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Costello, Chico and others murdered?

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Offline shemps#1

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Here's a rather interesting (and bold) plug for an upcoming book posted at Stoogeworld by someone claiming to be a descendant of Chico Marx. I am not at all endorsing this and would usually ignore it altogether, but I thought it was interesting enough to repost here. I really don't know what to make of this shit, then again it's almostr 3 AM here.

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I am Chico Marx's great-nephew, on an important mission to expose a shocking truth to the world for the first time ever. Lou Costello and my blood link to the Marx Brothers did not develop their heart conditions by natural means. Our families are working perilously to get this information out to the fans.

We heard about this message board from a friend who said that he has seen many posts about other classic comedians and comedy teams here. We are now starting to spread the word on what really happened to Lou and Chico. We have been legally forced into silence by a certain family (until now), as well as the FDA and certain manufacturers, but we will be silenced no more. An underground publishing house has agreed to help us get the word out about this shocking, decades-old Hollywood cover up.

If we would've gone to a Marx Bros. board or an Abbott & Costello board with this info, we would be spotted by the attorneys of those who are trying to keep this shocking revelation quiet, and our efforts would be halted. This way, you can all spread the word yourselves. But PLEASE, keep this info off the Marx and A&C boards, and please only tell those who you can trust not to post it at those places. The attorneys scan those places constantly and they once had someone from my family banned from a Marx board before she even started posting because her screen name didn't properly identify her as a family member. They told the administrator that the poster was a known troll on boards for classic comedy teams who was especially troublesome, and said nothing more than that. ALSO, please do not attempt to e-mail us about this. The attorneys are locked on to our e-mail addresses and always seem to find out when we change it or get a new one outside our ISPs. We will unfortunately have to deny everything if you e-mail us. We do sincerely apologize to everyone that we lied to or danced around the truth with

It was March of 1945. A druggist by the name of Phillip Longstreth concocted a serum to cure insomnia. When he presented this serum to the FDA, they examined a sample and discovered it to contain many sinister ingredients. Some ingredients were safe, but unusual for a treatment for a kind sleep disorder. Others were declared deadly long before.

Therefore, the FDA immediately rejected it and threatened to contact the authorities if Longstreth ever tried to pass off such a concoction again. Furthermore, the FDA had him traced to his workplace and notified his employer. Longstreth was then out of a job, and his license to prepare medication was revoked. Angered and humiliated, he vowed revenge on the world. Why would these things anger and humiliate him so much? Well, this is where the story gets even more bizarre.

The vow was made directly to the employer, as well as the FDA, in a handwritten letter. This information was taken to the authorities, and a warrant was prepared to search Longstreth's apartment. They hoped to find and confiscate any remaining traces of the evil concoction. Once they arrived, all Longstreth's clothes, valuables and food was gone. The only curious thing they found was a short, cut-out newspaper article on the floor, dated August 8, 1934. The headline read: "Vanquished Vaudeville Vagabond Won't Vamoose". Next to the article was a picture of a trampish-looking man lurking outside a Vaudeville theater. He was identified as Philly Long-- the stage name of Phillip Longstreth.

The article said that he unsuccessfully tried to make a go of his comedy act as a clown-faced hobo. It said, "From 1930-1932, he was booed out of every place where he performed. He often tries to mingle with the big names, but there are obstacles. Whenever the crowds aren't too thick for him to get through to meet them, the big names snub him or tell him his act stunk and to give up on show business". He was known for stomping off flustered, but still lingering to try to approach other big names. Many times, he had to be carried out and tossed onto the street for temper problems. This identifying article is thought to have made him a laughing stock and probably scarred him for life.

When Longstreth was legally banned from his profession as a druggist, he disappeared for about 5 years. A statewide search became a nationwide search involving the FBI within the first year, as concerns grew over what he could be capable of. The years that went by, with no information of his whereabouts or of suspicious occurrences that could be linked to him, caused the heat to die down, and Phillip Longstreth soon was pretty much forgotten.

