Topic: My Thoughts on WWE Cyber Sunday as I Watched It

[shemps#1]

I don't know how many wrestling fans we have on the site here, but I got as hold of a copy of last night's WWE pay per view and decided to take notes as I watched it. Looking back at the notes I thought they were interesting enough to post here, and much more interesting than the show itself. The idea behind "Cyber Sunday" is that fans can vote on either matches, opponents in matches, or match stipulations via texting. The results were revealed during the show before each match took place. So without further adieu here are the notes I took while watching Cyber Sunday.

Rey Misterio vs Kane
* Rey is too small for his offense to look realistic against Kane
* Kane is too big to convincingly sell for Rey
* Spot Monkey
* Selling for missed spots looks retarded
* If I can kick Rey's ass so should Kane

Evan Bourne vs Matt Hardy
* Evan is a spot monkey with no ring psychology
* Also has no charisma
* Crowd mostly quiet, small pops for spots and false counts
* Too many false finishes
* Again, not enough ring psychology, just a spot fest
* ECW commentators suck
* "Instant classic"? Really?

Diva Halloween Costume Contest
* If I paid $40 to listen to these skanks ramble on I'd be pissed
* Women's wrestling should be a once in a while affair
* Back in the day the women would wrestle periodically, never overstaying their welcome

Cryme Tyme vs Miz and Morrison
* I used to love tag team wrestling and it is sorely under-utilized today
* Crowd is dead for this match, definite popcorn match
* We need more tag teams and better tag teams
* TANGENT: I hate it when two top singles wrestlers who are supposed to fight at a PPV are "forced to team" and beat the shit out of the tag team champs
* I hate it when wrestlers stand around like doofuses outside the ring waiting for their opponents to hit a spot from inside of the ring
* Crowd can really give a fuck less about this match
* Lack of crowd heat really kills a match
* Miz and Morrison are the only decent tag team today
* Cryme Tyme is a cross between a stale In Living Color bit and Amos and Andy
* Intentionally misspelling words in your name (Cryme Tyme) is not cool
* Match is going on too long, killing the crowd
* Miz and Morrison win, bell brings crowd out of deep slumber like alarm clock on Monday morning

Diva Halloween Costume Contest
* I'm guessing they are going to cut to these boring whores after every match
* It'd be cool if Jim Neidhart's daughter grew a goatee like her dad

Santino Marella vs Honky Tonk Man
* Santino is a comedy character, and putting the IC belt on him makes the IC belt a joke
* Honky Tonk Man? Really?
* I would have preferred Goldust, the only one not yet eligible for Social Security
* Santino calls Shaq a has-been, Shaq is in audience
* Honky actually looks decent with jumpsuit on
* Honky is getting more of a reaction than most of the wrestlers today
* When is this match going to start?
* Do I want it to?
* Does every wrestler...excuse me "entertainer", need to be nearly covered from head to toe in tattoos?
* Honky keeps jumpsuit on, thank goodness
* Lame DQ when Beth Phoenix trips Honky
* Goldust and Piper both come out, looking awful
* Goldust's jumpsuit is really being stretched
* Honky is actually is good shape for his age, black really is slimming
* Please get IC Belt off of Santino

Diva Halloween Costume Contest
* Enough already!
* Mickie James has some really hot porn pics

Big Show vs Undertaker
* I have high hopes for this one
* Enough with the feud recaps
* Vickie Guerrero gets more heat than most wrestlers
* No Vickie, Last Man Standing got the most votes...49% is more than 42%
* Playing myspace apps while waiting for Undertaker to make his way to the ring
* Undertaker shouldn't be tan
*  Jim Ross and Tazz are much better than Cole and Lawler and infinitely better than the ECW guys
* These ten counts slow the match down too much
* "WWE Universe" is a lame take on "Red Sox Nation"
* I know the Raiders were the first to use "Nation" but with the Red Sox it actually fits
* "Rays Republic" is gay, especially considering their pathetic fan base...I'm losing interest in match during another 10 count
* Taker and Show are showing the younger guys how to get a crowd into a match without being spot monkeys/dalmations
* Again, too much of the ref doing ten counts
* I don't like "last man standing"matches because there is too much focus on the ref
* Here comes the mandatory "wrestler goes through commentary table" spot
* Seriously, it's been overdone
*....and there goes Taker through the table
* Why cut away to Vickie Guerrero during the match?
* Big Show's fist looks bigger than my head
* I miss Andre, he rocked
* That MMA looking choke is lame for pro wrestling
* Pro Wrestling should stay away from MMA style stuff because comparisons will not benefit wrestling
* "Eh" match, but so far best match of the card
* Taker's hairline is receding, as is mine...he's getting older...as am I
* Did I really first start watching wrestling 25 years ago?
* 2008-1983=25...yep

