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Average Rating:     [2.46/10]   11 votes

ROAST-BEEF AND MOVIES

Three amateur film makers try to get the executives of Masterpiece Pictures Corp. to exhibit their new movie, only to discover that they are sanitarium escapees.



The short was produced as a way to showcase musical and dance performance footage that had been cut from MGM feature films. ROAST-BEEF & MOVIES was shot in 2-strip Technicolor to match that footage. Blue Daughter From Heaven (Chinese ballet) is taken from LORD BYRON OF BROADWAY (1929), and Dust is from CHILDREN OF PLEASURE (1930).

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ROAST-BEEF AND MOVIES on IMDb

Featuring
Curly Howard (Solo)
Release Date
February 10, 1934
Studio
MGM
Production Type
Short Subject
Duration
16.25 min.
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  • No Visible Action
    The opening scene show the transom over the door being opened and a private conversation drifts out, but then the scene cuts to inside the room and there is no one at the doorway shown opening the transom.

  • Visible Dance Step Marker
    During the "Chinese Dance" sequence, the overhead shots of the ladies moving in-and-out of the inner and outer circles of dancers reveals a circle painted on the dance floor that is the median circle between the two dancers circles.


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Transcription by Moron4392:  

"ROAST-BEEF AND MOVIES:" CURLY HOWARD; {SOLO SHORT SUBJECT}: METRO GOLDWYN MAYER: RELEASED ON: FEBRUARY 10, 1934:


We open "ROAST-BEEF AND MOVIES" where we are seeing a Movie Production Studio door that is made entirely of dark cherry wood with a leafing inlay engraved in it. There is a black metal sign with a grey metal border and four grey nails one in each corner of the sign that reads as follows:

MASTERPIECE
PICTURE
CORPORATION

We are now in the Receptionists Office where we are seeing a secretary dressed in a black linen dress, black belt, white lace collar, black stockins' and black cubed heel shoes. She is now diligently completing her typing chores.

The Receptionists Office is decorated in a dark cherry wood trim from the floor to the mid-way pointe up the wall that is painted white and is dingy and dirty. There is a dirty pink, green, and red flowered carpeting on the floor. Plus there are some dark cherry wood book shelving's. Two dark cherry wood pedestals that have one per a huge 'Oscars' statue. Along a back wall is another table with a dictational machine on it. Plus there is a white marble pedestal with a gold fish dish on it that is the home for four gold fishes. The secretary's desk has a blotter, her telephone, a pens and pencils cup, and an in and out box for post. Plus there is a little stand by her desk that has her typewriter on it.

We are now in the process of seeing 'GUS PARKYURKARKUS', {GEORGE GIVOT}: 'PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE', {BOBBY CALLAHAN}: and 'PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE', {JERRY HOWARD}: They are now entering into the Receptionists Office.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the SECRETARY: {As Gus is speaking to her off camera in a very polite tone of a voice}: "Iz zee, Prezmamdent, zee in?"

We are now seeing the secretary stopping her typing chores as she is now looking in the direction of Gus Parkyurkarkus, Producer Vice President Stooge, and Producer Secretary Stooge. She now has a horrified look of fear and panic on her face as she is now jumping up from her typing stand and is screaming in fear and panic as she is now running like a bat out of hell with her tail betwixt her trousers into a Movie Screening Office for safety.

We are now seeing Gus Parkyurkarkus; {dressed in a grey and brown plaid suit, a medium grey shirt, brown vest, brown a grey print bow tie, grey hat with a brown band, and brown dress shoes}: Producer Vice President Stooge; {dressed in a dark grey suit, white dress shirt, black tie, black and grey plaid vest, white carnation flower boutonnière, black dress shoes and he is holding onto a black hat}: Producer Secretary Stooge; {dressed in a dark blu blazer that is slightly small for him as it only buttons at the top and does not close all the way, dark grey trousers, white dress shirt, white vest, dark blue bow tie, black dress shoes, and a grey Derby style of a hat with a dark blue band}: They are now bent slightly at their waists with dazed looks on their faces as they are still watching the petrified secretary running for cover in the Movie Screening Office.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE and PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As Gus is now looking at them with a disgusted look on his face as he is stating to them in a dragged out and really disgusted voice}: "Well, how do you liked, aha, that?"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE: {As Gus is now looking at him with a look of dismay on his face and is stating to him in a really dazed voice}: "Heenha-hoo-hoo; I told I can take you in for this studio, hunha?"

All the while that Gus and Producer Vice President Stooge were having their discussion we were seeing Producer Secretary Stooge in the background with a dumbfounded look on his face as he was happily chowing down on a snack of crackers, grape juice, and a hard cooked egg.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As Gus is now noticing that he is snacking down and is looking at him with a really disgusted look as Gus is now in the process of slapping his hand causing him to set down on a desk his grape juice and hard cooked egg as Gus is shouting to him wickedly}: "Hey, what are you, a Nanny goat?"

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As he is now looking at Gus with a really mad look as he is now putting down his crackers along side of his grape juice and hard cooked egg and is shouting at Gus wickedly}: "I'm hungry!"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As Gus is looking at him with a really evil look and is shouting to him in a really demented voice}: "Say, can't you think about nothing for something to eat? Doesn't these worse couple of days behind yesterday, you was a tripe?"

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As he is looking at Gus with a really demented look and is waving a finger at him and is jumping up and down in thorough disgust is shouting loudly to Gus}: "You leave my girl out of this!"

As Gus was repemanding Producer Secretary Stooge about his snack attac we are now seeing Producer Vice President Stooge with a mischievous look on his face as he is now in the process of helping himself to a couple logs of crackers.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE: {As Gus is now looking at him with a really mean look and he is shouting to him in a really evil voice as Gus is now grabbing one of the cracker logs from him}: "What, are you, a Nanny goat too?"

PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As he is looking at Gus with a really wicked look as he is standing there holding his secon log of crackers in his right hand and his hat in his left hand and is shouting wickedly to Gus}: "I'm hungrier than he is!"

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE: {As he is looking at him with a really evil look as he is now jumping up and down and waving a finger at him and shouting}: "You outta be, you're older than I am!"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE and PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As Gus is now thoroughly disgusted with the two of them and is looking at them wickedly as he is now boinking their cocoanuts together in a state of disgust}: "Aha, wait a minutes!"

We are now seeing Producer Secretary Stooge with a really dazed look on his face as he is now rubbing his sore head in a state of pain. As we are also seeing Producer Vice President Stooge standing there still with his cracker log in his right hand and his hat in his left hand with a really perplexed look on his face as he is now shaking his head: {as we are now hearing a sound that sounds like the shaking of a kids noise maker}:

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE and PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT: {As Gus is now looking at them with an evil look as Secretary Stooge is now looking at Gus with a really disgusted look as Gus is shouting to them in a really demented voice}: "Is this done before, before you got us in lee is. I'd still have my restaurant, my beautiful 'Acropolis Number Seven'; {Here we are seeing Gus standing there with a look of pride on his face as we are seeing Producer Secretary Stooge and Producer Vice President Stooge with looks of disgust on their faces as Secretary Stooge is now brushing a piece of lint off of Gus' suit jacket and Gus is now extending his chest forwards like a proud peacock and is also extending his vest forwards}: Where you get the best 'Blue Plate Lunch' for thirty-five cents. And you Palookas, me for to sell that, and spend my money for make this picks-chure. Only is we sell this picks-chure, hooha-hooha-hooha-hooha-hooha-hooha-hooha; then we have plenty of 'Sea Lime Steak'."

As Gus was talking to them we were seeing Producer Secretary Stooge standing there with a gleeful look on his face as he is now rubbing his hands together in glee. We are now seeing the Gentlemen looking at Gus with dazed looks as Gus is now standing there once again like a proud peacock with a look of joy.

PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As Vice President Stooge is standing there still holding his hat and his log of crackers as he now has a look of disgust on his face as he is now shouting wildly to Gus}: "Yeah, if we sell it?!"