In 1950, 2 successful Vaudeville stars passed away. One of them was Jimmy Durante's own partner of the era, Lou Clayton. Who exactly the other star was is unknown today, since he or she never partnered up with a future movie star or even advanced to the big screen alone. It is a sure thing that these performers both died of similar heart ailments. Nothing was thought of it at the time, and little to no documentation was made of their deaths or the similarities between them.

In 1955, 3 more big names from Vaudeville, who never made it to motion pictures, passed away. Again, little documentation was made of these deaths or their similarities, but it was said that a suspicious-looking man with a basic matching description of Longstreth was seen wandering around 2 of them just before they died. One relative of one of these dead Vaudeville stars, came forward and said that a man of that description regularly delivered their food items. No store owner admitted to ever employing him, nor did they seem to recall him asking for this family's food items.

You might expect that Longstreth would move on to stars who did make it to the big screen, but never really gained the notoriety of the Marx Brothers, Abbott and Costello or the Three Stooges. No, he aimed right for the big names. I always thought that he might have hit Shemp Howard, but some sources are now saying that he died of a cerebral hemmorage. There was a report that someone slightly resembling Longstreth took a job at the bar Shemp patronized near his California residence. More about this will be in the book.

A suspicious character of Longstreth's basic description was seen fussing with Lou Costello in a restaurant in 1959. The man then stopped the waiter who was bringing Costello's food. One witness saw the man's hand hovering around the food on the tray, but couldn't tell if he actually tampered with it or added anything to it. The man left the restaurant and the waiter delivered the food. Nothing was ever thought of this until Lou died a week later, of the same kind of heart ailment. Traces of Longstreth's evil concoction was found in his blood stream.

In 1961, my great-Uncle Leonard was the next to go. At that time, Longstreth may have been a milkman, delivering bottles to people's houses. A witness said he saw a man tampering with the bottles shortly after they were delivered. The given excuse was that he threw a big stick (which he showed the witness) for a neighborhood dog to fetch, and thought it hit the bottles. He claimed to be inspecting the bottles for damage. This story is unconfirmed because the witness was found to be drunk. Nevertheless, after a week and 3 days, Chico Marx was no more. The official cause of his death was listed as arteriosclerosis, but this was to cover up the actual cause. There was damage to the arteries near the heart, but no arteriosclerosis.

Exactly one month later, a body was found in an ally not far from Chico's house. Phillip "Philly Long" Longstreth was dead at 55 years old, and the autopsy concluded that "the murderer to the stars" used the last of his deadly concoction on himself. What became of his body? Read the book and find out!

Unbelievable story, right? Surely, if this story is true, it would already be common knowledge to the fans of these famous funnymen, right? Wrong. The Longstreth family, the FDA and some manufacturers of the serum's ingredients fought long, tough legal battles to keep this information under wraps, and the court ruled in their favor. Fortunately, the Longstreth family has finally conceded, but the others still persist. Previously, all books, documentaries, websites and such that mentioned Phillip Longstreth were censored or destroyed, and those responsible for them were sued. So none of the accounts of the final days of Clayton, Costello and Marx that were made available to the public up to now, told the whole truth. Don't expect anything currently being worked on or published that you've heard of to tell the whole truth either.

A tell-all book about Mr. Longstreth's story is now being written. If you are into specifics, the legal aspect and locations mentioned will astound you, as well as stories of how Longstreth managed to evade authorities all those years. Singing was also a part his vaudeville act, and this book also tells what famous singers were hit or were suspected to have been hit by Longsthreth. Pictures include one of Longstreth in his vaudeville costume, one from 1951 that may have been him standing beside Red Skelton, the last known pictures of Costello, Marx, Clayton and a few others, and a picture of Longstreth trying to get Costello's attention backstage at a vaudeville show. Was Skelton an actual intended target or a victim of a failed murder attempt? It is said that Clayton's last words included something about Longstreth. Find out more about that in the book.

