REWORK OF THE SHEMP, LARRY, AND MOE NOVEMBER 03, 1949 SHORT:     "DUNKED IN THE DEEP:"

This short starts off with a camera close-up on a door of a newspaper office that reads:

J. L. CAMERON

MANAGING EDITOR

PRIVATE

We are now inside of the newpaper office where we see Shemp, Larry, and Moe talking with Mr. J. L. Cameron about cleaning his office.

MOE to MR. CAMERON:  (As we see Larry standing there with a mischief look on his face and is holding a broom while Shemp is standing there with a look of mischief on his face while Moe is standing there looking at Mr. Cameron with a look of wonder on his face as Moe says):  "We're ready to clean your office boss!"

MR. CAMERON to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE:  (With a serious look on his face says):  "Good, make it snappy, will you.  Oh, I'll be back in half an hour, this story's able to break wide open any moment!"

We now see the headling sheet of "THE DAILY GAZETTE" newspaper where we hear Moe reading the feature headlining news:

MOE:  (In a serious tone of voice as he is reading):  "ATOMIC DOCUMENTS MISSING.  SUSPECTS BEING SCREENED.  TOP DRAWER SECRET DATA STOLEN!"

MR. CAMERON to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE:  (As he is looking at them with a serious look on his face and says in a professional tone of voice):  "Any way, I am putting every available man on the job!"

We now see Mr. Cameron starting to exit when he is being stopped by Moe.

MOE to MR. CAMERON:  (In a serious tone of voice is smiling happily while Larry and Shemp are also smiling happily as Moe asks):  "Oh, boss, how about trying us out as reporters?"

SHEMP to MR. CAMERON:  (As Shemp is looking at Mr. Cameron with a mischievous look on his face as Shemp is using hand gestures and is getting all excited about being a newscaster as he is slightly shouting and walking to and fro):  "Yeah, newshawks, that's our dish, tear out the front page, stand by for a scoop, stop the presses, copy boy, copy boy, stop the presses!"

All the while that Shemp was standing in front of Mr. Cameron's desk acting like he was a seasoned newscaster with Larry and Mr. Cameron watching Shemp in a serious manner, Moe was standing by Shemp getting madder and madder by the moment.  We now see Moe picking up a couple of book ends and he is crushing Shemp's ears with them in a state of maddness.  As Mr. Cameron and Larry are looking at Shemp with painful looks on their faces.

SHEMP to MOE:  (As Moe is now crushing Shemp's ears in maddness and Shemp has alook of pain on his face yells to Moe):  "Oh, oh, Moe, Moe, stop the presses!"

MOE to SHEMP:  (As Moe has now finished crushing Shemp's ears with the book ends and is setting the books ends back down on Mr. Cameron's desk and has a mad look on his face as he says to Shemp):  "Now, behave!"

We now see Larry looking at Shemp with a hurtful look on his face while Shemp is rubbing his sore ears.

MOE to MR. CAMERON:  (Moe is looking at Mr. Cameron with a look of wonderment and is using a questionable tone of voice as he is slightly begging Mr. Cameron for the chance of being newscasters):  "What do you say boss, will you give us a break?"

MR. CAMERON to MOE:  (In reference to Moe's question):  "Well, em you boys see me after awhile will ya, I'm going out to grab a bite of supper."

MOE to MR. CAMERON:  (As Shemp is still standing there with a hurt look on his face and is rubbing his sore ears while Larry is still holding his broom and has a miachievous look on his face as Moe is now responding to Mr. Cameron):  "Okay!"

We now see Mr. Cameron exiting to go and get some supper.  Moe is now pushing Larry and Shemp madly.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  (In a mad mood is shouting loudly at them):  "Get busy, go ahead, go ahead!"

Shemp, Larry, and Moe are now frantically running around Mr. Cameron's office picking up a bunch of wadded up papers from the floor.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  (As we see Shemp with a wire basket picking up some papers.  Larry is sweeping and Moe is using hands as Moe says):  "Clean this place up!"

We now see Larry busy at his sweeping chores as he has now hit Moe in the face with his broom.  Shemp is now on his knees and has found a glass pencil container and shakes it to see if it is empty, when Shemp has found it empty he now tosses it.  Moe is now on his knees picking up papers as Shemp has now hit Moe in the head with the pencil container.  Moe is now rubbing his head in pain as he yells out, 'ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!'

SHEMP to MOE:  (As Shemp is now looking at Moe with an apologetic look on his face says):  "Oh, Moe, I'm sorry!"

MOE to SHEMP:  (As they are kneeling on the floor and Moe is now furiously mad at Shemp as Moe picks up the wire basket and crashes it over Shemp's head):  "No, I'm sorrier, how do you feel?  you look like a bird in a guilded cage."

As Moe and Shemp are on the floor fighting we now here the ringing of the telephone.  Moe is now in a state of worry and he is rushing over to answer the telephone.  Moe is now sitting down at Mr. Cameron's desk and is picking up a pencil to pen down a message.

MOE to the TELEPHONE:  (In a very professional voice says):  "Hello?"

We are now on a gentleman, (by the name of Smitty), who inside another telephone stall and is talking to Moe.

SMITTY to MOE:  (With a worried look on his face and a worried sounding voice says):  "Hello, is the boss in?"

