Mason and Curly
"Hey fellas, look! A four-legged V8!" Curly
"The fat one looks very innocent." "Oh I don't know kid, I've been around." Carmen LaRoux & Curly
"Come, my friends. Eat, drink and be merry." "Woo, woo... where's Mary?" Leroy Mason & Curly
"I'll give them commissions in the Army." "Commissions?! Not me, straight salary or nuthin'!" Leroy Mason & Curly
"I'm gonna send one home to Elaine." Curly

1956-10-04 SCHEMING SCHEMERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"I tell ya Moe, I couldn't find that water shut-off." "Shut-off... shut up!." Larry & Moe

1951-07-07 SCRAMBLED BRAINS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"I've got a brainstorm!" "Anything in his brain is a storm." Larry & Moe
"I'll blow it down his throat." "Blow his head off... I'm gettin' disgusted!" Larry & Moe
"I better have another drink... I can still see her face." Larry
"Hey, you know, I think she's uglier than you are." Larry
"Larry, she won't marry me! She'll call me 'stumpy', I know it!" Shemp

1950-07-06 SELF MADE MAIDS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"I'm crazy about the one with the big bangs. You know, those folded satchels under his eyes. He really sends me!" ''Larraine''

1948-01-08 SHIVERING SHERLOCKS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"C'mon, you had a hallucination." "No, I had a hunk 'o pipe." Moe & Shemp
"Angel... strangers in the house." Kenneth MacDonald
"They're gonna go to work and like it. And if it's absolutely necessary, I'll go to work too." Moe
"If the customers can stand to eat your cookin', so can you!" Moe
"Who's in that can?" "Just garbage!" [smack!] Cy Schindell & Shemp
"Hey, what's that on the stool?" "Must be a stool pigeon." Moe & Shemp

1954-10-07 SHOT IN THE FRONTIER, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Mama loved Papa... Papa loved women... Mama caught Papa with 2 girls in swimmin'." Moe
"I'm a-stayin'... and I'm a-fightin'... to your last breath!" Moe

1947-10-30 SING A SONG OF SIX PANTS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Do you dye?" "No, that's his natural expression." Virginia Hunter & Moe
"We're gonna be paupers... paupers!" "Are you kiddin? We're not even married." Moe & Shemp
"Teddy Hoosevelt?" "You're wrong, quiz-kid." Shemp & Moe
"Were did you get this mess?" "I bought it here." "Oh, what a beautiful messterpiece." Shemp & Vernon Dent

1937-11-26 SITTER DOWNERS, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Come down outta there, Tarzan!" Marcia Healy
"Dynamite? You're not gonna blast?!" "What would you do?" "... I'd blast." Curly and Moe
"I got Stetson. Which one is she?" Curly

1950-11-09 SLAPHAPPY SLEUTHS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"You, are you a good detective?" "Am I? You see this heel?... I ran that down." Gene Roth & Shemp
"Did anyone ever point a gun at you?" "Yeah, but he couldn't shoot me." "How come?" "I had my finger in the barrel!" Gene Roth & Larry
"... that's open to conjecture." "I'll button mine." Gene Roth & Shemp

1946-11-07 SLAPPILY MARRIED, featuring Joe DeRita (Solo)
"Here's one that didn't break." Joe DeRita

1936-12-27 SLIPPERY SILKS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Is this work in competent hands?" "Coitainly, we're all incompetent!" Vernon Dent and Curly
"I'd look stunning in that riding habit." "I think there'd be trouble figuring out which one was the horse." June Gittelson & Curly
"The idea's been in my head since I was 10 years old." "Oh, sorta aged in the wood." Moe & Curly

1934-10-20 SMOKED HAMS, featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)
"The heat in there is in tents." Shemp

1950-12-07 SNITCH IN TIME, A, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Camel's hair brush? Hmmmh... must be da hump." Shemp
"When I want a haircut, I'll go to a barbershop!" Moe

