Patient: Doc, it hurts when I go like that!
Doc: Don't go like that!
Patient: Doc, my legs hurts when I walk. What should I do?
Doc: Limp.
I knew a guy, his dr. gave him 6 months to live. He couldn't pay is bill -- he gave him another 6 months.
Doc: You'll live 'til your 80.
Patient: But I am 80.
Doc: What did I tell you!
Doc: U need surgery.
Patient: Can I get a 2nd opinion?
Doc: OK, ur ugly, too.