MOE to SMITTY:  (In a professional manner says):  "No, the boss has stepped out for supper, any message?"

SMITTY to MOE:  (As Moe is penning down the message):  "Well, this is Smitty, tell Mr. Cameron I found out the missing Atomic Data is in the hands of foreign agents.  If I hear anything else, I will let him know!"

MOE to SMITTY:  (In a very excited mood says to him):  "Okay, okay, I'll tell him!"

LARRY to MOE:  (As we now see Larry rushing over to Moe in a happy and excited mood asks Moe):  "Who was that?"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is looking at Larry in a happy and excited mood says):  "That was Smitty!"

LARRY to MOE:  (As Larry in pointing a finger at Moe and has a mischief look on his face says):  "Smitty, oh, I know him, 'Under the spreading chestnut tree, the village smitty stands, that's him!"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Larry is smiling at Moe in a happy and miscievous way.  Moe is now laughing at Larry in a mischief state, is now mad at Larry and smacks him across his face and shouts):  "Get outta here you!"

LARRY to MOE:  (As Larry is rubbing his sore face and is looking at Moe hurtfully and shouts madly):  "Cut it out!"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is giving Larry a look of maddness shouts back to him madly):  "You flathead, that was Smitty, one of the reporters, he says a foreign agent got the missing documents!"

We now see Larry with a scared look on his face when he has realized what Moe had said.

LARRY to MOE and SHEMP:  (As Larry is looking at them in a state of wonderment as Larry has now thought of an idea says):  "Hey, wait a minute, this is a scoop, this is our big chance to become reporters.  If we can find that foreign agent we're in!"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is using hand gestures in agreement to Larry's statement and has a look of joy and happiness as he gently pinches Larry's cheek and pats him on the shoulder says):  "Boy, you got somethin', you know porcupine, for a guy without any brains, you're a genius.  We get that story the boss has gotta give us a break!"

As Moe is complimenting Larry, Larry is standing there smiling at Moe happily all the while that Shemp is also standing there smiling at Moe and Larry in a state of happiness.

We are now on Bortch inside of his apartment room.  He is reading the paper draft models of the Atomic Data as he is walking over to a wood burning stove and is burning the and says in a demented state):  "They will never find these documents!"

Bortch is now putting the film copies inside of film tubes and is hiding them inside of watermelons.  As Bortch has finished putting the last tube into the watermelon and is replacing the plug we now hear a knock on his door.  Bortch is now looking at the door in a state of scaredness.  Bortch has now put his hand inside his suit jacket pocket as he has his hand on a gat and is now answering the door.

BORTCH to the DOOR:  (As he is answering it in a state of scaredness):  "Who's there?"

SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE to BORTCH:  (They are now answering in unison and in a happy voice):  "It's us, your neighbours!"

Bortch is now happily unlocking his door and letting Moe, Shemp, and Larry in not suspecting them of knowing he is the foreign agent.

We now see Moe, Larry, and Shemp entering Bortch's apartment room dressed in Dutch Men costumes and have handbills wadded up in their hands.

LARRY to BORTCH:  (As Larry is walking in, in a happy state and smiling at Bortch says):  "Hello!"

MOE to BORTCH:  (As Moe is also walking in, in a state of happiness says):  "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

Shemp also has entered in.  We now see Larry, Shemp, and Moe standing in Bortch's apartment room in pride as they are happily showing Bortch their costumes.

LARRY to BORTCH:  (As Larry is smiling gleefully and asks Bortch in pride):  "How do like it, Bortch?"

BORTCH to LARRY, SHEMP, and MOE:  (As we see Bortch looking at them in a state of wonderment asks them):  "But, what you dressed like this?"

We now see Larry, and Moe looking at Bortch in serious state and slight mischief.

MOE to BORTCH:  (As Moe is giving Bortch a look of wonderment and says to him in a quiet voice):  "We've disguised ourselves so we won't be recognized!"

LARRY to BORTCH:  (As Larry is also looking at Bortch in a serious state as he is talking to Bortch in a low tone of voice):  "We're looking for a foreign spy, who has stolen 'Atomic Secret Documents'!"

MOE to BORTCH:  (As Moe has a look of happiness and slight mischief on his face says in a low tone of voice):  "We're undercover reporters, so to speak!"

LARRY to BORTCH:  (In a state of question asks Bortch):  "Yeah, and since you speak so many foreign languages, how about helping us tonight?"

BORTCH to LARRY:  (As he has a look sorriness on his face and says back in a apologetic voice):  "Tonight, tonight, I will be on the ocean.  My 'wisa' has expired.  I must leave your glorious country today."

We now see Moe and Larry giving Bortch sad looks like they are sorry to see him leave.

LARRY to BORTCH:  (In a sad voice and sadness on his face):  "That's too bad."

BORTCH to SHEMP, MOE, and LARRY:  (In a state of devious mischief is asking them):  "Boys, I 'wansh' you to do me a favour, I am having too much luggage to take to the ship.  I want you boys to carry these melons for me, in an hour you meet me at Pier 7, the boat will be there."

MOE to BORTCH:  (In a state of happiness and agreement says):  "Okay, Pal!"

BORTCH to LARRY, MOE, and SHEMP:  (As Bortch is running happily to his libations cabinet with Larry, Moe, and Shemp running behind him in a state of happiness):  "Now, we will have a farewell drink!"

SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE to BORTCH:  (In a state of happy unison as they are rubbing their hands together):  "Oh boy a drink, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, a little drink."

Moe is now brushing off a table top and is rubbing his hands in happiness while Larry and Shemp are also standing by Bortch in a total state of glee as we see Bortch getting a libations bottle and four glasses.

BORTCH to MOE, SHEMP, and LARRY:  (As Bortch is happily opening the libations bottle and is getting read to pour it, as Shemp, Moe, and Larry are standing there rubbing their hands in a state of happiness):  "This you will love, Pre-War!"

We now see Bortch removing the cork from the libations bottle, as Moe, Larry, and Shemp are watching in glee.  Bortch is pouring a liquour that is so potent, that the portion that is landing on the table top is smoking and removing the varnish off of the table.

As Bortch is pouring their drinks, we see Moe and Larry flinching and with worried looks on their faces.

BORTCH to LARRY, SHEMP, and MOE:  (As he has finished pouring their drinks and is handing it to the says):  "Ah, ha, ha, good."

SHEMP to BORTCH:  (As Shemp is toasting glasses with Bortch says in a happy voice):  "Here's how!"

BORTCH to LARRY, and MOE:  (As Bortch is happily toasting them says):  "Ha, yah!"

MOE and LARRY to BORTCH:  (As Moe and Larry are looking at Bortch with a scared look on his face say in unison):  "Ha, woo, ha!"

Moe and Larry now have their drinks in their hands and are looking at them in wonderment.  Moe and Larry are now watching Shemp with worried looks on their faces as Shemp is happily enjoying his drink.

We now see Shemp as he has finished his drink.  Shemp is now jumping up and down in pain saying, 'eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb.'  We now see smoke coming from Shemp's mouth, his tie is spining like an airplane propeller and he has smoke coming from the top of his head and out of his ears.  His hat is now bouncing up and down and Shemp has a very painful look on his face.

Moe and Larry have decided to throw their drinks away after they saw what it did to poor Shemp.  Moe and Larry are now tossing their drinks over their shoulders and it has landed on the wall covering behind them.  Larry and Moe are looking behind themselves watching the wall covering coming off and they now have worried looks on their faces as they flinch back and see the wall covering coming off.

LARRY to MOE:  (As Larry is looking at his glass and then to Moe in a total state of worry and scaredness is now whispering to Moe):  "Pre-War?"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is also looking at his glass and at Larry in a worried state says):  "Next One!"

Moe and Larry have now taken one final sniff from their glasses and have jumped back in pain.

We are now at the dock and the boat where Shemp, Larry, and Moe are to meet Bortch.

We now see Larry, Moe, and Shemp entering the boat and are being greeted by Bortch as they have the watermelons.

LARRY to BORTCH:  (As Larry is happily entering the boat):  "Hello Bortch!"

BORTCH to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE:  (In a happy mood and smiling at them says):  "Hello boys, and glad you're here!"

We now see Shemp, Larry, and Moe entering the boat and are brushing dirt off their suits as they still have the watermelons and Bortch is locking the door behind them.

MOE to BORTCH:  (As Moe is brushing dirt off himself says):  "Oh, we had a tough time out there!"

LARRY to MOE:  (As Larry is also brushing dirt off and says in a low voice):  "Yeah, hey, brush my back off will ya?"

MOE to LARRY:  (In a low, mad voice says):  "I'll brush you off."

As Shemp, Moe, and Larry are brushing the dirt off of each other's backs we now see Bortch with a mad look on his face as he is checking to see if the door is locked.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  (As Moe is looking at them with a mad look on his face as Moe is shouting at them):  "Wait a minute, wait a minute."

Moe is now mad at Shemp and is getting ready to his Shemp over the head with his watermelon as Bortch is approaching them in a worried state.

BORTCH to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE:  (As he has a worried look on his face and a worried sounding voice says):  "Oh no, wait, oh no, I'll take the melons boys!"

MOE to BORTCH:  (In a polite tone of voice as he, Larry and Shemp are handing Bortch the watermelons says):  "Okay, easy, here we are!"

We now see Bortch walking away with the watermelons as Larry is now brushing some more dirt off himself.

SHEMP to LARRY and MOE:  (As Shemp is taking a deep breath and has a happy look on his face says):  "Ah, I love the briney deep, it does something to me!"

We now see Bortch putting the watermelons into a wood crate as he has a look of devilment on his face.  We now hear the boat whistle blowing as Bortch is coming back to Larry, Shemp, and Moe who are still brushing dust off one another.

BORTCH to LARRY, MOE, and SHEMP:  (As he is shaking Larry's hand in friendship and has a smile on his face says):  "Well, ah boys, I gotta be going!"

LARRY to BORTCH:  (As Larry is still shaking Bortch's hand and has a smile on his face says):  "So long Bortch!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  (With a look of panic of his face and has panic in his voice says):  "Hey, the boat's movin'."

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE:  (As he is straightening his hat and also has a look of panic on his face and panic in his voice says):  "We better get outta here!"

We now see Larry, Moe, and Shemp running to the door to leave in a total state of panic.  They now find the door locked as the boat is now departing from the dock.  Moe, Larry, and Shemp are now in a total state of panic as they are running around trying to find another way out.

