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[ <- Transcripts List ] [ I'M A MONKEY'S UNCLE (1948) ]

Transcribed By: Moron4392
Date Added: 2011-03-16

"I'M A MONKEY'S UNCLE:"     {SHEMP, LARRY, AND MOE}:     {SHORT SUBJECT}:     {COLUMBIA STUDIOS}:     RELEASED ON:   OCTOBER 07, 1948:


We open "I'M A MONKEY'S UNCLE" with this very profound bit of wisdom:


"According to Darwin our Ancestors
hung from trees by their tails --
and thereby hangs our tale."

"Any similarity between the characters
in this picture and real monkeys is
definitely unfair to the monkeys."


It is now a beautiful Summers Day.  The birds are chirping.  The lions are roaring.  The trees are in full leafing.  A totally cloudless pale bleu skye-line.  The sun is in full shining.  The monkeys are talking.

We are now seeing the entrance way to a cave that has a grey stone bench in the door-way with two white rocks along side of the bench.  Plus in the inside of the cave door-way there is a huge pile of rocks and logs.

We are now inside of the cave where we are seeing 'Three Cave Men', by the names of Shemp, Moe, and Larry.  They are fast asleep on a black bare fur rug on the cave floor.  {SHEMP:  is dressed in a one piece groin cloth of black rabbit fur and he is wearing white rabbit fur booties}:  {MOE:  is dressed in a white rabbit fur sarong and a black rabbit fur groin cloth and he is barefooted}:  {LARRY:  is dressed in a one piece white rabbit fur groin cloth and he is also barefooted}:  They are also covered over with a black bare fur rug.  Moe is snoring and whistling in his sleep.  Shemp is snoring loudly and saying in his sleep;  {'heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba}.  Larry is just in a really peaceful slumber.

Their cave is decorated with a dining table and three chairs that are carved out of grey stone.  There are three bowls on the table that are carved out of cocoanut shells.  Bone cut cutlery.  Plus there is a butter churn that is also carved out of grey stone.  There is a lion skin rug on the floor.  One little sad, pathetic, mangy, and unloved full leafed scrub tree by Shemp.  Plus leaning on a wall by Larry there are three huge clubs that are carved out of tree trunks.

We are now back on the slumbering 'Cave Men' as Moe and Larry are sleeping peacefully snoring and whistling.  Shemp is still snoring loudly and saying {'Heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba}.  We are now seeing a rope that is tied to Moe's left big toe that leads to a dangling fish lure in a really lovely dark bleu babbling brooke.

Moe is now in the process of dreaming of the love of his life,  AGGIE:  {VIRGINIA HUNTER}:

MOE;  {In peaceful slumber with a really contented look on his face as he is saying in a really dreamy tone of a voice}:  "Aggie, Aggie, my angel, your face is so beautiful."  {Here we are seeing Shemp wide awake with a really gleeful and slightly embarrassed look on his face as Moe is still dreaming and is gently patting Shemp's left hand}:  "Your beautiful bleu eyes, darling I love you, I love you.  Oh, my sweetheart, my Killy Kalupabird."  {Here we are seeing Shemp at first with a really happy and mischievous grin on his face as he is now turning it into a mad look as Moe is now gingerly rubbing Shemp's chin in dreamy glee and is stating}:  "You need a shave!"  {Shem is now in the process of pushing Moe's hand away in utter disgust as Shemp is now turning on his right side to get away from the madly in love dreaming Moe}:

MOE:  {As Moe is still in his peaceful and dreamy state as he is now turning on his left side turning towards Larry as he is still dream talking}:  "My darling, I know you love me.  But, you're too shy to say so.  But, the petals on this gorgeous flower will prove it.  Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh.  She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not."  {Here we are seeing the love struck Moe now in the process of ripping Larry's hair from his head.  Larry is now awake and is sitting up in madness as he is now noticing that Moe is once again dreaming of Aggie.  Moe is now tweaking Larry's bugle}:

MOE:  {As he is still fast asleep and is dreaming of Aggie and is saying in his dream, love struck voice}:  "My darling, I'll give you security, the most beautiful cave in Mesopotamia.  What will you give me?"

LARRY to MOE:  {As Larry is now wide awake and is looking at the love struck Moe with a really mad look and is saying to him in a really mad voice to the love struck dreaming Moe}:  "THIS!"  {Here we are seeing Larry in thorough disgust and is returning the just favours back to Moe as Larry is now taking his right hand and is now socking Moe hard on his bugle}:

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe is now abruptly awakened from his sleep as Moe is looking at Larry with a wicked look and is shouting to Larry in a really evil tone of a voice}:  "What's the big idea?"

LARRY to MOE:  {As Larry is now looking at Moe with a really disgusted look and he is shouting to Moe in a really mean and wicked voice}:  "Wake up, and go to sleep!"

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe is now looking at Larry in a thorough state of disgust as Moe has now slapped Larry wickedly on his forehead and has given him several eyepokes and is shouting to Larry in a really evil tone of a voice}:  "Why, you, 'Pussy-Willow-Brain, you ruined a beautiful romance for me, lay down!"

We are now seeing Larry laying back down and resuming his sleep with a hurt look on his face as he is rubbing his face in pain.

Shemp, Moe, and Larry are now once again sleeping peacefully as Shemp is now dreaming and breathing so hard that he is now blowing the leaves righ off of that little tree by his side of the bed.  It has been several hours now as the loudly snoring 'Cave Men' were catching a few more Z's, as we are now seeing that poor, little, innocent, and helpless little scrub tree now totally leafless.

