This short starts off with a camera close-up of a back alley stage door with an overhead light that reads:   "STAGE ENTRANCE."   and a "BILLINGS SIGN:" that reads as follows:

HAPPY
HOUR
THEATRE

WEEK COMMENCING FRIDAY MAY 23
! ALL AMERICAN WEEK !
FIRST TIME AT POPULAR PRICES

THE ORIGINAL
PAJAYAMA TROUP
!! FEET FEATS !!

ALSO

O'TOOLE-FLANNIGAN & MURPHY
"VENETIAN STREET SINGERS"

SHAPIRO AND SHAPIRO
"ME AND THE MISSUS"

HEELY-HEELY-HEELY & HEELY
"DUCKY ENTERTAINERS"

ADMISSION:    10¢    20¢    &    30¢

Plus on a costume case that belongs to Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe that reads:  "JOE LUNDEEN THEATRE:"

We now hear a commotion inside the back stage door where the stage manager is fighting with Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe.  The stage manager is now in the process of firing them from the act.

TED, LARRY, CURLY, and MOE to the STAGE MANAGER:  (In unison as they are mumbling in mad voices).  "Hey, you can't do that, remember, you can't do that, hey, you can't do that, oh no, you can't do that, remember!"

Moe, Larry, and Curly have now been thrown out of the theatre and into the back alley.  They are lying on their backs in the alley.  A street sweeper is now finishing his sweeping chores and is standing there holding onto his broom with the broom head pointing upwards.

MOE to LARRY and CURLY:  (As Moe is sitting up in the alley and is shaking his head while Larry and Curly are also sitting up and the street sweeper is watching them.  Moe states).  "How do you like that?"

Ted is now in the process of being thrown out of the theatre and into the back alley by the stage manager.

STAGE MANAGER to TED:  (With madness in his eyes and a look of madness and grimace on his face as he is shoving Ted and shouts loudly to Ted).  "Get out in that gutter where you belong!"

Ted is standing in the back alley wearing a business suit, hat, and an overcoat and he is holding a cane.  Ted looking at the stage manager with a mad look on his face and has madness and hurt in his voice while Larry, Curly, and Moe are still sitting in the alley.

TED to the STAGE MANAGER:  (With a hurtful look on his face and taking a few paces forward, using his cane and trying to show a little bit of pride says).  "I'll go out in the gutter, but I don't belong!"

STAGE MANAGER to TED:  (Still showing madness in his voice and a mad look on his face and is shouting loudly at Ted as he is returning back into the theatre and closing the door).  "Yeah!"

Ted is now looking at Larry, Curly, and Moe who are still sitting in the back alley Ted has a perplexed look on his face and The Stooges have mad looks on their face.  Ted is still holding onto his cane.

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (The street sweeper has now left.  The Stooges are still sitting in the alley with looks of hurt and dismay on their faces.  Ted is standing in front of them with a look of dismay on his face and madness in his voice as he is waving his cane to and fro saying).  "You know, they can't throw us fellas out, those days are over!"

The stage manager has now returned and is throwing another one of their costume cases out of the door at Ted.  Ted has now raised his arms to void being hit with the case.  Curly, Moe, and Larry are now getting up and standing by Ted's side.

TED to the STAGE MANAGER:  (Waving his cane as he is looking at the stage manager with a mad look on his face as the stage manager is looking at Ted with a grimace and mad look on his face.  Ted states).  "Wait a second here, wait a second, we're old time actors here, wait a second here!"

TED to the STAGE MANAGER:  (As he is giving Moe, Curly, and Larry a quick glance.  Ted is now turning around and looking at the stage manager, holding his cane in front of him states).  "I don't know if you know this or not, but this name 'HEELY-HEELY-HELLY & HEELY,' (Ted is now pointing at their names on the billings sign with his cane and a look of hurt on his face and in his voice as he is being shoved for the second time by the stage manager), is known from coast to coast!"

Ted is still holding his cane and he is being shoved by the stage manager for the third time as Moe, Larry, and Curly are standing behind Ted with their arms raised and hurtful and mad looks on their faces.

TED to the STAGE MANAGER:  (As he is turning around and holding up his cane and looking at the stage manager with a look of wonderment on his face and is saying in a low, hurtful, and slightly pleading tone of voice).  "Wait a second please.  Listen, don't be ignorant, this name 'HEELY-HEELY-HEELY & HEELY' should be up here and those 'PAJAYAMA', should be......"

Ted is now once again pointing to the billings sign with his cane showing the mad and irate stage manager which order the names should be in.  Stating that his act should be number one instead of last place.

TED to the STAGE MANAGER:  (As Ted is approaching the stage manager with a look of madness on his face and is waving his cane is shouting loudly to the stage manager just after Ted has now been shoved by the stage manager for the fourth time).  "Hey, listen, will you stop that nonsense!"

STAGE MANAGER to TED:  (With his hands on his waist, madness in his voice and a look of grimace on his face as he shouts loudly to Ted).  "Now you, keep on poppin' off, and I'm gonna smack you in the kisser!"

TED to the STAGE MANAGER:  (Still standing in the back alley and is looking at the stage manager with a mad look on his face and waving his cane to and fro and is shouting loudly to the stage manager in an irate voice).  "I can't hear ya!"

STAGE MANAGER to TED:  (With a thorough look of madness on his face and supporting a mad and irate voice with one hand on his waist and the other hand is balled up in a fist and he is gently hitting Ted with it as he is shouting loudly to Ted).  "I'll smack you in the kisser!"

TED to the STAGE MANAGER:  (Still holding his cane and with a mad look on his face and states in an irate voice tone).  "You can't bluff me!"

The stage manager is still standing in the doorway of the theatre with his arms by his side and madness in voice and on his face.

Ted is now turning around and looking at Curly.  Curly is looking at Ted with a look of wonderment on his face as he has his arms raised.  Ted is now still holding his cane and has a mad look on his face as he pulls Curly by the suit lapel to the stage manager.  Moe is standing there with his hands in fists and a look of question on his face.  Larry is also standing there, (but he is off camera).

TED to CURLY:  (As he is pulling Curly up to the stage manager by the suit lapel with a mad look on his face.  Ted states).  "Hey, Curly, give him a few words!"

Curly is now approaching the stage manager with his hands balled up in fists and a mad look on his face.  Moe is still standing there with a look of dismay on his face.

CURLY to the STAGE MANAGER:  (With his hands in fists and a mad look on his face as he is saying to the stage manager in a low, monotone voice)>  "You can't do that to us!"

The stage manager who is beyond mad at them takes his hand and pushes Curly backwards on his forehead.  Curly now falls backwards and is being caught by Ted and Moe who are helping Curly bounce forward and back on his feet.

STAGE MANAGER to CURLY:  (With his hands on his waist, madness in his voice and a grimace look on his face and is shouting to Curly).  "I can't what?"

CURLY to the STAGE MANAGER:  (Curly is now approaching him for the second time, with his hands in fists, and stomping his feet in madness and is shouting at the stage manager).  "You can't do that......"

Curly is now being shoved by the stage manager for the third time the stage manager is thoroughly mad at Curly as Curly falling backwards again and is being helped up by Ted and Moe.

TED to the STAGE MANAGER:  (After he has helped Curly up for the third time and is approaching the stage manager, waving his cane at him and is in a furious mood and is shouting loudly at the stage manager).  "You bet your life, you bet your life, you can't do that to us!"

Ted is now turning around and looking at Curly after Moe has helped him up.  Ted has a look of dismay on his face, puts his hand on Curly's shoulder and still hold his cane.

TED to CURLY:  (Ted has his hand on Curly's shoulder and dismay on his face saying in reference to the stage manager).  "Listen Curly, when he throws a punch, don't forget to duck!"

Ted is looking at Curly with a mad look on his face and smacks Curly on the forehead and makes him loose his balance.  Moe is standing behind Curly catching him as Moe is looking at Larry, (who is off camera), with a total look of hurt on his face.

CURLY to TED:  (As he is regaining his balance and has his arms raised and a look of wonderment on his face and says in a quiet and questionable voice).  "What?"

TED to CURLY:  (Waving his finger to and fro, pointing at Curly first and then himself with a mad look on his face and saying to him in a voice that states don't you understand what I am saying?).  "I said, when he throws a punch, don't forget to duck!"