Thank you for your time and interest in reading this, and for your help in getting the word out. We, the families of Chico Marx and Lou Costello, appreciate your fan support of my great-uncle and his brothers, as well as Lou Costello and Bud Abbott. We also greatly appreciate your help in getting this info out to all trustworthy, interested fans. The book will be available for purchase by the beginning of next year (unless we are stopped again) and we'll tell you how you can get your copy.

Thanks again!
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown


Pilsner Panther

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The "lost" Marx Brother, Gummo, did it. He was also reportedly seen in the vicinity of Dealey Plaza— and at the Audubon Ballroom in Manhattan two years later, when Malcolm X was assassinated.

There's also a signed motel registration card for one "G. Marks" in the room right next to James Earl Ray's, on the day that Martin Luther King was killed.

Not only that, but Bobby Kennedy was reported to be chewing gum when he was shot... a clue?

Harpo Marx was questioned, but he said nothing.

"Exactly one month later, a body was found in an ally [sic] not far from Chico's house. Phillip "Philly Long" Longstreth was dead at 55 years old, and the autopsy concluded that "the murderer to the stars" used the last of his deadly concoction on himself. What became of his body? Read the book and find out!"

Uh, I hate to shoot down anyone's balloon, especially an author who stands to make a good deal of money— but 55, by actuarial (insurance company mortality) reckoning, was about the average male American lifespan in the mid-20th century. Not only that, but Chico had a long and well-documented history of heart trouble at the time he died.

Gummo, now 112 years old, is reported to be living on a remote rubber plantation (where else?) in Tierra Del Fuego, with only a trained penguin for company.

There just aren't enough conspiracy theories around, so I have to make up my own!

 ::)


Offline shemps#1

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Yes, but I thought that this conspiracy theory was well thought out and creatively done.

BTW, I cannot find shit about "Philly Long" on the web; funny huh?
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown


Pilsner Panther

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Yes, but I thought that this conspiracy theory was well thought out and creatively done.

BTW, I cannot find shit about "Philly Long" on the web; funny huh?

Well, if you want to correct the situation, here's your chance:

http://www.longstreth.org/wiki/index.php/Main_Page

Extra points for creativity... "Philly Long" needs a colorful biography. You know, like, "Born 1896 (?). Raised by wolves after his parents died in the Great Rangoon Crut Epidemic of 1902; traveled to Mexico, where he fought with Pancho Villa, over a chili con carne recipe that both men claimed as their own. In the 1920's, piloted a rum-running boat for the Capone gang, later went to Hollywood where he engaged in various nefarious plots. Fought with such distinction in the Spanish Civil War that he was decorated by both sides. On his return to Los Angeles, Longstreth was hired by Walt Disney to break the animators' strike, in 1941. Promoted the career of a young southern California politician, Richard M. Nixon. Spoke very little from middle age on, having lost all his teeth "inna thervith," so not much is known about his activities from 1945 onwards.

"Reportedly, "Philly Long" was instrumental in the overthrow of the Iranian government during the Eisenhower administration, and then moved to Las Vegas, where— despite his advanced age— he became an honorary member of the Rat Pack by schtupping Marilyn Monroe before Frank Sinatra or either of the Kennedy brothers did. Went into seclusion around 1953, brewing up noxious potions in order to poison Chico Marx and Lou Costello, both of whom he despised for beating him at Whist.

"There are no known photographs of Longstreth, but one blurry, faded print has been cited as a "possible."

...etc., etc.



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Gorilla Watson

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Uh, I hate to shoot down anyone's balloon, especially an author who stands to make a good deal of money— but 55, by actuarial (insurance company mortality) reckoning, was about the average male American lifespan in the mid-20th century. Not only that, but Chico had a long and well-documented history of heart trouble at the time he died.


When exactly would an average American male living in the 1920's have been born to die around 55? Shemp was born in 1895 and lived to be 60. Moe was born in 1897 and lived to be 78. Larry was born in 1902 and lived to be 73 (right?). Besser and Derita were born in the later 190_'s and lived to be in their 80's. Curly was the only Stooge that died before age 55. None of the Marxes died quite that young either.

I thought I knew everything about the Marxes, but I didn't know about Chico's history of heart trouble. Can you supply proof? I think I read a version more supportive of this guy's version.

