Three Stooges, The: Phony Express
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Released May 05, 1934
Featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
Featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
Columbia
19.33 min. (Short Subject)
19.33 min. (Short Subject)
The boys join the Woman Haters Club, pledging their money and vowing that they'll never take a wife. Jim (Larry) soon reneges when he secretly marries his sweetheart named Mary. Jim takes his bride with him on a sales trip/honeymoon and tries to hide his marriage from his two partners, who happen to be on the train. Mary learns the secret, and suckers both Tom and Jack (Moe and Curly) into romancing her to teach her husband a lesson.
When the film was originally released, Marjorie White received top billing over the Three Stooges, who were credited as "Jerry Howard, Larry Fine, and Moe Howard." White was killed in an automobile accident the following year.
WOMAN HATERS was the 5th entry in the "Musical Novelties" short subject series, and all music in the short comes from the first four films. "My Life, My Love, My All" has new lyrics written for WOMAN HATERS by Archie Gottler, but the music was originally titled "At Last" in a 1933 release called UMPA, music and lyrics by Gottler, Sydney Mitchell and Con Conrad. Edward Eliscu also contributed to other tunes heard in WOMAN HATERS.
See The Three Stooges Journal # 86 (Summer 1998) and # 87 (Fall 1998) for detailed background of all the music titles, origins, and composers.
WOMAN HATERS was the 5th entry in the "Musical Novelties" short subject series, and all music in the short comes from the first four films. "My Life, My Love, My All" has new lyrics written for WOMAN HATERS by Archie Gottler, but the music was originally titled "At Last" in a 1933 release called UMPA, music and lyrics by Gottler, Sydney Mitchell and Con Conrad. Edward Eliscu also contributed to other tunes heard in WOMAN HATERS.
See The Three Stooges Journal # 86 (Summer 1998) and # 87 (Fall 1998) for detailed background of all the music titles, origins, and composers.
Avg. Rating: 
[6.78/10]
[6.78/10]
Larry Fine
Jim
Moe Howard
Tom
Jerry Howard
Jack
Marjorie White
Mary
Bud Jamison
Club chairman
Monte Collins
Mr. Zero
Don Roberts
Club doorman
Dorothy Layton
Woman in bar
C. L. Sherwood
Bald man in bar
Charles H. Hickman
Bartender
A. R. Haysel
Mary's father
Dorothy Vernon
Mary's mother
June Gittelson
Mary's sister
Tiny Sandford
Mary's uncle, the cop
George Gray
Mary's brother-in-law
Jack Norton
Justice of the Peace
Charles Meakin
Wedding guest
Leslie Goodwins
Wedding guest
Fred 'Snowflake' Toones
Porter
Walter Brennan
Train conductor
Unidentified WOMAN HATERS 1
Mary's uncle, the fighter
Unidentified WOMAN HATERS 2
WH Club members
Unidentified WOMAN HATERS 3
Bar customers
Unidentified WOMAN HATERS 4
Wedding guests
Unidentified WOMAN HATERS 5
Train passengers
Archie Gottler
Director
Jerome S. Gottler
Story and Screenplay
Joseph August
Photography
James Sweeney
Film Editor
Edward Bernds
Sound Engineer
Archie Gottler
Original Music and Lyrics
Con Conrad
Music
Sidney D. Mitchell
Music
Edward Eliscu
Music
| Prod. No.: | 112 |
| Shooting Days: | 4 days From: 1934-03-27 To: 1934-03-30 |
No audio files are available for this episode.
Transcription by xraffle: 
Note- The stooges do not play themselves in this episode. However, I used their real names in this transcript to make it easier to figure out who’s who. The stooges play the following characters:
MOE…………. Tommy
LARRY………. Jim
CURLY………. Jackie
[The short opens up outside the meeting room of the Woman Haters Club. The door reads: “Woman Haters (W-H) Club Rooms.” We hear the sound of a gavel pounding]
CHAIRMAN: Gentlemen, please. The meeting is called to order and we need quiet. Not a riot.
[Dissolve into the meeting room]
CHAIRMAN: Otherwise we can’t proceed. Listen, you woman haters. We meet for the seventh time to convince each member of the club that romance is a crime. If you have any questions or any suggestions that you’d like to make today, or if you have a notion to offer a motion, let’s hear what you have to say. Come speak up like a hero. Your speech need not be rehearsed.
[Mr. Zero raises his hand]
CHAIRMAN: Who’s that? Oh yes! It’s Mr. Zero!
MR. ZERO: Alright! I’ll speak up first. [stands up]
[Everyone applauds]
MR. ZERO: I’ll give you my opinion of the opposite sexes. When a man marries a girl, he has to work while she relaxes. Some smart aleck wrote a book, ‘The Woman Always Pays.’ Yeah, she pays for perfume, powder, paint and every silly craze. But where does the money come from? From those dopey guys who fall. I say down with every guy who sings, ‘My Life, My Love, My All.’
CHAIRMAN: Gentlemen, gentlemen, those in favor say ‘aye.’
EVERYONE: Aye! Aye!
CHAIRMAN: Alright we’ll pass that by.
[A member walks up to the door and peeks to see who’s outside]
MEMBER: Mr. Chairman, three gentlemen wait without.
CHAIRMAN: Without what?
MEMBER: They wanna join our club today.
CHAIRMAN: Ok, admit them right away.
[The member opens the door and we see the stooges with their backs turned. The stooges turn around, push the member aside and the run inside the room]
CHAIRMAN: [to the stooges] In the name of the Woman Haters club, I welcome you. Do you three gentlemen understand what you’re expected to do?
[Moe and Larry shake their heads while Curly nods. Moe looks at Curly and then Curly starts shaking his head]
CHAIRMAN: Now boys, relax. I said, relax. Now please, at ease. Relax, relax! [The stooges fall on the floor] I didn’t tell you to break your backs.
[The stooges get up. The chairman helps Larry up]
CHAIRMAN: Stand up for the initiation.
[The chairman takes Larry’s hand and puts it by his side. He does the same to Moe and then to Curly. He then closes Curly’s eyes, then closes Moe’s eyes, and then closes Larry’s eyes. He then eyepokes Larry and shakes his hand. He then eyepokes Curly and shakes his hand. He then eyepokes Moe and walks to the side. Moe slaps Curly. Larry hits Moe and Moe slaps Larry. Moe is about to eyepoke Larry, but Curly holds his arm. Moe eyepokes Curly. Moe grabs Curly’s head and slaps him. Curly falls to the floor]
CHAIRMAN: Please, please.
[Moe slaps Larry]
CHAIRMAN: Don’t do that.
[Curly points his finger. As he points, Curly taps his derby hat on his head several times to make it sound like he’s shooting a gun.]
[Moe and Larry grab the chairman.]
CHAIRMAN: Let go! Oh!
[The stooges push the chairman to the floor.]
CHAIRMAN: Oh!
[Curly grabs Moe’s hair. Moe then slaps Curly in the head several times. The stooges stand on top of the chairman, who is lying on the floor]
CHAIRMAN: [as he’s being stood on] I pronounce you members of the Woman Haters Club.
STOOGES: Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!
[A new scene begins inside a restaurant. The stooges are eating at a table]
LARRY: Fellas, I’ll have to quit that club I joined last week.
MOE AND CURLY: Quit the club?
LARRY: That’s what I said.
MOE: Why, you big fathead, what do you mean? [takes a pretzel and hits Larry in the face with it]
LARRY: It’s this way, I met a beautiful girl and fell head over heels in love.
MOE: Why, you must be outta your mind.
CURLY: You’re crazy!
MOE: What are you thinking of?
LARRY: But I promised to marry her tonight.
MOE AND CURLY: Tonight?
MOE: Why, don’t you know, if you violate the rules of the club, you’re just as good as dead.
CURLY: If you get married, you’ll be carried out and clubbed right on the head. [takes a celery and hits Larry on the head with it]
MOE: Down with the traitors of the Woman Haters Club. [grabs a seltzer bottle and sprays Larry in the face with it]
LARRY: Fellas, you’ve convinced me. I guess that you’re right. I’ll have to call the wedding off. I’ll tell her tonight.
CURLY: That’s fine, but how can we be certain you won’t give us the double-cross?
LARRY: I’ll put up my bankroll. If I miss, I’ll take the loss. [takes out some money and hands it to Curly]
[Moe slaps Curly’s hand as he tries to get the money from Larry]
MOE: I got a better idea than that. I’ll tell you what let’s do. [to Curly] Jackie, me and you, put up our bankrolls too. [takes out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket] We’ll sign an agreement that we three will stick together for life and never even look at a girl and never take a wife.
[The stooges see an attractive woman walk by. She drops a veil. They quickly fall to the floor. They see an attractive woman sitting down with her legs crossed. Larry admires the woman’s legs. Moe sees this, so he flings Larry’s face. The stooges get up. Moe hands the veil to a woman. Her boyfriend looks at Moe in a weird way. The stooges stand next to the bar]
MOE: Now that you’ve signed, please bear in mind. From now on, no women around of any kind.
CURLY: Right?
LARRY: Right!
CURLY: Now the forfeit we’ll post.
MOE: [to the bartender] Fill ‘em up!
LARRY: Fill ‘em up!
[The bartender gives the stooges three drinks]
MOE: Now, I’ll make a toast. To the three musketeers, who’ve stuck along for years, we’ve traveled together in every kind of weather.
CURLY: Right?