1961-06-21 SNOW WHITE AND THE THREE STOOGES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly Joe
"You're better than we ever were." "Yeah, but he cheats... he's got brains." Moe & Curly Joe
"I love you just as you are, all three of you." "Gee, only our mother ever said that without laughing in our faces." Carol Heiss & Larry
"That last lot of onions you sent us, even a pig wouldn't eat!" "Maybe you just weren't hungry." Herbie Faye & Moe

1941-02-07 SO LONG MR. CHUMPS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Oh, look... a boid's nest!" Curly
"You, with that iron head of yours...! Now, I'm liable to pay for another hammer." Moe
"I wonder where he hangs out?" "They generally hang out on the gallows." Larry & Curly
"Oh, pardon me... there's a white spot!" [Rowrff!] Curly
"Hey, wait a minute, that's a real one. I'm no fool! N'yuk, n'yuk n'yuk." Curly

1942-11-13 SOCK-A-BYE BABY, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"What did you eat when you were a baby?" "Weeds." Moe and Curly
"Gee, I wonder if I looked like that when I was delivered by the stork?" "When you were born, you were delivered by a buzzard." Curly and Moe
"Artichoke." "You too...!" [Rowrrf!] Moe & Curly

1941-12-04 SOME MORE OF SAMOA, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Hi Amos!" "Hi Andy." "How's Light'nin'?" "I don't know, but I think it's gonna strike any minute." Larry & Moe
"The end of your shoe ain't important." "Well this one is... I think it had my toes in it!" Moe & Larry
"Cheer up... we kill or cure." Curly
"Beat me, Daddy, down to the floor!" Curly

1930-09-28 SOUP TO NUTS, featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges
"What is this you're doing?" "The elevator dance." "Elevator dance?" "Yeah, there's no steps to it." Larry & Ted
"Yeah, it was so hot last night, I had to get up and take off my socks." Shemp

1957-04-18 SPACE SHIP SAPPY, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"I don't wanna die! I can't die! I haven't seen THE EDDIE DUCHIN STORY yet! And I did so wanna... [sob]" Joe
"Sunev is Venus spelled backwards, but don'tchu tell somebody, it's a secret!" Benny Rubin
"How's American Can?" "It's slipping too, but Pinpoint Pimple is up 6." "It is? Squeeze it!" Larry & Moe
"We have landed on Sunev!" "And the sunev we leave, the better I'll like it!" Benny Rubin & Joe
"The air-test gauge show the air outside to be the same as on Earth!" "Oh, smog!" Doreen Woodbury & Moe
"Pay strict attention to flora and fauna." "Oh boy, dames!" Benny Rubin & Joe

1943-04-02 SPOOK LOUDER, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I'll knock your head right through your socks! Moe
"Hey fellas! The bear was stranglin' me. He ripped both my arms off. He--" Moe

1953-06-15 SPOOKS!, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Oh, a Be-bopper! Dig that crazy bopper name, eeb eeb eeb... Cool man, real George! Give me some skin! Give me some skin!" Shemp
"Oh no, Dr. Jekyll!" "Dr. Jekyll? We must Hyde!" Norma Randall & Shemp
"Divorce Evidence Manufactured to Your Order" Sign on door
"See, there's somethin' fishy here." "Yeh, you two suckers!" [smack!] Shemp & Moe
"Oohh! What a hideous, monstrous face!" Shemp
"... That great, big chimney-panzee! He looked just like my mother-in-law!" Shemp

1948-03-04 SQUAREHEADS OF THE ROUND TABLE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"So we stuck our little tootsies in the water, and we ducked under the waves we did, ha ha!" Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Some recipe!" "Quiet! *SMACK* Shemp and Moe
"If he was only alive, I'd never hit him again." "No kidding?" "Shaddap!! *SLAP*" Moe & Larry
"How do I know the babe won't scream her head off when she sees me?" "I wouldn't blame her." Shemp & Moe
"The King commands your presence." "We ain't got no presents -- the stores were all closed." Robert Stevens & Shemp
"Take it easy King, millions of women marry Smiths every year." Shemp
"Where's your chivalry?" "I traded it in and got that..." [smack!] Moe & Shemp
"We are three restless knights." "Our days ain't too hot either." Moe & Shemp
"Fruit salad... what'a'ya know!" Shemp
"I can't die, I haven't seen THE JOLSON STORY!" Larry