Jericho cut-away
* This is like the 4th one of the show, and it's getting old
* Is Mike Adamle supposed to be a heel or a face? Either way, he's boring

Diva Halloween Costume Contest
* Thank goodness this is ending
* Here they all come to the ring...oh joy
* Listening to these bitches talk about their costumes all night was enough to cause my dick to retract into my intestines
* Mickie James wins and the sluts fight, yawn
* "We're the real winners" says Lawler; no, anyone who paid $40 to watch this has lost

Triple H vs Jeff Hardy
* Big surprise, Hardy wins the vote
* Who the fuck is this other guy...Vladimir Koslov, and what has done to be considered for a title shot?
* Too many titles in WWF...WWE...whatever
* I can write an encyclopedia while waiting for Triple H to get to the ring and spit water
* How gay is that whole spitting water shit anyway?
* Triple H might be one of the top stars today, but he'll never be on par with Hogan
* ...or Austin
* ...or Graham
* Jeff Hardy looks like one of those gay club kids high on cat tranquilizers
* Boy is WWE produced theme music lame...especially the vocals
* Given Hardy's drug-ridden past I wouldn't trust him with the women's belt, nevermind a top belt
* Crowd is quiet at the start of this one
* I just don't get what the big deal is with Jeff Hardy, or HHH for that matter
* I am soooo tempted to fast forward through this match
* No Tazz, Triple H is not like a modern day Harley Race, Buddy Rogers, or Ric Flair
* He only wishes he was
* How many times are they going to call Hardy a "free spirit"?
* Despite Triple H not being in a league his family would like you to think he is, he shouldn't lose to Hardy
* Another Harley Race reference, Race in his prime was twice the performer Triple H is
* Required "wrestler gets flung into the ring steps" spot
* Hardy's another spot monkey
* "Whisper in the wind"...what a lame name for a wrestling move
* What's Hardy's finisher, the "cock in my mouth"?
* Anybody that dyes their hair an unnatural color should be shaved and then passed around in a prison cell block
* The black nail polish isn't going to curb my gay cracks in Jeff Hardy's direction
* Seriously, they should make "It's Raining Men" his theme song
* Dragging him off the turnbuckle and giving him a Pedigree does not make a "Pedigree off the top ropes", Ross
* Mercifully this match is over, but is still one of the better matches of the night
* Enough with the babyfaces congratulating each other after Face/Face matches

John Cena Returns
* This is like the third or fourth time they've announced Cena is coming back at the Survivor Series
* Cena should get booed out of Boston due to his rooting for the Rays
* Say what you will about Cena, at least he gets a reaction, which is more than I can say for most

Chris Jericho vs Batista
* Options for guest ref: Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels or Randy Orton
* Gee, I wonder who is going to win that vote
* Another long feud recap...snore
* You'd think the people who plunked down $40 would know the feud's history and not need a fucking recap
* I think taking the belt off Jericho would be too hasty, so that means they'll do it
* The champion should never come out first
* As I'm at the end of this PPV, I wonder how many of these matches we'll see again on Raw/Smackdown/ECW this week?
* After all, WWE loves to give PPV matches for free right after the PPV, thusly fucking over anyone who actually paid for the PPV
* Batista's theme music is so gay
* That nerdy guy who announces the vote is horrible
* Big surprise, Austin in a landslide
* I must make note of how old Shawn Michaels looks though
* No longer a sexy boy, no longer a boy toy
* Austin looks good
* Slow pace to this match
* Crowd is sitting on their hands
* They must have blown their load on the Austin pop
* They wake up for the middle finger
* I wasn't a huge Austin fan, but man was he ever popular...second only to Hogan in his prime
* This has been almost all Batista, which is bad
* How's the crowd supposed to get emotionally invested in the match if the face is squashing the heel?
* Austin knocked out, Michaels now ref
* Thank you JBL for clotheslining Michaels
* I really dislike Shawn Michaels, he's a phony pseudo-religious shithead
* Now Orton takes out Austin
* Too many run-ins, but crowd has woken up
* Stunner to Orton, saw that coming             
* Batista wins, WWE hotshots another title switch...I believe I predicted that
* And I'm done as Austin and Batista drink beer, which goes against Austin's character
* Austin of old would have stunned Batista too
*Then again he's inactive, so perhaps that wouldn't be a good idea

[metaldams]

After the Benoit thing, I tuned in to watch Vince McMahon's two minute public announcement on Smackdown about the incident.  I tuurned the TV off when it was done, and have literally not watched a second of wrestling since.  I was even getting bored with wrestling and fed up with the young deaths BEFORE that whole incident, but the Benoit thing was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I couldn't even tell you who's champ these days.