LARRY: Right.
CURLY: What have you got to say for yourself?
LARRY: Me?
CURLY: You.
LARRY: I’ve got plenty to say for myself. [Larry hiccups twice] I beg your pardon, mates. [lifts his glass] Here’s to the finest salesmen in the whole United States.
MOE: Say, by the way, don’t we leave for the road tonight?
CURLY: What day is this?
MOE: [looks at his watch] The twenty-first.
CURLY: By golly, you’re right.
MOE: Let’s hurry back. We gotta pack our samples for the trip.
LARRY: Ok, before we go, let’s take another sip. [takes Moe’s glass from the counter and hands it to Moe]
CURLY: [lifts his glass] Here’s to our trip.
MOE: [to Larry] You’d better see your girl and offer her your sympathy.
CURLY: Tell her that the bride-to-be is not the bride-to-be. Right?
LARRY: Right.
[Larry hiccups and then Moe Hiccups. Curly burps. Moe hits Curly with a celery.]
LARRY: Rain or shine or rain. I’ll meet youse at the train. And now I’ll tell the lady that I’ll never see her again.
[The stooges bang their glasses together and they break, causing the drinks to spill everywhere]
[A new scene begins in room where several guests are in. Mary and her father are waiting for Larry to arrive.]
MARY’S FATHER: Daughter, it’s late. Have you heard from Jim?
MARY: Now dad, he’ll be here. Don’t worry about him.
MARY’S FATHER: But the people are waitin’
[Larry enters the room]
MARY: Oh here he comes now. Hello Jim! [walks up to Larry and kisses him on the cheek]
LARRY: Can I see you privately in the next room?
MARY: Not now, dear. What’s troubling you? Why all the gloom?
[Mary’s father walks up to Larry]
MARY’S FATHER: [to all the guests] Friends of the family, meet the groom!
[All the guests walk up to Larry and greet him.]
MARY’S FATHER: Come on, son-in-law. Let’s have a drink.
[Larry and Mary’s father walk over to the side of the room to have a drink]
MARY’S FATHER: [lifts his glass] Well, here’s to the happiest ending.
LARRY: Gee, I don’t feel so hot.
MARY’S FATHER: Go on, you’re joking. Sure you’re pretending.
LARRY: Honestly father, I’m not.
MARY’S FATHER: That reminds me of a story. Listen. That’s me other daughter there.
[Cut to the other daughter]
MARY’S FATHER: Well, on her wedding day, the fellow she was about to marry tried to run away. Did you ever hear of a nerve like that? Well I took care of that guy. In a room, I locked him, then I socked him right in the eye. [extends his fist in front of Larry’s face. Larry looks frightened] Then I turned him over to me brother, the cop.
[Cut to the cop]
MARY’S FATHER: He just picked him up and spinned him around like a top. Then, me other brother, who’s a fighter, began.
[Cut to the fighter. He makes a fist. Larry looks frightened.]
MARY’S FATHER: Son, I’m ashamed to tell you what he did to that man.
LARRY: Did he marry your daughter?
[Mary walks up to Larry]
MARY’S FATHER: Did he? I should say he did. There he is right over there. [points off-camera]
[Cut to the fellow who the other daughter married. He looks all beat up and is in crutches]
MARY’S FATHER: He’ll be walking soon, poor kid.
MARY: Oh Jim! Let’s go.
LARRY: Right now?
MARY: Yeah!
LARRY: [groans] Oh!
MARY’S FATHER: [to Larry] Good luck! [taps Larry in the back]
MARY: Let’s go!
LARRY: [groans] Oh! Oh!
[Mary and Larry walk to the center of the room. The minister prepares to marry them]
MINISTER: [to Larry] Jim, do you take Mary for your lawful wedded wife?
[Larry turns around and the cop gives him a dirty look]
LARRY: [to the minister in a frightened way] I do.
MINISTER: Mary, do you promise to love him, share his joy and share his strife?
MARY: Oh I do!
MINISTER: [to Larry] Place the ring upon her finger.
[Larry takes the ring from the minister and places it on Mary’s thumb]
MINISTER: Not that one, the other finger. [Larry places the ring correctly on Mary’s ring finger] I pronounce you man and wife.
[Mary and Larry hug and everyone cheers]
[A new scene begins inside the train. Mary and Larry enter their drawing room. The porter follows them into the room to help them with their baggage.]
MARY: Honey, we’re two hours early. Why did we get here so soon?
LARRY: Just so we can be alone for a while. Alone on our honeymoon.
MARY: [hugs Larry] Oh darling, you’re so thoughtful.
LARRY: Catch on?
MARY: You bet I do.
PORTER: [to Larry] Is that all, sir?
LARRY: Yeah, that’s all that I want with you.
MARY: We’re away from the crowd. Oh dear, oh dear! Whew! What a relief!
LARRY: [gives the porter a tip] Here you are!
PORTER: Oh thank you, sir. Just ring if you want me, chief. [leaves the room]
MARY: [puts her arms around Larry] Oh darling, I’m so happy that we’re married at last. You know something? I’m gonna try and make you happy too.
LARRY: Yeah.
MARY: Yeah.
LARRY: I can’t believe it. It all happened so fast. Dear, can I ask a little favor of you?
MARY: Why certainly!
LARRY: I want you to promise to keep our marriage a secret. What do you say?
MARY: Why, the idea! [pushes Larry] Are you ashamed of me? [starts crying and sits down] Oh, you’re starting out in a nice way.
LARRY: It’s not that. I might meet some friends on the train that’ll try to kid me along.
MARY: I dare them to kid you along.
LARRY: Ok, I guess I’m wrong. [starts singing] For you! For you, my life, my love, my all!
MARY: [singing] We’ll see the evening twilight falling.
LARRY: [singing] I’ll come home to you.
MARY: [singing] Calling…
LARRY: [singing] You-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
MARY: [singing] You’ll croon!
LARRY: [singing] Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo
MARY: [singing] A little song about the moon
[Larry tries to whistle, but he can’t]
LARRY: [singing] And when I’m finished with my crooning, on my knees I fall [falls on his knees and he ends up accidentally banging it on the floor]
MARY AND LARRY: [singing] My life, my love, my all!
[Mary and Larry hug and they accidentally bang cheeks]
[Cut to Moe and Curly. They are sitting at a different part of the train.]
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: [gives Moe a piece of paper] There! Say, what’s that button that you wear? W-H? What can that be?
CURLY: Woman Haters!
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: Oh I see.
MOE: That’s our organization!
CURLY: Why?
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: It appeals to me somehow.
CURLY: Would you like to join?
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: Yes sir!
MOE: Ok, we’ll initiate you now.
[Moe takes off the conductor’s hat and makes him hold onto it. Moe takes the conductor’s hand and places it by his side. Moe bonks Curly on the head. Moe closes the conductor’s eyes and shakes Curly’s hand. Moe then tries to eyepoke the conductor but Curly holds his arm. Moe eyepokes Curly. Moe then eyepokes the conductor.]
MOE: I now pronounce you a member of the Woman Haters Club. [puts a pin on the conductor.]
[Moe and the conductor shake hands. The conductor leaves. The porter walks by]
CURLY: [to the porter] Say! Did you see a curly-headed fella?
PORTER: Sure enough. He’s in there with a lady. Brother, she hot stuff!
[Moe and Curly start running. Curly falls on the floor, so Moe helps him up.]
[Cut to Larry and Mary’s drawing room. Mary is playing with Larry’s hair. Suddenly, she sees the pin Larry is wearing that says “W.H.”]
MARY: Honey, W-H? What does that mean?
LARRY: [removes his pin and starts thinking.] Wonderful honeymoon.
MARY: [silently] Oh!
[Moe and Curly walk in. Larry quickly pushes Mary onto the other chair]
MARY: [to Larry] What does this mean? Are you crazy or what?
LARRY: You fainted, did you forgot?
CURLY: [to Moe] What do you think, Tommy?
MOE: It’s tommyrot. [grabs Larry] Come here. Come here! [pulls Larry by the hair]
MARY: Is there something I can do, dear?
[The stooges leave the room]
MARY: [to herself] Well, I wonder what that’s all about. Is it possible he’s a thief? Something tells me this marriage of mine is going to end in grief?
[Cut to the stooges who are walking down the hallway of the train.]
[Cut back to Mary’s drawing room]
MARY: I guess the best way to settle this matter is to attend to it myself. [leaves the room]
[Cut to the end of the train. Larry and Curly are sitting on the bench while Moe stands]
LARRY: Fellas I tell ya, you got me all wrong. I was minding my own business when that woman came along.
[Mary walks up to the glass door and hears the conversation the stooges are having]
LARRY: Suddenly, she fainted. Now, I’m asking you, if a woman faints right in your arms, what is there to do? You don’t think that I’d fool around with a sappy dame like that? Her eyes are like a cat and her hair is like a rat.
MOE: Well, just the same, we signed a paper and that paper reads, no woman shall enter our lives no matter what she needs.
CURLY: And the next time you’re with a girl, you’re gonna forfeit your dough. And furthermore, you have no right---
LARRY: Alright, alright, I know.
[The stooges see Mary behind the glass door. Mary opens the door and walks up to Moe]
MARY: [singing to Moe] Oh, I’m in trouble, a lot of trouble. I really don’t know what to do. Can I get some help from you?
MOE: Tell me, is it really serious?
MARY: [singing] You’ll never know how serious.
CURLY: Let me help her, she’s delirious!