1938-03-03 START CHEERING, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Who are you guys?!" "You ever hear of the Four Horsemen?" "Yeah." "Well, we're the Three Smart Girls." Gene Morgan & Moe

1955-06-02 STONE AGE ROMEOS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Here's the last known location of the dinosaur." "Ah, c'mon, she's on television. I always watch Dinah Shore." Moe and Larry
"We explored the South Pole." "And the North Pole." "And even a telegraph pole." "Shut up tadpole." Moe, Shemp & Larry
"To verify our theory would require the services of explorers who are indeed intrepid!" "That's us! We're decrepit!" Emil Sitka & Shemp

1950-10-05 STUDIO STOOPS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"I ain't got no directory. I'm outside the building!" Shemp
"I'm Brown from the Sun." "Aww, that's too bad. Are 'ya peelin'?" Stanley Price and Shemp
"Say, when I come back, I'll give 'ya the password." "Brilliant, what'll it be?" "Open the door." [smack!] Larry & Moe
"If you fall off, watch out for the traffic!" "It's alright, the green light's with me." Moe & Shemp
"You wait out here, if we're not out in 5 minutes come and get us." "Yeah!...but you better make it 30 seconds." Moe & Larry
"Keep a stiff upper plate kid!" Moe

1958-09-04 SWEET AND HOT, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"I give him artificial respiration." "Artificial!? For what you charge, you give him the real thing!" Moe & Larry
"Please, open your mouth... I don't want to walk in, I just want to look!" Moe

1946-03-16 SWING PARADE OF 1946, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Hello? Yes... Definitely... Absolutely... Positively, wrong number!" [Click!] Moe
"Get the wrench!" "Wrench?" "Monkey!" "Don't be poisonal!" Ed Brophy, Larry & Curly

1938-04-01 TASSELS IN THE AIR, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"How is it possible to make so much noise painting?" "You don't know us guys, we make noise stuffing a mattress!" Jean De Briac & Moe
"Sure, you can help. Go mix me a batch of spotted paint." Moe
"You mean I'm um-day in pig language?" "You're um-day in any language." Curly and Moe
"A bullseye, aay?" "Yeah, but we got da wrong bulls." Moe & Curly
"Hey, whatta about my hair?!" "I gived it back to you, didn't I?" Larry & Moe
"Somethin's goin' on here boys." "Looks like somethin's comin' off too." Moe & Curly
"Omay's inside... I'm Umday." Curly
"She is the one that said that your work is very recherche." "Oh, anybody's liable to make a mistake." Bess Flowers & Moe

1938-01-07 TERMITES OF 1938, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"At yer service, day or night, we do the job and do it right... Acme!" Moe, Larry and Curly
"Oh, I get it... the noise wakes up the cat, and the cat catches the mouse." Curly
"Clayhamm...!" [whap!] Dorothy Granger
"Did you see a female moth fly thru here?" "Was it a white one?" "Yeh!" "No, I didn't see it." Moe & Curly
"If a Pie-Eyed Piper can call them out, I guess I can sober." Curly

1943-01-01 THEY STOOGE TO CONGA, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Okay, why can't a chicken lay a loaf of bread?" "She ain't got the crust!" Moe and Curly
"So, F.B.I. huh?" "No, I Be Curly!" Vernon Dent and Curly
"You know I get dizzy in high places!" "You're dizzy in LOW places." Curly & Moe
"Look out, look out with that climbing spike!" Moe
"At your service, babe. What's cookin'?" Moe
"Oh, a termite with dandruff!" Curly
"Oh, I bet I can get THE LONE RANGER on this!" Curly
"If we see them, we shoot them between the eyes." "No... in the back." Vernon Dent & ''unknown''

