First of all, I want to thank the creators of this website. Not only for their love for the Three Stooges, but also for all of the various submissions, suggestions, interesting commentary, and thoughtful forums, like this debate forum. This forum was the reason I joined, and I’m NOT a big “joiner.” Hats off to all of you that make this whole experience possible. Now, on with the show…..
Yet another great debate topic, one that I loved, the minute that I saw it.
“As Three Stooges fans should we support or boycott the planned Farrelly Bros. Three Stooges movie?” My answer? Let me make this as clear as possible — “Absolutely, positively, 100% BOYCOTT.” I have several reasons for this stance, one that I might wager a thought to believe there are quite a few of the silent majority that participate on this website may agree with.
Let’s start off with my immediate response….”WHY would we NEED this?” Please put me down for the type of die-hard, thoughtful 3-S fan that treasures EVERY short film, every snippet of TV work, everything that the Three Stooges and their creative teams thought to put on celluloid, video tape, or photo paper. I treasure it ALL. Their work, in my humble opinion, holds up to this day as the patriarch of slapstick comedy and snappy dialogue. Now, along comes yet another Hollywood film-making team, dollar signs in their eyes, and thinking that making a feature-length film involving the Three Stooges and using 21st-Century Hollywood actors is a good idea. Memo to the Hollywood-types that LOVE to take other’s work, put it into the film grinders, and make it their own — FORGET IT.
Yes, I’ve seen the suggestions of the three “stars” that might sign on to actually MAKE this incredibly misguided film. Let’s start with the man that MADE the Three Stooges function like they did — Moe Howard. The Farrelly’s choice to play him would be none other than (get this) BENICIO DEL TORO?? (Laugh) Moe Howard was the guiding force behind the entire 3-S project. His timing was key, his accent necessary to pull off what was needed in the time frame that the pictures were made from the 1930’s on. His staccato-style was LEGEND, and is never to be duplicated again. For anyone else to even ATTEMPT to re-create Moe Howard’s style on film is a mistake, and in Del Toro’s case, a CRIME. BAD IDEA. NO Three Stooges fan in his right mind would buy this. I’d CRINGE, every time he’d trot onto the screen and participate, and that’s not MY idea of a “tribute.” He can’t pull it off, plain and simple. You’d need a “Milli-Vanilli” voice-over, replacing every word that comes out of his mouth, with some other actors’ voice. You have GOT to be kidding me. (BUZZZZ) WROOONG……….
Next, we have Sean Penn, a fine actor, being initially mentioned as playing Larry Fine, and JIM CARREY, of all people, suggested to re-create the comic masterpiece that was Curly Howard…….Now, Penn’s a fine actor, but his presence would never make this film function, because Larry Fine was the fall guy, the set-up guy, the target of most of Moe’s jabs. He’d be wasted. But, folks, let’s get to Jim Carrey as Curly. (Laugh) CURLY HOWARD, of all people. In the NBA, they always tell you about prospects, “The guy is tall, and you can’t teach TALL.” And make no mistake about it, Carrey’s TALL — Six-Feet-one and a half, and about 190 pounds. Fairly average for a man of the 21st-century, but, unfortunately, he’d be PLAYING a character that was a full EIGHT INCHES SHORTER. (Curly was 5-5.) Sean Penn’s 5-9, and Benicio Del Toro comes in the tallest, at 6-2. I don’t care HOW much makeup, body suits and high heels they put on these actors, they won’t pull this off. It’s going to be a disaster, plain and simple. These three actors have NO CHANCE of replicating the magic of the Stooges, not to MENTION the look of the men, or their ability to play off of each other.
As motion picture history will tell you, the Three Stooges are still icons of that bygone era, the Golden Age of film-making. Sadly, if the Farrellys are playing to their still-intact audience of comedy-loving Three Stooges fans, they’ve picked the wrong fan base to try to milk their money out of. The Three Stooges fan base is VERY particular, and has a wealth of short films, feature films, and individual efforts by all of the past 3-S members to keep them laughing for all eternity. What they DON’T need is some half-baked Hollywood studio money-grab, an effort that the Farrellys will tell you is a “tribute to the fine work of the Stooges.” If THAT’S the case, my money-grabbing brothers, MAKE A DOCUMENTARY. The LAST thing we as 3-S fans and lovers need is another thrown-together biopic that thinks it’s paying TRIBUTE to one of the greatest comedy teams of all time, written by a filmmaking team that had produced such thought-provoking efforts like “Shallow Hal” and “Me, Myself and Irene,” while using a team of actors that are probably fulfilling some childhood dream of playing their comedic heroes. PUH=LEEEASE. Spare me.
At this point, it’s important to say one thing — I have nothing against the Farrellys, Penn, Carrey, or Del Toro — It’s not that they’re making this film — It’s the fact that ANYONE would attempt to make this film. No matter WHO you use, it’s just not right. It’s unnecessary, and a film that CAN’T be made correctly. The Stooges’ LOOK and TIMING are what MADE them, and it just can’t be re-produced, no matter HOW much you try.
So, with all this having been said, It’s time for the Three Stooges fan-base to rise up, and say “NO” to this ill-timed Hollywood money-grabbing circle-jerk. Time to tell the powers that be in Hollywood to LEAVE THINGS like THE THREE STOOGES ALONE. The genius and expertise of the Stooges is already ON film, gentlemen, made by the men themselves, some 60-70 years ago. All you’re trying to do is make a few bucks off of their memories, and the memories of their fan base. We don’t need this unnecessary work, and we, as the 3-S fan base will NOT support it. The boycott is the thing, and I’ll be right there, doing just that — BOYCOTTING this film.