[Mary faints in Moe’s arms]
LARRY: Look! [singing] She’s gonna faint.
MOE: Oh no, she ain’t.
[Mary revives]
MARY: [singing] Oh I can’t bear it. [places her arms around Moe] I can’t go on. Won’t someone help me to my room or I’ll go right to my doom.
MOE: Well, little girl, if that’s the case, I’ll go with you almost anyplace.
MARY: Oh thank you! [sticks her tongue out at Larry]
MOE: Ok, toots.
MARY: Thank you! [sticks her tongue out at Larry again]
[Mary and Moe leave]
[Larry wants to get up and follow them but Curly stops him]
LARRY: Now let me out of here.
CURLY: You stay where you are. I’ll find out what’s going on in the next car.
LARRY: I insist. You stay here. I got to go. [gets up]
CURLY: [pushes Larry back down] You insist?
LARRY: [stands up to Curly] Yes, I insist!!
CURLY: Oh, is that so?
LARRY: Listen, I know how to handle her. I’ve done it before.
CURLY: You give me the works before. You can’t do it no more.
LARRY: You’ll make me mad. I’m losing my temper. I’m warning you!
CURLY: So, you’re trying to bulldoze me? What are you gonna do?
LARRY: [yells] You’re making me mad. I’m losing my temper! Come on, get out of my way!
CURLY: No, I won’t get out of your way. [slaps Larry on the head] Right here is where I’ll stay.
[Larry slaps Curly back. Larry and Curly start fighting. The train conductor walks in and stops them]
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: Say! What’s the idea of this rough stuff? I’ve stood enough guff from you two. Now you behave!
LARRY: Well, we weren’t gonna bother anybody, mister. We’re just a couple of---
[Larry and Curly starting running out the door]
[Cut to the hallway. Larry and Curly walk down the hallway and stand outside Mary’s dressing room. They hear Moe sing to Mary]
MOE: [singing] For you! For you, my life, my love, my all!
MARY: [singing] We’ll see the evening twilight falling.
[Cut to the Curly and Larry. Curly is peaking through the keyhole. Larry’s slaps Curly on the head. Larry then peeks through the keyhole. Curly kicks Larry in the rear]
MOE: [singing] I’ll come home to you.
[Cut back to the inside of the dressing room]
MARY: [singing] Calling…
MOE: [singing] You-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo hoo!
MARY: [singing] You’ll croon!
MOE: [singing] Boo-boo-boo-boo
MARY: [singing] A little song beneath the moon
[Moe tries to whistle but he can’t]
[Cut to the Curly and Larry. They both bend down and bump heads]
MARY: [singing] And when you’re finished with your crooning
[Cut to the inside of the dressing room. Moe gets down on his knees]
MOE AND MARY: [singing] On my knees I fall, my life, my love, my all!
[Curly and Larry walk in]
LARRY: [slaps Moe on the head] Come on, explain yourself and you better do it quick!
MARY: Breaking into my room this way is the lowest kind of a trick.
LARRY: But darling---
MOE AND CURLY: Darling?
LARRY: [to Moe] Oh I forgot. I though I was talking to you.
MOE: Me? Where do you get that stuff? What are you trying to do?
CURLY: [to Moe] What are you doing here with this gal? That’s what I want to know.
MOE: Come on outside and I’ll tell ya.
LARRY: Alright, come on. Let’s go.
[Larry signals to Moe to go first, but Moe insists that Larry go out first. Larry still insists that Moe leave first. Moe eyepokes Larry. Larry leaves. Moe and Curly bow to each other. Moe hits Curly on the forehead. Moe leaves. Curly is about to follow but Mary pulls him]
[Cut to the hallway. Larry and Moe are walking down the hallway. Two attractive women pass by. Larry looks at them and admires them. Moe pushes Larry. Suddenly, they realize that Curly is missing]
LARRY: Where’s Jackie?
[Moe and Larry run back to Mary’s dressing room.]
[Cut to the Mary’s dressing room]
MARY: [singing to Curly] Oh come to me! Come to me! Tell me I’m your heart’s desire. [grabs Curly’s face] Oh come to me! Come to me! [tries to put her arms around Curly, but Curly pushes her arms away] Let me feel the bliss of your maddening kiss.
LARRY: [bangs on the door] Open that door or I’ll break it down!
MARY: Oh!
[Moe and Larry continue to bang on the door]
MARY: Oh! Oh!
[Curly tries to hide under the couch, but he can’t fit]
MOE: [yelling from the hallway] Remember, you’re a woman hater.
MARY: Oh! [tries to push Curly under the couch, but he won’t fit]
MARY: Ok, under there. [points to the other chair]
[Curly stands there looking lost]
MARY: [points to the other chair again] Under here! Under here!
MOE: You can’t get away with it!
[Curly tries to hide under the other chair, but he can’t fit]
MARY: Oh!
[Moe bangs on the door with his head. Larry bangs on the door. Moe slaps Larry and Larry slaps him back. Moe slaps Larry. Larry then continues to bang on the door]
MARY: [to Curly] Play dead! Play dead!
[Curly lies on the couch and plays dead]
[Larry and Moe break into the room]
MARY: Shh! The poor boy is ill. Be quiet till he awakes.
[Mary feels Curly’s head. Curly opens his eyes and Mary slaps him]
MARY: [to Moe] Fever, he’s hot.
MOE: Don’t worry. [singing] I got what it takes to cure him. [makes a fist]
MARY: [pushes Moe] Don’t you dare strike him!
LARRY: What’s the matter? Do you like him?
MARY: [to Larry] If you dare to lay a hand on him, I’ll scream!
[Moe pushes Mary aside]
MARY: [screams] Ahhh!
[Moe walks up to Curly. He hits Curly in stomach and eyepokes him. He does this one more time. He then slaps Curly in the face several times. Curly points off camera. Larry and Mary are hugging. Moe walks up to Larry and taps him, but he won’t respond. He then pulls Larry’s hair, grabs his nose, and hits it.]
LARRY: Oh!
CURLY: Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk
[Moe slaps Curly. Moe then grabs Larry away from Mary]
MOE: [to Larry and Curly] Come on now. Scram, ya mugs! Did you hear what I said? [to Mary] And don’t disturb us again, we’re going to bed.
[A new scene begins. Moe, Larry and Curly are sleeping at their births. Moe and Larry are sleeping together in the lower birth while Curly sleeps in the upper birth. As he is sleeping, Larry is hugging and kissing his pillow. Suddenly he awakes and he tries to sneak out of bed. When Larry gets up, he falls down and his hand gets stuck on a small pot. As he tries to get it off, it flies off and hits Moe. Moe awakes.]
MOE: Oh! Get in there, up against the wall!
[Larry and Moe switch places on the bed. Moe now tries to sneak out but Larry grabs onto Moe’s pajamas. Moe and Larry fight for a short time and they fall asleep.]
MOE: Oh!
[Curly wakes up and hits his head on the pole that’s on top of his birth. He hits his head again. He gives the pole an annoyed look. He then tries to sneak out of his upper birth. As he tries to climb down his birth, Moe grabs his foot and bites it]
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo woo woo!
[Curly falls off of his upper birth. Moe and Larry try to fight Curly and they fall to the floor. They’re now on top of each other. As they’re on the floor, Moe slap Curly and Curly slaps Larry. They do this several times]
LARRY: Oh!
MOE: [to Curly as he slaps him] What are you doing? What are you looking for?
LARRY: Let me out. Let me out of here!
[Mary walks up to the stooges]
MARY: Oh, a couple of acrobats!
[The stooges get up and sit on their lower birth]
MARY: Now you pay attention and you might get a big surprise. [slaps Curly] I’ll relieve your tension by telling you that I’m wise. [points to Larry] This man’s my husband. We were married a couple of hours ago and the agreement that you fellas signed is false and it don’t go. Because everybody had cheated. [slaps Curly again] I can prove it and I know. Move over!
[Mary pushes Moe and Curly out of the window of the train]
LARRY: Move over?
MOE: Ohhh!
[Moe and Curly fall out of the window of the train]
[A new scene begins in the Woman Hater’s meeting room. This time, everyone is now old.]
CHAIRMAN: [pounds the gavel] The thirtieth meeting of the Woman Hater’s Club is called.
[Moe and Curly are at the table playing a game. Moe slaps Curly’s hand. He then tries to eyepoke Curly, but he can’t because his hand is shaking due to old age. Curly mocks him. Moe flings Curly’s face]
MR. ZERO: Mr. Chairman, there’s a man outside.
CHAIRMAN: Tell him to come inside.
[Old Larry enters. He is walking with a cane]
CHAIRMAN: [to Larry] Well, what do you want?
LARRY: I wanna join the Woman Hater’s Club. [singing] For you! For you, my life, my love, my all!
[Curly bows to Moe and Moe hits him in the forehead. Moe and Curly run back and forth]
LARRY: [singing] Each evening when the twilight’s falling.
[Curly bows to Moe and Moe hits him in the forehead.]
LARRY: [singing] I’ll come home to you. Calling…
MOE AND CURLY: [singing] Ah you-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
[Larry gets startled]
LARRY: [singing] I’ll croon!
CURLY: Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo
[Moe eyepokes Curly]
LARRY: [singing] A little song about the moon
[Larry whistles in his cane. Moe slaps him in the head]
LARRY: [singing] And when I’m finished…
STOOGES: [singing] With my crooning, on my knees I fall.