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As he is now looking at Gus with a really dazed look as he is stating to Gus in a really serious and carrying voice}: "They won't buy it, it's too smark for these dumb producers!"

We are now in the process of seeing a window transit opening as we are hearing a bunch of mumbling going on inside of the Movie Screening Office.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE and PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As Gus is now using hand gestures to support himself and has a really serious look on his face as he is now hearing the mumbling going on inside of the Movie Screening Office and is shouting to them wickedly}: "Shut-up!"

We are now inside of the Movie Screening Office that is decorated in solid dark cherry wood. Several dark cherry closet doors with flower inlays engraved on them and wooden bevelling outlining the doors. Several long conference style of table. A lowered movie viewing screen. A wall with several pictures of different movie stars and starlets. Another white marble pedestal with another gold fish dish that is also the home to four gold fishes. Two more dark cherry wood pedestals with a couple mor huge 'Oscars' statues on them. Plus along the wall with the pictures on it is another long cherry wood table with a film projector and a radio.

We are now seeing the 'PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICKTURE CORPORATION', {FRANK O'CONNOR}: standing in front of a long cherry wooden conference table dressed in a tuxedo as he is now shouting loudly to his staff who are sitting in individual chairs at one of the conference tables facing his as they are talking about the movie world.

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: to HIS STAFF: {As he is still standing at his table with a really worried look on his face as he is stating to them in a really worried voice}: "And, the reason we show picture loss this year, is because our pictures are not up to standards. And, if our own studios cannot make the kind of pictures that we need, we'll have to get them elsewheres. Why, for a good picture, I'll pay one hundred thousand dollars!"

We are now back in the Receptionists Office where we are seeing the three of them standing there with looks of dazement and joy on their faces as they are now thinking that they are now in the process of raking in the mother load.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE and PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As Gus is now looking at them with a look of happiness as the other 'Two Stooges' are now looking back at Gus in happiness also, as Gus is saying to them gleefully}: "You hear dat?"

We are now seeing Gus, Producer Secretary Stooge and Producer Vice President Stooge running at full tilt into the Movie Screening Office in happiness as they are now hoping to sell their flick.

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION to HIS STAFF: {As he is looking at his staff with a worried look as he is now asking his staff in a really worried and questionable voice}: "Have you gentlemen any suggestions to offer?"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus and His Staff have now run into the Movie Room interrupting the business meeting in a state of joyment as Gus is now slapping the Movie President on his shoulder as Gus is now shouting to him in total glee}: "Hello sport!" {here we are now seeing the Movie President falling to the floor as the Presidents staff and Gus are now helping him up in a state of worry and is looking at the President to see if he is all right as Gus is now asking him gleefully}: "You the Prezmamdent? Well, how do you fink? Is you Greek too?"

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As he is looking at Gus with a look of horrified madness as he is shouting to Gus in a loud and wicked voice}: "How dare you burst in, in this fashion, who are you?"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is now looking at him with a really sarcastic look as the Movie President is now looking at Gus with a really disgusted look as Gus is now stating to him in a really low, monotone, and thoroughly disgusted voice}: "How you a manage that?"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE and PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As Gus is looking at them with a dazed look as he is stating to them in a low, worried, monotone voice}: "He doesn't knew who I am!"

We are seeing Producer Secretary Stooge standing there with his hands on his waist and a really mad look on his face/ As we are also seeing Producer Vice President Stooge standing there with his head slightly cocked and a really mad and disgusted look on his face.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is now standing there staring at him with a really disgusted look and the Movie President is also looking at Gus with a really mad look as Gus is now shouting at him madly}: "Unha-unha; I'm Gus Parkyurkarkus, Greek Ambassadour for the Good-Will, originatour of 'Blue Eagle Special,' N.R.A. {Nicholas Restaurant Acroplois, Number Seven"}:

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE and PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE: {As they are standing there with gleeful and slightly mischievous looks as ther are holding their hats and staing in gleeful, mischievous unison}: "We Do Our Part!"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is now flinching a tad aw what His Staff said in a state of mischief as Gus is now straightening up his hand and is saying to the Movie President in a gleeful manner}: "Ane I'm the world's greatest moving pickschure Mistro. Brother to Mickey Mistro and this is my staff, hunha-hunha-hunha, let me to introduce my festa cop, or aha, my secretary: {Here we are now seeing his Secretary tipping his hat to the Movie President in politeness and is smiling gleefully, Gus has now given him a raspberry after he has now introduced him}: And this is my Vice Prezmamdent." {Here we are seeing his Vice President tipping his hat to the Movie President as he is now clicking his heels together and is giving him a really happy smile}: 'Yedda, Zebulanus, Tedderus, Paper, Trombulous, Finch. I have just the super speciality picks-chure which is so different, the population is in entrupt!"

All the while that Gus was trying to his flick to the Movie President we were seeing Producer Vice President Stooge standing there grinning from ear to ear in happiness and agreement with Gus. While Producer Secretary Stooge has now noticed the gold fish dish and is walking over to it in a sneaky state as he is now looking around to see if the coast is clear as he is now in the process of helping himself to 'a tender little morsel'.

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Secretary Stooge has now completed his snack and is pointing a finger to the Movie President with a look of mischief on his face and is stating mischievously}: "If you don't hurry up, I'll eat it up myself!"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE and PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As we are now once again seeing Gus in a thorough state of disgust as he is now again boinking their cocoanuts together}: "Well, what meanings this?"

We are now once again seeing Producer Secretary Stooge standing there with a really dazed look on his face as he is now again rubbing his head in a state of pain as we are seeing again Producer Vice President Stooge standing there with a glazed over look on his face as he is now saking his head: {As we are again hearing the sound of a kids noise maker rattling}:

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As he is standing there with his right hand resting on a conference table and his left hand on his waist and with a serious look on his face as he is asking Gus in a serious voice}: "Well, when can we see this picture?"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus now has a look of mischief on his face as he is stating to him in a happy and mischievouw voice as he is using hand gestures to support himelf}: "Hunha, not yesterday, not last week, but right now!" {Here we are seeing Gus taking a hold of his bottom lip and is extending it forwards}:

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE and PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As Gus is looking at them in a serious manner as he is saying to them in a really serious voice as Gus is now smacking his hand on the desk}: "Boys, let's for hout the fling!"

We are now seeing Producer Vice President Stooge in a serious manner now approaching the disk as he is now approaching the desk and is opening his jacket and is taking out the first three reels of filim and placing them on the desk. {As Producer Vice President Stooge was placing the film reels on the desk, Gus was pointing to them individually}:

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As he is looking at Gus with a really worried look as he is now saying to Gus in a really apologetic voice as Gus is now in the process of taking the fourth reel of film from the inside of his trousers as the film is a really wadded and tangled up mess}: "I had a little trouble, I ate the cans, but I got the film!"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is looking at him with an embarrassed look as he is saying to him in a really embarrassed and apologetic low, monotone voice}: "He had a little troubles, heenha, we fix that up!"

We are now seeing Gus looking at Producer Secretary Stooge with a mad look as Secretary Stoog is looking at Gus with a dazed look as Gus is now in the process of removing the wadded up fourth reel of film from the inside of his trousers, at first Gus takes a huge wad of film and places it on the desk, as Gus is now pulling on the trailing of film for awhile as he is now coming upon a bathroom hand towelling and is looking at it with dazement. He has now placed that on the desk with the film that is connected to it as Gus is now pulling out some more of the film as he is now coming across a pair of mens under garments and places them along with the film that is connected to them on the des. Gus has now finished removing the film from his trousers and has now completed placing it on the desk.

