Topic: Spider Attack!

[Pilsner Panther]

It was bound to happen, sooner or later...

Check out that expression... actually, those aren't two eyes and two nostrils, but four compound eyes, two on each side of the little beastie's head.

"The better to see you with, my dear."

 

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[Stoop]

I’m so stupid for checking out this thread. But I guess I didn’t actually expect to see  a huge picture of a spider  (  ). I’m scared to death of spiders. Last time I saw a real, live spider I cried for 10 minutes. (Even though it was just a stupid little long-legged spider.) 

I don’t think I’m going to sleep tonight.

[Pilsner Panther]

My younger sister has always had that same fear of spiders, Stoop, and I don't know why. Okay, they're not pretty, but as an average-sized human being, you're many orders of magnitude larger than even the biggest spider. So, what's to be scared about?

When I look at a creature like that one, what I see is efficiency. Millions of years of evolution have equipped that tiny animal to do only what it needs to do to survive and reproduce, and do it superbly.

(Putting on my Mr. Science hat): Compensating for size, most spider webs have at least three times as much tensile strength as steel beams.

 

 Warning myself, for scaring impressionable young girls.

 A re-warning for warning yourself like a doofus. S#1

[jrvass]

(Snips)...

(Putting on my Mr. Science hat): Compensating for size, most spider webs have at least three times as much tensile strength as steel beams.

I can vouch for that. I live on a canal and near the water, spider webs are everywhere. You either spray, sweep, or get used to them.

A job you may want to decline is cleaning private mausoleums. I went into one that hadn't been opened in 50 years and it was like walking into fishnet stockings! More disturbing is what grows on marble and granite because of coffin gasses!

James

[Pilsner Panther]

(Snips)...

(Putting on my Mr. Science hat): Compensating for size, most spider webs have at least three times as much tensile strength as steel beams.

I can vouch for that. I live on a canal and near the water, spider webs are everywhere. You either spray, sweep, or get used to them.

A job you may want to decline is cleaning private mausoleums. I went into one that hadn't been opened in 50 years and it was like walking into fishnet stockings! More disturbing is what grows on marble and granite because of coffin gasses!

James

Well, it's certainly better than cleaning public mausoleums. My father put in a long hitch in the N.Y.C. Coroner's Office, and his favorite dinner-table joke was, "You know what I like about my job? My customers never complain."

I heard that so often that I was about ready to complain...

 

Here's a spot quiz: how many of you know what a "floater" is? Or, a DOA?

 

[Billybagobagels]

"Floater"  Body that had decomposed enough so that the gas it contains causes it to float to the surface of the water.

"DOA"  Dead on arrival.

[Stoop]

My younger sister has always had that same fear of spiders, Stoop, and I don't know why. Okay, they're not pretty, but as an average-sized human being, you're many orders of magnitude larger than even the biggest spider. So, what's to be scared about?

When I look at a creature like that one, what I see is efficiency. Millions of years of evolution have equipped that tiny animal to do only what it needs to do to survive and reproduce, and do it superbly.

(Putting on my Mr. Science hat): Compensating for size, most spider webs have at least three times as much tensile strength as steel beams.

 

I know, I know. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing, but I can’t help being afraid (or going into shock) when I see a spider. This is just one of my many irrational fears. Maybe it stems from watching too many horror movies. I actually saw the movie Arachnophobia when I was 4, I still remember it.
 

Warning myself, for scaring impressionable young girls.

A re-warning for warning yourself like a doofus. S#1

Nice one, Shemps#1
:laughing1:

[Stoop]

Oh, I almost forgot. Thanks for the Song Pilsner. I love it, even though I don’t get why its called the Black Spider Stomp.  :confused4:

[Pilsner Panther]

Oh, I almost forgot. Thanks for the Song Pilsner. I love it, even though I don’t get why its called the Black Spider Stomp.  :confused4:

They gave songs all kinds of crazy names back in the Swing era, I don't know why... some of those musicians might have been smoking something, for all I know.



That gives me an idea for a future Picks segment: songs with weird names!

Billybagobagels gets the Useless Trivia Award of the Month for knowing what DOA's and floaters are. A floater is usually identified by its dental work, because— to put it delicately— the body is in less-than-pristine shape after it's been in the water for a while.

I'm going to un-warn myself because I've been a good boy for the past eight hours (I was asleep, that's why).