1951-01-04 THREE ARABIAN NUTS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"You're my type, baby. A woman!" Larry
"Ah-ka-sata-na, my-yara-wah, oon-ool-yun-die-ng. Oh, knick knacks." Moe

1952-10-16 THREE DARK HORSES, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"You can be Secretary of the Offense, you'll be Secretary of the Inferior, and I'll be Toastmaster General!" Moe
"We can buy a yacht." "And go fishin'!" "You got worms?" "Yeah, but I'm goin' anyhow." Moe & Larry
"I could eat a horse." "Don't look at me!" "I said a horse, not a jackass!" Moe & Shemp
"Vote for the one and only... that fearless, that honest man! Of the people, by the people, for the people, and against the people!" Shemp
"Don't be a chimp, ya chump! 'Ya can't believe all that stuff... that's a campaign promise!" Moe

1950-09-07 THREE HAMS ON RYE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Thou art face to face with a great thesbian lover." Shemp
"That must be Nick Barker.... he's disguised as a black banana." Shemp
"Listen to me spout Shakespeare! A rose by any other name would smell..." "And so do you!" Moe & Larry

1935-11-28 THREE LITTLE BEERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"How're we gonna shoot golf without guns?" Curly
"Well, Jasper. What did you shoot?" "I shot a seven but they wouldn't give me the money." Moe and Curly
"He's pointin' to where you are!" "You mean he's pointin' to where I was!" Curly and Moe
"C'mon! What's'a'matter with 'ya?... 'Ya nuts?!" Moe
"Now quiet down, will ya? I'm getting better... See, the pieces are gettin' smaller!" Moe
"I just hired three new men, and everything's gonna be alright now... I hope." Tiny Lipson
"Press." "Press." "Pull... eeyuuhh!" Moe, Larry & Curly

1934-12-08 THREE LITTLE PIGSKINS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Boy, did I pick me a double order of skunk!" "She thinks it's ermine." Moe and Lucille Ball
"Let's play post office." "That's a kid's game." "Not the way I play it." Curly & Phyllis Crane
"Is it honest work?" "Does it make any difference?!!!" "No, no... no difference." Harry Bowen, Larry, Moe & Curly
"If you get there first, put a chalk mark." "What'f you get there first?" "Then I'll rub it out." Moe & Larry
"Atwhay areay ouyay oingday onighttay? But you wouldn't know a thing about that, would you?" "Oh, onay." Larry & Lucille Ball
"Did'jya ever hear of Snow, Snow, Beautiful Snow?" "Why yes, did you write that?" "No, I shoveled it." Curly & Phyllis Crane
"Will the lady with the lucky number come and get me please?" Larry
"Oh, a miner." "No, I'm 36... Larry's a minor, he's 44." Gertie Green & Moe
"Are you sure these are the Three Horsemen?" Walter Long
"Don't you know there are ladies present?" [spritz!!!] Lucille Ball

1946-12-05 THREE LITTLE PIRATES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Maha?" "Aha!" Moe and Curly
"Eenie, Meenie, Minee, Moe. See, you can't go wrong with Moe! Heh, heh." "Thanks (slap). Get Busy!" Curly and Moe
"Ye Olde Tilt." Sign on pinball machine
"I have many pigeon-blood rubies, but never have I been given the raspberry." Vernon Dent
"Razbanyas yatee benee futch ah tinney herongha..." Moe
"Sit down you Flatbush flathead!" Moe
"Guaranteed forever." "You should live so long!" [bonk!] Moe & Larry

1939-01-06 THREE LITTLE SEW AND SEWS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I'm gonna change my socks... what an experience!" Moe
"Gasoline don't taste so good since Prohibition. They ain't so careful like when they used it for makin' gin." Curly
"One move out of you, and I'll kill you." "If you do, I'll never talk to you again!" Phyllis Barry & Curly
"Smells like somebody's fryin' onions." Curly

