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Average Rating:     [7.02/10]   40 votes

HALF-WITS HOLIDAY

Two professors take a page from George Bernard Shaw and settle a behaviorism dispute on heredity vs. environment by trying to reform three slovenly, crass handymen, played, of course, by the Stooges. A several-thousand-dollar bet is made, and Prof. Quackenbush sets to training his three Lizas. Several months pass, and the newborn gentlemen attend a dinner party. They behave themselves for about two minutes.



A reworking of HOI POLLOI (1935); often labelled as a remake, it is not. The plots are the same, but the films' scenes are different. HOLIDAY was indeed remade as PIES AND GUYS (1958), with Joe Besser.

This short is marred by being Curly's last; he suffered a crippling stroke and was forced to retire. Shemp replaced him one month later in FRIGHT NIGHT.

The script for the original, unfilmed version of the pie fight, with Curly, is transcribed in The Three Stooges Journal # 105 (Spring 2003).

IMDb Rating

HALF-WITS HOLIDAY on IMDb

Featuring
Moe, Larry and Curly
Release Date
January 09, 1947
Studio
Columbia
Production Type
Short Subject
Duration
17.67 min.
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Cast Members   Production Crew

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Production Notes   (3)
Working Title(s):   NO GENTS --- NO CENTS
Prod. No.:   4056
Shooting Days:   4 days   From: 1946-05-02   To: 1946-05-06

Stooge Mayhem   (Avg. 7.25)
Face Slaps: 9 Eye Pokes: 0 Head Bonks: 0 Pastry Thrown: 20

Stooge Quotes   (11)
  • "Completely illogical, preponderantly impracticable, and moreover - it stinks!"
    (Vernon Dent)

  • "Oh, see the deer. Has the deer a little doe?" "Yeah, two bucks!"
    (Curly & Larry)

  • "You act as though the Sword of Damocles was hanging over your head." "Lady, you must be psychic!"
    (Symona Boniface & Moe)

  • "So different than our first party at the reform school."
    (Larry)

  • "You don't know your arithmetic." "You don't know my father."
    (Ted Lorch & Larry)

  • "We are morons, tried and true, and we'll do our yell for you!... Duh-blah-goo-gah-duh-yaa..."
    (Moe, Larry & Curly)

  • "My lamb chop lost his pants." "Well, dress 'im and eat 'im."
    (Larry & Moe)

  • "Your drink madam." [splat!] "Pardon me madam."
    (Emil Sitka)

  • "There ain't been a gentleman in our family for fifty generations!"
    (Larry)

  • "Stop it! Stop it this minute, you disgraceful vagabonds!"
    (Helen Dickson)

  • "The world speaks of one missing link, but I swear there are three."
    (Vernon Dent)


Stooge Goofs   (6)
  • Changing Hands
    Curly is holding Mrs. Smythe-Smythe's hand with his left hand when he begins biting the diamond off of her ring, but then the camera cuts to a closer shot of Curly and he's suddenly holding Mrs. Smythe-Smythe's hand with his right hand.

  • Early Falling Knife
    When Curly says â€Å"I lost the combination. Nyuk, nyuk!”, Moe and Larry are supposed to bonk him on the head and tons of silverware is supposed to fly out of his suit, but a knife falls out of Curly's suit right before Moe and Larry even hit him.

  • Haven't We Met Before?
    Just after the scene where the Moe catches Curly with the silverware, Miss Lulu is talking with Mrs. Smythe-Smythe, who mentions she is interested in talking to the boys about the experiment. Miss Lulu tells her "well they're here, I know they will be very happy to speak to you". Its strange that Lulu says this, because Mrs. Smythe-Smythe knows the boys are there since Lulu has already introduced them to her.

  • Sudden Change
    After Moe accidentally hits Ted Lorch in the stomach with the hammer, Lorch is holding his stomach and saying "I'm all right." However in the next shot, Lorch's hands are suddenly at his side.

  • Visible Wire
    You can see the wire pulling down the pie from the ceiling.

  • Where Did They Go?
    When Moe pulled the rug out from under the guest to hide the silverware, the man hit the floor very hard. But barely two seconds later, Prof. Quackenbush comes through the doorway, and there is no sign of the man, or the woman who was standing next to him.


Stooge Routines   (7)

Stooge Trivia   (2)
  • During filming, Curly suffered a massive stroke on May 6, 1946, that impaired his health for the rest of his life.
    Source: The Three Stooges Scrapbook
    Added by archiezappa on 2009-03-23 09:44:03
    Status: Confirmed

  • This was Emil Sitka's first film with the Three Stooges.
    Source: The Three Stooges Scrapbook
    Added by archiezappa on 2009-03-23 09:49:24
    Status: Confirmed


Audio Files   (2)
  • Amalgamated Association of Morons
    Wave Sound (51.26 Kb)
    "Amalgamated Association of Morons, Local 6 and 7/8's"

  • AAM Chant
    Wave Sound (90.54 Kb)
    "We are morons, tried and true; and we'll do our yell for you: NYYAHHH!"


Video File   (Y)


Transcript   (Y)

Transcription by Moron4392:  

{This short marks a really sad moment in the world of "Three Stooges Fans." This is the last and final short, (except for his small cameo role in "Hold That Lion!"), for the wonderfully talented, 'Stooge.' 'BABE, CURLY, JEROME LESTER HORWITZ.' To me it also marks a happy moment. We are being introduced to the wonderful, fresh and new comedian talents of the 'Foil,' 'EMIL JOSEF SITKA.'}: (My favourite):

This short starts off where see Professor Sedletz and Professor Quackenbush sitting at Professor Quackenbush's desk arguing about what makes social distinction.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Quackenbush is sitting there with a look of wonderment on his face as he is pointing a finger at Professor Sedletz and is using a serious tone of voice): "I say environment!"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Sedletz is sitting there with his legs crossed and is tapping his finger on Professor Quackenbush's desk and has a really dignified look on his face and answers Professor Quackenbush in a quiet but yet some what mad tone of voice): "Heredity, heredity, is the very foundation of social distinction!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Quackenbush is still sitting there with a perplexed look on his face as he is talking to Professor Sedletz who is looking back at him with a mad look on his face as Professor Quackenbush says to him in a serious but yet slightly mad tone of voice): "E-N-V-I-R-O-N-M-E-N-T!"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Sedletz is sitting there with one arm on Professor Quackenbush's desk and has a mad look on his face and is shouting back to Professor Quackenbush in an argumentive state): "H-E-R-E-D-I-T-Y!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Quackenbush is sitting there with a mad look on his face and a serious tone of voice says to Professor Sedletz): "Your theory, my dear Professor Sedletz, is completely illogical, preponderantly impracticable, and more over it stinks!"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Sedletz has a look of mischief on his face and is waving a hand as he says to Professor Quackenbush in a playful tone of voice): "Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta, poof-poof, to say nothing of pithel. I'll wager you a thousand dollars that my theory is correct."

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Quackenbush is answering Professor in a jokingly and mischievous tone of voice as Professor Quackenbush is now shaking hands with Professor Sedletz to seal the deal and says): "Poo-poo and hubba-hubba. I'll except that bet and I'll take a man from the lowest straight of life and in two months, through 'environment,' make him a 'gentleman'."

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Sedletz is sitting there still with his legs crossed and has a mischievous look on his face and is laughing loudly and hysterically at Professor Quackenbush to what Professor Quackenbush has just said): "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, we shall see, we shall see!"

We now see Mr. Sappington the Butler opening Professor Quackenbush's office door as Moe, Larry, and Curly are now entering in to fix the plumbing.

BUTLER SAPPINGTON to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As Butler Sappington is walking into Professor Quackenbush's office at a brisk pace and is shouting to Moe, Larry, and Curly in a dignified but yet mad tone of voice): "Shake it, shake it, you see, come on, come on!"

As Moe, Larry, Curly, and Butler Sappington are walking into Professor Quackenbush's office and they are arguing, Butler Sappington has now noticed Professor Quackenbush and Professor Sedletz sitting at Professor Quackenbush's desk.

BUTLER SAPPINGTON to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH and PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (In a very apologetic tone of voice and an apologetic look on his face says): "Oh, excuse me, sir, the plumbers!"

We now see Professor Sedletz and Professor Quackenbush sitting there with looks of wonderment on their faces as they are watching Butler Sappington taking Curly, Larry, and Moe over to the fireplace and is yelling at them about doing a completely bad repair job.

BUTLER SAPPINGTON to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As Butler Sappington has a look of madness on his face and a mad tone of voice says): "Come on, you men connected this gas log backwards yesterday, now please fix it properly!"

As Butler Sappington was hollering at Moe, Larry, and Curly they were standing there holding their plumbers bags with serious but yet mischievous looks on their faces.

LARRY to BUTLER SAPPINGTON: (As we also see Curly and Moe standing there with looks of dazement on their faces as they are nodding their heads in agreement to what Larry said): "Don't worry, we always fix it right the second time!"

As we see Moe, Larry, and Curly standing there talking with Butler Sappington, we now see Professor Sedletz and Professor Quackenbush sitting at Professor Quackenbush's desk staring at Moe, Larry, and Curly with their eyes bugging out of their heads as they are watching them in a total state of wonder.

MOE to CURLY and LARRY: (As Moe is looking at Curly and Larry with a serious look on his face and says in a serious tone of voice): "All right boys, let's get busy!"

As Butler Sappington is exiting we see Curly and Larry tossing their plumbers bags down and are hitting Moe hard on the foot with them. Moe is now rubbing his foot in pain as he is yelling, 'Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh,' as Moe is now hitting Curly and Larry hard on their faces and then are socking Curly and Larry hard in their stomachs and then Moe konks them hard on their foreheads in a full blown state of madness.

We are now back of Professor Sedletz and Professor Quackenbush as Professor Quackenbush is looking at Professor Sedletz in a state of wonderment as he is leaning towards Professor Sedletz and is whispering to him in a worried tone of voice as Professor Sedletz is sitting there looking at Professor Quackenbush in a state of dazement.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (In a state of wonderment whispers): "The world speaks of one missing link, but I swear there are three."

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Sedletz is sitting there with a look of puzzlement on his face and is whispering to Professor Quackenbush in a state of dazement): "Yes!"

We are now back on Moe, Larry, and Curly as they are standing in front of the fireplace as Larry and Curly are looking at Moe with looks of wonder on their faces.

MOE to LARRY and CURLY: (In a serious manner says as he is taking the chisel from Larry's hand and Moe is handing Curly a large metal mallet): "We're gonna cut that pipe with a chisel. I'll hold the chisel, (TO CURLY): you hammer away, (TO LARRY): Larry, you guide him!"

