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"Completely illogical, preponderantly impracticable, and moreover - it stinks!" - Vernon Dent (HALF-WITS HOLIDAY, 1947)

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MEN IN BLACK

At Los Arms Hospital, three brainless interns - Doctors Howard, Fine and Howard - promise Dr. Graves, the hospital superintendent, that they will devote the rest of their lives to "duty and humanity!" Instructed to rush to any room whenever "Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard" is heard over the loudspeaker, call after call features an assortment of surreal, oddball doctors, nurses and patients. An emergency leads them to operate on Dr. Graves himself, after he accidentally swallows the combination to a safe containing life-saving radium.



This first official Three Stooges comedy was nominated for an Academy Award.

Several scenes were deleted, including an alternate ending with the Stooges meeting Nellie ("their" girl), who turned out to be Siamese triplets. MEN IN BLACK's full script can be found in The Three Stooges Book of Scripts, by Joan Howard-Maurer (Citadel 1984).

Opening title music is "I Thought I Wanted You," by Archie Gottler and Edward Eliscu; see The Three Stooges Journal # 87 (Fall 1998).

IMDb Rating

MEN IN BLACK on IMDb

Featuring
Moe, Larry and Curly
Release Date
September 28, 1934
Studio
Columbia
Production Type
Short Subject
Duration
18 min.
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Cast Members   Production Crew

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Production Notes   (2)
Prod. No.:   152
Shooting Days:   5 days   From: 1934-08-28   To: 1934-09-01

Stooge Mayhem   (Avg. 3.50)
Face Slaps: 14 Eye Pokes: 0 Head Bonks: 0 Pastry Thrown: 0

Stooge Quotes   (11)
  • "Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard!"
    (P.A. Announcer)

  • "Let's pluck 'im and see if he's ripe!"
    (Larry)

  • "For duty and humanity!"
    (Moe Larry and Curly)

  • "We graduated with the highest temperatures in our class."
    (Larry)

  • "What did you do for patient in 72?" "Nothing! What'd he ever do for us!"
    (Del Henderson & Curly)

  • "Look!... Great big, giant, green canaries!!!"
    (Billy Gilbert)

  • "Should I give him sodium amytal?" "Nah, give 'im a Coca-Cola."
    (Ruth Hiatt & Larry)

  • "She's in a coma." "I am not... I'm in a bed."
    (Bud Jamison & Little Billy Rhodes)

  • "What is it, heads or tails?" "Gnug!" "What?" "Gnug!" "Is that it?" "Coitainly!"
    (Larry, Curly & Bobby Callahan)

  • "How old are you?" "I'm 35." "Nah, you couldn't get that fresh in 35 years."
    (Larry, Little Billy Rhodes & Curly)

  • "Doctor! We're mighty proud of you, you've done a wonderful thing for humanity, and when we leave here, we're goin' right down to the president's office and..." "We won't say a word about it!"
    (Moe & Curly)


Stooge Goofs   (10)
  • Boom Mike Visible
    When the Stooges emerge from the store room riding the horse, the shadow from a boom microphone appears on the wall on the left side of the screen.

  • Early Scene Prep
    After the boys are in Dr. Graves' office the second time, they're called over the loud speaker to leave. As they rush to exit, each has a wooden mallet in his hand, & Curly is swinging his arms up & down quickly. As they leave, Moe & Larry are still holding a mallet, but as Curly reaches for the door to exit, he's still seen swinging his arms, but his mallet is already in the cloth holders on the leg of his scrub pants, apparently because the script called for him to close the door, & it might've been tough to do so with the mallet in his hand.

  • Location Change
    When Dr. Graves is ordering the Stooges to go to Room 81, Larry is standing right next to Graves, then in the next shot he's suddenly halfway outside the door already.

  • Location Change
    When the janitor sees the Stooges rushing towards Dr. Graves' office, he kindly shatters the glass on the door to let the boys jump through. Moe and Larry jump through, but Curly actually puts his hand on the doorknob to open it, like his usual brainless self. But before he can open the door, the camera cuts over to the inside of the office and Curly is already inside the room suddenly.

  • Mallets Galore
    After the boys leave the superintendent's office for the second time, they run down the hallway into the store room, but Curly runs into the closed door & falls down. As he falls, his mallet pops out of the cloth holders on his scrub pants, & he leaves it there to go into the store room. Immediately afterwards, as the boys leave the store room on the horse, the mallet Curly dropped is no longer on the hallway floor, but it's back in the cloth holders on his scrub pants.