By the way, I like your conspiracy theory. I always thought Gummo had shifty eyes..

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from: shemps#1 on Today at 01:25:00 PM
Yes, but I thought that this conspiracy theory was well thought out and creatively done.

BTW, I cannot find shit about "Philly Long" on the web; funny huh?

Maybe it was like the guy wrote, that the attorneys had all references to Longstreth on the web wiped out. If this "conspiracy theory" turns out to be true, maybe I'll get the book, but not until I hear something positive. Thanks for posting this very interesting sales pitch!


Offline Baggie

 Hello, as an avid Chico Marx fan I can tell you this is bullshit.

 To me it conjures up memories of that godawful Curly book "Beyond The Laughter" or whatever the fuck that was.

 Chico Marx was suffering from heart problems long before he died, not just a week. He suffered his first heart attack way back in 1947, and since then he had had severe heart problems. He and the other brothers made a pilot for the TV show 'Deputy Seraph' in 1959, but it was scrapped as Chico had arteriosclerosis and was uninsurable. The producer and director of the show Phil Rapp could confirm these details.

 Chico suffered a massive heart attack and almost died in April 1961, by which time he was very frail. From around September of 1961 he was bed ridden. Groucho said, "I used to visit him every day, we all knew he was dying." Groucho's son Arthur Marx wrote that in his last few weeks Chico was ready to go, as he couldn't get out of bed anymore and he was too weak to play bridge or chase after his nurse. Maxine Marx in her book about Chico also related that he was ill for years before his death.

 It's also well known that Harpo suffered from heart troubles too. All that I have stated above is common knowledge to a Marx Brothers fan.

 The guy who wrote that crap is probably in trouble with the Marxes for spreading this shit, there is so much evidence against their story.
 
 This just reminds me so much about that woman claiming to be Curly's daughter in that "Beyond The Laughter" book, does anyone else remember that?

 
The artist formerly known as Shempetta


Offline Baggie

 Sorry to post again before any replies but I really don't get it...

 If this is true (which it isn't) why would Chico's wife and family just be like "Oh ok Chico is dead from poisoning" and just get on with it, and then when Philly Long's body is found wouldn't they say "Oh this is the psychotic mentally scarred vaudeville failure who drugged Chico to death for no reason?" Why would this just be covered up for no reason in particular, only to emerge years later?

 Sorry about these ramblings but it's late and I'm tired. I'll go to bed now. And I'll try not to have nightmare about Philly Long. Looking up at my window in the night. Delivering my milk and throwing sticks at the bottles. Tampering with my food. Feeding me his evil wicked concoction. Poison cocktail.

 OK that's enough, goodnight. (I'd like to have that newspaper clipping - charming headline)
The artist formerly known as Shempetta


Pilsner Panther

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Elementary, my dear Watson: the average white male born between 1890 and 1900 had slightly less than a 35% chance of making it to age 30! See:

http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0005140.html

Of course, these are averages, and for the time period, you have to factor in things like World War I and the 1918 flu epidemic, which drives the longevity numbers down considerably. Also, medicine was primitive, and many conditions that are easily curable now, weren't back then.

As to Chico's cardiac problems, he had his first heart attack in 1947 (cited in the Marx Brothers biography "Monkey Business" by Simon Louvish, pg. 358). The Brothers made a TV pilot in 1959, but Chico was in such obviously poor health that the project went nowhere (Louvish, pg. 395). A final heart attack finished him off in 1961.


Pilsner Panther

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Baggie, you beat me to it! Great minds do think alike...

 ;D


Offline shemps#1

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I've got better things to do, like write my own book, then to help perpetuate this guy's myth and fuck with some poor families geneology site in the process.  :laugh:
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown


Gorilla Watson

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Baggie, you really know your stuff! I'd like to see you debate this guy (you too, Pils). You've really got something there if, as this guy alluded to, the attorneys didn't have everything covered up and censored. Is it possible that everything we ever read on Chico's final years was re-written under threat of lawsuit?