After Ted has now hit Curly on the forehead for the thrid time Curly once again looses his balance and is being helped up by Moe.  Ted is now being grabbed hard by the stage manager and is being thrown backwards himself.  Moe and Curly are now running away dow the street into another alley.  The stage manager has now returned into the theatre and has slammed the door behind him and in Ted's face.

TED to the STAGE MANAGER:  (Wit a look of hurt and dismay on his face and holding his cane states).  "Hee-hee, I forgot to duck!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED:

Ted is now sitting on their costume case with his left hand in a fist on his thigh and his right hand is holding his cane as he is looking madly at the stage door.

With Ted still sitting on his costume case, the stage manager has now come out with a paint brush and a paint pail with black paint in it.  The stage manager is now painting their names off of the billings sign.

After the stage manager has blackened out their names off of the billings sign, and has given Ted a mad look for the last time.  Ted is sitting on his costume case and watching in sad state.  Ted gets up off of the costume case and is sadly and slowly approaching the stage manager, with one last feeble attempt to get back into the act.

TED to the STAGE MANAGER:  (The stage manager is now going back into the theatre.  Ted is holding his cane at his right side and supporting a hurtful look on his face saying to the stage manager, as the stage manager is standing in the doorway of the theatre still holding onto his paint pail and brush with a thorough look of disgust on his face.  Ted is pointing his cane at the stage manager and is stating sadly).  "Let me tell you on thing young fella, listen here, you've thrown us out of the theatre and into the gutter, and you hit me on the head, now you cross our names off the board, I'm warning you now, I'm warning you, don't go too far!"

STAGE MANAGER to TED:  (Still standing in the doorway holding his pain pail and brush with a really mad and disgusted look on his face, squinting his eyes in madness and is raingin his fist at Ted shouts loudly).  "So, what!"

TED to the IRATE STAGE MANAGER:  (With a mad look on his face and a hurtful tone of voice and waving his cane).  "We quit!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LARRY, CURLY, AND MOE:

Larry, Curly, and Moe are sitting on their costume case.  Ted is standing up in a corner by the stage door.

Larry is sitting on the costume case with his arms folded and a sad and hurtful look on his face as he is looking downwards at the street in utter sadness.  Moe is sitting on the costume case with one hand on his chin and the other on his thigh with a look of dismay on his face.  Curly is also sitting on the costume case with both of his hands on his thighs and is looking at Ted with a distraught look on his face.  Ted has now approached Moe, Larry, and Curly with his cane hooked onto his folded arm and a look of glee on his face.

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY:  (With a forced look of happiness on his face as he is looking at his arm with the cane on it and laughs hurtfully).  "Ha-ha, I guess I told him a thing or two!"

Curly has now gotten off of the costume case and has waved a hand at Ted in total madness and is giving Ted a really hurtful and nasty look.  Moe has now stood up off of the costume case as well and so has Larry.

MOE to TED:  (As Moe is standing in front of Ted.  Moe has one hand by his side and is pointing at Ted with a finger from the other hand and has a mad look on his face.  Ted is standing in front of Moe holding onto his cane and giving Moe a warried look.  Moe is shouting to Ted in utter and sheer madness).  "Let me tell you a thing or two, if it hadn't been for you, we wouldn't be thrown out of these theatres, always foolin' around with the girls instead of rehearsin' the act!

Larry is now standing up with his hands on his wait and a mad look on his face at Ted.  While Moe is giving Ted a mad look and Curly is standing behind Ted listening to Moe and Larry with his hands folded and a sheepish look on his face.

LARRY to TED:  (With his hands on his waist and madness in his voice as Ted is standing there looking at Larry and holding his cane and supporting a look of hurt on his face.  Larry is shouting at Ted in a gruff voice).  "Yeah, I heard ya, tell that girl you were gonna put her name in electric lights!"

Larry, Moe, and Curly are now standing by Ted.  Larry is glaring at Ted with a really mad look on his face.  Moe is giving Ted a mad and nasty look, while Curly is standing there with his arms folded and giving Ted a look of grimace.

TED to LARRY:  (As he is looking at Larry with mischievous look and holding onto his cane says in a voice of dismay).  "Is that what I said?"

LARRY to TED:  (With a mean look on his face and is shouting at Ted in a gruff voice).  "Yeah!"

All the while that Larry and Ted are talking, Moe and Curly are standing there with looks of dismay on their faces.  Moe has his hands by his side and Curly is holding his hands.

TED to LARRY:  (Patting Larry on the shoulder and using an apologetic voice and waving his hands in explination says slightly smiling).  "you know, I was thinking of something else.  Let me tell you, from now on, I am serious, no more girls, strickly business!"

LARRY to TED:  (With a look of wonderment on his face and is pointing a finger at Ted and says to Ted in a questionable voice).  "You mean, that?"

TED to LARRY:  (Pointing at him with a finger and look of trust me on his face and says in a gruff voice).  "If I am lying, I hope you drop dead!"

Larry, Curly, Moe, and Ted are still standing in the back alley when a pretty lady, (named Bonny La Tour), walks up to them and is looking around for where she wants to go.  She has now noticed where she wants to go and is walking in that direction.  Ted is giving her a friendly look as he is straightening his hat and smiling gleefully.  Larry, Curly, and Moe are giving Ted dirty looks.

TED to LARRY:  (As Bonny is walking away and Ted is putting his cane on his arm in a dignified manner says to Larry as he goes after her in a total state of happiness and mischief).  "Hee-hee, you haven't got long to live, son!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON BONNY AND ANOTHER LADY:

The other lady who is in the background is walking out of the "Cut Rate Drug Store."  Whle Bonny is crossing the street to her destination.

Ted has now ran and caught up with Bonny.  Ted is grabbing her by the arm and almost knocks her down and they are stepping over a curb to get onto the sidewalk.

TED to BONNY:  (As he grabs hold of her arm gently, and is holding his cane and says in a happy voice).  "Hey, you know, you're a beautiful creature, how ah, how would you like your name in electric lights?"

BONNY to TED:  (As she is giving Ted a smile and looking at him in a happy mood and states gleefully).  "I'd like it!"

TED to BONNY:  (Laughing and holding her arm and his cane states).  "So would I!"

As Ted is flirting with her, Larry, Curly, and Moe have caught up with Ted and are following behind him.

BONNY to TED:  (With a look of question on her face and in a questionable voice asks).  "Are you in show business?"

Ted then nods his head in an affirmative manner.  Larry is following behind Ted as with Moe and Curly.

LARRY:  (In response to Bonny's question about Ted being in show business states).  "He was!"

Ted then turns around and gives Larry a quick smack on his face to shut him up.

TED to BONNY:  (Holding onto her arm and a serious look on his face and still holding his cane asks).  "Did you ever hear of, Garbo and Harlow?"

MOE to TED:  (Cutting in on Ted's conversation with Bonny.  As Ted and Bonny are giving Moe looks of dismay).  "Did you ever hear of a bowl of soup?"

CURLY to TED:  (In response to Moe's question as he is giving Ted a look of dismay and is pointing a finger at him and states).  "Yeah, when do we eat?"

TED to BONNY:  (As he is laughing and holding onto her arm and his cane).  "Ha-ha, they're so mundane!"

BONNY to TED:  (Looking at him in a questionable state and asks about the criticism to The Stooges).  "What's that?"

TED to BONNY:  (Laughing and smiling at her, with Larry, Curly, and Moe still following behind states to her).  "Lady, I can't help it if I'm just naturally hereditary, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

The maitre-dee of a swanky restaurant has just now hung a sign on the front door that reads:  "WAITER WANTED:"

Ted, Curly, Moe, and Larry give each other quick glances of amazement as well as Bonny as they are rushing to the door to grab a hold of the sign and to apply for the position.

TED:  (As he pushes Bonny aside and is racing Curly, Larry, and Moe for the sign says).  "Look out!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON BONNY:

Ted, Moe, Larry, and Curly have now grabbed the sign and are rushing into the restaurant to apply for the position.  Bonny has now been knocked down onto the sidewalk on her backside and she is holding onto her hate and has a look of hurt and madness on her face.

Larry, Curly, Moe, and Ted are now running into the restaurant that is being cleaned for supper time and they slip and fall on their backsides on a very wet and soapy floor that is in the process of being mopped.  As they are sliding in, they knock over two sets of chairs and tables.