[The stooges kneel down]
CURLY: My life [Moe slaps Curly]
LARRY: My love [Moe slaps Larry]
MOE: [singing] My all!
[Curly and Larry punch Moe in the face. Moe then flings Larry and Curly in the face with both of his hands. The scene ends]
--THE END--
MOE…………. Tommy
LARRY………. Jim
CURLY………. Jackie
[The short opens up outside the meeting room of the Woman Haters Club. The door reads: “Woman Haters (W-H) Club Rooms.” We hear the sound of a gavel pounding]
CHAIRMAN: Gentlemen, please. The meeting is called to order and we need quiet. Not a riot.
[Dissolve into the meeting room]
CHAIRMAN: Otherwise we can’t proceed. Listen, you woman haters. We meet for the seventh time to convince each member of the club that romance is a crime. If you have any questions or any suggestions that you’d like to make today, or if you have a notion to offer a motion, let’s hear what you have to say. Come speak up like a hero. Your speech need not be rehearsed.
[Mr. Zero raises his hand]
CHAIRMAN: Who’s that? Oh yes! It’s Mr. Zero!
MR. ZERO: Alright! I’ll speak up first. [stands up]
[Everyone applauds]
MR. ZERO: I’ll give you my opinion of the opposite sexes. When a man marries a girl, he has to work while she relaxes. Some smart aleck wrote a book, ‘The Woman Always Pays.’ Yeah, she pays for perfume, powder, paint and every silly craze. But where does the money come from? From those dopey guys who fall. I say down with every guy who sings, ‘My Life, My Love, My All.’
CHAIRMAN: Gentlemen, gentlemen, those in favor say ‘aye.’
EVERYONE: Aye! Aye!
CHAIRMAN: Alright we’ll pass that by.
[A member walks up to the door and peeks to see who’s outside]
MEMBER: Mr. Chairman, three gentlemen wait without.
CHAIRMAN: Without what?
MEMBER: They wanna join our club today.
CHAIRMAN: Ok, admit them right away.
[The member opens the door and we see the stooges with their backs turned. The stooges turn around, push the member aside and the run inside the room]
CHAIRMAN: [to the stooges] In the name of the Woman Haters club, I welcome you. Do you three gentlemen understand what you’re expected to do?
[Moe and Larry shake their heads while Curly nods. Moe looks at Curly and then Curly starts shaking his head]
CHAIRMAN: Now boys, relax. I said, relax. Now please, at ease. Relax, relax! [The stooges fall on the floor] I didn’t tell you to break your backs.
[The stooges get up. The chairman helps Larry up]
CHAIRMAN: Stand up for the initiation.
[The chairman takes Larry’s hand and puts it by his side. He does the same to Moe and then to Curly. He then closes Curly’s eyes, then closes Moe’s eyes, and then closes Larry’s eyes. He then eyepokes Larry and shakes his hand. He then eyepokes Curly and shakes his hand. He then eyepokes Moe and walks to the side. Moe slaps Curly. Larry hits Moe and Moe slaps Larry. Moe is about to eyepoke Larry, but Curly holds his arm. Moe eyepokes Curly. Moe grabs Curly’s head and slaps him. Curly falls to the floor]
CHAIRMAN: Please, please.
[Moe slaps Larry]
CHAIRMAN: Don’t do that.
[Curly points his finger. As he points, Curly taps his derby hat on his head several times to make it sound like he’s shooting a gun.]
[Moe and Larry grab the chairman.]
CHAIRMAN: Let go! Oh!
[The stooges push the chairman to the floor.]
CHAIRMAN: Oh!
[Curly grabs Moe’s hair. Moe then slaps Curly in the head several times. The stooges stand on top of the chairman, who is lying on the floor]
CHAIRMAN: [as he’s being stood on] I pronounce you members of the Woman Haters Club.
STOOGES: Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!
[A new scene begins inside a restaurant. The stooges are eating at a table]
LARRY: Fellas, I’ll have to quit that club I joined last week.
MOE AND CURLY: Quit the club?
LARRY: That’s what I said.
MOE: Why, you big fathead, what do you mean? [takes a pretzel and hits Larry in the face with it]
LARRY: It’s this way, I met a beautiful girl and fell head over heels in love.
MOE: Why, you must be outta your mind.
CURLY: You’re crazy!
MOE: What are you thinking of?
LARRY: But I promised to marry her tonight.
MOE AND CURLY: Tonight?
MOE: Why, don’t you know, if you violate the rules of the club, you’re just as good as dead.
CURLY: If you get married, you’ll be carried out and clubbed right on the head. [takes a celery and hits Larry on the head with it]
MOE: Down with the traitors of the Woman Haters Club. [grabs a seltzer bottle and sprays Larry in the face with it]
LARRY: Fellas, you’ve convinced me. I guess that you’re right. I’ll have to call the wedding off. I’ll tell her tonight.
CURLY: That’s fine, but how can we be certain you won’t give us the double-cross?
LARRY: I’ll put up my bankroll. If I miss, I’ll take the loss. [takes out some money and hands it to Curly]
[Moe slaps Curly’s hand as he tries to get the money from Larry]
MOE: I got a better idea than that. I’ll tell you what let’s do. [to Curly] Jackie, me and you, put up our bankrolls too. [takes out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket] We’ll sign an agreement that we three will stick together for life and never even look at a girl and never take a wife.
[The stooges see an attractive woman walk by. She drops a veil. They quickly fall to the floor. They see an attractive woman sitting down with her legs crossed. Larry admires the woman’s legs. Moe sees this, so he flings Larry’s face. The stooges get up. Moe hands the veil to a woman. Her boyfriend looks at Moe in a weird way. The stooges stand next to the bar]
MOE: Now that you’ve signed, please bear in mind. From now on, no women around of any kind.
CURLY: Right?
LARRY: Right!
CURLY: Now the forfeit we’ll post.
MOE: [to the bartender] Fill ‘em up!
LARRY: Fill ‘em up!
[The bartender gives the stooges three drinks]
MOE: Now, I’ll make a toast. To the three musketeers, who’ve stuck along for years, we’ve traveled together in every kind of weather.
CURLY: Right?
LARRY: Right.
CURLY: What have you got to say for yourself?
LARRY: Me?
CURLY: You.
LARRY: I’ve got plenty to say for myself. [Larry hiccups twice] I beg your pardon, mates. [lifts his glass] Here’s to the finest salesmen in the whole United States.
MOE: Say, by the way, don’t we leave for the road tonight?
CURLY: What day is this?
MOE: [looks at his watch] The twenty-first.
CURLY: By golly, you’re right.
MOE: Let’s hurry back. We gotta pack our samples for the trip.
LARRY: Ok, before we go, let’s take another sip. [takes Moe’s glass from the counter and hands it to Moe]
CURLY: [lifts his glass] Here’s to our trip.
MOE: [to Larry] You’d better see your girl and offer her your sympathy.
CURLY: Tell her that the bride-to-be is not the bride-to-be. Right?
LARRY: Right.
[Larry hiccups and then Moe Hiccups. Curly burps. Moe hits Curly with a celery.]
LARRY: Rain or shine or rain. I’ll meet youse at the train. And now I’ll tell the lady that I’ll never see her again.
[The stooges bang their glasses together and they break, causing the drinks to spill everywhere]
[A new scene begins in room where several guests are in. Mary and her father are waiting for Larry to arrive.]
MARY’S FATHER: Daughter, it’s late. Have you heard from Jim?
MARY: Now dad, he’ll be here. Don’t worry about him.
MARY’S FATHER: But the people are waitin’
[Larry enters the room]
MARY: Oh here he comes now. Hello Jim! [walks up to Larry and kisses him on the cheek]
LARRY: Can I see you privately in the next room?
MARY: Not now, dear. What’s troubling you? Why all the gloom?
[Mary’s father walks up to Larry]
MARY’S FATHER: [to all the guests] Friends of the family, meet the groom!
[All the guests walk up to Larry and greet him.]
MARY’S FATHER: Come on, son-in-law. Let’s have a drink.
[Larry and Mary’s father walk over to the side of the room to have a drink]
MARY’S FATHER: [lifts his glass] Well, here’s to the happiest ending.
LARRY: Gee, I don’t feel so hot.
MARY’S FATHER: Go on, you’re joking. Sure you’re pretending.
LARRY: Honestly father, I’m not.
MARY’S FATHER: That reminds me of a story. Listen. That’s me other daughter there.
[Cut to the other daughter]
MARY’S FATHER: Well, on her wedding day, the fellow she was about to marry tried to run away. Did you ever hear of a nerve like that? Well I took care of that guy. In a room, I locked him, then I socked him right in the eye. [extends his fist in front of Larry’s face. Larry looks frightened] Then I turned him over to me brother, the cop.
[Cut to the cop]
MARY’S FATHER: He just picked him up and spinned him around like a top. Then, me other brother, who’s a fighter, began.
[Cut to the fighter. He makes a fist. Larry looks frightened.]
MARY’S FATHER: Son, I’m ashamed to tell you what he did to that man.
LARRY: Did he marry your daughter?
[Mary walks up to Larry]
MARY’S FATHER: Did he? I should say he did. There he is right over there. [points off-camera]
[Cut to the fellow who the other daughter married. He looks all beat up and is in crutches]
MARY’S FATHER: He’ll be walking soon, poor kid.
MARY: Oh Jim! Let’s go.
LARRY: Right now?
