Topic: Three Little Pirates "Maha" scene: transcript

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

Over a long period of time, I have been working on a transcript of one my favorite Stooge bits, the famous scene in Three Little Pirates in which Curly appears as "the Rajah of Canarsie."

Of course, since most of the sounds that Moe and Curly utter are not genuine words in any language, it is difficult to be sure what they are. Further, even if one can make them out phonetically, there is no standard way of transcribing them. However, I have sought to follow a simple and consistent system. English orthography is ill-suited to this purpose because it is so full of inconsistencies. For this reason, I have used vowel letters with the values common in Continental European languages: thus "a e i o u" stand for phonetic [a e i o u] (as in, say, Italian "ma," "re," "si," "no," "tu") rather than, as in English [ei i ai ou ju] (as in "pay," "see," "aye," "owe," "cue"); "ai" stands for the diphthong [ai] and not for [ei]; and so on. I have used "ch" as in English "cherry" and "kh" for the sound represented by "ch" in "Bach" and "loch" (in phonetic terms, the voiceless velar fricative). Where a word of English occurs, such as "lollipop," I have spelled it as in English.

I am sure that there will be "words" here that other viewers hear differently from how I hear them. Certainly my own perceptions have changed over time. In any case, I do not expect that this version will be accepted as authoritative. But I hope that admirers of this scene will value this as at least a useful draft.

Some notes on pronunciation: Vernon Dent pronounces "rajah" as "razhah," "gifts" as "giffs," "ruby" with the vowel of "book," and "egg" as "eyg." The nonsense-word "atimeni" has the stress on the second syllable, though Curly sometimes adds another syllable that I can't quite make out. Moe pronounces the phrase "the Rajah says" as "the Rajah saze."

I will post the transcript in the message immediately after this one.

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

Rita (Christine McIntyre): (Curtsies to the Governor (Vernon Dent)) Your excellency, these men bring rare gifts. (Indicating Curly) Allow me to present the Rajah of, uh—

Moe: Canarsie! (Curly does bit with rapping fist, drumming fingers on neck, then salutes, slapping Moe.)

Rita: (Indicating Moe:) And his interpreter, uh—

Larry: The Gin of Rummy! (Moe does fist-rapping, finger-drumming bit, slaps Larry.)

Governor: Can we dispense with the formalities and make with the gifts?

Moe: Oh, yes; the gifts. (To Curly:) Sit down! (Curly goes to chair, examines it, tries to sit down on it and misses. Moe and Larry rush over to him, help him up and seat him in the chair.)

Moe: You apple head! Come on! [Says something more that sounds like “stick around”] (Returns to the governor)

Governor: What pricelss gifts does the Rajah bring?

Moe: Gifts?

Governor: Yes.

Moe: We shall see. (Shoves Larry aside to go over to Curly; seats himself across the table from him.) Maha!

Curly: Aha!

Moe: You like to speak dat?

Curly: I like to talk dat!

Moe: Rasbanyas yata bene fuchi atimeni kharonchi, that, how do you say, that pickle-puss, he asky-tasky what did you fertsaik, you gaddit?

Curly: Nya tink!

Moe: Nya tink?

Curly: Yoks!

Moe: Oh, boy! (To the Governor:) The Maha—

Curly: Aha! Rasbanyas yata bene fuchi atimeni—

Moe: QUIET!

Curly: Oh!

Moe: The Rajah says that he is the bearer of a rare jewel, (Curly pulls a large lollipop from his costume and puts it in his mouth) known as the—

Governor: A ruby! (Moe fetches the lollipop and gives it to him) A ruby as large as a turkey’s egg!

Moe: The Ruby of Lollipopskia!

Curly: It’s raspberry!

Governor: What fire! I have many pigeon-blood rubies, but never have I been given the raspberry! What other rarity does the Rajah have for me?

Moe: He had some bubble gum, but I think he swallowed it. But we shall see what we shall see. (Returns to Curly, shoving Larry aside again.) Maha!

Curly: Aha!

Moe: Ello doh!

Curly: Ello doh!

Moe: Rasbanyas yata bene fuchi atimeni kharonchi, that, how do you call it, that frog head, he asky-tasky what did you fertsaig, ingensommen. Gadda something else, kiddo?

Curly: Rasbanyas yata bene fuchi atimeni kharonchi, pareDItima hiha, I gonna see dat! (Searches his costume and pulls out a fountain pen.)

Governor: Ah, the tusk of a black walrus!

Moe: (Examining pen) No leak dat?

Curly: No leak dat. (Moe raps him on the nose with the pen then brings it to the governor.)

Moe: (To the Governor) Guaranteed forever.

Larry: You should live so long! (Moe conks him on the head.)

Governor: Ask the Maha—

Curly: (Rising, facing the wrong direction) Aha! Rasbanyas yata bene fuchi atimeni kharonchi—

Moe: Sit down, you Flatbush flathead!

Curly: Oh, shut up, I don’t have to! (Tries to sit down and takes another spill. Moe and Larry rush over to set him into the chair.) Rasbanyas yatabenefuchi, I faw down! (Moe and Larry hit him, then return to the Governor.)

Governor: Are there fair damsels in the Rajah’s domain?

Moe: Damsels?

Governor: Yes. (They chuckle together.)

Moe: We shall see. (Returns to Curly.) Maha!

Curly: Aha!

Moe: Rasbanyas yata bene fuchi atimeni kharonchi a Bay Meadows, that iron head, he asky-tasky what did you fertsaig, hendele bendele, you got some slick chicks?

Curly: Oh, a wolf! Rasbanyas yata bene fuchi atimeni kharonchi, paneDI tima hiha, I’d like to see some babes myself.

Moe: Me too— (interrupts utterance to slap Curly.)

Curly: (Removing glasses) Hit a guy with glasses, huh? (Moe slaps him again.) AAH! All right.

Moe: (Sotto voce) Put ’em back on! (To Governor:) The Maha—

Curly: (Rising) Aha! Rasbanyas yata bene fuchi—

Moe: (Rapping on desk) SIT DOWN!

Curly: Oh, shut up, I don’t have to!

Moe: The Rajah says that in his domain on the islands of Coney and Long, there are some fair chickadees, who prowl through the meadows day and night. If you give us till sunup, we shall bring some back by sundown.

Governor: Excellent! Excellent! On your way with winged feet!

(Moe and Larry rush past Curly toward the door.)

Moe: (In passing) Come on, Maha!

Curly: (Rising and groping about) Aha! yata bene—WHERE ARE YOU?! (Falls over his chair; Moe and Larry pick him up and hustle him toward the door.)

Moe: Pick up your winged feet and let’s get going! (He and Larry exit through the open door; Curly walks into the wall.)

[Boid Brain]

Geez, Hugo. It's just a silly skit and not even funny.

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

Geez, Hugo. It's just a silly skit and not even funny.

Oh, ungrateful, eh?

[Dunrobin]

Geez, Hugo. It's just a silly skit and not even funny.

That's actually a pretty strange comment for a Stooges fan to make.  The Maha skit is probably one of the best known routines that the Stooges did; even casual fans tend to know it.  You probably the first person I've come across who just dismisses it off hand.

Hugo, I thought that you did an excellent job of transcribing, although I haven't compared it to the video yet.  It certainly lived up to my recollection of the routine.  We've still got quite a few of the Columbia shorts that need transcribing - care to take a whack at it?   

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

That's actually a pretty strange comment for a Stooges fan to make.  The Maha skit is probably one of the best known routines that the Stooges did; even casual fans tend to know it.  You probably the first person I've come across who just dismisses it off hand.

Hugo, I thought that did an excellent job of transcribing, although I haven't compared it to the video yet.  It certainly lived up to my recollection of the routine.  We've still got quite a few of the Columbia shorts that need transcribing - care to take a whack at it?   

Thanks. Makes me feel less of a fool. I certainly thought the bit was wonderfully funny the first few times that I saw it, though I admit that it is not much good for laughs after you have listened to it as many times and as closely as I had to do to make out the words. I figure that I have sacrificed most of my enjoyment of the sketch for the sake of the enjoyment of others. I'm not inclined to undertake the same task for many other long sketches!

[Dog Hambone]

Geez, Hugo. It's just a silly skit and not even funny.
and
What the fuck? If you guys are not interested..., why even read the damn tread??!

That's certainly a two-faced thing to say considering your recent previous comment from a basketball thread (quoted above).

Hugo, congratulations and thanks for all your hard work. Transcribing that scene with all the odd language must have been a real challenge. Just wanted you to know I really enjoyed reading through it.

[Boid Brain]

Oh, ungrateful, eh?

I'm afraid so! I didn't like that bit, not even as a kid. For one thing, it didn't fit the skit. It was like an old routine that Moe just wanted to have on film. For a second thing, it was too repetitive for me.

You know, guys, that a Stooge fan doesn't have to like everything Columbia dished out. The franchise started deteriorating when Curly got sick and they cut the budget to crumbs. It got to the point where the Besser shorts looked like they were made by Ed Wood!

So sorry, but I don't care for the Ma Ha bit.

[xraffle]

Hugo, I thought that you did an excellent job of transcribing, although I haven't compared it to the video yet.  It certainly lived up to my recollection of the routine.  We've still got quite a few of the Columbia shorts that need transcribing - care to take a whack at it?  

If he wants to work on them, then he can take my place as Team Stooge. I have absolutely no time whatsoever to do anymore, which explains why I haven't transcribed any shorts in over a year.

Hugo- That really was an excellent job you did. If you ever would like reconsider and transcribe some shorts, I think you would do a great job!

[Boid Brain]

That's certainly a two-faced thing to say considering your recent previous comment from a basketball thread (quoted above).

Hugo, congratulations and thanks for all your hard work. Transcribing that scene with all the odd language must have been a real challenge. Just wanted you to know I really enjoyed reading through it.

Well Dog, there's a difference. I started to read it and stopped when he started typing out the whole routine. Then I scrolled down for an eternity to get to the end of it. Just seemed like a lot of work for an old and surely unoriginal skit.

[xraffle]

Well Dog, there's a difference. I started to read it and stopped when he started typing out the whole routine. Then I scrolled down for an eternity to get to the end of it. Just seemed like a lot of work for an old and surely unoriginal skit.

Yes, it's A LOT of hard work and kind of cruel to make that sort of comment to someone who worked very hard to try to please stooge fans. If you're not interested in the Maha scene and find it old and original, why even read the damn thread?

[Boid Brain]

Yes, it's A LOT of hard work and kind of cruel to make that sort of comment to someone who worked very hard to try to please stooge fans. If you're not interested in the Maha scene and find it old and original, why even read the damn thread?

CRUEL? OMG! I appreciate the guy's work, just not the subject matter. I spoke my little opinion. Make a mountain out of a mole hill, why doncha'?

[Moron4392]

Hey Boid Brain:

Just a quick post.  I just would like to state to me you did a beyond excellent job in disceting the "Maha Skit."  I was fighting with "Three Little Pirates" for a transcript and could not even start to get that skit.  Again, excellent job, well done.


Diane Hoekstra
Moron4392

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

Hey Boid Brain:

Just a quick post.  I just would like to state to me you did a beyond excellent job in disceting the "Maha Skit."  I was fighting with "Three Little Pirates" for a transcript and could not even start to get that skit.  Again, excellent job, well done.


Diane Hoekstra
Moron4392

By directing your thanks to Boid Brain, you may have managed to offend two parties at one blow.  

Nah, just kidding. I think your mistake is hilarious.

[shemps#1]

I gotta side with Boid here: while attempting to transcribe the "Maha" bit is impressive and I'm sure a lot of time and effort was put into it I don't really care for the bit either. The "Maha" bit is one of the reasons why Three Little Pirates is one of my least favorite shorts and in my opinion the most overrated Three Stooges short.

I don't find the short very funny and the bit is tedious and went on for too long. Top it off with a very ill Curly who seems to have forgotten his name by this point and a later attempt at the bit with the charismatic void that was Derita and I can definitely do without it.

This is not to take away from the efforts of the transcriber though: I certainly would not have the patience to do that.

[shemps#1]

Also, I am left in the position to defend Boid's posting in this thread as it has been compared to the Jordan thread. These are two different situations and I'll explain why.

The Maha scene is Three Stooges related and Boid's opinion of it and his questioning why someone would go through the trouble of transcribing it are relevant to the discussion at hand (the routine itself). Was the way he went about it rude? Yes, but it is relevant to the topic and facilitates discussion.

Dog's post in the Jordan thread in which he states he can care less about basketball is irrelevant to the discussion at hand (which I believe was whether or not Michael Jordan was an overrated player). Its purpose was to disrupt the thread and it succeeded in doing so. Now you may be saying "but Jim, threads veer off topic all of time" and to that I would say "well (insert your name here) you are right, but they do so gradually with posts that are conducive to the original topic branching out to different topics". The post stating "basketball sucks, who cares?" was a nonsequitor.

So to put it simply: a post on a thread about the Maha scene (or transcription thereof) about someone's dislike for the particular scene: relevant. A post about how basketball sucks on a thread about whether or not Michael Jordan deserves the acclaim he receives: irrelevant. So Boid is actually interested in the topic at hand where Dog was not.

[Boid Brain]

By directing your thanks to Boid Brain, you may have managed to offend two parties at one blow.  

Nah, just kidding. I think your mistake is hilarious.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that gets hammered and posts here! Diane also sent me a P.M.

You don't know how tempted I was to pretend to be Middlenamewayne and cuss her a blue streak!

[FineBari3]

The Maha skit is better in "Time Out For Rhythm", with a healthy Curly, and I hope you get a chance to see it if you have not. It is on TCM sometimes. 

[shemps#1]

I haven't seen it yet and will try to check it out.

[Dr. Hugo Gansamacher]

The Maha skit is better in "Time Out For Rhythm", with a healthy Curly, and I hope you get a chance to see it if you have not. It is on TCM sometimes.  

Thanks for the reference. I found the scene on YouTube, though some chowderhead has shrunk the screen horizontally. The dialogue is completely different; in fact, about all that it has in common with the scene in Three Little Pirates is the use of a few formulas, like "Maha!"---"Aha?" and "Rasbanyas" etc. But I have to admit that it is much more pleasant seeing a healthy Curly as the Maha than the ailing one in Three Little Pirates.

[youtube=425,350]EU_gYcZoCis[/youtube]

Edited to add: Also the following video, which seems to have the rest of the scenes with the Stooges in Time Out for Rhythm. This time, the picture is not shrunken, but it is blurry and a bit greenish:

[youtube=425,350]sBX8mGP-1jo[/youtube]

[shemps#1]

Thanks Hugo.

OK, that was much better than the Three Little Pirates version (or the Derita versions). It had a healthy Curly and didn't go on forever.

[xraffle]

Dog's post in the Jordan thread in which he states he can care less about basketball is irrelevant to the discussion at hand (which I believe was whether or not Michael Jordan was an overrated player). Its purpose was to disrupt the thread and it succeeded in doing so. Now you may be saying "but Jim, threads veer off topic all of time" and to that I would say "well (insert your name here) you are right, but they do so gradually with posts that are conducive to the original topic branching out to different topics". The post stating "basketball sucks, who cares?" was a nonsequitor.

Boid posted in the other thread: “If you guys are not interested in basketball, why even read the damn tread??!”

By “guys,” he was referring to me, Rob, and Dog since all three of us guys read the thread even though we’re not interested in basketball. If he would’ve directed that comment at Dog alone, it wouldn’t have been an issue, but he directed it at me and Rob instead even though we stood behind him during the thread. Perhaps, I misread his post, but the word “guys” is plural and Dog was the only person there to criticize the thread.

Boid didn't really do anything wrong here. I was just throwing back the pie that he threw at me in the other thread.

[shemps#1]

OK, but you said "if you're not interested in the Maha scene then why post in the thread?"

The Maha scene is Three Stooges related, and anybody who signs up for this forum has to be interested in the Three Stooges, no? Just because he doesn't like the Maha scene doesn't mean that discussion of it doesn't interest him.

[Boid Brain]

Thanks Hugo.

OK, that was much better than the Three Little Pirates version (or the Derita versions). It had a healthy Curly and didn't go on forever.

"What HE said"!

[xraffle]

I was just busting chops since Boid busted mine.

With that said, I'm afraid I'm guilty as well for not liking the Maha routine. And sadly, Curly's health is the reason for it. And I have to agree with S#1, I think the scene went on for too long and after a while, you're like "enough already!" But I still think if Curly was in better health, it would've turned out A LOT better than it did.