Moe is now being awakened from his slumber as he is now feeling the rop tugging his toe.  Moe is now un-covering himself and is bent at his waist as he is now following the rope outside as Moe is greeting a really gorgeous Summers Day.  Pale bleu, cloudless skye-line, a sun in full shine.  Couple of hazed over grey mountains in the background.  Fully leafed out Maple and scrub trees.  Moe is now following his rope across a beautiful stone and wood chip lined side-line as he is now pulling the fish lure and line from the beautiful dark bleu babbling brooke as he has now noticed that he has snagged himself a beautiful five pound fish.

MOE to HIS FISH:  {As Moe has a gleeful look on his face as he is now removing the fish lure from the fishes mouth and the rope from his toe as he is placing the rope down on the side-line and saying in a really proud tone of a voice}:  "Oh, a beauty, oh boy!"

Moe is now holding onto his fish as he is now entering back into their cave as he is now taking one of the clubs and is gently tapping Larry on his forehead to wake him up.

LARRY to MOE:  {As Larry is now waking up, yawning, and stretching with a cheery look on his face as he is now approaching the beautiful new day that lays ahead of him and is saying to Moe in a really happy voice with a gigantic smile on his face}:  "Aaaaha, good morning!"

Now we are seeing Moe walking over to the snoring Shemp still holding his fish with a really mischievous look on his face as he is taking the club and is gently tapping Shemp in three different places on his forehead;  {As we are now hearing chimes playing}.  In the process of also waking Shemp up.

SHEMP to MOE:  {As Shemp is now waking up, stretching, and yawning in a state of glee as he too is now in the process of greeting the lovely day that lays ahead of him with a huge and happy look on his face as he is stating to Moe in a really gleeful voice}:  "Oh, top of the morning!"

MOE to SHEMP:  {As Moe is now looking at Shemp with a really disgusted look on his face as Moe is saying to Shemp in a disgusted voice as Moe gives Shemp one last boink on the top of his cocoanut with the club}:  "And, the top of the morning to you!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {As Moe is now proudly showing them the fish and is stating in a proud and gleeful voice}:  "Look what we got for breakfast!"

SHEMP to MOE:  {As we are hearing the fish barking at Shemp as Shemp is saying to Moe in a really gleeful voice}:  "Oh, boy, a dog-fish!"

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE:  {As Larry is now in a full-blown state of mischief states}:  "I hope it ain't got fleas!"

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe is looking at Larry with a disgusted look and Moe has now given Larry a really hard smack on his forehead and some more eyepokes is shouting at him wickedly}:  "Quiet!"

MOE to SHEMP:  {As Moe is saying to Shemp in a really mischievous tone of a voice as Moe is now handing the dog-fish to Shemp as he is saying in a mischievous voice}:  "Now, you get this ready for breakfast, while Larry and I go take a dip!"

MOE to SHEMP:  {As Moe is having a quick second thought is looking at Shemp with a dazed look on his face as he is asking Shemp in a questionable voice}:  "Wait a minute, did you take a bath?"

SHEMP to MOE:  {As Shemp is looking at Moe with a smirky, mischievous smile is stating to Moe in a really mischievous voice}:  "What's the matter, is there one missing?"

MOE to SHEMP:  {As Moe is now in a mad state as he is now slapping Shemp in the face with the fishes tail and is shouting at him wickedly as Moe is now handing Shemp the dog-fish}:  "Go on, go on!"  

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe is now pointing the way to the lovely babbling brooke and is shouting to Larry}:  "Let's go!"

LARRY to MOE:  {As Larry is looking at Moe with a mad look and is saying to Moe in a low, and monotone voice}:  "To the water!"

We are now in the process of seeing Shemp getting things ready for cooking their fish.  Shemp has now placed the fish down on a rock as he is now kneeling down in front of the cold fire pit as he is blowing into it to see if there are any signs of a fire left, and there is not.  Shemp has now blown on the cold fire pit as he is now being covered with soot and ashes.

SHEMP to the FIRE PIT:  {As he has now been showered with soot and ashes in a really disgusted voice}:  "Teetaa-teetaa-teetaa-teetaa-teetaa-teetaa, how do you like that?  The fire went out.  Hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha, I'll fix that!

We are now seeing the soot covered Shemp as he is now taking a bunch of dry leaves and twigs and placing them on the fire pit as he is now picking up his little rock-o-lighter.

SHEMP to his ROCK-O-LIGHTER:  {As Shemp now has a really determined look on his face as he is 'Flicking His Bic' several times with a mischievous look on his face}:  "Ah, my trusty little rock lighter, don't fail me baby, don't fail me baby!"

SHEMP to his FIRE PIT:  {As Shemp has now gotten the leaves and twigs ignited says to it in a really happy tone of a voice}:  "There we are!"

We are now hearing Shemp humming joyfully as he is now in the process of getting a gigantic log and is spitting on his hands as he is now getting his axe and is in the process of chopping the log to put it on the fire.  Shemp has now chopped the log into two pieces as he has now temporally lost the second piece as he is looking around for it.  We are now locating the lost piece of log as it is falling back down and is hitting Shemp hard on the head causing Shemp to loose his ba-lance and falling back to one of the walls.  The log has now hit Shemp hard on the head and has split in a dozen or so little pieces.

SHEMP to the LOG:  {As Shemp is now in a total state of joy as he has now noticed the splitting of the log into little pieces as he is picking up the pieces and putting them on the fire}:  "Oh-oh-oh-oh, kindling!  Hunha-hunha-hunha-hunh!"

Shemp has now placed the kindling on the fire and has gotten it ignited in a state of glee as we are hearing the 'MILK MAN',  {HEINE CONKLIN}:  calling out to Shemp:  "Milk Man!"

SHEMP to the MILK MAN:  {As Shemp has now pointed a finger in his direction and has a happy look on his face as he is now in the process of getting their milk pail and is wiping the soot off of his face as he is now going out to greet him}:  "Okay, be right with ya!"

