So what do you recall about what the two Joes were like? Did Joe B. say to you that he really left the act because of his wife? That was something that always puzzled me.
I visited each of the Joes twice -- in 1974 and 1978. Joe Besser was gracious, open, and delighted to be remembered by fans. He spoke highly of Moe and Larry, and was glad to be part of their act, but wanted to be remembered for his other roles, too. Besser seemed most proud of his work with Abbott and Costello (he raved about what a pal Costello was), Olsen and Johnson, Jack Benny, and Milton Berle. He gave me the stock answer that he left the Stooges when his wife was sick -- and I didn't ask for the details. Obviously Besser may have left the Stooges because he wanted to do something different and didn't see their late 50s act as being very successful. But clearly Besser's the one who originated the "sick wife" explanation.
Joe DeRita was a decent guy, too. However, he didn't appear to place the same value on fans as Moe, Larry, and Besser did. Not that DeRita disliked his fans -- he just didn't place them on a pedestal. The first time I showed up at his house, I woke him from a nap, and he was appropriately irritated. He didn't put on any airs -- he just came to the door in his boxer shorts (no shirt or footwear, just boxer shorts) and gruffly told me I had woken him up. Believe me, being inches away from a gruff, sparsely clothed guy with DeRita's proportions left an impression.
The second time I visited DeRita, I arrived later and experienced an entirely side of him -- much more congenial, personable, and willing to spend an extended period of time answering questions and talking about his career. It's no secret DeRita couldn't understand why anyone found the Stooges brand of comedy funny. But he didn't hesitate to say that he enjoyed working with Moe and Larry, and he liked the stability of the Stooges job. And he clearly liked cracking jokes and getting laughs. All in all, a very gregarious guy. As you can imagine, I'm thankful I made the second visit and got to see the "lighter" side of him.