Log In

The Three Stooges Online Filmography
"If you don't stop, I'll give you a pop." "What flavor?" "Five delicious flavors!" [smack!] - Moe & Curly (YOKE'S ON ME, THE, 1944)

Bookmark and Share THE LOST STOOGES

Average Rating:     [9.80/10]   4 votes

LOST STOOGES, THE

Leonard Maltin narrates this retrospective look at the MGM films of Ted Healy & His Stooges. Includes footage from NERTSERY RHYMES (1933), PLANE NUTS (1933), THE BIG IDEA (1934), ROAST-BEEF AND MOVIES (1934), TURN BACK THE CLOCK (1933), MEET THE BARON (1933), DANCING LADY (1933), BROADWAY TO HOLLYWOOD (1933), FUGITIVE LOVERS (1934) and HOLLYWOOD PARTY (1934).

Also features the complete short BEER AND PRETZELS (1933).


IMDb Rating

THE LOST STOOGES on IMDb

Featuring
Ted Healy and His Stooges
Release Date
January 01, 1990
Studio
Turner Entertainment
Production Type
TV Special
Duration
68 min.
Buy at Amazon.com

Cast Members   Production Crew

Collapse All | Expand All
(Click on the icon to expand individual sections.)

Production Notes   (0)

There are't any production notes logged for this episode.


Stooge Mayhem   (Avg. 0.00)

Stooge Mayhem is not available for this episode.


Stooge Quotes   (0)

No quotes have been logged for this episode.


Stooge Goofs   (0)

No goofs or technical blunders have been logged for this episode.


Stooge Routines   (0)

No Stooge routines have been logged for this episode.


Stooge Trivia   (0)

No trivia have been logged for this episode.


Audio Files   (0)

No audio files are available for this episode.


Video File   (N)

There isn't a video file available for this episode.


Transcript   (Y)

Transcription by Moron4392:  

"THE LOST STOOGES:" NARRATED BY: "MR. LEONARD MALTIN:"

INTRODUCTION:

This televison special starts off with this clip from: ("MEET THE BARON"): (Moe, Larry, Curly, and Ted): (October 20, 1933):

Moe, Larry, Curly and Ted are standing on the stage wearing tuxedos. Moe is giving Ted a mischievous look as he is getting ready to ignite the fuse on miniature canon.

MOE to TED: "Okay boss?"

TED to MOE: "Okay, fire on the count of three."

Ted is now holding his cane and is slightly ducking behind a curtain as he is counting with a scared look on his face. "1." CURLY: (With a scared look on his face as he is running off the stage). "2." LARRY: (Also has a scared look on his face and is running for cover as the canon is now going off he has said). "3."

MR. MALTIN: "THE THREE STOOGES EXPLODED ON THE MOVIE SCENE IN THE 1930'S. AND ENJOYED THE LONGEST CONTINUING RUN TO STAR IN COMEDIES IN HOLLYWOOD HISTORY."

(As Mr. Maltin was talking they showed a circus clip of people running away scared with an elephant wearing a blanket that read: "This Space For Rent." The circus crowd was frantically running away from the canon blast.

MR. MALTIN: "BUT BEFORE THE STOOGES SET OUT ON THEIR OWN. THEY SERVED AN APPRENTICESHIP AT THE MGM STUDIOS, THEIR BOSS TED HEALY."

(Here they showed a still photograph from: ("DANCING LADY"): (Moe, Larry, Curly, and Ted): (November 24, 1933): Where Ted is standing in the middle of the photograph with his hands raised forward and a blank look on his face while he has two really pretty ladies standing by him one on each side. One has her foot on Larry's head, as she is pushing him to the ground, Larry has a hurtful look on his face. The other lady has her foot on Curly's head and is pushing him to the ground and he has a hurt look on his face. Moe is standing by Ted grining from ear to ear.

MR. MALTIN: "AND EVEN SOME DIE HARD STOOGE FANS ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH THIS PHASE OF THEIR CAREER."

(Here they showed another clip from: ("DANCING LADY"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (November 24, 1933): They are in the backroom working on a dance rehearsal. Janie, (Joan Crawford), is practicing her dance routine while Larry is "tickling the ivories." Ted is in the background watching everything and Moe and Curly are behind Janie, (Joan Crawford), and Ted is talking to Curly, trying to interrupt her routine. Ted said to Curly: "Hey Curly, Curly, help the lady out will ya?" Curly has put on his hat and is dancing with Janie, (Joan Crawford). They were trying to give her a "brush off."

MR. MALTIN: "THEY CO-STARRED IN TOP FEATURE FILMS AND DID TINY WALK ON PARTS IN OTHERS."

(Here they showd a clip from: ("TURN BACK THE CLOCK"): (Moe, Larry, and Curly): (August 25, 1933): Moe, Larry, and Curly are singing at the wedding reception for Joe Gimlet, (Lee Tracy), and Mary Gimlet, (Mae Clark).

MR. MALTIN: "THEY REPRODUCED THEIR VAUDEVILLE ACTS AND INVENTED BRAND NEW MATERIAL."

(Here they showed a clip from: ("PLANE NUTS"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (October 14, 1933): They are doing one of their vaudeville acts. Larry is dressed in a regular tuxedo, Moe is dressed in a tuxedo that is on size to big, and Curly is dressed in a tuxedo with knee length pants. Ted is in a regular tuxedo with a cane.

LARRY: (In a happy state): "Whistles and says as he salutes, okay, America."

Ted and Curly are also saluting while Moe is tweeking Larry's nose and giving him an eyepoke.

MR. MALTIN: "THEY EVEN APPEARED IN EARLY TECHNICOLOR."

(Here they showed a clip from: ("NERTSERY RHYMES"): (Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe): (July 06, 1933): Where Moe, Larry, and Curly are dressed in pink and white footed pajamas and their bedroom is decorated in pink and white. (The reason they used the colors pink and white was to co-ordinate with an old song and dance routine that they were done with). Moe gives Larry an eyepoke and he hits Curly over the head and says to them madly. ""What's the matter with you?").

(They also used a clip from: ("ROAST BEEF AND MOVIES"): (Curly Solo): (February 10, 1934): Curly is standing in front of a producer, (Si Jenks), and says to him. "I ate the cans, but I got the film." Curly then pulls back his suit jacket and shows the prodcuer, (Si Jenks), a wadded up film reel. (My opinion the colors they used were a sick shade of rust and grey).

MR. MALTIN: "WE BROUGHT ALL THIS MATERIAL OUT OF THE VAULT AND INTO THE OPEN."

(Here they showed another clip: ("PLANE NUTS"): (Curly, Larry, Ted, and Moe): (July 06, 1933): Ted is siting on a chair and Moe is giving Curly an eyepoke).

MR. MALTIN: "HERE'S THE STUFF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN WATCHING YOUR WHOLE LIVES ON T. V. IT'S TIME TO RE-DISCOVER "THE LOST STOOGES."

(Here they used another clip from: ("MEET THE BARON"): (Moe, Larry, Curly, and Ted): (October 20, 1933): Where Ted and The Stooges are playing rolls as janitors, and are standing outside of a girls shower room where they have been called up to repair the broken plumbing. They are told to blindfold their eyes and Curly is now giving Dean Primrose, (Edna May Oliver), a mischievous look with his eyes crossed. Larry and Moe are giving him looks of wonderment and Curly is saying to Dean Primrose, (Edna May Oliver), "You can't make us do that!")

MR. MALTIN: "WE'RE ALL SO USED TO MOE BEING THE BOSS OF THE THREE STOOGES. IT MAY COME A SURPRISE THAT IN THE TEAM'S ORIGINAL ACT SOMEONE ELSE WAS IN CHARGE."

(Here they used another clip from: ("MEET THE BARON"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (October 30, 1933):

TED to LARRY: (With a blank look on his face): "Now, who is the boss of this troupe?"

LARRY to TED: (Mischievously). "I'm the boss."

Moe then gives Larry an eyepoke.

LARRY to TED: (With a hurtful look on his face after Moe's eyepoke). "You're the boss."

Ted has now administered a hit on the head to Curly and Curly is jumping up and down madly and shouting in pain, 'Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.'"

MOE to TED: (In a mad state says): "This is Ted Heal, shwoo."

Ted starting laughing and then Moe joins in laughing and then Ted realizes what Moe had said and he hits Moe on the face and replies back madly,). "This is Ted Heal, shwoo."

MR. MALTIN: "AND A VERY SUCCESSFUL STAR AT THAT. IN VAUDEVILLE AND ON THE BROADWAY STAGE. HE RECRUITED MOE HOWARD TO BE ONE OF HIS STOOGES OR FOILS IN 1922. MOE'S BROTHER SHEMP, AND LARRY FINE JOINED THEM IN THE ACT."

(Here they used another clip from: ("PLANE NUTS"): (Curly, Larry, Moe, and Ted): (July 06, 1933):

TED to CURLY: (As he has hit Curly on the head in madness). "None of that."

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: "How old are you?" Larry and Moe are starting to answer, when Curly has chimed in and says 28. Curly said he was 19. Ted then reaches over and gives Curly a slap on his face in madness. Moe in madness at Curly's answer about his age, gives him an eyepoke.

CURLY to MOE: (In a mad state says): "I didn't have any idea."

Larry is standing there in a dazed state and laughing at Curly for his response about Moe. Larry has now put his hand to his eyes to void an eyepoke from Moe, but Moe hits him on the head instead.

MR. MALTIN: "BUT BY THE TIME THAT THEY GOT TO MGM IN 1933, SHEMP WAS GONE. REPLACED BY HIS KID BROTHER JERRY, NOW NICK NAMED CURLY."

SECTION ONE: ("PLANE NUTS"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, Moe, and Bonnie): (October 14, 1933):

CAST MENTIONED:

TED HEALY: (Himself):
MOE HOWARD: (Himself):
LARRY FINE: (Himself):
CURLY HOWARD: (Himself):
BONNIE BONNELL: (Herself):

MR. MALTIN: "TED HEALY IS WHAT THEY CALL A REACTIVE COMEDIAN. THE KIND OF COMIC WHO FARED BEST WHEN HE WAS REACTING TO SOMEONE ELSE. THE STOOGES GAVE HIM PLENTY TO PLAY OFF OF."

(This clip starts off with Ted standing on the stage and is singing):

"Night time means sleep for the same. Noon time means luncheon."

As Ted was singing, Curly dress in knee length pants and an over-sized tuxedo jacket and just white stockings comes skipping merrily on the stage and he then taps Ted on the shoulder.

CURLY to TED: (In a happy state): "I have something I'd like to tell ya."

Ted then hits Curly on his forehead and then Curly goes skipping away happily off the stage.

TED: (In a mad state says in reference to Curly). "I'll straighten him out later."

Ted is trying to get back to his song when Moe, Larry, and Curly are marching onto the stage with smiles on their faces as they walk up to Ted.

TED: (In a state of madness says). "I knew it, I knew it, that they would show up."

Moe, Larry, and Curly all come marching out onto the stage with smiles on their faces as they walk up to Ted, and Curly says first: "Here we are", Moe then replies, "all together."

TED (as he pats Curly on the shoulder and is laughing slightly and says to them in a mischievous voice). "Ah, yeah, I know you are here, that's all right boys, now the pool rooms are empty."

TED to CURLY: (As The Stooges and Ted all have happy and mischievous looks on their faces as he goes to shake Curly's hand says to Curly). "How are ya boys?"

MOE, LARRY, and CURLY to TED: (Smiling mischievously). "Okay."

TED to CURLY, MOE, and LARRY: (As he has one hand on Curly's shoulder and his other hand on his waist says). "Tell me where you, where you, ah, where you boys from?"

MOE, LARRY, and CURLY to TED: (In unison and in low mischievous monotone voices says as they ar putting their arms around their waists and are bobbing up and down saying). "We're from the south, yazoo, yes sir, hallelujah, yazoo, yes sir, yeah man, yes sir, we're from the south hallelujah.

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (As he does a little dance with one hand on his waist and one hand on Curly's shoulder says in a mischievous voice): "Wait a second, are you, are you boys really from the south?"

LARRY to TED: (As he raises one hand in pride and bows up and down says). "Zellachon, zir laiden."

Moe and Curly and now joining in raising their hands in pride and dancing and bobbing up and down says). "Yazoo, yes sir, yowzir, hallelujah, yazir, hallelujah."

TED to LARRY, MOE, and CURLY: (With a mischief look on his face and one hand on his waist and another hand on Curly's shoulder shoulder). "Are you boy's really from the south? Did you ever, did you ever hear of Abraham Lincoln?"

CURLY to TED: (Walks up to him with a happy look on his face as he extends his hand in a shake of friendship says). "Glad to meet you stranger!"

TED to CURLY: (As he smacks Curly on the head says). "Ah, you stop me, eyh, hey wait a minute."

TED to MOE: (Looking at him stating). "Hey, you in the centre there, with the spitoon hair cut, what ah, what's your name?"

MOE to TED: (With a blank look on his face and in a monotone voice says). "George Washington."

TED to MOE: (Laughing, and using his hands in gesture to represent an axe). "Oh, you picked a good name, say are you the fella that chopped down a cherry tree?"

MOE to TED: (In a total state of perplex). "No, I ain't worked in a year and a half."

TED to MOE: (As he slaps Curly on the face). "In a year and a half, you know, you know Washington's a great man and his partner the great Frenchman, Lafayette, Viva La France."

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now saluting and saying 'Viva La France.'"

As they are saluting Larry blows on a whistle in delight. Larry then clicks his heels together and says as he salutes "Okay, America."

MOE to LARRY: (Moe then gives Larry an eyepoke and says). "Ah, who's asking you!"

With Larry still "blinded" from the eyepoke and is looking around on the floor says. "Wait, now give me my eyes back!"

Moe has now turned to Curly and gives Curly an eyepoke and Curly is rubbing his eyes in pain. Ted then gives Curly a bonk on his head.

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As he is patting them on the shoulder and is approaching Larry). "Wait now, wait a second, boys, wait a second, wait a minute."

TED to LARRY: (As he puts one hand on Larry's shoulder and the other hand on his waist says). "Where, where did you get that whistle son?"

LARRY to TED: (In a happy tone of voice as he looks at the whistle says). "My father gave me the whistle."

TED to LARRY: (With one hand on Larry's shoulder and the other hand on his waist and in a mischief voice says). "The old man gave you the whistle!"

TED to LARRY: (With a gleeful look on his face says). "What is he, a cop?"

LARRY to TED: (With a mischief look on his face and in his voice). "Nah, he's a street cleaner."

TED to LARRY: (Says in a state of mischief with one hand on Larry's shoulder and the other hand on his wais). "Oh, he makes with the garbage, eh?"

LARRY to TED: (In a mischief state says). "But he couldn't work yesterday!"

TED to LARRY: (With a blank look on his face and one hand on his waist and the other hand on Larry's shoulder asks). "No, why not?"

LARRY to TED: (Mischievously). "The wind was against him."

TED to LARRY: (As Ted smacks Larry on his face and Moe reaches over and gives Larry an eyepoke). "The wind, ha-ha, stop that, will you please!"

CURLY to MOE: (As he hits Moe on the shoulder). "Stop that will ya."

Moe is now giving Curly an eyepoke as Ted approaches Curly.

TED to CURLY: (As he grabs Curly by the arm and gives him a hit on the forehead and asks Curly in a state of wonderment). "Now, what happens here, son?"

CURLY to TED: (As he waves his arms in glee and has mischief in his voice states). "Right here's where we go into a snappy gag!"

TED to CURLY: (As he is giving Curly a look of mischief with one hand on his waist and the other hand on Curly's shoulder states). "Well, go into something, will ya, go into a snappy gag."

CURLY to TED: (In a mischief state). "I walk down the street and he says to me did you take a bath?"

TED to CURLY: (Totally confused and has one hand on Curly's shoulder states). "Did you take a what?"

CURLY to TED: (In a state of wonderment and has question in his voice). "A bath."

TED to CURLY: (In a total state of question says). "A bath?"

CURLY to TED: (In a total state of perplex says). "Yeah!"

TED to CURLY: (Totally dismayed). "How do you spell it?"

Ted is now pointing at Moe with Larry by his side.

MOE to TED: (With a blank look on his face and question in his voice). "I never heard of it."

Larry is standing with a dumbfounded look on his face.

TED to CURLY (In wonderment and has one hand on Curly's shoulder and the other hand on his waist). "All righ now, all right go ahead again."

CURLY to TED: (In a bit louder and bit madder tone of voice says). "Now, I walk down the street and I give 'em the first swift gag."

CURLY to MOE: (As he is approaching Moe and shaking his hand happily says). "Hello, Moe!"

MOE to CURLY: (With a look of mischief on his face as he is shaking Curly's hand back says). "Hello kid, did you take a bath this morning?"

CURLY to MOE: (With a perplexed look on his face states as he is still shaking Moe's hand). "Naw, somebody was in the bathroom!"

MOE to CURLY: (With a look of mischief on his face and wonderment in his voice states). "What time was that?"

CURLY to MOE: (In a total mad state). "About nine o'clock."

MOE to CURLY: (In a state of mischief states). "That was my wife."

CURLY to MOE: (Ted is standing in the backgroud laughing and Moe slaps Curly on the head knocking him backwards). "Ain't she skinny!"

MOE to CURLY: (In a really mad state and slaps Curly on the forehead says). "What's the matter with you?"

Ted also hits Curly on his forehead.

MOE to CURLY: (Thoroughly mad as he grabs Curly by the arms). "That's the wrong answer, you rat!"

LARRY to MOE: (As he is approaching Moe madly). "What you say?"

MOE to LARRY: (Spastically mad). "He's a rat!"

Ted, Moe, Larry, and Curly all with looks of wonderment on their faces as Bonnie Bonnell comes stomping onto the stage.

BONNIE to TED, CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (Totally mad). "Did you call me?"

TED to BONNIE: (As he has one hand on Curly's shoulder and Curly is looking at Ted mischievously and Ted is saying to Bonnie in wonderment). "Now, wait a minute, will you leave me alone, miss."

MOE to BONNIE: (As he is pointing a hand at Ted and has madness in his voice says). "What are you doing walking out here and interrupting Ted Heal."

TED to MOE: (In a total state of madness and question). "Ted Heal?"

TED to MOE: (As he still has one hand on Curly and Curly is happy and Moe is looking at Ted mischievously). "How do you like that, Ted Heal."

TED to MOE: (Shouting loudly). "Go ahead!"

BONNIE to TED: (In true state of madness). "You don't have to holler at him!"

Moe and Larry are now giving Bonnie a look of dismay.

TED to BONNIE: (Still in her total state of madness). "What are you out here for miss?"

BONNIE to TED: (As she is standing proudly and waves a finger at Ted says). "Take a number from one to ten."

TED to BONNIE: (In a state of question and mischief on his face with his hands folded behind his back). "Take a number from one to ten."

BONNIE to TED: (In a mad, low monotone voice). "yes!"

TED to BONNIE: (In a true state of wonderment). "I got it!"

BONNIE to TED: (In a state of madness and miscief on her face says). "What is it?"

TED to BONNIE: (With a look of wonderment on his face and mischief in his voice). "Six."

BONNIE to TED: (In a total state of mischief and she snaps her fingers). "Correct!"

BONNIE to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As they huddle together). "Come here a minute!"

TED to BONNIE, MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (Waving a finger in madness and a mad voice). "Now, wait a minute now, here, here, now don't surround me, get out of here!"

Bonnie, Larry, Moe. and Curly are now breaking up their huddle.

TED to BONNIE: (In a total state of dismay while Moe, Curly, and Larry have dumbfounded looks on their faces). "Listen, do that again, I wasn't watching, I'll get it go ahead."

BONNIE to TED: (Standing behind Moe, Curly, and Larry and has a look of dismay on her face says). "All right, all right, take a number from one to ten."

TED to BONNIE: (With his hand behind his back and a look of worry on his face says). "All right, I got it."

BONNIE to TED: (In a pure mischievous state says). "What is it?"

TED to BONNIE: (With a look of worry on his face and in a questionable voice says). "Two!"

BONNIE to TED: (With a blank look on her face and says in a low, monotone voice). "Correct!"

TED to BONNIE: (As Ted is standing there with his hand on his head and his arms crossed and is babbling in question says). "Now, wait a minute, wait a second, I can get that!"

As Ted is pondering over Bonnie being right at his guesses, Bonnie, Moe, Curly, and Larry are standing there and looking at the floor and are slightly laughing.

TED to CURLY: (As he is pointing a finger at Curly and has question in his voice says). "You take a number from one to ten."

CURLY to TED: (As Curly has his hand folded and a look of dismay on his face says). "I got it!"

TED TO CURLY: (With question in his voice and a look of wonderment on his face says). "Six!"

TED to CURLY: (As he snaps his fingers and has a perplexed look on his face states). "I'm wrong, I had five! I don't know how to do this!"

TED to CURLY: (In a total perplexed manner and with one hand on Curly's shoulder). "Hey, wait a second here look at me now, (Ted is shouting), "You take a number from one to ten."