MAITRE-DEE to CURLY, TED, LARRY, and MOE:  (As he shrugs his shoulders and looks at them madly and says in a French accent, as he is looking at Ted and states in a questionable voice).  "Say, what's going up here?"

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (As he is still sitting on the soapy floor along with Larry, Curly, and Moe.  Ted now has happiness in his eyes and mischief in his voice as he is waving his cane at him).  "We just dropped in to say hello, we sort flew in.  Ah-ah, we were standing outside and ah......"

Ted, Moe, Larry, and Curly are now standing up and talking with the maitre-dee.

Bonny is now entering the restaurant and she is also slipping on the soapy floor.  She is caught by both Ted and the maitre-dee, as she accidentally knocks Curly over, and Curly is sliding and Moe helps him up.

MAITRE-DEE to BONNY:  (As she is slipping on the soapy floor and is being supported by Moe, Larry, and Ted and the maitre-dee.  She has now accidentally knocked down Curly two more times.  Maitre-dee to Bonny in a very apologetic voice).  "Oh, mademoiselle, oh, mademoiselle, oh,oh, mademoiselle, excuse me, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!"

MAITRE-DEE to BONNY:  (As he is giving her a very apologetic look and kisses her hand in apology states).  "The mosta beautiful gown is in your dressing room, beautiful indeed!"

BONNY to TED:  (With hier hands on her waist and giving Ted a mad look and says in an irate tone of voice as she straightens her hat and turns to go to her dressing room with her hands on her waist, and is marching away).  "And you, and your name in electric lights, ha-ha-ha!"

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (Now standing up and is pointing his thumb in the direction of Bonny.  Ted has a look of quesion on his face and a questionable tone of voice.  Larry, Curly, and Moe are also standing there looking at the maitre-dee awestricken as Ted asks).  "Who is that?"

The maitre-dee is now turning around and looking at Ted with glee in his voice and a look of glee on his face.

MAITRE-DEE to TED:  (As he looks at Ted in joy and raises his hand in pride states).  "Oh, she's our biggest star!"

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (Holding his cane and has a worried look on his face and worry in his eyes and is slightly laughing states).  "Shew------ biggest star, oh-oh the biggest star. you got a good star I guarantee you that!"

All the while that Ted and the maitre-dee are talking about Bonny, Curly, Larry, and Moe are standing behind Ted with scared and dismay looks on their faces.

The maitre-dee has just now relaized that Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe are the dudes that came crashing into the restaurant and messing it up.

MAITRE-DEE to TED, LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (As he is waving his hands in madness and has a mad look on his face and is pointing at them shouts).  "Wait, you, and you, and you, and you!"

As the maitre-dee is shouting at Ted.  Ted is giving the maitre-dee a mad look and Moe, Larry, and Curly are baking up in fear.

Ted now turns to Larry with a look of wonder on his face as he takes the "WAITER WANTED:" sign from Larry.

TED to LARRY:  (As he takes the sign says).  "Wait a minute, wait a minute, give me that, give me that!"

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (As the maitre-dee is standing in front of Ted with a perplexed look on his face and Ted has a happy look on his face as he shows the maitre-dee the "WAITER WANTED" sign states).  "You know your troubles are all over, you don't need this any more, (Ted returns back the sign).  Ha-ha-ha-ha, are you a lucky man, (Ted then pats the maitre-dee on the back), I suppose, ah, we're hired?"  (Moe is standing behind both of them with a look of hopeful glee on his face).

MAITRE-DEE to TED:  (With a mad look on his face and waving his hands in madness shouts loudly in a questionable voice).  "Hired!?"

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (As the maitre-dee is looking at Ted with madness in his eyes and a grimace look on his face.  Ted i looking back at the maitre-dee as he is standing proudly and is promoting himself and Larry, Curly, and Moe with pride states).  "What do we want?, we're four waiters, and we're four of the greatest entertainers that ever his a café floor!" " I'll give you a sample!" 

Ted then clicks his heels together while Moe, Curly, and Larry are standing behind Ted watching Ted in wonderment.

Ted and The Stooges are now giving the maitre-dee a sample of their work as Ted is holding onto his cane and is singing along with Curly, Larry and Moe singing.
TED:  (As he slides forward and doing a soft shoe dance sings).  "Ba - boom - boom - boom - boom!"
CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (In three part harmony and slightly off key).  "Oh, you'll never know!"

The maitre-dee now interrupts their singing act shouting and waving his hands in total madness.

MAITRE-DEE to TED, CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (In a furious state of madness states).  "Oh, that is, that is bad!"

As the maitre-dee is shouting and waving his hands in a total stated of furry and madness, Ted is still down on his knee from his soft shoe dance while Larry, Curly, and Moe are backing away from him in fear.

MAITRE-DEE to TED:  (As he is calming down a tad, gently pats Ted on the shoulder, cocks his head, and bats his eyes and has a perplexed look on his face asks in question).  "Can you take orders?"

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (With a look of joy on his face and glee in his eyes as he is holding his cane and replies back to the maitre-dee with question in his voice states).  "Can we take orders, certainly we can take orders!"

MAITRE-DEE to TED:  (Pointing his finger into the air and says in an irate tone of voice).  "Well, go on and jump in the lake!"

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (As Ted is looking at the maitre-dee with a mad look on his face and is pointing his thumb backwards states).  "All right boys, go ahead, jump in the lake!"

Larry, Curly, and Moe are now leaving in a total state of glee and smiles on their faces and happiness in their voices as they are skipping away.

MOE, CURLY, and LARRY, to TED:  (In reference to his order as they are skipping away happily).  "Okay, okay, okay!"

Curly, Moe, and Larry are now leaving to go and jump in the lake.

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (As he is waving his hands and his cane and has a happy look on his face and is patting the maitre-dee on the shoulder in a friendly manner states).  "You know, I ah, I ah, use to do solo work.  In fact, I do solo work.  The average person sings from here, (Ted points to his chest), but I sing from here."  (Ted then points to his head).

Larry, Curly, and Moe have now returned and are dripping wet.

LARRY to TED:  (With a very wet Moe and Curly by his side and Larry says proudly).  "Here we are!"

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (Looking at them with a perplexed look on his face and asks in question).  "Where, did you go?"

MOE to TED:  (With a very wet Larry and Curly by his side is waving his hands and with a happy look on his face states).  "We jumped in the lake!"

CURLY to TED:  (Wit a wet Moe and Larry by his side waving his hands in wonder and has a look of dismay says as he snaps his fingers says).  "We took your order!"

MAITRE-DEE to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (Pointing his finger at them and is slapping is thighs and is laughing hysterically states).  "You took my order!"

Now Ted is holding onto his hat.  Moe and Curly are bent over and Larry with his hands on his waist and looking at the floor, are now also laughing hysterically along with the maitre-dee.

MAITRE-DEE to TED, CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (Waving the help wanted sign and says in a happy voice).  "You are hired!"

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (With a look of glee on his face saying in happiness and with question in his voice).  "We're hired?"

Larry, Moe, and Curly, (Curly has his hand on Moe's shoulder), are standing behind Ted with looks of amazement on their faces and glee in their eyes.

MAITRE-DEE:  (With a professional look on his face states).  "Yes, go on, get with it, get in costume, and be back at six o'clock ready to work! get busy!

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (As all of them are excited about getting their new positions, they once again fall on the soapy floor on their way out. Ted states).  "Come on boys, let's get going!"

CAMERA FIRST ON A CLOCK THAT IS CHIMING SIX BELLS:

CAMERA SECONDLY ON A GENTLEMAN THAT IS DRINKING A BEER:

We are now inside the swanky restaurant where Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe are working?

Guests are happily waltzing to "The Blue Danube Waltz."

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE MAITRE-DEE:

He is firstly enjoying the music as he is standing in front of his office door.  He then turns into a state of panic with a horrified look on his face and clutching his fists over his head madly as he is rushing into the kitchen, when he has heard several trays of dishes being dropped by Ted, Curly, Moe, and Larry.  He has now walked past the bar where the barkeep's are looking at him i a state of worry.

The maitre-dee has now entered the kitchen, waving his hands in a total state of madness.  Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe are standing there with horrified looks on their faces as the maitre-dee walks in.  Curly is standing behind a bussboy cart with an empty tray and a horrified look on his face.  Moe is standing in front of the bussboy cart holding an empty tray with a horrified look on his face also.  Ted is standing next to Moe with his hands by his side and a dumbfounded look on his face.  Larry is crouching behind a bussboy cart with a scared look on his face.