1943-07-09 THREE LITTLE TWIRPS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"You remind me of a girlfriend in Detroit... but you look more like her stepfather!" Curly, to Bearded Lady
"Beat it, Grandpa -- We got no time for kibbitzers." Larry to Moe
"I haven't been to the circus since I got out'a the 4th grade." "Yeah, that was last year." Curly & Moe

1946-07-04 THREE LOAN WOLVES, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Quiet little angel. Quiet, quiet little darling, quiet... or I'll break your neck!" Moe

1938-07-29 THREE MISSING LINKS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"You snore like a roarin' lion!" "I do not! I stayed awake all last night to see if I snored, and I didn't!" Curly & Larry
"I wonder where that safari is? We ought to be up with them by now!" "Maybe they're safari away, we'll never catch 'em." Monte Collins & Curly
"Haven't we got anyone under contract that, uh, looks like an ape?" "No, not even your relatives." James C. Morton & Jane Hamilton
"Darling... I love you! Give me a little kiss, baby!" Curly

1945-01-19 THREE PESTS IN A MESS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Ha, ha, ha, Mammy!!!" "Pappy! [slap!] Larry & Moe

1939-12-01 THREE SAPPY PEOPLE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Why don't you get a toupee with some brains in it!?!" Moe
"I'm just crazy about Spanish food... especially corned beef and cabbage." Curly
"I beg your pardon!" "Oh, you don't have to apologize, you can't help it if you're crazy!" Ann Doran & Curly
"The King shall hear of this!" Ann Doran
"Hors d'oeuvre?" "No, hay fever!" Lorna Gray & Curly
"What's all the fuss?" "I believe I dropped my serviette." "Well, just keep seated, nobody'll notice it." Ann Doran & Curly

1942-07-30 THREE SMART SAPS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Stand aside. Let a guy that can knock, nick knock, n'yuk n'yuk n'yuk!" Curly
"We're not ordinary people... we're morons." Curly
"Do you rhumba?" "Only when I take bicarbonate." Barbara Slater & Curly
"If you didn't have TB, I'd be able to get this around 'ya." "What'a'ya mean TB?" "Two bellies." Moe & Curly
"Exhibit A!" "Exhibit B!" [bonk!] Curly & Moe
"Oh, snooty, eh?!" "Yeah, you gotta have a snoot suit." Curly & Moe

1963-08-21 THREE STOOGES GO AROUND THE WORLD IN A DAZE, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly Joe
"They left it in the swimming pool today." "Oh, I see. The tadpole edition." "Yeah, the tadpole edition." [smack!] Larry & Moe
"Sorry Moe... low bridge." "Pardon me... low mentality." [whap!] Curly Joe & Moe
"That's not a man... that's a committee!" Moe
"His pistol record is shots out of a possible 300." "That's without bullets." Moe & Curly Joe
"Oh, boy! We're going around the world on our wits!" "With your wits, you won't get past the front door." Larry & Moe
"We not soldiers! We technicians." "Uh oh, I've heard that one before." Aki Leong & Moe

1962-07-04 THREE STOOGES IN ORBIT, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly Joe
"What'a'ya usually do when somebody mails you a bomb?!" "I mail it back!" Moe and Curly Joe
"You're headin' for the General!" "Look out, you'll knock 'im on his brass!" Curly Joe & Larry
"I don't know whether to call it a seagoing-helio-tank, a landgoing-helio-sub, or an airborne-what-in-hell..." Emil Sitka

