LAWYER JOKES:Q: What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do you have when you have a lawyer up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a pothole?
A: People will try to avoid hitting a pothole.
Q: What's the difference between an accident and a calamity?
A: It's an accident when a bus full of lawyers plunges off the road into a river. It's a calamity if they can swim.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The diphthong.
Today's installment was inspired by the following news story:Wednesday, January 12, 2005 · Last updated 11:53 a.m. PTPair arrested for telling lawyer jokesTHE ASSOCIATED PRESS
HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. -- Did you hear the one about the two guys arrested for telling lawyer jokes?
It happened this week to the founders of a group called Americans for Legal Reform, who were waiting in line to get into a Long Island courthouse.
"How do you tell when a lawyer is lying?" Harvey Kash reportedly asked Carl Lanzisera.
"His lips are moving," they said in unison.
While some waiting to get into the courthouse giggled, a lawyer farther up the line Monday was not laughing.
He told them to pipe down, and when they did not, the lawyer reported the pair to court personnel, who charged them with disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor.
"They just can't take it," Kash said of lawyers in general. "This violates our First Amendment rights."
Dan Bagnuola, a spokesman for the Nassau County courts, said the men were "being abusive and they were causing a disturbance." He said he did not have the name of the lawyer who complained.
Americans for Legal Reform monitors the courts and uses confrontational tactics to push for greater access for the public. The pair said that for years they have stood outside courthouses on Long Island and mocked lawyers.
On Monday, however, Kash said he was due in court to answer a drunken driving charge from a year and a half ago. The men are due back in court on the disorderly conduct charge next month.
SOURCE: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/apus_story.asp?category=1110&slug=Lawyer%20Jokes%20Arrests