Next is TOO LOW FOR ZERO, arguably Elton’s most lasting album of the ‘80s. No, it wasn’t his highest charting album of this decade or even the most successful commercially, but it did have multiple big hits that still remain popular today. Many fans consider it his best work of the ‘80s. My thoughts? I think THE FOX and at least one or two other albums are better, but it’s still very good and I think the people who do say that have a good argument.
One good point for that argument is the band lineup: Dee Murray, Nigel Olsson, and Davey Johnstone. Yes, that’s right. Elton finally reunited the classic lineup in 1982 for the JUMP UP! tour, and kept them on to record this album. Elton did work with some great musicians in the interim, creating some really excellent songs in the process. But there is a certain magic to the original lineup; they always seemed to be in perfect sync with each other, knowing the right place at the right time for each member to come in and contribute. They truly felt like an “Elton John Band”, and that continues here, just with an updated ‘80s twist.
Another point in this album’s favor? Well, in addition to the classic band lineup, how about having exclusively John-Taupin songs again? For the first time since BLUE MOVES, Bernie is the main lyrical collaborator. So already, we have most of the elements of the classic Elton John era for this album. But what’s just as interesting is the fact that there is no additional keyboardist. Elton plays every keyboard and synthesizer on this album. In fact, Elton actually wrote a lot of these songs on synthesizers instead of piano, which is a very good approach, as instead of being forced in as an afterthought as they were on some of the JUMP UP! tracks, the synthesizers here feel like a very natural part of the songs considering that’s what they were built around. But once again, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s do the track-by-track.
The opening song is “Cold as Christmas (in the Middle of the Year)”. If the Elton John Band isn’t enough, the guests on this track read like a “who’s who” list of classic Elton collaborators: Ray Cooper on percussion, Kiki Dee on backing vocals, Skaila Kanga (the harpist on “Your Song”) on harp, this really is a true nostalgia trip. Despite what the title may have you thinking, it’s not actually a Christmas song, more using that as a metaphor for a broken relationship. Very melancholy, but in a good way. As with the other great Elton songs of this type, he sings it so convincingly, you can believe he has experience with this, even though they’re not his lyrics.
The second track is “I’m Still Standing”, one of Elton’s most popular songs of the decade. Yes, it’s overplayed, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s a very catchy song and, lyrically, does capture Elton very well. Through all the troubles he had over the years, he still continued to stand, and still managed to find commercial success for a longer time than a lot of the acts from his era did. The guitar and bass work are fantastic, and I just love hearing that backing vocal combination again. I think I mentioned this before, but I consider the vocal combination of Dee, Davey and Nigel just as important to the classic Elton sound as Elton himself; they just go together so well and have a unique sound that’s never entirely been recaptured.
Next is the title track, which is my least favorite track on the album. As I mentioned, most of these songs were written on synthesizers and are often based around that. However, most of the songs also balance it properly with the right amount of guitars, bass and drums, similar to how the classic albums do so with Elton’s piano. The synthesizers dominate this track, though, which doesn’t necessarily make it bad; some of the effects are cool, but relying on that alone dates the song more than anything else. “Nobody Wins” was heavily programmed too, but it also told this lyrically heartbreaking story that it felt like it was supporting properly. “Too Low For Zero” feels like it’s trying to recapture that, and while the lyrics are definitely sad and relatable, the synthesizers kind of unfocused, especially near the end when they go psychedelic with random different synth sounds. It’s an interesting curiosity especially when you remember the synthesizers are all performed by Elton, but I do think it’s a bit too technical for its own good, and the almost 6 minute running time doesn’t help.
Thankfully, the next track is “Religion”, a guitar-heavy track. There’s really not a whole lot for me to say about it; I just find this track really catchy. It shows off once again just how great of a guitarist Davey is while at the same time being backed by the dependable rhythm section of Dee and Nigel, and Elton and Davey do some really great interplay during the solo section. One effect that’s always stood out to me about this song is that whenever Dee, Davey, and Nigel sing the word “stereo”, it kind of does sound like they’re actually singing it through a radio. It contributes to the kind of “summer” vibe the track musically has to it. Great track; I really like it.
Closing out side 1 is “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues”, another popular song deserving of its status. Elton’s piano playing is great, the band once again sounds really tight and there’s even a harmonica solo from the great Stevie Wonder. It actually kind of feels like something that could have been on one of his ‘70s albums, as it focuses more on piano than synthesizers, the only major difference being Elton’s lower register vocals. Such a beautiful song and a great side closer.
Side 2 opens with “Crystal”, a song that definitely couldn’t have been on a ‘70s Elton John album, as it is much more synth based. But it’s still a good song. Unlike “Too Low For Zero”, and more in line with most of the other tracks, the synthesizers feel much more balanced out with the rest of the band. Some great bass work from Dee on this one, especially in the last minute or so, and it’s nice hearing Elton try the occasional synth solo, which again is something you don’t hear often. It’s a good song with kind of a haunting atmosphere; it even opens with kind of a similar effect to the opening of “Funeral For a Friend”.
