Reality TV outdoes itself

BeAStooge · **on:** May 01, 2008, 04:07:37 PM

From Alan Sepinwall's TV column, in the 4/30/08 The Newark Star-Ledger...

Quote

The longer I stay in this job, the harder it gets to tell the jokes from reality. As I was writing this column, I was emailed a press release from G4 Channel proudly announcing the creation of a new game show called HURL!, where,

"... in each episode, five brave contestants attempt to consume the largest quantity of food in a short amount of time and are then subjected to a series of challenges designed to shake them up. The one to hold his or food down the longest claims victory and walks away with a cash prize, the Iron Stomach Award, and more importantly, serious bragging rights."

This is an actual show, coming to your video screens this summer.

'Nuff said.

Giff me dat fill-em! · **Reply #1 on:** May 01, 2008, 06:05:13 PM

Great!!! I got some good names for it ...
Keep the Cookies
Stay Away From Chuck
The Barfless Wonder
My Toenails Are Where They Belong
Upset the UpChuck
To Hurl, or Not to Hurl
The Non-Spewers Club
I'm Not Retched
Non-Regurgitators

JazzBill · **Reply #2 on:** May 01, 2008, 07:00:30 PM

Quote from: BeAStooge on May 01, 2008, 04:07:37 PM

From Alan Sepinwall's TV column, in the 4/30/08 The Newark Star-Ledger...

'Nuff said.

This is a perfect example of why most of what I watch is in B/W, off a DVD or a VCR.

Dunrobin · **Reply #3 on:** May 02, 2008, 07:23:00 AM

Quote from: JazzBill on May 01, 2008, 07:00:30 PM

This is a perfect example of why most of what I watch is in B/W, off a DVD or a VCR.

Same here, although I do like sci-fi like Doctor Who and both Stargate series - and, of course, South Park and Futurama.

Moron4392 · **Reply #4 on:** May 02, 2008, 05:42:45 PM

Dear Sir: (Give-Me-Dat-Fill-Em);

Sir just a short post because I don't want to be a bother. But sir I do have to agree with you and Mr. JazzBill and Mr. Dunrobin that TV now a days especially reality has gone to the dogs. I also stick to the good old black and white 30's and 40's flicks on DVD. Plus sir I would like to post in closing that your names for the show are really awesome and does describe it poifectly.

In closing sorry sir for being a nusiance and pleas sir enjoy the last day of your weekend and may your upcoming week be poifect as well.

Diane Elizabeth Hoekstra
Moron4392

Giff me dat fill-em! · **Reply #5 on:** May 02, 2008, 10:08:47 PM

Dear Madam (Moron4392);
You are quite welcome for the rousing guffaws enjoyed by yourself in response to my scintillatingly witty names for a show about barfing. (I only reserve barfing for way too much gin)

I will leave it to your own ingenious devices to celebrate the weekend ... enjoy!

(PS ... is scintillatingly really a word? ... hhmmm)

Moron4392 · **Reply #6 on:** May 02, 2008, 11:28:00 PM

Dear Sir: (Giff-Me-Dat-Fill-Em):

Sir at the time that I read your post I had just returned from employement which was not a good day at the time and that was what I needed to give me a good laugh. Thank you sir for kind and considerate post and for helping feel welcome here. Even to this day sir I am still a bit nervous about posting here.

In closing sir to your question about the word "SCINTILLATINGLY" yes sir it is a real word which has to deal with school like in dance, arts, room, teacher, and work.

Thank you once again sir and enjoy your Sunday and your week upcoming.

Diane Elizabeth Hoekstra
Moron4392

metaldams · **Reply #7 on:** May 02, 2008, 11:50:29 PM

Quote from: Moron4392 on May 02, 2008, 11:28:00 PM

Even to this day sir I am still a bit nervous about posting here.

Don't be nervous Diane, you're in the club.

Giff me dat fill-em! · **Reply #8 on:** May 03, 2008, 12:51:47 AM

Quote from: metaldams on May 02, 2008, 11:50:29 PM

Don't be nervous Diane, you're in the club.