Pilsner Panther

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I've got better things to do, like write my own book, then to help perpetuate this guy's myth and fuck with some poor families geneology site in the process.  :laugh:

Hmmm... maybe I ought to do it, then, since I've already made a start. For some reason, I've always been attracted to the bogus biography or autobiography as a form of fiction. The best one I've ever read is Thomas Berger's "Little Big Man:"

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385298293/103-6827393-1849445?v=glance&n=283155

Forget the 1970 movie adaptation with Dustin Hoffman, though, it's a stinker, especially because Hoffman is totally miscast. He's just not believable as a frontiersman, even a very short one. It would have been a great role for the young Buster Keaton, though.

I also recommend "The Poor Mouth" by Flann O'Brien:

http://www.necessaryprose.com/poormouth.htm

A much shorter and more modest effort, but it's hilarious. The basic premise is that the story is told by an Irish peasant who's so poverty-stricken, ignorant, and backward that he accepts everything that happens to him as just a matter of course, no matter how much punishment he has to take. Good stuff— brilliant, even.



Pilsner Panther

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Baggie, you really know your stuff! I'd like to see you debate this guy (you too, Pils).

I have a journalistic background, so I'm used to doing research and fact-checking before publication; you can't do any investigative reporting without having all your ducks in a row first, or else you're likely to be sued!

 [no]

As to debating this guy, he's an obvious fraud and con artist, so it would be a complete waste of my time.


Offline octopus_grabus

Using your great-uncle's name (assuming Chico was his great uncle) in that way to make a quick buck is pretty bad.

The "Deputy Seraph" pilot was supposed to be a tv vehicle for Harpo and Chico. Groucho also appeared in it, perhaps to attract financial backers.  Fragments of the pilot survive, and you can see Chico did not look well even then. I also heard years ago that the project was scrapped because Chico had heart disease and could not be insured.


Offline sgt ladylove

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I hope no one minds if I quote myself.  I just wrote a lengthy reply in the ez board forum and didn't want to rewrite the whole danged thing.  However, I think Baggie beat me to the snark.  :D

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I have never read such a complete load of hogwash in my entire life. This whole thing plays out like a badly written crime novel...except with no plausible plot.

First of all, if the guy was a serial poisoner, why the heck did he submit a sample of his medicine to the FDA for approval?? I mean, if I were a jealous vaudeville actor who wanted to "off" the greats, I probably wouldn't submit a sample of arsenic or belladonna to freakin' chemists and then be shocked to anger that they actually found, you know, arsenic or belladonna. Give me a freakin' break.

Second of all, you seem to completely misunderstand exactly how the FDA works, and how they've worked since after WWII. The FDA takes legitimate products before they even see the light of day and analyzes them *before* they hit shelves. You have to have hundreds of hours of product testing before the FDA will even legally allow your product to see a shelf. To say that this chemist submitted a substance to the FDA that he'd been prescribing to the stars is illogical and ludicrous. Why the hell a pharmacist would be submitting some of his special serum to the FDA straight off the shelf is totally beyond me. **It doesn't work that way.**

Thirdly, why would the FDA be involved in a cover-up when they were the ones who blew his cover to begin with? If they called out a killer, why would they want to cover it up? It doesn't make any damned sense.

Fourthly, why did the dude take the long route in poisoning the stars? Why the pharmacist malarky? Wouldn't it have been more logical, and less likely to blow his cover, if he would simply have started slipping poison into their food to begin with? Having him foolishly submit his medicine so as to make him a recognized poisoner **before** he started going on his random poisonous rampage is, quite frankly, retarded beyond belief.

Your story is melodramatic and illogical. Even as a work of fiction, I would have no desire to read it. I would pick a protagonist who wasn't so insanely stupid as to present his poison for federal inspection, leave obvious clippings at a crime scene, and then have the very people who have it in their best interests to expose him cover up the whole thing.


Pilsner Panther

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I have never read such a complete load of hogwash in my entire life. This whole thing plays out like a badly written crime novel...except with no plausible plot.




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