We are now seeing a 'STUDIO OPERATIONS STAFF BOY'; {LEE PHELPS}; now approaching the desk as he is now in the process of taking their flick back to the viewing area and setting it up to be viewed and rated.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the STUDIO OPERATIONS BOY: {As Gus is now in a state of mischief as he is now saying to him in a mischievous voice as Gus is now handing him the film cannisters individually}: "Hey, Operations, you take this, number one, this is number two, this is number three, you kick this here, you kick this around until you have number four, hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha." {Here Gus is now handing the Gentleman the wadded up fourth reel of film}:

We are now seeing the Studio Operations Boy with their flick as he is now leaving for the viewing room in a total state of wonderment.

We are now seeing Gus giving a raspberry as he is now brushing off his hands in dazement, as we are seeing Gus' staff standing there looking at Gus and the Movie President with looks of dumbfoundedness on their faces as the Movie President was standing there looking at the floor in a sheer state of boredom.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is looking at him with a serious look as Gus is now asking him in a mischievous voice}: "What is, was da last picks-chure you make?"

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As we are now seeing the Movie President standing there with a really dazed look on his face as he has one hand raised and the other hand on his waist and is starting to answer Gus as he is now being cut-off by Gus}: "Well, unha?"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE and PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As we are seeing Gus standing there with a look of mischief on his face as he is asking His Staff in a really mischievous voice}: "What is, was da las picks-chure we see?"

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As he is standing there holding his hand together with a small, smirky smile on his face is answering him back in a gleeful tone of a voice}: "The Boith Of A Nation!"

As Gus was talking with Producer Secretary Stooge we were seeing Producer Vice President Stooge standing there watching the goings ons with his mouth agait and a look of puzzlement on his face.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is now looking at him with a smirky smile and is stating to him in a mischievous voice}: "You see, aha, another trumble with you picks-chures, you don't got enough stars!"

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As the Movie President is now looking at Gus with a really perplexed look as he is saying to Gus in a low and dazed voice as he is pointing to the wall of the pictures of the different stars and starlets}: "Well, no, what's wrong with those stars?"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As we are seeing a quick glance of the wall of pictures as Gus is asking him in a low and questionable voice}: "Those are picks of stars? How you like that? What you need is picks of stars like this?"

{Here we are seeing Gus taking out from inside of his suit jacket a picture of himself and his staff. Gus is sitting down with his legs spread apart and his hands on his thighs as he has a gazed look on his face and is dressed in a brown tweed suit, white dress shirt, brown bow tie, brown vest, brown hat with a black bane on it and black dress shoes. Plus se are seeing Producer Secretary Stooge standing there holding his hands together with a look of dumbfoundedness on his face as he is dressed in a dark blue suit, with his jacket slightly too small for him the top button is buttoned and is not closing around his stomach, plus a blue and white patterned tie, white vest, dark blue dress shirt, black Derby style of hat, white stockins' and black dress shoes. Also we are seeing Producer Vice President Stooge standing there in a brown woollen suit that is on size too large for him with the jacket sleeves covering his hands, a white dress shirt, brown-white-and black print tie, brown vest, brown hat with a white band, a white rose flower boutonnière, and black dress shoes with his head slightly cocked to his right side and a bugged eyed dazed look on his face}:

We are now seeing Gus walking over to the wall as he is now pounding down their picture on the wall as he is now in the process of knocking off the wall the pictures of the other stars and starlets.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As he is now smiling at him in a state of mischief as he is now proudly putting up their picture and is stating in a proud voice}: "Let me, for to import to, to you peoples, you need high class picks-chure stars like this!"

We are now seeing the President of Masterpiece Picture Corporation standing there with his mouth agait and a really scared look on his face as he is now seeing the pictures falling off the wall. Plus we are seeing Gus snapping his fingers in madness as he has a really mad look on his face.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is now walking back over to him with a dazed look on his face as he is stating to him in a really mischievous voice}: "Unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha; Professamal jelousy!"

We are now seeing the Movie President standing there with a really hurtful look on his face. Plus we are seeing Gus standing behind the Movie President with a mean look on his face as we are now seeing Producer Secretary Stooge standing behind Gus and is patting Gus on his shoulder and with a look of mischief on his face. Plus we are seeing Producer Vice President Stooge standing behind Secretary Stooge with a dumbfounded look on his face. We are now in the process of hearing the ringing of a telephone.

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION to the TELEPHONE: {As he is now picking up the telephone and is answering in a low and serious tone of a voice as he is now talking to the Studio Operations Boy}: "Hello?"

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As the Movie President is now lowering the telephone receiver to it's cradle and is saying to Gus in a really professional voice}: "The Operator is ready!"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is now snapping his fingers in commandment as he is saying to him in a really professional voice}: "Make, snappy kid!"

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION to the STUDIO OPERATIONS BOY: {As we are now hearing the Movie President stating to him in a really professional voice}: "Okay!"

As the Movie President was talking to the Studio Operations Boy we were seeing Gus and His Staff standing there looking at him with looks of glee on their faces.

We are now seeing the Movie President, Gus Parkyurkarkus, and Gus' Staff entering into the Movie Screening Office.

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION to GUS and HIS STAFF: {As the Movie President has now hung up the telephone and is saying to them in a serious voice}: "Gentlemen, will you be seated?!"

We are now seeing Gus tipping his hat to the Movie President as Gus is now taking a seat next to him. We are now seeing Producer Secretary Stooge bowing and tipping his hat to Producer Vice President Stooge. Producer Vice President Stooge is now tipping his hat and bowing back to Producer Secretary Stooge, as they are now taking seats a couple of rows behind Gus and the Movie President. The house lights are now in the process of dimming as we are beginning the wonderful journey of viewing their flicks.

Here we are seeing a tiny smattering of one of their flicks, it turns out to be an ending segement.

"FILM ENDING SMATTERING:" {STARTED}:

This little flim blip is set on a beautiful Summer's night. Not a single star in the skye and there is no moon either. There are beautiful Maple trees in full leafing. Plus we are seeing Producer Vice President Stooge dressed entirely in black casual wear. We are also seeing Producer Secretary Stooge sitting on a parke bench dressed entirely in black dress wear as he is now hugging tightly a beautiful Young Lady who is dressed in a caplet sleeved full length dress that is navy blue and turquoise blue plaid with a white lace collar and a white sash belt. We are now seeing Producer Vice President Stooge viciously smacking the parke bench with a whip.

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to the LOVELY YOUNG LADY: {As he is sitting there giving her goo-goo eyes and is now passionately kissing her and is stating to her in a low and loving tone of a voice}: "Darling, I've got to go!" {Here we are seeing Producer Vice President Stooge once again viciously smacking the parke bench several times with his whip behind Producer Secretary Stooge with a really wicked look on his face}:

LOVELY YOUNG LADY to PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As she is sitting there hugging his tightly and is saying to him in a really worried tone of voice}: "You've gotta go?"

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to the LOVELY YOUNG LADY: {As he is looking at Producer Vice President Stooge with a really wicked look as Producer Vice President Stooge is still wickedly smaking the parke bench with the whip as Secertary Stooge is now giving the Lovely Young Lady a good-bye hug and kiss}: "Yes, I've got to go!"

THE LOVELY YOUNG LADY to PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As she is now clasping her hands together and is slightly sighing and laughing as she is saying to him in a mischievous voice}: "Well, if you gotta go, you gotta go!"

"FILM ENDING SMATTERING:" {ENDING}:

We are now seeing the house lights brightening as we are seeing the Movie President sitting there next to Gus as he is now looking at Gus with a really evil look.

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As he is now asking Gus in a mean and questionable voice as the President is now jumping up in a state of disgust}: "What's the idea, the end coming on the screen right at the beginning?!"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is now standing up in fear and is saying to him in a really serious voice as Gus is holding his hat}: "Well, that's the new tech-na-queie, we comenses where's de others is finished." {Here we are now seeing Gus spinning a finger in circles to help express himself}:

We are now getting a quick shot of both Producer Vice President Stooge and Producer Secretary Stooge as the two of them are now sitting there with serious looks on their faces as they are now being very tenative.

PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As he now has look of mischief on his face as he is stating to Gus in a really mischievous tone of a voice and he is waving a finger at Gus}: "Tell him about the dancing girls!"

We are now getting a close-up on both the Movie President and Gus Parkyurkarkus. The Movie President is sitting there looking at Gus with a blank stare as Gus is now snapping his fingers in glee and has a joyful look on his face.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is looking at him with a gleeful and slightly mischievous look as he has now snapped his finger again and is saying to him in a mischievous voice}: "I'm for denious, forgot to tell you. Now is comes the big minutes. When you's sees the girls dancing, you think they be Chinese Girls. No siree boy, because real Chinese Girls dance across zee stage like that; {Here we are now seeing the President of Masterpiece Picture Corporation watching Gus bery tenatively as Gus is now waving his right hand in a cross ways fashion, from side to side as the Movie President is also waving his hand from side to side}: But zee's girls dance around zee stage like that." {Here we are now seeing Gus waving his hands in a circular motion as the Movie President is now looking at Gus with a dumbfounded look on his face as he too is waving his hands in a circular motion}: This dance is tell's a story about an olde Chinese bootcher who's relimes hes get olde so he fall's on his cleaver and dies!"

We are now seeing both Producer Vice President Stooge and Producer Secretary Stooge sitting there with really devious looks on their faces as they are now enjoying Gus' story.

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS and the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As he now has a really mischievous look on his face as he is pointing a finger at them and is stating to them mischievously}: "Don't cleaver these Chinese!"

Here we are now seeing both Gus Parkyurkarkus and the Movie President both jumping up in a state of fear as the two of them are now looking at Producer Secretary Stooge with really evil glares of disgust. Gus has now stood up and has given Producer Secretary Stooge an evil eye and then a raspberry.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is now sitting back down besides him and has now wrapped his arm around his shoulders and has a really gleeful look on his face as Gus is now stating to him in a really happy and chummy tone of a voice}: "Well, Prezzie, olde boy, let's go for to see the dancing Girls in China."

"THE ALBERTINA RASCH GIRLS:" {SONG AND DANCE ROUTINE}: {START}: {COMPLETED TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY}:

We open the dance routine where we are seeing a back-drop of a misty night in China, stars, full haze over a full moon and Chinese style of buildings.

We are now seeing 'The Albertina Rasch Girls' dressed in short style of skirts that are made of a green cotton panel and white Buddha's on it. Plus the green panel is also outlined in a black grograin ribbon plus the rest of the skirts are made of mainly gold silk with a red grograin ribbon down the centre sides. Plus they are also wearing a sheer white netting style of a shirt with three huge red jewells on the centre. Plus they are alos wearing short shawl style of shirts that are caped sleeved and have one red button at the top. The shirts are made mainly of black linen trimmed in red-green-and gold satin. Plus their head gear is huge white metalic fans with a row of red-green-and gold jewells. Plus als painted on the left sides of the head gear are the faces of Chinese Ladies and on the right sides there are red and green dragons. Plus they are wearing white tights and red-green-gold-and-black ballet slippers and are holding onto two leaf-fans.

The Albertina Rasch Girls have their backs to the camera and are bent over at their waists with them fans touching the stage floor as they are in a complete circle.

Plus we are seeing the Lead Dancer; {ANN DVORAK}; standing in the centre of the Girls with two leaf fans raised above her head.

We are now seeing 'The Albertina Rasch Girls' slowly standing up as they along with Mrs. Dvorak are now doing a shuffle skip style of a dance as some of the Girls are going the the right while the others are going to the left as Mrs. Dvorak is swaying from side to side still in the centre.

We are now seeing the Girls scurring around the stage in different directions as some of them are now on the front of the stage doing a run style of a skip dance waving their fans over their heads as the the rest of the Girls are on the second tier of the stage swaying from side to side as they too are now doing a run style of a skip dance and are now joining the rest of the Girls on the lower tier of the stage.

We are now seeing the Girls still doing their run-skip style of a dance as they are now completing twenty laps around the stage with their fans shading their faces.

The Girls are now run-skipping up to the centre of the stage still with their fans shading their faces.

They are now on the second tier of the stage as they are now in a smaller circle still doing their skip style of dance as they are now skipping colse to one another as they are now in a big huddle.

Now they are still on the second tier of the stage as they have now gotten into a medium-sized circle and have their hands on each others shoulders as they are now completing a small two-step slow shuffle style of a dance in circles.

We are now getting an over-head view of the The Dancers as they have now skipped apart into two rows as they still have their hands on each others shoulders and are still doing their slow two-step shuffle style of a dance in circles.

We are now seeing The Girls facing forwards still in their circle now doing a ballet style of a pierroté dance going a few steps to their right and then a few steps to their left.

We are now getting another over-head view of the Dancers as they are now breaking up into two groupes of circles a large circle around a smaller circle as they are now kicking their legs forwards and backwards like a chorus-line style of a dance as they are also merrily twirlling around in circles.

Now they are still doing their chorus-line style of a dance as they have now completed several more twirls as they are now coming together and are dancing lke the inside of a kaleidoscope as you are twirlling it around.

They are now back into one large circle as they are now doing a tap style or a dance forwards and backwards on the second tier of the stage.

They are still in their one large circle dancing around in circles as they are now doing a ballet style of a toe dance then into a pierroté dance.

Now they are making short little circular jaunts in circles as they are now holding hands and are kicking their legs to and fro in a can-can style of a dance.

We are now getting a close-up shot of the Ladies as they are still in their one huge circle with gigantic smiles on their faces and their hands on their waists.

They are now doing a chorus-line style of a dance swaying from side to side as they are also swishing their heads from side to side.

Now they are still in their circle with their arms wrapped around each others shoulders as they are now doing a tap style of a dace backwards and then forwards as they are still swishing their heads from side to side.

We are now getting another over-head view of the Ladies as they are still in their circle and are completing a chorus-line shuffle style of a dance as they are kicking their legs forwards and backwards as they are now turning slowly in a counter-clock wise circle.

They are now into three smaller circles and are doing a soft-shoe style of a dance forwards and backwards that once again looks like the turning of a kaleidoscope.

JAMES BURROWS: {SINGING}: {START}:

"The moon is new and as pure as ever. You're like heaven to me and it is shining on you as I wonder and is pure as the seventh-heaven. The moon, yes, my dear, you are my my heaven. With the moon shining on you. Yes, you are my heaven, follow me as the moon is shining on you. That's where I'll find my someone, with that one I love. As we dance under that pure moon, in that beautiful heaven. It's that moon in that pure heaven that makes me love you. Yes, it is that wonderful moon in that silvery heaven-like skye that makes me want you indeed, my love."

JAMES BURROWS: {SINGING}: {ENDING}:

As Mr. Burrows was singing we first saw an over-head view of the Lady Dancers as they are now once again completing a can-can style of a dance kicking their legs forwards and backwards and bending them at the knees as they were slowly turning around in a circle.

Next, another over-head view where we are now seeing the Lady Dancers breaking into two circles as they were still doing their can-can style of a dace. As the outer circle of Ladies were kicking their legs forwards the inner row of Ladies were bending at the knee and then we saw the inner circle of Ladies kicking their legs forwards while the outer circle of Ladies were bending their legs at the knees and twirlling them around in circles.

Now the Ladies still with an over-head view are slowly turning in a circle as they are now doing a soft-shoe style of a skip dance as they are bending at their waists forwards and backwards.

Now they are swaying from side to side doing a two-step style of a dance as they are now waving their fans up and down in unison as they are also bending at their waists.

We are now seeing a front shot of the Ladies as they are now holding hands and are doing a ballet style toe pierroté style of a dance as they are still slowly rotating around in the circle.

We are now seeing the Ladies doing a ballet toe dance as they are now crossing their legs in front then in back as they are also kicking their legs to and fro sideways.

We are now once again getting an over-head shot ot the Laides as they are at first doing a chorus-line style of a dance and then then are skipping in and out like once again the turning of a kaleidoscope.