MAITRE-DEE to TED, LARRY, MOE, and CURLY:  (Waving his hands and shouting at them in a thorough state of madness and panic in his voice shouts). "What?"

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (Still standing in front of the bussboy cart and a mischievous look on his face states, slightly smiling).  "The place has mice!"

Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe are now grabbing some more serving trays of food as they are rushing madl out of the kitchen and into the main dining area to make a new start.  The maitre-dee is still standing horrified in the kitchen amongt the damages.

Curly, Moe, Larry, and Ted are now out in the dining area with their trays in their hands.

CURLY to TED:  (With a look of question on his face as he points to his tray asks).  "Who belongs to this?"

TED to CURLY:  (Supporting his tray and has a perplexed look on his face says in a worried voice).  "I don't know, I don't know!"

LARRY to TED:  (Extending a hand sideways in a questionable gesture says with a questionable look on his face states).  "What are you gonna do with it?"

TED to CURLY, MOE, and LARRY:  (As he is pointing a finger in a circle and has a mundane look on his face states).  "The thing to do is to take it and divide it up equally!"

MOE to TED:  (Still supporting his tray and is giving Ted a happy and mischievous look and waving his hand in glee says).  "We're, only stallin' around for somethin' to eat, ain't we?"

TED to MOE:  (Holding his tray says in a happy voice and glee in his eyes).  "Certainly, ha - ha - ha!"

The maitre-dee has now exited out of the kitchen, with a mad look on his face as he has overheard what Curly, Ted, Moe, and Larry have said.

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (As Ted gives the maitre-dee a salute and has a perplexed look on his face states).  "Hiya, chief!"

Ted is now standing in front of Curly, Larry, and Moe who are still holding their trays and Ted is covering up for them as the maitre-dee is still standing there with a really mad look on his face and waving his hands at them furiously.

TED to CURLY:  (As the maitre-dee is looking at them with a really mad look on his face and glare in his eyes.  Ted then slaps Curly on the face to try and cove up what they were talking about to make good with the maitre-dee.  As Ted, Curly, Moe, and Larry are still supporting their food trays.  Ted states to Curly).  "And don't talk back to the head waiter, you hear me don't you son.  Don't talk back to the head waiter, and the customers are always right!  There's an old, old saying!  Heavy, heavy, what hangs over thy head!"

TED to LARRY, MOE, and CURLY:  (As he bonks Curly on the forehead and states to all of them).  "Back to the post boys.  Hurry up now, into it.  Hurry up now!"

Moe, Curly, and Larry are now running in all directions with their trays with looks of dismay on their faces as they try to get the food served.

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (Holding his tray and with a happy look on his face states).  "Hiya, you know this is the first time I ever carried a tray.  I use to be a head man, a head ma, just like you.  Only, I was a tall, dark, thin fella with a mustache.  You know I worked in 'Delmonicos,' ha - ha, I worked in 'Sherries,' I worked in 'Bacardi Rums,' I worked in 'Gins,' and all ha - ha.  Here I go, with another load!"

All the while that Ted was talking to the very well mad maitre-dee there was a young couple and a friend sitting at a table in front of Ted and the maitre-dee, she was eating a plate of appetizers and the two young getlemen were drinking beers and they were engaged in a conversation.

Ted is now walking away from the maitre-dee with his tray of food.  The maitre-dee is following Ted closely.

Ted is now approaching a table of four guests.

TED to GENTLEMEN, (One):  (Ted is now approaching a male guest who is smoking a stogie with a look of happiness on his face states).  "Did you order roast beef?"

MALE GUEST, (One) to TED:  (In a very polite and low tone of voice responds back to Ted).  "No, thank you!"

TED to a LADY CUSTOMER, (One):  (At the same table of four guests asks her in a questionable manner).  "Hey, lady, did you order roast beef?"

LADY CUSTOMER, (One) to TED:  (As she gives Ted a strean look and then looks away says).  "No, I did not!"

Ted is now looking at the maitre-dee with a perplexed look on his face as the maitre-dee is standing by Ted with his hands on his waist and a furious look of madness on his face.

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (Ted has look of wonderment on his face and question in his voice, as the maitre-dee is following Ted in a total state of madness states).  "They didn't order roast beef, ha - ha, you didn't order it by any chance?  No, I guess you didn't order roast beef!"

The now furiously mad maitre-dee is now leaving Ted and Ted is approaching a husband and wife who are drinking beers.

TED to GENTLEMAN, (Two):  (Ted is looking at him with a polite look on his face and a question in his voice as he asks him).  "Did you order roast beef?"

GENTLEMAN, (Two) to Ted:  (As he gives Ted a quick glance of madness and is smoking a cigarette and says in a low tone of voice).  "No!"

TED to GENTLEMAN, (Two):  (With a look of dismay on his face and a bit of madness in his voice states).  "Well, don't jump to conclusions!"

TED to LADY CUSTOMER, (Two):  (Really wondering who has ordered the roast beef by now gives her a look of wonder and asks in a questionable voice).  "Lady, did ya, you order roast beef?"

LADY CUSTOMER, (Two) to TED:  (She gives Ted a quick glance of puzzlement and responds back to Ted in a slightly mad tone of voice as she returns back to her conversation with her husband).  "No!"

TED:  (With a look of amazement on his face as he is still holding his tray says to the second table of guests in general discussion in a questionable manner)."Well, somebody's gotta get this roast beef!"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE BAND LEADER:

BAND LEADER to the GUESTS:  (In a happy voice says).  "Ladies and gentlemen!"

TED to the ENTIRE RESTAURANT:  (Ted has now run onto the middle of the restaurant which is now the performance stage holding his tray and with a dismay look on his face shouts).  "Did anybody order roast beef?"

Larry, Curly, and Moe are now entering the performance stage of the restaurant and up to Ted with looks of wonder on their faces about where their trays of food belonged!

CURL, LARRY, and MOE, to TED:  (Saying in unison with their trays of food states).  "I can't seem to find anyone that will take it!"

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (As he lifts off the cover of his plate says).  "I can't find anyone either.  Come on back here, I'll show ya, see right here!"

Ted and Larry, Curly, and Moe are now taking their trays to an empty table and are setting them down to eat the food themselves.

TED, LARRY, CURLY, AND MOE ARE NOW SITTING DOWN TO DINE:

CURLY:  (Uncovers his plate and then reaches over to take Moe's bread slice).
MOE:  (As Curly is taking his bread slice hits Curly in the head with a celery stalk and gives him an eyepoke).
LARRY:  (With a mad look on his face says in madness as he throws his bread at Curly).  "Who put this bread in here?"
TED:  (Is sitting there and enjoying his meal).

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY:  (In reference to them having their food fight.  With a look of dismay on his face and is talking in a polite tone of voice states).  "Boys, listen to me please, you know this is a high class place.  This is where the real society people are.  The real high class.  The four hundred!"

As Larry, Moe, and Curly are listening attentively at Ted, Curly then lets out two really large and loud belches.

TED to CURLY:  (As he shakes his head in disappointment and gives a slight laugh states).  "Junior, will watch your P's and Q's, please?"

As Curly lets out his belches, Larry is looking at him with a dumbfounded look on his face and Moe is looking at him in a total state of awe.

TED to CURLY:  (As he picks up a piece of Curly's roast beef and throws it at him states madly).  "What, are you startin' here anyways?"

Moe, Curly, Larry, and Ted are now enjoying their meals.  The band leader is now back on the stage and is making his announcement!

BAND LEADER to the GUESTS:  "Ladies and gentlemen, introducing, Mademoiselle Bonny La Tour!"

As Mrs. La Tour is coming onto the stage, the guests are giving her a big round of applause as she is sliding onto the stage holding onto her hat.

BONNY LA TOUR'S SONG ROUTINE:

(As "Bonny", and "The Three Ambassadors", (barkeeps), are doing their song routine, Bonny is doing a wild and fast paced soft shoe dance routine).

The song routine starts off where the band is tapping four beer kegs to sound like the scales.  "D - Re - Mi - Fa!"

