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#34: Bruce Springsteen

shemps#1 · 43 · 24034

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Offline shemps#1

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(NOTE: Music That Sucks is the correct opinion of the author. If you disagree than you too must be a "downhome, midwest-type" rocker from New Jersey.)

Music has had plenty of poseurs come and go. A great example would be Vanilla Ice, who claimed he was "hardcore" and went to high school with Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew. With only one hit to his name, Mr. Van Winkle does not qualify for induction into MTS, but a poseur who came out long before him most certainly does. He set out to convince the world that he was a simple rocker, gritty, dirty, and "down-home". The unenlightened might even believe this man came from somewhere like Nebraska, or Indiana like future inductee John Melencamp. Truth is, this "midwest" rocker hails from New Jersey. Now when I think "Bible Belt" or "America's Heartland", I don't think Hoboken.

Bruce Springsteen is not from Hoboken actually, more like Asbury Park. Far from the midwest, Asbury Park is along the Jersey Shore.  Now before I go on some of you may be asking yourselves, "why does this asshole keep mention the midwest?" Well first off, fuck you for calling me an asshole, and secondly, we'll get to that later. As a teenager Springsteen started to get into Rock and Roll, playing in various bands that went nowhere. By the early 1970's he had adopted the persona of "folk rocker" and started playing in and around New York's Greenwich Village. Apparently a record exec heard him, and in 1972 he signed with Columbia Records.

Bringing into the studio many of the NJ-based artists he played with in his early years, his debut album, Greetings From Asbury Park, NJ was released in January of 1973. The album was ignored by the general public, but the first track "Blinded By The Light" became a #1 hit for Manfred Mann's Earth Band in 1977. You've probably heard the Mann version, which has to have one of the most misheard lyrics in history. Where Mann sings "revved up like a deuce", it sounds like "wrapped up like a douche". Even though I know the real lyric I still can't help thinking of Summer's Eve. Another, less well known misheard lyric in the song is when Mann sings "little early birdy came by in his curly wurly" sounds something like "little burly pearly gave my anus curly wurlies". Needless to say the buttcheeks clinch whenever I hear that line.

In September of '73 Springsteen released his sophmore effort, The Wild, The Innocent, And The E Street Shuffle. The album recieved critcally acclaim, which is usually the case as far as album sales go. This second album fell before the cardinal rule, but it should be noted that both of these first two albums have since gone platinum. In between albums Bruce made revisions to his backup band, now known as "The E Street Band". The main players included Clarence Clemens, guitarist "Miami" Steve Van Zant (no relation to Van Zant's in Lynyrd Skynyrd), and drummer Max Weinberg, who currently is the in-house drummer for Conan O'Brien's late night show.

With Columbia threatening to drop Springsteen if he did not produce a hit, Born To Run was released in 1975. The album saved Bruce's career, but subjected an unsuspecting public to Springsteen's pseudo-folk rock as the title track made the Top 40 and the album itself made the Top Ten. He waited until 1978 to release his fourth album, Darkness At The Edge Of Town. With other "heartland" phonies like Bob Segar polluting the charts Springsteen was starting to blend in with the crowd. Although the album did fairly well, it failed to match the success of Born To Run.

When the worst decade in the history of music, the 1980's came around, Springsteen was ready and willing to cash in with his shitty music. In 1980 he released a double-album titled The River. The album topped the charts, and the single "Hungry Heart" became Bruce's first to make the Top Ten. Springsteen, not sure what do with this new found sucess, released Nebraska in 1982. The album tanked, and all appeared safe as far as more music coming from the man who wishes he was a farm hand. Of course that means the worst was yet to come.

In 1984 Springsteen would reach megastardom with the album Born In The USA. This album can best be described as an eyesore for the ears, with such horrible songs as the title track, "Dancing In The Dark" (the MTV video features a young Courtney Cox), "Glory Days", and "My Hometown". The album contained seven hit singles in all and sold over ten million copies. Springsteen had officially "arrived", and I began banging my head against the wall hoping the music would go away.

A massive tour followed, and through many of these videos Springsteen portrayed himself as a regular joe you would find in a small Kansas town rather than Asbury Park. Bruce had obviously looked at the success of other artists like Mellencamp and sold out his Northeastern roots. In 1985 he contributed to the grand celebration of suckdom, "We Are The World", and appeared at Live Aid. The following year he released a five-LP, 3 CD live album called Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band Live 1975-1985, which went to #1 on the album charts.