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry is mumbling to Moe in a low and mad tone of voice): "Okay!"

We now see Moe bent over the fireplace with the chisel on the gas pipe as Curly is taking the mallet and is hitting it on the chisel as Larry is guiding Curly's hand.

MOE to CURLY and LARRY: (As Moe is kneeling down by the fireplace with the chisel on the pipe says): "Get it right now."

LARRY to CURLY: (As Curly is now positioning the mallet on the chisel and Larry is guiding Curly with his hand and is saying in a serious voice): "All right, square off, little to the left!"

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe si still kneeling there with the chisel in his hand and is using a serious tone of voice as he shouts to Curly): "A little to the left."

LARRY to CURLY: (As Larry has a happy look on his face and says to Curly in a happy tone of voice as Larry is standing there bent over behind Curly shouts): "Okay!"

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is still bent down and holding the chisel on the pipe says in a serious tone of voice): "Okay!"

We now see Curly swinging the large mallet and is hitting Larry hard in the face with it and then Curly hits Moe hard on his hand. Larry is now falling backwards in pain as he is rubbing his face and Moe is still kneeling by the fireplace rubbing his hand in pain.

MOE to CURLY: (As Larry is standing there yelling, 'Yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh,' in pain and and rubbing his sore face and Moe is now thoroughly mad at Curly for hitting his hand is now taking the mallet and is hitting Curly hard on his head with the mallet. Curly is now standing there jumping and yelling loudly, 'Yooow, yooow, yooow, yooow,' in pain. Moe is looking at Curly with a demented mad look on his face as he is jumping up and down in pain and madness on his face as Moe is yelling madly at Curly): "Why you, I bet you're crazy ain't ya?"

Moe is still in his full blown state of wicked madness as he is now hitting Larry hard in the face and head with the mallet. Curly is now jumping around in total pain as with Larry as they are rubbing their faces. Curly and Larry are yelling, 'Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, in pain.

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry has a hurt look on his face and is shouting to Moe in a very hurtful tone of voice): "Oh, wait a minute!"

MOE to CURLY and LARRY: (As Moe is shouting at them in a state of madness and a low tone of voice as he is referencing about Larry's had guiding and Curly hitting Moe on the hand): "A little to the left, eh!?"

All the while that Moe, Larry, and Curly were fighting amongst themselves we see both Professor Sedletz and Professor Quackenbush watching them in states of wonderment and with looks of wonder on their faces.

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Sedletz is looking at Professor Quackenbush with a serious look on his face as Professor Sedletz is pointing a finger at Professor Quackenbush as Professor Quackenbush is still looking at Moe, Larry, and Curly in a state of wonderment as Professor Sedletz says): "There are your Guinea Pigs Professor, if you can make 'gentlemen' out of them, you'll go down in posterity as haven proved the 'Darwin Theory'."

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Quackenbush is looking at Professor Sedletz with a look of dazement as he says to Professor Sedletz in a tone of voice I will do it): "Quiet so, Professor Sedletz."

We are now back on Moe, Larry, and Curly as they are still standing in front of the fireplace as Curly is looking at Moe with a look of worry on his face as Moe is standing there holding the mallet and is giving Curly a mad look. Larry is looking at Moe with his hands raised and has a look of worry on his face also.

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is looking at Curly with a mad look on his face and says to Curly in a serious tone of vocie as Curly is rubbing his hand and is looking at Moe in a state of awe): "I'll show you how an expert does it, Lunkhead!"

MOE to LARRY: (As Curly is standing there waving a hand in madness and says, 'Hunhn,' as he is giving Moe a mad look): "I'll do the pitchin', you do the catchin,' Larry, come on!"

We now see Curly standing there looking at Moe and Larry as Larry is kneeling down at the fireplace and is putting the chisel on the pipe as Moe is getting ready to hit the chisel.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As they are getting up from the desk both with looks of mischief on their faces as Professor Quackenbush says): "Let us interview them!"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (In a very seious and low voice tone): "Yes!"

We now see Professor Sedletz and Professor Quackenbush approaching Moe, Larry, and Curly as Larry is still holding the chisel and Curly is standing there watching the whole thing in dazement. Moe does not see Professor Sedletz and Professor Quackenbush approaching them as Moe has now swong the mallet and is hitting Professor Sedletz hard in the stomach, (as we hear a bass drum sound).

Professor Sedletz is now doubled over in pain with a painful look on his face and is shouting in pain, 'Ooouh, ooouh, ooou, ooouh'. Professor Quackenbush is now holding Professor Sedletz's arm in a state of carryingness as we now see Moe, Larry, and Curly approaching Professor Sedletz in a worried state and with looks of worry on their faces.

MOE to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Sedletz is standing there with his hand on his stomach and still in pain. Curly, Larry, and Professor Quackenbush are looking at him with painful looks on their faces as Moe is removing his hat and says to Professor Sedletz in an apologetic tone of voice): "I'm sorry bub, but you should of honked your horn before you approached!"

We now see Professor Sedletz standing there with his hands on his stomach from pain as he has a look of pain on his face as Curly and Professor Quackenbush are standing there looking at him with worried looks on their faces.

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Quackenbush is looking at him with a worried look on his face as Professor Sedletz says): "Oh, I'm all right!"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to LARRY: (As Professor Sedletz is talking to Larry in a serious tone of voice asks Larry): "You with the matress head, now if I gave you a dollar, and your father gave you a dollar, how many dollars would you have?"

LARRY to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Larry is giving Professor Sedletz a look of mischief and has a mischievous tone of voice answers): "One dollar!"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to LARRY: (As he is looking at Larry in a state of dumbfoundedness as he is saying to Larry): "You don't know your arithmetic."

LARRY to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Larry is standing there smiling mischievously at Professor Sedletz says): "You don't know my father."

As Professor Sedletz is standing there with a serious look on his face and in a serious manner and is giving Larry his math test we see Professor Quackenbush standing there looking at Larry with a look of dazement. As Curly is standing there holding his hat and has a look of dazement on his face as Moe is looking at Larry with a sheepish but yet mischievous look on his face as he is slightly laughing at Larry's answer.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to CURLY, MOE, and LARRY: (As he is giving them a look of seriousness and is asking them in a serious tone of voice): "How would you boys like to make a thousand dollars?"

MOE to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As we see Curly and Larry looking at him with looks of dazement on their faces as Curly is holding his hat, Moe his hammer, and Larry the chisel. Moe is looking at Professor Quackenbush with a devilsh look on his face as he asks mischievously): "Who do you have to moider?"

We now see Professor Quackenbush and Sedletz standing there looking at Curly, Larry, and Moe with looks of determination on their faces.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (In a serious tone of voice and a look of determination on his face says): "Oh, nothing like that, all you have to do is let me make 'gentlemen,' of you!"

We now see Moe, Larry, and Curly cringing. Curly has covered his face with his hands. Moe is looking at Professor Quackenbush in scared state with his eyes bugging out and his mouth wide open. Larry is backing up with a really hurt and scared look on his face.

LARRY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As he has a really hurt and scared look on his face and is using hand gestures to support scaredness and is using a really scared tone of voice says as Moe, Larry, and Curly are backing away totally frightened): "No, no, not that!"

CURLY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Curly has a really sad and hurt look on his face as he is using hand gestures for scaredness and is saying in a low, hurtful tone of voice): "Our father would never forgive us!"

LARRY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Larry still has a hurt and mad look on his face and is using a scared tone of voice says): "There ain't been a 'gentleman,' in our family for fifty generations!"

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is turning and looking at Larry with a mischievous look on his face and mischief in his voice as he is slightly smiling says): "Quit braggin'."

As Larry, Curly, and Moe were having their discussion with Professor Quackenbush. Professor Sedletz and Quackenbush were looking at Curly, Larry, and Moe in wonderment.

MOE to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Larry, Curly, and Moe are hanging their heads in shame and have shameful looks on their faces as Moe says in a shameful and sad tone of voice): "Okay, for a thousand bucks, we'll even become 'gentlemen'."

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (As Larry, Curly, and Moe are still hanging their heads in shame, Professor Sedletz is looking at them with a look of wonderment on his face as Professor Quackenbush is using hand gestures to support agreement as he has a look of wonderment on his face says): "Then it's settled, please sit down!"

We now see Professors Quackenbush and Sedletz exiting towards the davenport as Larry, Moe, and Curly are slowly and shamefully walking towards a coffee table.

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is looking at Larry with a look of hurt on his face says): "It's a good thing that Kilroy wasn't here!"

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry is looking at Moe in a hurtful but yet slightly shameful tone of voice): "Yeah, we'd be disgraced for life!"

We now see Moe, Larry, and Curly sitting down on the coffee table with looks of shame and wonder on their faces as Professor Sedletz and Quackenbush are looking at them with dazement on their faces.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (As he has look of puzzlement on his face, and Moe, Larry, and Curly are looking at Professor Quackenbush with dazed looks as Professor Quackenbush and Sedletz state): "Now, please cross your knees!"

We now see Professor Sedletz and Quackenbush watching Moe, Larry, and Curly in mischief and wonderment as Moe, Larry, and Curly are now following Professor Quackenbush's command with looks of puzzlement and slight sadness on their faces.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY: (As he is taking the chisel from Larry asks): "May I borrow this?"

Professor Quackenbush has now hit Larry on his knee to check his reflexes, Moe's leg kicks forward. Professor Quackenbush is now giving Professor Sedletz a look of wonderment and dazement. Professor Quackenbush has now hit Moe's knee to check his reflexes, which now has caused Larry to kick his leg forward.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Quackenbush is looking at Professor Sedletz with a look of amazement on his face as Professor Sedletz is looking at him with a look of awe on his face as Larry and Moe are looking at Professor Sedletz with looks of worry on their faces as Professor Quackenbush says): "Remarkable, my dear Sedletz!"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Sedletz has a look of wonderment on his face and says in a perplexed but yet serious tone of voice): "Inconceivable, my dear Quackenbush!"

We now see Professor Sedletz and Quackenbush approaching Curly with really dazed looks on their faces and questionable tone of voices. Curly is sitting there with a blank look on his face as he is watching Professor Quackenbush hit his knee with the chisel to test his reflexes, but no results. Professor Sedletz is now hitting Curly on his knee with the side of his hand to test his reflexes, but once again no results. Professor Quackenbush is now hitting Curly hard on his head with the chisel which has caused Curly to kick his leg forward and getting Professor Sedletz square in the chin. Professor Sedletz is now on his kness and has a horrible look of pain on his face as he is rubbing his chin and saying in pain, 'Yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh'.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Sedletz is now standing up and is still rubbing his hurt face as Professor Quackenbush is looking at him and says in a mischievous tone of voice as Professor Quackenbush hits Curly once again on his head says): "There is definite vacancy of the cranium."