MARY: Yeah!
LARRY: [groans] Oh!
MARY’S FATHER: [to Larry] Good luck! [taps Larry in the back]
MARY: Let’s go!
LARRY: [groans] Oh! Oh!
[Mary and Larry walk to the center of the room. The minister prepares to marry them]
MINISTER: [to Larry] Jim, do you take Mary for your lawful wedded wife?
[Larry turns around and the cop gives him a dirty look]
LARRY: [to the minister in a frightened way] I do.
MINISTER: Mary, do you promise to love him, share his joy and share his strife?
MARY: Oh I do!
MINISTER: [to Larry] Place the ring upon her finger.
[Larry takes the ring from the minister and places it on Mary’s thumb]
MINISTER: Not that one, the other finger. [Larry places the ring correctly on Mary’s ring finger] I pronounce you man and wife.
[Mary and Larry hug and everyone cheers]
[A new scene begins inside the train. Mary and Larry enter their drawing room. The porter follows them into the room to help them with their baggage.]
MARY: Honey, we’re two hours early. Why did we get here so soon?
LARRY: Just so we can be alone for a while. Alone on our honeymoon.
MARY: [hugs Larry] Oh darling, you’re so thoughtful.
LARRY: Catch on?
MARY: You bet I do.
PORTER: [to Larry] Is that all, sir?
LARRY: Yeah, that’s all that I want with you.
MARY: We’re away from the crowd. Oh dear, oh dear! Whew! What a relief!
LARRY: [gives the porter a tip] Here you are!
PORTER: Oh thank you, sir. Just ring if you want me, chief. [leaves the room]
MARY: [puts her arms around Larry] Oh darling, I’m so happy that we’re married at last. You know something? I’m gonna try and make you happy too.
LARRY: Yeah.
MARY: Yeah.
LARRY: I can’t believe it. It all happened so fast. Dear, can I ask a little favor of you?
MARY: Why certainly!
LARRY: I want you to promise to keep our marriage a secret. What do you say?
MARY: Why, the idea! [pushes Larry] Are you ashamed of me? [starts crying and sits down] Oh, you’re starting out in a nice way.
LARRY: It’s not that. I might meet some friends on the train that’ll try to kid me along.
MARY: I dare them to kid you along.
LARRY: Ok, I guess I’m wrong. [starts singing] For you! For you, my life, my love, my all!
MARY: [singing] We’ll see the evening twilight falling.
LARRY: [singing] I’ll come home to you.
MARY: [singing] Calling…
LARRY: [singing] You-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
MARY: [singing] You’ll croon!
LARRY: [singing] Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo
MARY: [singing] A little song about the moon
[Larry tries to whistle, but he can’t]
LARRY: [singing] And when I’m finished with my crooning, on my knees I fall [falls on his knees and he ends up accidentally banging it on the floor]
MARY AND LARRY: [singing] My life, my love, my all!
[Mary and Larry hug and they accidentally bang cheeks]
[Cut to Moe and Curly. They are sitting at a different part of the train.]
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: [gives Moe a piece of paper] There! Say, what’s that button that you wear? W-H? What can that be?
CURLY: Woman Haters!
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: Oh I see.
MOE: That’s our organization!
CURLY: Why?
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: It appeals to me somehow.
CURLY: Would you like to join?
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: Yes sir!
MOE: Ok, we’ll initiate you now.
[Moe takes off the conductor’s hat and makes him hold onto it. Moe takes the conductor’s hand and places it by his side. Moe bonks Curly on the head. Moe closes the conductor’s eyes and shakes Curly’s hand. Moe then tries to eyepoke the conductor but Curly holds his arm. Moe eyepokes Curly. Moe then eyepokes the conductor.]
MOE: I now pronounce you a member of the Woman Haters Club. [puts a pin on the conductor.]
[Moe and the conductor shake hands. The conductor leaves. The porter walks by]
CURLY: [to the porter] Say! Did you see a curly-headed fella?
PORTER: Sure enough. He’s in there with a lady. Brother, she hot stuff!
[Moe and Curly start running. Curly falls on the floor, so Moe helps him up.]
[Cut to Larry and Mary’s drawing room. Mary is playing with Larry’s hair. Suddenly, she sees the pin Larry is wearing that says “W.H.”]
MARY: Honey, W-H? What does that mean?
LARRY: [removes his pin and starts thinking.] Wonderful honeymoon.
MARY: [silently] Oh!
[Moe and Curly walk in. Larry quickly pushes Mary onto the other chair]
MARY: [to Larry] What does this mean? Are you crazy or what?
LARRY: You fainted, did you forgot?
CURLY: [to Moe] What do you think, Tommy?
MOE: It’s tommyrot. [grabs Larry] Come here. Come here! [pulls Larry by the hair]
MARY: Is there something I can do, dear?
[The stooges leave the room]
MARY: [to herself] Well, I wonder what that’s all about. Is it possible he’s a thief? Something tells me this marriage of mine is going to end in grief?
[Cut to the stooges who are walking down the hallway of the train.]
[Cut back to Mary’s drawing room]
MARY: I guess the best way to settle this matter is to attend to it myself. [leaves the room]
[Cut to the end of the train. Larry and Curly are sitting on the bench while Moe stands]
LARRY: Fellas I tell ya, you got me all wrong. I was minding my own business when that woman came along.
[Mary walks up to the glass door and hears the conversation the stooges are having]
LARRY: Suddenly, she fainted. Now, I’m asking you, if a woman faints right in your arms, what is there to do? You don’t think that I’d fool around with a sappy dame like that? Her eyes are like a cat and her hair is like a rat.
MOE: Well, just the same, we signed a paper and that paper reads, no woman shall enter our lives no matter what she needs.
CURLY: And the next time you’re with a girl, you’re gonna forfeit your dough. And furthermore, you have no right---
LARRY: Alright, alright, I know.
[The stooges see Mary behind the glass door. Mary opens the door and walks up to Moe]
MARY: [singing to Moe] Oh, I’m in trouble, a lot of trouble. I really don’t know what to do. Can I get some help from you?
MOE: Tell me, is it really serious?
MARY: [singing] You’ll never know how serious.
CURLY: Let me help her, she’s delirious!
[Mary faints in Moe’s arms]
LARRY: Look! [singing] She’s gonna faint.
MOE: Oh no, she ain’t.
[Mary revives]
MARY: [singing] Oh I can’t bear it. [places her arms around Moe] I can’t go on. Won’t someone help me to my room or I’ll go right to my doom.
MOE: Well, little girl, if that’s the case, I’ll go with you almost anyplace.
MARY: Oh thank you! [sticks her tongue out at Larry]
MOE: Ok, toots.
MARY: Thank you! [sticks her tongue out at Larry again]
[Mary and Moe leave]
[Larry wants to get up and follow them but Curly stops him]
LARRY: Now let me out of here.
CURLY: You stay where you are. I’ll find out what’s going on in the next car.
LARRY: I insist. You stay here. I got to go. [gets up]
CURLY: [pushes Larry back down] You insist?
LARRY: [stands up to Curly] Yes, I insist!!
CURLY: Oh, is that so?
LARRY: Listen, I know how to handle her. I’ve done it before.
CURLY: You give me the works before. You can’t do it no more.
LARRY: You’ll make me mad. I’m losing my temper. I’m warning you!
CURLY: So, you’re trying to bulldoze me? What are you gonna do?
LARRY: [yells] You’re making me mad. I’m losing my temper! Come on, get out of my way!
CURLY: No, I won’t get out of your way. [slaps Larry on the head] Right here is where I’ll stay.
[Larry slaps Curly back. Larry and Curly start fighting. The train conductor walks in and stops them]
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: Say! What’s the idea of this rough stuff? I’ve stood enough guff from you two. Now you behave!
LARRY: Well, we weren’t gonna bother anybody, mister. We’re just a couple of---
[Larry and Curly starting running out the door]
[Cut to the hallway. Larry and Curly walk down the hallway and stand outside Mary’s dressing room. They hear Moe sing to Mary]
MOE: [singing] For you! For you, my life, my love, my all!
MARY: [singing] We’ll see the evening twilight falling.
[Cut to the Curly and Larry. Curly is peaking through the keyhole. Larry’s slaps Curly on the head. Larry then peeks through the keyhole. Curly kicks Larry in the rear]
MOE: [singing] I’ll come home to you.
[Cut back to the inside of the dressing room]
MARY: [singing] Calling…
MOE: [singing] You-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo hoo!
MARY: [singing] You’ll croon!
MOE: [singing] Boo-boo-boo-boo
MARY: [singing] A little song beneath the moon
[Moe tries to whistle but he can’t]
[Cut to the Curly and Larry. They both bend down and bump heads]
MARY: [singing] And when you’re finished with your crooning
[Cut to the inside of the dressing room. Moe gets down on his knees]
MOE AND MARY: [singing] On my knees I fall, my life, my love, my all!
[Curly and Larry walk in]
LARRY: [slaps Moe on the head] Come on, explain yourself and you better do it quick!
MARY: Breaking into my room this way is the lowest kind of a trick.
LARRY: But darling---
MOE AND CURLY: Darling?
LARRY: [to Moe] Oh I forgot. I though I was talking to you.
MOE: Me? Where do you get that stuff? What are you trying to do?
CURLY: [to Moe] What are you doing here with this gal? That’s what I want to know.
MOE: Come on outside and I’ll tell ya.
LARRY: Alright, come on. Let’s go.