After another prolonged tour, Bruce fired the E Street Band in 1989. In March of 1992 he released two albums at the same time (Human Touch and Lucky Town). Although the albums did well they failed to achieve the success of his previous work. Springsteen appeared on MTV's Unplugged in 1993, but he decided after just one song to play the rest of his set plugged in. In 1994 he recorded "The Streets Of Philadelphia" for the soundtrack to the movie Philadelphia. What we have here is an older Bruce mumbling his way through a putrid song. Of course, the song became a Top Ten hit. The song even garned the man known as "The Boss" Grammys and Oscars. There is absolutely no accounting for good taste. Around the same time he reassembled the E-Street Band to record some new tracks for a greatest hits album that shot straight to #1. In 1999 Springsteen was inducted into Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame.

The good news is that we have weathered most of the Springsteen storm. The bad news is, much like his home state of New Jersey, his career has an undescribable stench that you never forget.

Bruce Springsteen, music...that sucks!
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown


Offline metaldams

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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU and THANK YOU for having the balls to expose this poser piece of shit!  I always found Springstein to be fake horeshit and your whole rant about a Jersey boy pretending he's from the heartland couldn't be more accurate.  Well done.
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Pilsner Panther

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Ah, Jim is back in form, and still batting 'em out of the park (Asbury, that is). This is a "resurrected" MTS segment, but it's one of his best.

The thing that pisses me off most about the "Boss" is that he made his name in Asbury Park, and he has more than enough money to fix up the Boardwalk, yet he's never done one goddamn thing about it.

http://www.laffinthedark.com/articles/Asbury/asburypark/casino.html

When I was a kid, I spent all my summers there, and that was right before both the town and the Boardwalk (and the Casino) went straight down the crapper; it's still a semi-ghost town and/or slum, mainly thanks to a lot of corrupt politicians and developers.

Meantime, good ol' Bruce lives 10 miles away in Freehold, which is full of millionaires' mansions, expensive antique shops, and thoroughbred horse farms.

Bruce could restore the whole place with one call to his bankers— and have plenty of money left over. Why doesn't he?

For those of you who've never been there, the Stone Pony is one block off the Boardwalk.

What a complete phoney...

[bash]


Offline Bruckman

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I don't mind Springsteen's stuff, though "poser" is a good call: he always strikes me as aspiring to a kind of Neal Cassady beatness without any of the street cred. It's as if he's spent his entire professional music career lamenting the fact he was born too late to drive cross country in a 48 Hudson. Sort of a third generation Kerouac, what you get after straining Kerouac through Dylan and end up with the leftovers. His stuff, for me, has gone downgrade since the mid-80s, though I liked the way he ticked off Reagan over "Born in the USA" during the 84 election (Reagan praised it as a piece of Americana, whereas the song actually stresses the deadend fate of a Vietnam vet).
"If it wasn't for fear i wouldn't get out of bed in the morning" - Forrest Griffin


str8 Nyuk

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 Well, well, well. U shit on the boss !! Fairly amusing, but full of shit on the midwestern angle. Springsteen reveled in his Jersyism. Ever read any of the album notes, asshole? Same with Bob Segar of Detroit...both go OUT OF THIER WAY to tell of thier home towns! Never figured out the big deal on his music, which did mosty suck. But I had an old roomate who was a proffesional musician that saw him in concert once...he reported that the band was simply amazing...that is to say that they put on a GOOD SHOW. Thats how the Boss got his tremendous following. U can call him a "poseur" or a hoser or whatever, but anyone thats ever been to one of his 80's concerts can tell U they really got thier $ worth. Keep up the mediocre work, Shemps!


Offline Baggie

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  I'm going to stop being kind now. Your spelling and grammar is downright appalling, as well as your attitude. Shemp's#1 puts a lot of effort into this section of the site, and the results are anything but mediocre.
  Calling him an asshole goes way too far, as does constantly misspelling 'their.' I'm sure Shemp's#1 himself will give you a much wittier flaming than I can, and he's a moderator so I'll leave it down to him and the other guys - but, damn, you are in for a serious ass whupping! ENJOY!
The artist formerly known as Shempetta


str8 Nyuk

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 Good grief, Baggy! Are you a third grade teacher or what? You are grading my comments?! And as far as Shemps possibly being offended, I kinda douht (sic) it. And You are wrong to think I don't apprecieate his work....I can imagine the time and research he put in. But I have an opinion too...and I find it boring to read all kiss-ass drivel that you Shemps clones reply with! (oops...ended with a prep.!)


