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Offline Paul Pain

  • Moronika's resident meteorologist
  • Bunionhead
  • ******
  • The heartthrob of millions!
Bump, because this thread is darned awesome!
#1 fire kibitzer


Offline Paul Pain

  • Moronika's resident meteorologist
  • Bunionhead
  • ******
  • The heartthrob of millions!
The Stooges are laying railroad tracks in TIED TO YOU.

Moe: Curly, put in these spikes.
Curly: Soitenly *picks up hammer and slams Moe on head*
Moe: Ow!  You lamebrain!  *takes hammer; hits Larry on back swing and Curly on forward swing*
Curly: Oh, oh, oh... oh look! *hammer is flattened*
Moe: Why you!
Larry: Wait a minute!  Let's use these rocks!
Moe: Why can't you a smart moron like him?
Curly: I went to college?
Moe: You went to college?
Curly: I was the janitor!  Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk!  *gets eyes poked* Oh!
Larry: *hits Moe in foot with rock*
Moe: Ohhhhhh!  *hops while Larry and Curly do the Russian dance routine*  Why you!  Do that right before I moider you!
Curly: *drives nail through the hole... but also through Larry's shoe*
Larry: Moe, Curly!  Helppppp!  I'm stuck!

And so forth...
#1 fire kibitzer


Offline Moose Malloy

The boys take the job of diamond cutters (Shemp's disqualified 'cause he can't tell them from mints)

Hey Moe! How we gonna cut dye-muns with these tiny hammers? That's a good question, quiz kid....hey, Porcupine, get me a saw, see?

Curly: I wanna play! *POKE*

Moe: Hold this ice while I saw it....now why are you putting on gloves, Chowder head?

Curly: My fingers get cold! *RAKE* (another saw ruined)

Moe: We ain't-a-gettin' no place fast. Larry, get the tools.

Larry: What tools???

(will somebody take it from here?)





Offline Paul Pain

  • Moronika's resident meteorologist
  • Bunionhead
  • ******
  • The heartthrob of millions!
The boys take the job of diamond cutters (Shemp's disqualified 'cause he can't tell them from mints)

Hey Moe! How we gonna cut dye-muns with these tiny hammers? That's a good question, quiz kid....hey, Porcupine, get me a saw, see?

Curly: I wanna play! *POKE*

Moe: Hold this ice while I saw it....now why are you putting on gloves, Chowder head?

Curly: My fingers get cold! *RAKE* (another saw ruined)

Moe: We ain't-a-gettin' no place fast. Larry, get the tools.

Larry: What tools???

(will somebody take it from here?)

MOE: Now, look, it's just like cutting glass for windahs.
LARRY: You always say I break 'em!
MOE: We take the chisel and carefully chip away until it's nice and beautiful!
CURLY: You ain't chiselin' me nuthin'!
MOE: Shaddap! *eye gouge*
CURLY: OH!
MOE: Hey, porcupine, gemme a chisel!
LARRY: What chisel?
MOE: With the tools?
LARRY: What tools?!
MOE: Startin' dat again! *slap*
LARRY: Ow!
CURLY: Hey, Moe, look!
*PERFECT DIAMOND*
MOE: That's swell!  How ja do it?!
CURLY: Like this! *bites diamond to cut, sands it on scalp*
LARRY: We're in the dough!  Nice work, kid!

Skips to stock footage from HEALTHY, WEALTHY, AND DUMB

*Skips to scenes in which now millionaire Stooges act swanky and get arrested because Larry started substituting glass for the "glass."*
#1 fire kibitzer