[Larry signals to Moe to go first, but Moe insists that Larry go out first. Larry still insists that Moe leave first. Moe eyepokes Larry. Larry leaves. Moe and Curly bow to each other. Moe hits Curly on the forehead. Moe leaves. Curly is about to follow but Mary pulls him]
[Cut to the hallway. Larry and Moe are walking down the hallway. Two attractive women pass by. Larry looks at them and admires them. Moe pushes Larry. Suddenly, they realize that Curly is missing]
LARRY: Where’s Jackie?
[Moe and Larry run back to Mary’s dressing room.]
[Cut to the Mary’s dressing room]
MARY: [singing to Curly] Oh come to me! Come to me! Tell me I’m your heart’s desire. [grabs Curly’s face] Oh come to me! Come to me! [tries to put her arms around Curly, but Curly pushes her arms away] Let me feel the bliss of your maddening kiss.
LARRY: [bangs on the door] Open that door or I’ll break it down!
MARY: Oh!
[Moe and Larry continue to bang on the door]
MARY: Oh! Oh!
[Curly tries to hide under the couch, but he can’t fit]
MOE: [yelling from the hallway] Remember, you’re a woman hater.
MARY: Oh! [tries to push Curly under the couch, but he won’t fit]
MARY: Ok, under there. [points to the other chair]
[Curly stands there looking lost]
MARY: [points to the other chair again] Under here! Under here!
MOE: You can’t get away with it!
[Curly tries to hide under the other chair, but he can’t fit]
MARY: Oh!
[Moe bangs on the door with his head. Larry bangs on the door. Moe slaps Larry and Larry slaps him back. Moe slaps Larry. Larry then continues to bang on the door]
MARY: [to Curly] Play dead! Play dead!
[Curly lies on the couch and plays dead]
[Larry and Moe break into the room]
MARY: Shh! The poor boy is ill. Be quiet till he awakes.
[Mary feels Curly’s head. Curly opens his eyes and Mary slaps him]
MARY: [to Moe] Fever, he’s hot.
MOE: Don’t worry. [singing] I got what it takes to cure him. [makes a fist]
MARY: [pushes Moe] Don’t you dare strike him!
LARRY: What’s the matter? Do you like him?
MARY: [to Larry] If you dare to lay a hand on him, I’ll scream!
[Moe pushes Mary aside]
MARY: [screams] Ahhh!
[Moe walks up to Curly. He hits Curly in stomach and eyepokes him. He does this one more time. He then slaps Curly in the face several times. Curly points off camera. Larry and Mary are hugging. Moe walks up to Larry and taps him, but he won’t respond. He then pulls Larry’s hair, grabs his nose, and hits it.]
LARRY: Oh!
CURLY: Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk
[Moe slaps Curly. Moe then grabs Larry away from Mary]
MOE: [to Larry and Curly] Come on now. Scram, ya mugs! Did you hear what I said? [to Mary] And don’t disturb us again, we’re going to bed.
[A new scene begins. Moe, Larry and Curly are sleeping at their births. Moe and Larry are sleeping together in the lower birth while Curly sleeps in the upper birth. As he is sleeping, Larry is hugging and kissing his pillow. Suddenly he awakes and he tries to sneak out of bed. When Larry gets up, he falls down and his hand gets stuck on a small pot. As he tries to get it off, it flies off and hits Moe. Moe awakes.]
MOE: Oh! Get in there, up against the wall!
[Larry and Moe switch places on the bed. Moe now tries to sneak out but Larry grabs onto Moe’s pajamas. Moe and Larry fight for a short time and they fall asleep.]
MOE: Oh!
[Curly wakes up and hits his head on the pole that’s on top of his birth. He hits his head again. He gives the pole an annoyed look. He then tries to sneak out of his upper birth. As he tries to climb down his birth, Moe grabs his foot and bites it]
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo woo woo!
[Curly falls off of his upper birth. Moe and Larry try to fight Curly and they fall to the floor. They’re now on top of each other. As they’re on the floor, Moe slap Curly and Curly slaps Larry. They do this several times]
LARRY: Oh!
MOE: [to Curly as he slaps him] What are you doing? What are you looking for?
LARRY: Let me out. Let me out of here!
[Mary walks up to the stooges]
MARY: Oh, a couple of acrobats!
[The stooges get up and sit on their lower birth]
MARY: Now you pay attention and you might get a big surprise. [slaps Curly] I’ll relieve your tension by telling you that I’m wise. [points to Larry] This man’s my husband. We were married a couple of hours ago and the agreement that you fellas signed is false and it don’t go. Because everybody had cheated. [slaps Curly again] I can prove it and I know. Move over!
[Mary pushes Moe and Curly out of the window of the train]
LARRY: Move over?
MOE: Ohhh!
[Moe and Curly fall out of the window of the train]
[A new scene begins in the Woman Hater’s meeting room. This time, everyone is now old.]
CHAIRMAN: [pounds the gavel] The thirtieth meeting of the Woman Hater’s Club is called.
[Moe and Curly are at the table playing a game. Moe slaps Curly’s hand. He then tries to eyepoke Curly, but he can’t because his hand is shaking due to old age. Curly mocks him. Moe flings Curly’s face]
MR. ZERO: Mr. Chairman, there’s a man outside.
CHAIRMAN: Tell him to come inside.
[Old Larry enters. He is walking with a cane]
CHAIRMAN: [to Larry] Well, what do you want?
LARRY: I wanna join the Woman Hater’s Club. [singing] For you! For you, my life, my love, my all!
[Curly bows to Moe and Moe hits him in the forehead. Moe and Curly run back and forth]
LARRY: [singing] Each evening when the twilight’s falling.
[Curly bows to Moe and Moe hits him in the forehead.]
LARRY: [singing] I’ll come home to you. Calling…
MOE AND CURLY: [singing] Ah you-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
[Larry gets startled]
LARRY: [singing] I’ll croon!
CURLY: Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo
[Moe eyepokes Curly]
LARRY: [singing] A little song about the moon
[Larry whistles in his cane. Moe slaps him in the head]
LARRY: [singing] And when I’m finished…
STOOGES: [singing] With my crooning, on my knees I fall.
[The stooges kneel down]
CURLY: My life [Moe slaps Curly]
LARRY: My love [Moe slaps Larry]
MOE: [singing] My all!
[Curly and Larry punch Moe in the face. Moe then flings Larry and Curly in the face with both of his hands. The scene ends]
--THE END--
COLUMBIA : Three Stooges, The Volume IV
Published by RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video (1982-1983)
Released on:
Published by RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video (1982-1983)
Released on:
- VHS
- Laser Disc
- Beta
COLUMBIA : Three Stooges, The Volume II
Published by RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video (1984)
Released on:
Published by RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video (1984)
Released on:
- Laser Disc
- CED
COLUMBIA : Three Stooges Comedy Classics, The
Published by Columbia TriStar Home Video (1995)
Released on:
Published by Columbia TriStar Home Video (1995)
Released on:
- Laser Disc
COLUMBIA : Three Stooges Collection, The Vol. 1: 1934 - 1936
Published by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment (2007)
Released on:
Published by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment (2007)
Released on:
- DVD
COLUMBIA : Three Stooges Blu-Ray Collection, The
Published by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment (2024)
Released on:
Published by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment (2024)
Released on:
|
Face Slaps: 60
Eye Pokes: 11
Head Bonks: 2
Pastry Thrown: 0
|
|
|
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2024-01-20 09:34:49 by Dunrobin
Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Posted 2024-01-20 09:34:49 by Dunrobin
I didn't realize that I've never added my own review on this one before.
When I was younger, I didn't care for it that much, but the short has grown on me over the years, and while watching it again today I realized how often I laughed or at least chuckled at the Stooges antics. For a musical novelty that wasn't written with the Stooges in mind, it is fascinating to realize how much they made it their own with their performances. Their timing and their delivery of the lines were perfect, and the short makes a fitting preview of what was to come from the Stooges. Definitely an under-rated short that deserves another viewing.
"My life, my love, my all!"
Reviewer's Rating:
(9)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2001-06-13 18:44:00 by Shemp_Diesel
Edited 2014-11-28 16:37:50 by Shemp_Diesel
Reviewer's Rating: (7)
Posted 2001-06-13 18:44:00 by Shemp_Diesel
Edited 2014-11-28 16:37:50 by Shemp_Diesel
An underrated gem that should be appreciated for its unique quality instead of scorned. This is a truly one of a kind short filled with terrific slapstick whereas in the next film the boys seem to be sluggish & moving at a slower pace. Terrific finish, one of the best in my opinion. The rhyming gimmick is the only thing hindering it, but I can't deny singing along whenever someone belts out "my life, my love".
7 pokes
Reviewer's Rating:
(7)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2001-07-27 13:25:00 by Mr. Zero
Edited 2013-04-28 12:27:33 by Dunrobin
Reviewer's Rating: (5)
Posted 2001-07-27 13:25:00 by Mr. Zero
Edited 2013-04-28 12:27:33 by Dunrobin
I looked at Woman Haters a couple of nights ago, and it did have some funny moments, especially at the end when the guys are old, and Moe, being the bully he is, is still smacking the other guys around. This short still leaves a lot to be desired, but it was a good effort by the Stooges.