1962-01-26 THREE STOOGES MEET HERCULES, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly Joe
"Uh-oh, a bald-headed screw. I wish I had a bald-headed screwdriver!" Moe
"I'll take the right flank." "I'll take the left flank." "I'll take a tranquilizer!" Moe, Larry & Curly Joe
"A super tranquilizer. It's good for headaches?" "Yeah." "Well, here's a super headache!" [bonk!!] Moe & Curly Joe
"You were never a success at anything - except stupidity!" Moe
"He has got it hooked up all wrong - any idiot can see that." "Well, you oughta know." Moe & Larry
"You know, these old Greek things certainly have lovely curves, haven't they?" "These young Greek things ain't bad, either!" Quinn Redeker & Moe
"But we're outnumbered." "You're outbrained too, but we have to try anyhow." Curly Joe & Moe

1960-04-18 THREE STOOGES SCRAPBOOK, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly Joe
"Looks like a country club for zombies." Curly Joe
"The butler will show you to your tombs... ehm, I mean rooms." Emil Sitka

1946-04-25 THREE TROUBLEDOERS, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Who told you, you need glasses?" "An obstetrician." Moe & Curly
"Are we mice or men?" "Mice!" Moe, Larry, & Curly

1941-06-05 TIME OUT FOR RHYTHM, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Laughing-yet, we are here!" Moe
"The Raja will now take the razor sharp knives and throw them at random!" "Are you Random?" "No, I'm not Random!" [SMACK!] Moe and Larry
"Blind Bat? He can see better than you can!" "Prove it!" "Raja! (holds up silver platter) What's this?" "Half a dollar!" "He's right... I thought it was a dime." Moe, Larry and Curly
"I never forget a face." "Well you better go home sister, because you forgot it today!" Elvia Allman & Moe
"Hey, are you sufferin' from clean underwear?" Moe
"Stupidity!?" "We're technical experts!" Larry & Moe

1951-10-04 TOOTH WILL OUT, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Hi'ya Miss Buckshot." Shemp
"The tuition is $5 apiece, or 3 for $25." "A rare bargain... we'll take the 3." Vernon Dent & Moe
"Easy!!!! The mouth is in the front!" "Oh, they moved it, huh?" Moe & Shemp

1953-05-07 TRICKY DICKS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"How dare you look like someone I hate!" Connie Cezan
"Yeah, but the D.A. says we can't make a case out of 11 bottles." Shemp
"My sister was engaged to a guy with a wooden leg, but she broke it off." "The engagement?" "Nah, the leg." Larry & Moe
"The body of your friend Slug McGurk was found wrapped up in newspapers. Now, I know you can't believe everything you see in the newspapers..." Shemp
"Do you like sugar in your coffee?" "I don't drink coffee." "Well, here's a lump for your cocoa." [klonk!] Moe & Shemp

1959-02-02 TRIPLE CROSSED, featuring Moe, Larry and Joe
"Now no fibs Joey. How many shots?" "None." "None?" "Hit it with my car." Angela Stevens & Joe

1946-03-29 UNCIVIL WAR BIRDS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"You'all done ejaculated a mouthful." Moe
"I'll be more than a Colonel... I'll be a Corporal." Curly

1935-04-26 UNCIVIL WARRIORS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I got sick of the dough, and thought I'd go on the loaf." Curly
"Well being as there's no other place around the place, I reckon this must be the place, I reckon." Curly
"I baked a cake once, but it fell and killed the cat." Moe
"What did you say the name of this cake was?" "Southern Comfort." "Tastes more like Southern Comforter." Moe and Phyllis Crane
"I used to work in a bakery as a pilot" "A pilot?" "Yeah. I used to take the bread from one corner and pilot in the other." Curly and Phyllis Crane
"Do you know what that paper was?" "Hot!" Moe & Curly
"How's yours taste?" "Like a mattress." "Want mine?" "I'm stuffed now!" Moe & Curly
"He's known as 'Bloodhound Filbert', and he can smell a spy a mile away." "I'm glad he can't smell 'em any closer." Bud Jamison & Curly
"Sounds like trouble..." "Sounds like Lieutenant Duck to me!" Moe & Curly
"A victim of coicumstance!" Curly
"Duck, Dodge, Hyde!!" James C. Morton
I was lost, all by MYSELF!! Curly
"Where is Operator 13?" "He swam across the river and died of Potomac poisoning." James C. Morton & Curly