BONNY SONG:
"Tap, tap, tap, on the little old keg all, why it's Spring and that golden rule, and it's singing a song to you, yes sir!  Tap, tap, tap, on that little old keg all, won't you hear me.  Why, everything is fine, when you're looking threw foam, in sign.  Oh sign, on the table, yes sir!, bring good friends together, rock.  This is a merry, merry, ah a, merry, merry world tonight.  Gotta sing and you're able to lock a heart like a feather, and everything's gonna be, everything's gonna be all right.  Why, this old world is quiet a place to live in, yes sir!  You gotta put that smile right on your face, and give in, yes sir!  Hands on the table, good friends together, and everything's all right, gonna be all right."

WE ARE NOW LISTENING TO "THE THREE AMBASSADORS:"

They are happily mixing their drinks and pouring suds as the maitre-dee is sitting at the bar and enjoying the music along with other guests.

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:

"Signs on the table, good friends together, this is a merry, merry, world tonight!"

BONNY:  (Now inserts one line).
"A merry, merry world."

Bonny is now still doing her soft shoe dance while "The Three Ambassadors" are singing in the background.

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (Still happily mixing drinks and pouring suds for customers).
"Sing while you're able, hearts like a feather, sing because everything's gonna be all right!"

TED, LARRY, CURLY, AND MOE:

Ted and Moe, Larry, and Curly are sitting at their table enjoying the entertainment in a happy mood.  Smiling and enjoying the entertainment.  Curly is lounging back enjoying a stogie.  Ted is relaxing and smoking a cigarette.  Larry is sitting back and swaying to and fro to the music and smoking a stogie.  Moe is sitting there, smiling happily, with one hand in his pocket and the other one is holding a stogie.  Moe is waving his stogie to and fro to the music, with a really happy look on his face.

TED to LARRY:  (As he is sitting at table with a really happy look on his face and is enjoying the entertainment with a stogie states).  "I wonder what the poor people are doing tonigh?"

LARRY to TED:  (Sitting at the table in a really happy mood, smiling, as he is waving his head and his hand with a stogie in it to and fro to the tempo of music, smiling happily states).  "My mother, wanted me to be a plumber!"

BONNY:  (Singing one line).
"Gonna be all right."

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (Singing and happily mixing their drinks and serving suds).
"This old world's quiet a place to live in, put a smile on your face and give in."

BONNY:  (Singing one line).
"Yes, sir!"

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (Singing and happily and merrily keeping bar).  "Cards on the table, good friends together, this is a merry, merry world tonight!  La-Da-Da, La-Da-Da, La-Da!"

BONNY:  (Singing, as she is dancing off the stage wildly).  "Friends, all good, all good!"

As Bonny is now leaving the stage, the guests are giving her a huge round of applause.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON TED AND CURLY, LARRY, AND MOE:

Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe are sitting at their table smoking on their stogies with really happy looks on their faces and glee in their eyes as they are giving Bonny a huge round of applause.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON "THE THREE AMBASSADORS:"

They are gleefully singing as they are pouring beers, mixing drinks, while the guests and the maitre-dee are enjoying their drinks and dancing to the music.

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:
"Signs on the table, good friends together, this is a merry, merry world tonight!"

Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe are sitting at their table having the times of their lives enjoying the music.

LARRY:  (As he is straightening up his hair and crossing his legs.  Smiling and waving his beer stein happily and is singing gleefully).  "This is a merry, merry world tonight!"

Moe in a total state of happiness and really enjoying the entertainment by "THE THREE AMBASSADORS" takes his beer stein and goes over to Curly and offers Curly a toast of happiness and Curly nods and smiles gleefully in approval picks up his stein smiling in glee as he toasts Moe back.  Ted is sitting there smoking a stogie and has a look of wonderment on his face.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON "THE THREE AMBASSADORS:"

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (Smiling and singing).
"Fill 'em up, yes sir, sing while you're able, hearts like a feather, say everything is gonna be all right.  (On singer to a gues, 'more beer'?).  This old world's quiet a place to live in!"

We are now back at the table where Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe are sitting at.  They are having the times of their lives.  Waving their beer steins in rhythm of the music.  Ted is smoking a cigarette, and Curly is lighting up a stogie.  Moe and Larry are waving their beer steins in glee.

LARRY and MOE:  (In happy moods and waving their hands are singing in unison).  "Hey, hey, put a smile on your face and give in, hey - hey!"

Ted and Moe, Larry, and Curly, are now in a really gleeful mood.  Moe goes to toast Ted, while Larry goes toast Curly, but their toasts are a tad to hard and they break their beer steins.  Moe then hits Curly in the forehead with the remaining portion of his beer stein.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP AGAIN ON "THE THREE AMBASSADORS:"

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (Merrily mixing their drinks and pouring suds and giving them to the guests and are singing).  "Signs on the table, good friends together.  Hey, everything is gonna be all right.  "Signs on the table, good friends together, this is a merry, merry world tonight!"

At this point Curly is now really enjoyign the music and is joining in here swaying to and fro to the music as he is smiling happily and playing the spoons and Ted is saying, Curly, show 'em boy.

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (Merrily pouring suds and mixing and serving drinks to guests).  "Sing while you're able, hearts like a feather, everything is gonna be all right.  This old world is quiet a place to live in.  Put a smile on upon your face and give in, don't be a cheater.  Signs on the table, good friends together, this is a merry, merry world tonight! La-Da-Da, La-Da-Da, La-Da-Da, La-Da-Da, root!"

"THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (Are now done for the time being).

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THREE MALE DANCERS:

They are dressed in white shirts with black bow ties and white pants with a large diamond pattern down both sides of their pants legs.

They are doing a really wonderful and magificent tap dance routine.  They are dancing in on the stage with the house lights at full light and are dancing to the song "Hearts On The Table."  (For about three minutes).  Then they are up on beer kegs still doing their wonderful tap dancing with the house lights dimmed.  (For about two minutes).

The restaurant guests are happily enjoying the dancing, applauding, some a tapping their toes, while others are swaying to and fro to the rhythm of the music and the dancing.

As the dancers are up on the beer kegs doing their magnificent tap dance routine, now on their toes for a couple of minutes with the house lights dimmed.

"THE THREE AMBASSADORS":  (Are once more singing):

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (Merrily singing and keeping bar).  "Hearts on the table, good friends together.  This is a merry, merry world tonight!"

The dancers are now back on the stage floor dancing with the house lights still dimmed and while "THE THREE AMBASSADORS" are still singing.

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (Merrily singing).  "Sing while you're able, hearts like a feather, say everything is gonna be all right."

TED to the DANCERS:  (Ted is now in the spirit of the wonderful tapping dancing dancers that he is shouting at the Dancers gleefully).  "Yeah, do it!"

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (Merrily keeping bar and singing gleefully).  "This old world's quiet a place to live in!"

TED to the DANCERS:  (Really enjoying their dancing is shouting gleefully).  "Once a gonna do - do - do it oh yeah!"

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (Swaying to and fro and gleefully mixing drinks and pouring suds for guests are singing).  "Oh, wear a smil upon your face, and give in!"

TED to the DANCERS:  (In a really gleeful manner shouts at the dancers happily).  "Come on, give in!"

The house lights are now back-up and the Dancers are now back on the beer kegs, still doing their wonderful dance routine, they are now dancing on their toes.

The band is now joining in happily and gleefully.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LARRY:

Larry is looking at the Dancers with a dazed look on his face. 

THE THREE AMBASSADORS:  (In a really joyful mood singing, and keeping bar are gleefully singing).  "Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee it.  Put a smile, doo-dee-doo-doo, put a smile on your face, doo-doo-doo-doo-dee-doot!"

The Dancers are now finishing their magnificent dance routine by dancing for a couple more minutes on their beer kegs on their toes with the house lights dimmed.

The Dancers have now completed their wonderful tap dance routine and are now sitting on their beer kegs.

The restaurant guests are now giving the Dancers a rip, roaring round of applause.

The Dancers are now leaving dancing their way out.

Ted is now standing up and looking at Curly, Larry, and Moe with a look of dismay on his face while Larry, Curly, and Moe are looking back at Ted with looks of wonderment.

TED to LARRY:  (As Ted is standing up and having second thoughts about his compliments to the dancers is now hitting the table with one of his fingers states in madness, referencing to the Dancers).  "They call that talent?  think of it, they throw us out of a theatre, now here's where we do our stuff!"