SHEMP to the MILK MAN:  {As Shemp is now handing him their milk pail and is stating to him in a really happy tone of a voice}:  "Fill-err-up!"

MILK MAN to his BEAUTIFUL GUERNESY COW:  {As the milk man is now placing Shemp's milk pail on the ground}:  "Whoa, Sassafras, whoa!"

The Milk Man is now filling up Shemp's milk pail as Shemp is standing behind him in a total state of mischief as Shemp is mimicking the milk man and is singing happily and mischievously}:  "Ya-dee-da-da, ya-dee-da-da, ya-dee-da-da, ya-dee-da-da, ya-dee-da-da, ya-dee-da-da, ya-dee-da-da, ya-dee-da-da, ya-dee-da-da, ya-dee-da-da, ya-dee-da-da, ya-dee-da-da!"

Sassafras is now spraying Shemp square in his kisser with some of her milk as Shemp is now saying back to her, 'Heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba; ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff.  Shemp is now in the process of tasting a tad of the milk as he is stating mischievously; 'Aaaaha, homogenised!"

We are now seeing a lovely setting of a beautiful cloudless pale bleu skye-line with a full sun shining, several greyish-lavenderish hazed covered mountains in the background that are lined with lovely full leafed Maple trees and scrub flowers.  As we are now seeing the lovely dark bleu babbling brooke that is outlined with gorgeous full leafed Maple and scrub trees and scrub flowers as Moe and Larry are now in the process of taking their bathes.

We are now seeing Larry bent at his waist looking at the water as Moe is now totally bent over and is kneeling down as he is taking pawsful of water and is splashing his face with the as he is stating after each pawful, 'Bruha-bruha-bruha-bruha-bruha-bruha-bruha-bruha-bruha-bruha-bruha-bruha."

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe is looking at Larry with a perplexed look on his face as he is asking Larry in a questionable voice}:  "Where's the towels?"   {Here we are seeing Larry pointing to a branch to their towels that are gigantic leaves}:  "Oh, Shemp, Larry, Moe."   {Here we are seeing Moe pointing at the towels}:

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe has now finished wiping down his face as Larry was taking his towel and was preparing to bathe until Moe said to him in a low and carrying voice}:  "Boy, the water sure is cold today!"

LARRY to MOE:  {As Larry is squatting there with his eyes bugging out of his head in fear is saying to Moe in a really low and dazed tone of a voice}:  "Yeah!"

We are now seeing Larry putting a sprinkling of water on his face as he is now drying down his entire body with his leaf towel.

Moe has now noticed that Larry has only put a sprinkling of water on his face as Moe is now approaching Larry in a disgusted state.

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe now has a really wicked look on his face as he is stating to Larry in a really disgusted voice}:  "All bathed for the day?"

LARRY to MOE:  {As Larry is now looking at Moe with a really mischievous look and is still holding onto his towel}:  "Yes, sir!"

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe now has a devious look on his face as he is now once again kneeling at the brooke's edge as Larry is now following suite}:  "That's fine, hey look!"

LARRY to MOE:  {As Larry is now looking closely into the babbling brooke and says to Moe in a low, and monotone voice}:  "What?"

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe is now in a thorough state of disgust as he is now shoving Larry's face into the water}:  "This!"

We are now seeing Larry struggling for his life as Larry is flapping his arms up and down and kicking his legs up and down as Moe has him under-water for several minutes.

Larry is now coming up for aire as he has a really hurtful look on his face and is shouting in pain, 'Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha;  hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha!"  Larry is now bringing up with him hooked to his nose a really beautiful and small Painted Turtle.

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe is looking at Larry with a dazed look on his face as he is gleefully removing the turtle from Larry's nose and is holding the turtle in happiness}:  What do you know?  A fish for breakfast, a turtle for lunch.  Here, bring this in the house and give it to Shemp.  I'll look around and see what I can find for supper!"

LARRY to MOE:  {As Larry has a really wicked look on his face as he is now shouting to Moe in a really evil voice}:  "Here, hang-up my towel to dry, and don't wrinkle it!"

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe is now slightly bowing to Larry with an evil look on his face and is using a wicked tone of a voice as he is now slapping Larry on the face with it}:  "Certainly, your hiness.  Get outta here, go ahead.  Take the turtle, here!"  {We are now seeing Moe pitching the turtle to Larry}:

We are now back inside of their cave where we are now seeing Shemp taking the crème and is pouring it into the butter churn.

LARRY to SHEMP:  {As Larry is now happily running into the cave and is saying to Shemp in a really gleeful tone of a voice}:  "Look, we got for lunch, a turtle!"

SHEMP to LARRY:  {As Shemp now has a really happy look on his face and is saying to Larry in a really gleeful voice as Shemp is now putting the lid on the butter chrun}:  "Oh, swell.  You're just in time to help me make butter!"

LARRY to SHEMP:  {As Larry is now looking at Shemp with a reallly happ look as he is now putting the turtle down on the table and is asking Shemp in a really happy tone of a voice}:  "Is the crème in the churn?"

SHEMP to LARRY:  {As Shemp is holding onto the butter churn with a really mischievous look on his face as he is stating to the mischievously smiling Larry}:  "Oh, we're all set, let's go!"

We are now seeing Shemp and Larry making butter.  Shemp is holding the butter churn as Larry is now standing behind Shemp and is tickling his ribs as Shemp is now laughing hysterically;  {'Haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa; huba-huba-huba-huba-huba-huba-huba-huba-huba-huba; ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff}.  Shemp is now jumping up and down as he is shaking the butter churn wildly as Larry is also laughing hysterically;  {'Haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa; huba-huba-huba-huba-huba-huba-huba-huba-huba-huba; ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff}.  Shemp has now successfully churned the crème into butter.