CURLY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Larry and Moe are looking at Professor Quackenbush with worried looks as Curly is looking at him with a smile on his face and says in a happy tone of voice): "Gee, thanks!"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Sedletz is looking at Professor Quackenbush with a serious look on his face and is pointing a finger at him as Professor Quackenbush is looking at him with a hurt and worried look on his face as Professor Sedletz says): "You've made the bet, you're stuck with them, I'll be back to collect my money in sixty days!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Quackenbush is giving Professor Sedletz a really serious but yet slightly mischievous look as he responds mischievously): "Ah, no, no, I'll win!"

We now see Moe, Larry, and Curly still sitting on the coffee table looking at Professor Sedletz and Quackenbush with looks of mischief on their faces as Professor's Quackenbush and Sedletz are looking at them with looks of dumbfoundedness on their faces.

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Sedletz is looking at Moe, Larry, and Curly with a look of madness on his face as Professor Sedletz is yelling to Professor Quackenbush loudly): "What, with these Morons?"

We now see Larry, Moe, and Curly standing up and looking at Professor Sedletz with looks of madness on their faces.

MOE to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Moe has a look of mischievous madness on his face as with Larry and Curly as Moe is shouting to Professor Sedletz in a mad tone of voice as Moe is also smiling mischievously): "Yeah, but we're organized!"

We now see Moe with a really happy, proud and yet mischievous tone of voice as he pulls a button out of his pocket that reads): "A.A.M. Local 6-7/8!"

MOE to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Moe is still showing his button and is saying in a state of pride): "Amalgamated Association Of Morons, Local 6-7/8!"

MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (In unison as they are standing there at first with serious looks on their faces that turn into looks of dementedness but yet mischievous as they are standing there witht their eyes bugging out of their heads, their tongues are sticking out of their mouths and they have their hands in fists as they are shaking them mischievousl as they are chanting in a really wild and dumb sounding tone of voice): "We are Morons tried and true, and we'll do our yell for you, 'heee, heee, heee, heee, woo, woo, ha, ha, eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, yub, yub, yub, brub, brub, brub, youha, youha, youha, breeb, breeb, breeb, weeeb, weeeb, grub, grub, grub, brup, brup, brup."

As Moe, Larry, and Curly were doing their chant we see Moe looking at Larry in a state of scaredness as Larry and Moe are still waving their fists as Moe flinches back a tad in a state of scaredness as Curly is standing there with a really dumb look on his face, his mouth is open as he is groaning and waving his fists in support of the cheer.

We now see Professor Quackenbush sitting at his desk as Larry, Moe, and Curly are marching in, in a dignified manner as they are dressed in suits and Moe has a stogie in his mouth.

LARRY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Larry has a look of mischief on his face and determination in his voice says): "Well, here we are Professor!"

MOE to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Moe and Curly are marching in, in a proud and somewhat dignified state says in a serious tone of voice): Rearin', to go!"

We now see Professor Quackenbush standing up from his desk with a smile on his face and happiness in his voice as he is looking at the mischievously smiling Larry, Curly, and Moe.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (As he is in a happy state says to them happily): "Oh, that's fine boys, by the way my daughter Lulu arrived from college this morning, to help me with your education. She's preparing a little lunch for us, now I'm sure that you......"

As Professor Quackenbush is talking to Moe, Larry, and Curly we see a beautiful looking lady walk out as Moe, Larry, and Curly are now flinching back a tad and are smiling happily as they are now looking at the georgeous Lulu.

LULU to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As she is walking out in a very dignified manner and is smiling sweetly as she says): "Here I am, daddie!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to MOE, CURLY, and LARRY: (As he has a proud look on his face and a proud tone of voice says): "Gentlemen, this is my daughter, Lulu!"

MOE to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As we see Larry, Moe, and Curly looking at her with really happy looks on their faces and Moe has a really happy and upbeat tone of voice as says): "What, a Lulu!"

Curly has now whistled at her in a flirtatious happy manner, as he is also howling like a coyote, bending his head backwards. As Curly had his head bent backwards with his mouth opening yelling like a coyote, Moe is now mad at Curly and has ashed out his cigar into Curly's mouth. Curly is now coughing and choking on Moe's ashes. Curly has now taken his handkerchief from his top suit jacket pockt and is coughing into it.

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is pointing a finger at Moe in total madness as he is shouting madly at Moe): "Listen, you......!"

As Curly and Moe were having their cigar fight we saw Larry standing there looking at Moe and Curly with a hurt look on his face as Professor Quackenbush and his daughter Lulu were standing there looking at them with dazed looks on their faces.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As he is bending over slightly and is looking at them in a slightly mad state as he is disciplining them in a firm but yet understanding tone of voice says): "Boys, boys, no more nonsense!"

LARRY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Larry is looking at Curly with a mad look on his face as Curly is standing there with a dazed look on his face and Moe has a mad look on his face as Larry says seriously): "Yes sir!"


HERE WE BEGIN OUR TABLE ETIQUETTE LESSONS COURTESY OF MOE, LARRY, CURLY: (Just a note here, everything used here from the table ware to the food is 'Make Believe'):

LULU to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As she is standing there in a dignified manner and in says in a dignified tone of voice as Moe, Larry, and Curly are looking at her in a serious manner as she says): "Now gentlemen, the first lesson in etiquette will be table manners, you must always observe the rules of etiquette."

BUTLER SAPPINGTON to LULU, PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH, MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As he is walking out in a very well refined manner and says in a very polite tone of voice): "Beg you pardon, luncheon is served!"

We now see Larry, Curly, and Moe running wildly for the lunch table in a hurried state as Curly has now knocked Butler Sappington down as Curly and Larry are now walking on his face. Professor Quackenbush and Lulu are looking at them with looks of madness on their faces. Lulu and Professor Quackenbush have now gone to the luncheon table.

We now see Butler Sappington slowly sitting up with foot prints on his face. Hurt look on his face and he is shaking a tad in fear.

We are now in the dining room quarters where we see Moe and Larry in a gentlemanly manner helping Lulu with her chair. Larry is now walking away in a happy manner as we see Curly putting his head under Moe's arm to get the chair next to Lulu. Moe is now walking away in a mad state.

CURLY to LULU: (With a look of happiness on his face and in a happy, mischievous tone of voice says): "You know Babe, you and I can make beautiful music together, I ya......, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh."

As Curly was trying to sit down by Lulu as he was flirting with her we see Moe pulling the chair out from under Curly in a state of madness. Curly is now crashing to the floor. As Curly is now on the floor we see Moe looking at him in madness as Lulu is looking at him in a hurtful way.

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is giving Moe a look of madness and has a mad tone of voice): "Hunhn, hunhn, hunhn, hunhn, why you!"

MOE to CURLY: (In a mad tone of voice and a mad look on his face): "Come on!"

As Moe is sitting next to Lulu Curly is now sitting in the chair next to Moe as Curly is giving back to Moe a mad, cold, blank, stare.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (As he is sitting at the head of the table with a serious look on his face and in a serious tone of voice as he is offically starting the "COURSE ON HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN IN 101 HARD LESSONS"): "Now first, you unfold your napkins and place it in your laps like this."

We now see Professor Quackenbush taking his pretend napking and is shaking it first and the he is drapping it over his lap in a horizontal fashion.

Moe. Larry, and Curly are now looking at each other with looks of dismay as they are now taking their pretend napkins and are practicing the way that Professor Quackenbush had shown them.

MOE to CURLY: (As Curly is tucking his napkin under his chin. Moe is now tapping Curly on his arm and has a mad look on his face as he is quietly shouting to Curly): "Hey, in your lap."

As Curly has now placed his pretend napkin in his lap Moe and Larry are smiling at Curly in happy agreement.

LESSON TWO:

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (As he is talking to them in a very serious manner): "Now boys, watch Lulu carefully and whatever she does at this table, you must do."

MOE to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As we also see Curly and Larry looking at him in a very serious manner as Moe replies): "Yes, sir!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (In a very polite manner as he is standing up from his chair and is getting ready to exit the room): "Pardon me, I'll be right back."

We now see Moe, Larry, and Curly looking at Lulu in a really happy manner as they are smiling sweetly at her as Lulu now has a powder compact and lipstick tube in her hand as she is freshening up her make-up.

LARRY to LULU: (As Larry is looking at Lulu with a smile on his face and glee in his voice says): "You know Babe, you sure are the hubba, hubba, kid, hubba, hubba, waaa-hooo!"

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is using a lower pitched voice and is saying to Larry in a wicked voice tone): "You're right boy!"

MOE to LULU: (As Moe is talking to her in a low mischievous tone of voice says): "Toots, I'd love to cover you with furs and automobiles."

LULU to MOE: (As she is looking at Moe in a polite and sweet manner as she is saying to Moe in a very polite voice): "Well, thank-you!"

MOE to LULU: (As he is smiling and using a proudful tone of voice says): "Only the best furs, mink, skunk, porcupine, only the best for you, ha-ha-ha-ha, you're a lovely, then I can picture you and I walking down Fifth Avenue. You, covered with those georgeous furs."

All the while that Larry and Moe were flirting with Lulu we were seeing Curly seriously taking to heart what Professor Quackenbush had said about doing whatever Lulu does at the table as we now see Curly with her powder compact and lipstick tube as he is now applying them to his face.

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe has now noticed Curly applying her make-up and is giving Curly a really wicked look and is using a wicked tone of voice says): "What's the idea, 'Flattop'?"

CURLY to MOE: (In his defense as Curly is replying back to Moe with a serious look on his face and is whispering to Moe in a quiet tone of voice as Moe is looking at Curly with a really demented look on his face): "The Professor said do everything she does!"

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is looking eye to eye with Curly and has a wicked look on his face as he is whispering to Curly who has lipstick all over his face in a mean voice tone): "Why, I outta tear your tonsils out."

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is still looking at Moe eye to eye and has a mischievous look on his face as he is sticking his tongue out at Moe says meanly): "Shut up, enhn, enhn!"

We now see Moe with a really wicked look on his face as he is now painting Curly's tongue with the lipstick. Curly at first has a really painful look on his face as he is first tasting the lipstick. After he has tried it he is now smiling happily as he is now finishing off the rest of the lipstick because he likes it. Moe is still sitting there glaring at Curly in a really wicked manner. Curly has now happily finished the lipstick, but flinches back a tad as he has now noticed Moe looking at him meanly.