TED to the RESTAURANT GUESTS:  (Pointing a finger at them and then at his chest says with a dismay look on his face).  "Hey, folks, get a load of this, we'll do our stuff now, relax fellas, just relax, this is the time!"

As Ted is talking to the restaurant guests and Larry, Curly, and Moe.  Larry, Curly, and Moe are now getting into their places to do a song routine with Ted.

Ted is now sitting back down in his chair while Larry, Curly, and Moe are haunched over Ted and are singing.

Ted starts off by singing:
"Boom-boom-boom-boom!"

LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (Are now joining in with Ted as they are singing four part harmony).  "Oh, you'll never know, just what tears are.  TED:  "Ya, that's right babe, until you've cried,  TED:  'How you've cried, cried like you made me cry."

Ted and Moe, Curly, and Larry ended up not singing their song in harmony and very, very off key.

The maitre-dee has now approached "THE SINGING QUARTETTE" with his arms crossed and glaring at them in a really mad and horrified manner in reference to their song routine.

Ted has now noticed the very mad and irate maitre-dee and is trying to cover-up from their bad performance that they just did.

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (As he is looking at them with a horrified look on his face and madness in his voice shouts at them).  "You outta be ashamed of yourselves, you three fellas, here you are eating the mans food, singing and having......"

CURLY to TED:  (Waving his hands in question and whispers to Ted in a questionable state).  "What?"

TED to CURLY:  (As he madly hits Curly on the forehead and shouts at him).  "Don't talk back to me!"

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (Ted has a sheepish, mad look on his face while Curly is giving him a look of wonderment while Larry and Moe have looks of mischief on their faces as Ted shoves them says).  "Back to your work now!"

CURLY to TED:  (With a perplexed look on his face and asks Ted in a quiet and questionable tone of voice once again).  "What?"

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (Referencing to Curly as he hits Curly on the forehead).  "Back to your work, and don't talk back to me!"

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (With a look of scaredness on his face and wonderment in his voice as the maitre-dee is giving Ted a very horrified look).  "Those are very, very, difficult boys to handle.  Ha - ha, now right here I do my stuff."

Larry, Curly, and Moe are now returning to their positions while Ted is walking onto the stage with the guests watching him.

Ted is now  walking onto the stage, and is straightening up his uniform and warming up.  The maitre-dee is now pulling at his hair and is really furious at Ted.

All the while that Ted is doing his song and dance routine, the guests and bad are sitting there enjoying it.

TED:  (Singing happily):  "A nah-nah-nen-neer-nah-ne-nah-ne-nah-neer."

TED to the BAND LEADER:  (Before Ted starts to sing again, says).  "Okay, Chris!"

TED:  (Is now back happily singing and dancing).  "To look at me, you'd never think that I was a multi-millionaire......"

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON DOLLAR COIN PIECE:

As Ted is singing someone hass tossed a dollar coin piece onto the stage and Ted along with Moe, Larry, and Curly all go diving after it at once and land up in a pile on top of one another.

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (Going after the dollar coin piece says madly).  "I'm up, wait a minute boys, wait a minute, wait a second, wait a second here, get up here, get up here!"

Ted and Curly, Moe, and Larry are now getting up off of the floor with Moe tweeking Curly's nose.

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (As Ted has a look of dismay on his face and waves them to come to him as they huddle together and Ted says to them).  "Fellas, come here a minute, I'll give you a nickel a piece, understand, we're all partners, don't worry!"

CURLY, LARRY, and MOE to TED:  (In an agreeable tone of voice as they get up from their huddle, and whispering to him in unison).  "Oh, we understand, we gotcha!"

TED to MOE, LARRY, and CURLY:  (As Moe, Larry, and Curly are now leaving and Ted is returning to the stage with a look of wonderment on his face says).  "All right, all right!"

Ted is now continuing his song with a soft shoe dance.

TED:  (Singing happily and with pride).
"I have traveled expensively, (Ted has now walked over to the maitre-dd), from California to Maine, (Ted has now walked back onto the stage), but of all the town's that I love the best, give me that little girl from Spain!"

As Ted is stretching out his hands flat in gesture to the last line of his song, the maitre-dee walks over and places a tray in Teds hand.

TED to the RESTAURANT GUESTS:  (As he is laughing slightly as he takes the tray from the maitre-dee says with a smile on his face).  "Here, I go, with another load folks!"

The guests are now laughing at Ted as they are enjoying Ted's performance.

CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MOE AND A MALE CUSTOMER:

CUSTOMER to MOE:  (As Moe is rushing by him).  "Oh, waiter!"

MOE to MALE CUSTOMER:  (In a polite tone of voice and a smile on his face says).  "What's your order?"

MALE CUSTOMER to MOE:  (In a polite voice states, refering to himself and his wife).  "Ah, we'd like some Paté d'Fagua?"

MOE to MALE CUSTOMER:  (With a look of wonderment on his face and is asking the customer).  "I know, but what do you want to eat?"

MALE CUSTOMER to MOE:  (In a stern voice says).  "Paté d'Fagua, is what we want to eat!"

MOE to MALE CUSTOMER:  (As Moe has a dazed look on his face, not understanding what he wants suggests to the customer, trying to cover from not knowing what Paté d"Fagua is suggests).  "You know, the boiled beef here is very good!"

MALE CUSTOMER to MOE:  (With a cigarette in his hand says still in a very polite and pleasant tone of voice).  "We don't want boiled beef, we want Paté d'Fagua!"

MOE to the MALE CUSTOMER:  (With a determined look on his face and trying to convince the customer to take the boiled beef, because Moe doesn't know what Paté d'Fagua is).  "You know, the boiled beef here is very good!"

MALE CUSTOMER to MOE:  (Still in a polite voice is saying to Moe in a determined voice).  "We don't want boiled beef!, we want Paté d'Fagua!"

MOE to MALE CUSTOMER:  (Waving his hands and really trying to convience the customer to take the boiled beef says).  "You know, but that guy in the kitchen there makes it like nobody, the boiled beef is very good!"

MALE CUSTOMER to MOE:  (Now getting slightly mad at Moe shouts to Moe).  "We don't want the boiled beef!, we want the Paté d'Fagua!"

MOE to the MALE CUSTOMER:  (With a look of sternness on his face says in a stern voice).  "Will you take my tip, and take the boiled beef!"

MALE CUSTOMER to MOE:  (Who is now standing up and is thoroughly mad at Moe shouts at Moe madly).  "Now listen, I don't want to argue with you, where's the head waiter?"

MALE CUSTOMER:  (Is now thoroughly mad at Moe is now standing up and pounding on the table and then clapping his hands madly).  "Hey, head waiter, head waiter, come here!"

Ted is now approaching Moe and the mad Male Customer.

MOE to TED:  (With a look of dismay on his face about the customer says to Ted).  "Straighten him out!"

Ted is now approaching the table of the mad customer and his wife.

TED to the MALE CUSTOMER:  (In a happy voice and glee in his eyes as Ted is sitting down at the customers table and pounding his fist on the table says happily).  "Deal me in!"

TED to the MAD MALE CUSTOMER:  (Moe is standing by Ted, with an order sheet in his hand, Ted is sitting at the table with his hands folded and the customer is now sitting down.  Ted to the customer).  "Sit down, have something to eat, it's on the house!"

TED to the MALE CUSTOMER:  (As the customer is sitting down and Ted is sitting there his hands folded and glee in his eyes and question in his voice).  "What da, what seems to be the  trouble?"

MAD MALE CUSTOMER to TED:  (With a perplexed look on his face as he is trying to explain to Ted his ordeing problem with Moe).  "Now, listen, I ordered Paté d'Fagua!"

TED to the MAD MALE CUSTOMER:  (Ted is patting the customer on the hand as Ted is laughing, not understanding the customers order either says).  "ha - ha, that's liable to happen to anybody!"

TED to the MAD MALE CUSTOMER:  (With his hands crossed and asks in professional state of voice).  "Well, so you ordered Paté d'Fagua, what happened?"

MALE CUSTOMER to TED:  (Now back to supporting a very polite voice is explaining his ordering problem with Moe to Ted, as the customer is pointing to Moe).  "He insists that the boiled beef is good."

TED to the MAD MALE CUSTOMER:  (With a mischief look on his face and Moe is smiling says).  "What, do you thing that the boiled beef is bad?"