Another over-head shot of the Ladies as they are now doing another ballet pierroté style of a dance inner-spursed with a chorus-line style of a dance as they are still turning slowly around in their circle as they are now bending their heads backwards and forwards.

Now the Ladies are skipping in a ballet toe style of a dance sliding their feet up and down their legs to the front of the stage and then back to the centre of the stage a dozen times.

Now we are seeing the Ladies rocking forwards and backwards still doing a ballet pierroté style of a dance and are slowly turning in their circle and still holding hands with one another.

We are now seeing the Ladies still in their circle still holding hands with one another as they are now dancing in a slow circle complete on their toes.

We are now seeing the Ladies extending their fans as they are still holding hands with one another as they have taken a step to the front of the stage as they are now getting down on their knees and are bending forwards as they are now worshipping a gigantic Buddha Statue. They are now slowly spinning around on a rotating stage.

In closing we see the Ladies standing up in toe position as they are now slowly revolving around on the stage waving their fans over their heads.

"THE ALBERTINA RASCH DANCERS:" {SONG AND DANCE ROUTINE}: {ENDING}: {COMPLETED TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY}:

We are now back in the Movie Screening Office where we are once again seeith the house lights coming back on.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As We are now seeing the Movie President sitting there very attentative and interested in what Gus has to say with a serious look on his face. Gus is now sitting there with his legs crossed leaning towards him holding onto his hat in a very excited manner}: "The next scene, is in the Gay Nineties where everything's hostle and bostle. If you hostle you can bostle!"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS'S MOVIE: {START}: {COMPLETED TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY}:

{Just would like to put this little notational here. This is suppose to be a silent movie, and the narrations and lines are all provided by Gus Parkyurkarkus.}:

We are now seeing Producer Vice President Stooge and Producer Secretary Stooge sitting in behind Gus and the Movie President listening very professionally as we are now hearing the Produce Secretary Stooge cackling loudly at Gus's joke as Gus is now turning around and giving him a really filthy look.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As the Movie President is now once again very interested in what Gus is about to say as Gus now once again has a really joyful look on his face as he leaning once again towards the Movie President and is stating to him in a really joyful tone of a voice}: "Is you go and sees a girl that looks like Mae West but it isn't, it's her twin sister; 'EASTER WESTER'; {DOROTHY GRANGER}: and we's get her wis her oncle the villum. Zee's villum is trying to keep the twin sisters apart that is where you get that saying?"

PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE and PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As we are now seeing both of them standing up at attention as they are holding onto their hats and with mischievous looks on their faces as they are now saying in mischievous unison}: East is East, and West is West, and never the TWIN should meet!"

We are now seeing both the Movie President with Gus looking at the two of them with really disgusted looks on their faces.

We are now taking the liberty at seeing both Vice President Stooge and Producer Secretary Stooge saving Gus the trouble as they are now boinking their cocoanuts together with really hurtful looks on their faces as the two of them are now shaking their cocoanuts as we are seeing Producer Secretary Stooge standing there with a really dazed look on his face and rubbing his head in pain as Producer Vice President Stooge is once again shaking his head; {as we are hearing the shaking of a kids noise maker}:

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is now brushing off his hands and is giving a raspberry as he is stating to him in a really embarrassed tone of a voice}: "The boys, is for to make me for to laughter." Now, we are going to see the Easter Wester Scene!"

We are now seeing the house lights dimming once again as the movie is now starting to roll as we are now seeing the opening credits screen that reads as follows:

It is a teal blue background with another outlining oval that is in a turquoise blue and the credits words in the colour white and there is a skye blue coloured oval around his name:

{REMEMBER PLEASE, THIS IS COMPLETED TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY}:


At the top we are seeing a very small picture of a calico red and white dish with a picture of a steak and baked potato on it.
{TRADE MARK}:

ACROPOLIS N° 7 PRODUCTIONS Ltd.

PRESENTS:

"PREPARE TO DIE:"

PRODUCED BY:

GUS PARKYURKARKUS:

{KING OF THE 35¢ BLUE PLATE SPECIAL}:


We are now seeing the movie stage that is decorated in 1800's decor. White painted walls, red cherry wood trimming at the bottom of the walls. Several different pictures of people tacked up on the walls. Dark red cherry wood floorings. Huge ornate hand carved in flowers and fillagreé at the back and arms with a black and white pastell print bench covering wooden plan bench. One red and gold Oriental toss rug at the doorway entrance to a bedroom quarters. There is a hallway entrance that has flowered wall covering on it in dark blue, red, green, and orange with a bumper shoots stand of white marble in the corner. Plus there is a dining table with a thick golden linen table covering with tassles on it. Maroon coloured heavy ornate linen curtains drawn back with maroon and gold coloured braided ropes on the entrance doorway to the bedroom quarters.

We are now seeing the film rolling as we are now seeing 'Easter Wester'; {DOROTHY GRANGER}: standing at the left side of your screen dressed in a full length, flared skirt, long sleeved, white lace dress with a white and gold boa tied around her neck, white stockins', white spiked heeled shoes, her head gear is a huge hat that is white with gold feather braiding and a huge gold and white feather sticking out the back of it, plus she is carrying a white with golden feathered trim bumper shoot.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is now still describing his flick to him in a really serious tone of a voice}: "That's the Villum and that's Easter Wester." {The Villum is a gentleman who is pacing to and fro with a worried look on his face as he has his hands up to his mouth and is dressed in a grey suit, white dress shirt, grey and white tie, grey vest, Bolder style of a hat and grey dress shoes}: "You see the 'Guy On The Couch': {dressed in a medium grey suit including the vest, white dress shirt, black tie, and black dress shoes}:

We are now in the process of seeing the 'GUNMAN'; {ED BRADY}: aiming a .44 maginum gat at the man at gun pointe: {The gentleman sitting on the davenporte}:

GUNMAN to the MAN AT GUN POINTE: {WARREN HYMER} {As the gunman is now looking at him with a really evil look on his face as he is wickedly waving his gat at the man at gun pointe and is saying to him in a really evil tone of a voice}: "I don't like you, you are the homeliest man I ever see."

MAN AT GUN POINTE to the GUNMAN: {As the man at gun pointe is now pointing at himself and is looking at the gunman with a really evil look on his face and is saying to him in an evil and serious tone of a voice}: "Who me? I don't, can't help dat!"

GUNMAN to MAN AT GUN POINTE: {As the gunman is now looking at him disgustedly and is still waving his gat in his face and is saying to him in an evil tone of a voice}; "Well, you can stay home once in a while!"

We are now in the process of seeing the gunman rubbing his moustache in a state of disgust:

GUS PARKYURKARKUS NARRATING: {"He stroke his moustache, flat on dat moustache is four strokes. Up jumps his four Lawyers"}:

We are now in the process of seeing the Gunmans four Lawyers; {1: "ROCHESTER:" 2: "ALBANY:" 3: "SYRACUSE:" 4: "CINCANAPOLIS:"}: As the gunman is now whispering to them his next dirty plot.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS NARRATING: {About the gunman and his four Lawyers}: {"They go into a hut, and football players. Greek fellas, high class kids. Looks like 'Rochester' has 'Albany', Buffalo, hunha, the villum ponders, he's cookin' up a pot; ---- I mean a plot"}:

{As Gus was doing the above narrating we were weeing the gunman in a huddle confiding with his four Lawyers on what to do with the man at gun point}:

We are now seeing Easter Wester sauntering over to the davenporte as she is now sitting down nextg to the man at gun pointe and is looking at him with a really worried look on her face as he is looking back at her with a really worried look.

EASTER WESTER to the MAN AT GUN POINTE: {As she is saying to him in a really carrying tone of a voice and a quizzical look on her face}: "I think thos are the four 'Marx Brothers,' I can tell by the 'Groucho' manner."