[FineBari3]

After the Benoit thing, I tuned in to watch Vince McMahon's two minute public announcement on Smackdown about the incident.  I tuurned the TV off when it was done, and have literally not watched a second of wrestling since.  I was even getting bored with wrestling and fed up with the young deaths BEFORE that whole incident, but the Benoit thing was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I couldn't even tell you who's champ these days.

Word.   

[metaldams]

I will add my wrestling interest these days goes into reading about the Benoit incident (I highly recommend RING OF HELL), and the comic antics of The Iron Shiek on youtube.

Actually watching matches?  No, but to each their own.

[Lefty]

I've been a wrestling fan for about 37 years, having watched "a lot of many" free/cable TV shows.  I have never purchased a PPV, whether WWE, WCW, TNA, or "MD, PHD, BBC, AWOL, etc."  I did predict 5 of the 8 alleged vote winners for last night.  When I watch the shows, mostly on VCR tape, I fast-forward the vast majority of non-wrestling "stuff," which is generally about 100 minutes of every 2-hour show.  And I definitely agree that Shawn Michaels is a s***head who should have been in Bush's cabinet (drinking and drugging away to their black hearts' content).  The PPV was $40?  For that price, Undertaker should have tombstoned Sarah Palin -- unless she was one of the divas in costume, then Jerry Lawler could have shown her a two or thing. 

[Justin T]

I've been a wrestling fan since 1985, the Benoit incident left me very upset so I stopped watching for awhile
and I just started to watch it on TV again the last few weeks, although I have been following it online
to keep up on the goings on. The Jericho-HBK feud has been the best thing Ive seen in ages, most
of the stuff is hit and miss. WWE could be alot better than it is right now.

I'm glad I didnt pay money for that PPV, Taker-Big Show sounds good from other reports but
Jericho losing to Batisita pisses me off. I cant wait till Cena comes back, he's the real mega star.

[shemps#1]

After the Benoit thing, I tuned in to watch Vince McMahon's two minute public announcement on Smackdown about the incident.  I tuurned the TV off when it was done, and have literally not watched a second of wrestling since.  I was even getting bored with wrestling and fed up with the young deaths BEFORE that whole incident, but the Benoit thing was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I couldn't even tell you who's champ these days.

You aren't blaming pro wrestling for that Benoit shit and the young deaths, are you? All of those overdoses are the faults of those who overdosed and what Benoit did was his own fault.

[shemps#1]

I've been a wrestling fan since 1985, the Benoit incident left me very upset so I stopped watching for awhile
and I just started to watch it on TV again the last few weeks, although I have been following it online
to keep up on the goings on. The Jericho-HBK feud has been the best thing Ive seen in ages, most
of the stuff is hit and miss. WWE could be alot better than it is right now.

I'm glad I didnt pay money for that PPV, Taker-Big Show sounds good from other reports but
Jericho losing to Batisita pisses me off. I cant wait till Cena comes back, he's the real mega star.

I'm glad I didn't pay for it either. Taker/Show was definitely the best thing on the card. The Michaels/Jericho feud was rushed as is everything else these days. They could have at least stretched that out until Survivor Series and had Jericho/Batista start from there, but what do I know?

[metaldams]

You aren't blaming pro wrestling for that Benoit shit and the young deaths, are you? All of those overdoses are the faults of those who overdosed and what Benoit did was his own fault.

Chris Benoit had severe brain damage from years of swandive headbutts and other assorted bumps, so yeah, it's likely wrestling played a part in his insanity.  Then again, Benoit chose this lifestyle, so the motherfucker is as guilty as sin and I have no sympathy for him.

Same with all the other young deaths.  The wrestlers choose to take the steroids without cycling to look like Batista 365 days a year, they choose to take all these crazy bumps so the only way to cope is massive amounts of painkillers.  Some men can handle it while others can't, but I no longer choose to watch those who can't.  It's too depressing when 20% of a Royal Rumble dies before 50.