I was a hugely successful comedian on the radio, movies and T.V. Nobody knows exactly when I was born, but I died about 17 years ago in my 80's.
I had a distinctive physical characteristic, but I can't tell you what is was. I was married a bunch of times as I fairly drove my wives crazy with my bullshit. I had one wife that I kept as my manager for 20 years after the divorce so I could keep tappin' that ass. You can imagine how the subsequent wives felt about that!
I was not an alcoholic, but it was not for lack of trying. After losing one of my kids I was fucked up for years. It didn't help when that kid's mother blew her brains out on an anniversary of his death. I used to climb the big tree in my front yard with a shotgun and a quart of booze and stay perched there ALL NITE.
I distrusted all of my writers and would have them fired at the drop of a hat, even if they had been with me for 10 years and were friends. Like Desi Arnez, I was a bit of an innovator in T.V., and I was known to have the filthiest dress rehearsals in the business. I mean no holds barred cursing and ass squeezing!
How all this shit was not made public back then is a secret I took to the grave. The public loved me 'till the day I died.
Now, who in the fuck AM I?