CURLY to TED: (With his hand folded and look of dazement on his faces states). "I got it!"

TED to CURLY: (As Ted has a mad look on his face and has one hand on his waist and his other hand on Curly's shoulder with a look of wonderment on his face states). "Is it one?"

CURLY to TED: (With his hands folded and look of hurt on his face states). "Nope," (Ted then smacks Curly one time).

TED to CURLY: (One hand on Curly's shoulder and the other one on his waist asks). "Not one uh, is it two?"

CURLY to TED: (His hands are dangling in front of him and says in a state of mischief). "Nope," (Ted now has hit Curly twice).

TED to CURLY: (Still in a state of wonderment says). "Not two, unh, is it three?"

CURLY to TED: (In a thorough state of mischief). "Nope," (Ted has now hit Curly thrice).

Moe is now thoroughly disgusted with Curly and he swings Curly around and smacks him on his face.

MOE to CURLY: (Thoroughly disgusted and is shouting at him). "What's the number?"

CURLY to MOE: (In a true state of mischief). "Twenty-two!"

Moe is now mad at Curly at his response and hits poor Curly on the head once again.

Ted then gives Curly an eyepoke while Moe just gave Larry an eyepoke.

MOE to LARRY: (Moe states to Larry madly, as he is giving Larry an eyepoke). "Who asked you anyways."

CURLY to BONNIE: (Who is mad at Moe and asks her). "What did I do?"

TED to CURLY: (Grabbing his shoulder in madness). "Stop that, stop that!"

Bonnie and Moe, Larry, and Curly are now arguing amongst themselves.

TED to BONNIE, LARRY, MOE, and CURLY: (As Ted is thoroughly mad at them says). "I'll tell you one thing, the whole mob of you belongs in a lunatic asylum, in the insane asylum, the four of ya, belong there".

MOE to TED: (As Moe points a finger at Ted and says to Ted mischievously). "You ain't bad either!"

TED to MOE: (As he has a hand on Curly and Curly has a look of dismay on his face and Ted is giving Moe a mad look). "Don't worry about me, I'm the boss, don't worry about me!"

MOE to TED: (In a total state of mischief). "All right boss, can you stand a mental test?"

TED to BONNIE, MOE, CURLY, and LARRY: (As he has a mad look on his face and is crossing his arms in madness). "How do you like that, can I stand, can I stand, why certainly I can stand a mental test!"

BONNIE to TED: (As she points a finger at Ted and says in mischief). "Do what we tell ya!"

TED to BONNIE, CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (In a state of question). "Yeah?"

MOE to TED: (In a total mischief mood). "Put your right hand on your right ear."

Ted is now proceeding with the command of putting his right hand on his right ear, and says "you mean here?"

MOE to TED: (Still supporting that mischief mood of his). "Yeah!"

CURLY to TED: (He is now in total state of mischief). "Put your right foot behind your left!"

Ted in response to Curly, how do you like that, yeah, Ted then goes ahead and puts his right foot behind his left foot.

LARRY to TED: (He is now in a total state of mischief). "Put your right hand on your right hip!"

TED to LARRY: (With Larry still in his mischief state). "Okay."

The Ted goes ahead and puts his right hand on his right hip.

BONNIE to TED: (She is now in a mischief mood says). "Turn your head that way." (She is now pointing to Ted's left side).

MOE to TED: (Still in his mischief mood). "Now, throw your head back!"

Ted is now in the process of throwing his head back.

Bonnie, Curly, Moe, and Larry are now shouting to Ted in a flirtatious manner. "Whoo-whoo-whoo!"

(Clip ends with): TED to BONNIE, CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (As they are making their get away, running off of the stage). "How do you like that?"

(PERSONAL NOTATION HERE: THIS SKIT HERE WAS A POOR REWORK OF THE WONDERFUL ONE: COMPLETED IN "SOUP TO NUTS", "September 28, 1930. BY: TED, LARRY, SHEMP, AND HARRY: DURING THEIR ACT AS THE "GIG AND GAG TRIO." AT THE "FIREMANS BALL"). The version with SHEMP WAS FAR AND AWAY THE BEST.

GENERAL INFORMATION: TED HEALY CONTRACT:

MR. MALTIN: "MGM SIGNED HEALY TO A MOVIE CONTRACT IN 1933 AND HEALY AGREED TO PROVIDE THE SERVICES OF HIS THREE STOOGES AND COMEDIENNE BONNIE BONNELL. IT WASN'T THE CUSHIEST CONTRACT IN THE WORLD. HEALY HAD TO PAY FOR THE STOOGES' WARDROBE HIMSELF. BUT THAT COULDN'T HAVE SET HIM BACK VERY MUCH.

They showed a brief clip of the contract.

BRIEF CONTRACT OF:
PERSONAL SERVICES
To furnish all wardrobe and wearing apparel necessary.

PRODUCER AND TED HEALY:
ON: JUNE 3, 1933:
LOCATION EXPENSES: (Then shows Ted's signature).

SECTION TWO: ("STAGE MOTHER"): (Ted and Larry): (September 29, 1033):

CAST MENTIONED:

ALICE BRADY: (Katherine "Kitty" Lorraine):
MAUREEN O' SULLIVAN: (Shirley Lorraine):
TED HEALY: (Ralph Martin):
LARRY FINE: (Music Store Customer):

MR. MALTIN: "THE STUDIO TRIED ITS BEST TO KEEP THEM ALL BUSY. ONE DAY SOMEONE WAS NEEDED TO DO A BRIEF BIT PART IN "STAGE MOTHER," STARRING ALICE BRADY."

(This clip starts of with Alice Brady, Maureen O'Sullivan and Larry in a music and props shoppe where Kitty and Shirley are getting the different actors their props and other musical choice and Larry is sitting a table with a record in his hand).

KITTY to SHIRLEY: (With a worried look on her face and worry in her eyes). "Will you give this to him, he knows more about it than I do."

MR. MALTIN: "YOUR CUE MR. FINE."

LARRY to KITTY: (As he is holding a record in his hand and is asking here politely). "Ah, will ya play Fuzzie Wuzzie?"

(The above line by Larry was his first and last one of the entire feature).

KITTY to LARRY: (In a perplexed state says). "I'd love too, but I'm busy!"

MR. MALTIN: "THAT'S IT, HE'S GONE AND IT PROBABLY TOOK AS LONG TO SHOOT AS IT DID TO WATCH. NOW TED HEALY HAS A MAJOR SUPPORTING ROLE IN THE FILM, BUT HIS COHORTS ARE NOWHERE TO BE SEEN."

We are now in a back stage area where Kitty and Ralph Martin is practicing her singing act with Ralph.

KITTY SINGING: "She don't even look like a girl, but she is as cute as she can be, she don't......"

RALPH SINGING: "She don't have to wear rats in her hair or straight from X Y Z. Cause any little girly is a nice little girl for me."

As Ralph is singing Kitty is saying to him in glee. Ralph, you're off, oh glad to see ya. Then Kitty joins in with him on the last stanza of the song.

"Cause any little girl that's a nice little girl, is a nice little girl for me."

Ralph is now giving Kitty a giant hug and kiss.

SECTION THREE: ("BROADWAY TO HOLLYWOOD"): (Moe and Curly Solo): (September 15, 1933):

CAST MENTIONED:

FRANK MORGAN: (Ted Hackett).
LEW FIELDS: (Himself).
MOE HOWARD: (Otto, Clown #1).
JERRY HOWARD: (Clown #2):

MR. MALTIN: "FOR ANOTHER SHOW BUSINESS SAGA TITLED "BROADWAY TO HOLLYWOOD". THE SCRIPT CALLED FOR TWO CLOWNS TO APPEAR IN A BACKSTAGE SCENE, WITH ACTOR RUSSELL HARDIE. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THAT'S MOE AND CURLY UNDER ALL THAT MAKE-UP, AND SUPPORTING SOME CURIOUS ACCENTS.

(This clip starts off with a man, (Ted Hackett), carrying a tray of hot coffee and is approaching another man, (Lew Fields), who is sitting at a table totally skunked).

CLOWN #2 to TED HACKETT: (In a Dutch accent and with a happy look on his face as Clown #2 is pointing a finger at the skunked man, (Lew Fields). "He's cockeyed!"

TED to CLOWN #2: (As he is setting down the coffee and says in a worried voice). "Oh, that's nothing new!"

TED HACKETT: (Is now pouring a cup of coffee for the skunked man, (Lew Fields), and is saying). "Come on, here's some coffee!"

CLOWN #2 to OTTO: (As Otto is running in glee to Clown #2). "Otto, what's, what's this blitz!"

CLOWN #2 to OTTO: (Clown #2 to Otto both having happy sounding voices said). "A cold towel for the hot head!"

OTTO to CLOWN #2: (In a really happy state says as Clown #2 is wrapping the towel around the forehead of the skunked man, (Lew Fields), as Ted is pouring him a cup of coffee). "Ah, so good make you feel much better."

After Clown #2 has wrapped the towel around the skunked mans head, (Lew Fields), the skunked man, (Lew Fields), comes too and rips the towel off of his head. While Ted Hackett is offering him a hot cup of coffee knocks it from his hand.

CLOWN #2 to SKUNKED MAN: (As he has a worried look on his face and worriedness in his voice). "Please, vatch the glass vare!"

CLOWN #2 to TED HACKETT: (In a state of worry). "He never eats nothing, that makes him cockeyed!"

TED to CLOWN #2: (As he is looking at the skunked man, (Lew Fields), in a state of worry and is shaking a finger at the him). "Ah, he's all washed up anyhow!"

OTTO to CLOWN #2: (In a total state of mischief refering to the skunked man, (Lew Fields), "We'll take all of his clothes!"

CLOWN #2 to OTTO: (In a laughing voice says happily). "I dominate his pants foist!"

OTTO to CLOWN #2: (Laughing gleefully and responding back in his Dutch accent). "I take the shoes."

As Otto and Clown #2 are laughing happily are now approaching the skunked man, (Lew Fields), and proceding with removing his clothing.

The skunked man, (Lew Fields), is now coming to life and is thoroughly perterbed at Clown #2 and Otto as he slugs Clown #2 in the face.

SKUNKED MAN, (Lew Fields), to CLOWN #2 and OTTO: (As he is engaged in a giant fist fight with them says). "Why you dirty......"

(They end this clip here with the three of them fighting and Clown #2 is laughing hysterically and sends the skunked man, (Lew Fields), flying to the floor).

SECTION FOUR: ("ROAST BEEF AND MOVIES"): (Curly Solo): (February 10, 1934):

CAST MENTIONED:

GEORGE GIVOT: (Gus Parkyurkarkus).
BOBBY CALLAHAN: (Producer V. P. Stooge).
JERRY HOWARD: (Producer Secretary Stooge).
LEE PHELPS: (Attendant).

MR. MALTIN: "FOR ONE TECHNICOLOR SHORT CALLED "ROAST BEEF AND MOVIES", CURLY BILLED AS JERRY HOWARD WAS RECRUITED TO COMPLETE A TRIO WITH GREEK DIALECT COMEDIAN GEORGE GIVOT AND BOBBY CALLAHAN. THIS SHORT WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN FOR HEALY AND HIS STOOGES. WHY IT WAS RECAST, AND WHY MGM WOULD ASSIGN CURLY TO WORK WITH TWO COMICS OTHER THAN MOE AND LARRY IS TRULY A MYSTERY. BUT THEN, SO IS THE HUMOR IN THIS PARTICULAR FILM. ONE THING'S FOR SURE THIS TRIO WAS NO THREAT TO THE REAL STOOGES.

(This clip starts off with Producer Secretary Stooge eating a sandwich and drinking some juice).

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: (As he is walking up to him and takes the juice and sandwich from his says). "Hey what are ya not any good?"

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: (With a mad look on his face says). "I'm hungry."

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: (As he is shouting loudly to him). "Say can't you think about nothing, something for to eat?"

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: (Mad and waving a finger at him). "Why can't I eat my lunch?"

As Producer Secretary Stooge and Gus Parkyurkarkus are arguing about him eating something, Producer Vice President Stooge, sneakly reaches over and helps himself to a celery stalk.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE: (As he madly reaches over and grabs the celery stalk from his says). "Why you, not you am too."

PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: (As he has a mad look on his face and is holding tightly to the celery stalk shouts). "I'm hungry too."

SECRETARY STOOGE to VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE: (Shouting madly at him and in a mad state). "But, you're littler than I am."

Gus Parkyurkarkus conks Secretary Stooge and Vice President Stooge heads together as he has a mad look on his face.

Secretary Stooge is now approaching a bowl of live goldfish and he looks to see if Gus Parkyurkarkus is watching, then Secretary Stooge takes one of the live fishes and eats it.

Secretary Stooge has now finished his fish lunch and is standing beside Vice President Stooge and they knock heads together and they the shake them as their teeth are rattling.

As Secretary Stooge and Vice President Stooge are now finishing konking heads Gus Parkyurkarkus and Attendent are looking over at them in a state of wonderment.

Gus Parkyurkarkus shakes his head in dumfoundedness at Secretary Stooge and Vice President Stooge, then looks at the camera with a stupid look on his face and says "shwoo!"

(This clip ends as the attendant is giving all three of them looks of dismay).

SECTION FIVE: ("OPERATOR 13"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (June 15, 1934):

CAST MENTIONED:

GARY COOPER: (Captain Jack Gailliard).
TED HEALY: (Captain/Doctor Hitchcock).
RUSSELL HARDIE: (Lieutenant Gus Littledale).

MR. MALTIN: "MGM EVEN HAD TED HEALY PLAYING SERIOUS CHARACTER ROLES. LIKE THIS UNION SOLDIER IN THE CIVIL WAR STORY, "OPERATOR 13". BUT SOMETIMES HEALY AND THE STOOGES GOT LUCKY."

CLIP FROM "OPERATER 13":

(This clip starts off with Ted (Doctor Hitchcock), and Russell Hardie, (Lieutenant Littledale), sitting on horses. Then we see Captain Hitchcock with several other Union Soldiers. Captain Hitchcock has jus now saluted his Captain, with a look of dismay on his face while his friend Lieutenant Littledale is standing by him looking at Captain Hitchcock in wonderment).

CAPTAIN HITCHCOCK to CAPTAIN GAILLIARD: (Just after he has saluted him says). "What's gonna be next, a pillow fight?"

CLIP FROM "MEET THE BARON":

We are now on Moe, Larry, and Curly as they are floating down a flooded basement in a gondola and they are singing merrily as Moe is doing the conducting. "A dee, la dee, la dee, la dee, la dee, my Marie, ah, la vee la, dee, la, dee, la vah!"

As Curly, Moe, and Larry are rowing in and singing merrily Ted is standing in the water and watching them happily.

Larry is now all excited and is happily pulling in his fishing line.

LARRY to MOE, TED and CURLY: (In a happy state). "I gotta fish!"

CURLY to MOE, TED and LARRY: (Also in a happy state shouts). "I got a fish!"

MOE to TED, LARRY, and CURLY: (Also in a very happy state says all excited as he also pulls in a fish). "All God's children got fish!"

LARRY to MOE: (As Moe turns to Larry and slaps him across the face). "Let me have it!"

TED to LARRY, MOE, and CURLY: (As he is standing in the water and is looking at The Stooges gleefully says). "Wait a second boys, that's the first fish of season, make a wish!"

Larry, Moe, and Curly are now sitting with their heads in their hands and cocked and are thinking about their wish.

TED to LARRY: (In a concerned manner). "Take your time, son."

LARRY, to TED, MOE, and CURLY: (Says gleefully). "I wish, I wish I was in Dixie!"

As they are playing "Dixie" in the background Moe and Curly turn around and give Larry looks on dumbfoundedness while Moe then slaps Larry across the face with his fish.

MOE to LARRY: (In a state of madness). "You would!"

Curly has now accidentally thrown his fish in Ted's face, after losing his balance in the gondola.

Ted says in a sing-song style of voice holding Curly's fish.

"We'll save this fish for the Baron's breakfast, the best is none too good!"

(This clip ends with the fish slipping out of Ted's hands and a bell goes off as Moe, Larry, Curly and Ted go diving into the water to retrieve it).

SECTION SIX: ("MEET THE BARON"): (Curly, Ted, Larry, and Moe): (October 20, 1933):

CAST MENTIONED:

JIMMY DURANTE: (Joseph McGoo).
JACK PEARL: (Julius, "Baron Munchausen").
ZASU PITTS: (Upstairs Maid).
TED HEALY: (Head Janitor).
MOE HOWARD: (Janitor).
LARRY FINE: (Janitor).
JERRY HOWARD: (Janitor).
EDNA MAY OLIVER: (Dean Primrose).
HENRY KOLKER: (Real Baron Munchausen).
LYNN BARI: (College Girl).
MARGARET NEARING: (College Girl).

MR. MALTIN: "PRODUCER DAVID O. SELZNICK HAD SIGNED RADIO COMEDIAN JACK PEARL, TALE SPINNING BARON MUNCHAUSEN TO STAR IN HIS FIRST MOVIE VEHICLE. PEARL WAS FUNNY, BUT SELZNICK FELT HIS CHARACTER WASN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO CARRY A MOVIE ALL BY HIMSELF, EVEN WITH A CO-STAR LIKE JIMMY DURANTE. SO THE PRODUCER LOADED UP HIS MOVIE, "MEET THE BARON", WITH LOTS OF OTHER COMEDY PEOPLE LIKE ZASU PITTS AND EDNA MAY OLIVER, THE DEAN OF CUDDLE COLLEGE. HE THREW IN A BEVY OF BEAUTIFUL CHORUS GIRLS AND ONE ELABORATE MUSICAL NUMBER. "MEET THE BARON" OFFERED THE STOOGES THEIR FIRST GREAT SCREEN OPPORTUNITY."

(This clip starts off with Julius "Baron Munchausen" and "The real Baron Munchausen," standing in front of a microphone holding a radio press conference).

REAL BARON MUNCHAUSEN to JULIUS: (As he is looking at Julius and pats the microphone says). "The radio world is waiting for news of your recent activities."

REAL BARON MUNCHAUSEN to JULIUS: (As he has a look on wonderment on his face and supporting a serious voice). "So, what was your last great achievement?"

JULIUS to REAL BARON MUNCHAUSEN: (With a look of dismay on his face and question in his voice state). "Well, ah, I was, ah, you'd like to know? Ha-ha-ha."

REAL BARON MUNCHAUSEN to JULIUS: (In a state of question). "Yes, we would."

JULIUS to REAL BARON MUNCHAUSEN: (With a look of mischief on his face and mischief in his voice says). "So would I, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, I was, ah, I was....."

We are now in the bedroom of Joseph McGoo as he is searching frantically through his clothing bureau and then through his shirt and pants and is bobbing up and down in a state of fright as he is looking for his billfold and says in a total state of fear as he slaps his thighs). "Ive been robbed."

We are now in the linen room of "Cuddle College" where the upstairs maid, (ZaSu Pitts), and the Dean of Cuddle College are getting the daily linens in order. while two students are lowering the awning that is supporting the name of the college.

SONG SET-UP:
Then we are at the stage of song and dance routine that has several very beautiful ladies dressed in swim wear in a tropical setting, as a huge waterfall is spewing out a beautiful flow of water.

SONG:

(A maid is now turning on the water):

GIRL ONE: (As she is sponging herself down with a smile on her face). "Clean as a whistle, fresh as a daisy."

GIRL TWO: (As she is dancing and playing in the water). "Spic and spandy."

GIRL THREE: (Smiling as she is scrubbing her back with a back brush). "Then I'll spend my day just wearing a great big smile."

GIRL FOUR: (As she is smiling and washing her back). "Light as a thistle, couldn't be lazy."

GIRL FIVE: (As she is smiling and washing her arm). "Feel good, real good."

GIRL SIX: (Smiling, splashing in the water and washing her back with a back brush). "Life is a pay off, wearing a great big smile."

GIRL SEVEN: (Smiling and washing her face). "Taking off the marks where he needs to meet somebody."

GIRL EIGHT: (As she is smiling and catching the soap that was thrown to her by girl seven). "And the backup, is that sweet somebody."

GIRL NINE: (As she is washing her hair). "Clean as a whistle, pink as a baby."

GIRL TEN: (As she is squeezing a sponge and doing weight lifting imitations). "Got strength, what strength."

GIRL ELEVEN: (Supporting a very beautiful smile). "Spend my day just wearing a great big smile."

We are now on the entire casts legs as they are standing in the water spray and doing a chorus line style of a dance and are singing. "Clean as whistle, fresh as a daisy, brand new, clean through."

And the part of the cast is singing in the background. "Bee-boop-bee-boop-bee-boop-ooh-ooh."

We are now on one of the girls who is dancing a fast paced dance as the other part of the cast is singing. "I'll start my day off wearing a great big smile."

The other part of the cast is once again singing, "Bee-boop-bee-boop-bee-boop-ooh-ooh."

They just raised a black lace curtain and two girls are dancing and playing in the water.