Here's what metaldams is saying ...
Diane, if you love the boys, (our Stooges) you'll know that we here at 3S.net are a VERY forgiving breed.
PLEASE don't feel nervous about posting here. If you took ANY offense to my post, I was only lightheartedly taking a whack at the way you posted (which is PRISTINE compared to all others) and if that's the way you feel to continue posting, BY ALL MEANS please do so!
Far be it from me to dissuade you from posting in a manner that is comfortable to you.
Perhaps the ONLY arguable criterion we have here at 3S.net is good spelling, and the proper use of the "shift" key, and by all accounts, you pass with flying colors!

Have a lovely and toilet-paper supplied weekend! (don'tya HATE lookin' fer a roll when you just finished?)

Moron4392 · **Reply #9 on:** May 03, 2008, 06:26:37 PM

Dear Sir: (Metaldams):

Sir I just got home from my employment and I just now received your post and sir I just would like to say thank you. From now on sir I will not be as nervous about my postings. Thank you sir for your help. It was much appreciated.

In closing sir may your week upcoming be totaly poifect in everyway.

Diane Elizabeth Hoekstra
Moron4392

Moron4392 · **Reply #10 on:** May 03, 2008, 06:39:26 PM

Dear Sir: (Giff-Me-Dat-Fill-Em):

Sir I just now saw your post after coming home from my employment. Sir I did not take offense at what you said at all. So sir do not feel bad in anyway. Sir I just hope I did not hurt you in anyway, and if I did sir please by all means forgive me. Once again sir thank you for the laugh and yes sir I do hate looking for another roll when I am done.

In closing sir just would like to say you know that I am a Stooges Fanatic. My whole flat is totally done in Stooges.

Please sir in closing have yourself the most wonderful and poifect upcoming week that you can have.

Thank you sir

Diane Elizabeth Hoekstra
Moron4392

Giff me dat fill-em! · **Reply #11 on:** May 04, 2008, 01:44:24 PM

We be cool, Moron ... word to yo mamma.

If possible post a photo or two of your flat!

Here's a pic of my bop-head Stooge dolls. Bop their heads and they say 3 phrases each. If you can time it right, you can get them to talk to each other!

[attachment deleted by admin]

jrvass · **Reply #12 on:** May 05, 2008, 06:38:21 AM

OK fellas,

Just to the N. of Diane is Cohoctah Twp. A guy named Miles lived there. He was the head of MI's KKK.

(I'll bet she didn't know that!)

I knew a lady nicknamed "Rusty". She met Miles grocer who told her when they bought 1000's of hot dogs, they were having a cross-burning. She snuck over there with her car lights off and it scared the crap outta her.

Of course, I've been to downtown Detoilet (Seward & 2nd) and at the Black Christian Nationalists too.

http://archives.econ.utah.edu/archives/marxism/2005w07/msg00162.htm

James

metaldams · **Reply #13 on:** May 05, 2008, 05:54:29 PM

Quote from: jrvass on May 05, 2008, 06:38:21 AM

OK fellas,

Just to the N. of Diane is Cohoctah Twp. A guy named Miles lived there. He was the head of MI's KKK.

(I'll bet she didn't know that!)

I knew a lady nicknamed "Rusty". She met Miles grocer who told her when they bought 1000's of hot dogs, they were having a cross-burning. She snuck over there with her car lights off and it scared the crap outta her.

Of course, I've been to downtown Detoilet (Seward & 2nd) and at the Black Christian Nationalists too.

http://archives.econ.utah.edu/archives/marxism/2005w07/msg00162.htm

James

I live about 20 minutes from the cesspool known as Cecil County Maryland, and the lovely city Rising Sun. I'll link you to a brief paragraph about Rising Sun, and by the way, it's all true.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rising+Sun

jrvass · **Reply #14 on:** May 05, 2008, 06:30:20 PM

My experience with the BCN was driving down the John C. Lodge fwy with 20 cases of paper and my front wheels barely touching the ground.

My cat took a leak in it. My boss was not pleased.

Sgt. Mubuto fondled his "gun" as I worked on their copier. Shit.