We now see Larry looking at Lulu with a really adorning look on his face as she is looking back at Larry polietly.

MOE to LULU: (As he is engaging in his previous conversation with her as he is looking at her sweetly and she is smiling back at him politely): "Now, as I was saying, honey, you are the apple of my eye, you're the cranberry sauce of my turkey."

LARRY to LULU: (As he is now looking at her adroningly and is smiling sweetly says): "Say the word, and you and I will fly around the world forever, hunh, even longer!"

As Moe and Larry are flirting with Lulu we now see Moe and Larry joining hands together underneath the table. All the while they both are thinking that they are holding hands with Lulu. Larry now has a look of true happiness on his face and is smiling really sweetly and is turning his head away slightly as he still thinks he is holding hands with Lulu. Moe now has a really sweet, sheepish look on his face as he also thinks he is still holding hands with Lulu.

As Moe and Larry are still holding hands with each other thinking they are holding Lulu's hand with really sweet, adorning, and sheepish looks on their faces we now see Lulu straightening up her hair and necklace.

Moe has now done a double look as he has now noticed that Lulu was fixing herself up, and that he is not holding her hand as Larry is still sitting there laughing and smiling sheepishly and is twitching in delight as he thinks he is still holding Lulu's hand. Now that Moe has noticed it was Larry's hand he was holding, Moe now has a look of madness on his face as he is reaching over and is pinching Larry's hand in madness. Larry is now pulling hi hand up from under the table with a hurt look on his face and is yelling painfully, 'yoouh, yoouh, oooh, oooh'. Lulu us also looking at Larry in a hurtful state as Moe is giving Larry a really mad look.

LESSON THREE:

We now see Professor Quackenbush entering into the dining area from the east as Butler Sappington is now entering from the west into the dining area.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (As he is sitting down very dignified and is using a very polite tone of voice says): "All right, now we will resume the lessons."

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to BUTLER SAPPINGTON: (As Professor Quackenbush is looking at Butler Sappington with a very dignified look as we see Butler Sappington standing there in a very dignified state): "You may start serving, Sappington."

BUTLER SAPPINGTON to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (In a very professional state says): "Yes sir."

BUTLER SAPPINGTON to LULU: (As he has a pretend serving tray and is extending it to her says in a dignified voice): "Some olives or celery, Miss Lulu?"

LULU to BUTLER SAPPINGTON: (As she is now serving herself some pretend celery and olives says in a polite voice): "Thank-you, Sappington!"

As Butler Sappington was serving Lulu her pretend olives and celery we see Moe looking at Curly with a really mischievous look on his face as Moe is spinning his finger around his head as if to say that Butler Sappington 'has lost some of his picnic to the ants,' (a wee bit nuts). Larry also nods quietly in agreement about what Moe had said to Curly.

BUTLER SAPPINGTON to LARRY: (As he is approaching Larry in a professional manner as he is now offering Larry some 'celery' asks in a totally dignified manner): "Some celery sir?"

LARRY to BUTLER SAPPINGTON: (As Larry is very politely excepting some pretend celery says): "Thank-you!"

LARRY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Larry has a look of devilment on his face as he is chewing on his celery loudly, (as we hear the sound of someone scraping an old clothing washboard): "I just love celery."

As Larry was chewing loudly on his celery we see Professor Quackenbush with a look of dismay on his face.

Butler Sappington is now approaching Moe and Curly with the tray of 'celery' and 'olives'. Curly is now taking several large handsful of pretend olives and is popping them down his throat, (as we hear someone shooting some pool balls).

As Curly is happily popping down his 'olives', we see Butler Sappington standing there holding the serving tray in a totally dignified manner as Moe is looking at Curly with a mad look on his face.

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe has a mad look on his face as Curly has now popped down his third large handful of 'olives' as Moe says): "Hey pig, what do you want to eat all those 'olives'?"

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly has his hand raised still holding some 'olives' and is looking at Moe mischievously and Moe is looking at Curly madly): "I like 'em!"

As Curly is in the middle of finishing his third handful of 'pretend olives', Moe is now reaching over and is giving Curly a karate chop on his throat as Curly is now slightly choking on his 'olives.'

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is having trouble swallowing his 'olives' and Moe is looking at Curly wickedly as Curly is picking up a glass and says): "Water!"

Curly is now chug-a-lugging down his 'pretend water', (sounds like someone pouring home brew from a shine jug).

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is now happy about swallowing his 'olives' as he is looking over at Moe and is whispering in a mischievous tone of voice): "I almost choked on those 'olive' pits."

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is looking at Cury eye to eye in a thorough state of disgust as Moe is giving Curly's nose a slight tweek says meanly): "I outta choke you!"

Moe has now noticed that Professor Quackenbush was watching as Moe is waving at him mischievously and has a sheepish look on his face as Moe is smiling.

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is looking at Moe eye to eye with a dazed look on his face and a dazed sounding voice says): "This make-believe eattin' stuff maybe all right for you, but my stomach don't think so."

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is now in a thorough state of madness as Moe is hitting Curly's nose in madness shouts quietly): "Pipe down!"

As Curly is now yelling loudly in pain, 'owh, owh, owh, owh, owh, owh'. We see both Larry and Moe looking at Curly with really mad looks on their faces as Larry is now shaking a fist at Curly in madness. Lulu was looking at Curly to see if he is all right.

LESSON FOUR:

We now see Butler Sappington entering once again in a very dignified manner as he now has a tray on 'pretend soup'.

BUTLER SAPPINGTON to LULU: (As he is offering her some 'soup' says very dignifiedly): "Soup, Miss Lulu?"

Butler Sappington has now finished serving the 'pretend soup' to both Miss Lulu and Larry as he is now walking away dignifiedly. We now see Moe giving Curly another quick look like Butler Sappington is a 'tad nuts' as Larry has his head lowered and is looking at his 'pretend soup' like what in the world is this. Moe is now looking at Curly with a mischievous smile on his face as Moe is rubbing his hands in glee about receiving his bowl of 'soup' as he is nodding at Butler Sappington in thank-you. Curly is looking at Moe like he thinks Moe is a bit tetched in the head.

We are now on Larry who is in the process of eating his 'soup' as he has a look of glee on his face as he is now taking a spoonful and is eating it. It happens to be too hot as he has now placed it in his mouth and is 'burning' his tongue, (like we are hearing someone frying some griddle cakes). Larry is now grabbing his mouth in a state of hurt as he has a hurtful look on his face about his 'soup' being too hot.

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is looking across the table at Larry in a really mad state asks Larry): "What's the matter with you?"

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry is now looking back at Moe with a mad look on his face and madness in his voice as he responds back): "The soup's too hot!"

Moe has now given Larry a hand wave of madness as he is looking at Larry in a total state of madness. Moe is now taking a few bites of his 'soup.'

We now see Curly looking at his 'pretend soup' with a horrified look of madness on his face as he is yelling, 'enhn, enhn, enhn, enhn, in total madness.

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is now looking over at Curly with a mad look on his face and is gently tapping Curly on his arm asks): "What's the matter with you?"

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly has a really worried look on his face and a worried tone of voice says): "There's a hair in my soup!"

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is looking at Curly with a really mean looking on his face and in a wicked tone of voice says): "You're crazy, that's a crack in your plate."

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is using hand gestures to show waving and still has a worried look on his face and says to Moe in a worried tone of voice): "I never saw a crack go that way."

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is using hand gestures to support mischievousness and is saying to Curly in a 'devil-may-care' tone of voice): "Well, that's neither 'Hair' nor there, go ahead!"

We now see the poor pathetic, bedraggled Professor Quackenbush with a look of horrible pain and hurt on his face as he is thinking he is going to loose his bet, as he has now witnessed all of Moe, Larry, and Curly's shenanigans.

We now see Moe and Curly happily enjoying their 'soup.'

MOE to CURLY: (As Curly is picking up his bowl of 'pretend soup' and is getting ready to drink it. Moe says in reference to the way Curly is holding it): "Unhn, unhn, unhn' Curly is now pointing his pinkey fingers upwards as Moe is smiling at Curly in a happy mood as Curly is smiling back at Moe mischievously. Moe is now nodding at Curly in agreement.

Moe is now taking a spoonful of his 'soup' as Curly is now loudly slurpping it straight out of the bowl, (like someone is using a zipper):

MOE to LULU: (As Moe is taking a spoonful of his 'soup' and is loudly slurpping in the noodles, (sounds like someone is using a zipper), (says mischievously): "I love noodles."

We now hear Moe and Curly loudly, but happily slurpping down their 'pretend soup'. Moe is now taking a noodle that has fallen onto his chin and is pushing it into his mouth with one hand as he is still holding his spoon with the other hand. Moe and Curly have now taken several more loud, slurpping bites of their 'soup'.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to MOE and CURLY: (As he is now fed up with the way that they are slurpping their 'pretend soup', says to them in a mad tone of voice): "Boys, boys!"

We now see Moe and Curly coming to an abrupt hault in their 'soup' slurpping.

LESSON FIVE:

We now see Butler Sappington serving the 'pretend main course'.

CURLY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Curly is looking at him with a look of wonderment as he is politely asking him): "Pardon me, what are we eating now?"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to CURLY: (As he is pointing to his plate and says to Curly with a look of politeness on his face and using a polite tone of voice says): "Why, lamb chops!"

CURLY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Curly is looking at his plate of 'pretend lamb chops' and has a happy look on his face as Curly says in a happy tone of voice): "Yummy, yummy, they sure look invitin'".

We now see Moe with a look of dumbfoundedness on his face as he says in general conversation: "Boy I wish I had some 'WOR-SES-TER-CHER-CHER-SHEER-SHEER-SHEER-SIRE-SIRE' sauce, I can't say 'Worcestershire.'

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is watching Curly with a look of dumbfoundedness as Curly is happily eating his 'pretend peas' with his knife Moe asks): "Hey, what's the idea of eattin' with your knife?"

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is looking at Moe with a mischief look on his face as he is holding a 'knife full of peas' says to Moe in a mischievous tone of voice): "I always eat my peas with my knife."

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is looking at Curly with a mad look on his face and is using hand gestures to support madness and says to Curly in a mad tone of voice): "Dummy, you never eat your peas with a knife."

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly has another 'knife full of peas' and is looking at Moe with a look of puzzlement on his face and answers in a questionable tone of voice): "No?"

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is looking at Curly in a full blown state of mischief says): "No, you mix them with the mashed potatoes, then you eat them with a spoon."

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is looking at Moe with a smile on his face and has a happy tone of voice says to Moe): "Oh, thanks!"