We are now on part of the cast's faces, as they are in the water spray and are singing. "Light as a thistle, couldn't be lazy, feel good, real good, I'll spend my day wearing a great big smile, can't you see we're all excited."

The other part of the cast is once again singing. "Bee-boop-bee-boop-bee-boop-bee-boop-ooh-ooh."

We are now on three of the girls in their swim wear as they are drying themselves off and smiling and singing in unison. "Can't you see we're all excited."

The entire cast is now in the water spray singing. "They are a bunch of rascals, but gee I'd rather answer myself in to a......"

We are now on one of the girls backs as she is sponging it down and is saying "Light as a thistle.....the water stopped."

ANOTHER GIRL: (With a worried look on her face states). "Water!"
ANOTHER GIRL: (With a worried look on her states). "Water!"
ANOTHER GIRL: (Also in a worried state says). "Water!"

END OF THE SONG ROUTINE:

AT THE JANITOR'S STATION:

Dean Primrose is now getting on the telephone and is calling the head janitor, and his three janitorial helpers.

DEAN PRIMROSE to TELEPHONE OPERATOR: (In a mad states says). "Give me the janitor, and keep ringing until you wake him!"

We are now on the Head Janitor and his Three Helpers. They are sitting in their office and playing a game of Bridge and ignoring the telephone that is ringing frantically off of the wall.

Ted is now giving the telephone an ugly look as he reaches over and slaps Curly madly on the face.

TED to CURLY: (With a mad look on his face and madness in his voice). "What's the matter with you?"

Moe is now happily looking at his cards, as the telephone is still ringing frantically off of the wall.

MOE to TED, CURLY, and LARRY: (In a happy state). "Gin!"

Larry is now laughing very happily at Moe's success.

TED to MOE: (In a total state of madness and is shouting at him with a grimace on his face says). "Don't cut my ace, don't you know how to play Bridge?"

MOE to TED: (As he nods his head at Ted and says). "You gave me the nod!"

LARRY to MOE: (As he slaps Moe on the arm and states to him in a total state of madness). "Hey, we're playing for money, no signals!"

TED to LARRY, MOE, and CURLY: (Mad because the telephone is still ringing frantically off of the wall). "I can't concentrate, that phone, get your stuff. (Moe-"I got mine").

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now getting up and grabbing their mallets and pieces of steel and are banging on them loudly as Ted is answering the telephone to pretend that they are working so they can return to their Bridge game.

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (As she jumps back from the telephone in a scared state). "Can't you hear we're busy, call back later, yeah, call back later."

As Ted was completing his telephone conversation with Dean Primrose, The Stooges were happily smiling and dancing in fun as they were beating their mallets on the steel pieces.

Ted has now hung up the telephone, and looks over at Curly and smacks him madly on his head.

Curly the goes to hit Ted in the head with his mallet. Ted playfully hits Curly in the head with a rubber mallet and smiles at him.

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (Smiling at them happily and says to them). "Get back to the game, get back to the game!"

LARRY, CURLY, and MOE, to TED: (As they are walking back to their Bridge game). "It's all right, that's where we were going!"

As Ted and Larry, Curly, and Moe are now going back to their Bridge game, the telephone once again starts to ring frantically off of the wall.

Ted is now answering the telephone and shouts into it madly. "Wrong, number."

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (Just after he has shouted at Dean Primrose, and thinks he has hung up the telephone receiver but didn't and Dean Primrose is hearing everything they are saying. "I guess I told her."

Ted and Larry, Curly, and Moe are now back at their Bridge game.

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (In a state of dismay). "People bothering you."

TED to LARRY: (As he is giving Larry a look of madness asks him). "Have you any tricks?"

LARRY to TED: (In a state of happiness and mischief replies to him). "Have we got any tricks?"

LARRY to MOE, and CURLY: (As he points a finger at them and says mischievously). "Hey, show him that trick."

Larry, Curly, and Moe are now standing up to show Ted their trick.

LARRY to TED: (In a state of mischief says). "We got a trick where I get up on Curly's shoulder and while I am up there, he drinks a cup of coffee."

Curly is now standing up happily as Larry is climbing up on his shoulders and Ted is giving the two of them a idiotic look.

TED to CURLY: (With Larry on Curly's shoulders and Curly is smiling). "Do you drink a cup of coffee?"

CURLY to TED: (With a perplexed look on his face and question in voice). "Yeah?"

TED to CURLY: (As he is giving a mad look and has madness in his voice says). "Do you like sugar in your coffee?"

CURLY to TED: (Still with Larry on his shoulders and smiling at Ted says). "Sure!"

TED to CURLY: (In a state of madness as he hits Curly on the head with his fist, Curly is blocking his face with his hands says). "Here's a lump."

Ted is now sitting back down to the Bridge game, along with Moe and Larry. Curly is now on his way to sit back down, but on the way he hits his head on a hot water pipe and Moe is giving him a mad look.

LARRY to TED: (Shouting at him madly and is pointing a finger at Ted). "Wait a minute, I'm going to deal these cards."

TED to LARRY: (Shouting back at Larry madly). "You're what?"

LARRY to TED: (Thoroughly mad states). "I'm gonna deal the cards."

TED to LARRY: (In a state of madness as he hits Larry on the face as he is pointing at himself and says). "I'm the boss, I'll deal. I'll hit you and give you a crack in the kisser. I'll do all the dealin'."

Ted is now dealing the cards individually for a round and says. "Here's a four for you." (He then gives it Curly). "Here's an ace." (That's for me). "Here's and eight." (He gives that to Moe). "And here's a duce." (He then gives it Larry). "That takes too long, here's some for you, (and gives the first stack to Curly). Here's some for you. (He then gives the second stack to Moe). And here's some for you. (He then gives the third stack to Larry)." Ted then gives the remaining cards to himself.

MOE to TED: (As Moe points a finger at Ted). "What do you bid?"

TED to MOE: (As he is looking at the ceiling, and not looking at his cards, grabs a bid out of the thin air and says to Moe). "I bid four spades."

CURLY to TED: (In a happy state says). "I double."

LARRY to TED, and CURLY: (With a mischievous voice and mischief on his face says). "I re-double!"

MOE to TED: (As Moe is pounding his fist on the table in madness shouts to Ted). "I triple."

TED to MOE: (With a mad look on his face and is shouting madly at Moe). "How do you do that, triple, you can't triple."

MOE to TED: Moe is now standing up in total state of madness as he is looking over at Ted). "Why can't I?"

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is standing up and giving Moe a look of wonder on his face and is pointing a finger at Moe says). "But the man says you can't triple!"

Moe and Curly are both standing up as Moe is now giving Curly an eyepoke.

CURLY to TED: (As Curly is now sitting down and rubbing his eyes says). "How do you like that guy?"

TED to CURLY: (Ted has now given Curly a smack on the face and says to Curly in a state of madness as he standing up and pointing a finger to Moe and then back to himself says). "That argument is between he and me, between he and me."

Curly is sitting down with a hurt look on his face and Moe is still standing.

MOE to TED: (With a look of mischief on his face as Moe is pounding his fist on the table says). "Yeah, and now I can triple."

TED to MOE: (In a total state of question says). "Triple, you wanna triple, you must triple?"

Every time Ted said the word 'triple', Moe said 'yeah!"

TED to LARRY: (Ted is now approaching Larry in a mischievous state says). "Hey, mouse head, come here!"

Larry is now bending over and looking at Ted. Moe and Curly are looking at the two of them mischievously.

TED to LARRY: (Whispering, with Curly listening in). "As he comes over here, trip him!"

TED to MOE: (In a total state of mischief). "Come here!"

Moe is now approaching Ted as he is being tripped by Larry.

TED to MOE: (Laughing mischievously). "Now, you've tripled."

MOE to TED: (In a thorough state of madness as he is getting up). "Ah, that ain't the Culbertson system."

We are now back on Dean Primrose, still on the telephone, hearing Ted and Moe, Larry, and Curly having their arguments about their Bridge game because Ted had forgotten to hang up the telephone receiver.

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED: (Shouting loudly to Ted in a thorough state of madness). "You nincompoop, you idiot, you good for nothing lout, I want you to know that I disapprove of you, don't talk to me, ekhem!"

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (As he madly picks up the telephone and says). "What's the squawk?"

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED: (In a thorough states of madness shouting to him). "You blockhead, if I didn't have the battles of a rifle on my hands, I'd take care of you!"

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (Smiling and saying a state of mischief). "Hiya, Primrose, hunh!"

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED: (In a thorough state of madness is shouting to him). "There's something wrong with the showers, the water's off, hurry, these poor girls are standing around without any clothes on."

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (As he is laughing hurtfully). "Ha-ha, we'll be right up."

Ted is now hanging up the telephone receiver. As Ted was on the telephone, Moe was sitting on the table, while Larry and Curly were kneeling on the floor playing, "Scissors, Paper, Rock."

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As he is running up to them and says mischievously). "Boys, boys, get the tools."

MOE to TED: (With a look of worry on his face and worry in his voice says). "What tools?"

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (Smiling and waving his hands). "The tools we've been using for the last ten years!"

MOE, LARRY, and CURLY to TED: (Speaking in question and in unison say). "Oh, those tools, sure!"

Larry has just now grabbed his bag of tools and is getting ready for the job, just as a bell sounds. Larry then drops his sack of tools and has a worried look on his face as with Ted, Curly, and Moe.

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (As he pushes Curly says). "What's the matter?"

CURLY to TED: (In a state of wonderment says). "Didn't you hear the whistle?"

MOE to TED: (In madness and shouting at Ted). "Time's up."

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (Thoroughly mad at them shouts). "What is the mutiny?"

LARRY to TED: (With a mad look on his face and shouts to Ted madly with his hands on his waist). "No, we're Union men."

CURLY to TED: (In a state of madness waving a finger at Ted). "Local, 464."

LARRY to TED: (In a state of mischief with his hands on waist states). "Telephone Main 1-2-3-4."

MOE to TED: (In a mad state as he is using his hands gesturing hanging up the telephone receiver says). "And, if a man answers, hang up."

TED to CURLY: (As he grabs Curly by the arm says). "Are you gonna work?"

CURLY to TED: (In a state of question as Ted is hitting him on the face). "No!"

TED to MOE: (As he grabs Moe by the arm asks him). "Are you gonna work!?"

MOE to TED: (In a questionable manner as Ted is hitting Moe on his face). "No!"

TED to LARRY: (In a state of madness is shouting loudly at Larry). "Are you gonna work!?"

LARRY to TED: (Shouting in a gruff voice). "I'll work if I feel like it."

TED to LARRY: (With his hands on his waist and question in his voice). "Do you feel like it?"

LARRY to TED: (As he is looking at the floor and has mischief in his voice says). "Yeah, I feel like it!"

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (As he has a look of wonderment on his face and and worry in his voice says). "Now, listen, fellas, listen, let's get organized, you understand? The girls are upstairs taking a shower-bath and the water is stopped, and we gotta fix it."

MOE to TED: (In a state of happiness and mischief in his eyes as he is pointing a finger at Ted. "The girls are in the shower now?"

TED to MOE: (Mischievously). "Yes!"

CURLY to TED: (In a total state of happiness and is smiling from ear to ear). "They're waitin' for us?"

TED to CURLY: (Smiling and in a total state of happiness). "Yes!"

LARRY to TED: (Totally excited says). "And we gotta fix it?"

TED to LARRY: (Smiling and in a total state of glee). "Yes!"

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now eagerly grabbing their bags of tools and are hurrying upstairs to fix the water.

MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (In unison as they are grabbing their bags of tools say). "Wait a minute, wait a minute, let me out!"

TED to CURLY. LARRY, and MOE: (As the Stooges are gleefully hurrying upstairs to repair the water). "I'm the boss, I'm the boss here! Let me out, give me my tools."

Moe, Larry, and Curly are ignoring Ted as they are pushing him aside to get upstairs. Ted, Moe, Larry, and Curly are now running in a hurry to get upstairs. They are now approaching the girls shower room and are stopped by Dean Primrose.

DEAN PRIMROSE: (As she signals with her hand to stop says). "Stop!"

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (As they come to a screeching hault in front of the girls shower room says). "What's the matter?"

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED: (As she is guarding the shower room and has a worried look on her face). "You can't go in there!"

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now totally disgusted as they throw their tool bags down and put their hands on their waists say in unison). "Ooh-ooh-ooh!"

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (Also in a total state of madness and is perplexed). "We can't eh?"

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As he looks at them mischievously and gives them a wink and is pointing a finger over his shoulder at Dean Primrose says). "She don't know us!"

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED, LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (Looking at them madly and says to them in a mad voice). "Apparently you don't know me, I'm the Dean, you hear me the Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean!"

MOE, CURLY, and LARRY to DEAN PRIMROSE: (With really happy, mischievous, and playful looks on ther faces). "You're a better man than I am, gungadean!"

Ted just has now supported a triple face slap to Moe, Larry, and Curly. He is now turning around and looking at Dean Primrose.

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (As he is gesturing with hands in question asks). "Why can't we get in there?"

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED: (With a mad look on her face and is shouting). "Because the girls are in the middle of their shower."

LARRY to DEAN PRIMROSE: (As he is gesturing we won't look with his hand and has a dumbfounded look on his face says). "Oh, we won't even notice them!"

MOE to LARRY: (As he gives Larry a mad look and slaps him on the forehead). "Who won't?"

CURLY to MOE, and LARRY: (With mischief on his face as he is looking crossed-eyed). "You can't say that about us!"

Ted has just now given Curly a swift smack on his face as Moe has given Curly's nose a tweek.

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (With a look of dismay on his face and question in his voice). "Lady, we gotta get in there if you want those pipes fixed!"

As Ted was talking to Dean Primrose, Moe was giving Larry a mad look while Curly has his hands folded and was looking at Ted in wonder.

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED, LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (With a mad look on her face and with madness in her voice says). "Well, I guess it will be all right, if you blidfold your eyes."

MOE to TED: (In a total state of dismay). "What is she talking about?"

TED to MOE: (With a look of wonder on his face and wonder in his voice). "Put a handkerchief over your eyes."

CURLY to TED: (With mischief in his eyes and in his voice). "Like the time we held up the bank?"

Ted has now reached over and gave Curly a swift smack on his forehead.

TED to MOE, CURLY, and LARRY: (In a total state of madness). "No, what's the matter with you?"

Curly, Larry, and Moe are now in a state of mischief put their hands on their foreheads like they were shading them to keep out the sun.

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE): Ted is now in a total state of madness as he is looking at Moe, Larry, and Curly in dismay says). "No, with a handkerchief!"

LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (In unison as they are removing various pieces of dirty cloth from their pockets and are covering up their eyes). "Oh, well, why didn't you say so!"

Dean Primrose closing her eyes quickly then opens them and is now giving Moe, Larry, and Curly a whatever look.

DEAN PRIMROSE to MOE, CURLY, and LARRY: (As she is pointing a finger at them and has madness in her voice says). "Now, remember, one slip of those blindfolds and you will feel my wrath!"

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (With a look of reassurance on his face and in his voice says). "Don't, try to bribe the boys."

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED, CURLY, LARRY,and MOE: (As Ted is now putting on his blindfold as Dean Primrose is opening the door to the girls shower room says). "Come along!"

Dean Primrose has just now opened the door to the girls shower room and is entering in with Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe, as the girls are in their bathrobes sprucing themselves up and they are now shouting and running in every direction in scaredness saying, 'Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!"

DEAN PRIMROSE to THE GIRLS: (In a total state of care is shouting at them and clapping her hands). "Girls, girls, there's nothing to be alarmed about, they're blindfolded."

The blindfolded janitors have now entered the girls' shower room.

TED to the GIRLS: (With a look of care on his face and is wearing his blindfold says). "No, we can't see a thing!"

Ted, Larry, Moe, and Curly supposedly not being able to see anything with their blindfolds on, they can see a liitle bit.

LARRY to TED, MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (All still with their blindfolds on, Larry shouts). "It's a dime!"

All of the "blindfolded" janitors go diving after the dime. As they are diving for the dime, Moe shouts to Larry loudly, "it's my dime".

LARRY to MOE: (In a state of madness as he is pounding on Curly's head). "Wait a minute, wait a second, I got it!"

We are now with Dean Primrose and the girls. One of the girls are sitting on a stool with her night gown on and a towel wrapped around her shoulders, while Dean Primrose is standing next to her and the other girls standing aroud her worried.

DEAN PRIMROSE to SITTING GIRL: (With a look of worry on her face and worry in her voice says). "Don't catch cold!"

Dean Primrose is now approaching the blindfolded janitors with the girls all around them looking at them in wonderment.

DEAN PRIMROSE to the BLINDFOLDED JANITORS: (In a state of madness, as she is pointing to the broken pipes. The janitors think she means the girls). "There they are, now let me see your little hands get busy."

The normal blindfolded Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe now drop their tools and go running over to the beautiful ladies and they are getting up screaming and running away in a total scared state.

Ted, Moe, Larry, and Curly are now running after the beautiful girls while Curly has his hands on one and is getting his hands slapped by Dean Primrose.

DEAN PRIMROSE to CURLY: (As she has slapped Curly's hand in madness). "The pipes are there!"

CURLY to DEAN PRIMROSE: (In a state of mischief says to her). "Oh, it's the pipes that need handlin'."

CURLY to DEAN PRIMROSE: (In a state of madness as he snaps his fingers and walks away towards the pipes). "Shucks."

Dean Primrose is now looking around the shower room and is noticing Ted, Larry, and Moe flirting with the girls.

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED, LARRY, and MOE: (As she is clapping her hands in disgust says). "Boys, boys." (She then gestures with her fingers to where the pipes are and is making them come tothem as the girls are shouting in scaredness).

As blindfolded Larry is running after one of the girls, Dean Primrose grabs him by the hair to stop him, and this also stops Moe, Curly, and Ted.

DEAN PRIMROSE to THE BLINDFOLDED JANITORS: (As she is pointing at the pipes and is centering the janitors around them). "The pipes!"

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (In a total state of mischief asks her). "How do you want them fixed, rare, medium, or well done?"

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED: (As she is giving Ted a look of dismay). "Any way you like, but hurry."

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As they are getting down on their knees still blindfolded Ted state). "All right fellas, concentrate."

Ted, Moe, Curly, and Larry are now kneeling down at the make-up table that is covering the pipes and are using it as a Ouija Board.

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (Ted, Moe, Larry, and Curly are now concetrating as Ted is chanting). "I'm gonna take you in the land of beyond, you are gonna see a beautiful woman, a gorgeous looking creature."

Dean Primrose is now looking at them in a full state of lunacy.

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (As he is completing his chat says to her). "I'm not talking to you toots."

Ted is now returning back to his chant, "and this beautiful little girl is gonna......"

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED: (In a state of dumbfoundedness). "What's the meaning of this?"

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (Laughing mischievosly). "Well, I'm giving it to you medium, ha-ha-ha-ha!"

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED, CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (Thoroughly mad and is shouting at them). "Will you stop this nonsense and get to work you sluggard, you." (She has now applied a face slap to Curly).

CURLY to DEAN PRIMROSE: (Just after she smacked him). "No, he's the sluggard!"

Ted is now hitting Curly in the forehead with his fist in madness.

CURLY to DEAN PRIMROSE: (In a thorough state of madness). "See!"

DEAN PRIMROSE to THE BLINDFOLDED JANITORS: (In a total state of madness as she is pointing at the pipes says). "Will you get to those pipes!"

BLINDFOLDED JANITORS to DEAN PRIMROSE: (As they are folding back the table top over the pipes said in unison). "Will we!"

Ted and The Stooges have just now removed the cover off the pipes and are frantically attacking them still blindfolded with pick axes.

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (In a total state of dismay and is shouting at them). "Wait a minute fellas, now wait a second, wait a minute now, wait a second, listen now, listen up, hurry up take your time. Fall out there, fall out there, come on, come on, lets go to work."

All the while that Ted was hollaring at The Stooges, they were frantically ripping at the pipes blindfolded while Dean Primrose is standing there in a total state of panic and is rubbing her forehead in worry. Four of the girls are also sitting there watching the janitors in total state of worriedness as they are working on the pipes.

As Ted, Moe, Curly, and Larry are sitting down and pounding on the pipes with their hammers, piano music is now starting to play in the background and they are looking up in glee.

The piano is now playing while Ted, Larry, and Moe are pounding the pipes with their hammers in rhythm to the song "I've Been Working On The Railroad," as Curly is sitting on the floor playing the triangle at first, and then moving two giant mallets like boat oars, and the girls are in the background waving their heads to and fro and are whistling to the tempo of the song.

Dean Primrose is beyond mad at Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe with their antics as she is now clapping her hands in disgust.

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED, CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (Madly and clapping her hands). "Boys, boys, stop that racket or else I will expel you."

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (Still blindfolded and says to her in a mad voice). "You'll expel us?"

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (In a state of wonderment). "How do you like that?"