Offline shemps#1

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I'm going to lay this out real simple so that even you can understand it. MTS is my opinion and mine only. I am entitled to voice my opinion just as you are entitled to voice yours (which is why I don't delete your posts). Get your own board and you can sing Bruce's praises all you want.

I would complain about the use of "U" instead of "you", but we have a more serious problem here: you calling me an asshole. Resorting to name-calling just because my opinion differs than yours shows how you are unable to state your case. If you are unable to prevent yourself from calling people names when you disagree with them, then by all means stay the fuck off this site.

In fact, I'm going to help you by deleting your account, you intolerable little shit. I have no problem with your opinion differing from mine, I do have a problem with you calling me names.
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown


Offline shemps#1

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With that out of the way, I would like to note that that was probably the one banning that I hated to do. I want people with differing opinions to post on these threads and defend the acts that they like, but I cannot let anyone get away with calling me an asshole. If I did it would open up the floodgates for others to feel free to do the same to me or anyone else.

The only time something like that is tolerated is when someone does something to deserve it. Calling someone who can easily boot your ass names is not a smart thing to do, unless you want to be banned.

Perhaps this person will find some way to contact me and apologize for calling me an asshole. As I stated earlier I hated to ban him and would love to have his differing opinion on this site.
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown


Offline jrvass

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For someone to have maybe a 1/2 dozen posts, and most of them were "potty-mouth" I don't disagree with you. Reminds me of "Disorder in the Court":

Judge: "He's asking if you swear..."
Curly: ""No! But I know all the woids. Judgy Wudgy."

Or something to that effect. I've moderated mess-boards before and it can be a PITA at times.

I take my doiby (hat) off to you!

James
This prestigious award, has been presented to you.
Because your belly sticks out farther than your Dickey-Do!


Offline joe2

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  Attn: Shemps#1....Str8 Nyuk figured a way to reach you. OK an apology is extended. Ball in your court.


bossbooster

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How can you (on anyone else for that matter) put down Springsteen of all people when there are sooo many out there that deserves your unthoughtout and just plain stupid comments?
  What is your problem with the Boss anyway, you don't talk much about his music, you just don't like Jersey boys?  You put him down for singing about the midwest, well OK he has sung about midwestern issues somewhat but he also sings about San Diego and other places as well as things that spark his imagination.  You put the man down for not putting out another album right after the huge hit Born to Run but did you know that he had legal trouble in those years that didn't permit another release?  If you didn't know that, I suppose it is OK since that would mean that your just speaking from ignorance but if you DID know it and just didn't mention it to promote your point well then that puts you in a class worse than stupid, maybe you should be running for office.   You never mention that he put out the song with the best melody of all time in that breakthrough album Born to Run, just a little tune called Jungleland.  Not his best lyrics by any means but is certainly shows what a true superstar he is in writing, composing, performing and also relating to his generation (as well as future generations).
   I could go on (and on and on) but you (should) get the point so I will leave (before you toss me as you did str8nuyk) with this: Did you know that when Born to Run came out the Boss was on the cover of both Time AND Newsweek in the same week?  The first person to EVER receive that honor?  No president, king, actor, musician ANYONE ever had that honor before The Boss.  Try listening to the music, especially the early stuff before putting down the #1 true superstar of his generation.     cya....wouldn't wanna be ya


Offline shemps#1

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First off, you pompous jackass, Str8 was banned for various other reasons: twice. He was not banned for not agreeing with my write-up of Bruce Springsteen. Think before you speak, douche bag. As for banning you, there is no reason to.

Most of your rebuttal to my personal opinion is your personal opinion. I wouldn't have a problem with that if not for you trying to pass off your opinion as fact and not in a satirical way. Let's take this gem for example:

Quote
You never mention that he put out the song with the best melody of all time in that breakthrough album Born to Run, just a little tune called Jungleland

Is it a well-known fact that Jungleland has the best melody of all time? No, it's your fucking opinion. That line right there negates any validity your post might have had. As for the Time/Newsweek thing, who the fuck cares? Does that automatically mean his music is good? No, it doesn't. All it means is that he was popular. The Backstreet Boys were popular, does that mean their music is good?