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is watching Curly mix his 'pretend peas and potatoes' and has a happy look on his face and is eating them with his spoon says in a low, happy tone of voice): "Yes!"

Moe and Curly are now happily enjoying their 'pretend meals' as Curly is mixing his 'peas' and 'potatoes' together and is happily eating them as Moe has a look of happiness on his face as he is now enjoying his 'pretend lamb chops'.

We now see Larry who is happily cutting his 'pretend lamb chops'. Larry has now covered his eyes as he is flinching back and shouts 'yoouh,' in a state of fright.

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is giving Larry a look of disgust and has a mad tone of voice asks Larry): "What's the matter with you?"

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry is looking at Moe in a full blown state of mischief says): "My lamb chop lost his pants, huh!"

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is looking at Larry in a state of madness and mischief in his voice says): "Well, dress him and eat him!"

All the while that Moe and Larry were having their discussion about Larry's lamb chop and his pants we see Lulu looking at Moe and Larry in thorough state of disgust, as she is rolling hier eyes back in mischief.

Moe is sitting there happily eatting his 'pretend lamb chops'. Curly is now sitting there with his arms crossed and has a look of dismay on his face as he scratching his head as if to say I have an idea as he has now noticed a saucer of milk on the floor for the cat. Curly is now getting down from his chair and is crawling over to the cat's milk saucer and is pushing the cat out of the way as he is now lapping up loudly the kitty cat's saucer of milk.

Professor Quackenbush is now sitting at the table and is reaching into his suit jacket pocket and is getting out a pack of smokes.

THIS NOW CONCLUDES OUR TABLE ETIQUETTE LESSONS - COURTESY OF MOE, LARRY, CURLY:

WE NOW BEGIN OUR READING LESSONS - COURTESY OF MOE, LARRY, AND CURLY:

We now see Larry, Moe, and Larry sitting on a davenport with big grins on their faces as Professor Quackenbush is sitting in chair across from them. Moe, Larry, and Curly are all holding their own copies of a kids story book entitled "Story Pictures Of Farm Animals":

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (In a very dignified manner says): "All right, we'll now start our first reading lesson, turn to page one!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to MOE: (As he is pointing a finger at Moe and says in a very serious manner): "Read, Moe!"

MOE: (As he is sitting there with a big grin on his face and is now reading from his copy of the book which he happens to be holding up-side-down): "Tar ytrid eeth say. Glug zap snorglots ramitz. Ronassonce, kibertz."

As Moe was happily reading, we see Larry looking at Moe with a look of wonderment on his face as he is looking at Moe and is wondering what he is reading. Professor Quackenbush has now reached over and turned Moe's book to go the correct way.

We now see Moe and Larry sitting on the davenport with looks of happy mischief on their faces.

MOE: (Now with his book in the right direction as he has a look of happiness look on his face as he is moving his head from side to side and is smiling gleefully as he is now reading in a slow sing-song style of voice the correct words from page one): "Oh, see the cat, does the mouse see the cat?, yes, the dirty rat!"

As Moe was reading his sentence he has now looked over at Larry with a devilsh look on his face as Moe was refering to Larry.

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry is now looking at Moe with mean look on his face as he is talking to Moe in a mean tone of voice): "Don't get poisonal!"

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is looking at Larry eye to eye with a mean look on his face as Larry is giving Moe a mean look also as Moe says): "Eeenh, eeenh, eeenh, eeenh'!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to MOE and LARRY: (As he is now looking at Moe and Larry in a state of madness as he is breaking up their little tit-for-tat says to Moe and Larry in a very serious tone of voice): "Here, here!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to CURLY: (As he is looking at Curly and says to him in a very calm tone of voice): "Read, page four."

CURLY: (As Moe is looking at Curly with a very serious look on his face as Curly has a look of wonder on his face as Curly is now commencing to read also in a slow sing-song style of voice): "Oh, see the little deer, has the deer a little doe?"

LARRY to CURLY: (As Larry has a look of mischief on his face and is looking at Curly and answering his question mischievously): "Yeah, two bucks!, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

As Moe is still watching Curly read he now has taken his fist and has reached behind himself and has now hit Larry hard on his forehead. Larry is now rubbing his forehead in pain as he is saying, 'Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh.'

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY and MOE: (As he is now fed up with their 'fun' says to them in calm. but yet mad tone of voice): "No more leavity!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY: (As he is talking to Larry in a serious tone of voice as Larry has a happy look on his face says): "Read, Larry!"

LARRY: (As he is now taking his turn at reading as he has a happy, mischievous look on his face and is also reading in a slow, sing-song style of voice): "Oh, see the pretty cat, does the pretty cat have chickens?"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY: (As he calmly correcting Larry's reading as Moe and Larry are looking at him with blank stares as Professor Quackenbush says): "That's kittens, a cat does not have chickens."

We now see Larry, Curly, and Moe sitting on the davenport with looks of madness on their faces as Professor Quackenbush is sitting in his chair and is leaning slightly forward and is looking at Larry in a state of disgust.

LARRY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Larry is now responding to his statement in a state of disgust and mischief): "Oh, no? Well, I had a cat, and it got into the chicken house, and that cat had chickens!"

We now see Moe, Larry, and Curly laughing hysterically about Larry's cat and chicken story, as Professor Quackenbush is sitting there in a horrible state of madness and disgust as he is shaking his fists madly and has a look of grimace on his face. As he is thinking I am gonna loose this bet for sure.

Professor Quackenbush is now sitting there tearing his hair out in total disgust as he is thorougly mad about everything. As Larry, Curly, and Moe are still laughing hysterically.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to MOE, CURLY, and LARRY: (As he is shouting at them in a horrible state of madness at them): "Oh, I don't know why I ever took this onto myself!"

Curly is now happily picking up the pieces of hair that Professor Quackenbush has ripped out of his head and has placed on a table Curly is now placing the hair on top of his head. While Larry is still laughing hysterically and Moe now has an apologetic look on his face for Professor Quackenbush as Moe now hits Curly on his head.

THIS NOW CONCLUDES OUR READING LESSONS - COURTESY OF: CURLY, LARRY, MOE:


IT IS NOW THE NIGHT OF THE PARTY:

We are now on the night of the party where we see if everything that Professor Quackenbush has taught Moe, Larry, and Curly has worked??????????

We now see this really lavish party at hand. With a table that is set with a crystal punch bowl and cups. Fancy trays of desserts and hours d'oeuvres. The ladies are dressed in elegant evening wear gowns as the gentlemen are dressed in tuxedos.

We see on male guest pouring a cup of punch as he is giving it to another lady guest. As other guests are standing around talking with one another.

We now see Butler Sappington holding a tray in a very dignified manner as he is offering some pastry styled hours d'oeuvres to Lulu and another guest, (by the name of Mrs. Smythe-Smythe).

LULU to BUTLER SAPPINGTON: (In a very polite manner answers Butler Sappington in a polite manner about him offering her some small cakes): "No, thank-you, Sappington."

MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE to BUTLER SAPPINGTON: (Also in a very polite manner answers): "I'm allergic to pastry."

We now see the guests milling around and getting acquainted with one another.

We now see Professor Quackenbush opening a door from a side room and is looking out at the elegante party with a worried look on his face as he is hoping that everything he has taught Moe, Larry, and Curly will pan out. Moe, Larry, Curly, Professor Quackenbush are now dressed in tuxedoes and are now entering the party.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to LARRY. CURLY, and MOE: (As he is looking at them with a worried look on his face and is using a worried and panicking tone of voice): "Now, 'gentlemen,' try and remember everything that you've been taught and if your debut into society tonight is successful, the money is yours!"

We now see Moe, Larry, and Curly with looks of happiness on their faces.

CURLY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Curly now has a serious look on his face and is saying to Professor Quackenbush in a dignified manner): "Professor Quackenbush, have no qualms or trepidations!"

LARRY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Larry is now giving him a look of reassurance as Larry is saying to him also in a dignified tone of voice): "We will justify your faith in us, inaudibly, sir."

MOE to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Moe now has a look of seriousness on his face as he is also saying to Professor Quackenbush in a dignified tone of voice): "Professor, the ressisatudes that we've encountered have elevated us to a lofty position."

As Moe, Larry, and Curly were talking to Professor Quackenbush in dignified states, Professor Quackenbush was standing there looking at them in a state of happiness feeling secure that he has won the bet.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to CURLY, MOE, and LARRY: (As he is now bowing at them in happiness says to them): "Thank-you, gentlemen!, come, I'll introduce you!"

We now see Professor Quackenbush with Moe, Curly, and Larry as they are now being introduced to the other guests by Professor Quackenbush. Professor Quackenbush has now approached Professor Sedletz and his guests.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ and HIS GUESTS: (As he is now walking up to them in a state of pride with his 'gentlemen' says): "Good evening!"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ and HIS GUESTS to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (In a very polite manner back says): "Good evening!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ and HIS GUESTS: (As Professor Quackenbush is using a very dignified, proud and polite tone of voice as he is giving Professor Sedletz a wicked look): "May I introduce my three protégés. Mrs. Gottrocks."

We now see Moe, Curly, and Larry standing there with big smiles on their faces and in a very polite manner as they respond back to Mrs. Gottrocks.

LARRY: "Delighted."
MOE: "Devistated."
CURLY: "Dilapidated."

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As Professor Quackenbush is now introducing another guest of royalty affair): "The Countess Schpritzwasser."

LARRY: "Enchanted."
MOE: "Enraptured."
CURLY: "Embalmed."

MOE to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ and HIS GUESTS: (In a very polite manner says): "Oh, pardon us."

We now see Moe, Larry, and Curly exiting to another part of the living room quarters.

MRS. GOTTROCKS to COUNTESS SCHPRITZWASSER and PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (In a very polite manner): "Quaint, aren't they, but cute!"

We now see Professor Quackenbush approaching Professor Sedletz as Professor Quackenbush is giving him a look of mischief as Professor Sedletz is looking at him in a state of wonderment.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (In a full blown state of mischief says): "I hope you have your checkbook with you!"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Sedletz is looking at him in wonderment as he says): "It's a miracle, but the evening is still young."

We now see Moe, Larry, and Curly ploitely greeting Lulu and her guest with big smiles on their faces and in a polite manner.

LARRY to LULU: (In a very polite manner says): "Good evening, Miss Lulu!"

MOE to LULU: (As he is also in a state of being dignified): "My, but you looking charming."

MISS LULU to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As she is excepting their compliment says very politely back): "Oh, thank-you boys, you look charming too!"