MOE to DEAN PRIMROSE: (Still blindfolded and mad as he is shaking his hand with a hammer in it says). "We'd quit first!"

LARRY to DEAN PRIMROSE: (Who also is blindfolded says in reference to Moe's statement). "Yeah!"

TED to MOE, CURLY, and LARRY: (In a mischievous state asks them). "Are we men or rats?"

MOE, LARRY, and CURLY, to TED: (Respond to him in unison). "Rats!"

Dean Primrose is now putting her hands on her head thoroughly disgusted at Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe.

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (As he is sensing that she is beyond mad at him and Curly, Larry, and Moe says). "We'll get this fixed!"

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (Ted and The Stooges are now standing up still blindfolded, as Ted is putting a chisel on one of the pipes and says to Curly). "Here, Curly, hold this!"

Curly is now holding the chisel as Ted is going to hit it, but misses and hits Curly on the head and sounds off a bell like at the fair when you have won a prize.

MOE to TED: (As the bell goes off and Moe hands Ted a cigar says). "Here you are sir!"

TED to MOE: (As he takes the cigar from Moe and sniffs it as he puts it in his pocket and says to Moe). "Pretty, good!"

Ted then proceeds to hit the chisel once again, but instead hits Curly on the head sounding off another prize bell, with several rings.

LARRY to TED: (As the jackpot bell goes off and Larry is handing Ted a large doll says). "Another winner!"

TED to MOE: (Still blindfolded as he is handing Moe his doll says). "Sign that for me!"

Ted is now in the process of going to hit the chisel for the third time but he is stopped by Dean Primrose.

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED: (As she is running up to Ted and shouting at him madly). "Stop, you fool, are you trying to kill this man?"

CURLY to DEAN PRIMROSE: (As he is standing up and stomping his feet in madness and shouts to her). "Why don't you mind your own business."

TED to CURLY: (Looking at him through his blindfold says to him madly). "Shut up, I'll do the talking, I'm the boss, ain't I?"

DEAN PRIMROSE to TED: (In a state of carrying towards Curly says to him). "Well, you're not getting any place, you better try a little chiseling."

CURLY to DEAN PRIMROSE: (Pointing a finger at her still blindfolded says to her mischievously). "Oh, he's great at chiseling!"

TED to CURLY: (In a total state of madness says). "You know what's coming to you, don't you?"

CURLY to TED: (In a total state of mischief and in a low monotone voice says). "Certainly!"

Curly then his himself on the forehead and then puts up his arm to block off Ted.

TED to CURLY: (Turning away and snaps his fingers and says). "Okay!"

Ted is now approaching Moe and Larry who are holding Ted's bag of tools like a bag of golf clubs.

TED to MOE, and LARRY: (In a state of mischief as he is handing Larry his mallet and says). "Give me my mashie!"

LARRY to MOE: (Looks at Moe blankly). "Number five!"

MOE to TED: (Moe is now taking out a pick axe and is handing it to Ted as says to him in a low monotone voice). "There you are". Larry then replies, "That's it!"

Ted is now approaching the pipes while Curly is standing there blindfolded and Dean Primrose is looking at him in a total state of awe.

Ted is now approaching the pipes blindfolded and with his "mashie" in his hand.

TED to DEAN PRIMROSE: (As he is getting ready to swing his "mashie" says). "Hey, Deanie, get a load of this shot!"

As Ted is getting ready to hit the pipes with the "mashie", Dean Primrose is standing there looking at Ted in a total state of dismay as Curly is shouting still blindfolded). "Fore!"

(This clip ends with Ted hitting the pipes with his "mashie" and he has exploded the pipes and is sending water flying every which way).

SECTION SEVEN: ("THE BIG IDEA"): (Moe, Larry, Curly, and Ted): (May 12, 1934):

CAST MENTIONED:

TED HEALY: (Himself):
MOE HOWARD: (Stooge):
LARRY FINE: (Stooge):
JERRY HOWARD: (Stooge):
MURIEL EVANS: (Ted's Girlfriend):
TUT MACE: (Dancer):
THE MGM DANCING GIRLS:

MR. MALTIN: "HEALY AND THE STOOGES ALSO STARRED IN THEIR OWN TWO REEL SHORT SUBJECTS. BUT THESE ARE A FAR CRY FROM THE FAST MOVING COMEDIES MOE, LARRY, AND CURLY WOULD MAKE ON THEIR OWN AT THE COLUMBIA STUDIO. MGM SAW THESE SHORTS AS AN EXCUSE TO USE UP SOME OLD AND DISCARDED MUSICAL SEQUENCES FROM THE STUDIO'S FEATURE FILMS."

(This little clip starts off with Moe, Larry, and Curly marching into Ted's office that is totally cluttered with papers on the floor and his desk has a typewriter on it. His girlfriend is sitting behind the des and Ted is standing up with a mad look his face and his hands on his waist and he is smoking a stogie. Moe, Larry, and Curly are now standing in front of Ted and are auditioning for a musical act playing "Yankee Doodle" on their French Horns and bobbing up and down with the tempo of the music).

Moe, Larry, and Curly have finished playing their song and they have now lowered their insturments and slightly loose their balance as Moe looks over to Larry and gives him a mad look.

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now standing in front of Ted's desk, holding onto their instruments and are looking at Ted in wonderment at Ted's outcome of their performance.

As Ted is now standing up, Moe, Larry, and Curly are raising their hats as their French Horns are now spraying water all over Ted and his girlfriend. Ted is now wiping the water off of his face as his girlfriend was hiding behind a broom to void being hit with the water.

Moe, Larry, and Curly have now put back on their hats and their instruments have now stopped spraying water at Ted and his girlfriend.

TED to his GIRLFRIEND: (Ted is in a happy mood and is pointing a finger and his girlfriend is sitting behind the desk). "And a year later, the boys, they owned their own show and their mother was there the opening night and she sat in the front row. She saw hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful dancing girls with very little clothes on."

(This clip ends with "THE MGM DANCING GIRLS" completing a dance routine):

There was a four tier spinning set of circles lined with the girls dressed like giant springs, with their arms bent at the elbows and are standing still as they are spinning around.

There are more girls on the floor do a quick side step shuffle and then turn around and go tapping in towards the display while they are getting showered with a spray of smoke. The head dancer, Tut Mace comes marching out gleefully and bows.

SECTION EIGHT: ("NERTSERY RHYMES"): (Ted, Moe, Larry, Curly, and Bonnie): (July 06, 1933):

CAST MENTIONED:

TED HEALY: (Pa-Pa):
MOE HOWARD: (Son):
LARRY FINE: (Son):
JERRY HOWARD: (Son):
BONNIE BONNELL: (The Good Fairy):

MR. MALTIN: "THEY EVEN FILMED THE STOOGES' SCENES IN "NERTSERY RHYMES" IN TWO COLOR TECHNICOLOR, JUST TO MATCH THE LOOK OF A MUSICAL NUMBER THEY WANTED TO GET RID OF. ENTER BONNIE BONNELL THE FIFTH MEMBER OF TED HEALY'S TROUPE WHO MIGHT BE CALLED A 'STOOGETTE'. THERE ISN'T MUCH SLAPSTICK IN THESE EARLY SHORTS BUT THERE IS NO SHORTAGE OF SLAPPING."

(This clip starts off with Moe, Larry, and Curly in their bed fast asleep, while a cookoo clock is chiming five o'clock in the background. Pa-pa who is dressed in a tuxedo and top hat walks in quietly and pats Curly on the forehead. Curly then raises his head to see who has patted him on the head. Curly is now sitting up in the bed).

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (As he is sitting up in the bed says). "Pa-pa, Pa-pa, please tell me a bedtime story."

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (In a low tone of voice). "Shhhh, quiet, son."

Pa-pa has just now turned on the lights in The Sons bedroom that is decorated with a teddy bear sitting on table playing with alphabet blocks. An elephant that is designed like a rocking horse. Toy sail boat on their dresser. Murals on all walls of boys and girls playing outside. Kiddie sized chairs and tables. A basketball in a corner. Stack of picture blocks by the basketball. Pull toy dog. A dressing table with numbers on it. Tied back pink satin and white lace curtains. Pink and white bed linens. White bed trimmed in pink edging.

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (Dressed in footed pajamas and is please asking father to tell him a story). "Pa-pa, would you please tell me a bedtime story?"

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (In a state of dismay says). "Would you please be quiet, you'll wake up the other two boys."

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (Dressed in his footed pajamas and is sitting on the side of his bed and is slightly shouting). "I don't care about the other boys."

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (As he gently pats Curly on the shoulder and says to him in a caring tone of voice). "Pa-pa is talking to you, be quiet, you'll wake up the other two boys!"

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (Holding his hands together, and still sitting on the side of the bed, is shouting in a pleading tone of voice). "I want to hear a bedtime story!"

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (Laughing mischievously and slaps Curly on the forehead sending Curly backwards landing on top of Moe). "I'll gouge your eyes out, quiet I told you, quiet."

Son Curly has now woken up sons Moe and Larry.

BROTHERS MOE, and LARRY, to BROTHER CURLY: (As they are sitting up in the bed mad, and Moe is giving Curly an eyepoke say to Curly in unison). "Hey, what's the idea?"

BROTHER LARRY to BROTHER MOE: (As he hits Moe and says in reference about Moe picking on Curly). "Leave him alone will ya?"

Moe now administers an eyepoke to Larry.

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (In a total state of madness as he is pointing a finger at Curly says). "Now, wait a second, wait a minute, you know, you started the whole thing, you know that don't you? You're a very, very bad boy!"

Pa-pa has now bonked son Curly on the head and bells have now sounded.

PA-PA to HIS SONS: (In a low tone of voice and in worry says). "Did you hear that? He's got a musical head."

SON LARRY to PA-PA: (In a total state of mischief as he reaches over and bonks Curly on the head, says). "Yeah, he's got a musical head, let me try it."

PA-PA to SON LARRY: (As Larry got no results in hitting Curly on the head). "No, no that's not the place, that's not the place!"

SON MOE to PA-PA: (In a total state of mischief as he goes to hit Curly on the side of the head and not getting any musical results). "There it is!"

PA-PA to his SONS: (In a mischievous state and worry in his voice says in reference to Curly's musical head). "No, that's not the place, here!"

Pa-pa has once again conked son Curly on his forehead and then bells sound again.

PA-PA to SON MOE: (In reference where to his Curly on the head to make bells). "There it is, mark that!"

Son Moe is now drawing an "X" on Curly's forehead.

PA-PA to SON MOE: (Happily and in a mischief state). "Here, that's it!"

Pa-pa has just now bonked son Curly on his "X" and once again bells have sounded. This in the itroduction to father's musical bedtime story.

MUSICAL INSERT ONE:
PA-PA: "Listen, my children, and you shall hear, of the midnight ride of Paul Revere."

SONS: "Why, you don't mean the ride of Paul Revere?"

PA-PA: ""Yes, I mean, the ride of Paul Revere."

SON LARRY: (Spoken and question). "Who was Paul Revere?"

PA-PA: (Spoken to son Larry in answer to his question). "Who was Paul Revere?"

SON LARRY: (Spoken to father in a questionable state). "Yeah!?"

PA-PA: (Spoken to son Larry). "Are you kidding?"

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (In a state dismay). "Look at me son, what happened in 1776?"

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (In a state of mischief). "What street?"

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (As he hits son Curly on his musical "X"). "Aren't you the one?"

PA-PA: (Singing). "Paul Revere, was told to me, was the famous jockey of history."

SONS: (Singing in glee and getting into the story). "Not, the famous jockey of history?"

PA-PA: (Singing). "Yes, the famous jockey of history."

SONS: (Now are really involved with the song are now making movements like riding a horse in a horse race saying). MOE: "That's it boys!" CURLY: "There off!" LARRY: "At the last run, come on, come on, come on, whoop dee-do." CURLY: "The winner."

Pa-pa now has hit son Curly on his musical "X" to sound the bell to start singing again.

PA-PA: "Listen my children, and you shall here, the midnight ride of Paul Revere."
END OF MUSICAL INSERT ONE:

As pa-pa was singing the above phrase the sons dove for cover under their bed linens. The sons are now un-covering themselves and are sitting up.

PA-PA to his SONS: (As the sons are sitting up in happiness and are pushing back their bed linens). "Now children, I am gonna tell you a bedtime story."

SONS: (Are now getting out of their bed all excited and are saying in unison), "Oh, good tell us a bedtime story!"

PA-PA to his SONS: (As the sons are all excited and pa-pa is sitting down). "Wait a second, so sit upon my knee little ones."

The sons are now out of their bed, and instead of ending up sitting on pa-pa's knee, they are in a big chain and pa-pa is sitting on the edge of the bed.

PA-PA to his SONS: (As the sons are now on the chair and father is relaxing on the bed states). "Thank you very much children."

SON LARRY to PA-PA: (In a state of madness as he is watching his father lounge out in the bed says). "I thought you were gonna tell us a bedtime story?"

PA-PA to his SONS: (As he is getting out of the bed says). "I'll tell you bedtime story, relax!"

SPOKEN STORY INSERT ONE:
PA-PA: "Once upon a time, there was a fella called Paul Revere."

SON LARRY to PA-PA: (In question). "Where was he born?"

PA-PA to SON LARRY: (Mischievously). "He was born in Canada."

SON MOE to PA-PA: (In question about the location in Canada). "What part?"

PA-PA to SON MOE: (In a state of mischief). "Houston, Texas."

PA-PA to HIS SONS: "He lived, he lived, ah in Montréal, that's a beautiful city, Montréal. You go way up in the mountains in a log cabin and you open the window and the sunshine in the morning smacks you right in the face." (Pa-pa has now hit son Curly on the cheek).

SON LARRY to PA-PA: (In a questionable state). "What was that!?"

PA-PA to his SONS: (As he is pointing his finger in the air and has a state madness in his voice). "I say, you get yourself a log cabin, and you open the window and in the morning the sunshine smacks you right in the face." (Pa-pa once again smacks son Curly on the cheek).

Pa-pa is now trying to continue his story as he is pointing a finger in the air.

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (On his knees and is interrupting his father in a questionable state). "Pa-pa, will you get up in the moonlight?"

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (Looking at son Curly madly). "I will son, I will!"

Son Moe now reaches over and smacks his brother on the head.

PA-PA to his SONS: (With a look of madness on his face and a mad tone of voice). "Now, wait a minute boys, don't start no argument, Dad is telling the story."
END OF SPOKEN STORY INSERT ONE:

START OF SPOKEN STORY INSERT TWO:

The sons are now gathering around their pa-pa with looks of happiness and contentment, as father is once again getting ready to tell his bedtime story.

PA-PA: "One night, late, late, it was around midnight, Paul Revere, he started for the cabin door, and he met a wild, ferocious looking Indian.

SON LARRY: (Has now put his hand on his lips and said). "Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!"

Pa-pa now in a state of madness hit son Larry over his head with his cane.

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (As he is kneeling on the floor and is asking father in a questioning state). "What was the Indian's name?"

PA-PA to SON: (In a serious manner said). "This Indian's name happened to be 'Chief Belch-In-The-Face."

PA-PA to ALL HIS SONS: "And he was a wild character, a wild looking Indian, and he bumped into Paul, and he says Paul, and he hit Paul right there, (once again father bonks son Curly on his forehead again).

"And Paul grabbed him," (pa-pa has now grabbed son Curly on his cheek again).

"And he slapped him and he holds him." (pa-pa is now squishing son Curly's head really meanly), "And he stewed him and hit him."

(As pa-pa is telling this portion of the story in a mean state, hitting son Curly, giving him eyepokes, and really squishing his head), sons Larry and Moe are looking at their brother Curly in pain and is giving pa-pa a horrified look).

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (As he free's himself from Pa-pa's mean grip says). "Pa-pa."

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (Now calmed down but still slightly made says). "Yes, son!"

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (Pointing a finger at his brother Larry and says in a very pleasant tone of voice). "Pa-pa, will you tell him the story?

SON LARRY to PA-PA: (In a worried state and not wanting pa-pa to squish the stuffings out of him says). "Oh, no, no, I heard it, I heard it!"
END OF SPOKEN STORY INSERT TWO:

START OF SPOKEN STORY INSERT THREE:
SON MOE to PA-PA: (In a total state of glee and a smile on his face). "I didn't hear it Pop"

PA-PA: (I am gonna tell you the story). "And this Indian started down a narrow pathway and bumped into another wild Indian.

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (As he raises two fingers and says happily). "That makes two Indians."

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (In a state of dismay states). "Yes, two!"

BROTHERS LARRY, and CURLY: (Sitting on their bed and puts their hands to their lips and says). "Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!"

Pa-pa has now once again hit poor, pathetic son Curly on the forehead just after Larry and Curly completed their Indian imatations.

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (As he once again hits poor, pathetic, battered, son Curly on the forehead again says). "And that, is for nothing son!"

PA-PA: "And these two Indians with fire in their eyes, arm and arm they walk together and they bump into another fellow called "Sitting Bull."

SON MOE to PA-PA: (Asks in a questioning manner and mischief on his face). "Hey, is that three indians?"

PA-PA to his SONS: (In a mad state). "Yes, three Indians!"

The three brothers are now marching around their chair patting their lips and saying 'woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo' like a bunch of wild savage Indians a war rampage.

PA-PA to his SONS: (As the brothers are doing their Indian imitations, pa-pa is sitting on the bed and is saying). "They started off after him, I grabbed the gun, (pa-pa is now using his cane like a gun). "The I put hands around him, and I strangled him." (Pa-pa is now gesturing strangling motions with his hands). "And the I grabbed a pistol, and I shot the pistol in the air." (Pa-pa after he has finished shooting his revolver the brothers have now stopped their savage Indian imitations)."

THE BROTHERS to PA-PA: (As they are looking around in a total state of panic says in unison). "What happened?"

PA-PA to his SONS: (In a state of mischief says). "Ha-ha, and that's the story of Paul Revere!"

Pa-pa has just now completed his bedtime story and is getting up off of the bed and is walking away.
END OF SPOKEN STORY INSERT THREE:

SON LARRY to PA-PA: (In a questioning state). "Pa-pa?"

PA-PA to SON LARRY: (As pa-pa is turning around and looking at Larry after he has tapped his cane on the floors says). "Yes, son?"

SON LARRY to PA-PA: (Sitting on the side of the chair and asks in a state of miscief). "Was he married?"

PA-PA to his SONS: (As he is pointing his cane in the air and states in reference to Larry's question). "Are you getting personal? Yes, he was married, he ah, he married an English girl, and he was married a fortnight, and he came home early one night, and he rapped, he rapped upon the cabin door."

Pa-pa has now run up to an outside door and knocks on it. A lady, (Bonnie Bonnell), answers by saying. "Come in!"

Pa-pa is in a quiet state says as he has just made a few Indian imitations, "Wait a second, ha-ha."

PA-PA to his SONS: (In a state of wonderment as he points his cane at them says). "Boys, you haven't been holding out on the old man have you?"

SONS: (In a state of question). "No."

PA-PA to his SONS: (As he is approaching his sons in a state of dismay says "There's something wrong here, some place"). "He married an English girl, he came home early one night, and he knocked upon the cabin door."

Pa-pa is now opening the door and the Good Fairy is now entering the brothers bedroom and is saying as she is dressed in a beautiful full length white fur trimmed cape and a skimpy two piece bathing suit and a crown on her head.

PA-PA to the GOOD FAIRY: (As he has now turned around and is giving her a blank look with his cane in one hand and the other hand on his waist says). "Wait a second, what, ah, what you want lady?"

GOOD FAIRY to PA-PA: (With a look of happiness on her face says). "I am the good fairy, what wouldst thou of me?"

PA-PA to the GOOD FAIRY: (In a state of dismay with one hand on his cane and the other upon his waist says in a low monotone voice). "What wouldst thou?"

PA-PA to his SONS: (With a look of wonderment on his face and scaredness in his voice says). "This girl is insane!"

PA-PA to the GOOD FAIRY: (In a perplexed state asks her). "What, eh, what you want, what's your game, you got a racket or something?"

GOOD FAIRY to PA-PA: (In a caring manner says). "No, you don't understand, I am the good fairly and all night long I have been putting little children to sleep. Hast thou any children?"

PA-PA to the GOOD FAIRY: (Thoroughly perplexed). "Do you mean, have I any children?"

PA-PA to the GOOD FAIRY: (As he is now turning around and pointing a finger at his sons says). "What do you think they are, baboons?"

The brothers are now giving Pa-pa looks of hurt at his comment.

MOE to the GOOD FAIRY: (In a sweet tone of voice and a smile on his face says). "Good Fairy, would you put us to sleep?"

As Moe is asking the Good Fairy to put them to sleep, Curly and Larry are looking at her with glee in their eyes.

PA-PA to the GOOD FAIRY: (In a state of mischief says to her). "Ha, ha, good idea, would you put us to sleep?"

The Good Fairy has now raised her arm and is pointing in the direction of the brothers.

GOOD FAIRY: (She is pointing at Curly and says). "Get in!"