BORTCH to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE:  (As Larry, Shemp, and Moe have looks of panic on their faces and Bortch is saying to them in a mischievous tone of voice and is slightly laughing as Bortch first points at himself and then to them says):  "It's no use getting excited, I got a secret for you.  I am a stowaway, and you are stowaways, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

Bortch, Larry, Moe, and Shemp are now laughing hysterically at the fact that they are stowaways.  We are now on Moe who is no longer laughing and has look on panic on his face as he has now realized what Bortch has now said.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  (As Moe is looking at them in a state of worry says in a panicked voice as Shemp and Larry also picked up on what Bortch had said):  "Hey, what are we laughing for?"

We are now on Moe and Larry who are still below deck and are sharing a cigarette.

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe has a look of worry on his face and worry in his voice says):  "I wonder what became of that Shemp?"

LARRY to MOE:  (As Larry has given Moe a light hit off the cigarette and is looking at Moe with a worried look on his face says in reference to Shemp):  "You know he went up on deck to scout for some food!"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is looking at Larry with a hurtful look on his face says):  "Speaking of food, my stomach thinks my throat is cut."

LARRY to MOE:  (Looking at Moe with a sheepish look on his face also says):  "Me too!, hey, let's go find some grub ourselves!"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is giving Larry an agreeable look says to Larry happily):  "Okay, but we better take our shoes off first, so we can sneak aroung the ship quietly!"

LARRY to MOE:  (In an agreeable and misvhievous voice says):  "Good idea!"

We now see Larry and Moe sitting down on a wooden crate and are removing their shoes.  Larry has now removed his second shoe as he is hitting Moe in the kisser with it.

LARRY to MOE:  (With a look of panic on his face and says to him in a very apologetic voice):  "I'm sorry Moe!"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe has a look of mischief on is face says):  "That's all right, kid, think nothin' of it."

LARRY to MOE:  (In a state of mischief as he is starting to leave to go up deck to look for some food says):  "You're broad minded."

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is following behind Larry with a shoe in his hand and in a mischievous state as Moe is hitting Larry on the coconut with his shoe):  "You're narrow headed, come on get outta here, or I'll knock your brains out!"

We are now above deck where we are seeing a pretty lady, (by the name of Miss Emma Blake).  She is sitting in the dining area smoking on a stogie with her little, adorable, sweet, cute, and loveable poochie with a beautiful bow on beside her and she has a fish entrée.

We now see Larry and Moe peeking in the window where Miss Blake and her loveable little poochie are taking supper.  Moe has now noticed the fish and is giving Larry a look of surprise and the fact of getting that fish for themselves some how.

MOE to LARRY:  (Whispering to Larry in a mischievous voice):  "Hey skipper, how would you like that kipper?"

LARRY to MOE:  (Looking at Moe with a dazed look on his face as Larry is answering back in a whisper and is licking his lips):  "Umm, I'd love it, but how are we gonna get it?"

MOE to LARRY:  (With a look of wonder on his face as he is whispering back to Larry):  "I don't know we......"

Moe is now looking at Miss Blake's table in a state of happiness along with Larry as they have noticed an envelope that reads:

MISS EMMA BLAKE
1420 BEECH ST.
RIALTO, CALIF.

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is whispering to Larry and gives Larry a wink as oe is pointing behind himself says):  "Hey, I got and idea, come on!"

We now see Moe and Larry where they have found a couple of petroleum cans and a funnel.  Moe is now picking up the funnel and is using it like a bull horn.

MOE:  (In a professional voice tone):  "Calling Miss Emma Blake, please come to the personnels office immediately.  Miss Emma Blake, please come to the personnels office immediately.  Miss Emma Blake!"

We now see Miss Blake setting down her napkin and is getting ready to exit.

MISS BLAKE to her ADORABLE POOCHIE:  (As she is getting up to exit and is pointing a finger at her says):  "Now, you be good and don't go away!"

We now see the cute, little Pomeranian poochie getting up on the table and is helping herself to the fish.

The boat has now hit some rough waters and is rocking wildly to and fro.  We are now looking at a wall plaqué with a papiér de maiché "FISH" on it.  From the rocking of the boat the "FISH" has now fallen off of the plaqué and has landed on the same serving dish where the real one was at one time.

Moe and Larry have now returned to see if the coast is clear and that the "FISH" is still there.

MOE to LARRY:  (As he is whispering to Larry in a happy tone of voice as Moe is helping himself to a bottle of brew and what he thinks is the "FISH"):  "It worked!"

MOE to LARRY:  (As he is handing Larry the bottle of brew with a look of happiness on his face as Moe is going for the "FISH" and has joy in his voice as they are making their get away):  "Oh, boy!"

Moe and Larry are now below deck and are happily taking count of their findings.

LARRY to MOE:  (In a happy tone of voice and a huge smile on his face says):  "I got the beer!"

MOE to LARRY:  (Also with a smile on his face and glee in his voice says):  "I got the "FISH!"

As Moe and Larry are now happily getting ready to divvy up their stash, we now see Bortch approaching them in a state of happy mischief.

BORTCH to LARRY and MOE:  (As Bortch is now looking at the happy Larry and Moe and asks them in a questionable tone of voice):  "What have you got there?"

LARRY to BORTCH:  (As he responds in a happy manner to Bortch):  "That's a dish of fish and it's perfect, you can take my word.  'On fish, I'm a common-sewer'!"