SHEMP to LARRY:  {As they have been churning the butter for a good ten minutes now as Shemp has stopped shaking the churn and is saying to Larry in a really serious voice}:  "Wait a minute, I think it is done, go and get the bowl."

We are now seeing Larry running over to their dining table as he is now bringing to Shemp a bowl to put the butter into.

SHEMP to LARRY:  {As Shemp is now dumping the butter into the bowl is saying in a happy tone of a voice}:  "Here, oh boy, Grade A!"

LARRY to SHEMP:  {As Larry is now looking at the butter in happiness and is saying in a low and happy voice}:  "Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh!"

We are now seeing Moe as he is outside in a beautiful surroundings of several sun-lit mountains in the background.  Severaly lovely full leafed scrub trees, pale bleu, cloudless skye, full sun.  A rocky shoreline, and a beautiful aqua bleu babbling brooke.  Moe is now in the process of thinking about looking for something for their supper.

Instead, Moe is having second thoughts of that as he has now decided to enjoy the beautiful warm sun as he is stretching, yawning, and sitting down and leaning against a tree to take a siesta.

As Moe is now fast asleep we are now seeing a Mina bird;  {suppose to be a Crow}; landing on the top of Moe's head and has now pecked Moe several times on his head.  Moe is now awake and thoroughly disgusted with the Mina-Crow as Moe is now picking up his club and hopes to hit it with it, but the bird has now flown away as Moe has now hit himself hard on the top of his head with it, and is now blinking and rubbing his head in pain and is stating;  {'Owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha'}.

Moe is now sitting there 'Bright Eyed and Bushie Tailed' as he is now hearing the quacking of a duck.

We are now seeing a very beautiful Male Mallard Duck sitting on the beautiful tree-lined babbling brooke, quacking gaily in the beautiful sunny day.

Moe is now in the process of slowly and quietly standing up with his club in his hand as he is now approaching the little duck.

MOE:  {As he is saying to himself in a quiet and mischievous tone of a voice}:  "Oh, boy, a duck for dinner!"

Moe is now in the state of camouflaging himself as he is now holding a small sprigged of leaves over his face as he is quietly walking into the babbling brooke with his club in his hand as he is now hoping to pinch himself a duck for their supper.

Moe is now in the beautiful babbling brooke as he is now having 'The Battle Of The Wits' with the duck.  Moe has now entered the brooke with his club in his right hand and his sprigged of leafing camouflage over his face as he is now approaching the wise-acre duck and is removing his camouflaging from his face as he is now trying to take a wack at the duck as we are now seeing Moe completely missing his mark as the duck is now mischievously squirting water at Moe on his face.

Moe now has a really disgusted look on his face as he is now taking his club and is wickedly smacking the water with it hoping that it was the duck.  But we are now seeing the duck laughing hysterically at Moe as he has now merrily swam away.

MOE to the DUCK:  {As Moe now has a really evil look on his face and is splashing the water in his face as he is now clubbing the water in all directions hoping to get that rascally duck.  Moe has now has noticed that he was not very successful so he is now looking around the brooke for the trouble making duck as Moe is shouting loudly and madly at the duck in an evil voice}:  "A wise-guy, ehy?  I'll get you!"

We are now seeing that cute, rascally, little duck getting one up on Moe as Moe is now bent at the waist and is looking in all directions in front of himself for the duck as Moe is now walking backwards and not noticing the duck as that rascally little critter has now bitten Moe on his left thigh.

Moe is now yelling at the top of his lungs in horrible pain;  {'Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha'}; and has a really hurtful look on his face.

Moe has now discovered that the rascally little critter is now behind him as Moe is turning around with a really evil and wicked look on his face as he is now taking his club and is wildly smacking the water in all directions once again with it.  As Moe was smacking one portion of the brooke we are now seeing that wise-acre of a duck swimming into another part of the brooke.

We are now in the process of seeing Moe and the duck playing 'Cat and Mouse' games with one another.  Moe is now thoroughly disgusted with that rascally little duck that he is now smacking the water in all directions completely out of control.  Just as Moe smacks the water where the duck was for a split second the rascally critter has moved to another spot.  This is now going on for about ten minutes now.

The duck has now temporally hidden from Moe by diving completely under-water as we are now seeing Moe bending over and getting really close to the water looking for the wise-acre duck.  Moe has now decided to dive completely under the water for the rascally little critter.

That completely cute and mischievous duck is now sneaking up on Moe as he is now biting Moe on his nose.

MOE to the DUCK:  {As Moe now has a really hurtful look on his face as Moe is fumming at the mouth and is thoroughly disgusted with that smart little duck to the enth-degree as Moe is saying to him in a horrible state of pain;  'Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha; hemha-hemha-hemha-hemha-hemha-hemha'; I'll tear your tonsils out!"

Moe is now once again diving underneath the water, as he is once again searching for that rascally, cute, wise-acre of duck as he now wants to pinch him big time.

MOE to the DUCK:  {As Moe is now standing up with a really evile look on his face as he is saying to the duck as Moe has now idea that the duck is now riding on Moe's back}:  "Here duck-duck.  Here duckie-duckie!"

We are now seeing Shemp and Larry coming out of their cave with arrows and bow sets as ther are now seeing the duck.

LARRY to SHEMP:  {As Larry now has a really wicked look on his face as he is stating to Shemp in a really gleeful voice}:  "Look, a duck!"

Moe is now far enough below the hege-line of the water as he is now walking around looking for that cute and rascally little critter that he has no idea is on his back as we are seeing Shemp and Larry loading their bows with arrows as they are now shooting at the duck that they are thinking is walking along the hedge-line as they do not know that the duck is on Moe's back.