  • Moe's Line Flub
    When Moe sees the doctor's stethoscope, he says â€Å"Gimme that s...that thing there.” It sounds like he almost said â€Å"stethoscope” but remembered that he was actually just supposed to refer to it as â€Å"that thing”.

  • Orderly Chaos
    In the emergency call 'calling all cars' scene, an orderly with a tiny cart passes in front of Moe, then rushes to the left on the other side of the water fountain as if going somewhere, then passes out of view. But, he went nowhere, because the place he went left into is the tiny alcove with the loudspeaker board, behind the nurse's desk.

  • Prop Problem
    As the superintendent sends the boys out of his office to Room 81, the poor repair man is seen bending down in front of the door. As the boys run out & break the glass for the third time, the repair man stands up & turns around, appearing to show a large chunk of glass had ended up in his back right pocket. But, a closer look just before, & as, the boys break the glass, shows the reflection off that piece of glass already sticking out of the repair man's pocket before the glass is broken, especially as Moe runs past him. (Much easier to see in the colorized version)

  • Sick Hospital Clock?
    As the short begins, the clock in the upper left corner of the loud speaker call board starts off at 1:50 pm, goes to 2:40 pm quickly, then back to 1:50 pm for the rest of the short, where it's still seen at the end as the boys destroy the call board.

  • Watch Your Foot, Moe
    When Moe gets off the horse, he accidentally kicks Larry in the back.


Stooge Routines   (7)
  • Ba-ba-ba-boo, ba-ba-ba-boo, ba-ba-ba-boo
    Larry sings "Ba-ba-ba-boo, ba-ba-ba-boo, ba-ba-ba-boo!" into a loudspeaker or stethoscope.
    Also used in:  DIZZY DOCTORS

  • Cotton!
    The Stooges are doctors operating on something. When one of the Stooges asks another Stooge for cotton, he gets ignored at first, so then he yells "COTTON!" even louder, followed by the other Stooge angrily throwing the cotton in his face.
    Also used in:  SOME MORE OF SAMOA  ·   ALL GUMMED UP

  • I'll do it when I'm ready!
    Moe orders one of the other Stooges to do something, but they bravely yell back "I'll do it when I'm ready!" Moe then asks "Are ya ready?", and then the Stooge meekly says "Yeah, I'm ready..."
    Also used in:  3 DUMB CLUCKS  ·   WE WANT OUR MUMMY  ·   I CAN HARDLY WAIT  ·   WHO DONE IT?  ·   PLANE NUTS  ·   THREE STOOGES IN ORBIT, THE

  • Mallet as anesthetic
    During an operation, the Stooges knock out a patient with a mallet.
    Also used in:  DIZZY DOCTORS  ·   CALLING ALL CURS  ·   ALL THE WORLD'S A STOOGE  ·   GEM OF A JAM, A  ·   HOT ICE  ·   HAVE ROCKET -- WILL TRAVEL

  • Opening broken-through door
    The glass to a door that the Stooges are about to run in or out of is broken. The first two Stooges run through the hole in the door, but the last Stooge foolishly opens the door and walks inside.
    Also used in:  WHAT'S THE MATADOR?  ·   IF A BODY MEETS A BODY

  • They got me!
    After the Stooges destroy some kind of machine that keeps annoying them, the machine cries "They got me!"
    Also used in:  GENTS IN A JAM  ·   PARDON MY BACKFIRE

  • Walking down the wrong side of the hallway
    When the Stooges are walking down a hallway, Curly goes the wrong way at first. Moe stops and whistles to Curly, and Curly walks back over to Moe and Larry.
    Also used in:  DIZZY DOCTORS  ·   CRASH GOES THE HASH


Stooge Trivia   (1)
  • The stooges were cut by flying glass in one the scenes where the glass door slams.
    Source: Moe Howard and The Three Stooges
    Added by MR77100 on 2009-03-25 06:03:57
    Status: Confirmed


Audio Files   (3)

Video File   (Y)


Transcript   (Y)

Transcription by Victim of Circumstance:  

Men in Black
Moe, Larry, Curly
1934

Players: Dr. Graves - Dell Henderson

Hiccuping Nurse - Jeanie Roberts (Shown as
"Nurse")
Doctor - Bud Jamison
Messenger Boy - Bobby Callahan (Shown as
"M.Boy")
Coma Pateint - Little Billy(Shown as
"C.Patient")
D.T. Patient - Billy Gilbert
Whispering Nurse - Ruth Hiatt (Shown as
"W.Nurse")
Anna Conda - Phyllis Crane(Shown as "A.Conda")


Scene 1 (Dr. Graves Office)

Dr. Graves: My dear doctors, it is indeed a pleasure to
welcome you here for the beginning of your
practice. This letter states that in this
group there are three of you who are not overly
bright, but were graduated because you had been
in the senior class too many years. Your
identity I shall keep secret, and will disclose
to know one, on on condition, that you try hard
and forever devote your life to the glorious
cause of duty and humanity.
(Larry, Moe, and Curly appear from behind a
group of doctors.)
All Three: We will!
Larry: Hello Doc, how are ya? Glad to see ya again.
(Moe pulls Larry's hair.)
Moe: Spread out.
Dr.Graves: Do you heir by solemnly swear to devote the rest
of your life to the cause of duty and humanity?
All Three: For duty and humanity!!
(Moe, Larry, and Curly gather in a huddle.)
Dr.Graves: And remember. When you hear your call over the
Loud Speaker, rush immediately to answer, as
seconds mean life!
All Three: Yes sir.
L.Speaker: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
Curly: Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!
(Moe, Larry, and Curly rush out of the office,
slamming the door behind them breaking the
glass.)


Scene 2 (Hospital Corridor)

(Moe, Larry, and Curly go into the store room,
and drive a three-seated bike out and down the
hallway.)
L.Speaker: Dr. Howard report to room 66, Dr. Fine room 72,
Dr. Howard room 83. Room 66, 72, 83.
L.Speaker: 66, 72, 83.
Moe: On track 13, all aboard for Philadelphia,
Chicago, and points west.
L.Speaker: Emergency call, emergency call, 66, 72, 83.
Curly: Calling all cars.
Larry: Calling all cars.
Moe: Calling all cars.
Moe: Calling all cars.
Larry: Calling all cars.
Moe: Put your hand down!
(Larry directing traffic down the hallway.)
Larry: Come on, get goin! Come on there! Calling all cars.
(Larry walks over to the lady in the
wheelchair.)
Larry: Oh a wise guy eh, I gotta good mind to hand you
a ticket. Where's your drivers licence?
(Moe slaps Larry in the head.)
Moe: Spread out! Pull over to the curve you, I wanna
talk to you.
Open your mouth. What's your name?
Lady: Anna Conda.
Moe: Anna Conda what?
A.Conda: No, no, just Anna Conda.
Moe: Anna Conda.
Larry: Anna Conda.
Moe: Anna Conda 95 and a 8.
Larry: Anna Conda 95 and a 8.
A.Conda: That's awfully low doctor.
Moe: Yeah, we otta sell. Sell a hundred Anna Conda at
95 and a 8.
Larry: A hundred Anna Conda sold! Come on get goin.
Moe: All right get goin.
Larry: Break it up!
Moe: Come on, come on, come on.
(Curly rolls over on a stretcher covered in a
bed sheet.)
Curly: Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-
woo-woo, woo-woo-woop-woop-woop-woop.
Moe: Ohhh, cutie pie?
Curly: Yeah.
(Moe slaps Curly.)
Moe: Get off of that carriage.
Curly: NO!
(Larry slaps Curly, then pushes him around.)
Larry: Get off of that carriage. Come o get outta here,
get outta there!
Moe: Take this carriage out.
Larry: I'll take it when I'm ready.
Moe: Are ya ready?
Larry: Yeah, I'm ready.


Scene 3 (Hospital Corridor)


(Scene opens with the repair man just finishing
up on the broken glass)
Nurse: (Laughing) Oh, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor
away? (Laughs)
Moe: Yes, that's true.
Nurse: Well then, why don't the patients eat an apple a
day and save hospital expenses? (Laughs)
Curly: Pardon me if I laugh, Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk,
nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! That's a pippin.
Nurse: Oh, I know what a pippin is.
Larry: Ya do eh? What's a pippin?
Nurse: A pippin is an apple with a skin on the outside.
(Laughs)
Moe: Did you ever see an apple with a skin on the
inside?
Nurse: Oh sure I did.
Larry: You did?...Where?
Nurse: In home made apple pie. (Laughs)
(Moe, Larry and Curly faint.)
L.Speaker: Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
Curly: Woo-woo-woop-woop-woop.
L.Speaker: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard, Dr.
Howard report to room 66, Dr. Fine 72, Dr.
Howard 83. Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard,
report to Dr. Graves office.


Scene 4 (Dr. Graves Office)

Larry: Hello captain, you sent for us?
Dr.Graves: Yes. How'd you find that patient in 66?
Moe: Under the bed.
Dr.Graves: How'd you find the patient in 72?

Larry: Up on the chandelier.
Dr.Graves: What'd you do for him?
Curly: Nuthin, what'd he ever do for us?
Dr.Graves: WHAT ARE YOU WORKING HERE FOR?
All Three: For duty and humanity!
(Moe, Larry, and Curly get in a huddle.)
L.Speaker: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
Curly: Woo-woo-woo-woop-woop.
(Moe, Larry, and Curly rush out of the office
again slamming the door and breaking the glass.)


Scene 5 (Corridor)

(The boys ride a horse down the corridor.)
Moe: Giddy up Julius.
Larry: Giddy up
Curly Giddy up Julius.
L.Speaker: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
Moe: What is it?
L.Speaker: There is a messenger boy down in the lobby to
see you.
Larry: Send him up!
M.Boy: Here I am.
Curly: What service... Give us the message.
M.Boy: Can't, seventy-five cents, collect.
Moe: Who's it from?
M.Boy: It's from a dame by the name of Nelly.
All Three: My girl!
Curly: What does she say?
M.Boy: She says she loves all three, but she'll marry
the one that does the greatest thing for duty
and humanity.
All Three: Thanks.
M.Boy: Hey, how's about my money?
Moe: I'll tell ya, we'll toss for it, pay ya double
or nuthin.
Larry: Yeah, he'll call it cause he's tongue tied.
(Pointing to Curly.)
M.Boy: That'll make it easy.
Larry: Uh........have you got a coin?
M.Boy: Sure.
Larry: That'll really make it easy! What is it, head or
tail?
Curly: Gnug!
M.Boy: What?
Curly: Gnug!
Larry: Is that it?
Curly: Soitenly!
(Larry talking to the messenger boy.)
Larry Oh, then you lose. We`ll split this three ways
fellas.
Moe You tellin me?
Curly: Just a victim of circumstance.


Scene 6 (Coma Patient's Room)

(All three looking at the patient)
Moe: How is she doctor?
Doctor: Slight hope.
Curly: That's to bad. What's the matter?
Doctor: She's in a coma.
(Patient sits up.)
Pateint: I am not, I'm in a bed! (Looks at the boys.)
Gee, the joint is haunted.
Larry: How old are you?
Patient: I'm thirty-five.
Curly: Nah, you couldn't get that fresh in thirty-five
years.
Larry: Lay down. (Pushing her back.)
Moe: Gimme that......that thing there. She can't live
till morning.
Larry: Ba-ba-ba-boo, ba-ba-ba-boo.
(Moe slaps Larry.)
Doctor: Just a minute, just a minute, what do you
gentlemen know about
medicine?
Larry: Why we graduated with the highest temperatures
in our class.
Doctor: Huh!. Some class.
Curly: You said it kid, some class.
(Moe hits Curly in the stomach, and then bonks
him in the head.)
Moe: What are you tryin to do?
Doctor: Why, you don't even know how to deliver a proper
anaesthetic.
Moe: Boys, give the doctor a little anesteisia. Ha ha

ha. (Larry and Curly hit the doctor with their
mallets.)
C.Patient: A winner every time, no blanks! Say doctor, do
ya really think
I'm gonna get better?
Moe: I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid you are.
Patient: Aw thanks doctor, you don't know how I really
appreciate it!
Larry: DOCTOR! Where mighty proud of you, you've done a
wonderful thing for humanity, and when we leave
here, we're goin' right down to the president's
office and.........
Curly: We won't say a word about it!
(Larry bonks Moe in the head with the mallet,
and then Moe slaps Curly in the face and eye
pokes him.)
Moe: What are ya buttin in for?
L.Speaker: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard. Report
to Dr. Graves office. (Curly is looking at a
nurse, when Moe slaps him, then grabs Larry by
the hair.)
Moe: Remember your oath for duty and humanity. Get
goin!


Scene 7 (Dr. Graves Office)

Larry: Right away sir, did you call us?
(Dr.Graves talking on the phone.)
Dr.Graves: Yes, and just another thing... uh.. uh.. hello..
hello.. hello.. HELLO!!
Larry: Hello!!
Dr.Graves: Don't let that body go out of 84 until the bill
is paid.
Larry: I ain`t got nobody!
Dr.Graves: Yes, it's in 84.
(Curly on another phone.)
Curly: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes......lines busy.
Hey there's nobody on your line.
Moe: I know, but I'm expecting a call.
Dr.Graves: Just a minute, go to room 81, there's a
dangerous patient there, and hurry.......hurry!
Moe: Don't get nervous.
Curly: The patient ain`t goin no place.
Dr.Graves: HURRY!!
(Moe, Larry, and Curly once again rush out of
the office slamming the door and breaking the
glass. Theboys go into the store room and drive

out in go-carts.)