Bortch is now taking out a machete style of a knife and is swinging it it the air where we see Larry and Moe still holding the "FISH" with scared looks on their faces.

BORTCH to LARRY and MOE:  (As he is taking the knife and says in a devious tone of voice about the "FISH"):  "Umm, we will divide, I am starve to pieces!"

We now see Moe and Larry with happy looks on their faces as Bortch is happily taking his knife and dividing the "FISH" into thirds.

LARRY to MOE:  (In a happy voice says to Moe):  "I'll open the beer!"

MOE to LARRY:  (In a totally happy mood as Moe is watching Bortch divvy up the "FISH"):  "Okay."

Larry now has the bottle of brew on an angle as he is now opening it and is squirting Moe right in the kisser with it.

LARRY to MOE:  (In a total state of panic and laughing says):  "Nervous beer."

MOE to LARRY:  (In a thorough mad mood as he is getting ready to give Larry an eyepoke says):  "I'll nevous you with......"

LARRY to MOE:  (In a state of panic says to Moe to void being poked in the eyes says):  "Hey, food!"

BORTCH to MOE and LARRY:  (As Larry and Moe are giving Bortch looks of happiness as Bortch is giving each of them a portion of the "FISH"):  "Here you are boys, eat hearty!"

MOE to BORTCH:  (As Moe is wiping the brew from his face with his handkerchief says):  "Hey, thanks."

We are now on Larry who has now taken a bite of the "FISH" and is chewing on it hard with a look of dismay on his face.  Along with Bortch.  Moe also has taken a bite of the "FISH" and he is also having a tough time eating it.

We are now back on Moe who is taking his hand and is using one to beat under his chin as he is pounding on the top of his head with the other hand to help himself to chew the "FISH" better.

We are now back on Larry who has a look of worry on his face as he is rubbing his throat to help himself be able to eat the "FISH".  Larry has now pounded himself on the chest to get the "FISH" down, as the "FISH" is going down it sounds like a bomb exploding .

Moe is now in a state of dismay as he is continuing beating himself on the head and pounding his chin to help eat his "FISH."

We are now on Bortch who has a perplexed look on his face as he has swallowed a bite of the "FISH" but now is coughing up pieces of the papiér de maiché "FISH."

Moe and Larry are also coughing and choking on the "FISH" as they also are coughing out pieces of it.

We now see the three of them having a rough time with the "FISH".  Bortch is pounding on his chest while Moe is also hitting himself on the chest while Larry has now put his hand on his mouth and is sending "FISH" rements out of his ears.

MOE to LARRY and BORTCH:  (As Moe is still having trouble with the "FISH" along with Larry and Bortch as they have hurtful looks on their faces as Moe says to Larry):  "Boy, I hope Shemp got something decent to eat."

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is looking at Larry in maddness and is shouting at him in a mad voice):  "You and your ideas about "FISH."

LARRY to MOE:  (In a state of mischief and in his defense says to Moe ):  "I'm a Common-Sewer!"

Moe in a state of maddness has now taken the glass serving dish and has broken it over Larry's head while Bortch is standing there giving Larry a hurtful look.

LARRY to MOE:  (As Larry has a really hurtful look on his face as he is rubbing his sore head):  "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!"

MOE to LARRY:  (Thoroughly disgusted with him says):  "Yeah, you!"

We now see the boat, it is out on cold, dark, and eerie looking waters on a moonless night and is rocking wildly.

We are now on mid-dock where we now see Shemp, Moe, and Larry smiling happily as the are enjoying a portion of Summer Sausage each.

SHEMP to LARRY and MOE:  (As Shemp is happily enjoying his piece of Summer Sausage says):  "Oh, delicious, if I only had some whipped créme."

The boat is still rocking frantically on the rough waters.  We now see Moe and Larry not feeling all that well.

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE:  (In a state of not feeling all that well and with a look of sickness on his face as he has his hand on his chest):  "Oh, I wish I hadn't eatten so much of this, I don't feel so good!"

MOE to LARRY and SHEMP:  (As he is also not feeling up to par says):  "I wish I hadn't eatten so much either, I wish this boat would stop wobblin'!"

SHEMP to LARRY and MOE:  (As he is looking first at Moe and then at Larry in a mischievous state says as he is smiling and still enjoying his Summer Sausage snack says as he is taking Larry and Moe's portions):  "Oh, softies, can't take it ey,?  ha, ha, ha, ha, I'll eat it, don't worry about them."

We now see Shemp chowing down on all three portions of the Summer Sausage.  As Moe and Larry are standing there with looks of sickness on their faces.

As Shemp is chowing down on the Summer Sausage he is laughing hysterically and has a look of mischief on his face.

SHEMP to MOE and LARRY:  (As Moe and Larry are going to sit down and rest and Shemp is still chewing away happily):  "Give me the high seas, give me the salty water."

LARRY to SHEMP:  (As Larry is looking at the Summer Sausage chewing Shemp says as Larry is now joining Moe on the boat's floor):  "Oh, I wish I hadn't eaten so much salami."

SHEMP to LARRY and MOE:  (As he is still eating off of all three pieces of the Summer Sausage and is laughing hysterically):  "Ha, ha, ha, ha, they can't take it."