PA-PA to his SONS: (Pa-pa has now jumped up on the bed and is blocking off the boys and in a state of madness grabs Curly by the shoulder). "Now, wait a second fellas, wait a minute, wait a second, now we'll start together, remember, ha-ha, it's every man for himself."

GOOD FAIRY'S SONG SHE IS SINGING:
"Now pay attention my little man, and I'll tell you the story of the lady and the fan. She was a princess in a foreign land, oh, a prince came along, to win her hand. She spoke a language he didn't understand. But she had a way of showing him that he was grand. And she did this with her little fan. Whe she moved her fan in a certain way, oh and then she would admit that she would like to have him stay. Why, when she held her hand just so, admit that she wanted him to go."
END OF THE GOOD FAIRY'S NUMBER ONE SONG:

All the while that the Good Fairy was singing, pa-pa was shouting to her in happiness, 'sing it,' while the brothers were standing on the bed with pa-pa they were fighting over the good fairy. Moe was giving Larry slaps on his face along with eyepokes, plus Moe was doing the same to Curly. Larry is hitting Moe on the head. Pa-pa has reached over and smacked Curly. The brothers are now involved in a free-for-all fight. Exchanging head smacks and eyepokes with one another. Pa-pa reaches over every so often and smacks Curly on his forehead. Plus the Good Fairly was doing a fast paced soft shoe dance, pacing back and forth in their bedroom.

PA-PA IS SINGING IN REFERENCE TO THE GOOD FAIRY' SONG:

"She absolutely, positively, don't mean nothing else but the story of the lady and the fan."

NOW THE SONS ALONG WITH PA-PA AND THE GOOD FAIRY ARE SINGING TOGETHER:

"Oh, she absolutely, positively don't mean nothing else but the story of the lady and the fan."

They are now raising their arms in a finish to their song.

As they all are done singing, the brothers bed has now broken sending pa-pa and them crashing to the floor and the Good Fairy is now staggering to regain her balance.

The brothers are now in their bed and are fast asleep. While pa-pa is happily kissing the Good Fairy. Pa-pa is now holding on to the Good Fairy's hand as they are leaving the boys' bedroom in a happy manner.

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (In a worried state has now woken up again and says). "Pa-pa, will you tell me another bedtime story?"

GOOD FAIRY to PA-PA: (As she is giving pa-pa a look of happiness says to him). "i'll put the little darling to sleep with a song."

PA-PA to the GOOD FAIRY: (Stating, totaly mad at son Curly says to her). "I'll put them to sleep with this." (Pa-pa then reaches over and bonks son Curly on the forehead with his fist).

As son Curly is falling backwards, from pa-pa's hit, he has now woken up Larry and Moe.

CURLY to his BROTHERS MOE and LARRY: (In a state of madness). "Hey, wait a minute, what's going on, I didn't mean it, I am sorry!"

The brothers are now out of their beds once again. Moe has now given Curly an eyepoke and then turns around and gives his brother Larry a smack on the face. Pa-pa has now hit Curly on his forehead once again.

SON MOE to his BROTHERS CURLY, and LARRY, and PA-PA: (With a look of madness on his face and madness in his voice states). "Every time I get to bed something happens."

PA-PA to his SONS: (As he walks past them states). "Quiet children, please. Quiet now wait a minute. These are lovely children." he says to the good fairy).

PA-PA to his SONS: (In a mad state). "I had four boys, ha-ha, but I had to drown one. I threw him in the lake, tied to a big anchor. But this happens to be the smartest of the three." (Pa-pa is now patting his son Larry on the back in pride and Larry is smiling proudly).

SON LARRY to PA-PA: (As he hits Larry on the shoulder says). "This is Junior. Smile, Junior."

Son Larry is now standing there with a great big smile of pride on his face.

All the while that Pa-pa is bragging up his son Larry, sons Moe and Curly are standing in the background with worried looks on their faces.

THE GOOD FAIRY to PA-PA: (The Good Fairy is now approaching Larry as she puts a hand on Larry's shoulder and looks at him in wonder asks pa-pa). "You don't mind, if I interrogate him, do you?"

Larry is now standing there with a worried look on his face to the Good Fairy.

PA-PA to the GOOD FAIRY: (In a worried state says). "No, he's kinda young, but it's all right!"

GOOD FAIRY to son LARRY: (Larry is now looking at her adorningly and she says to Larry in a carrying manner and in a questionable voice says). "I'm gonna ask you a question, my little man. If I gave you a dollar and your father gave you a dollar how many dollars would you have?"

SON LARRY to the GOOD FAIRY: (In a mischievous state says). "One dollar!"

PA-PA and BROTHERS MOE and CURLY and the GOOD FAIRY: (Say to him in unison). "No, not right!"

PA-PA to his SON LARRY: (With a hand on his shoulder and worry and care in his voice says). "Think now, think now, son!"

All the while that Larry is getting interrogated by the Good Fairy, Curly and Moe are standing in the background with worried looks on their faces.

GOOD FAIRY to SON LARRY: (In a supportive state slowly asks him once again). "If I gave you a dollar, and your father gave you a dollar how many dollars would you have?"

SON LARRY to the GOOD FAIRY: (Gesturing with his hand and shouting). "One dollar!"

GOOD FAIRY to SON LARRY: (In a state of worry says). "I can see you don't know your arithmetic."

SON LARRY to the GOOD FAIRY: (As he has a devilish look on his face and mischief in his eyes as he is turning around and looking at pa-pa says). "I can see you don't know my father."

Pa-pa is now grabbing his son Larry by the arm in a total state of anger.

PA-PA to his SON LARRY: (In a state of anger hits Larry on the face and says to him). "Ha-ha-ha, you don't know my father!"

PA-PA to the GOOD FAIRY: As pa-pa has now walked past his sons and is approaching the Good Fairy and says to her in a state of anger in reference to Larry). "Terrible child!"

The brothers are now engulfed in a fight. Moe has just given Larry an eyepoke and a slap on his arm.

CURLY to his BROTHER MOE: (As he slaps Moe on the arm angrily and says). "You're always picking on him!"

BROTHER MOE to his BROTHERS CURLY, and LARRY: (In a state of anger as he slaps Curly on the face says). "What's the matter with you guys?"

Curly has turned around to the pa-pa about Moe picking on Larry, but before he could say anything pa-pa has once again smacked poor Curly on his forehead once again and Curly is loosing his balance. Moe has now helped Curly up as Larry is rubbing his sore face.

PA-PA to his SONS: (As he is now thoroughly disgusted with them says). "Wait a second, get up here, get up here!"

Moe now cuts in on the fight raising his finger to gesture everyone down.

SON MOE to PA-PA and his BROTHERS LARRY, CURLY, and the GOOD FAIRY: (Moe now has a very feminine look on his face as he is supporting a lady type of voice says). "A little poem!"

PA-PA to his SON MOE: "A little poem".

Moe is now supporting a very feminine look on his face and is supporting a ladies voice pitch as he goes to recite his poem.

MOE'S POEM:
"Little fly upon the wall, ain't you got no clothes at all? Ain't you got no pettiskirt, ain't you got no shimmy-shirt? Boo, ain't you cold?"

PA-PA to his SON MOE: (In anger as Moe was reciting his poem says). "Now, stop that, don't worry, I'll stop him!"

While Moe was reciting his poem, Larry was giving Moe a 'very friendly look.'

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (With a look of mischief on his face and question in his voice says). "Boo, ain't you cold?"

PA-PA to his SONS: (Smacking poor Curly once again on his forehead and is holding his cane and has a perplexed look on his face says). "Wait a second, don't start that!"

The Good Fairy has now raised her hand and was getting ready to hit pa-pa on the head.

CURLY: (As he is holding his hands together and has a look of mischief on his face says). "Little fly upon the wall, ain't you got......?"

PA-PA to his SON CURLY: (As he once again hits Curly on his forehead says to him in anger) "I'll gouge your tonsils out!"

LARRY: (With a look of mischief on his face and gesturing with his hands his version of the fly poem).

LARRY'S VERSION OF THE POEM:
"Little fly upon the track, a train came along and broke his back. Woo-woo!"

The brothers are now lined up like a train and are marching around their bedroom making train sounds. Curly has a lantern in his pajama pants to represent a train caboose light.

Moe now turns around and slaps poor Curly once again on his face. And then Moe slaps Larry on his face and they are chanting 'Doo-wa, doo-wa, doo-wa!"

PA-PA to his SONS: (As he is hits Curly once again on the head and is thoroughly mad at this states). "Wait a second boy, boys, want do you want?"

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (With a look of dismay on his face as he is shouting to pa-pa). "We want another bedtime story!"

PA-PA to SON CURLY: (In a total state of anger shouts back to Curly). "A bedtime story?"

SON MOE to PA-PA: (Pointing a finger at him and has a mad look on his face is shouting back at pa-pa). "Yeah, we want to hear he story about The Woman In The Shoe!

Moe is now pointing his finger in the direction of his closet and has knocked Larry over.

PA-PA to his SON CURLY: (As he once again smacks poor, innocent Curly on the top of his head with his fist in anger). "The Woman In The Shoe," "I'll take that shoe off of the wall and hit you in the head with it."

Pa-pa has now hit innocent Curly once again on his forehead and the bell sounds off and pa-pa is starting to sing! 'NATA HEE-NATA-HEY!"

The brothers are now diving quickly back into their bed and are hiding underneath the bed linens and then are sitting up and looking at pa-pa in total dismay.

PA-PA to his SONS: (As pa-pa is approaching their bedside and says to them in a happy state). "Are you ready children?"

ANOTHER SONG ROUTINE TWO:
PA-PA: "You don't want the lady in the slipper?"

BROTHERS: (Spoken). "No!"

GOOD FAIRY: "You don't want Little Boy Blue?"

BROTHERS: (Spoken). "No!"

PA-PA: "You don't want Jack In The Beanstalk?"

CURLY: "Yes" (Moe hits Curly on the head). LARRY: (Spoken). "No!"

BROTHERS: (Singing): "We want The Woman In The Shoe."

PA-PA: (Looking at the Good Fairy and is singing). "They want The Woman In The Shoe."

GOOD FAIRY: (Singing). "I guess they want The Woman In The Shoe!"

BROTHERS: (Chanting). "Not the man, not the boy, not the cat, not the dog, not the bird, not the horse, not the sheep, not the hog!"

PA-PA: (Singing). "Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee!"

GOOD FAIRY: (Dancing and singing). "Oh they want The Woman In The Shoe, The Woman In The Shoe!"

PA-PA: (Looking at the Good Fairy and singing). "They want The Woman In The Shoe!"

BROTHERS: (As they have their hands on their shoulders). "You said it!"
END OF THIS SONG AND DANCE ROUTINE:

Ted now has the Good Fairy by the arm and is getting fixed to leave as the brothers are sitting in their bed with looks of hurt on their faces.

BROTHERS CURLY, LARRY, and MOE to PA-PA: (As pa-pa is leaving and they have a sad tone in their voices). "Pa-pa?"

Pa-pa is now turning around and going back to the brothers in a state of anger to see what they want.

SON CURLY to PA-PA: (Clutching his hands and asks in a pleading voice as Moe and Larry are by his side with pleading looks on their faces). "Pa-pa, don't go away until you tell us another bedtime story!"

PA-PA to his SONS: (In a thorough state of anger hits Curly again with his cane says). "You want a bedtime story?"

Brothers Moe and Larry are now giving pa-pa happy looks while Curly is sitting on the side of the bed clapping his hands in glee.

PA-PA to his SONS: (Holding his cane and is a total state of dismay). "You asked for it, and you are gonna get it, and you're gonna get it good!"

SONS to PA-PA: (In unison and total happiness). "Good!"

PA-PA to his SONS: (With a look of mischief on his face and madness in his voice states). "Good!!!!"

FOURTH STORY BY PA-PA:
"Once upon a time there was a father and he had three boys. And they belonged in the reform school. And the three boys would not give their father a break. So the father got terribly mad, ha-ha-ha-ha, he got terribly mad. And he reached for a hammer and then he hit one, (Pa-pa hits Curly with a croquet mallet and he falls back on the bed). And then he hit two, (Larry has now been hit on the head with a croquet mallet and he too falls back on the bed). And then he hit three, (Pa-pa hits Moe with the croquet mallet and he also falls back onto the bed). And the children died. And he grabbed the fairy by the arm, (pa-pa is now holding onto the arm of the Good Fairy), and he headed for the beer joint. He lived happily ever after. ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!"
END OF THE FOURTH PA-PA STORY:

Pa-pa has now finished his final story and is leaving with the Good Fairy.

The brothers are now sitting up in their bed and are shaking their heads in pain and wonderment and are getting out of their beds. They are huddled together and Moe says to his brothers let's finish the story.

BROTHER MOE: (In a state of mischief says). "Hey, I got an idea!"

BROTHER CURLY: (In a total state of happiness). "And, he married an English girl!"

BROTHER MOE: (Gesturing with his hands and smiling). "They were married about a fortnight!"

LARRY: (Gesturing with his hands and happiness in his voice). "And he came home early one night and knocked upon the cabin door."

Larry has now knocked on the cabin door and three beautiful ladies respond in unison. "Come in!"

BROTHER LARRY, to BROTHERS, MOE, and CURLY: (In response to the door in a total state of glee says). "Never fails!"

Brothers Moe and Curly are standing by Larry's side and are patting their lips saying 'woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo,' (doing Indian imitations).

(THIS CLIP ENDS AS FOLLOWS):

Larry has now opened the cabin door and three very beautiful girls come out dressed as "Flappers."

CURLY: (With his girl as they are happily walking out the front door says to her). "And they followed in their father's footsteps!.

MOE: (To his girl in a total state of glee and happiness on his face as he is leaving with his girl). "And they went to the beer joint for a drink!"

LARRY: (In total state of joy and happiness and a huge smile on his faces says). "And they lived happily ever after!.

Then the brothers once again do Indian imitations. "Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!"

SECTION NINE: ("BEER AND PRETZELS"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (August 26, 1933): (SEE ENCLOSED TRANSCRIPT):

MR. MALTIN: "IN SOME WAYS, THE VERY FIRST SHORT THAT HEALY AND THE STOOGES MADE AT MGM WAS THEIR BEST. HERE THEN, FROM 1933 IS "BEER AND PRETZELS."

MORE GENERAL INFORMATION:

MR. MALTIN: "THE STOOGES KEPT BUSY DURING THEIR YEAR LONG STAY AT MGM ALTERNATING BETWEEN SHORT SUBJECTS AND FEATURE FILMS.

("THE BIG IDEA"): (Curly, Larry, Moe, and Ted): (May 12, 1934):

CAST MENTIONED:

TED HEALY: (Himself):
MOE HOWARD: (Stooge):
LARRY FINE: (Stooge):
JERRY HOWARD: (Stooge):
MURIEL EVANS: (Ted's Girlfriend):

Here they used the clip from "The Big Idea". Where Moe, Larry, and Curly are marching into Ted's paper cluttered office with Ted's girlfriend sitting by him. They are playing their French Horns for an audition in a musical show.

LARRY to MOE, CURLY, and LARRY: "What do we sing?"

MOE to CURLY, and LARRY: "Hey, about 'Swanee River.'!

SECTION TEN: ("TURN BACK THE CLOCK"): (Curly, Larry, Moe, and Ted): (August 25, 1933):

CAST MENTIONED:

LEE TRACY: (Joe Gimlet):
MAE CLARKE: (Mary Gimlet and Mary Wright):
OTTO KRUGER: (Ted Wright):
PEGGY SHANNON: (Elvina Wright and Elvina Gimlet):
MOE HOWARD: (Wedding Reception Guest):
LARRY FINE: (Wedding Reception Guest):
JERRY HOWARD: (Wedding Reception Guest):

MR. MALTIN: "AUDIENCES NEVER KNEW WHERE THEY MIGHT TURN UP NEXT. IN THE 1933 FEATURE, "TURN BACK THE CLOCK", WHICH STARS FAST TALKING LEE TRACY. WE GET TO HEAR MOE, LARRY, AND CURLY ENGAGE IN ONE OF THEIR FAVORITE ACTIVITIES, HARMONIZING IN SONG."

(This feature starts off with Joe Gimlet Mary Gimlet, Elvina Gimlet, Moe and Larry at the reception room of Mr. and Mrs. Gimlet's wedding. Mr. and Mrs. Gimlet are standing in the background, while Elvina Gimlet is sitting in a chair holding onto a single rose. Moe and Larry are looking at Joe Gimlet).

JOE GIMLET to LARRY and MOE: (He has a perplexed look on his face and waves his hands at them says). "Hey, say, tap the thing out, go ahead!"

Moe and Larry are now leaving the reception area of Mr. and Mrs. Gimlet's wedding to go into the bar area to sing.

MARY GIMLET to JOE GIMLET: (In worried state as Elivna is still sitting in the chair holding her rose). "What's the matter?"

JOE to MARY: (Mad and is slightly skunked says to her). "Nothing, we need to get a little life in here. Come on baby, let's go into the other room."

Mr. and Mrs. Gimlet are now entering the bar area of the reception hall. Where Moe, Larry, and Curly are now singing their song. Curly is doing the conducting and Ted Wright is sitting in a chair in front of Moe, Larry, and Curly singing with them.

SONG BLIP: "By the light of the silvery moon, oh-oh!"

We have now finished the wedding and Moe, Larry, (holding his fiddle), and Curly are now boarding a train bound for Harrisburgh Pensylvania.

CURLY to MOE and LARRY: (Looking around the train station and says in a happy voice). "Lovable Liar!"

LARRY to MOE and CURLY: (Waving his hands and madness in voice asks). "Why, can't we get into one of those New York Show?"

MOE to LARRY: (As he turns around and gives Larry a happy and supportive look, with Curly standing by Moe with a look of wonderment on his face, Moe says). "As soon as they hear me sing?"

MOE: (Singing with Larry and Curly giving him looks of dismay). "I oughta be good, but I guess I will be bad instead!"

As Moe was singing very off key with Larry looking at him in a state of dazement. A mischievous kid approaches Moe and gives him the "raspberry" on a toy yazoo.

LARRY to MOE: (With a smile on his face as he gently pats the kid on the head says). "That kid knows what he is doing!"

CURLY to MOE and LARRY: (As he is looking at them with a look of dazement and using his hands gestures says in reference to Moe's singing). "Pipe down, save it for Harrisburgh."

LARRY to CURLY: (In a state of mischief). "Yeah, Harrisburgh deserves it!"

(This feature blip ends with Moe, Larry, and Curly boarding their train for Harrisburgh Pensylvania).

SECTION ELEVEN: ("FUGITIVE LOVERS"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (January 05, 1933):

CAST MENTIONED:

MADGE EVANS: (Letty Morris):
ROBERT MONTGOMERY: (Paul Porter):
NAT PENDLETON: (Legs Caffey);
TED HEALY: (Hector Withington Jr).
MOE HOWARD: (One Of The Three Julians):
LARRY FINE: (One Of The Three Julians):
JERRY HOWARD: (One Of The Three Julians):

MR. MALTIN: ROBERT MONTGOMERY PURSUES MADGE EVANS CROSS COUNTRY IN THE 1934 MGM RELEASE. "FUGITIVE LOVERS." WHO SHOULD TURN UP ON THIS EVENTFUL BUS RIDE, BUT OUR THREE COMIC FRIENDS."

(This feature starts off with Letty Norris and Paul Porter sitting next to each other on a bus smiling gleefully at one another. Another section of the bus we now see Moe, Larry, and Curly in their seats fast asleep).

Moe, who is part of the singing group "The Three Julians," has now woken up in a horrified state. He is trying to talk, but nothing is coming out. He has put his finger on his larynx to see if he can feel what might be causing his lack of speach.

Moe now tries his voice loudly one more time. He is now standing up in the bus holding onto the berths and now has gotten his voice back and he is singing at the top of his lungs, "Aah-aah-aah-aah-aah-aah-aah-aah!"

He has now woken up Larry and Curly along with the entire bus load of passengers. The passengers are shouting hysterically, "Oh, my gosh what's going on!"

CURLY to MOE: (Curly is now approaching Moe is a worried state says). "What's the matter, what's the matter?"

MOE to CURLY: (In a horrified manner is looking at Curly in worry shouts to Curly in a state of panic). "There's something wrong with my throat, my throat!"

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is looking at Moe worried is now taking the handle of a spoon and is using it as a tongue depressor and is looking down Moe's throat to see if he can find what is wrong.

MOE to CURLY: (Still in a state of worry says to him). "Yeah?"

We are now on the rest of the bus passengers. We are now on Hector Witihington Jr. and he is engaged in a conversation with another passenger, which is Legs Caffey.

HECTOR WITHINGTON JR. to LEGS CAFFEY: (Pointing a finger at him and says to him in a mad state). "I've got enough troubles without you!"

We are now back on Curly and Moe. Moe is still in his horrified state and Curly is still looking down his throat, and finds nothing wrong with it.

MOE to CURLY: (With a look of dismay on his face and worry in his voice says). "Really, I thought it was closing up on me!"