Shemp and Larry both have gleeful looks on their faces as they are now shooting their arrows at the duck.  They have now completely missed that rascally critter and have now shot Moe hard in his right side.

Moe is now standing up with a really hurtful look on his face as he is now removing the arrows form his side and is yelling painfully;  ''Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha; ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh.

Larry and Shemp have now noticed that they just shot Moe as they are standing their with their eyes bugging out of their heads and really scared looks on their faces as Larry is shouting 'Yeowha-hooha; yeowha-hooha; yeowha-hooha; yeowha-hooha; yeowha-hooha; yeowha-hooha.'  Shemp is yelling in a horrible state of frantic panic 'Heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba'.  As they are now high tailing it back into their cave for protection in horrible states of fear and panic hoping that the will not be caught by Moe.

We are now seeing Shemp, Larry, and Moe sitting at their dining table with gleeful looks on their faces as they are now wiping their faces with their leaf napkins as Larry and Shemp are picking their fangs with fish-bone fang-picks as they have now finished their gourmet Dog-fish.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {As Moe has now finished wiping down his face and is saying to them in a really thankful tone of a voice}:  "Boy, that was good!"

SHEMP to LARRY and MOE:  {As Shemp is now finishing wiping his face and is stating in a really happy tone of a voice}:  "Oh, that fish was delicious!"

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE:  {As Larry also has finished wiping his face and has a really contented look on his face as he is stating to them in a joyful tone of a voice}:  "I'll say!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {As Moe now has a really happy look on his face as he is stating to them in a really gleeful tone of a voice}:  "Well, I think I'll get dolled up!"

We are now seeing Moe getting dolled up as he is now in the process of taking a piece of fur as he is now holding onto a hollowed out cocoanut shell that is being used as a bowl that is filled with shaving lather as he now has a fur lather brush and is now liberally applying it to his face in glee.

We are hearing Moe singing in glee as he is in the process of getting dolled up as he is now taking a piece of fur as he is now holding onto a hollowed out cocanut shell that is filled with shaving later as he is still liberally applying it to his kisser.  {'Haha-haha-haha-haha-haha-haha-haha-haha; "She'll be coming around the mountain, when she comes!"}:

SHEMP and LARRY:  {In a mischievous state as they are tapping their fingers on the table and are singing in unison mischief}:  "When she comes!"

MOE:  {In a really happy state as he has now finished applying the shaving lather to his face and is still singing in a really happy state}:  "She'll be coming around the mountain, when she comes!"

SHEMP and LARRY:  {As they both still have mischievous looks on their faces as they are once again tapping their fingers on the dining table and are singing in unison mischief}:  "When she comes!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {As Moe is sitting at their dining table with his face covered in shaving lather and a look of happiness on his face as he is now taking a razor that is a gigantic sharp stone tied to a large piece of wood with a rope and is shaving his face with it and is stating to them gleefully}:  "Say, you know fellas, I dreamed about Aggie again last night, what a gal!"

LARRY to SHEMP:  {As Larry is saying to Shemp in a really low and mischievous tone of a voice}:  "Oh, boy, I'll say she's a delicious dish!"

SHEMP to LARRY:  {As Shemp is now stating to Larry in a low, monotone and slightly mad voice and with a mad look on his face}:  "Dish, yowzir, she's a flying saucer!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {As Moe now has a really mean look on his face as he is now taking a whip and is slapping the two of them across their faces and is shouting to them in a low and mad tone of a voice}:  "Hey, talk respectful when you're talking about my tomato!  Now, listen, if you behave yourselves, I'll let you meet Aggie's two sisters!"

LARRY to MOE:  {As Larry is now sitting there at the table with a look of glee on his face as he is now asking Moe in a really gleeful tone of a voice}:  "Are they pretty!?"

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe is sitting at the table still shaving his face is answering Larry back in a serious tone of a voice and with a serious look on his face}:  "I don't know, I never met them!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {As Moe is still primping himself as he is now applying some cologne to his face in a total state of glee}:  "Just what I want, oh, boy, my favourite; 'Lilly Of The Alley'!"

SHEMP to MOE:  {As Shemp is looking at Moe with a serious look on hisf ace and is asking Moe in a serious tone of a voice}:  "Boy, can I have some cologne, I want to smell good!"

MOE to SHEMP:  {As Moe is now looking at Shemp with an evil look and is saying to him in a really wicked tone of a voice}:  "You smell, good!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {In a really mischievous state as he is now in the state of completing the last bit or primping as he now has a really happy look on his face as he is now noticing the butter bowl and is taking a large pawful of it and is applying it to his hair like 'Brillé Crème.'}:  "Fresh butter, oh boy, butter.  I'll doll myself up like never before!"

MOE to LARRY;  {As Moe is now looking at Larry and is asking Larry in a serious tone of a voice}:  "Hey, Larry pass me the comb!"  {Here we are seeing Larry passing Moe a comb that is a fish skeleton}:

We are now hearing Aggie and her two sisters standing outside of their cave as they are now in a huddle and are laughing and joking with one another.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {As Moe is now hearing the three sisters laughing in glee outside of their cave}:  "Hey, there's Aggie and her two sisters!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {As Moe is now picking up his club in a mischievous gleeful state as he is saying to them in a happy tone of a voice}:  "It look's like I'm going courting!"

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE:  {As Larry now has a really happy look on his face and is using a gleeful tone of a voice as he too has now picked up his club}:  "Me, too!"

SHEMP to MOE and LARRY:  {As Shemp too is using a happy tone of a voice and has a gleeful look on his face as he is picking up his club and is giving it a kiss}:  "Me, three, be still my beating heart.  On with it, on with it!"