We now see Moe sitting on the ships deck not feeling all that well.  Larry is now leaning against a door in a state of not feeling all that well.

Shemp is now standing on the boats deck with all three portions of Summer Sausage in his hands.  We now see Shemp with an odd look on his face as he has now joined Moe and Larry.  Shemp has now gone and put his head on the side of the boat also not feeling up to par.

We are now close up on Shemp where his has his forehead resting on the side of a boat wall and is moaning 'ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh in a state of not feeling well.  Shemp has now turned around and looks white as a ghost and pain in his eyes as he is prying his eyes open trying to see, as he is moaning and groaning in state of really sick.  Shemp has now taken a look at the Summer Sausage and has a really painful look on his face and he is still groaning in sickness.

Shemp has thrown the Summer Sausage into a pail of water that is marked:  "FIRE ONLY!"

We now see Moe sitting on the boats deck with a perplexed look on his face as he is getting some of the water from the pail being poured on him by Shemp.

As Shemp is standing there groaning in sickness we now see Moe sitting on the boats deck in a state of maddness as he is wiping his head.

We now see Shemp standing by the water pail with his hand over his mouth as he is still groaning and Moe is looking up at him.  Moe at first thinks that Shemp has 'redistributed his biscuits' on him."

Moe has now learned that it was only water that was spilled on him by Shemp and is getting up in a thorough state of madness as he is now approaching Shemp.

MOE to SHEMP:  (Yelling at Shemp in a state of disgust as he is slapping Shemp on the face):  "What is the idea, spilling water on me?  Go on beat it."

We now see Shemp leaving with a very painful look on his face as he is walking away still in a state of sickness.  Moe is also standing there with his hand on his stomach and a painful look on his face as he is still not feeling well.

Shemp is now walking by a porthole window and is now opening it and taking a deep breath of the fresh outdoor, salty water air as he is now being splashed by some of the water.  Shemp has now closed the window partially as he is now kneeling down on the boat deck and is sneaking up to take another peak out of the window hoping this time to not be sprayed by the water.  He is now waving his hand in front of the window and is not getting srpayed by the water.  He now quickly stood up and then ducked down again quickly ad still no water spray.  He has now once again stood up in front of the window, took another deep breath of the fresh, salty air and has now again been hit in the face by the salty water.  Shemp is now totally wet as he is now closing up the porthole window in a state of full maddness.

We are now below deck where we see Moe and Larry in full dress including their shoes snoaring loudly laying on two wooden crates.

We now see Shemp who is also getting ready to retire for the night.  He has found himself a hammock and is now tieing one end to a metal pole and the other end to the boat wall.

SHEMP:  (In a total state of happiness as he is talking to himself says):  "Suckers, let them sleep on hard boxes, "I'll swing myself to sleep."

Shemp is now attempting to get into his hammock as he has crawled up on it and has fallen off of it on the other side.

SHEMP to the HAMMOCK:  (As he is yelling at it in a mad state):  "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, how do you liket that!"

We now have a quick clip on Moe and Larry who are still snoaring loudly in a state of fast asleep on their hard crates.

Shemp is now on his second attempt at getting into his hammock.  He has now gotten himself a trash reciprocal that is hooked to a board on wheels and he has rolled it over to his hammock to use it to help himself get into his hammock.

We are now on Larry and Moe once again as we see them snoaring loudly and happily on the hard wooden crates.

We are now back on Shemp who is now cozied in on his hammock.  SHEMP SAYS:  "And now for a little peace a quiet."

Shemp is now relaxed on his hammock where he is now lighting up a cigarette and has thrown the lit match into the trash reciprocal full of dry papers and has now set them ablaze.

Shemp has now taken on drag off of his cigarette and has also thrown it in the can of burning papers.

Shemp is now asleep saying 'Ah, ya na, ah ya na, ah ya na!"  Shemp is now happily sound asleep swinging to and fro in his hammock.

We are now back on the boat in it's cold, dark, dreay, waters on the moonless night rocking widly to and fro on the rough waters.

We are now below deck where we see Shemp rocking to and fro saying, 'eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb,' as he is fast asleep.  He has no notice of the burning trash reciprocal that is now rocking back and forth under his hammock.  We are now seeing Shemp's hammock strings with the ignited trash reciprocal underneath them setting them ablaze.

Shemp is now fast asleep in his hammock as he is saying, 'eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb'!

The ignited trash reciprocal has now set his entire hammock ablaze, sending Shemp crashing down right on top of the blazing can.  Shemp has now woken up in a start and a state of pain as we hear him shouting, 'ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,' as he is sitting on the fire on top of the ignited can.  Shemp has now jumped off the burning can in a frantic panic.

We are now back on Moe and Larry who are fast asleep on the top level of the wooden crates.  Shemp is now fast asleep on the lower portion of the wooden crates.

It is now morning and Moe and Larry are now waking up and stretching as Shemp is still fast asleep in the lower part of the wooden crates.

Moe and Larry are now waking up and stretching and saying, 'Ah, ooh, 'ah, ooh, ooh, eh!"

MOE and LARRY:  (In total unison have now said):  "Oh, what a night's sleep."  (As they are stretching they are hitting each other in the faces and knocking each other out of the bed and onto their sides of the floor.

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is getting up off of the floor and is shouting at Larry over the bed in maddness):  "What's the matter with you, crazy?"