CURLY to MOE: (Giving Moe a look of madness and has madness in his voice says). "Wake me again and I'll close it for good!"

Moe is now in a total state of happiness as he is combing his hair and is approaching Letty Morris, kind of singing, 'mee-mee-mee-mee-mee'.

MOE to LETTY NORRIS: (As he is giving her a look of happiness and is smiling at her asks her). "Hiya, sister, you don't mind if I sit here do ya?"

LETTY to MOE: (Smiling at him joyfully and has happiness in her voice). "I'd be delighted!"

MOE to LETTY: (Asks her in a state of mischief, as he is pointing a finger at Paul Porter who is getting up and leaving). "You with that guy?"

LETTY to MOE: (With a mad look on her face and says in a low, monotone voice). "No!"

MOE to LETTY: (With a happy look on his face asks). "You're in show business, ain't ya?"

LETTY to MOE: (In a state of happiness and has a smile on her face says). "Sure, I was in "Loveable Liar!"

MOE to LETTY: (Is giving her a look of wonderment and has happiness in his voice says). "Say, we almost played together. He wanted me in that show, practically begged me!"

LETTY to MOE: (In a questionable state asks Moe). "He, who's he?"

MOE to LETTY: (In a state of dazement says). "Legs Caffey."

LETTY to MOE: (As she is looking at Moe in a perplexed state asks Moe). "Oh, you know him?"

MOE to LETTY: (With a look of dazement on his face and is slightly laughing). "Know him, say he and I are like that," (Moe then crosses two fingers to represent the closeness of him and Legs Caffey).

All the while that Moe and Letty were engaged in their conversation, Larry and Curly were tentively listening in.

CURLY to MOE: (In a questionable state asks Moe about his crossed fingers and was wondering the order of his crossed fingers). "Who's on top?"

LARRY to CURLY: (In reference to the fingers). "Skip it!"

MOE to CURLY: (Giving him a look of happiness states and answers him about his crossed fingers making mention). "Legs Caffey."

MOE to LETTY: (In a happy and lieing manner says). "I know his whole family, nice people, Legs is a nice fella!"

LETTY to MOE: (In a state of mischief says). "Ah, he is a very nice fellow, the kind that holds the lamp while his mother chops the wood!"

LEGS CAFFEY to MOE: (As he pats Moe on the shoulder and is talking to Moe in a very gruff tone of voice). "Excuse me, buddy, but you're in the wrong pew!"

MOE to LEGS: (Giving him a mean look and is talking gruffly back to him). "Ah, beat it, beat it!"

As Moe is telling Legs to leave, Curly is in the seat behind Moe and making hand gestures to make Legs leave.

Moe is still sitting in his same bus seat and is totally ignoring Legs and is back to talking with Letty.

MOE to LETTY: (Smiling happily). "My brothers and I have a vaudeville act, I sing......"

LEGS to MOE: (As Legs has now pulled Moe's ear and is talking to Moe madly). "Hey, you deaf and dumb?"

MOE to LEGS: (In a miwchievous state says to Legs). "Who's afraid of the 'Big Bad Wolf'?"

In Moe's comment to Legs, Larry and Curly are laughing hysterically.

Legs is now beyond thoroughly mad at Moe is now pulling Moe by the hair and lifing him up from his seat and is shoving Moe into Larry's and Curly's laps.

MOE to LEGS: (In a horrified state about being pulled by the hair by Legs thinking this might damage his throat says). "Oh, oh, my throat, my throat!"

LETTY to LEGS: (In a worried state and concern in her voice says). "You'll hurt him this way!"

Legs has now thrown Moe into Curly and Larrys' laps and is brushing off his hands.

LEGS to LETTY: (In a mean state, and a mean look on his face and a mean voice tone). "Pardon me, girlie?"

MOE to LETTY: (As he is looking at her with a worried look on his face and worry in his voice asks). "Who, is that guy?"

LETTY to MOE: (Looking at Moe in madness and dismay and answering him in a mad voice). "That's your friend, Legs Caffey!"

(This blip ends when Moe has really met Legs and he now passes out in Larry and Curly's laps from a total state of fear).

SECTION TWELVE: ("DANCING LADY"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (November 24, 1933):

CAST MENTIONED:

CLARK GABLE: (Patch Gallagher):
JOAN CRAWFORD: (Janie Barlow):
FRANCHOT TONE: (Tod Newton):
TED HEALY: (Steve):
MOE HOWARD: (Stage Hand):
LARRY FINE: (Harry The Piano Man):
JERRY HOWARD: (Stage Hand):

MR. MALTIN: "BUT THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS ASSIGNMENT THE STOOGES WON AT MGM WAS A FEATURED PART WITH CLARK GABLE AND JOAN CRAWFORD. IN ONE OF THE STUDIO'S BIGGEST RELEASES OF 1933, "DANCING LADY." ONCE MORE THEY FOUND THEMSELVES POPULATING A BACK STAGE SHOW BUSINESS STORY. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, "DANCING LADY" IS ONE OF THE BEST SCREEN SHOW CASES THE TRIO EVER HAD. MGM WAS NOT A STUDIO WITH A GREAT FEEL FOR COMEDY. AND WHEN MOE, LARRY, AND CURLY BROKE UP WITH TED HEALY AND WENT TO COLUMBIA ON THEIR OWN, THEY REALLY FOUND THEIR NITCH IN HOLLYWOOD. BUT THAT'S NOT TO SAY, THEY DIDN'T DO SOME FUNNY THINGS IN THEIR YEAR LONG STAY WITH 'LEO THE LION!"

(This feature clip starts off with Steve entering into Patch's office with a look of dismay on his face and is being approached by Patch who is asing Steve this question in a total state of mischief).

PATCH to STEVE: (In a total mischievous mood). "Steve a, ah very important friend of pa-pas, has brough around a very important young lady, for a very important try-out. Have you got any?"

STEVE to PATCH: (With a look of mischief on his face and is responding miwchievously). "Yes, I think we just have one left!"

PATCH to TOD: (In a total state of mischief replies). "Steve will take care of it!"

TOD to PATCH: (As Tod is brushing off his hands and is smiling says to Patch). "The old 'brush off,' eh?"

PATCH to TOD: (As he is sitting down at his desk and looking at Tod blankly). "Yep, that's the way it goes! These very important friends who want to put their dames in the front row, so they can show their friends how well they can pick 'em!"

We are now in a back stage rehearsal room where Steve, Janie and Harry The Piano Man are negotiating her contract and how she want things to be during her rehearsal practices.

JANIE to STEVE: (With a look of madness on her face and is speaking to Steve madly says). "Is that all I get, a piano? The last audition that I gave I had a forty piece orchestra."

STEVE to JANIE: (Looking at her mischievously and speaking at her furiously). "All right, little lady, will dig up four white me for ya!"

Janie is now leaving to go upstairs to get ready for her audition.

STEVE to JANIE: (As he is looking at her in a state of mischief). "Wait a minute, do you want help?, if you do want help, go on little lady, do you want Louie to help ya?"

JANIE to STEVE: (As she is walking up the stairs looks at Steve madly and responds to him madly). "No thanks, you, yourself have been enough help!"

STEVE to CURLY and MOE: (Moe and Curly are sitting at a table and are eating their supper). "Hey, you mugs come here!"

Moe and Curly are now getting up from their supper table and are approaching Steve. Moe has now set down his celery stalk and Curly reaches for it. Before Curly is able to get it, Moe picks it up and smacks Curly in the forehead with it.

Moe and Curly are now approaching Steve.

MOE to STEVE: (In a state of blankness says). "Okay, boss, what's the matter?"

STEVE to MOE, CURLY, and HARRY: (As Curly and Moe are running up to Steve. Steve says to them in a devious state). "We're gonna have an audition."

CURLY to STEVE: (In a state of glee as Steve smacks Curly on the forehead). "A 'rawdition'?"

STEVE to CURLY: (As he has now finished smacking him on the forehead and is shouting at him madly). "No, an audition, you heard me, see that girl that went upstairs?"

MOE to STEVE: (With a look of mischief on his face and mischief in his voice says). "Yeah!"

STEVE, to CURLY, MOE, and HARRY: (In a total state of mischief). "We're gonna give her the 'brush off'!"

MOE to STEVE: (In a gleeful and mischief mood says). "Oh, the 'bush off,' the same intruments?"

STEVE to MOE: (Giving him a look of madness and talking to him madly says). "No intruments, we're gonna sing!"

SONG BLIP BY STEVE, HARRY, CURLY, AND MOE: "Oh, you'll never know, just what she..... (Curly now throws in here a very loud and off key, 'Aah-aah-aah'), and (Steve goes and hits Curly on the forehead).

STEVE to CURLY: (After Curly has sung his off key note and gets smacked in the forehead). "Don't you start with me, I'll break you......"

MOE to CURLY: (As he has interrupted Steve and points a finger at Curly and smacks his face shouts at him). "That was a B Flat."

CURLY to MOE: (Thoroughly mad). "Yeah!"

MOE to CURLY: (Thoroughly mad and smacks Curly on the cheek says). "Sing it!"

CURLY to MOE: (Looking at Moe madly and is stomping his feet madly says to Moe). "Yeah, what do you know about music?"

MOE to CURLY: (As he is giving Curly a mad look and bonks his nose and says to him madly). "You're talking to one of the best musicians in the country?"

HARRY to MOE: (With his hands on his waist and says mischievously). "How are you in the city?"

Moe is mad at Harry and reaches over and gives him a swift smack on his face.

Steve starts singing: "Oh, (Stooges), you'll......"

STEVE to MOE, CURLY, and HARRY: (In a state of dismay and in an apologetic voice says). "Boys, listen, I'm wrong, we're not gonna sing it, we're gonna play it. Get the instruments!"

STEVE to MOE: (As Moe is standing there giving Steve a look of dismay is getting slapped in his face by Steve says). "You heard me, didn't ya?"

Moe and Curly are now rushing off in a total state of furry to fetch their instruments.

HARRY to STEVE: (Giving hi a blank stare). "Well, we could sing it!"

STEVE to HARRY: (Pointing at himself and says to Harry madly). "You know I am the boss!"

HARRY to STEVE: (Madly as they are walking away in different directions). "Yeah, I know that!"

STEVE to CURLY, MOE, and HARRY: (As Moe, Curly, and Harry are rushing around getting their isnruments and chairs and sitting down to play). "Get organized now, come on now get the chairs, get organized now come on!"

STEVE to CURLY, MOE, and HARRY: (In a total happy stated asks them). "Are you ready, right?"

MOE, CURLY, and HARRY, to STEVE: (Are responding to Steve mischievously): "Right-right-right-right-right-right!"

STEVE to CURLY, MOE, and HARRY: (In a total state of dismay says in response to them answering him). "Stop, stop, everything's all right isn't it?"

HARRY, CURLY, and MOE, to STEVE: (In a very quiet manner respond in unison). "Yeah!"

STEVE to HARRY, MOE, and CURLY: (In a happy state says). "I am gonna count off 1 - 2."

HARRY to STEVE: (In a happy manner as he is sitting at his piano). "Button your shoe!"

MOE to CURLY: (Moe is now looking miwchievously to Curly). "3 - 4."

CURLY to MOE: (As he is pointing his finger behind him at a door). "Close the door!"

STEVE: (Mischievously). "5 -6!"

LARRY to STEVE: (Still at his piano and is responding mischievously). "Brush her off!"

Steve is now thoroughly mad at Harry for his response to '5 - 6', and now has madly slammed the piano keyboard cover on his hands.

HARRY to MOE, CURLY, and STEVE: (In a devilish state says). "Hey, here she comes now!"

STEVE to CURLY, MOE, and HARRY: (In a quiet mischief state says). "All right, break it off now, let's get organized!"

MOE, HARRY, and CURLY: (IN a mischief manner are shouting at Steve in response to his statement). "Right-right-right-right-right-right!"

Janie is now running in to take her audition.

STEVE to JANIE: (Smiling at her and asks her mischievously). "What can we do for you?"

JANIE to STEVE: (Smiling and responding back happily). "What do you got?"

HARRY to JANIE: (Waving his hand at her and responds in a mischief manner). "We got plenty!"

JANIE to HARRY: (In a happy voice and a smile on her face says). "All right, let me have it!"

JANIE to MOE and CURLY: (As she is responding in a state of glee). "I'll need a little more room though!"

STEVE to JANIE: (In a state of mischief says). "You'll get it!"

STEVE to MOE, CURLY, and HARRY: (With a mad look on his face and is shouting madly at them). "All right fellas, break it up!"

MOE to CURLY: (As Moe is looking at Curly madly as he hits Curly in the head with a cymbol says). "Spread out!"

Curly and Moe are now standing up and leaving.

Harry is now sitting at his piano with a grimace look on his face.

Harry is now playing "Swanee River", Janie is dancing happily, a fast paced tap dance routine.

STEVE to HARRY: (Giving him a mischievous look). "That's it!"

Janie as she is doing her tap dance routine says. "Possibly!"

Steve has now shouted out mischievously, "Faster!"

STEVE to JANIE: (In a mean manner is shouting at her). "Faster lady, much faster, faster!"

JANIE to STEVE: (As she is still dancing but giving him a hurtful look says). "Slower!"

STEVE to HARRY: (In a state of madness shouts to him). "Slower, give it to her, slower!"

As Janie is dancing and Harry is playing the piano Moe has now turned to Curly and smashed Curly on the coconut hard betwixt his two cymbols.

STEVE to MOE, and CURLY: (And is sitting on top of piano shouting at them). "Help the lady out, help the lady out, will ya?"

Janie is now in a scared state as she has stopped daning and is looking at Steve scared.

Moe and Curly are now standing behind the scared Janie as Moe reaches over and smacks Curly hard on the head and Curly loosed his balance.

Steve is sitting on top of the piano while Harry is sitting at the keys.

STEVE to JANIE: (Shouting madly). "That's it Lady, that's it girlie!"

STEVE to MOE and CURLY: (Just after Moe has hit Curly on the head three times says). "Sit down fellas, sit down!"

STEVE to CURLY: (Just after Curly has sat down and he is smiling gleefully). "Say Curly, Curly, help the lady out will you?"

Curly has now given Steve a happy mischievous smile. Curly is now happily playing his spoons, while Moe is joyfully banging his cymbols and Harry is happily 'tickling the ivories!' and Janie is dancing in a state of wonderment and Steve has now gotten down from the piano and is starting to sing.

STEVE'S GIBBERISH SONG: "My ya, va dee-dee, vi, yum, va, da-da-da-de, yum, my yam, dee-dee, vi yum!"

STEVE to HARRY: (Whispering mischievously). "Don't play!"

Poor Janie has now figured out their game of giving her the 'brush off', and has stopped dancing and is turning and walking away in a state of hurt and madness.

JANIE, to STEVE, CURLY, MOE, and HARRY: (Waving her hand madly and is walking away and shouting at them madly says). "Okay boys, I get it, it's a 'brush off,' unhn, ha, okay!"

Instead of leaving she is now back to dancing with all her might. Steve and the gag are watching her and are realizing how good she really is and Steve is starting to change his thoughts about the 'brush off' idea.

STEVE to HARRY: (Gesturing with his hand and has a look of dismay on his face says). "All right, hold it a minute, will ya?"

JANIE to STEVE: (After she has now finished dancing and is approaching Steve in a total state of madness with her hands on her waist says to him). "Okay, Bruiser, the first round's yours, but I'm not licked yet."

STEVE to JANIE: (Giving her an apologetic look and has an apologetic tone of voice says to her). "Wait a minute, wait a minute, will you?"

Janie is now standing in front of Curly and Moe as Steve has now left.

JANIE to HARRY; (As Harry is sitting there working on jig-saw puzzle and she has picked up a puzzle piece says). "Say listen Paderewsky, did them funny noises come out of you, or the piano?"

(This feature clip ends with Steve having a change of mind about giving her the 'brush off' and Moe and Curly and a bunch of other stage hands are rushing around clearing away tables and chairs to set up a stage for her to do a real audition with a bunch of other girls.

STEVE to THE REST OF THE DANCING GIRLS: (Clapping his hands and saying). "All right girls come on, come on now!"

As they are clearing away the tables and chairs to set up the dancing stage, Moe and Curly were going at it with each other. Moe was giving Curly an eyepoke, a hit in the stomach, a bonk on his coconut and a smack on his face. Curly has gotten a chair and is now hitting Moe over the head with it. After Curly has hit Moe with the chair, Moe is taking off his shoe to throw it at Curly, but Curly has now reached a hiding place and voids being hit with Moe's shoe).

"THIS ENTIRE SECTION ENDS SHOWING THE "MGM STUDIO LION LOGO". MOE, LARRY, AND CURLY WITH A PRETTY LADY WEARING SWEATERS WITH THE LETTER "C" ON THEM. STANDING FOR "COLUMBIA STUDIOS." CURLY HAS A GAS MAKS ON WHILE MOE AND LARRY ARE WEARING BEANIES WITH PROPELLORS ON THEM. THEY ARE RIDING A BICYCLE BUILT FOR FOUR OUT OF THE "MGM STUDIO" GATES. THEY ARE NOW ON THEIR WAY TO "COLUMBIA PICTURES." ALL OF THEM ARE HONKING RUBBER TOY BICYCLE HORNS AS THEY ARE EXITING THE "MGM STUDIO" GATES FOR GOOD!"

BONUS SECTIONS:

MR. MALTIN: "HERE ARE SOME OTHER MEMORABLE MOMENTS:"

SECTION THIRTEEN: ("HOLLYWOOD PARTY"): (Ted, Larry, Moe, and Curly): (June 01, 1934):

CAST MENTIONED:

TED HEALY: (Himself):
MOE HOWARD: (Himself):
JERRY HOWARD: (Himself):
LARRY FINE: (Himself):

(This feature blip starts of with Moe, Larry, and Curly standing in front of a hotel holding their autograph books and are in a total state of glee by the number of autographs that they have collected).

MOE, to CURLY, and LARRY: (In a happy mood as he is now being joined by Curly and Larry after they have completed their autograph huntings). "Hiya fellas, how did your time go? How are you doing? Have you got any autographs yet?"

LARRY to MOE: (In a total state of happiness as he is showing Moe his autograph book). "Oh, great, great, yeah, I got a book full!"

MOE to CURLY: (Asking him in a total state of happiness). "And you?"

CURLY to MOE: (In a really gleeful state says). "If I get another, I will have two!"

MOE, to CURLY, and LARRY: (Still in a very gleeful manner states). "Well, don't worry about it, we'll have plenty before the night's over!"

CURLY to MOE: (Happily). "Oh, this is gonna be a big night!"

LARRY, to MOE, and CURLY: (With a look of grungement on his face and slight madness in his voice states). "Oh, sure!"

MOE to CURLY: (Gleefully). "We'll, I've got a big book."

Ted is now coming on the scene, and is trying to be held back by guards and he is saying). "Look out, look out, pardon me, pardon me!"

TED, to MOE, CURLY, and LARRY: (With a look of dismay on his face and is supporting a questionable tone of voice asks). "Any celebrities show up?"

MOE, CURLY, and LARRY to TED: (Totally happy says in unison). "Sure! "What are you, autograph hounds?" (Ted asks).

LARRY, CURLY, and MOE to TED: (Happily and in unison). "Yeah, I got some!"

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (In a state of wonder and has a look of mischief on his face). "Let me see!"

LARRY to TED: (Larry is now happily flipping the pages of his autograph book showing it to Ted). "I got a whole book full, look at this, will you look at that, look at that, look at that!"

Ted along with Moe and Curly are moving their heads to and fro as Larry is flipping the pages of his autograph book.

TED to LARRY: (In a happy state says). "Oh, those stars write fast don't they?"

MOE to TED: (With a look of glee on his face and has glee in his voice asks). "Are you collecting autographs?"

TED to MOE: (In a miwchievous state says). "No, I am collecting photographs."

Larry, Curly, and Moe are now posing to have Ted take their photograph.

TED, to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (With a look of dismay on his face and meaness in his voice says). "No, not of you crumbs, 'ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha'!"

(This clip ends with Larry pointing his finger in the direction of a celebrity.

LARRY, to MOE, and CURLY: (As the three of them are scrambling furiously to get their autographs). "Hey, there's somebody now, come on!")

SECTION FOURTEEN: ("MEET THE BARON"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (October 20, 1933):

CAST MENTIONED:

FRANK AUSTIN: (Scientist One);
RICHARD CRAMER: (Scientist Two);
CLARENCE H. WILSON: (Scientist Three):
TED HEALY: (Himself):
MOE HOWARD: (Himself):
LARRY FINE: (Himself):
JERRY HOWARD: (Himself):

(This clip starts off with the camera now on the automobile of three scientists).

SCIENTIST: (As they are having an argument over whether or not cavemen did exist at one time). "No, no, no, Professor, your dissertation reputes every scientific theory."

SCIENTIST: (As the professor is now getting out of the automobile). "But, doctor, please reflect on the profounded aspects of the matter. And consider the vital points of my thesis."