We are now in the process of seeing the 'Three Love Struck Cave Men' as they are now going outside and are taking their clubs and hitting the three sisters gently over their heads.

MAGGIE;  {NANCY SAUNDERS}:  to AGGIE;  {VIRGINIA HUNTER}:  and BAGGIE;  {DEE GREEN}:  {As the three sisters are still in their huddle and laughing and joking with one another as Maggie is saying to them in a low and mischievous voice}:  "Let's just ignore them, girls!"

We are now once again seeing 'The Three Love Stricken Cave Men' gently once again hitting the girls on their heads with their clubs.

MOE to AGGIE:  {As Moe has a really happy look on his face as he is shouting to her in a really gleeful tone of a voice}:  "Aggie, Aggie, hiya toots!"

AGGIE to MOE:  {As she and her two sisters are now turning around with leaf fans over their faces and looking at them with really mischievous looks on their faces as she is saying to Moe in a mischievous and slightly flirty tone of a voice like she has just notice Moe and his 'Cave Mates' for the first time}:  "Oh, hello Moe, what do you know?"

SHEMP and LARRY to AGGIE, MAGGIE, and BAGGIE:  {As they are now looking at the three sisters with really gleeful looks on their faces as they are now doing a little shuffle dance and are using a sing-song style of a voice}:  "We just got back from a dinosaur show, yeah!"

MOE to AGGIE, MAGGIE, and BAGGIE:  {As Moe is now laughing slightly and has a look of mischief on his face as he is saying to them}:  "Hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha, I want you to meet my 'Cave Mates', Larry and Shemp!"

AGGIE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {As she is now lowering he fan and is a really lovely looking lady as she has really beautiful smile on her face and is about 5' 9" and 120 pounds and is using a gleeful voice}:  "I'm Aggie!"  {Aggie is dressed in a black fur dress, knee-length, with a leopard skin belt, a white string of flowers around her neck.  Her brunette hair is curled slightly and is parted down the left side and is being held in place by a giant orchid flower hair clip and she is barefooted}.

MAGGIE to SHEMP, MOE, and LARRY:  {As she too has a fan in front of her face as she is now lowering it and has a really beautiful smile on her face and is swaying slightly from side to side and is using a joyfurl tone of a voice as she is also about 5' 9" and 120 pounds}:  "I'm Maggie!"  {Maggie is also a very beautiful lady, dressed in a white fur sleeveless dress, and also a flower necklace around her neck.  Her curled blonde hair is also parted at the side and is being held in place with a large orchid flower hair clip}.

BAGGIE to SHEMP, MOE, and LARRY:  {As she too has a fan covering her face is now lowering it and is looking at them with a really gleeful look on her face as she is also swaying from side to side and is using a gleeful voice}.  "I'm Baggie!"  {We are now seeing Baggie, she is about 5' 5" and 200 pounds and she is dressed in a leopard skin dress, black fur belt, her gently curled blonde hair is slightly filthy, and she has a flower hair clip pinned on a pony-tail at the back of her head, and she has several of her fangs missing}.

SHEMP to BAGGIE:  {As Shemp is now looking at her with a really scared look and has flinched a tad in fear and he is saying to her in a worried tone of a voice}:  "You're telling me!"

We are now seeing 'Three Other Cave Men' who are thoroughly mad as they are seeing Aggie, Maggie, and Baggie flirting with Moe, Shemp, and Larry.

MAD CAVE MAN DRESSED IN LEOPARD SARONG;  {CY SHINDELL}:  to the OTHER TWO CAVE MEN:  {As we are now seeing the 'Three Other Cave Men' standing there with really mean looks on their faces as they are holding onto spears and the first cave man states to his cave mates as he is pointing a finger in the direction of Moe, Larry, and Shemp}:  "Look, they're stealing our women!"

MOE to AGGIE, MAGGIE, and BAGGIE:  {As Moe has now noticed the very irate other cave men and is concerned about the women as he is stating to them in a really carrying tone of a voice}:  "Into the cave, girls!"

We are now happily seeing Moe with Aggie over his shoulder as Larry now has Maggie over his shoulder and poor Shemp is left with Baggie as he is now in the process of running for his life as Baggie is now chasing after him and has now caught up with him and has now knocked him to the ground as she is now carrying Shemp back to the entrance of their cave as she is now setting him down at the door-way of their cave as she is now joining her sisters inside of their cave.

As Moe, Shemp, and Larry were seeing the girls were safe in their cave as they are giving them a tiny peck on their cheeks the other three cave men have now chucked their spears as the spears are now sticking Moe, Shemp, and Larry in their keesters.

We are seeing Aggie, Maggie, and Baggie with horrified looks of fear on their faces due to the fact that Shemp, Larry, and Moe have now had their keester's stabbed.

We are now seeing Shemp, Larry, and Moe with horrified looks of pain on their faces as they are yelling at the top of their lungs in pain; 'yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-ooh, as they are now turning around in the direction of the other cave men and are giving them mean and really demented looks of madness.

LEOPARD DRESSED CAVE MAN to SHEMP, MOE, and LARRY:  {As he and his other tow 'Cave Mates' are looking at Shemp, Moe, and Larry with evil looks as the Leopard Cave Man is shouting wickedly to them}:  "You stole our girls, you horse thieves!"

CAVE MAN DRESSED IN BLACK SARONG;  {BILL WALLACE}:  to MOE, SHEMP, AND LARRY:  {As he is looking at them wickedly and is shouting to them in a really evil tone of a voice}:  "We want them back!"

As the girls have now come back out to see what is going on as Moe, Larry, and Shemp are afraid that they might get hurt.