1953-02-05 UP IN DAISY'S PENTHOUSE, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Oh, a screwdriver!" "Nah, that's a sledgehammer." Shemp & Moe
"I'm the best man, and this is a worst." Moe
"What do you think, I'm a squirrel?" "No, your ears are too short." Moe & Shemp

1949-10-06 VAGABOND LOAFERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Sorry folks... dinner's postponed on account'o rain!" Dudley Dickerson
"If I took that painting, may I be struck by a bolt from the blue." [KLANG!] Kenneth MacDonald
"We gotta get a longer jeep." Shemp

1938-07-02 VIOLENT IS THE WORD FOR CURLY, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Don't ya know it's bad etiquette to reach in front of a person when said person is trying to snag a morsel of food?" Moe
"Is it true that time and space are calculated by the direct ratio of interplanetary magnetism to solar radiation?" Beatrice Blinn
"Run lady! Yer team's gettin' all the breaks!" Larry
"Mildew has a lovely student body." "Your's wouldn't be so bad either if you took off about 20 pounds." Gladys Gale & Moe
"20 minutes to the pound. We'll be here a month." Moe
"Football!" "And basketball!" "I can do very nicely with a highball." Moe, Larry & Curly
"Meet me later in the gymnasium, next to the dumbbells... you'll know me, I got a hat." Curly
"Professor Von Stupor?" "Von Stupid? Oh, you must mean him!" Gladys Gale & Larry
"Oh, a frozen dainty, aay!?" Moe
"Yeah, I found a Corona!" "A Corona?" "Yeah! It was a Corona-Corona, but I only found halfa it! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!" [Crunch!] Curly & Moe

1939-02-24 WE WANT OUR MUMMY, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I got an idea! We'll make a mummy out of you!" "But I can't be a mummy, I'm a daddy!" Moe and Curly
"Hey fellas! I found it!" "Found What?" "A Tiskit, A Taskit, that Green and Yellow Basket! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!" Curly, Larry and Moe
"I wonder are we near the place?" "Well, bein' as no other place around the place, I reckon this must be the place, I reckon." Moe and Curly
"'Yanks Win World Series.' Can ya beat that?" "Yeah, and I won five bucks!" "No kiddin'? I had the Cubs, and, ...WHAT???" Dick Curtis and Curly
"I got an uncle in Cairo. He's a cairo-practor." Curly

1938-02-18 WEE WEE MONSIEUR, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I call it 'A Maid On Her Night Out Winding a Grandfather Clock With Her Left Hand!'" Curly
"You Foreign Legion, we American Legion. Brother Legionaires!" Moe
"This'll be worth a fortune after I'm gone." "I should kill you now and find out!" Curly and Harry Semels
"Hi'ya toots. Where've you been all my life?" "Toity-toid and Toid Avenue... I just got over." Curly & Ethelreda Leopold
"Remember the old pool room?" "Yeh." "Well that's a choich now." Curly & Ethelreda Leopold

1955-09-01 WHAM-BAM-SLAM!, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"Only fools are positive!" "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!" Moe & Larry

1942-04-23 WHAT'S THE MATADOR?, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"How dare you hug my wife in front of my eyes!" "Well turn around, and I'll hug 'er behind yer back!" Harry Burns and Curly
"I'll bet he eats soup wid' a knife." Moe
"To the fair queen of the fiesta, I dedicate this bull... and I do mean bull." Curly
"He plays the bullfighter. I play the front of the bull, and he's... he's in the bull too." Moe
"Haunt that house!" "How many rooms?" "Seven." "With bath?" "Go on!" [slap!] Curly & Moe
"Dolores... Dolores?" "Yeah, see Esther." "Ah, siesta!" "You gonna start that again?" [smack!] Don Zelaya, Larry & Moe