I don't like self-rightous jack-offs, whether they are from New Jersey or not. I can put down Springsteen for the opposite reason you can defend Springsteen: I don't like him (for slow folks like yourself by "him" I mean his music, I have never met Springsteen in person). I say his music sucks, this a dictatorship, therefore his stays.

I hope you gather upenough testicular fortitude to come back and read this, you whiny little coward.
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown


Pilsner Panther

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Quote
"You never mention that he put out the song with the best melody of all time in that breakthrough album Born to Run, just a little tune called Jungleland."


Well, this would certainly be news to Bach, Mozart, Haydn, and Beethoven... If they weren't already dead, this Ex Cathedra pronouncement of yours would be enough to finish them off!

 ::)



bossbooster

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So shemp why DID you ban str8ynuk?   I believe it was because he called you an asshole, isn't that right? I believe it is because thats what you said in one of your posts.  Your right about that, if you call other people names you SHOULD  be banned.  Of course this is a one way street, it is perfectly fine that you call me much worse names

quote:   First off, you pompous jackass

quote:  Think before you speak, douche bag

quote:  I don't like self-rightous jack-offs

quote:  you whiny little coward

   So if your HONEST and a MAN you must now ban yourself for the same reason that you banned str8ynuk, the only difference is that you were much ruder and nastier than he was.
  So be a MAN and ban yourself like you did that other guy OR invite him back and tell him your sorry for banning him in the first place.  If you do neither (which I suspect you will) then your the 'whiny little coward' you falsely accuse me on being.

   I will put Jungleland up against Bach, Beethoven or anyone.  My only problem with Springsteen is some of his politics, you can't argue with the music if your honest (and thats a BIG if).  Do yourself a favor and LISTEN to Jungleland with an open mind. 


Offline shemps#1

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He called me an asshole without my having conversed with him. Anyway, as I stated earlier, this website (and especially MTS) is a dictatorship. My word is law: if you don't like it run away like you said you would. Why do care so much about Str8 anyway? Are you a friend of his, or are you the man himself? The second time he was banned by someone else (he was using the name joe2) for flagrant disregard of this site's rules. I do not have to justify my opinions or my banishments to you.

Comparing Bach, Beethoven et. al. with Springsteen is like comparing apples and oranges...usually. However when you make a blanket statement that a fuckin' Springsteen song has the best melody of all time you lump in all forms of music. I'll bet anything that if I put up a poll about which has a better melody, Springsteen's "Jungleland" or Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" with files of each one Beethoven would win hands down. Not only putting a hack like Springsteen in the same league with the classic composers, but higher than them goes to show how incredibly stupid you are.

I can argue with the music, because I do not like it. As hard as it may be for your feeble little mind to comprehend, there are people out there who do not like Springsteen, me being one of them.

I have never once tried to pass off my opinion as fact. Anybody with half a brain can see that MTS is satire. You, however have tried to pass off your opinion of Springsteen as fact. It is not. The majority of responses to this thread have agreed with me, in fact. Does that make my opinion more valid than yours? No, it's just as valid. At least I am MAN enough to admit it.

BTW, the "self-rightous jack-off" I was referring to was Springsteen, not you.

Ban myself, huh? Gosh...you are such a dipshit.
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown


Pilsner Panther

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I still say it's kind of overrated, but I did have a good time playing miniature golf:

http://www.junglelandnc.com/

Don't look at me— plug "Jungleland" into Google, and that's what comes up at the top of the list, above any references to the Springsteen song. Which maybe says something, but don't ask me what...

 ???

(Pilsner wiggles eyebrows like Groucho Marx, exits stage left.)


Nojaa

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 :-\

I have to admit that when I first heard the Brucester ("Born In the USA" was the first song I heard of his) I thought, "Who is this guy?  He can't carry a tune in a wheelbarrow!!"  But then after hearing it over and over again, as radio stations like playing songs until they wear out, he started to grow on me (no, not literally!), then I could accept his "singing."