Reviewer's Rating:
(5)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2011-05-28 13:21:21 by stoogie
Posted 2011-05-28 13:21:21 by stoogie
Woman haters is the first short subject to star the three stooges. It's different from the regular three stooges short in that consists mostly of rhymes.Now let me be honest here, being the first Three Stooges (and I'm a stoogeaholic just for the record), I expected this to be a little disapointing and boy was I right. This doesn't really have the Three Stooges humor that the other short films in the series do (there's some a little eye-poking here, but it isn't used very much). It has it's moments, but it's not the best Three Stooges episode that's to say (It's far from the worst however). If it didn't feature the Three Stooges, or was there first Colombia short (and for the record it was made more to be a film for rising star Majorie White, who died in a car accident shortly after) then I think that most Three Stooges fan wouldn't like it, or simply wouldn't care for it, because it doesn't feel like a three-stooges short, at all. I also honestly can't for my life imagine the Three Stooges in a rhyme, it's just doesn't work for me. I did however find some of the humor to be enjoyable and did enjoy that the story was more Larry-centered then most of the Three Stooges short are (always the most underrated if you ask me).My overall rating,5 out of 10.
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2010-07-15 11:43:14 by Final Shemp
Reviewer's Rating: (5)
Posted 2010-07-15 11:43:14 by Final Shemp
Columbia Pictures' first Three Stooges short is a very different offering from the trio. The short is done entirely in rhyme, and its musical nature kind of holds the Stooges back from going all out with their slapstick.That said Woman Haters is not a total loss. It's a charming, lighthearted story. Its plot never really gets going, though, and it grinds to a halt usually so its main characters can deliver way too much dialogue in rhyme. Because of everyone speaking a mouthful in order to say so little, no reason is ever given as to why Timmy, Jacky, and Jim hate women so much. It's doubtful that they really want to swear off the opposite sex when they keep hounding them throughout the short, as well.Marjorie White steals the show as Mary. She's a charming lead, and it's a pleasure to watch her outwit the Stooges. If there's ever a reason to watch Woman Haters again, it's for her alone.Final Shemp's Final Word: 2 Pokes
Reviewer's Rating:
(5)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2010-05-01 20:42:39 by [Deleted Member]
Posted 2010-05-01 20:42:39 by [Deleted Member]
A very strange short. I don't even consider this to be a stooge short. A huge misfire
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2010-03-30 10:04:09 by Gritto RhumBoogie
Reviewer's Rating: (5)
Posted 2010-03-30 10:04:09 by Gritto RhumBoogie
The first Stooges short is an odd one. There is a lot of singing, and Larry is the main character, which is rare. A middle of the road short in my opinion-- 2 pokes.
Reviewer's Rating:
(5)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2009-03-26 17:14:00 by Woodcock R Strinker
Edited 2009-03-26 17:17:12 by Woodcock R Strinker
Reviewer's Rating: (10)
Posted 2009-03-26 17:14:00 by Woodcock R Strinker
Edited 2009-03-26 17:17:12 by Woodcock R Strinker
"Woman Haters" comes off as a jarring oddity for those only familiar with the Stooges' Columbia shorts. For those familair with their Ted Healy days, this short doesn't seem much out of place at all. There's a lot more singin', dancin', and snappy dialogue to go along with the slapstick which was the full Stooge repertoire at the time. But it's an enjoyable short especially to see how the Stooges have their act down so good that they don't miss a beat with Healy out of the picture.
For years the Stooges were maligned as being low-brow humor but this short proves their versatility. If Columbia hadn't been a poverty-row studio at the time, they might've sprung for a little more music in subsequent shorts and the Stooges could've shown more of their talent beyond the slapstick and dialogue. For that reason this short really grew on me, unlike warts.
Reviewer's Rating:
(10)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2008-08-12 16:21:40 by DocWatson
Reviewer's Rating: (2)
Posted 2008-08-12 16:21:40 by DocWatson
This is the first short in the legendary list within their association with Columbia and it wasn't a pretty one. The charm is missing, as is the clever dialogue and the humorous slapstick antics. Even though this is the very first one, it's almost an excercise in masochism. There are some moments, but it's largely unworthy of being the very first in my opinion. The whole sing-song thing is rediculous and not in the good way.
1 poke out of 4
Reviewer's Rating:
(2)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2007-11-08 00:30:17 by skeit
Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Posted 2007-11-08 00:30:17 by skeit
This is a really good short. The problem is that it is not a "Stooge" short, but it does provide a buffer zone between the characters they had (or didn't have) during the Healy era and what they became later. The rhyming does get to be a little hard on the ears, but there is enough visual humor to keep it watchable. Supporting cast is enjoyable as well. I enjoy this one, but am glad they moved on to less "rhymie" material. I think its apt that Bud Jamieson has the first line ever in a Stooge short.
3 pokes
Reviewer's Rating:
(8)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2007-08-31 12:41:04 by andrei54
Reviewer's Rating: (6)
Posted 2007-08-31 12:41:04 by andrei54
The first time I saw this one, I wasn't sure what to think, having already seen most of the classic episodes. I will say it is quite ambitious with the rhyming, telling jokes within the rhyming, as well as a story. I must say I am glad they did not continue with this format, it seems like it fits perfect as a one time thing. I thought it was kinda funny, and regardless of what others say, "Jackie" (Curly) was classic in this one, with the quick falls, funny faces, getting beat up, etc.The funniest part for me is when Moe sings to White that he has the thing to cure Curly from his illness as he makes a fist.The song is nice, giving the short that old Hollywood classic feel.2.5 pokes
Reviewer's Rating:
(6)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2007-07-06 13:54:28 by FourthThird
Edited 2007-07-06 13:56:21 by FourthThird
Posted 2007-07-06 13:54:28 by FourthThird
Edited 2007-07-06 13:56:21 by FourthThird
I realize there's a wide range of opinions about this one, and my opinion of it falls on the low end. I consider this the SWEET AND HOT of the Curly era (or maybe just the early Curly era, with RHYTHM AND WEEP being the S.A.H. of the late Curly era).
For me, the whole rhyming thing gets really old, really fast. Besides that, there may be music from the '30s or earlier that has aged well, but the kind we hear in WOMAN HATERS does not fit that description. And what was considered a good female voice at that time sounds really unpleasant to me now. When Marjorie White wails "come to me, come to me," I find it more cringe-inducing than anything the Besser era had to offer. Even allowing for the dated hairdo, I see little charm in her.
I find the ending confusing, with Larry coming back the the Woman Haters club after 23 years. Is he supposed to have finally walked out on his wife or something?
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2005-05-17 18:05:23 by [Deleted Member]
Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Posted 2005-05-17 18:05:23 by [Deleted Member]
I've never understood why this short didn't get more credit than it does. Personally, I think this is one of their better movies, and I don't even like musicals. The slap-fest after they're initiated into the club is one of their best and most reckless, and the facial expressions throughout are priceless. Plus, the theme of "woman hating" is phenomenal. They'd never get away with something like that today, sadly.
3.5 pokes
Reviewer's Rating:
(9)
RE: WOMAN HATERS (1934)
Posted 2004-01-13 00:11:00 by Senorita Rita
Edited 2004-01-13 00:13:00 by Senorita Rita
Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Posted 2004-01-13 00:11:00 by Senorita Rita
Edited 2004-01-13 00:13:00 by Senorita Rita
Unlike a lot of fans, I've always appreciated this short, and it only gets better with each viewing. Yes, its a bit atypical of what the stooges would do in future shorts, but its a good first episode because it 1)gives the boys a somewhat official introduction during the first scene, 2)clearly displays their rough, over-the-top slapstick interaction and 3) establishes the three as guys who will always stick together (in ANY kind of weather!) I like the quirkyness of this short. The music is catchy. Then again,I've always had a fascination with films and music from the 1930's. The stooges' singing is just "off" enough to keep the songs both funny and enjoyable.
Reviewer's Rating:
(9)
RE: WOMAN HATERS (1934)
Posted 2004-01-01 11:22:00 by curly5873
Posted 2004-01-01 11:22:00 by curly5873
I don't really care about the rhyming. The Stooges are that damn funny. I , personally have seen the short "Woman Haters" several times over the years. It gets better and better everytime I see it.But that's just my opinion....I could be wrong.
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2003-10-27 01:15:00 by LarryFan
Posted 2003-10-27 01:15:00 by LarryFan
Woman Haters is one of those films that gets better with age. The first several times I watched it, I got bored fairly quickly. However, I now seem to rather like it, and not just for the historical significance. I really enjoy seeing Larry with a big chunk of the lines, as later on that would become a rarity. I just wish Marjorie White would have lived longer, as she would have made an excellent female foil. Wow, do the boys look young!
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2003-07-30 22:13:00 by Del Lord
Reviewer's Rating: (6)
Posted 2003-07-30 22:13:00 by Del Lord
Interesting, largely entertaining Columbia debut for the Stooges does not seem so unusual when you consider the musical-oriented appearances they had been making with Ted Healy only months (if not weeks) before, particularly in pictures like MYRT AND MARGE. The charachters here are for the most part the same interchangeable dolts who were bopped around by Healy, but we can see the kernels of charachterization that would soon become familiar, particularly Moe as the bullying, seemingly self-appointed leader. There are some great moments in this one. The aforementioned mini-brawl at the initiation, Larry singing, "Look out, she's gonna faiiiiiint..." and Moe replying "Oh no she ain't!" and when Curly pretends to be ill Moe's half-sung half-spoken "Don't worry...I've got...what it takes...to cuuuuuure hiiiim!" indicating his closed fist. And a previous poster is right: "My Life, My Love, My All" will lodge itself in your brain for DAYS after viewing this short!!!