Scene 8 (D.T. Patient's Room)

Dt.Patient: That is the momentous question. I once asked
Hamlet, and he made this suggestion; he said go
for a walk, and I met a dog!! Grrrrrrrrrrr-argh,
grrrrrrr-argh,argh.Kweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr,
kwee, kwee, Pssss. Water........WATER!!! (Curly
splashes water on him.) Water.
Larry: Fellas, lets get him some medicine.
Moe: Oh yes. (They start mixing liquids.) Adapontash,
citascram.
Curly: Citascram.
Moe: Forsia.
Larry: Forsia
Moe: Anna-conna-hon.
Curly: Anna-conna-hon.
Moe: Enot.
Larry: Enot.
Curly: Enot.
Larry: That`s it (They pour themselves a glass.) For
duty and humanity!
Dt.patient: RATS!! Ya know, once I was crazy. Ya see that
button hole? Rats yousta come outta that, and as
fast as they`d come out, I`d grab
um throw`em down, and another one would come
out.
Moe: Hey hey, you ain`t, you ain`t well yet.
Dt.pateint: Why?
Moe: Theres another one comin out now.
Dt.pateint: You take it, i`ve got enough of em.
Moe: I`ll be see`in ya.
(Moe walk to the window.)
Dt.pateint: LOOK!! Great big, giant, green canaries.
Moe: Green canaries......huh.
(A green canary lands on Moe`s shoulder, all
three of the others see it.)
Curly: Woop-woop-woo-woo-woo!
Dt.Patient: Ohhhhhhhh-ahhhhhhhhh.
(Moe looks on his shoulder and can see the
canary.)
Moe: Ahhhhh-ahhh-ahh-ah-ahhh-oh....move over you
got company!


Scene 9 (Corridor)

Nurse: Dr. Howard, hiccup, Dr. Fine, hiccup, Dr.

Howard, hiccup!!
Larry: Her shoes are too tight.
Curly: Her colds breakin up.
Nurse: Hiccup!!
Larry: Wait a minute, pitch that an octive higher.
Nurse: HICCUP!
Larry: Ohh-leee-oh-lay!
Nurse: HICCUP!
Larry/Curly:Ohhh-laay!.
Nurse: HICCUP!.
L/M/C: Ohhhh-lay.
Nurse: HICCUP!.
L/M/C: Ohhh-ohhh-leee-oh-lay.
Nurse: HICCUP!.
L/M/C: Ohhh-lay.
Nurse: HICCUP!.
L/M/C: Ohh-a-lady-oh.
Nurse: HICCUP, HICCUP!!
L.Speaker: Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
L/M/C: Hiccup, hiccup.
Nurse: Hiccup, hiccup.


Scene 10 (Dr. Graves Office)

Dr.Graves: Terrible disaster at the oil wells, twenty men
injured. Radium is the only thing that will save
their lives.
Curly: Give us the radium and we`ll get goin.
Dr.Graves: Its locked up in the safe, I cant get it!
Moe: Why not?
Dr.Graves: During the excitement I swallowed the
combonation to the safe,
put a burning cigar in my pocket.
Moe: You got nuthin to worry about.
Dr.Graves: But you don't understand, the combination is in
here. (Pointing to his stomach)
Moe: You still got nuthin to worry about, we'll get

it!
Dr.Graves: How?
Moe: We'll operate!!
Dr.Graves: Me?
Moe: Yeah.
Dr.Graves: You?
Moe: YEAH!
Dr.Graves: NO! ........ NO!
Moe: Boys, give hi the anaesthetic, and see me in the
operating room later, ha ha ha. GIVE!
(Larry and Curly hit Dr. Graves with their
mallets.)
Dr.Graves: Uhhhhhh.........