Nojaa



Offline Dunrobin

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   I could go on (and on and on) but you (should) get the point so I will leave (before you toss me as you did str8nuyk)

Actually, I'm the one who ultimately banished str8nyuk (aka Joe2), as he refused to follow the Posting Guidelines.  It wasn't that he was a jerk - which he was - but that he refused to write coherently.  I own this site, and I will not have it cluttered up with a lot of illiterate gibberish.

(Like most of the other posters, I can't stand Springsteen; in my case it is not just his music, but his politics as well.  )


Pilsner Panther

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Quote

"I will put Jungleland up against Bach, Beethoven or anyone."


Don't leave, bossbooster, you're too much fun!

Anyone? As a melodist? Okay, how about Chopin, Brahms, Ravel, Stravinsky, Berlin, Kern, Gershwin, Porter, Ellington, or (being fair and sticking to rock, which you didn't), Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Howlin' Wolf, Professor Longhair, Lieber and Stoller, Lennon and McCartney, and Page and Plant?

 :P


bossbooster

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I said anyone and I meant ANYONE, not all of his stuff of course but Jungleland. Those long Clarents Clements sax solo's are fabulous, you can disagree all you want but you will never convince me otherwise.
  shemp your last post shows you to be the worst kind of hipocrit, you can call people that disagree with you the worst kind of filthy names but if anyone says anything about you says anything even mildly offensive you have them banned, dosn't that kind of define "asshole"??
  Hey dun as I wrote earlier I agree with you that the Boss's politics leave MUCH to be desired but I thought we were talking music here.  Makes me wonder whose tunes you boys actually LIKE or is the total reason to just put people down and never praise anyone?  I am critical of many (most) pop culture musicians (you notice I didn't argue about any of the other 'artists' you put down) but to flame the best poet/composer of his generation is insane.  Yes thats MY opinion but it is one shared by many many others.

   


Offline shemps#1

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You are so retarded other retards laugh at you and say "damn this guy's retarded".

I listened to this supposedly great song, it sucks. Did you hear that bitch, SUCKS! Clit Rock at it's finest.

The only thing that melody is good for is playing in the background of a douche commercial where a mother and daughter are walking down a beach discussing feminine hygene habits. How in the hell can you sit there with a straight face and say that is one of the greatest songs?...because it's your opinion, which you are entitled to (no matter how stupid). I am also entitled to mine, asswipe. No one is trying to convince you your opinion is wrong. Unlike you we are not trying to shove our opinions down other people's throats.

Springsteen is nowhere near the greatest poet/composer of his generation. Other muscians born in the 40's that are better songwriters include:

John Lennon
Bob Dylan
Neil Young
Jimi Hendrix
Eric Clapton
Paul McCartney (and I wrote him up too!)

etc.

I love it when these fucking idiots get offended because someone's opinion differs from theirs. "It's not true, Bruce rocks!" Whatever guy.

This is MUSIC THAT SUCKS, therefore don't expect any positive write-ups. Man, you are dense.

I'll say this one last time, this board is not a democracy. It is a dictatorship. If you don't like it, then leave.

If you bother to post again, make sure you have something valid to say. If you regurgitate the same shit that you have in the last three posts I will serve you with a warning.
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown


bossbooster

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You are truely the biggest moron I have run into in quite awhile, warn me, ban me do whatever you want but definately KISS MY ASS  LOL


bossbooster

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Oh by the way before you ban me for exposing you as a true MORON may I suggest a new thread??  How about: Lucky bums who got lucky for the first time in 86 years??   One non choke season in 86 years and boston fans think thats so great.  How many times during those years did the NY Yankees win champioinships while boston players watched on TV and listened on the radio?  Not to mention the boston fans. I am not surprised you are a boston fan, seems many goofball morons are.  Take care sham p   and good luck in 2090  LOLOL


Offline shemps#1

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What a dick, lol. Actually, I should say "what a pussy" because he wants to be banned so he can say I banned him for no reason whatsoever. I will ban him, for being a complete jackass.

New Jersey is so much of a douche bag state not only do you not even have a baseball and have to leech on to the NY teams, but the two football teams in your state don't even want to wear "NJ" on their helmets.

As for the World Champion Red Sox and the Yankees: who blew a 3-0 lead in the ALCS? Who had the biggest collapse in the history of sports? The Yankees! An 86 year drought was ended last year, but that collapse will always stay with the overpaid whores in the Bronx.
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown