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Film Picture

SOUP TO NUTS (1930)
Featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges

"What is this you're doing?" "The elevator dance." "Elevator dance?" "Yeah, there's no steps to it."   (Larry & Ted)
"Yeah, it was so hot last night, I had to get up and take off my socks."   (Shemp)
"I lost my paternity pin."   (Shemp)


Film Picture

NERTSERY RHYMES (1933)
Featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges

"I can see you don't know your arithmetic." "I can see you don't know my father." [smack!!]   (Bonnie Bonnell & Larry)
"Little fly upon the wall, ain't ya got no clothes at all? Ain't ya got no shimmy shirt? Ain't ya got no petti-skirt? Boo fly, ain't ya cold?"   (Moe)
"You don't mind if I interrogate him, do you?" "No, he's kinda young but it's all right."   (Bonnie Bonnell & Ted Healy)


Film Picture

BEER AND PRETZELS (1933)
Featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges

"Here I go with another load."   (Ted Healy)
"He's got five dollars!!!!"   (Curly)
"I heard you tell that girl you were gonna put her name up in electric lights." "Is that what I said? You know, I was thinking of something else."   (Larry & Ted)
"If I'm lying, I hope you drop dead!"   (Ted Healy)


Film Picture

PLANE NUTS (1933)
Featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges

"She promised to meet me at 10 o'clock. It's now half past eight and she's not here yet!" "I think she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes."   (Moe and Curly)
"Noontime means luncheon for someone / Nighttime means sleep for the same / Daytime means brightness for someone / But to me they all mean the rain."   (Ted Healy)
"Now when the music plays The Gates of Hell Are Open, that's where you walk in."   (Moe)
"What would you do if a girl kissed you?" "I'd kiss her back." "What if she was a real tall girl?"   (Curly & Moe)
"... into my bedroom, and there's two ladies in my bed. What'd'ya think happens?" "What happens?" "I say, one of you broads gotta get out of here."   (Moe & Ted)


Film Picture

MEET THE BARON (1933)
Featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges

"Now remember... one slip of those blindfolds, and you'll feel my wrath!" "Don't try to bribe the boys."   (Edna May Oliver & Ted Healy)


Film Picture

DANCING LADY (1933)
Featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges

"I'm the best musician in the country!" "Yeah, but how are ya in the city?"   (Moe and Larry)
"Listen Paderewski, were them funny noises comin' outta you or the piano?"   (Joan Crawford)
"Put her back where she belongs." "Say, that place has been closed for years."   (Clark Gable & Ted Healy)


Film Picture

MYRT AND MARGE (1933)
Featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges

"Gimme a 3 letter word meaning 'rat'." "Meaning 'rat'?" "Yeah." (Ted points to Curly) "Him."   (Moe and Ted Healy)
"I'll explain everything." "Yeah, Mullins will explain it. Then we'll bring in an interpreter to go over it!" [Slap!]   (Ted Healy and Curly)
"Who are these gentlemen?" "Gentlemen?! Cut out the sarcasm!"   (Thomas Jackson & Ted Healy)
Ted Healy (introducing Chinese girls Bo-Ching and Bo-Ling): Meet Bo-Ching and Bo-Ling. (pointing to Curly): And this is Beau Hunk.   (Ted Healy)
"It's too bad we can't get the mother to acquiesce." "Maybe her mother does... why don't you ask her?" [slap!]   (Ted Healy & Curly)
"You know what I'll bet, these girls will understand me. Savvy? Savvy Confuscious?" "Why bring sex into this?" [slap!]   (Ted Healy & Curly)
"I won't say au revoir because I know you won't understand me, but as I walk out I'll have a piece of mistletoe on my coattail."   (Ted Healy)
"We want a young comic, one that'll sing and dance and hand out some good, old-fashioned belly laughs." "You'll never get one funnier than I am." "Look at the start you got with that face."   (Myrtle Vail, Jimmy Conlin & Larry)
"We was the hit of the show!" "Of course there was only 3 acts." "And 2 of the acts was detained elsewhere."   (Larry, Curly & Moe)
"Hey fellas, do you know The Road to Mandalay?" "Yeah, do you want us to play it?" "No, I want you to take it."   (Ted Healy & Moe)
"I never attended a Strawberry Festival, but I attended a meatball." "Alone?" "No, with spaghetti."   (Ted Healy & Mytle Vail)
"Don't get nervous like I was. I shook so, my handcuffs fell off."   (Ted Healy)
"You know what a burden is don'tcha?" "Yeah, a burden the hand is worth two in the bush."   (Ted Healy & Larry)
"What does he look like?" "Well, I don't remember his face but I know he had had appendicitis."   (Ted Healy & Bonnie Bonnell)