Ted is now getting up from the customers table and is leaving as Ted is turning to Moe.

TED to MOE:  (As Ted is handing Moe a tray and is giving Moe a slightly mad look says).  "Never argue with the customer, you know the customer is always right!"  (Ted then slaps Moe on the cheek), You know that don't you?"

Ted then smiles at the husband and wife as he is leaving.

MOE to the MAD MALE CUSTOMER:  (Moe has a look of hurt on his face says).  "Now, if you'd taken the boiled beef in the first place......"

There is now a three way argument betwixt the husband, wife, and Moe.

MAD MALE CUSTOMER to MOE:  (Waving his hands madly and is shoutling loudly at Moe).  "I dont want the boiled beef, I don't want to argue with you......"

MOE to the MAD MALE CUSTOMER:  (Moe is shouting back and still supporting a polite manner).  "I know what a guy wants......"

Larry is now approaching Moe and his table of very mad customers.

LARRY to MOE:  (Running up and with a mad look on his face shouts).  "Hey, what's going on?"

MOE to LARRY:  (As he hands Larry the tray and states to him with a mad look on his face and madness in his voice).  "Here, hold this, you've been arguing with the customers again, hunh?"

LARRY to MOE:  (With a look of hurt and dismay on his face and says in quiet and hurtful voice).  "No!"

MOE to LARRY:  (Pointing his finger at Larry and shouting back at Larry madly).  "The customer's always right, you get that?, don't forget it."

Moe then slaps Larry on the face as he is leaving Larry holding the tray and with the mad customers.

LARRY to the MAD MALE CUSTOMER:  (Asking him in a very kind and apologetic tone of voice and a look of apology on his face as he is still holding the tray).  "What do you want?"

MAD MALE CUSTOMER to LARRY:  (In as polite of voice as he can be in after all this says).  "I want Paté d'Fagua!"

LARRY to the MAD MALE CUSTOMER:  (With a serious look on his face and also not knowing what the customer wants states).  "Well, I'll see if the band can play it!"

As Larry is getting ready to shout at the band leader Curly has now approached Larry.

LARRY to the BAND LEADER:  (Shouting).  "Hey, do you guys know Paté d'Fagua?"

Curly is now approaching Larry and Larry is handing Curly his tray as Curly is mumbling to himself.  "Hey those four fellas......"

LARRY to CURLY:  (As he is handing Curly his tray and shouts).  "Wait a minute, here hold this, never argue with customer, remember the customer is always right.  This is a high class joint!"

Curly is now holding the tray as Larry is hitting Curly on the cheek and is walking away.

LARRY to CURLY:  (In a total state of madness says to him after he has slapped Curly of the cheek).  "What, are you doing?"

CURLY:  (As he is standing there holding the tray and a hurt look on his face says).  "A victim of coicumstance!"

CURLY to the MAD MALE CUSTOMER:  (Asking him in a questionable manner).  "What do you want?"

MAD MALE CUSTOMER to CURLY:  (In a madness state says slightly stuttering).  "I want da, I want da."

Ted is now approaching Curly and that poor and patient customer and his wife. 

TED to CURLY:  (With a mad look on his face and shouts at Curly madly).  "What's the matter, what's the matter!?"

CURLY to TED:  (As Curly is handing Ted the trya shouts miscievously.  "Hold this!"

TED to CURLY:  (In a questionable state says).  "Do what?"

CURLY to TED:  (As he is handing Ted the tray and shouts at him).  "Hold this!"

TED to CURLY:  (As he slaps Curly on the face and says to him n a mad voice).  "You, know, I'm the boss don't you?  Get out of here or I'll gouge your eyes out!"

TED to the MAD MALE CUSTOMER:  (As Ted is sitting on the corner of the table and a smile on his face whispers).  "Say, I got a tip for ya!"

MAD CUSTOMER to TED:  (Says in a nice and polite voice).  "Yeah!"

(Personal not, the Paté d'Fagua couple never, ever got their Paté d'Fagua after all the disagreements).

Curly now has a tray of food and is approaching another male customer who is standing up.

CURLY to the STANDING UP MALE CUSTOMER:  (With a mad look on his face and shouts at him madly says).  "What, do you want?"

STANDING UP MALE CUSTOMER to CURLY:  (In a sarcastic manner says).  "I'd like a ringside seat next to the orchestra!"

CURLY to the STANDING UP MALE CUSTOMER:  (With a look of dismay on his face and mischief in his voice as he starts handing his tray over to the customer says).  "Hold this, (Curly then realizing what he almost did says, Oh - oh).  "You can't get a ringside table here!"

STANDING MALE CUSTOMER to CURLY:  (In a questionable state says).  "I can't?"

CURLY to STANDING MALE CUSTOMER:  (Waving his hand in disagreement and in a stern voice shouts).  "No, they're all taken!"

STANDING MALE CUSTOMER to CURLY:  (In a voice of explination and slightly pleading).  "But, I'd like to get up close where I can hear something!"

CURLY to STANDING MALE CUSTOMER:  (In a total state of disagreement as he is shaking his head negatively states).  "No, sir!"

STANDING MALE CUSTOMER to CURLY:  (With a determined look on his face and with determination in his voice as he is still slightly begging).  "Well, I'll tell you my dear man, I ah, I have five dollars!

CURLY:  (Shouting out loud in glee as Moe, Larry, and Ted are approaching Curly).  "He's got five dollars!"

Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe are all now dropping their trays.

TED, MOE, and LARRY:  (All shouting in unison and happiness at Curly's announcement).  "Who's got five dollar?"

CURLY to TED:  (Pointing at his chest and in yelling in glee).  "I, got five dollars, it's my five dollars."

Ted the slaps Curly in the face.

TED, MOE, and LARRY:  (All shouting in unison about the five dollars).  "Who's got five dollars, I want five dollars, I want five dollars, I want five dollars."

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (In reference to the standing up customer and his five dollar bribe, as the customer is standing there waiting fo his table).  "Give him a front row table, get him a table, will ya?"

Curly, Larry, and Moe are now getting the man his front row table.  But instead of using an empty table, Larry grabbed on that had customers at it, chasing the customers away.

Ted, Moe, Curly, and Larry are now frantically moving to get the customer his table.  Larry and Curly are fastly dragging the table up front while Ted is seating the customer.

LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (As they are pulling the table cover to cover the table, end up covering up the customer, who has ducked under the table for safety).  "Here we go straighten it up now, straighten it up now!"

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (In a voice of concern and with a concerned look on his face shouts).  "Straighten it up, he's a high class man!"

LARRY, MOE, and CURLY to TED:  (In a total state of panic states).  "Don't worry, we'll straighten it up!"

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (After the table cover has been straightened up and Ted has noticed the customer has temporarily disappeared, shouts in panic as he pound on the table).  "Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, where's the 'money man'?

MOE to TED:  (In a total state of panic shouts).  "Who?"

LARRY to TED and MOE:  (Looking around in total panic and has panic in his voice is shouting).  "He' gone!"

MOE:  (Shouting loudly into the restaurant in search of the 'money man' in a panic state).  "Hey, Eddie!"

Ted is now looking at the side of the building to see if the 'money man' has hidden like a ground hog.

Ted in now runnimg to the back of the restaurant and shouting in panic is search of the 'money man.'

The 'money man' is now getting up from underneath his table where he has ducked for safety and is now sitting at his table.

MONEY MAN:  (As he is sitting at his table in a total state of dazement is pounding his fist on the table and is shouting in a loud and questionable voice as he is looking around).  "Waiter!"

Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe are now rushing over to the 'money man.'

MONEY MAN to TED, LARRY, and CURLY:  (As Larry, Curly, Moe, and Ted are standing at his beckon call as the 'money man' is happily ordering).  "I would like some lamb chops!"

LARRY, CURLY, and MOE to the MONEY MAN:  (They are shouting in unison).  "What you want is the boiled beef!"

TED to the MONEY MAN:  (With a look of wonderment on his face and determination in his voice states).  "Never mind the lamb chops, you're gonna hear, boys, boys, you're gonna hear a song!"

TED, LARRY, and MOE to the MONEY MAN:  (Are now singing in unison to the 'money man').  "Oh, signs on the table, good friends together-----you can see what good friends are."

