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They Walk Among Us

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Offline Dunrobin

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I got this one in my email today.  If you ever wondered why this country seems so screwed up...

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.
Caution...

They Walk Among Us


While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

They Walk Among Us!


I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a  week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . .

They Walk Among Us!


My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". .

They Walk Among Us!


My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...

They Walk Among Us!


My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....

They Walk Among Us!


I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.  My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose
and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...

They Walk Among Us!


I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...

They Walk Among Us!


While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."


Yep, They Walk Among Us...  and what is even worse - they reproduce!   ::)



Offline BeAStooge

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Stupidity has many faces...

Quote
Rattlers freed in SNAKES theater prank
'They were removed, and no one was harmed' says spokesperson

Reuters

PHOENIX - Life imitating art is all very well. Unless, that is, it’s a movie about deadly snakes on the rampage.

Movie chain AMC Entertainment Inc. said pranksters at one of its Phoenix theaters released two live diamondback rattlesnakes during a showing of the film SNAKES ON A PLANE last Friday. No one was injured.

AMC spokeswoman Melanie Bell said, "One was found in the parking lot during the show, and the other in the movie theater. They were both removed, and no one was harmed." The snakes were later released in the desert. Bell had no further details.

The movie stars Samuel L. Jackson, and spins a yarn about a crate-load of escaped snakes that run amok on an airline flight, attacking passengers and crew.

"There were kids at the show, and it was actually very reckless," Russ Johnson, the president of the Phoenix Herpetological Society told Reuters. "The snakes' bite carries a powerful venom that could have seriously injured someone," he added.


Pilsner Panther

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Stupidity has many faces...


Why am I not surprised? Ever been to Phoenix? The average daytime temperature there this time of year is around a hundred degrees... hot enough, as the old saying goes, to fry an egg on the sidewalk—

And that goes for brains, too!

 [nuts]

There's no shortage of rattlers, either. If you own a home there with any land around it, you're well advised to own both a large dog and a shotgun. That didn't help my cousin, though, whose German Shepherd was bitten by one of those things and barely survived the snakebite.

 [fear]


Offline Dunrobin

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I lived in Tucson for three years back in the 80's, and 100+ degrees is very typical in the summer.  When you go by a bus stop, you'll see people standing in the shade of a telephone pole or whatever they can find.  People used to tell me that a person was considered a "native" if they lived there through 3 summers; by that time your brains were completely baked.

And yes, there are tons of snakes in the surrounding countryside.  When my folks lived down there, one of my mother's favorite pasttimes was to go out into the desert and shoot rattlers!  (She thought it was more fun than just simple target shooting.)