Track 7 is “Kiss the Bride”, a single that didn’t take off as well commercially as “I’m Still Standing” or “Blues”, which is a shame because it is also a really good, radio friendly number. Great synth and guitar combination; once again, Davey pulls off another great guitar solo, and I love how all the backing vocals bring everything back together when the solo ends back into the chorus. I still can’t understand why it didn’t take off, because it is really catchy.
Next is “Whipping Boy”, probably the most guitar-heavy track on the album. This one’s conflicting, because musically and productionwise, it’s really solid; the guitar riff is catchy and the drums are particularly heavy. But the lyrics are pretty creepy; knowing Bernie, he probably wrote it as some kind of weird joke, although the theme also reminds me of a certain later song he unfortunately wrote. Just ignore the lyrics and this one’s fun to listen to.
Track 9 is my favorite track on the album, “Saint”. I love everything about this song. I love how it starts with this trumpet style synthesizer sound, how it starts off somewhat quiet, and then in the first chorus, the drums come in and it plays almost like a stadium rocker. The chorus is beautiful; once again, some really fantastic bass work from Dee and the synthesizer really feels like it’s in tune with the rest of the song. It feels like this is a song meant to be played on a synthesizer. The closing guitar solo fadeout is also very emotional. Fantastic track.
Closing out the track is the also fantastic, “One More Arrow”. It’s kind of similar to “Legal Boys” in that it has this Broadway style arrangement, but this one has the advantage of having Dee, Davey and Nigel backing it. Seriously, those backing vocals during the final chorus are so effective emotionally; I know I’ve said this before, but I just love getting to hear that classic backing vocal combination again. Elton’s vocals are performed in falsetto, one of the last major times he does so and the arrangement starts off sparse only to become much heavier in the final chorus, even including a James Newton Howard orchestral arrangement, and it’s very effective. A very good song to close out the album with.
And that’s TOO LOW FOR ZERO. Yes, I wish the lyrics to “Whipping Boy” were different and I’m not crazy about the title track (I don’t necessarily think it’s bad, though). But otherwise, this is a really well put together album and having the classic lineup gives it a real authenticity. If I had never heard an ‘80s Elton album before, this is what I would honestly expect it to sound like. More synth based, but more in a way that it’s just replacing Elton’s piano and the rest of the band is working around it in the same way they would around Elton’s piano on the classic era albums. I really do think the fact that Elton not only played all of the synthesizers but also wrote the songs on them really helps as well. It doesn’t feel like they’re being used for the sake of using them; these feel like songs that were specifically built around these new devices and therefore need to be played on them. Chris Thomas does a great job with the production, and it all feels like a true team effort, just like the old days. Definitely worth checking out.
As for B-sides, there are a few, though keeping in line with the theme of Elton B-sides in the early 1980s, most of them do not come from these sessions. First is “Earn While You Learn”, a holdover from A SINGLE MAN which was released as the B-side to the UK single for “I’m Still Standing”. It’s an instrumental, and I think it was very fitting of them to release it around this time. Similar to TOO LOW FOR ZERO itself, the song features Elton experimenting with various keyboard sounds. It’s a pretty cool experience, even if it does get a bit repetitive at times.
Next is the UK B-side to “Kiss the Bride”, another SINGLE MAN holdover called “Dreamboat”. The version of this track that’s on the TOO LOW FOR ZERO remastered CD and on streaming services is actually not the version originally released on vinyl, but instead it is an extended version. It’s a decent song; the chorus is fun and the backing vocals are especially spirited, but it does get pretty repetitive in the extended version. Obviously the shorter version lacks that repetition, but I actually think it fades a bit too early, because despite the extended version’s ridiculous runtime, it does feature a very excellent Paul Buckmaster arrangement that you can’t really appreciate on the original vinyl because of how early it fades.
Next is “Choc Ice Goes Mental”, the UK B-side to “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues”, and this actually was recorded during the TOO LOW FOR ZERO sessions. It’s a pub style instrumental that sounds like it was recorded in someone’s basement. If you like that type of thing, maybe you’ll enjoy this. I don’t.
And finally, we have the U.S. B-side to “Blues”, “The Retreat”, which is a 21 AT 33 holdover. And this is another track where I find myself asking, “how did this not make the original album?!” Much like “All Quiet in the Western Front”, it lyrically describes life during war. The chorus is super memorable and the musical accompaniment is great, including some organ accompaniment from Toto’s David Paich. The only thing I’m not crazy about is the “flying saucer” style ending, but that’s a very minor complaint compared to how memorable the rest of this song is, and I think its creators would agree, as it’s shown up on multiple compilations throughout the years, including the TOO LOW FOR ZERO remastered CD, the TO BE CONTINUED box set from 1990, and even the recent JEWEL BOX box set.