As Lulu was giving Moe, Larry, and Curly a compliment we now see them looking away in embarrassment, as Curly says, 'heee-heee.'

LULU to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As she is politely introducing her guest to them says): "Oh, by the way, may I present Mrs. Smythe-Smythe."

We now see Moe and Larry standing there in their polite and dignified manner as they greet Mrs. Smythe-Smythe.

LARRY: Is bowing at her in a polite manner and is smiling at her in polite happiness.
MOE: "Oh, very, very, happy, happy!"

CURLY: (As he is now at the refreshments table and has a look of devilsh mischief on his face as he notices a bottle as he is putting the bottle in his back trousers pocket says gleefully): "CHAM-PAG-KNEE!"

We now see Moe and Larry bowing to Miss Lulu and she is now exiting.

MOE to MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (As Larry is also standing there in a very polite and dignified manner and has a polite smile on his face as Moe is standing there in a dignified manner as he is using a polite and somewhat sophisticated tone of voice says): You know, this is our first entrée into society, and we find it very delightful."

LARRY to MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (As he is trying to be polite and dignified says to her as he has a slight look of mischief on his face says): "So different than our first party at the Reform School."

As Moe and Larry were engaged in their conversation with Mrs. Smythe-Smythe we now see Moe still trying to remain dignified but yet is mad as he has now noticed Curly with the bottle of champagne in his back trousers pocket.

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is standing there with his eyes slightly bugging out and has a mad and slightly wicked look on his face that he is trying to hide and is shouting at Curly in a polite way): "Oh, Curlyington!"

We now see Larry and Mrs. Smythe-Smythe looking at Curly as Moe is waving a finger at him to come here as Moe is now supporting a polite but yet wicked look on his face as Curly is now approaching Moe as Moe is now mad about Curly and the champagne.

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is now apporaching Moe with a look of wonderment on his face as Moe is giving Curly a polite, wicked look as Curly replies): "Yesington?"

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is being as dignified and polite as possible as Larry and Mrs. Smythe-Smythe are looking at Curly in a polite manner as Moe says to Curly): "May I present, Mrs. Smythe-Smythe."

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is responding back to Moe in a very polite manner with a mischievous look on his face says): "You certainly may."

CURLY to MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (As Curly is waving his hand at her and is smiling mischievously as Larry and Moe are Looking at Curly politely but yet in mischief as she is looking at Curly very dignified as Curly says): "Hiya!"

We now see Mrs. Smythe-Smythe extending her hand to him as Curly, Moe, and Larry are now looking in states of mischievous devilment at the 'three carat rock' that she is wearing.

MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE to CURLY: (As she has her hand extended and says politely): "I'm charmed!"

We now see Larry and Moe standing there with looks of scaredness but yet devilish on their faces as Curly is now in the process of 'kissing' her hand as he is now biting off the 'Rock' from her hand.

MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE to LARRY: (In a very polite and dignified manner says): "Isn't he gallant?"

As Mrs. Smythe-Smythe is talking to Larry, not knowing that Curly has now 'bitten' off her 'Rock' and has swallowed it for safe keeping as Moe is giving him a look of madness. Curly has now patted her hand.

MOE to MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (As he is being very polite says to her): "Unhn, would you please excuse us?"

We now see Moe who is now beyond mad and Curly and Larry as Moe is now taking Curly and Larry into a backroom to give them punishment that they deserve.

MOE to CURLY: (As Larry is also standing there looking at Curly in a mischievous madness as Moe is yelling quietly but yet madly at Curly): "Come on, come on, where's that diamond?"

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is giving Moe a mishchievous look and is answering in a state of mischief as he is pointing at his stomach says): "In my safe deposit box."

LARRY to CURLY: (As Larry has now slapped Curly on his back and is extending his hand out to Curly as Moe is standing there furiously mad with his hand on his waist as Larry says): "Give it back!"

CURLY to LARRY: (As Curly is now in a full blown state of mischief says): "I lost the combination, 'n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk!"

We now see Moe hitting Curly hard on his head in madness as we see a full collection of silverware now falling out of Curly's tuxedo jacket.

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is now acting sheepish and is trying to be nonchalant and is trying to act like he knew nothing about the silverware): "Well, what do you know, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha'."

MOE to CURLY: (With a mad look on his face and in a mad tone of voice says to Curly): "Dummy, I hope now one saw us!"

We now see Larry looking at the back of the dining room quarters to see if anyone has noticed them while Moe is now going to the main entrance door to see if anyone has noticed them.

Curly is now bending over to pick up the silverware as Moe has now turned around after he has noticed that no one saw them now has a horrible look of madness as he again sees the champagne bottle hanging out of Curly's back trousers pocket. Moe has now quietly snuck up to Curly and has given Curly a swift, hard, kick right in the champagne bottle and has now caused it to 'pop its cork,' and is now spraying Larry with the champagne.

We now see Larry in a full blown state of madness as he is wiping champagne off of his face. Curly is now standing up and is shouting in fear as he has a look of fear on his face about the champagne says, 'enhn, enhn, enhn, enhn, enhn.' As Moe is standing behind Curly with his hands in fists and on his waist as he is standing there with the most horrified look of madness on his face going.

MOE to CURLY: (As Curly is walking towards Larry in panic as Larry is wiping off his face as Moe says): "You stupid!"

MOE to CURLY and LARRY: (In general conversation and in a total state of panic says in a panic tone of voice): "Now, I gotta get something to cover this silverware."

We now see Moe looking around to find something to cover up the silveware with. He has now discovered a small toss rug in the doorway entrance area. Moe has now gotten the toss rug but not known to him he has in the process sent one of the male guests crashing to the floor flat on his face.

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is giving Curly a look of madness and has now in the nick of time before Professor Quackenbush had entered in gotten the silverware covered up shouts): "You fool!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As Professor Quackenbush has now entered into the dining room quarters and Moe, Larry, and Curly have looks of scaredness on their faces as Professor Quackenbush is now saying): "Boys, I've been looking for you, come along."

LARRY to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (In a serious tone of voice as he is covering up for himself and Moe and Curly and their shenanigans that they just played): "Yes sir."

We now see Larry and Professor Quackenbush now entering back to the party in pride. Moe and Curly are still lingering behind as they are hiding the remains of their play.

MOE to CURLY: (In a state of panic and is talking to Curly in a low and panic tone of voice): "S-s-s-h-h-h, come on!"

We are now out in the living room quarters where we see Lulu with Mrs. Smythe-Smythe.

MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE to LULU: (As she has a look of wonderment on her face and is talking to Lulu in a questionable tone of voice as she says): "This is the most interesting experiment. I'm very anxious to really talk to those boys."

LULU to MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (As she has a look of glee on her face and is answering Mrs. Smythe-Smythe in an agreeable tone of voice): "Well, they're here. I know they will be very happy to speak with you, Mrs. Smythe-Smythe."

As Lulu is talking with Mrs. Smythe-Smythe we now see Butler Sappington walking by supporting a tray over his shoulder that has several different varities of creamed pies on them and Curly has now helped himself to one and is in the process of taking a bite as Moe is now approaching him in a full blown horrified state of madness.

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is pulling Curly to the side and has a mad and wicked look on his face and is whispering to Curly in a mad tone of voice): "You Petty Larceny Stooge, what are you trying to do, ruin us?, give me that pie. Now get over there and sit down before I crown ya!"

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is giving Moe a look of madness and is waving his hand at Moe madly says as he is on his way to sit down): "Hunh, hunh, hunh, hunh."

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is still holding onto the pie and is giving Curly a wicked look and says to him in a wicked tone of voice): "Go on!"

(To the best of my knowledge of this short this is where Curly ended his wonderful career as a Stooge):

LULU to MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (As she is explaining to her about Moe, Larry, and Curly's transformation into 'gentlemen.'): "And, you know my dear, when they first arrived, they were absolutely uncooth, but now they are the epitome of refinment."

All the while that Lulu and Mrs. Smythe-Smythe were talking (off camera), we are looking at Moe in a horrified state of panic as he is now trying to find a place to hide the pie. At first he was thinking about hiding it under a davenport seat cushion but had second thoughts on that as he has now tossed it and it is now precariously 'glued' to the ceiling.

We are now on Lulu and Mrs. Smythe-Smythe as Lulu is standing there with a beautiful smile on her face as Mrs. Smythe-Smythe is now leaving.

MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE to LULU: (As she has now noticed Moe and is walking over to him in a state of couriosity as she in interested on how they became 'cooth.'): "There's one of them now, excuse me dear."

MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE to MOE: (As she is walking up to the totally nervous Moe in a state of happiness and a look of wonderment on her face as she is gently putting her hand on his shoulder and is asking Moe in a courious tone of voice): "My dear young man, do tell me about yourself."

As Moe is getting ready to talk with Mrs. Smythe-Smythe he is in a very nervous state as the two of the are now standing underneath the 'precariously perched' pie.

MOE to MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (As he talking to her in a stuttering tone of voice): "Well you see, it, da, how ya, well that is, ha!"

We now see Moe looking at the pie as it is now slowly working its self off of the ceiling and Moe is in a total state of nervous panic.

MOE to MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (As the pie is now becoming looser and looser and Moe is now panicking more and more says to her): "You'll pardon me."

MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE to MOE: (As she is standing there in total excitement in her voice as she is courious about how Moe, Larry, and Curly became 'gentlemen.'): "If you don't tell me all about this metamorphous, I should always feel that I missed something."

MOE to MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (As Moe is using hand gestures to support panic, has a horrible look of panic on his face and says to her in a panic tone of voice as the pie is now coming off the ceiling): "Lady, if you don't leave right now, you're not gonna miss anything, aiha."

MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE to MOE: (As Moe is starting to leave in panic as she is now pulling him back with a look of wonder on his face and courisity in her voice says): "Young man, what's wrong, you act as though the sword of domiciles is hanging over your head!"

MOE to MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (As Moe is now in a really horrifed state of panic as we now see the pie hanging from the ceiling 'by a thread'): "Lady, you must be psychic!"

Moe is now exiting in a horrified state of panic as the pie is really close to coming down.

MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (In general conversation): "I wonder what's wrong with that young man?"

MRS. SMYTHE-SMYTHE: (As she is looking up at the ceiling and is being hit with the pie is mumbling in madness): "A-hub, a-hub, a-hub, brup, brup, brup."

Mrs. Smythe-Smythe is now launching the pandemonium affair as she has now wiped a huge handful of pie from her face and has now thrown it, It has hit a male guest and his date right in their kissers.

We now see Moe as he is wiping his face in a horrible state of fear and panic as he has now noticed a Male Guest getting pied. Moe and the Lady Guest that he is mingling with both yell in fear, unhn, unh.'