As Moe and Larry are getting up from the floor we are hearing Shemp saying, 'eeb, eeb, eeb, eeb, beeb, beeb, beeb, beeb,' as he is still fast asleep in his portion of the wooden crates.

Moe and Larry are looking for Shemp frantically and have found him under the bed ware on his portion of the crates.  Moe and Larry are now looking at the happy, sleeping Shemp in a state of madness.  We now see Moe reaching over and giving Shemp a good, hard hit right in the stomach.

MOE to SHEMP:  (Moe is now shouting loudly to Shemp):  "Get up, come on!"

SHEMP to LARRY and MOE:  (As Shemp is in a state of dazement and is shaking his head says):  "Oh, why did you wake me, fellas, why didn't you let me sleep, so I wouldn't know how hungry I am."

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  (As Moe has a look of pain on his face says):  "He's right!"

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE:  (WIth a carrying and mischievous look on his face and a mischievous tone of voice says):  "Hey, why don't we eat them watermelons?"

Moe is now dragging Shemp out of the bed by his hair in agreement to Larry's remark about eating the watermelons.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  (In a mad tone of voice says):  "Come on, let's go."

We now see Bortch who is fast asleep and guarding the watermelons.  He has one in each hand and he is using the third one as a pillow.

We now see Shemp, Larry, and Moe sneaking up to Bortch's bed quietly and are taking the watermelons from him.  Larry has now quietly removed the watermelon from Bortch's right hand while Moe is helping himself to the one from his left hand.  Larry is now trying as quietly as he can to remove the one from under Bortch's head.

Larry has now pushed the one that Bortch was using as a pillow out with his head as Larry's head is now Bortch's pillow.

We now see Shemp and Moe entering into another room in the lower portion of the boat.  Moe is now looking for someway to break open te watermelon.

MOE to SHEMP:  (As Moe is pointing a finger at the floor and is laughing in a state of mischief says):  "Ha, ha, look!"

SHEMP to MOE:  (As Shemp is bending over looking):  "I don't see nothing!"

Shemp is still bent over as Moe is cracking open one of the watermelons on Shemp's head. 

Shemp is now jumping up in a total state of pain and is yelling frantically as he is rubbing his head, 'ah, ah, ah, ooh, ooh, ooh'!

MOE to SHEMP:  (As Moe is sticking his hand inside of one of the watermelons halves and says in a state of mischief):  "Ooh, and big seeds!"

Shemp is now watching Moe in a state of dismay as Moe is pulling out a piece of the watermelon.

MOE to SHEMP:  (As he has brought out the film tube not knowing what it is yet says):  "Oh, a prize!"

MOE to SHEMP:  (As Moe is in a state of wonder as Shemp is looking over Moe's shoulder in a state of dazement):  "What's this?"

Moe has now opened the tube and has discovered the film is that of the 'Missing Atomic Documents'.

MOE to SHEMP:  (As Moe has a look of worry on his face as Shemp is also looking in a state of worry):  "Hey, get the other melons!"

We now see Shemp and Moe each with a watermelon in their hands as they are now finding the other two film tubes.

We are now back on Bortch who is still fast asleep as Larry is still Bortch's pillow.

Moe and Shemp are now looking at the other film strip and are verifying that they are the 'Missing Atomic Documents'.

MOE to SHEMP:  (With a look of devilment on his face says):  "Un hunh!"

SHEMP to MOE:  (Shemp says in reply to Moe):  "Ooh, ooh!"

MOE to SHEMP:  (In a state of maddness says):  "No wonder Bortch acted so mysteriously!"

We are now back on the sleeping Bortch and the Larry Pillow.  Larry has now moved slightly which has now caused Bortch to wake up abruptly,  Bortch is now looking frantically at his hands as he has now discovered that the watermelons are now missing.

BORTCH:  (In a quiet state of panic says):  "The melons", (he is now reaching behind and is touching Larry's head says), That melon is here!"

Bortch is now reaching a bit farther down Larry's head and has now discovered Larry's bugle and that is not a watermelon that he is sleeping on.  Bortch has now looked behind him and has discovered it was Larry.

LARRY to BORTCH:  (As Larry is still laying under Bortch's head and is giving Bortch a mischievous look and says to him in a mischievous tone of voice):  "Hi!"

MOE to SHEMP:  (In a serious tone of voice says):  "Bortch, is the spy, that stole those government documents, we're turn that baby over to the authorities!"

BORTCH to LARRY:  (In a mad tone of voice and with a demented look on his face as he is squeezing Larry's neck and Larry is getting ready to yell in pain):  "Ssssssh!"

We now see the furiously mad Bortch getting out of his bed with his matchete style knife in his hand as he is madly approaching Moe and Shemp.

We now see Bortch standing behind Moe and Shemp with his knife posed and is strangling Larry and has a look of dementedness on his face.

MOE to SHEMP:  (In a very serious mood as he is handing Shemp all of the film tubes):  "Now, you hold this film for safe keeping, until we do away with that spy!"

BORTCH to MOE:  (As he is standing behind Moe says with a demented look on his face and a demented tone of voice):  "That's what you think!"

We now see Shemp putting the film tubes in his suit jacket pocket.

MOE to BORTCH:  (Not realizing he is talking to Bortch says to him in a state of mischief):  "That's what I said!"