SHEMP to AGGIE, MAGGIE, and BAGGIE:  {As Shemp now has a really worried look on his face as he is shouting to them in a really carrying voice as he is pointing a finger at their cave}:  "Get in the cave, girls!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {As Moe, Shemp, and Larry are now looking at the other cave men with really evil looks on their faces as Moe is now waving a finger in the aire and is saying to Shemp and Larry in a really mean tone of a voice}:  "I'll protect those girls, to the last drop of your blood!"  {Here we are seeing Moe pointing a finger at Shemp}:

We are now seeing Shemp flinch a tad in fear  at Moe's statement as Larry also has a look of fear on his face.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY:  {As Moe now has a really wicked look on his face as Larry and Shemp have looks of fear on their faces}:  "Come on, I'll man the gun, ammunition, on the run!"

We are now seeing Moe, Shemp, and Larry with their "GUN" which is "SWINGING TREE BRANCH!".

We are now seeing Larry handing Moe their first piece of ammunition which is a huge, white rock as Moe is now loading their 'GUN' and is pulling the trigger as he is now hitting the Cave Man Dressed In The Black Fur Sarong square on his forehead and is knocking him out old as he is now falling flat on his back to the ground.

We are now seeing Shemp standing in front of their 'TREE GUN' as he is looking at Moe with a really dazed look on his face as Moe is now loading their 'GUN' with more ammunition which consists of a large ball of manure that was given to him by Larry as Moe is now in the process of shooting off their gun.

SHEMP to MOE:  {As Shemp is now helping Moe getting the ammunition loaded correctly in their 'TREE GUN' is saying to Moe in a really serious voice and with a mischievous look on his face}:  "No, no, a little to the left, about a half inch!"

MOE to SHEMP:  {As Moe is now re-positioning the ammunition as Shemp has directed him now has a really devious look on his face as Moe is saying to Shemp in a low tone of a voice}:  "Okay!"

SHEMP to MOE:  {As Shemp now has a really evil look on his face as he is stating to Moe in a really devious and slightly mischievous tone of a voice}:  "That's it, fire!"

Moe has now shot their gun off as we are now seeing the Cave Man Dressed In The Leopard Sarong getting his square in his kisser with the manure ball as he is now wiping if off of his face in a horrible state of dementedness as he is looking at Shemp, Larry, and Moe with a really evil look on his face.

We are now seeing the Cave Man Dressed In The Leopard Sarong wiping the manure off of his face as he has a really evil look on his face as he is saying madly;  {'Ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa'}.

We are now seeing the really mischievous Larry with a really demented look on his face as he is now bringing Moe more ammunition for their gun which was a really decade fish.  

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe has a really devilish look on his face as he is stating to Larry in a really low and demented voice as Moe is loading the ammunition into the barrel of their gun}:  "Oh, boy!"

Moe has now fired their gun as the decade fish goes sailing through the aire and is hitting the 'THIRD CAVE MAN';  {JOE PALMA}:  {He is dressed in a white rabbit fur sarong, black rabbit fur groin cloth and is barefooted}.  He is now pushing the fish from his face and is rubbing his face and cocoanut in a state of pain as he now has a really embarrassed look on his face and is saying;  {'Unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha}, as he is staggering and regaining his ba-lance as his other Cave Mates are looking at him to see if he is all right.

We are now back on Shemp, Moe, and Larry as they are standing there with really wicked looks on their faces as they are now winning the battle for the girls as of now.

SHEMP to LARRY:  {As Shemp is now handing to Larry in a full blown state of mischief another piece of ammunition for their gun which is another gigantic white rock as he is using a really mischievous tone of a voice};  "Here, Larry, have this block-buster!"

We are now in the process of seeing Larry firing off the gigantic white rock as Larry is now hitting the second cave man;  {the one dressed in the full-length black sarong square in the kisser as he is now once again falling backwards to the ground.

While Shemp and Larry were using their gun we were seeing Moe standing in front of the gun a tad to Larry's right as Moe too has a really devious and mischievou look on his face.

LARRY to SHEMP:  {As Larry is now taking from Shemp another ball of manure and is stating to Shemp in a really mischievous tone of a voice}:  "Oh, okay!"

As Larry was loading their 'TREE GUN' with Shemp's latest addition of ammunition we are now seeing the other three cave men running like 'Chickens With Their Heads Cut Off', in a state of scaredness for cover behind a gigantic grey rock.

Larry is in a state of devious mischief has now shot another huge white boulder at the other cave men but has now missed his mark and has hit the other gigantic rock with his boulder as the other three'Chicken Livered Cave Men' are now still hiding behind that rock for cover.

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe now has a really wicked look on his face as he is stating to Larry in a really wicked tone of a voice as Larry is now loading the latest piece of ammunition that Moe has given him which is another manure ball}:  "A little to the left, a little more!"

We are now seeing Larry trying to follow Moe's instructions at first as Larry lets go of the trigger not noticing where he was shooting as Larry is yelling at the top of his lungs in pain as Larry is now getting stung by a hornet.

Larry has now chased the hornet away as he is now looking back in the direction of Moe as he has now noticed that he has hit Moe square in his kisser with the ammunition ball instead of one of the other cave men.

Larry is now standing there bug-eyed and is now cringing in a state of fear and panic as he has now noticed that he shot Moe with the ammunition instead of one of the other cave men.

We are now seeing Moe approaching Larry in a really disgusted state as he is now wiping manure from his face.

LARRY to MOE:  {As Larry is now using hand gestures to support himself as he now has a really scared look on his face as he is using a panicking tone of a voice as Moe is now removing some of the manure from his face as Moe is approaching Larry totally disgusted}:  "Wait a minute, Moe, there's an explination, I'm sorry!"