As Easter Wester was talking to the man at gun pointe we were seeing the gunman and his four Lawyers standing there looking at them with disgusted looks.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS NARRATING: {"The four Lawyers then shuffle it of to Buffalo, stopping to call a man in Troy."}:

{As Gus was completing the above narrating we were seeing the four Lawyers in a total state of disgust as they were now leaving as 'Syracuse' stops and makes his quick telephone call to his friend in Troy}:

GUNMAN to the MAN AT GUN POINTE: {As we are now seeing the gunman standing there with a really evil look on his face as he is pointing his gat at them man at gun pointe; {the gentleman on the davenporte}; who is sitting there with a really hurtful look on his face as Easter Wester also has a really hurtful look on her face. The gunman states}: "Primp has to die, primp has to die!"

We are now seeing Easter Wester getting up off of the davenporte as she is now running over to the gunman as she is now passionatelly hugging him and plastering a good on his lips.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS NARRATING: {"She grab him, she kiss him, and dat baby, knows who to kiss. He wilted, and shorted da gun. When see what she dooed to the gun"}:

{As Gus was completing the above narrating we were in the process of seeing the Gunman and Easter Wester happily engaged in lip-lock as we are now seeing the barrel of his gat bending in two}:

EASTER WESTER to the GUNMAN: {As she is now noticing the bent barrel on his gat and is saying to him in a really apologetic tone of a voice}: "Why don't you come up to see me for sometime?" {Here we are now seeing the barrel of his gat straightening back up}:

GUS PARKYURKARKUS NARRATING: {"Dat gun has got brims"}:

We are now in the process of seeing Easter Wester with a really loving look on her face as she is now giving the Gunman goo-goo eyes as the Gunman is also giving her the goo-goo eyes back as they are now in the process of engaging once again in a huge hug and kiss fest.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS NARRATING: {"She grab him and kiss him again-again-again-again-again-again-again-again, and kiss him"}:

GUNMAN to EASTER WESTER: {As the Gunman is now coming to his senses and has a really disgusted look on his face as he is now pushing her away and is shouting to her in a really wickec tone of a voice}: "Scramble, you eck! I have work to do kid, he decide to shoot the guy on the couch. He aim, he pull the trigger, fire, shoot himself in the foot. He dies by the inches not by the foot. He reels, he reels again, that makes two reels. The great actour is dead!" {Here we are seeing the gunman complete two circles as he is now falling dead to the floor}:

{As the Gunman was dieing we were seeing the man at gun pointe sitting on the davenporte and Easter Wester standing there as they both have really hurtful looks on their faces as the Gunman has now dropped dead.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS NARRATING: {"The score is one down, and on fourth to go"}:

We are now seeing Easter Wester saunterning over to the davenporte and the Man At Gun Pointe.

EASTER WESTER to the MAN AT GUN POINTE: {As she is now in the process of sitting on the arm of the davenporte as she is saying to him in a very flirtatious manner}: "Hello, short, tall, and handsome, what da ya say we get married?"

{Here we are seeing Easter Wester really flirting with him as he is looking at her with his mouth agait and a really worried look on his face}:

GUS PARKYURKARKUS NARRATING: {"Well, he don't got nothin' else to do, so he says its honk-a-doodlie with me. So they get married and live happily ever after"}:

END OF: {"PREPARE TO DIE"}: {WRITTEN AND NARRATED BY: GUS PARKYURKARKUS}: {Completed to the best of my ability}:

We are now once again back in the Movie Screening Room where we are now seeing the house lights brightening again as Gus has a really proud look on his face as the President of Masterpiece Picture Corporation is now looking at him with a really bored and dumbfounded look on his face.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is now grinning from ear to ear as he is saying to him in a really proud tone of a voice}: "Isn't that be-gorgeous?"

PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As he has a really gleeful look on his face as he is stating to Gus in a really carrying ton of a voice}: "Why, it's collassal!"

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE: {As Secretary Stooge is now looking at him with a serious look and is saying back to him in a really serious tone of a voice}: "It's super collassal!"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus is sitting there with his legs crossed, as he is holding onto his hat, has a serious look on his face as Gus is saying to the Movie President who is sitting there with a really gleeful look on his face as Gus is now stating}: "The next scene, my Secretary is explen to you!"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE: {As we are now seeing both the Movie President and Gus looking at him as Gus is stating to him in a really serious tone of a voice}: "Go ahead, Mr. Vas-bull-a-kiss!"

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As Secretary Stooge is looking at him with a serious look on his face and is pointing a finger at him and is stating in a really serious voice}: "Okay boss!"

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Secretary Stooge is now standing up and putting on his hat as he is using hand gestures to support him self and had a serious look on his face as he is stating in a serious voice}: "In the next scene we are going to see the dancing girls again. Only this dance is about a man and a wife who are walking through the Sahara Desert, when they run out of water. The wife after being delierous for three weeks falls down and exhausted cries."

PRODUCER VICE PRESIDENT STOOGE to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As he is now jumping up in a state of mischief as he is now cutting off Secretary Stooge and is getting his two cents in as he is stating in a wicked tone of a voice}: "If I don't have water, I'll die!"

We are now seeing Producer Secretary Stooge giving Vice President Stooge a couple of eyepokes and twists his head in pain.

PRODUCER SECRETARY STOOGE to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As he is stating to him in a really serious tone of a voice and a serious look on his face}: "Watch, closely!"


"THE ALBERTINA RASCH DANCERS:" {SAHARA SONG AND DANCE ROUTINE}: {START}: {Completed To The Best Of My Ability}:

We open this song and dance routine where we are seeing a lavisly decorated stage of several huge palm trees, mountains of sand scattered throughout the back of the stage. A beautiful waterfall shooting upwards in different lenghts of spray. A mural painted on the back wall of huge whit Comoulous Clouds, a full shinning sun. Plus also on the stage at the back is a beautiful golden archway.

We are now seeing 'The Albertina Rasch Dancers' standing in four even rows lf different layers of the stage as they are dressed in black micro-mini shorts with golden trim on the leg line, a white inlay on the shorts representing horns of steers. Plus they are wearing gymnastic style of black shirts, sleevless and a turtle neck style of a collar. Plus they are also wearing black head gear with huge steer horns on them. Plus they are also wearing white tights with fur like golden shaps and white tapping shoes. Plus there is gold metallic like piping down the sides of the shaps. Plus they also have two white pouch-like thingies one on each side of their shorts to represent saddle-bags.

We are first seeing the Ladies lined-up in eight rows one behind the other one as they are now doing a clog style of a tap dance as they are swaying their arms from side to side.

Next we are seeing the Ladies still in their same line-up format as they are now doing a shuffle to and fro style of a tap dance.

Next we are seeing the Ladies doing a swaying from side to side march style of a dance as they are now doing a cross over style of a tap dance where they are doing a hesitation style of a dance at first kicking their legs forwards and then backwards as they are now putting their left foot behind their right foot as they are tap swaying from side to side and swaying their arms from side to side as they are now turning slowly around in circles.

We are now seeing the Ladies in eight rows on different tiers of the stage as they are closely huddled together holding hands and are swaying from side to side gently tapping their shoes:

{As the Ladies were doing their swaying dance we were seeing Mrs. Dvorak in front as she was at first slightly bent at her waist as she was doing a fast run-march style of a dance in place as she is now secondly tapping around in cirlces and waving her arms over her head as she is finishing her dance segment slowly shuffling across the stage sideways}:

Now we are seeing the Ladies with their hands on their waists as they at first are taking several march steps forwards and then backwards.

Now we are seeing the Ladies slowly twirlling down the stairs doing a circular tap dance as they are waving their hands from side to side above their heads as they are now swaying from side to side kicking their legs outwards at their sides.

Next we are see the Ladies doing a chorus-line style of a tap dance as they are at first kicking their right legs forwards as with their left legs backwards as they are now bending forwards and backwards and are swaying their arms from side to side over their heads.