SCIENTIST: (As they are walking along and have serious looks on their faces). "But gentlemen, your theories are distinctly contradictory."

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now standing at the doorway of the hotel.

CURLY to the THREE SCIENTISTS: (In a questioning state). "Are you guys actors, or hillbillies?"

MOE (to SCIENTIST with beard, in a total state of mischief says). "Come out from under the spinach, Gable, we know you."

Moe has now yanked on the SCIENTIST's beard and has hurt him. thinking that it was Clark Gable wearing a fake beard.

Lady SCIENTIST to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (With a devilish look on her face and in a devilish tone of voice says). "Out of the way morons, we are from the scientific world, not the thespians!"

The scientists are now turning away from the Stooges in a snooty manner.

The scientists have now entered the hotel. Curly takes off his hat and bows at them. Two of the scientists take another look at Curly and stop.

One of the scientists grabs the other by the arm and still looking in the direction of Curly says "Look, look, this proves my point, a perfect specimen of the Neanderthal Man".

OTHER SCIENTIST: (As he is pointing a finger at Curly and is slightly laughing). "What, that?"

SCIENTIST (As he is nodding his head in disagreement and happiness in voice says, as the other scientist is twisting Curly's head to and fro looking at the measurements of Curly's head to decide what kind of a "caveman" Curly might represent). "Oh, no, look at the measurements, look at that, look at that, that's the Androgynes Type, I can prove it, the Androgynes cranium is always hollow. Now, listen. (The scientist is now taking his cane and smacking Curly on the forehead. The Professor has now hit Curly on the head with his cane and it sounded like a bass drum).

SCIENTIST: (Still analyzing Curly's head for his caveman type). "No, no, no Professor, you're wrong, that is the skull of the Anthropoid."

OTHER SCIENTIST: (In disagreement is approaching Moe and touching Moe's chin with his cane.) "No, no, that's more like the Anthropoid. Now listen." He is now hitting Moe on the head with his fist sounding like two pool balls knocked together.

SCIENTIST: (In a total state of glee says after he has hit Moe on the head, is now looking at Larry and is choosing his cavemen types). "Ah, the obvious Neanderthal type, (The scientist is now in the process of hitting Larry on the head with his cane, sounding like a hollow log).

SCIENTIST: (As he is now picking meanly on both Moe and Larry for cavemen identifications). "Now, just note the difference". (He has just hit Larry on the head once again with his cane).

SCIENTIST: (Happy with his decisions on Larry, Moe, and Curly's cavemen type now states):
1). LARRY: "Neanderthal."
2). MOE: "Anthropoid."
3). CURLY: "Androgynes."

SCIENTIST: "And there you are."

Scientists are now happily walking into the hotel.

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As he is running up happily to them says). "Hey fellas, hey fellas, see any prominent people here?"

LARRY to TED: (In a state of mischief as he takes Ted's cane from him and smacks Ted on his head says). "Yeah, "Neanderthal," (Larry has hit Ted on his head with a sound like a ringing of a glass bell).

TED to LARRY: (In a totally confused manner has now said to Larry). "Who?"

MOE to TED: (As he is now hitting Ted on the head with his cane and it made a sound like someone hit a note on a xylophone says). "Anthrophobia."

TED to MOE: (Still in a totally confused manner has now said to Moe). "What?"

CURLY to TED: (As Curly is now hitting Ted on his head with his cane and it makes a sound like someone has hit a musical triangle says). "Androgynes."

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As he gives them a triple face slap sounding like three notes on a xylophone). "What, are you kiddin'? Hold it!"

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (Ted has now completed taking a photograph of Larry, Curly, and Moe says). "Okay!"

Clip from "MEET THE BARON":

Jimmy Durante as "Joe McGoo"

Jack Pearl as "Baron Munchausen"

We are now inside the hotel room of Baron Munchausen.

TED, to LARRY, MOE, and CURLY: (As Moe, Larry, and Curly are staggering into the Baron's room toting his luggage. Ted says to Larry, Curly, and Moe). "Bring 'em in boys, bring 'em in."

Larry, Moe, and Curly now totally exhausted and are saying in unison. "I've been carrying baggages all day long!"

Joe has now walked in behind Moe and has hit Moe hard on his head in complaining about carrying in their baggages.

MOE to LARRY: (In a total state of anger thinking it was him who had smacked him on the back of the head reaches over and smacks Larry hard on his face says). "What's the matter?"

LARRY to MOE: (In a state of anger says back). "I didn't do anything!"

Moe has now smacked Curly hard on his face thinking it was Curly who has hit him on his neck.

The Baron's door is now opening quickly as a mob of female fans are running in to meet him and wanting his autograph.

GIRL FANS to BARON MUNCHAUSEN: (Holding their autograph books and are shouting in excitement). "Baron, Baron, will you......?"

TED to the mob of GIRLS: (The mob of girls are being stopped by Ted and says in excitement). "Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, outside, you'll see more of the Baron at his lecture."

The mob of girls are now leaving reluctantly and are saying in sad tone of voice. "Ooh-ooh-ooh!"

TED to the BARON and JOE: (Pointing at them with his cane and is asking with question in his voice). "Gentlemen, where do you want me to put the bags?"

BARON to TED: (As he is looking around his room for the place where he wants his bags). "Yeh, put 'em, put 'em under the bed!"

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As Moe, Larry, and Curly are picking up the bags). "Boys, put the bags under the bed!"

As Ted, Moe, Larry, and Curly are proceeding with putting the bags under the bed are now being approached by Joe. The professor has now extended out his arms as a sign to stop.

JOE to TED, MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (In a state of worry says). "Wait a minute, Baron, I smell treachery, or is that you?"

JOE to BARON MUNCHAUSEN: (As he is waving his hands and is talking in a worried voice says). "You want the bags where you can see them, Baron!"

Baron to Joe in a state of agreement says yes.

BARON MUNCHAUSEN to TED, LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (In a total perplexed state). "Sure, I want the bags, I want 'em under my eyes!"

Moe is gawking at the Barom in a total state of mischief. He is really starring down the Baron's eyes.

MOE to the BARON: (After Moe has thoroughly analyzed the Baron's eyes). "But, you already got bags under your eyes!"

The Baron is now yelling out in a state of hurt.

TED to MOE: (As he is thoroughly mad at Moe for what Moe said to the Baron is now throwing Moe and Moe is landing face down on Baron's luggage). "What's the matter with you, talk that way to the Baron."

Moe is now landing on top of the Baron's luggage and is yelling out in pain as Larry and the other gentleman are looking at Moe hurtfully.

The Baron is now dancing around in a state of fury as Moe is landing on his luggage.

BARON: (Yelling and screaming in total anger). "Come now, please, my pants!"

JOE to the BARON: (As he is pulling the Baron away from his luggage states). "Ignore, Baron."

BARON MUNCHAUSEN to MOE: (Slapping his thighs and dancing around angrily about Moe landing on his luggage states). "I'm insulted!"

JOE to TED: (As he is pounding his cane on the floor and is yelling madly at Ted says). "The Baron demands an apology!"

TED to MOE: (In a mad state as he is yelling at Moe says). "Hey, hatchethead, did you hear that? The Baron demands an apology!"

The Baron is now approaching Moe who is looking at the floor in embarrassment.

MOE to the BARON: (In a really meaningful tone of voice says). "Well, if I said anything to hurt the Baron's feelings, I thank you!"

Larry and Curly have now stood up and saluted Moe by taking off their top hats while Ted, Moe and the professor are giving Moe looks of wonderment.

BARON MUNCHAUSEN to MOE: (As the Baron is extending out his hand in friendship to Moe says). "It's apologized."

TED to BARON MUNCHAUSEN: (As he is patting the Baron on the shoulder and is talking to him in a caring tone of voice). "Baron, tell me, did you bring your animals with you?"

BARON MUNCHAUSEN to TED: (In a quiet voice). "No. We'll stay, look around see if I like the country then I zend for my animals, umps and zo my birds!"

Curly is now standing up and pointing a finger at the Baron with a look of dismay on his face.

CURLY to BARON MUNCHAUSEN: (In a total state of mischief and is smiling says). "Oh, a bird lover eh, and you know all about them?"

BARON to CURLY: (In a totally serious manner says). "Do I know about birds, you give me a bird, any bird, and I tell you where they come from."

Moe is now supporting a devilish look on his face as he is resting his arm on Larry's shoulder.

MOE to the BARON: (In a pure devil may care state says). "Oh, we give you a bird and you can tell us where it comes from?"

BARON MUNCHAUSEN to MOE: (In an excited state says). "Yeah, but give me a good one!"

Moe, Larry, and Curly in devilsh manner are laughing as Larry is cupping his hands around his mouth and has just given the Baron "THE BIRD", (Raspberry).

The Baron has now walked away and thrown down his cane angrily.

Ted has now hit Curly's top hat off of his head in a furious state. Curly quickly replaces it with a derby.

TED to CURLY: (Angrily) "For two pins, I'd knock your head off!"

Larry is now running up to Ted mischievously.

LARRY to TED: (In a total state of mischief as he runs over and hands Curly two safety pins and says). "That's very cheap. Here!"

Curly is now mad at Larry and swiftly hits Larry on his face which sends Larry flying backwards and Moe catches him and hits him. Ted is now smashing the daylights out of Curly, Moe has now given Larry an eyepoke. Curly has now smacked Ted in the face. Moe is now pulling at Larry's hair and is smacking him on the face and is giving him four eyepokes. Ted and Curly are now once again going at it. Ted has give Curly an eyepokes while Curly has smacked Ted once again on the face. Moe has now picked up a potted plant intending to hit Larry with it but misses Larry, and hits the Baron with it. Moe once again has given Larry a pull on his hair, another smack on is face and another eyepoke. Larry gave Moe tow more eyepokes. While Curly has picked up another potted plant and throws it at Moe, but once again the Baron gets it. The Baron and Joe are now hiding under the bed while Ted is relaxing in a chair and is enjoying the rest of the entertainment. Moe has now given Curly two smacks on the face and two more eyepokes.

JOE to the BARON: (As they are peeking out from underneath the bed). "Humiliating, that's what it is, under a bed and not lady is sight."

SECTION FIFTEEN: ("PLANE NUTS"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (October 14, 1933):

CAST MENTIONED:

TED HEALY: (Himself):
MOE HOWARD: (Himself):
LARRY FINE: (Himself):
JERRY HOWARD: (Himself):

(This clip starts off with Ted standing on the stage singing).

TED SINGING: "Noon time means luncheon, for someone. Night time means sleep for the same."

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now raising a ruckus in the background and Ted now says in general conversation. "I knew they'd be out, I knew, I knew!".

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now approaching the stage. They are yelling at each other in confusion). "Come on boys, cut it out, cut it out, come on boys, get going."

As they are approaching the stage, Curly is shoving Moe, while Larry is hitting Curly on the head and Moe has turned around and given Curly an eyepoke. Moe has just hit Curly in the face.

LARRY to MOE: (With a look of hurt on his face and in a hurtful voice says in reference to Moe picking on Curly). "Leave him alone!"

Ted is now approaching Moe, Larry, and Curly in a state of anger.

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As he is gesturing with his hands in anger) "Wait a second fellas, what happens here, what happens, I'm singing, what happens?"

MOE to TED: (As he is smiling and says in a gleeful tone of voice). "Right here is where we do our vaudeville act."

TED to MOE: (Giving Moe a look of madness and says to him in a mad voice). Oh, you're vaudevillians, eh?"

MOE to TED: (Gesturing with his hands and says to Ted in a happy voice). "Yeah, comedy, singing, and talking."

TED to MOE: (In a thorough state of disgust says). "Okay, go ahead!"

MOE to CURLY, and LARRY: (In a happy voice). "We'll give 'em the same routine that we give 'em in the other joints."

Larry and Curly now have waved their hands at Moe in agreement.

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (In total madness). "Now wait a minute, wait a second fellas, this is no joint, this is on of the best places we have in America."

MOE to TED: (As he is looking around the place says to Ted in mischief). "This will do!"

Larry and Curly are saying in unison. "This will do, wait a minute now, this will do!"

CURLY to TED: (As he is pointing a finger at Ted). "You don't care if we wear 'truxedos', do you?"

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (As he points a finger at them and asks them in a state of mischief). "You got on heavy underwear?"

CURLY, LARRY, and MOE to TED: (In unison and mischievously). "Yeah!"

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (As he is smiling and asking in a caring voice). "Now don't get pneumonia, new climate and everything, watch yourselves."

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now huddled together.

MOE to CURLY and LARRY: (Looking at them angrily) says: "Spread out!"

Curly and Larry are mumbling angrily in low voices, "Spread out."

TED to CURLY: (With a look of dismay on his face and asks Curly in a low voice). "What happens here, come on now!"

CURLY to TED: (In a serious voice says). "Right here we're compelled to cut the act and go into another snappy gag!"

TED to CURLY: (In a total state of wonderment says). "Okay kid, go ahead."

CURLY to TED: (Pointing a finger at Ted in happiness). "I walk down the street and meet the straight man."

TED to CURLY: (Mischievously, in reference to Moe). "That's hatchethead."

CURLY to MOE: (Curly is now approaching Moe and is shaking Moe's hand and says to Moe happily). "Hello Moe!"

MOE to CURLY: (As he is shaking Curly's hand and says back happily). "Hello Curly!"

TED to MOE: (With his hands on his waist and in total mischief asks Moe). "Wait a second, wait a minute, what's his name?"

MOE to TED: "That's Curly!"

TED to MOE: (Laughing and has a mischievous sounding voice says). "That's Curly, ha-ha-ha, I thought you said 'girlie,' I wasn't sure!"

LARRY to TED: (Larry is standing in the background and says to Ted angrily). "Shut up, I was listening to that."

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is now approaching Moe once again as he extends his hand in friendship). "Hello Moe."

MOE to CURLY: (In a stern tone of voice says to Curly as he extends his hand in friendship). "Hello Curly."

CURLY to MOE: (As he is still shaking hands with Moe and has question in his voice asks Moe). "What would you do if a girl kissed you"

MOE to CURLY: (Still shaking hands in friendship says with a stern look on his face and dismay in his voice). "I'd kiss her back."

CURLY to MOE: (Still shaking his hand and giving him a look of mischief and gesturing with his hands asks). "Oh, suppose she was a tall girl?"

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now mumbling in unison. "That's the difference, I didn't know that!"

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now starting to huddle toghether.

TED to CURLY: (As he shoves Curly backwards meanly and shouts to him). "Spread out, come on, come on, come on."

Now Larry is getting ready to leave the stage while Curly is looking at Moe and Ted with a blank stare.

MOE to TED: (As he is gesturing to Ted and asks him in a questioning manner). "Hey, do you care for the drama?"

TED to MOE: (Ted is answering Moe in a total state of mischief with a mad look on his face and his hands on his waist). "The drama, you mean that high class stuff?"

MOE to TED: (With a look of mischief on his face and mischief in his eyes as he is gesturing with his hands says). "Yeah, that Noel Coward stuff."

TED to MOE: (With a total mischief state is smiling and straightening his suit jacket). "Certainly."

MOE to CURLY, and LARRY: (As he is turning around and looking at them mischievously says). "We'll slug him with the drama!"

Moe is now taking out of his pocket three little script booklets and is passing them around.

MOE to TED: (As he is handing Ted his script booklet says). "Now, we have a part here for you, if you'll help us out."

TED to MOE: (In a mischievous state as he is taking his script booklet from Moe and says). "I'm, I'm an old time actor, I'll help you out."

TED to MOE: (Ted is now opening his script booklet and is looking at it says). "These are my lines!"

MOE to TED: (Mischievously as Moe is gesturing with his hands as he is explaining to Ted about his lines). "Now, when the music plays, the gates of Hell are opened, that's where you walk in."

TED to MOE: (In a really worried manner says to him). "Ah, stop, stop now with the jokes."

Moe is now giving Curly and Larry their script booklets.

Ted says in general conversation. "Go ahead."

MOE to CURLY: (As he is pleading with him about a part says). "Hey, take this part."

CURLY to MOE: (As he is looking at Moe in a state of wonder says). "Not me!"

MOE to CURLY: (As he is still begging Curly to take a certain part asks him). "Come on, take it."

CURLY to MOE: (As he is giving Moe a mad look and has madness in his eyes shouts back sternly to Moe). "Not, me!"

MOE to CURLY: (As he slaps Curly square in the face and says to him angrily). "Oh, mutiny!"

Curly is now looking at Moe blankly.

All the while that Moe and Curly were having their fight over a role, Larry was standing there with his hands on his hips and a blank stare.

TED to MOE, CURLY, and LARRY: (Angrily). "Here now, here now, stop that!"

MOE to LARRY: (As he is approaching Larry and shoving the script booklet at him says). "Here, take this part!"

LARRY to MOE: (Giving Moe a mad look and is shouting at Moe angrily says). "I'll take it when I'm ready!"

MOE to LARRY: (As he is starring him down shouts at him angrily). "Are you ready?"

LARRY to MOE: (As he is reluctantly taking the script booklet from Moe and says in a low dragged out voice). "Yeah, I'm ready!"

Curly is now smiling gleefully at everyone.

MOE to TED: (As he is gesturing with his hands and has anger in his voice as he is explaining to Ted). "I'll give you a resumé in the next scene."

TED to MOE: (In a questioning voice says). "You'll give me a what?"

MOE to TED: (Explains once again to Ted) . "I'll give you a resumé in the next scene,"

TED to MOE: (Holding open his script booklet and is quizzically looking at Moe says). "Get this guy with the big words, resumé, you're getting Park Avenue, you're getting with the high class, with the rich people, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

LARRY to MOE: (Shouting to Moe in a mad state). "Is he getting high class?"

TED to LARRY: (As he is reading his script booklet and answers Larry). "Yes!"

LARRY to CURLY: (As he has his hands by his sides and is shouting mischievously and nodding his head). "Hey, Curly, throw a louse on him."

Curly gestures taking something from his suit jacket pocket and throwing it at Moe. And then is walking over and picking it out of Moe's hair and smacking Moe on the forehead.

MOE to CURLY: (In a total state of anger). "Hey come on now, cut it out, cut it out!"

TED to LARRY, MOE, and CURLY: (In a state of dismay). "Hey, hey, hey, wait a second, wait a second, wait a minute now, don't do that, stop that, stop that!"

Ted has just now approached Curly and has smacked him on his forehead angrily.

MOE to CURLY, LARRY, and TED: (In a thorough state of anger). "Spread out!"

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (In a total state of anger). "Spread out, now let's get set, let's get going here now!"

Larry and Curly are now back to their positions on the stage.

MOE to TED: (Using hand gestures to explain this part of the routine while he has a look of dismay on his face). "Now, in this next scene, I play the part of a Count. I drive up to my castle on horseback. Up into my castle and in my bedroom and there's two ladies in my bed."

All the while Moe was telling his story, Ted says "Yeah, yeah, yeah," in agreement to Moe's story while Larry and Curly are smiling with gleeful looks on their faces.

MOE to TED: (In a total state of mischief asks). "What do you think happens?"

TED to MOE: (In a total state of dismay responds). "I don't know, what happens?"

MOE to TED: (In a total state of mischief says). "I said, one of you broads have to get out of here."

TED to MOE: (In a state of anger he has just slapped Curly on the face says). "All right, you handle it, you handle it, you handle it!"

Larry and Curly are mumbling in unison and anger. "Yeah, yeah, you handle it, okay."

MOE to CURLY, LARRY, and TED: (As Moe is looking angrily at Larry and giving Larry a mad look shouts). "Spread out!"

CURLY and LARRY to MOE: (As Curly and Larry are now leaving Moe's sides with mad looks on their faces and anger in their voices mumbling in unison in low monotone voices). "All right spread out!"

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE: (Mad). "All right fellas, all right!"

MOE: (Now getting into his portion of the routine). "Gladys, Gladys!"

CURLY: (Responding to Moe). "Gladys?"

LARRY to MOE: (Looking at his script booklet with a worried look on his face says to Moe). "I got the wrong script, you ain't, you ain't......"

TED: (In a state of dismay says). "I ain't got nothing, I ain't got nothing, I ain't got nothing at all here, Gladys."

MOE: (In a serious tone of voice and using a British accent). "What not here, she has deceived me, she promised to meet me at the old bridge at ten o'clock. It's now half past eight and she's not here yet."

All the while Moe was doing his lines, Larry was standing there with a dumbfounded look on his face and looking at Moe with his hands on his waist. Ted was looking at his script booklet. Curly was standing in the background just watching everybody.

CURLY to TED: (As he does a little dance and says to Ted joyfully). "I think she'll be coming around the mountain, when she comes!"

TED to CURLY: (As he is looking at his script booklet and slaps Curly on the face says meanly). "You don't yell at me, never holler at me kid, don't holler, go ahead." referencing to Moe.

MOE: "How the winds blow."

Larry has now approached Moe and has a mischievous look on his face and is spreading his arms and says. "Woo-woo!"