MOE to LARRY:  {As we are now seeing Moe still with his dirty face as he is looking at the really terrified Larry with a really wicked look on his face as Moe is now shouting to Larry in a thoroughly disgusted tone of a voice as Moe is now slapping Larry square across his kisser and is giving him a few eyepokes}:  "What's the matter, don't you know how to fire a gun?  What's the matther, with you, get some ammunition will yas, hurry up!"

LARRY to MOE:  {As Larry is now rubbing his face in pain and is stating to Moe in a really low, monoton and painful voice as Larry is now getting some more ammunition}:  "Okay!"

We are now in the process of seeing the scared and hurt Larry handing to Moe a hornets nest as Moe is now loading the gun barrel with it.

We are now getting a quick peak of the other cave man that is dressed in the leopard sarong as he is now quickly taking cover behind the gigantic rock as the rock is now getting bombarded by the hornets nest that Moe has now shot.

LEOPARD DRESSED CAVE MAN to MOE:  {As he is now looking out from behind the gigantic rock with a really mischievous look on his face as he is now sticking his tongue out and is saying to Moe in a really mischievous voice}:  "You missed me, 'haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haahaa-haaha'.

We are now seeing Larry in a really mischievous state as he is now re-loading their gun with another manure ball and is firing it quickly as the Leopard Dressed Cave Man is now caught off guard as he is now getting plastered square in the kisser with it.

We are now seeing and hearing the Leopard Dressed Cave Man with a really hurtful look on his face as he is wiping it from his face and moaning in pain;  'Yeowha-oooh; yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, in a horrible state of pain and madness.

We are now back on the dementedly crazed out Moe and Larry as they are now standing behind their gun with really wicked looks on their faces as Moe still has some manure on his face that Larry shot him with.

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe is now jumping up and down in total glee and with a really evil look on his face as Larry is standing by Moe's right side waving his arms to and fro also with a really evil look on his face as Moe is stating to Larry in really evil voice}:  "What a shot!"

SHEMP to MOE and LARRY:  {As Shemp is now running up to the two of them with a really happy look on his face as he is stating to Moe and Larry in a really proud tone of a voice as he is handing to Moe and Larry a boids nest filled with cackle fruit}:  "Look, what I found!"

LARRY to SHEMP:  {As Larry is looking at Shemp really joyfully as he is stating to Shemp in a really gleeful tone of a voice}:  "Oh, eggs!"

MOE to SHEMP:  {As Moe now is saying to Shemp in a really happy tone of a voice and a mischievous look on his face}:  "Perfect!"

We are now seeing Moe loading their gun barrel with the nest of eggs in a really gleeful and totally mischievous state as Moe is now firing the eggs and is hitting other cave man that is dressed in the white rabbit fur sarong and black rabbit fur groin cloth.

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE:  {As Moe, Shemp, and Larry all are standing there jumping up and down in mischievous glee and with huge mischievous grins on their faces as Larry is stating to them mischievously}:  "Oh, boy, a bulls-eye!"

We are now seeing that Cave Man standing there with a really demented look on his face as he is now wearing two of the eggs like earrings as he also has two of them covering each eye like spectacles and he is wearing the nest like a hat.

We are now seeing the Cave Man throwing the nest to the ground and is wiping the eggs off of his face with a really demented look on his face.

We are now seeing the other three cave men in a super, mad, and demented state with evil looks on their faces as they have their spears pointing outwards and are now slowly approaching Moe, Shemp, and Larry to seek revenge.

MOE to LARRY:  {As Moe is now looking at Larry with a really mischievous look on his face as he is stating to Larry in a really mischievous tone of a voice}:  "Get the poisonous gas, Larry!"

We are now in the process of seeing Larry to fetch the poisonous gas;  {which happens to be a 'Stripped Kitty'}:

MOE to SHEMP:  {As Moe is now looking at Shemp with a really carrying look on his face as he is saying to Shemp in a carrying tone of a voice}:  "On, with the gas masks!"

We are now seeing Moe shaking his fist evilly at the other three cave men.  Larry is now returning with the poisonous stripped kitty gas as Moe and Shemp are putting on their gas masks;  {which are wooden clothing pins on their noses}.

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE:  {As Larry is now running up to them in a really wicked state as he is now handing Moe the stripped kitty and is saying to Moe and Shemp in a really low and wicked tone of a voice}:  "Here we are!"

SHEMP to LARRY:  {As Shemp is totally demented and is jumping up and down in a state of demented mischief is stating to Larry}:  "Hurry up, good!"

MOE to the STRIPPED KITTY:  {As Moe is now loading the stripped kitty into their gun barrel and is saying to the kitty in a really mischievous voice}:  "I got him, hold still there, you!"

We are now seeing Moe, Larry, and Shemp all grinning from ear to ear in glee as they have now shot off the poisonous gas at the other three cave men that have now chucked their spears at Moe, Shemp, and Larry in a state of total madness.

We are now seeing the other three cave men frozen in their tracks in total fear as the poisonous gas is now landing right in front of them and is squirting them wildly.

"I'M A MONKEY'S UNCLE";  {ENDING}:

We are closing out "I'M A MONKEY'S UNCLE!" where we are seeing the other three cave men with horrible looks of fear and panic on their faces as they are now crying "UNCLE" and are high tailing it outta there in total defeat and are yelling in panic, 'Owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha.'

We are now seeing the totally happy Shemp, Larry, and Moe as Moe and Shemp have now removed their gas masks as they are now jumping up and down and are pounding their fists on their chests and have really happy, bug-eyed looks on their faces as they are shouting in glee;  'Owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo;  yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo!"

"I'M A MONKEY'S UNCLE";  {FADE OUT}:

We are fading out "I'M A MONKEY'S UNCLE!" where we are seeing Aggie running up to Moe, Maggie running up to Larry, and Baggie running up to Shemp as they are now kissing and hugging them in a total state of love, pride, joy, and happiness.





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