1949-03-03 WHO DONE IT?, featuring Moe, Larry and Shemp
"A couple of pip pips, a little barbecue, and what have you!" Shemp
"There was an ugly-lookin' thing starin' right at me. It was horrible! Whaddya know? It was YOU! " Shemp
"We're in a tough spot, men!" "Yeah, its gonna take brains to get us outa here!" "That's why I said we're in a tough spot!" Moe & Larry
"They tied me up and made me listen to singing commercials. I thought I'd go mad!... MAD!" Emil Sitka
"Well, that takes care of Handsome Harold." Shemp
"Somebody left some hypo in there." Shemp
"I'm his niece." "Ooo, the niece is nice." Christine McIntyre & Shemp

1936-09-11 WHOOPS, I'M AN INDIAN!, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"For you I have zee grand surprise!" "So have I, if you only knew it!" Bud Jamison and Curly
"If this was my place, I'd throw ya out of it!" Moe
"You keep my wigwam?" "You keep your own wig warm!" Bud Jamison and Curly
"Oh, deer!" "... I didn't think you cared." "I don't!" [smack!] Moe & Curly

1935-05-04 WHY PAY RENT?, featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)
"Meet the wife, and don't laugh." Shemp

1934-05-05 WOMAN HATERS, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"Don't worry, I got what it takes to cure him." Moe
"And when I'm finished with my crooning, on my knees I'll fall! My life! My love! My all!" Larry
"Mr. Chairman, three gentlemen wait without." "Without what?" Don Roberts & Bud Jamison

1939-05-19 YES, WE HAVE NO BONANZA, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"What kind of a drink is that?" "My own brand, a Western Surprise." "There's no liquor in that!" "That's the surprise!" Moe & Curly
"I come home from a hard day's work...I whistle for the dog....and my wife comes out!" Curly
"Speak to me, kid! Say somethin'!" "Bonanza!" Moe & Curly
"Whoever heard o'gettin' bonds out the ground?" "Why not... 'dem is gold bonds!" "Gee, ain't nature wonderful?!" Curly & Moe
"That's the slowest 6 white horses I ever saw!" "We'll speed 'em up for ya!" [slap!] Curly & Moe

1944-05-26 YOKE'S ON ME, THE, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"I don't see a single cow." "I don't even see a married one." Larry & Curly
"I know he'll become a General in the cavalry. Why, only last week I had to drag him off the merry-go-round." Eva McKenzie
"That's no pelican... that's a gander." "Mahatma Gander?" Moe & Curly
"And little baby gooses too." "I read about 'dem... they come from Germany... the Goosetapo." Larry & Curly
"If you don't stop, I'll give you a pop." "What flavor?" "Five delicious flavors!" [smack!] Moe & Curly
"Kill that gander so we can have some roast goose for dinner." "Oh boy, we're gonna have propagander for dinner!" Moe & Curly
"Hey, pin-up boy, come in here and get to work before I pin your ears back!" Moe

1940-01-19 YOU NAZTY SPY!, featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
"We must lend our neighbors a helping hand! We must lend them two helping hands, and help ourselves to our neighbors! Moe
"Wait a minute, how can you shoot her with dice?" "They're loaded." Moe and Curly
"To you, I give Mickey-Finland." "If I get Mickey-Finland, I'd better be rushin'." "Then quit Stalin." Moe, Larry and Curly
"A Dictator? Why, he makes love to beautiful women, drinks champange, enjoys life and never works. He makes speeches to the people promising them plenty, gives them nothing, then takes everything! That's a Dictator." "Hmm, a parasite! That's for me!" Lynton Brent and Curly
"We must throw off the yoke of monarchy, and make our country safe for hypocrisy!" Moe
"Mattie Herring is here to see you." "Marinate her and send her in." Lorna Gray & Moe
"Why, that's an 8-ball!" "Sit right down behind it." Moe & Lorna Gray

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