Film Picture

PUGS AND KISSES (1934)
Featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)

"What do'ya think I am, a sissy?! I got hair on my chest!"   (Shemp)


Film Picture

HOLLYWOOD ON PARADE # B-9 (1934)
Featuring Ted Healy and His Stooges

"Your fairy godmother always watches over you." "I've got an uncle I'm not sure of."   (Ted Healy & Bonnie Bonnell)


Film Picture

CORN ON THE COP (1934)
Featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)

"My corns are killing me." "Why don't you do something for them?" "Why should I? They never did anything for me!"   (Shemp Howard & Harry Gribbon)
"My uncle made a fortune in corn... at $10 a gallon."   (Shemp)


Film Picture

WOMAN HATERS (1934)
Featuring Moe, Larry and Curly

"Don't worry, I got what it takes to cure him."   (Moe)
"And when I'm finished with my crooning, on my knees I'll fall! My life! My love! My all!"   (Larry)
"Mr. Chairman, three gentlemen wait without." "Without what?"   (Don Roberts & Bud Jamison)
"W.H.? What does that mean?" "uhhh... Wonderful honeymoon!"   (Marjorie White & Larry)


Film Picture

ART TROUBLE (1934)
Featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)

"Why don't I come up and see ya sometime when you're in the nude... I mean mood."   (Shemp Howard)
"I paint men and women." "In oil, on canvas?" "No, I paint 'Men' on one door and 'Women' on the other."   (Shemp & Gertrude Mudge)


Film Picture

PUNCH DRUNKS (1934)
Featuring Moe, Larry and Curly

"Burnt toast and a rotten egg? Whatta ya want that for?" "I got a tapeworm and that's good enough for him!"   (Curly and Moe)
"I lost my ba-lance" "Oh, ya lost your ba-lance, eh?" "Yeah" "Well go find it!"   (Larry and Moe)
"And now kiddies, Uncle Dan will tell you what happened when Fuzzy Bear met Jerry Porcupine at the old hollow tree stump in the woods right next to Peter Rabbit's gingerbread house..."   (Radio Announcer)
"Every time I hear that Weasel tune, something POPS inside of me!"   (Curly)
"I'm in a terrible dilemma." "Yeah, I don't care much for these foreign cars either."   (Dorothy Granger and Moe)
"This is gettin' on my noives!"   (Curly)


Film Picture

MY MUMMY'S ARMS (1934)
Featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)

"Can I help it if this is my face?" "No, but you can stay in the house, can't 'ya?!"   (Shemp Howard & Harry Gribbon)
"I had the 7-years' itch once and scratched it out in a week."   (Shemp)
"He must've met with a terrible accident. Look at the way he's bandaged up! ...What's that 5000BC?" "That must be the number of the truck that hit him!"   (Shemp & Harry Gribbon)
"Did you ever ride a donkey?" "No." "Well, you better get onto yourself."   (Shemp & Harry Gribbon)