{As the Ladies were dancing above we got a close-up on Mrs. Dvorak as she is rapidly shuffle swaying tap dancing from side to side as she has her hands on he waist as she is now bobbing her head from side to side as she is now doing a tap dance turning in circles of of the stage}:

Now we are seeing the Ladies broken down into two differet groupes. The front groupe of Ladies are doing a run-march style of a tap dance forwards and backwards as they are now kicking their legs from side to side and are now turning slowly around in circles as they are swaying their arms from side to side.

The back eight rows of Ladies are standing in eight individual circles as they are holding hands with one another as they are completing a sideways tap dance going slowly around the stage in circles.

We are now seeing the front eight rows of Ladies twisting from side to side as they are waving their arms from side to side as they are now doing a Jitterbug style of a tap dance as they are now for a few steps doing a chorus-line style of a tap dance then they are now rapidly dancing around in circles and are kicking their legs from side to side.

All the while that the front Ladies were doing their dance routine we were seeing the back groupe of Ladies as they at first are standing still and are swaying from side to side as they are now picking up their tempo and are now doing a quick two-step style of a tap dance as they are now kicking their legs forwards and backwards as they are still slowly moving around the stage tiers in circles.

We are now seeing the front bunch of Ladies as they are now at first completing a circular style of a tap dance as they are now becoming straight lines as they are now waving their arms to and from by their sides as they are dancing through one another as they are looking like a giant moving X.

The back row of Ladies are now doing a side to side shuffle style of a tap dance slowly moving in circles as they are now breaking up and the centre groupe of Ladies are now doing a fast toy soldier style of a march dance as they are now slowly turning in circles and are weaving in and out from one another.

The front rows of back Ladies are now doing a double-step style of a tap dance down the stairs as they are swaying their arms over their heads from side to side.

We are now seeing the front rows of Ladies as they are bending forwards and backwards as they are now dancing in circles and then they are tapping from side to side and are kicking their legs out at their sides as they are now doing a can-can style of a tap dance swinging their arms from side to side.

While the front rows of Ladies were doing their dance routine the back rows of Ladies were swaying their arms to and from at their sides as they were gently tapping in place and bobbing up and down, bending at their kness and then standing up.

Now we are seeing the front rows of Ladies as they are now rapidly standing sideways and are shuffling from side to side and then doing a circular style of a dance then a short bout with the chorus-style of a tap dance as they are now returning to their rapid sideways shuffle dance as they are waving their arms to and fro at their sides.

As the front rows of Ladies were doing their routine we were seeing the back rows of Ladies rapidly bobbing up and down holding hands and are raising them up and down as they are now doing a quick two-step sideways shuffle style of a dance.

Now we are seeing the back rows of Ladies in the dark gently swaying from side to side.

We are now seeing a spot light shinning on the front rows of Ladies as they are doing a side to side waddle style of a tap dance rapidly waving their arms from side to side. They are now tapping as they are standing sideways and are now looking like they are diving front wards into a swimming poole.

We are now seeing the back rows of Ladies joining up with front rows of Ladies as they are now doing a tap style of a dance as they are bending their bodies in a zig-zag style of a movement as they looked like a bunch of slithering snakes as they are now completing one full circle and are now looking towards their right sides standing sideways as they are bending at their knees and doing a double footed jump style of a dance as they are now being engulfed in a thick misy haze like smoke.

All the Ladies are now in a slightly darkened stage still with the haze around them as they are now clasping their hands together and are thrusting them upwards and downwards as they are bending at their waists and doing a sideways shuffle style of a dance. Now they are turning quickly around as they are now kicking their legs forwards and backwards in front of themselves looking to their rights.

We are now seeing the Ladies once again breaking into two groupes.

The front rows of Ladies are now in eight complete different rows as they are now doing an in place shuffle style of a dance as they are once again looking like they are doing a forwards dive into a swimming poole.

The back rows of eight lines of Ladies are wildly bending to and fro as they are waving their arms from side to side and are tapping rapidly in circles.

We are now seeing the eight back rows of Ladies as they are swaying from side to side as they are tapping around in circles.

We are now seeing the eight front rows of Ladies as they are now at first doing a rapid packed march style of a dance as they are now swaying forwards and backwards bending at their waists and are thrushing their arms up and down at their sides.

As the front rows of Ladies were doing their routine we were seeing the back rows of Ladies swaying their arms from side to side as they were doing a tap style of swaying dance and are now running around in circles.

All the while that the Ladies were doing their different dances they we still covered in the misty haze.

The front rows of Ladies are now doing a kick style of a dance where they are kicking their right legs out to their sides as they are stomping their left foots up and down as they are bending up and down at their waists and are waving their arms forwards and backwards at their sides.

The eight back rows of Ladies were at first swaying their arms to and fro over their heads as they are now joining hands and are doing a can-can style of a dance.

We are now seeing the front rows of Ladies doing a skip style of a dance in all different directions as they are now joining up once again with the back rows of Ladies who were still holding hands and doing a sideways to step march style of a tap dance.

We are now seeing the haze disapating as the stage lights are coming up as the Ladies are now once again in their rows on the different tiers of the stage as they are now turning from side to side tapping in place as they are clasping their hands together and are swaying from side to side as they are now still clapping their hands together as they are now kicking their legs out in front of themselves.

THE ALBERTINA RASCH DANCERS {SINGING}: {START}:

"Come high and low on the ocean, yes this is a great nation. Yes, yes, I will love you on the ocean the rest of our lives. Sooha, yes we will send you to the Navy, when we can say yes, my baby. We will surely miss you, our babies when you join in the Navy. I will always love you. Oh, he dokee all aboard my men. We hope you will enjoy yourselves as you sail on the great white ocean as you are now Navy men. Yes, us women will miss you and always will love you until you return from the Navy my love. Yes, we will see the rainbow at the end of your boat my dear, yes we will always love this nation. This great, wonderful nation as we now have our men proudly serving in the Navy."

THE ALBERTINA RASCH DANCERS {SINGING}: {ENDING}:

As the Ladies were first singing wea re seeing the front rows of Ladies clapping their hands together as they are swaying from side to side stomping their right foot as they turned right then stomping their left foot as they turned left.

The back rows of Ladies were swaying from side to side clapping their hands together and doing a shuffle forwards and backwards tap dance.

Now we are seeing all of the Ladies on a slowly rotating stage as the front rows of Ladies are now swaying from side to side at their waists still clapping their hands as they are now doing a march in place style of a tap dance.

The back rows of Ladies are now swaying their arms to and fro as they are now skipping down the steps to join up with the front rows of Ladies.

We are now seeing all but ten of the Ladies all in the front rows. Both rows of Ladies are now clasping their hands together as they are now waving theim from side to side as they are still on the rotating stage and are now bending up and down at their waists and are as they are now tapping in place as they now look like a bunch of Indians on the war-path.

All of the Ladies are now bowing downwards and then are coming up as they are now shaking their arms loosely at their sides as they are now doing a shuffle to and fro then side to side style of a tap dance.

We are now seeing the mist slowly coming up again as the Ladies are now rocking from side to side as they are slapping their thighs and are bending at the waists as they are rocking on thei feet and are stomping them at the same time.

The Ladies are now doing a can-can style of a dance mixed with a march style of a dance.

We end the dance routine where we are seeing a Naval boat being blown up as the Ladies are now running fratically off of the stage in all different directions in a total state of fear and panic.

"THE ALBERTINA RASCH DANCERS:" {SAHARA SONG AND DANCE ROUTINE}: {ENDED}: {Completed To The Best Of My Ability}:


We are now back in the Movie Screening Office as the house lights are now coming on. We are seeing the Movie President resting his head on his left hand as he has now fallen asleep in a total state or boredom. Gus Parkyurkarkus is sitting there with his legs crossed and a look of total pride on his face.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION: {As Gus now has a reall proud look on his face as he is stating in a proud tone of a voice}: "Well, that's the tarifficalla climax. What you says sport?"