Scene 11 (Operating Room)

W.Nurse: Everything's ready.
Moe: We'll make an incision like this.
Curly: No, we'll make an insertion like that.
Larry: No, we'll make an excursion like this.
All Three: Tic-tac-toe!
L.Speaker: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
Moe: Shut up.
L.Speaker: SHUT-UP YOURSELF!!!
W.Nurse: Should I give him some more sodium amatol?
Larry: Nah, give`m a Coca-Cola.
Dr.Graves: No, Schnapps. (Curly hits him with his mallet.)
Ohhh.....
W.Nurse: Stop, we might cut him!!!!
Curly: What do ya want me to do, kiss him?
Larry: Wait a minute. Lets plug him, see if he's ripe!
Ha ha ha ha.
(Moe slaps Larry.)
Moe: Lady, why are we all whispering?
W.Nurse: I don't know why your whispering, but I lost my
voice asking for a raise!
Moe: Ahhhhhh-ahhhhhhh-ahhhhhh!!!!
Curly: Woo-woo-woo-woop-woop!!!
(Passing out the tools.)
Moe: Tenen.
Larry: Tenen.
Curly: Tenen.
Moe: Anago.
Larry: Anago.
Curly: Anago.
Moe: Tenna-tuner.
Larry: Tenna-tuner.
Curly: Tenna-tuner.
Moe: Anna-conna-puner.
Larry: Anna-conna-puner.
Curly: Anna-conna-puner.
Moe: ANNA-CONNA-PANAR!!!
Curly: Ohhh....
Larry: Ohhh....
Moe: Shift.
Larry: One.
Curly: Two.
Moe: Three.
Larry: Four.
Moe: Finana.
Larry: Finana.
Moe: Anna-sinic.
Larry: Anna- sinic.
Moe: Cotton.
Larry: Cotton.
Moe: Cotton..............COTTON!! Apid.
Larry: Apid.
Moe: Annic.
Larry: Annic.
Moe: Shift.
Larry: Hike.
Moe: Sceesars.
Larry: Sceesars.
Moe: Cotton.......................COTTON!!
(Curly throws the cotton in Moe's face.)
Larry: Cotton...................COTTON!!!
(Moe throws the cotton in Larry's face.)
Moe: There it is. Ha ha.
Larry: He's got it.
Curly: He's got it.
Larry: Needles.
Moe: Needles.
Curly: Needles.
W.Nurse Needles.
Moe: Scissors.
Curly: Scissors.
W.Nurse: SCISSORS!!!
Moe: Success.
Curly: Success.
Moe: Where are the tool?
Larry: The tools!!
Curly: Tools?
(Dr. Graves gets up, shakes around a little
realizing that the tools are in his stomach.)
L.Speaker: Dr.Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard, are you coming?
Curly: Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!!


Scene 12(Corridor)

L.Speaker: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
Larry: Get it!!!
(They all start beating the machine with their
mallets.)
L.Speaker: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard,Calling
Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard. Calling Dr.
Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
Moe: Ahhhhhhhhhh-hhh
Larry: Ahhhhhhh
L.Speaker: Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard. Dr. Howard,
Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
Moe: Where is that noise coming from?
Curly: Where is it?
Larry: Where can it be?
L.Speaker: Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
Moe: Look, there it is!!
Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
(Moe, Larry and Curly take out their pistols and
shoot it.)
L.Speaker: Ohhhhhh, they got me.
All Three: For duty and humanity!!!!!


The End

Videography   (3)

Fan Reviews   (18)
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2011-03-23 08:17:23 by Theblaze
"Nah, Give em a Coca-Cola!"(knocked out Graves sits up)"No, Schnapps!"(Moe hits him on the head with a mallet)"Ohhh""Calling Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard""(whispering)Shut up""(loudspeaker)Shut up yourself!"One of my favorite shorts!8.7/10
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2010-10-15 20:07:09 by [Deleted Member]
Men in Black feels more like the Marx Brothers "A Day at the Races" than any other Stooge film. None of the humor resembles what the Stooges would later become, it's just an endless stream of surreal gags. Maybe if McCarey had stayed on as director, the Stooges would have gone more into this direction. As it is, it is till a very funny short, and Billy Gilbert's performance is a highlight.
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2010-07-15 12:00:43 by Final Shemp
One of the Stooges most popular shorts, Men in Black is one I've never particularly been impressed with. There's really not much to it. Somebody just found the occupation that the Stooges could do the most damage in and watched the chaos ensue.
Laughs are present ("Will I get better?" "Well I'm truly sorry, but I'm afraid you are."), but most of the short is nutty without bringing a chuckle. A nurse portrayed by Jeannie Roberts is an example. Her squeaky voice and punchline delivery is serviceable for the short, but leave much to be desired. The cases the Stooges run off to are more bizarre than all-out humorous.
Men in Black puts a smile on my face, but I can't say much else about it.
Final Shemp's Final Word: 2 1/2 Pokes

Reviewer's Rating: (6)
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2010-03-30 13:10:55 by Gritto RhumBoogie
A great short, but ever-so-slightly overrated. Lots of classic lines like "Calling, Dr, Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard," "Cotton!" and of course "For duty and humanity!" I give it 3.5 pokes.