MOE to BORTCH:  (Absolutely not knowing at the moment that his is talking to Bortch says):  "Hello!"

Moe says in a state of panic when he has realized it was Bortch he had talken to 'Hun, hunh!'

Bortch has now gotten ready to hit Moe with his knife just when Larry has socked Bortch in his stomach.

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE:  (In a horrible state of panic shouts loudly):  "RUN!"

We now see Larry and Moe running for safety in one direction as poor Shemp is being chased after the demented knife swinging Bortch.

BORTCH to SHEMP:  (As he has a demented look on his face and is chasing after Shemp with his shiv says):  "Give me that fillum!"

Shemp is now being cornered by the demented shiv swinging Bortch once again.

BORTCH to SHEMP:  (As Shemp is now standing there in a total state of horrified panic as Bortch is holding his knife over Shemp is shouting in a demented voice):  "Give me that fillum, I got you now, you rat!"

We are now on Moe and Larry who have found a pulley and Moe is throwing it at Bortch.

BORTCH to SHEMP:  (Just as Bortch is saying to Shemp):  "Let me have it!"

We are now seeing Bortch getting hit in the head with the pulley.

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is shaking Larry's hand in happiness says): "That took care of him!"

We now see the pulley swinging back and hitting Moe and Larry in their coconuts.  Moe and Larry are now falling to the floor totally knocked out with looks of pain on their faces as they are seeing 'stars' and hearing cookoo birds chirping.

Bortch is now sitting on one of the wooden crates in a state of dazement as he is rubbing his head in pain.

Moe and Larry are now coming too as they are shaking their heads and are getting up a bit dazed.

BORTCH to SHEMP:  (As he is shouting lougly at Shemp in a thorough demented state):  "Give me dat fillum, give me dat fillum, give me dat fillum, or I will kill ya!"

SHEMP to BORTCH:  (As Shemp has a look of mischief on his face as Shemp shouts to Bortch):  "I'll brain ya!"

BORTCH to SHEMP:  (As he is looking at Shemp dementedly):  "Ach, you!"

We are now on Larry and Moe who have looks of real maddness on their faces as Moe is once again taking hold of the pulley.

MOE to the PULLEY:  (In a wicked voice says):  "Do you stuff, baby!"  (Moe is now giving the pulley a kiss as he is flinging it).

Moe has now thrown the pulley as Bortch has now ducked and poor Shemp is now being hit in the coconut with it.  Shemp now has a very hurtful look on his face and is knocked out.

The pulley is now swinging back and Moe sees it coming and has ducked.  Poor Larry did not see it coming and is now getting hit in his coconut with it.  Once again Larry is falling to the ground and he is seeing 'stars' and hearing cookoo birds chirping again.

Moe is now standing up in a furious mood as he is grabbing hold of the pulley.

MOE to the PULLEY:  (In a state of thorough maddness):  "Why, you back biter, I'll take you in myself!"

Moe is now approaching Bortch with the pulley in his hand.  Bortch is searching every pocket of the knocked out Shemp's suit jacket for the 'fillum'!

Moe has now approached Bortch with the pulley in his hand and is tapping Bortch gently on his shoulder.

MOE to BORTCH:  (In a really mischievous mood says):  "Mr. Bortch!"

BORTCH to MOE:  (As Bortch is now turning around to see what Moe wants says in a loud demented voice):  "Yes!"

We now see poor Shemp still leaning next to a couple of petroleum drums still totally knocked out while Moe is hitting Bortch hard on his coconut with the pulley.

Bortch is now staggering a bit as he is now seeing 'stars' and hearing cookoo birds chirping.

END OF SHORT:

Moe is now running for some rope and is now tieing up the spy Bortch's feet.

Shemp is now coming too and is staggering a bit to regain his balance.

MOE to SHEMP:  (As Moe is tieing up Bortch and is saying to Shemp in a proud voice):  "Oh, boy, we got our scoop, we're reporters from now on, all's we gotta do now is notify the boss!"

Moe is now happily and in a slight devilish mood is finishing tieing up Bortch.

MOE to BORTCH:  (Moe is in a horrible state of maddness as he is finishing tieing Bortch up and yelling at Bortch):  "Y - O - U!"

SHEMP to MOE:  (As Shemp is now totally all right says to Moe in a state of happiness):  "You got him, nice work Moe!"

MOE to SHEMP:  (In a really serious mood says):  "We'll turn this bird over to the authorities at the first port, see if we're near land!"

SHEMP to MOE:  (As Shemp is saluting Moe and is bringing down his hand has hit Moe hard on his coconut says):  "Aih, aih, captain!"

MOE to SHEMP:  (In a mad state as he has now kicked Shemp in his bumm):  "Get out of here!"

We now see Shemp walking away from Moe and is approaching the porthole window again.

SHEMP to the PORTHOLE:  (As Shemp is now ducking below it in a precautionary state says):  "Oh no, not again!"

Shemp is now bent down on his knees as he is waving his hand back and forth over the open porthole window.  We now see Shemp with his hand on his forehead shading his eyes as he is peeking through the window.

THE SHORT FADES OUT:

With SHemp totally covered with mud.  He is now wiping it off of his face as he is happily shouting as he rapidly wiping off his face in total glee:  'L-A-N-D,   L-A-N-D,   L-A-N-D!"