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As the Movie President is now jumping up in a state of glee as he is saying to the grinning from ear to ear proud Gus in a really happy and gleeful tone of a voice}: "I think your picture's great, will you take a hundred thousand dollars for it?"

We are now seeing the beyond the enth-degree in happiness Producer Vice President Stooge and Producer Secretary Stooge jumping up in a total state of glee as they are now thinking that they have now made themselves a cool one hundred thousand dollars as they are now joining with the Movie President.

PRESIDENT of MASTERPIECE PICTURE CORPORATION to HIS STAFF: {As the Movie President now has a really gleeful look on his face as he is stating to his staff in a really gleeful tone of a voice}: "Isn't it great, gentlemen?"

WE ARE NOW LEARNING THE TRUE IDENTITY OF THE MOVIE PRESIDENT AND HIS STAFF: {THAT THEY ARE A BUNCH OF LOONIE BOIDS}:

We are now seeing the Movie President's staff sitting there with dumb looks on their faces as they are not really thrilled with anything that has taken place.

We are now seeing the four Staff Members sitting there as one of them is now in the process of folding up a paper aireplane. While the 'Movie Producer; {SI JENKS}: is inflating an orange balloon, and another one is now playing with a set of jacks and a ball and the fourth one is now happily playing with a boy doll that states cookoo everytime the doll flips his arms and legs.

Now we are seeing the Movie President looking at his staff in glee as Gus Parkyurkarkus and His Staff are now standing there with their mouths agait as they are now wondering what in the world kind of a mess have they gotten themselves into.

END OF THE SHORT:

We are now ending "ROAST-BEEF AND MOVIES" where we are now seeing two Law Enforcement Officials entering the Screening Room as we are now learing the entire Movie Production Crew is a bunch of excapee's from 'BELLEVUE HOSPITAL'; oooooops, I mean the nearest 'HA-HA-HA-HA-HA; HOUSE; NUT CAGE.

ONE LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIAL to the BUNCH OF COOKOO BOIDS: {As the Law Enforcement Official is now looking at them with a really disgusted look on his face as he is stating to them in a really mean tone of a voice}: "Hello boys, are you having a nice time? Well, you played Picture Producers all day. Let's go now!"

We are now seeing the Merry Gang of Cookoo Boids getting up from their chairs at their conference desk as they are now in the process of starting to go with two nice Law Enforcement Officials.

LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIAL to the MERRY GANG OF COOKOO BOIDS: {As he is now stopping them to take inventory as the Law Official is now saying to them in a mean tone of a voice}: "Let's see if you're all here? {1-2-3-4-5}:"

LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIAL; {NUMBER TWO}: to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As the Second Law Official is now looking at Gus with a dazed look on his face as he is now asking Gus in a questionable tone of a voice}: "And, who are you?"

GUS PARKYURKARKUS to the SECOND LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIAL: {As Gus is still lame to what is going on is stating to him in a really gleeful tone of a voice in reference to the Cookoo Movie President}: "Well, I just sell him a picks-chure for a hundred thousdand dollars!"

While Gus was answering the Law Official we are seeing in the background Producer Secretary Stooge tapping Gus on his shoulder to fill him in on what is really going on.

SECOND LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIAL to GUS PARKYURKARKUS: {As the Law Official is now looking at Gus like he and His Staff are part of the Loonie Boids Gang says in a dumbfounded tone of a voice as he is now completing his countings and is now including Gus and His Staff}: {6-7-8"}:

LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIAL to the GANG of COOKOO BOIDS: {As he is stating to them with a really serious look and is using a serious tone of a voice}: "We've gotta go home now!"

The Gang of Loonie Boids are now skipping merrily out of the Office as they are now happily following the Law Official back to their "SAFE AND SECURE PADDED WHITE CELLS."

SHORT FADE OUT:

We are seeing Gus Parkyurkarkus now figuring out what has now taken place as we are seeing him standing there with a really horrified look of fear and panic on hsi face as he is now realizing that he was playing games with a bunch of Nut Cases and has not really made a cool, fast one hundred thousand dollars.

GUS PARKYURKARKUS in a total state of madness and is using a dragged out mad tone of a voice: "Well, how do you liked dat?"


Videography   (6)

Fan Reviews   (8)
Re: ROAST-BEEF AND MOVIES
Posted 2014-11-06 20:24:34 by JWF
Edited 2014-11-06 20:25:14 by JWF

As much as I love Curly, this short was TERRIBLE! Another MGM short where totally unrelated footage cut from other MGM movies is inserted to fill out the "plot".

And if I am not mistaken, the accent that George Givot uses was the "inspiration" for the two headed giant in the color Popeye cartoon "Popeye Meets Sinbad The Sailor". Now, THAT was a good short!!!

Re: ROAST-BEEF AND MOVIES
Posted 2014-05-03 02:08:22 by Carrie The Canary

George Givot's entire act seems to consist of simply saying "Well HOW do you LIKE THAT?" every thirty seconds. Very annoying!

Curly isn't given much to do, funny or otherwise, but interesting to see him so early in his development. Also, we have a rare opportunity to hear his real voice in the "when you gotta go, you gotta go" sketch.

An historical curiosity...not much else.

Re: ROAST-BEEF AND MOVIES
Posted 2009-12-12 19:12:00 by falsealarms
Not that good. Curly eating a fish out of a fishbowl was one of the few highlights. This was dragged down by dated musical numbers and there was little chemistry between Curly and his co-stars. The oft-repeated "how do you like that" line grew tiresome. Historically interesting, but not very entertaining.

Reviewer's Rating: (1)
RE: ROAST BEEF AND MOVIES (1934)
Posted 2003-12-15 00:50:00 by stooge_o_phile
Yes very interesting from an historical standpoint.... another example of what Leonard Maltin in his "Lost Stooges" documentary described as an early MGM Two-Color Technicolor short made with comedy inserts to "match the look of the footage that they wanted to use up."I have to admit I DID like the final production number insert that Curly introduces. It's a little bizarre; depicting dancing girls in Hades with smoke coming out of their horns (!), but the music is really catchy.A little trivia: Actor George Givot, who speaks in Greek dialect here, had a pretty interesting voice-over job in his last work of his I can find. He voiced the Chef's assistant in the Disney feature "Lady and the Tramp", though naturally speaking with an Italian accent!My Rating: 2 Pokes
Re: ROAST BEEF AND MOVIES
Posted 2003-02-24 06:36:00 by Stooge
Edited 2003-07-01 19:12:00 by Stooge
Wow, this was really bad. I couldn't stand that Greek or whatever guy. He's annoying and I can barely understand his accent. Curly was pretty wasted in this, but he did provide the only laugh in the film - the part with him eating from the fishbowl. He seemed really out of place without Moe and Larry.

Reviewer's Rating: (0)
Re: ROAST BEEF AND MOVIES
Posted 2002-10-22 13:37:00 by FineBari3
Sorry. I just didnt think this was funny at all. One poke purely for historical purposes only!

Reviewer's Rating: (2)
Re: ROAST BEEF AND MOVIES
Posted 2001-06-29 02:10:00 by [Deleted Member]
I really like this short for what it is- Moeless and Larryless (and I don't mean that I like their absence)! It's certainly not laughless! What became of the other 2 guys with Curly? Did they go on to more success in showbiz? ISLIPP- gotta get a GRIPP! ®²°°¹Edited by - ISLIPP on 9/3/01 2:32:56 AM
Re: ROAST BEEF AND MOVIES
Posted 2001-05-05 01:05:00 by Mike Holme
This was kind of a weak short because Bobby Callahan and Curly get little screentime while the dancing scenes seem to get more time, I guess it was the fad back then. Curly does some funny things but the humor is quite weird like Curly eating a fish out of a fishbowl! Overall, this short could've been way better. Grade: D+Edited by - Mike Holme on 8/8/01 9:13:03 PM

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