MOE to LARRY: (Moe has now slapped Larry and shouts to him). "What's the matter here, what's happened here, what's going on?"

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE: (Shouting angrily) "Wait a minute fellas, wait a second will ya, let's get organized, what happens now, what happens!"

All the while Ted was hollering at Moe, Curly, and Larry they were standing with hurtful and worried looks on their faces.

MOE to TED: (Giving Ted a look of wonderment and gesturing with his hands states). "Well, that's where you come in!"

Curly is standing in the background holding his hands and has a look of puzzlement on his face.

TED to MOE: (Holding his script booklet and is looking at Moe in dismay says). "What, this is my part?"

MOE to TED: (In a questioning manner says to Ted). "Yeah!"

TED to MOE: (Happily as he is flipping the page in his script booklet states). "Well, I got it here."

TED to CURLY: (As Ted is reading his lines and Curly is standing there giving Ted a look of wonderment). "Pay me the $50,000, and I'll foreclose the mortgage, you rat, yad-a-yad-a-yad do, hello governor." (Ted then gives Curly a slap on the face).

TED to CURLY: (In reference to slapping him on the face. Points to the script and says). "Here it is kid, read it, I ain't got nothing to do with it, I wouldn't hit you unless I was told to do so."

MOE to TED: (In a British accent angrily says). "I will not give you the money!"

TED to CURLY: (With a serious look on his face and is saying to Curly). "Pay me the $50,000 and I'll foreclose the mortgage you rat, yad-a, yad-a, yed-do, yed-do allcada, hello governor." (Ted once again reaches over and gives Curly a slap on his face and once again states). "Here it is kid, read it, I ain't got nothing to do with it, I wouldn't hit you unless I was told to do so!"

MOE to TED: (Seriously and in a British accent). "May I repeat, veribly, I will not give you the money!"

TED to CURLY: (Waving his finger at Curly and is shouting in a low monotone voice). "Pay me the $50,000, and I'll foreclose the mortgage, you rat, yad-da, de-da, yad-da, yee-yee, vitta-dee-dee, hello governor." (Ted for the third time gives Curly another slap on his face).

CURLY to MOE: (Angrily and waving his arms, jumping up and down and shouting at Moe). "Pay him the $50,000!"

Moe then reaches over and gives Curly a bonk on his forehead.

MOE to CURLY: (In a state of anger and is shouting at him). "What's the matter, what's the matter!?"

Ted then his the poorly bruised Curly on the forehead. Larry is standing there watching the whole thing with a look of wonderment on his face.

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY: (As Ted is shouting at them). "What's the matter here, stop the yelling, stop the yelling here!"

Curly now has his hands on his waist and tosses his head back and says quietly. 'Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh'!

Moe is now mad at the whole event and once again shouts out angrily. "Spread out!"

TED to CURLY, MOE, and LARRY: (Gesturing with his hands and says quietly). "Spread out boys"

TED to MOE: (As Moe is stepping back a bit not seeing Curly). "Watch out for him!"

Curly, Larry, and Moe are now getting into their spots and Larry and Curly are watching Moe with dumbfounded looks on their faces.

MOE: (Once again in a serious voice and a British accent). "With Gladys as my wife and those papers in my possession, I can laugh at the world!"

Ted gave a comment here of, 'yes that is what he said.'

Curly is now marching up to Ted gleefully and is saying. "n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk!"

TED to CURLY: (In a mischievous state says). "Hey, If you want to lay an egg go over there and lay it!"

CURLY to TED: (With a look of dismay on his face and shouts). "Wait a minute now, how can a big guy like me lay an egg?"

LARRY to CURLY: (Doing hand gestures like a hen sitting on her nest says). "There's a big basket over there, you can sit down......"

Ted is now mumbling in the background, 'Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey.'!

Moe is now giving Larry an angry look about his comment.

LARRY to MOE: (Giving Moe a perplexed look and says to Moe in a quiet voice). "Spread out!"

Larry is now following the script booklet as Moe once again continues with his story.

MOE: (In a serious voice and his British accent). "Ah, someone is coming!"

Curly and Ted are diligently watching Moe and are saying quietly. "Yeah!"

Larry is now swaggering towards the front of the stage with a mischievous look on his face.

LARRY: (In a totally mischievous manner says). "1-2-3-4-5-6-7," (Then Larry loudly stomps his foot on the stage).

MOE: (Once again in a serious mood and using his British accent). "How will I know her knock?"

Larry is now again swaggering to the front of the stage mischievously continuing, "8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16," (Then Larry once again mischievously stomps his foot loudly on the stage).

All the while Larry was doing his countings Curly, Moe, and Ted were watching Larry with looks of anger on their faces. Larry then quietly returns back to his position at the back of the stage.

MOE: (Again in a serious mood and with his British accent). "And how well she knows how to knock"

Larry is now once again swaggering to the front of the stage counting, "17-18-19," (Larry has now stomped his foot too hard and has lost his shoe and he is grabbing his sore foot and is dancing around in pain saying, "ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh."

Ted then comes in and says in reference to Larry's shoe. "Let it alone, let it alone, it'll come up by itself."

(A stage hand has now thrown Larry's shoe back onstage).

Moe and Curly are now dancing gleefully around the stage while Larry and Ted are standing on the stage swaying to and fro to the tempo of the music as they are singing.

TED: (Swaying to and fro softly to the music). "I've got a gal in Caroliner, is there anyone finer, if there is do you know her? Show her to me. (My sweet, sweet Dinah). Only her can be finer, in the state of Caroliner. I say, every night, my Dinah might be mine. My sweet, sweet Dinah from the state of Caroliner."

(Moe and Curly are now dancing around the stage wildly, doing a soft shoe dance and are singing). "I'm from the south, the dear sweet, sweet sunny south."

(Larry now comes in with a look of mischief and is doing a frantic paced soft shoe dance and is saying).

LARRY: (Spoken and going totally crazy): "I'm from the the sweet south and I can see the Swanee River and my dear mammie and my pappy and the raven. Come on, hey, hey. I'm from the south, the old, old south. And I can see me now and it we'll be like band heads. And my dear sweet mammie. Hey, hey. I'm from the south."

TED to LARRY: (In a state of anger says to Larry). "What's this hey, hey,? What's this hey, hey?"

LARRY to TED: (In a total state of happiness). "I'm getting hot!"

TED to LARRY: (As he is ripping Larry's shirt off says). "Here, cool yourself off. Leave the hey, hey's out, I'm the boss , I'm the boss, I'm the boss!"

LARRY: (Now getting more wild and going crazy spoken and is doing his soft shoe dance more frantic). "I'm from the south, my dear old sunny south. And I will come home again mammie. I'm gonna grab a choo-choo train. I'll take an airplane, a boat now, here we go, 'woo-woo, wow-wow, hey, hey, I'm from the south."

TED: (Still gently swaying to and fro with the tempo of the music). "I've got a gal in Caroliner. Is there anyone finer. If there is do you know her. Show her to me. (My sweet, sweet Dinah). Only her can be finer. In the state of Caroliner. I say every night, Dinah might be mine. My sweet, sweet Dinah from the state of Caroliner."

MOE AND CURLY: (Still dancing wildly a soft shoe dance around the stage and is singing). "I'm from the south, the dear sweet, sweet sunny south."

LARRY: (Is now in a total state of craziness as he is stomping around the stage his soft shoe dance and a look of mischief on his face and saying). "I'm from the south, my dear old sunny south. I get there when I can. I'll take a choo-choo train. An airplane. I'll take an airplane, and I'm leaving now, contact, hey, hey."

Ted is once again mad at Larry for saying 'hey-hey", and has now ripped off Larry's underwear shirt.

Larry is now being joined by Moe and Curly as they all are in a total state of craziness, do a wild and frantic paced soft-shoe dance and are speaking). "I'm from the south, 'hey-hey-hey.'"

(This clip ends with Curly, Larry, and Moe running frantically off of the stage with Larry carrying his clothes as they are being chased after by Ted. Then Ted returns and says "The name of that last song was "Dinah").


CLOSING THOUGHTS: PART A:

OPENING PICTURE: ("HELLO POP!"): (Ted, Moe, Larry, and Curly): (September 16, 1933):

("Ted is holding a script sheet and is pulling at Larry's hair frantically. While Larry's dressed in an oriental styled robe and has a terrified and hurtful look on his face. While Moe and Curly also dressed in oriental styled robes are pulling back in fear from Ted pulling Larry's hair. Moe and Curly also have horrified and hurtful looks on their faces.")

MR. MALTIN: "THE STOOGES APPEARED IN TWO OTHER MGM SHORTS WHICH CAN'T BE FOUND IN THE STUDIO VAULTS."

("HELLO POP!"): (1933): "Seems promising, an all comedy short with co-stars Henry Armetta and Edward Brophy. Even some of the still pictures are funny!"

PICTURE ("HELLO POP"!): "Curly is dressed as Little Lord Fontleroy. While Larry and Moe are dressed in satin short pant suits, with white ruffled shirts and are wearing lady styled hats with long ribbons tied in bows at the back of the hats and with long streamers hanging down the back of the hats. With Ted Healy and Henry Armetta."

MR. MALTIN: "MOE APPEARED WITHOUT TED HEALY OR HIS BROTHERS IN ANOTHER MGM TWO-REELER CALLED 'JAILBIRDS OF PARADISE" 1934:

PICTURE: ("JAILBIRDS OF PARADISE"). 1934 "Moe is dressed in a striped prison uniform."

MR. MALTIN: "BUT THE MOST INTRIGUING FILM OF ALL, IS ONE WE CAN'T SHOW YOU, BECAUSE IT NEVER APPEARED ON THE SCREEN. THESE STILLS ARE ALL THAT HAS SURVIVED OF A SHORT MOE HOWARD REMEMBERED ENTITLED: "AROUND THE WORLD BACKWARDS"

VAULT COPY OF A BORROWING AGREEMENT FOR: "AROUND THE WORLD BACKWARDS:"

DATE:
NO: 2807

Please return to the Features Dept.
Culver City Calif.

I hereby acknowledge receipt no. 2807.
TED HEALY SHORT: Which I agree to return within a reasonable time.

DATE: April 4, 1933:

FEW PICTURES FROM "AROUND THE WORLD BACKWARDS:" (Explained from the best I can do):

PICTURE ONE: ("A MAGICIAN ACT") "Ted is dressed in a long black coat, checkered pants, and a hat. He is standing beside a trick box where Larry is inside supposedly "sawed in half", his feet are in one section, while his head is in the other half and he has a dead look on his face. Curly is "beheaded," and all's you can see is his head sitting on a serving platter sitting on top of a table. Moe is wearing an oriental styled robe, white scuff styled slippers and is suspended in thin air and is resting on his side with an arm on a pole and he looks like he is taking a nap."

PICTURE TWO: ("ANOTHER MAGICIAN'S ACT"): "Ted is the magician and is dressed in a long black coat, checkered pants and a hat. He is standing beside a trick box where Larry is inside and is supposedly 'sawed in half,' his feet are in one section, while his head is in the other section and has a dead look on his face. The saw that was used to "saw Larry in half" is standing in between the box halves. Curly is "beheaded", and all's you can see is he heading sitting on a serving platter on top of a table, while Ted is holding a lid cover to Curly's serving platter. To the best of my ability, it looks like Curly is moving his eyes to and fro. Moe is dressed in an oriental styled robe, white scuff styled slippers, and is lying on his stomach and is floating in thin air."

PICTURE THREE: ("A MAGICIAN STYLE PICTURE"): "All's we see is Moe dressed in his oriental styled robe, his white scuff styled slippers, lying on his stomach and is floating in thin air. Ted is still dressed in his long black jacket, and checkered pants and hat. Curly is still "beheaded" with his head on a serving platter sitting on top of a table. Ted is in now covering up Curly."

PICTURE FOUR: Ted, Moe, and Larry are dressed in tuxedos while Bonnie is dressed in a ladies skirt styled suit. Ted has a devilish look and is still dressed in his long black jacket and checkered pants. "Curly is still "beheaded" and sitting on a serving platter. Ted is going to put the lid on Curly's head then we now see the 'whole Curly' appearing from his serving platter."

MR. MALTIN: "IN REALITY, THIS WAS THE FOOTAGE INTENDED FOR "PLANE NUTS". HEALY PLAYS A COMBINATION MEDICINE MAN AND MAGICIAN. WHEN ANNOUNCES HE IS GOING TO DEMONSTRATE HIS AUTO-GYRO. A HECKLER IN THE AUDIENCE CHALLENGES HIM TO GET INSIDE, WHEN HE DOES THE HECKLER IS SO IMPRESSED, HE CALLS THE FOURSOME TO HIS OFFICE. AND SAYS HE'LL BACK THEM ON AN AROUND THE WORLD FLIGHT. HEALY TOPS THAT BY DECLARING THAT THEY WILL MAKE THAT FLIGHT "BACKWARDS." BONNIE'S ON HAND, TO CHRISTEN THE DEPARTING AIRPLANE. NO EXISTING RECORDS EXPLAIN WHY THIS FOOTAGE WAS SCRAPPED. BUT IT'S A FASCINATING FOOTNOTE TO THE STOOGES' MGM CAREER."

FEW MORE PICTURES FROM: "AROUND THE WORLD BACKWARDS:" (Described The Best I Can):

PICTURE FIVE: "Moe, Larry, and Curly are dressed in tuxedos and are laying on the floor looking up at Ted who is dressed in a long black jacket, checkered pants and a hat. Ted is stomping Curly while Moe and Larry are looking up at Ted in dazement. They are inside a large tent."

PICTURE SIX: "Moe, Larry, and Curly are dressed in tuxedos, standing inside of a large tent with looks of disman on their faces. Ted is dressed in a long black coat, checkered pants and a hat. Ted is climbing up a thin, metal ladder to the top of the tent. While a man is looking at Ted in wonderment."

PICTURE SEVEN: "We are in the office of the heckler. The heckler is dressed in a regular business suit and is sitting behind a desk. Ted is dressed in his long black coat, checkered pants and his hat. Moe, Larry, and Curly are dressed in tuxedos. Bonnie is dressed in a skirt suit. All of them are holding up their hands at the heckler like they are asking the heckler what is going on."

PICTURE EIGHT: "Ted is now inside of the airplane, that is painted black and white checked. Ted is dressed in his long black coat, checkered pants and his hat. He is extending his arms and is waving goodby. Moe, Larry, and Curly are also in the airplane in tuxedos with aviator styled hats on and are waving goodbye. The following banners are on the wall.

1): "KEEP YOUR TAIL UP, NO ONE POINT LANDING."
2): "GOOD LUCK NO. 8."
3): "HANGAR NUMBER 4 1/2."
4): "AROUND THE WORLD FLIGHT."

PICTURE NINE: "Ted is now inside of the airplane, that is painted black and white checks. Ted is dressed in his long black coat, his checkered pants and his hat. He is extending his arms and is waving goodbye. Moe, Larry, and Curly are also in the airplane dressed in tuxedos and wearing aviator styled hats and are also waving goodbye. We are now looking at the entire airplane. Bonnie is standing at the tail of the airplane dressed a skirt suit and is holding a bottle of champagne. The following banners were on the wall."

1): "KEEP YOUR TAIL UP, NO ONE POINT LANDING."
2): "GOOD LUCK NO. 8."
3): "HANGAR NUMBER 4 1/2."
4): "AROUND THE WORLD FLIGHT."

PICTURE TEN: "Close up on Ted dressed in his long black jacket, checkered pants and his hat. Moe, Larry and Curly are dressed in tuxedos wearing aviator styled hats and are standing inside of the black and white checked painted airplane as the airplane is leaving. We see the following banners on the wall."

1): "KEEP YOUR TAIL UP, NO ONE POINT LANDING."
2): "GOOD LUCK NO. 8."
3): "HANGAR NUMBER 4 1/2."
4): "AROUND THE WORLD FLIGHT."

CLOSING THOUGHTS: "PART B:"

MR. MALTIN: "SO YOU SEE, THERE'S EVEN MORE COMEDY FROM MOE, LARRY, AND CURLY THAT'S STILL TO BE FOUND. AND WHO KNOWS, IT MAY TURN UP YET. ONLY THEN WILL WE HAVE THE COMPLETE STORY OF THE "LOST STOOGES."

SHOWED THESE TWO FINAL CLIPS:

CLIP NUMBER ONE: ("MEET THE BARON"): (Ted, Curly, and Larry): (October 20, 1933):

"Where Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe are engaged in a Bridge game and is being called by Dean Primrose, (Edna May Oliver), to come upstairs and fix the broken plumbing in the ladies shower room and they don't want to, so Ted is holding the telephone receiver while Moe, Larry, and Curly are beating loudly on pieces of steel plating with mallets and Ted is telling Dean Primrose, (Edna May Oliver), that they are busy, so they can return to their Bridge game."

CLIP NUMBER TWO: ("PLANE NUTS"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (October 14, 1933):

"Where Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe are doing their stage act and right at the part where Curly has now been poked in the eyes by Moe after Curly has messed up Moe's counting act."

FINAL CLIP (From opening titles to "Meet the Baron"):

"We now see a wooden door with face shots of Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe with the title underneath:

"TED HEALY AND HIS STOOGES"

CREDIT THINGIES:

THIS PART STARTS OFF WITH A GIRLS CHORUS SINGING THE FOLLOWING SONG ("Dance Until the Dawn" from "Plane Nuts"):
"Wake the sun, and put the moon to bed, we'll dance until the dawn. I wish to sing, and sure would be glad if we could dance until the dawn. Here is where I'll hold you tight until every little light around town is on. I'll bet you say, I love you baby, if we could dance until the dawn."

WHILE THEY WERE GIVING THE CREDITS THEY ALSO SHOWED THE FOLLOWING EIGHT DIFFERENT CLIPS:

CLIP NUMBER ONE: ("MEET THE BARON"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (October 20, 1933):
"Where Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe are now upstairs in front of the girls' shower room and Dean Primrose, (Edna May Oliver), has told them that they must blindfold their eyes before they can enter the shower room and Curly has given Dean Primrose a crossed-eye look first. Then Curly is being bonked on the head by Moe and then Ted has slapped Curly on the face."

CLIP NUMBER TWO: ("DANCING LADY"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (November 24, 1933)
"Where Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe are getting set to help Ted give Janie, (Joan Crawford), her 'brush off.'"

CLIP NUMBER THREE: ('ROAST BEEF AND MOVIES"): (Curly Solo): (February 10, 1934):
"Where Curly has had his sandwich and juice taken away from him and he is so hungry that he is approaching a fish bowl of live goldfish and his having himself a goldfish snack."

CLIP NUMBER FOUR: ("MEET THE BARON"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (October 20, 1933):
"Where Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe are now bringing in Baron Munchausen's, (Jack Pearl), luggage and Curly drops one on Moe's foot and Moe bonks Curly in the nose."

CLIP NUMBER FIVE: ("THE BIG IDEA"): (Ted, Larry, Moe, and Curly): (May 12, 1934):
"Where Moe, Larry, and Curly are in the office of the music producer, (Ted), and have completed their solo on their French Horns and are now raising their hats in thank-you. This causes their instruments to spray wated on Ted and his girlfriend."

CLIP NUMBER SIX: ("TURN BACK THE CLOCK"): (Moe, Larry, and Curly): (August 25, 1933):
"Where Moe, Larry, and Curly are in the bar area of the reception hall of Mr. and Mrs. Gimlet's wedding and are singing.

CLIP NUMBER SEVEN: ("MEET THE BARON"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (October 20, 1933):
"Where Ted, Curly, Larry and Moe are playing their Bridge game and Larry says in respones to Ted's bid of 'four spades,' Larry says 'I double," and Curly says, 'I re-double,' and Moe says, 'I triple,' and Ted tells Moe that he can't 'triple.' Moe then has a big argument with Ted about tripling. Curly then stands up and says. "The man says, you can't triple." Moe then gives Curly an eyepoke."

CLIP NUMBER EIGHT: ("FUGITIVE LOVERS"): (Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe): (January 05, 1934):
"Where Curly and Larry are fast asleep on the train. Curly then wakes up and notices a beautiful lady sleeping on Larry's shoulder and Curly pokes Larry on his arm to wake Larry up and shows Larry the beautiful girl sleeping on his shoulder and Larry smiles happily in agreement."

"THE LOST STOOGES:"
COPYRIGHT 1990:
"TURNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY:"

CREDITS:
"THE PRODUCERS WISH TO EXTEND OUR SINCERE APPRECIATION TO THE FOLLOWING PERSONS WITHOUT WHOSE HELP THIS SHOW WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE......"

1): "Richard May"
2): "Cathy Manolis"
3): "Jerry Solowitz"
4): "Rebecca Bodmar"
5): "Diana Brown"
6): "Shannon Patterson"


Videography   (3)

Fan Reviews   (0)

Collapse All | Expand All
(Click on the icon to expand individual sections.)


Back To Top





FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We make such material available in an effort to advance awareness and understanding of the issues involved. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. For more information please visit: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission directly from the copyright owner.