Moe has now flinched back a tad in madness as he is now seeing Larry with a really contented look on his face as Larry is chowing down on a whole vanilla creamed pie.

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is now approaching Larry and is kicking Larry in the backside in a horrible state of madness and with a wicked tone in his voice says): "You, Featherbrain imbecile, are you trying to ruin us too?"

We now see Moe knocking the pie out of Larry's had as it goes sailing across the room and is now hitting another Male Guest right square in his kisser. The Lady Guest who is with him is looking at him in a horrified state of panic. The Pied Male Guest is now wiping the pie off of his face.

We now hear the screaming of panicked guests in the background as they are now seeing some of the guests getting pied. Moe and Larry are now standing next to the table of pies.

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry is looking at Moe with a mad look on his face and is using a mad tone of voice and is pointing a finger at Moe in madness says as Moe is now biting Larry's finger): "You know, you're a little bit bossy!"

Larry now has a look of horrified pain on his face as he is yelling in pain fro Moe biting his finger, 'Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh.'

MOE to LARRY: (In a full blown state of madness as Moe has a wicked sounding voice as Larry is looking at his bitten finger): "I'm too bossy hunh, wiseguy? ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

We now see the older gentleman that was pied by the pie that Moe had knocked out of Larry's hand walk up to the table full of pies and has now picked up one and is tapping Larry on his shoulder to get Larry's attention as he is now in the process of hitting Larry square in the kisser with the pie, but Larry has now ducked and Moe ends up being hit in the kisser with the pie.

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry is now laughing hysterically out of control in happiness about Moe being pied in the kisser says): "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, you forgot to duck, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha',"

MOE to LARRY: (As Larry is still laughing hysterically and the other Male Guest is wiping pie off of his face we now see Moe picking up a pie and is saying to Larry in madness as Moe is now hitting Larry in the face with the pie): "So, did you!"

All the while that Moe is pieing Larry and Larry is pieing Moe and some of the other guests are getting pied we hear the rest of guests yelling in the background in a total state of fear.

We see a Lady Guest putting on her glasses and is viewing the shenanigans as she is quietly saying in panic, 'Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh'.

Larry has now wiped some pie off of his face and has thrown it on the Male Guest that he has pied before. We now see the Male Guest that Larry and Moe pied picking up another pie and is intending to hit Moe or Larry with it.

MOE and LARRY to the PIED MALE GUEST: (As Moe and Larry are pleading with him for a truce is begging him in a state of panic says to him):
LARRY: "No, wait, wait, let's call a truce."
MOE: "Come on now, come on, you started this."

BUTLER SAPPINGTON to a LADY GUEST: (As he is approaching her in a very professional and dignified mannery says): "Your drink, madame?"

We now see Butler Sappington still holding the Lady Guest's drink as she is flinching back in panic as he is now getting hit square in the kisser by the pie that the Pied Male Guest wanted to hit Larry or Moe with.

BUTLER SAPPINGTON to the LADY GUEST: (As he is covered with pie and she is looking at him in a state of panic as Butler Sappington is still being dignified even though he is pied says to her as he is walking away with the drink): "Pardon me, madame!"

We now see the Lady Guest that Butler Sappington was bringing the drink to now getting a pie in her kisser.

We now see a Lady Guest approaching Moe, Larry, and the Pied Male Guest in a horrified state of madness.

LADY GUEST to MOE, LARRY, and PIED MALE GUEST: (As she is now walking up to them and is clapping her hands in madness as she is yelling at them at the top of her lungs in a super mad tone of voice): "Stop it, stop it this minute, you disgraceful vagabonds!"

As Moe and Larry are now getting yelled at by the outrageously mad Lady Guest we see the Pied Male Guest standing there with a look of dismay on his face as Moe is looking at Larry and is giving Larry a wink as a go ahead as we now see both Larry and Moe taking handsful of pie from their faces and are now applying them to her kisser.

MOE to IRATE LADY GUEST: (As he is looking at her totally mad and says to her in a low, mad, tone of voice): "Who do you think you're talking too?"

IRATE PIED LADY GUEST to MOE and LARRY: (As she is now putting her fisted up hands on her waist and is yelling at them in a horrible state of panic and fear is shouting at them): "So, you wanna play rough do you, well!"

MOE and LARRY to the IRATE PIED LADY GUEST: (As they are looking at her in full blown state of panic as they are raising their hands to signal stop as she is now picking up a pie and is getting ready to toss it say in unison): "Wait a minute lady, wait a minute, wait a second, you started it, please take it easy, wait!"

We are now seeing Lulu as she is mingling with the Councilman.

LULU to COUNCILMAN: (As she is now talking to him in a polite and dignified tone of voice says): "My dear councilman its......"

As Lulu was talking to the councilman she and the councilman are now getting hit square in the kissers by the handful of pie that the mean and Irate Lady Guest had intended to hit either Moe or Larry with.

We now see another Lady and Male Guest standing there with each other as she is now getting pied in the kisser as the Male Guest is now turning around and is looking in the direction from where the pie came from as he is looking with a dropped jaw and a really horrified state or madness at Larry and Moe for hitting his date with the pie. He is now getting a mouthful of pie himself.

We now see another Older Lady Guest getting pied in her face as she now has a look of hurt on her face.

We are now back to the table of pies and Moe, Larry and the Pied Male Guest and the Irate Pied Lady Gues as Moe is picking up another pie and is saying to them madly, "Wait a minute, wait a minute, hold it!"

We now see Moe taking a pie and is hitting the Irate Lady Guest square in her kisser with it. The Original Pied Male Guest is now taking another pie and is hitting Larry square in the face with it.

Larry has now picked up another pie and was getting ready to throw it at the Original Pied Male Guest, but he has now ducked and we see a Young Lady Guest getting hit square in her kisser with it.

END OF SHORT:

We now see for the ending of the short just one humongous free-for-all pie fight. All of the guests are now picking up pies and randomly throwing them at one another.

We now see Professor Quackenbush and Professor Sedletz walking out of the dining room quarters where they were taking care of business. They are now walking out into the crazy and widl pie fight party that is now going on. Guests are now getting pied and are yelling in panic.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Quackenbush has a happy look on his face and is looking at Professor Sedletz's check in happiness as Professor Quackenbush is knowing nothing about the free-for-all pie fight that is going on): "Well, that was easy money!"

We now see Professor Sedletz removing his glasses as he has a look of dazement on his face as he is now noticing the free-for-all oie fight that is going on as Professor Quackenbush is looking at him with a look of puzzlement on his face as Professor Quackenbush still knows nothing of the giant pie fight that is taking place.

Professor Quackenbush and Professor Sedletz are now looking at the pie fighting guests and Moe, and Larry with horrified looks of panic on their faces.

We are now back in the corner of the room where Moe, Larry, Pied Male Guest, and Pied Irate Lady Guest are at it, as they all have pies in their hands and are tossing them wildly.

LARRY and MOE to the IRATE LADY GUEST: (In a total state of fear and panic are shouting at her in panic as she has a pie in her hand): "Don't do it, please don't do it!"

IRATE LADY GUEST to MOE and LARRY: (As she is now beyond the state of furious panic as she has a pie in her hand and is shouting at them wildly): "Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oh, yes I will!"

The Irate Lady Guest as she is so full blown out of control mad at Larry and Moe, she is now picking up a pie and is throwing it trying to hit Moe or Larry with it. She has now missed her mark and we now see Professor Sedletz getting hit with it.

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Quackenbush has a look of hurt and sadness on his face as we see Professor Sedletz wiping pie off of his face in total madness and is holding a handful of it as Professor Quackenbush is now saying): "Here's your check back, and believe me, I've learned that you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear!"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Profsser Sedletz in holding his handful of pie and is looking at Professor Quackenbush with a wicked look on his face and in a wicked tone of voice says): "Yes, Professor, and I've learned something too!"

PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH to PROFESSOR SEDLETZ: (As Professor Quackenbush is standing there with a look of hurt and panic on his face as he now has panic in his voice says): "What's that?"

PROFESSOR SEDLETZ to PROFESSOR QUACKENBUSH: (As Professor Sedletz is standing there with a mischievous look on his face and a mischievous tone of voice as he now has a paw full of pie says): "This, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" (Professor Sedletz has now thrown his paw full of pie into the face of Professor Quackenbush.

As Professor Sedletz and Professor Quackenbush were having their business argument and pie fight we could hear other guests in the background yelling in fear and panic as they were getting pied.

LARRY to MOE: (As both Larry and Moe have now picked up a creamed pie and Larry has a look of mischief on his face and is using a mischievous tone of voice as he is now hitting Moe on the top of his head with a creamed pie says): "A wiseguy hey, how do you like that?"

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe has a mean and slightly wicked look on his face and has a mean tone of voice as he has a pie on the top of his head and one in his hand says to Larry): "Why, you, oh!"

Larry has now squated down with a happy but yet miwchievous grin on his face as he thought he had out foxed Moe and was not going to be hit with the pie. Moe has now squated down also and is now hitting Larry square in the face with the pie.

SHORT FADE OUT:

This short fades out with Larry wiping pie off of his face and Moe is washing himself at the punch bowl as he is pouring ladels of punch over himself.


Videography   (3)

Fan Reviews   (22)
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-10-01 13:17:00 by Shemp_Diesel
Edited 2014-12-25 10:12:54 by Shemp_Diesel

Well, I just rewatched this one recently & it's very sad that Jerry is gone during the pie fight knowing that he's laid up in a hospital bed trying to overcome a stroke. It's kind of a dark cloud hanging over this short. I don't know if I would go so far as to say this short should have never been made. It has it's moments when all three stooges are present, but doesn't come close to being as good as Hoi Polloi.

6 pokes


Reviewer's Rating: (6)
Re: HALF-WITS HOLIDAY
Posted 2013-05-03 22:45:34 by Dean Gonga

Poor Curly. He should've been resting but that cruel SOB Harry Cohn wouldn't let him take some time off. This short has the distinction of me giving a Curly short 0 pokes (out of 10) which I reserve for the "Fake Shemp" episodes and most of the Joe ones.


Reviewer's Rating: (0)
Re: HALF-WITS HOLIDAY
Posted 2010-08-23 20:01:38 by benjilbum

Prof. Sedletz: If I gave you a dollar, and your father gave you a dollar, how many dollars would you have? Larry: One dollar. Prof. Sedletz: You don't know your arithmetic. Larry: You don't know my father. One of Larry's funniest lines, and he had a lot of them. I won't be redundent and comment on Curly's heartbreaking condition and fate. The pie fight was good, and it's ironic that it's Cutly"s last, and Emil's first. The end of one and beginning of another happy association. Thanks for 12 great years Jerry.