MONEY MAN to TED, CURLY, and LARRY:  (While Ted, Curly, Larry, and Moe were serenading the 'money man', the 'money man' kept on saying in a mad voice as he is cleaning out his ear states madly).  "You can give me lamb chops, I don't care for this noise, it's too loud, you see I can't stand this noise!"

The 'money man' is now getting up to leave, while Ted and Curly, Larry, and Moe are trying to stop him from leaving.  All of them trip over the corner of the table covering and fall onto the floor in one great big pile.

MONEY MAN to TED, CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (As the 'money man' is crawling away frantically states).  "I want to go on my way, my time!"

As the 'money man' is frantically crawling away, he is being grabbed by Ted and Larry, Curly, and Moe as they are singing, "Signs on the table!.

The 'money man' has now successfully gotten away.

Ted, Curly, Moe, and Larry are still lying on the floor.

CURLY, to TED, LARRY, and MOE:  (As he grabs who he thinks is the 'money man', but ends up being the maitre-dee shouts in glee).  "I got him, I got him, oh-oh!"

Ted, Larry, and Moe still thinking that Curly has caught the 'money man' are continuing singing as they are on the floor rolling him over, "And good friends together!"

The maitre-dee is now sitting up and Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe are looking at him with horrified looks on their faces and panic in their voices.

MAITRE-DEE to TED, LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (With a mad look on his face and shouts in total madness).  "Hey, what's coming off here?"

TED to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (After he has realized it was the maitre-dee that they had finally caught, says to Larry, Curly, and Moe in total panic as he slaps them on their faces, as Ted is still sitting on the floor says).  "Back to those tables, boys, hurry up, back to those tables, go on back to those tables, you outta be ashamed of yourselves."

Moe, Curly, and Larry are now scrambling up to get their trays and return to work.

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (As he is getting up and the maitre-dee is looking at Ted in a horribly furious state with a super look of madness on his face.  Ted says to him in a state of mischief).  "Well, here I go with another load!"

Ted is now approaching a table of three customers in serious state of panic.

TED to a MALE CUSTOMER:  (In a horrible state of panic says to him).  "Hey, you gotta take an order now, if you never ordered in your life, you gotta eat right now, now is when you gotta eat, gotta eat right now!"

The maitre-dee is now approaching Ted and the table of three guests.

TED to the MALE CUSTOMER:  (In a total state of happiness as he is introducing the maitre-dee):  "Oh hi, this is the manager, this is the man that runs the whole place.  These are the people, they're friends of mine, I brought them in, they like my singing and all!"

MAITRE-DEE to the TABLE OF GUESTS>  (In a total state of happiness and is holding his hands and saying to themin glee).  "Hello, hello, I hop you're enjoying the show!"

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (In a happy state says in reference to the show).  "Hunh, they enjoyed the show!"

MAITRE-DEE to TED:  (In a really furious state and with madness on his face as he is whispering in Ted's ear in sheer madness).  "I get you later!"

TED to the MAITRE-DEE:  (As the maitre-dee is now leaving in a thorough state of madness.  Ted now has a look of wonderment on his face and dismay in his voice states).  "If you should live so long!"

Ted is now returning to his table of guests, as he is approaching the lady guest, he accidentally knocks over the salt shaker.

The you male customer that Ted was first talking to when the maitre-dee walked up to their table is horribly superstitious is now in a horrible state of panice as he is crying and shaking, waving his hands, pulling at his hair, shouts hysterically to Ted as he is looking at the spilled salt shaker.

YOUNG PANICKED MALE GUEST to TED:  (In a total state of panic is shouting hysterically).  "Aha, ah, ah, oh, oh, you spilled the salt!"

TED to the PANICKED YOUNG MALE GUEST:  (With a dumbfounded look on his face shouts back).  "What's about it?"

PANICKED YOU MALE CUSTOMER to TED:  (In a delirious state of panic and is crying hysterically and waving his hands in a horrified state cries wildly).  "Oh, oh, oh, you spilled it, throw it right over your left shoulder right this very minute!"

TED to the YOUNG PANICKED MALE GUEST:  (Shouting at him madly).  "What for?"

PANICKED YOUNG MALE GUEST to TED:  (Still in his total state of deliriousness says as he is pounding the table hysterically says).  "Something is bound to happen if you don't!"

TED to the YOUNG PANICKED MALE GUEST:  (As Ted is thinking he is a nut case and has a look of dismay on his face says).  "Oh, nothing will happen, here, I'll throw it over my left shoulder, but I'll assure you that nothing will happen."

As Ted is throwing the salt shaker over his left shoulder, Moe is now approaching carrying a tray with a beer on it.  As Moe is getting hit with the salt shaker, he looses his balance and falls backwards onto a table that has guests at it.  He knocks the guests down and breaks the chairs and table.

The customers are now getting up and are looking at Moe along with the band and the barkeeps and they are slightly laughing.

MOE:  (In a total state of rage is shouting at the top of his lungs, as he is slipping a bit also, regains his balance says).  "Who did it, who did it, I'll moider someone!?"

Larry is now approaching Moe with a tray in his hand and Moe is attacking Larry.  Shoving him backwards meanly as Larry with his tray in his hand falls into another table of guests.

MOE to LARRY:  (In a furious state of matter as he pushes Larry says).  "Oh, you're throwing dice around, get outta here!"

After Moe has shoved Larry into the table full of customers.  A free-for-all fight has broken out.

TED:  (Shouting in panic).  "What's going on here, what's going on here!"

Ted is now being beaten up by the superstitious man about the salt, while all of the other customers and kitchen help and the band leaders, and the entire band are picking up pieces of tables, chairs, serving trays and what have you, and are fighting and hitting one another while they are screaming in panic and fear.

Larry is now picking up a broken chair and running over to a customer and is hitting him with it shouting:  "Hear, stop it!"

Moe has now hit Larry in the head with a broken piece of table.

Curly is now hitting the maitre-dee with a broken chair leg.

Ted, Larry, Curly, and Moe now have been thrown out of the back door of the restaurant after they have created that fight and have totally wrecked the place.  They have landed flat on their backs onto the back alley of the restaurant.

Ted has now walked out of the restaurant giving the maitre-dee an ugly look as he slams the door.

TED, to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (As he is closing the door with his cane and is giving them a perplexed look says in general discussion).  "You know if I didn't throw that salt over my shoulder, something might of happened.  And the manager was just beginning to like us!"

MOE to TED:  (Pointing his finger to the ground and shrugging his shoulders in madness and giving Ted a really mad look says to Ted).  "And that's why we're out here in the alley!"

While Ted and Moe are having their argument Larry and Curly are standing there with looks of madness on their faces.  Larry has his hands on his waist and looking at the ground in madness.  Curly is giving Ted a mad look with one hand on his waist and another one on the side of the building.  Moe is holding onto his hand and grimicing at Ted in sheer madness.

TED to MOE:  (Looking at Moe is sheer madness and shouting at Moe madly as he is waving his cane states).  "This is final with me, no more girls, no more woman, and no more skirts!"

CURLY to TED:  (With a look of happiness on his face and a sound of glee in his voice as he is pointing a finger at Ted says).  "You meanit!"

TED to CURLY:  (Supporting a mad look on his face and determination in his voice says).  "Here's my hand!"

THE SHORT ENDS:

After Ted has just now vowed to stay away from the female species a very good looking lady is standing just outside the front of the restaurant and is turning up her tights. 

Curly, Larry, and Moe are looking at her with looks of awe on their faces  Ted is now straightening up his hat and scarf and coat.  He has a giant grin on his face as he is looking at her.

TED to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (When he has noticed the beautiful lady and is running over to her says to them in general discussion).  "Only kiddin' fellas!"

TED to the BEAUTIFUL LADY:  (He is tipping his hat at her and is giving her a big smile says).  "Hiya, toots, how would you like to have your name in electric lights!?"

PRETTY LADY to TED:  (She is dressed in an evening gown, high heels, and fur collared coat.  She happens to be an undercover police woman.  She turns back her fur collar and exposes a police badge that reads).  "Police, Wengo County.  Come along mister!"

TED to the POLICE WOMAN:  (Now is in a total state of sadness and kind of mad at himself for being so flirtatious says as he willing goes with her).  "Here, I go, with another load!"

As Ted is being escorted away by the Police Woman.  Curly, Larry, and Moe are watching the whole ordeal from the back alley with looks of dismay on their faces and they fall flat backwards onto their backs, twitching their feet in the back alley.