Reviewer's Rating:
(6)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2000-07-25 03:28:00 by Stooge
Edited 2003-06-30 00:00:00 by Stooge
Reviewer's Rating: (5)
Posted 2000-07-25 03:28:00 by Stooge
Edited 2003-06-30 00:00:00 by Stooge
The very first Stooge short, and the boys unfortunately didn't get off to a good start at all. I hated the boring musical theme and there was a lack of good Stooge mayhem. Not an accurate sign at all of things to come from the boys.
Reviewer's Rating:
(5)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2003-06-24 22:13:00 by H.B.
Reviewer's Rating: (5)
Posted 2003-06-24 22:13:00 by H.B.
Let's not be so hasty to call this one of their worst shorts. First, look at the primary efforts of [i]any[/i] major comedian or team and tell me it was their best effort. Second, as a wrtier, I know how difficult it is to write rhyme much less recite it in a decent fashion. Finally, let's also credit the daring producer who said "Let's try to do an episode [i]completely in rhyme[/i]."It is not as scintiliating as their later efforts when they felt more comfortable with their personas. But it is of note.
Reviewer's Rating:
(5)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2003-06-21 21:31:00 by wyzstooge
Reviewer's Rating: (5)
Posted 2003-06-21 21:31:00 by wyzstooge
I'm new here and love the stooges and I thought I would start with their first short. Usually first attempts are never the best but it isnt really bad it's just different than all the rest. More musical than comedy. I'm glad they got out of that mode in a hurry. Curly, My favorite, still did'nt realize his full potential till the shorts from 1938 to 45 which I think were his best years. Certainly!
Reviewer's Rating:
(5)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2002-06-17 17:10:00 by Super service
Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Posted 2002-06-17 17:10:00 by Super service
Certainly not one of the best from The Boys, but they were just getting into their characters. Just look at Moe's facial expressons when he "chastises" Curly and Larry. Check out Curly fashion attire, just the start of better things to come. Just like the white shoes!!At your service day and night, we do the job and do it right...
Reviewer's Rating:
(9)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2002-04-20 07:35:00 by black banana
Posted 2002-04-20 07:35:00 by black banana
I agree with BRUCKMAN that WOMAN HATERS has the feel of a vaudeville sketch. This is also true for much of the Ted Healy shorts I've seen. Since it is the first Columbia Stooges short, it can be excused for not having definitive Moe, Larry and Curly characterizations (though they should have used their proper names!). Even though like STOOGE I can't stand musicals, the "My life, My love, My all" tune is catchy. For me, this short is a bit funnier than THREE LITTLE PIGSKINS and RESTLESS KNIGHTS. However, I like PUNCH DRUNKS, HORSES COLLARS and MEN IN BLACK much better out of the first 6 films.
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2002-04-20 07:12:00 by Bruckman
Posted 2002-04-20 07:12:00 by Bruckman
Anyone--Stooge fan or not--looking at this film has to accept it for what it's billed as: a novelty. It's easy to criticize it for not hewing to the traditional Stooge formula, but to an audience in May of 1934, sitting in a theatre when this short came up on the screen, there was no established Stooge formula. A New York audience might have been familar with the Stooges [or "Racketeers"] from their days on Broadway, and a perceptive minority would've recognized them from various MGM films where they supplied comedy relief--but how they must've howled when Moe, Larry and Curly barged through the door, followed by Moe dealing out the punishment round-robin fashion to Larry and Curly in the initiation scene. Like a lot of Stoogian one-offs, present day fans either like or hate this film depending on whether they accept variations in the Stoogian economy or prefer more familiar territory. This is a very Thirties short: the offbeat musical/rhyming pattern is very much in keeping with the 30s tradition of light musical comedy, and the Stooges themselves haven't quite shed the vaudevillian personas they'd had with Healy, which in this film is something of an asset: the whole short has the feel of an extended vaudeville sketch. The Stooges' costumes in particular are those of the vaudevillian "city slicker" or traveling salesman.Some interesting cast members in this too: Jack Norton, who normally played drunks or loonies [see RHYTHM AND WEEP] is sober and serious here; Walter Brennan as the train conductor whom Curly and Moe initiate into the WH; Stanley "Tiny" Sandford, a Hal Roach regular, makes one of his rare appearances in a Columbia short as the cop/brother of Marjorie White.
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2002-03-29 12:05:00 by [Deleted Member]
Reviewer's Rating: (5)
Posted 2002-03-29 12:05:00 by [Deleted Member]
This short should be funnier than it is - interesting premise, good supporting cast, but for some reason it doesn't work for me. Maybe it's because all the action is timed to the music, which moves at a medium-slow tempo. The Stooges are held back by this, so they don't have a chance to get crazy like they do in "Men In Black," "Punch Drunks" and some of the other early shorts.Also, when it comes to putting rhyming patter to music, the Gottler brothers were no Gilbert & Sullivan. Still interesting to watch as a curiosity, but it's no wonder they never tried to do another musical...
Reviewer's Rating:
(5)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2002-02-11 23:04:00 by Emir of Shmow
Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Posted 2002-02-11 23:04:00 by Emir of Shmow
Woman Haters is odd for a Stooge short but it's good none-the-less. I enjoyed it. Sometimes when I think about the Stooges, I catch myself singing some of the lines from this short. I rated it at 3 1/2 eyepokes."*hick hick* I beg your pardon, mates. Here's to the finest salesman in the whole United States."-Scott
Reviewer's Rating:
(9)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2002-01-18 19:57:00 by waynesworld
Posted 2002-01-18 19:57:00 by waynesworld
Well, I liked MUTTS TO YOU & didn't think WOMAN HATERS was that bad. It was in rhyme probably because it was meant to be a musical.incidently Marjorie White received top billing over the Stooges who were listed originally as just "Howard,Fine & Howard" probably for contract reasons. Of course it was later changed White was killed in a car crash shortly after the filming. "For Duty and Humanity"
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2002-01-17 15:38:00 by BJR
Reviewer's Rating: (2)
Posted 2002-01-17 15:38:00 by BJR
Not a good debut at all. Audiences were sure misled by this; the Stooges would go on to become the funniest guys in theaters of all time! Not the boys' worst, but pretty close.The rhyming! Why?? It completely ruins an already mediocre short. There are numerous slaps and even some eypokes, but an eyepoke is to be accompanied by "Get outta here," not a rhyme!!!Surpassed only by THREE TROUBLEDOERS and MUTTS TO YOU as worst Curly film.Rating: 2.5/10
Reviewer's Rating:
(2)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2001-06-09 10:29:00 by sickdrjoe
Posted 2001-06-09 10:29:00 by sickdrjoe
Having finally sat down to watch this again, I hafta revise my opinion entirely. This one DEFINITELY gets better the second or third time around! It's inventive, unpredictable and very funny. I don't think Larry ever got to shine again as he does here...and who CARES if they have 'character names'? I liken this to Laurel & Hardy's BABES IN TOYLAND - as both films are departures from formula and yet completely freewheeling and enjoyable. The rhyming and singing only add to the overall intoxicating effect. I don't think I could've taken 190 shorts in this style, but -like SOUP TO NUTS - this is a one-of-a-kind oddity that should be treasured for its uniqueness. 'My Love, My Life, My All' - go on and TRY not to hum it all day after watching WOMAN HATERS...I dare ya!
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2001-05-18 16:48:00 by Nicole
Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Posted 2001-05-18 16:48:00 by Nicole
A very good short, though the rhyming in this makes it sort of unbearable to watch. The Stooges are very good and Larry gets lots of screentime (and, if you've read my other reviews, you'll see Larry is my favorite). The music was alright, but just didn't seem right in a Stooges short. Oh, well, Larry getting the biggest part is good enough for me.
Reviewer's Rating:
(9)
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2001-05-16 00:22:00 by B. Bopper
Posted 2001-05-16 00:22:00 by B. Bopper
This short had the potential to be good, but the short is dull and suffers because it's a musical novelty. It does show a reasonable amount of Stooge slapstick, but the way it's presented, it is unenjoyable. One and a half pokes for an honest effort by the boys.
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2001-02-21 15:40:00 by Ichabod Slipp
Posted 2001-02-21 15:40:00 by Ichabod Slipp
It's the first one. Larry has a prominent role. "My Life, My Love" isn't a bad song. Those are the good points. On the other hand, the rhyming dialogue has to be the most forced-sounding novelty in the history of thirties slapstick. The Three Stooges should never have tried Moliere. Also, they were a bit more random with their violence in these very early ones.
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2001-01-04 16:06:00 by Mike Holme
Posted 2001-01-04 16:06:00 by Mike Holme
Woman Haters had a few funny parts, like when the stooges fight at the initiation. But the rest is not as funny. The woman sounds like a 9 year old girl. The rhyming is sometimes funny, but the rest of it just doesn't seem that funny.
Re: WOMAN HATERS
Posted 2000-12-02 12:17:00 by Uncle Mortimer
Posted 2000-12-02 12:17:00 by Uncle Mortimer
I've always wished that The Stooges first Columbia short had been 'MEN IN BLACK' or maybe 'THREE LITTLE PIGSKINS' instead of this. It's just a novelty short to me and it has never really made me laugh. Usually, you think of that 'great debut' by your favorite performers. One of the above would have been..but this isn't. Still, I give 'em credit for being creative.
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