Film Picture

MEN IN BLACK (1934)
Featuring Moe, Larry and Curly

"Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard!"   (P.A. Announcer)
"Let's plug 'im and see if he's ripe!"   (Larry)
"For duty and humanity!"   (Moe Larry and Curly)
"We graduated with the highest temperatures in our class."   (Larry)
"What did you do for patient in 72?" "Nothing! What'd he ever do for us!"   (Del Henderson & Curly)
"Look!... Great big, giant, green canaries!!!"   (Billy Gilbert)
"Should I give him sodium amytal?" "Nah, give 'im a Coca-Cola."   (Ruth Hiatt & Larry)
"She's in a coma." "I am not... I'm in a bed."   (Bud Jamison & Little Billy Rhodes)
"What is it, heads or tails?" "Gnug!" "What?" "Gnug!" "Is that it?" "Coitainly!"   (Larry, Curly & Bobby Callahan)
"How old are you?" "I'm 35." "Nah, you couldn't get that fresh in 35 years."   (Larry, Little Billy Rhodes & Curly)
"Doctor! We're mighty proud of you, you've done a wonderful thing for humanity, and when we leave here, we're goin' right down to the president's office and..." "We won't say a word about it!"   (Moe & Curly)


Film Picture

SMOKED HAMS (1934)
Featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)

"The heat in there is in tents."   (Shemp)


Film Picture

THREE LITTLE PIGSKINS (1934)
Featuring Moe, Larry and Curly

"Boy, did I pick me a double order of skunk!" "She thinks it's ermine."   (Moe and Lucille Ball)
"Let's play post office." "That's a kid's game." "Not the way I play it."   (Curly & Phyllis Crane)
"Is it honest work?" "Does it make any difference?!!!" "No, no... no difference."   (Larry, Harry Bowen, Moe & Curly)
"If you get there first, put a chalk mark." "What'f you get there first?" "Then I'll rub it out."   (Moe & Larry)
"Atwhay areay ouyay oingday onighttay? But you wouldn't know a thing about that, would you?" "Oh, onay."   (Larry & Lucille Ball)
"Did'jya ever hear of Snow, Snow, Beautiful Snow?" "Why yes, did you write that?" "No, I shoveled it."   (Curly & Phyllis Crane)
"Will the lady with the lucky number come and get me please?"   (Larry)
"Oh, a miner." "No, I'm 36... Larry's a minor, he's 44."   (Gertie Green & Moe)
"Are you sure these are the Three Horsemen?"   (Walter Long)
"Don't you know there are ladies present?" [spritz!!!]   (Lucille Ball)
"Got anything?" "Nah." "Oh, laying down, aay?" [smack!] "Did you get anything?" "No." "Oh, a slacker!" [smack!] "Wait a minute! Did you get anything?" "Yeah, didja?" "No! Does it make any difference?" "No, no..."   (Moe, Larry & Curly)


Film Picture

DIZZY & DAFFY (1934)
Featuring Shemp Howard (Solo)

"The only Dean I know is Gunga."   (Shemp)


Film Picture

HORSES' COLLARS (1935)
Featuring Moe, Larry and Curly

Moe, Larry, the cheese! Moe, Larry, the cheese!!!   (Curly)
"Ooohh, a woman! Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!!!"   (Curly)
"What about the money?" "G'wan, that's a tin roof." "What'aya mean?" "A tin roof... it's on the house."   (Nelson McDowell, Larry & Curly)
"Every time he sees a mouse he goes crazy." "Why?" "'Cause his father was a rat."   (Larry, Fred Kelsey & Moe)
"If you wuz alone I'd punch ya right in the nose!" "So why don'tcha do it?" "Well... I'm with you."   (Curly & Moe)
"Boy, you got brains." "Thank you, thank you." "Don't let 'em go to your head."   (Moe, Curly & Larry)


Film Picture

RESTLESS KNIGHTS (1935)
Featuring Moe, Larry and Curly

"All for one!" "One for all!" "Every man for himself!"   (Larry, Moe and Curly)
"And what were you doing in Paris?" "Oh, looking over the Parasites."   (Geneva Mitchell & Curly)
"What'cha do with the Queen?!" "Maybe he trumped her." [Smack!]   (Moe and Curly)
"Maybe they'll miss us." "That'll be an arrow escape."   (Larry & Curly)
"And I, the Count of Ten?" "No, you are Baron of Grey Matter."   (Curly & Walter Brennan)
"C'mon... even if we can't find the Queen, we can at least get a drink."   (Larry)
"Queenie, he's got the strongest feet in the kingdom."   (Moe)


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