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
RE: MEN IN BLACK (1934)
Posted 2004-01-06 22:50:00 by Bud Jamison Fan
Personally, I don't really understand why this short is thought of so highly. Sure, there were some funny moments, but I felt that there was just too many moments where I went, "Huh, is this SUPPOSED to be funny?" instead of laughter. I mean, the whole "apple pie" joke and the guys fainting, and the bits that dragged on and on... I don't know if I'm the type that prefers a set plot with mayhem instead of some mayhem that is just everywhere on the map or what, but I felt this was only worth 2 1/2 pokes, and nothing more.

Reviewer's Rating: (6)
RE: MEN IN BLACK (1934)
Posted 2003-12-05 23:02:00 by CurlyQuuu
Honestly, I'll never understand why this short got an Oscar nod at all? It's not one of their best works (in my opinion), and they had SO many future shorts that were much better in quality, manic mayhem, and plot! But, that's the Oscar folks for ya, go figure?! Anyhow, this had some nice moments, some being mentioned by others here, but nothing that really defined the boy's yet. It's almost as if they weren't really sure as a team which direction they wanted to go. The totally slapstick, the totally absurd, or the totally verbal style of comedy. They were really all over the board on this one.Though much better then anything that came along later from the Shemp, Besser, or DeRita days, which far to often mined the backlog of Curly shorts for "new material", I'd still say this wasn't the boy's best work. Yet.
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2003-08-07 20:49:00 by Pat Stooge
This is the first and only stooge short to be nominated for a oscar,it's humor is really clever instead of slapstick like the Marx Brothers.I like the Nellie gag.It was used 4 years earlier in "Soup To Nuts" but its weird that the ending was cut with Siamese triples and another odd thing is this was the only stooge short that was never shown on the Family Channel.Odd I wonder why despite the fact that Family Channel talked about it so much.The theme is from the previous short "Punch Drunks".

Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2003-07-28 11:28:00 by tburnell
Wasn't this the one that won the Oscar? This one was very funny and fast-paced, but I have to admit, it's not one of my favorites. I did like it a lot, but when I think of Oscar quality, I think they've had others that were better. I was thrown a bit by the part when Moe goes nuts after the nurse tells them that she lost her voice asking for a raise. The reaction seemed overdone, but what ta hey, that's why we love 'em so much!

Reviewer's Rating: (6)
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2000-07-25 03:33:00 by Stooge
Edited 2003-06-20 19:56:00 by Stooge
I don't like this short as much as everybody else. I find it strange how this would be the only short nominated for an Acamemy Award when the boys gave us even better classics later on like "Disorder in the Court", "A Plumbing We Will Go", "Micro-Phonies", and especially "You Nazty Spy!" just to name a few.
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2003-04-05 02:16:00 by SwordOfDamacles
This has to be in anyone's top 10. One of my favorites ever since I first saw it as a little kid. The infamous "cotton!" gag gets better with age. And who does not love a good piece of homemade apple pie? I have never looked at green canaries the same since.

Reviewer's Rating: (10)
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2002-10-31 08:25:00 by garcon
I like this short a lot even though it is a little different stylisticallythan most of the others. I like the zaniness of it. Granted, some of thebits could be considered overly scripted or somewhat canned, but for me thelaugh factor is still very high because the pacing is fast. The supporting cast iswonderful, including Bud Jamison, who we know from so many of the latershorts. The bit with the crazy patient is hilarious: Moe says to the patient"you're still crazy, there's another rat coming out of your button hole."The patient says, "you can have it, I've got plenty." Then a canary fliesinto the window and lands on Moe's shoulder. Larry and Curly quickly exitand Moe jumps into bed with the patient. The madness just keeps onhappening. The entire bit with the boys vs. intercom "Calling Dr. Howard,Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard" which continues through the whole short is a brilliantrunning commentary on the battle between advancing 20th century technologyand the status quo. Our boys finally destroy the intercom, and shoot theoffending talking capacitor with sidearms, ending the threat posed by moderntechnology to all Stooges, wherever they may be. Men In Black is unusual,but surely one of the great Stooge shorts.

Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2002-02-13 03:43:00 by hassan ben sober
One of the Stooges first hits, very deserving of an oscar nomination. Call me crazy but I like the sort of plotless short, it gives the boys a chance to really experiment and let their more crazy sides show.Whats wrong with the short?: Not much except I didnt really get that apple/pippin joke.What was good?: Sooo many classic and funny lines and scenes. I like the madman who sees rats comming out of his shirt "Water, WATER!!" and then "LOOK, a great giant green canary." Moe "haha, green canary" a bird lands on his sholder and everyone runs in fear.A bit of a sinister side of Larry when Curly tries to make it with the intercom lady and Moe pulls him aside. Larry comes in at her verry sinsiter; like he wants to take her and tie her on a railroad track. Then when they go to Dr. Graves office and he is on the phone Larry says "Hellooo" in a chilling voice. And finally when they are operating on Graves, Larry brandishes a knife and says "Lets plug him and see if hes ripe."When they are operating on Graves and the intercom voice calls for them Moe whispers "shutup" and the voice says back "shut up yourself."Finally a great ending scene with the stooges ripping the intercom appart "Where is that voice comming from? Where can it be." then they see the box and shoot it-- voice box "they got me." stooges "for duty and humanity."4.5 out of 5Ive had a few to many myselfYa Basta
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2002-02-12 00:02:00 by Shemp_Diesel
Edited 2002-02-12 00:04:00 by Shemp_Diesel
I guess we'll have to agree to disagree Stooge. I don't think a bit of this is overrated. This short has no pretensions about trying to have a good story, just 17 laugh out loud minutes of nonsense which is what the "Stooges" are all about to me.Water. WATER!!!

Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2002-01-22 12:11:00 by BJR
Another 1934 short where the boys weren't their usual Stooge selves, and hadn't perfected their characters. I'd say that by 1936, they had found the perfect formula, but certainly not in this one.It's funny in its own way, but as a Stooge episode, it leaves a lot to be desired. Moe doesn't dish out nearly enough punishment, for starters. Curly has some good lines, but there's not enough "la da de" singing or "'nyuk'ing."Very odd plot, and certain scenes were boring. The operating scene was funny at times, but again, not very Stooge-like. It went on for too long. The "for duty and humanity" got a little annoying after a while. Curly breaking the glass door about five times was also a little much.The part I did like was the scene with the crazy guy with "rats coming out of the buttons on his shirt." That had me cracking up (for once in the film).I don't see why this one has such a high rating, except for the fact that it was a "classic" 1934 short. Strip away all the originality and the fact that it was one of the boys' first, and you're left with a short that just doesn't deserve to be called "classic."Another one of those darn overrated 1934 shorts!Rating: 4.5/10

Reviewer's Rating: (4)
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2001-08-10 04:33:00 by [Deleted Member]
Compare this film and Will Smith's film by the same name. If you say you prefer the latter, did you get lost on the way to the "Fresh Prince" forum? This is MUCH better than Will Smith's film! We see a glimpse of the future in Stoogery as Dr. Graves tells te roomfull of doctors of three among them who were so terrible in medical school that they just barely squeaked by and Graves wouldn't embarrass them by mentioning their names. Then the Stooges come forward and thank him for it. The same thing happened in a future Stooge film with Shemp, "The Tooth Will Out" at a dentist school. Excellent short that is a bit on the wierd side. But wierd is good! Phylis "Anna Conda" Crane was the only cast member to come back for more Stooge shorts. "O-lee, o-lay-ee, o-lay-ee, o-layee, oh,..."ISLIPP into a coma (I do not, ISLIPP into a bed!) ®2001
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2001-04-12 21:32:00 by B. Bopper
The firt official Stooge short and and its one of the greatest Stooge shorts of all time. Definetly a 4 eye poke short. Everone needs to see this short "For Duty & Humanity!"
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2001-02-19 02:38:00 by Mike Holme
Strange episode, but quite good, this should have been the stooges first effort, getting better all the time! But I can't see why this was a nominee for best short when "Three Little Pigskins" could have been, and "Three Little Pigskins" was a little better.
Re: MEN IN BLACK
Posted 2000-07-02 19:53:00 by Dunrobin
This is probably my favorite Three Stooges episode! I love Larry's performance, especially the scene where he is leering over the nurse at the station, and later when he utters the immortal line, "Let's pluck 'em, and see if he's ripe!"

Reviewer's Rating: (10)

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