James

Moron4392 · **Reply #15 on:** May 05, 2008, 07:01:52 PM

Dear Sir: (Giff Me Dat Fill-Em):

Sir thank you for you kind post and words of encouragement. As soon as I get my full Internet system back I will drop a few photographs. Sir you are one of the ones I can trust would you please help me learn what words are used in this country that I blabber out in Cannuck. Thank you sir and please have yourself a "bloody" good rest of your week.

Diane Elizabeth Hoekstra
Moron4392

In closing sir where did you purchase your Stooges Heads at? Thank you and goodbye for now.

Giff me dat fill-em! · **Reply #16 on:** May 05, 2008, 08:48:46 PM

Honestly, Diane, I would not want you to post any other way. You have carved out a delightful style of posting that is uniquely your own. You probably don't want a Texan advising you on how to speak.
I will do this for you: I will attempt to help you understand the "American" manner of speak by placing in parentheses the meaning of the expression just posted. (see below for an example)

I bought those bop-heads at a local drug store in their toy aisle in the late 90's. Unfortunately for me, I cut the tags off of the bop-heads (to make them easier to stand upright), so I cannot remember which toy company made them. I've wanted another set for a long time. Good luck in finding them. If I can swing it (afford it, or in context, make time for it), I'll record their sayings and post them for you.

Moron4392 · **Reply #17 on:** May 05, 2008, 10:35:36 PM

Dear Sir: (Giff Me Dat Fill-Em):

Sir I just read your post and would like to say thank you and this means alot to me about the way you are feeling wanted here. Please sir may the rest this week of yours be a bloody poifect one and again sir thank you.

Just in a closing post how does it feel to turn the age that you are? I will be hitting it July?

Diane Elizabeth Hoekstra (Your Friend?)
Moron4392

Giff me dat fill-em! · **Reply #18 on:** May 06, 2008, 06:38:42 PM

Moron4392,
Hitting the 50 mark was, in itself, boring. But in the months since then, I do things like this on a constant basis:
Pick up my car keys.
Call a friend to affirm a dinner engagement.
Then, I look for my keys.

(In case you are feeling the fifty, the answer is, they are in my hand.)

I can only look forward to more things that will mark me as the grandpa I am.

yer buddy, (friend, confidant, associate)
Giff (Fred)

Moron4392 · **Reply #19 on:** May 06, 2008, 06:55:14 PM

Dear Sir: (Giff Me Dat Fill-Em):

Sir I just received your post about 10 minutes past and thank you sir for the advice on hitting fifty. So what you are saying that the seniour moments that I am now encountering are totally ok? Yes sir I am feeling the fifty mark. The only good thing I can see about turning fifty is that I will be enjoying the retirement life. Then I can focus more on what I enjoy doing and that is personal computer contract work.

Sir I my closings to you thank you so much for all the cool stuff you have posted to me. Sir greatly appreciate them. Please sir have yourself the best you can for the closing portion of your week and in future reference may your week end upcoming be the best and whatever you want it to be. You mentioned sir that you are a grandfather to how many siblings? Me I have been single all of my days could never fetch the right man.

Your posts of fifty era were wonderful and gave me the encouragment that I need because again employement was a bore today. The youngins' that I work with treat me old.

Your friend

Diane Elizabeth Hoekstra
Moron4392

Giff me dat fill-em! · **Reply #20 on:** May 06, 2008, 07:06:25 PM

Quote from: Moron4392 on May 06, 2008, 06:55:14 PM

You mentioned sir that you are a grandfather to how many siblings? Me I have been single all of my days could never fetch the right man.

Well ... I never considered my brothers and sisters to be my own children, but it would be a great trick! (I'm my own uncle Bob!)

Stay tuned for a word lesson ...
SIBLING - a brother or a sister, one of two or more individuals having at least one common parent

Just to answer your question - I have six grandchildren ... and they are all just like me when I was a kid!! (ow!)

(PS - just for the sake of the other posters/readers here at our beloved website, perhaps we should let this thread die a quiet death. We can communicate by personal messaging for future "rap" sessions.)