Reviewer's Rating: (6)
Re: HALF-WITS HOLIDAY
Posted 2008-02-19 04:37:19 by Legalize Shemp
Curly's illness aside...this is a minorly decent short. The dinner table scenes with Curly were somewhat funny but I've always found this one painful to watch for obvious reasons. Shemp would have been pretty funny if he was in this as the 3rd stooge, but were Curly at full health, this could have been a good film

Reviewer's Rating: (5)
Re: HALF-WITS HOLIDAY
Posted 2007-05-18 15:27:29 by KingKongFu
Same as everyone else said, this was a very sad short to watch. This really would have been a classic had either Curly been in much better shape or Shemp replaced him much earlier, though I would agree with Shemps#1 about how it would have been better if Shemp was cast in this film. Harry Cohn and the other suits at Columbia really did not give a damn how badly ill Curly was getting and forced him to work anyway. Had Shemp already temporarily taken his place even before this short was filmed, then Curly may not have suffered the severe stroke, his mental and physical condition would not have decayed during the next five years or so, and he would have returned to work with Moe and Larry to bring a bunch of classics to remember, especially when considering those Joe Besser-era shorts (ugggh). Moe and Larry make up for Curly's lack of energy here, though he still has some good moments, like when Moe and Larry make Curly give back the diamond he accidentally swallowed, "Where's the diamond?" "In my safe deposit box." "Give it back!" "I lost the combination! Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!" Still, it was very unbearable for Larry and Moe to be forced to finish the short without him, and it was really sad for us to see him go.

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2006-03-25 12:05:52 by shemps#1
Edited 2006-03-26 09:45:43 by shemps#1
Half-Wits' Holiday is very painful to watch due to the obvious health problems Curly was enduring. In my opinion this short should have been scrapped once he had his on-set stroke. Otherwise what we have here is almost a direct remake of the excellent Hoi Polloi, and I'm not a huge fan of remakes which involved the same third Stooge who was in the original. A Shemp remake of a Curly short tends to be better or more interesting than a Shemp remake of a Shemp short or this short because of the different aspect Shemp would bring in the role. This being almost a scene for scene copy of Hoi Polloi, along with Curly's health problems stunting his performace make for an overall crummy short that has been severely overrated due to sentimentalism.

My Rating: 1 poke

Reviewer's Rating: (0)
RE: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY (1947)
Posted 2003-11-30 09:59:52 by jaronson
Like everyone else said, this is the saddest short because Curly did suffer a stroke before filming the pie fight. However Moe and Larry do an excellent job during the pie fight without Curly even though his presence is noticeably missing during the pie fight. However, Curly does turn in a good performance for the beginning of the short. Highlights: Curly putting on lipstick and eventually eating it, and Curly drinking milk from the cat's bowl.Grade: B (3 pokes)

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
RE: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY (1947)
Posted 2003-11-08 15:17:00 by jagman
Actually, Curly's performance in this one isn't as bad as all that. He was concealing his weakened state rather better than in a few of the episodes that preceded it. Still, it's clear that he is lacking in energy and all in all it's sad to watch him, even without being aware that this was his last full short.But it has a lot to make up for this flaw. We see the wonderful Emil Sitka for the first time in this episode; Symona Boniface has the hilarious "Damocles" line (a rare literary allusion for a Stooges short), and although the pie fight isn't as good as the one in "Sweet Pie and Pie", it's quite funny and doesn't use any stock footage.

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2003-04-03 10:59:00 by Pat Stooge
Edited 2003-08-11 18:06:00 by Pat Stooge
A sad and heartbreaking swansong for Curly. He is deathly
ill here, his ragged appearance and slim body tells you
that he's ready to snap , Curly had very little lines in
this short, and Moe and Larry's pie scene was sort of a
stand in for Curly kinda like Joe Palma standing in for
Shemp. I don't think Jules White knew just how much bad
shape Jerry was in, on Sunday May 6,1946, Curly sat in
Jules White's chiar, mumbled incoherently, and slumped to
the floor. Moe quvered "Babe?" after he saw his baby
brother fall unconscious. Very very sad.

Reviewer's Rating: (1)
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-02-19 23:31:00 by Stooge
Edited 2003-06-24 01:51:00 by Stooge
This short itself is okay - not as good as HOI POLLOI, but still an acceptable remake - but we all know what happened to Curly, and that makes this hard to bear. That being said, his performance itself in this short isn't that bad. He says most of his lines really slowly, though, but you can't really see his stroke coming compared to MONKEY BUSINESSMEN where he looks and acts deathly ill. [br][br]I really feel sorry for Moe and Larry being forced to finish the film by themselves when you know they wanted to see Curly at the hospital. The pie fight was okay, but hurt by an obvious lack of Curly. This pie-fight footage is reused in a lot of later shorts (PEST MAN WINS, SCHEMING SCHEMERS, and PIES AND GUYS), and I thought the scene was actually better in PEST MAN WINS, since the editing of the old footage was done better and quicker and they actually had a third Stooge to work with that time (Shemp) and inserted new footage of him in between reused shots. For this short, they could've at least inserted reused footage of Curly from the pie-fight in IN THE SWEET PIE AND PIE since he wears the same tuxedo in it. [br][br]The ending was weak and out of place, but they probably couldn't think of a real alternate ending in time, so Jules probably just said "Screw it!" and ended the short right in the middle of a scene. I wonder what the original ending was supposed to be.

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2002-09-03 00:35:00 by ProfessorStooge
A sad short, because it was the last film Curly made with the Stooges. He was a comedic genius with many lovable routines and mannerisms. It was never the same without Curly. He will always be the favorite Stooge of millions of fans around the world.

Reviewer's Rating: (6)
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-11-08 10:12:00 by Genius In the Lamp
A promising short hampered by Curly's deteriorating condition and mediocre directing. Curly showed some glimmers of talent during the table etiquette scene (even if the scene did overstay its welcome), but he's barely visible throughout the rest of the short. However, Jules White deserves some blame for the quality of this short. The pie fight gets off to a great start, but gets bogged down with too many abrupt reaction shots. Even with only two Stooges to work, I'm sure he could have done a better job shooting the scene.

Reviewer's Rating: (5)
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-10-26 20:42:00 by jaronson
An okay short. The pie fight was great except the fact that Curly was in the hospital during it. I also liked the part where Curly pushes the cat out of the way to drink so milk. The reading scene was hilarious, especially when Curly says, "Oh see the little deer. Has the deer a little doe?" Larry: "Yeah two bucks." (slap). One of my friends who is also a Stooges' fan actually told me that the ending when Moe washed himself off with the punch was because he and Larry were going to go to the hospital to visit Curly.Grade: B

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-10-01 01:14:00 by Mike Holme
This is a good short, but its the saddest short of them all knowing that at the end Curly would have a stroke. But with enough funny gags from Moe and Larry this one gets...3 pokes Mike Holme

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-06-14 04:24:00 by 1985
Curly's first stroke was on the set of "Monkey Bussinessmen" when he coudn't remember his lines,on here he looks like he's deathly ill and speaks poorly and moves slowly.I'm mad that Jules made Moe and Larry do the pie scene while Curly was in the hospital its unfair,if Jules would have let Curly rest that day history would have been changed!But sadly Curly allmost died on May 6,1946
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-05-13 12:00:00 by Nicole
I thought this one was okay. If it wasn't a remake of "Hoi Polloi", I'd love it. I'm glad Curly's last short was this one (at least it wasn't something awful like one I won't mention, in fear of being criticized for it).
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-05-12 16:58:00 by metaldams
I've been watching this short a lot the past couple of days, and I like it. Of course it is sad Curly is not in the pie fight scene because of his stroke, and knowing what is about to happen to Curly is sad. Still, the story is great, and other than the opening scene when they're on the couch, I think this is one of Curly's better performances during his post-stroke period. He certainly does better here than in Monkey Businessmen or If A Body Meets A Body. I like this short as much as one can like it considering the circumstances, and I'm glad Curly's last short was enjoyable.
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-04-19 11:48:00 by Ichabod Slipp
I watched this again, and it really isn't as bad as all that. Sure, it can be depressing that as soon as Curly walks off after Moe roughly takes the pie away from him, you won't see him again except for a brief bit as a train passenger in a later film. All the same, Curly does all right for himself and holds his own, although a lot of the action again centers around Moe and Larry. Plus, we gained Emil Sitka. Perhaps my main complaint with this short is that Moe seems to be encouraging Larry's dumb jokes instead of slapping him for it, and Columbia's increasingly claustrophobic production values. (I'm starting to miss those outdoor scenes they used in the thirties!)
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-02-11 12:28:00 by sickdrjoe
There's no shame in being a Curly fanatic and, yeah, maybe that 'ghoul' crack was going too far. The thing about this short that really creeps me out was that Columbia forced Moe and Larry to finish shooting the pie fight ON THE SAME DAY Curly had the stroke!!I know Columbia was a poverty-row studio at the time, but that's beyond belief. Even forced-labor camps occasionally fly the flag at half-mast!(Not to mention that FRIGHT NIGHT was in theaters 2 months later.)If there were ever a time Moe should've brought in lawyers or a new manager, this was it.
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-02-10 13:11:00 by Uncle Mortimer
Without addressing all the comments below, I'll just say that I like the scene where Curly eats the lipstick. I know he was sick and probably shouldn't have been performing, but he made me laugh doing that. Crucify me if you want. The guy had a way to make you laugh, no matter what. I think that saying that "a person who watches this short more than once, is the 'kind of ghoul' that would videotape a wake" is clever, but a little too dramatic. Would you really be happier if Curly never did the MAHA skit in "THREE LITTLE PIRATES?" I do agree however, that they (H.C) shouldn't have been pushing him.
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-01-16 02:31:00 by Mike Holme
This episode is a pretty good remake of Hoi Polloi. The only bad thing about this one is that Curly doesn't do that many funny things. Curly is totally out of the pie fight, but Larry and Moe do a good job.

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Re: HALF-WITS' HOLIDAY
Posted 2001-01-06 20:20:00 by sickdrjoe
Well, even if you know nothing of Stooges chronology, SOMETHING'S the matter with Curly here - that's obvious. And if you do know that this is the one where a desperately sick manwho shouldn't have been working suffered a massive stroke that signalled years of abject misery and an early grave, it's heartbreaking to watch. Anyone who willingly watches this more than once is the kind of ghoul who'd videotape wakes.

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