Topic: Laws of physics of the Stooge universe

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

Striking someone upon the head with a heavy implement, such as a sledge hammer, a crowbar, or a monkey wrench, may cause momentary dazing. A punch in the chin, however, may knock someone unconscious---unless it is repeated numerous times in quick succession, in which case it will merely cause the victim's head to jerk backwards repeatedly.

Corrected after watching Tricky Dicks A series of three metal heavy objects, such as horseshoes, or dumbbells, or bowling balls, that fall upon someone's head will emit sounds in the pattern sol (in low octave)–mi (upper octave)–do (in between), formerly known as the NBC chimes.

The cutting part of a saw or a wood plane may be applied to someone's head without inflicting injury, though in some cases it may cause damage to the saw.

Bullets fired into the posterior will ricochet with a loud metallic noise and cause no serious injury.

(Continue . . .)

[Dog Hambone]

Bullets fired into the posterior will ricochet with a loud metallic noise and cause no serious injury.

That one always reminded me of a target shooting booth at a fair where there is a loud clang when you hit the bullseye.

How about bullets fired point blank into someone (in this case Shemp in TRICKY DICKS) will not injure them, but will cause them to spring several leaks.

Or trying to guzzle a liquid, e.g., water or a shaken-up bottle of champagne, will cause the liquid to shoot out both of your ears. 

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

How about bullets fired point blank into someone (in this case Shemp in TRICKY DICKS) will not injure them, but will cause them to spring several leaks. 

Bullets are also useful for parting the hair of gentlemen with spittoon haircuts (see Baby Sitter Jitters).

These, however, are unusual cases. For the most part, guns can be fired in the general direction of human beings without danger of hitting them, though their hats may go flying off their heads.

[Boid Brain]

Bullets are also useful for parting the hair of gentlemen with spittoon haircuts (see Baby Sitter Jitters).

These, however, are unusual cases. For the most part, guns can be fired in the general direction of human beings without danger of hitting them, though their hats may go flying off their heads.

Or their toupee in the courtroom.

[Boid Brain]

Falling head first from great heights on to the ground or other people result in no injury....pouring scalding hot water on a glued mouth does no real damage either.

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

Artillery shells fly through the air at approximately the speed of an automobile. In fact, it is possible to hitch a ride on one (see Boobs in Arms).

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

A revolver fired by a "thrill killer" can discharge over 80 shots without reloading (see Tricky Dicks).

[Dog Hambone]

 

Dropped or falling objects will never land harmlessly on the ground, but will land on someone's head or, if it's a pie, on the face.

[Frank Rizzo]

Any Stooge will be able to consume huge gallons of water (if beforehand they injest something that's really, really hot) without the fear of their stomach bursting.

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

Dropped or falling objects will never land harmlessly on the ground, but will land on someone's head or, if it's a pie, on the face.

Ah, yes: the Sword-of-Damocles principle. 

[Boid Brain]

Ah, yes: the Sword-of-Damocles principle. 

Hugo, you must be psychic!

[Seamus]

I enjoy reading Hugo's posts in this thread and imagining his avatar is speaking them.

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

I enjoy reading Hugo's posts in this thread and imagining his avatar is speaking them.

Well, you see, first I have to study medicine und physics. . . . Was ist los hier, anyway? I am the doctor, is it? 

[ryan77]

I completely agree, great aricle! I’m glad I stumbled across this website!

[Boomerang41144]

 

Dropped or falling objects will never land harmlessly on the ground, but will land on someone's head or, if it's a pie, on the face


Unless that which is falling is coming from the sky, in which case it seems to find a well, one which conveniently doesn't splash until someone arrives to get wet.

[Boid Brain]

I completely agree, great aricle! I’m glad I stumbled across this website!

Welcome, ryan 77! 

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

I completely agree, great aricle! I’m glad I stumbled across this website!

Oh, stumblebum, eh? 

[Dog Hambone]

I was watching FUELIN' AROUND when I came across this one, which is also used in other shorts:

Being in the vicinity of an explosive when it goes off will not kill you, but will somehow disintigrate your uniform  leaving you standing there in your long underwear. 

 

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

I was watching FUELIN' AROUND when I came across this one, which is also used in other shorts:

Being in the vicinity of an explosive when it goes off will not kill you, but will somehow disintigrate your uniform  leaving you standing there in your long underwear. 

 

Yes, but it can also have almost the exact opposite effect: it destroys the victim without a trace and leaves his shoes standing empty and smoking (see Hula-La-La).

[Dog Hambone]

Yes, but it can also have almost the exact opposite effect: it destroys the victim without a trace and leaves his shoes standing empty and smoking (see Hula-La-La).

Ditto for the final scene in HALF SHOT SHOOTERS.

 
Inexplicably, a two-fingered eyepoke can sometimes travel over a telephone line or through a pane of glass to be delivered to its victim (perhaps this is attributable to a temporary anomaly in the space-time continuum).   

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

Inexplicably, a two-fingered eyepoke can sometimes travel over a telephone line or through a pane of glass to be delivered to its victim (perhaps this is attributable to a temporary anomaly in the space-time continuum).   

I attribute such effects to the combination of intense aggressiveness on the part of the poker and acute sensitivity on the part of the pokee.

[QuinceHead]

Hospital closets are much bigger on the inside than on the outside (Men in Black).

Alum affects clothing and plants in the same way it affects one's mouth (No Census, No Feeling).

A torrent of gushing water can travel through a television set and drench the people watching it, but said water does not electrocute the viewers (A Plumbing We Will Go?)

Both Heaven and the Devil exist.  So do ghosts, talking skeletons and multi-armed statues that animate.  Reincarnation is evidently possible as well!

Perhaps depending on random fluctuations of the space/time continuum, people can momentarily appear much younger than they actually are before their true age again becomes apparent. (Reuse of stock footage)  And in some instances, people can still interact with a Stooge after they have passed away (such as Symona Boniface or Vernon Dent, for example)!  (Again, stock footage)

For duty and humanity,
JohnH aka QuinceHead

[Dog Hambone]

I attribute such effects to the combination of intense aggressiveness on the part of the poker and acute sensitivity on the part of the pokee.

You may be correct, but that doesn't sound like a law of physics no matter what parallel universe it may occur in.

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

You may be correct, but that doesn't sound like a law of physics no matter what parallel universe it may occur in.

I never said it was a law of physics: that was your idea.

[Dog Hambone]

I never said it was a law of physics: that was your idea.

WTF? When did anything in this thread turn into my idea?

Geez, relax Hugie baby! Did you have bitch flakes for breakfast this morning?