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ART TROUBLE

Jack and Joe Burton would rather attend University and study higher mathematics, and are appalled when their parents want them to study art in Paris for six months. So the brothers hire two shipyard painters (Shemp and Harry) to take their place in France. Armed with pre-written letters to Mater and Pater, all they have to do is mail one home to acknowledge receipt of each weekly allowance check. That's too much work for Shemp to deal with, so he mails all at the same time, alerting Pater Burton that something in Paris needs to be investigated.

Jimmy Stewart's screen debut, and the honor is rewarded by being slapped around by Shemp.



The French apache dance that Shemp performs is hilarious, and perhaps the most physical routine of comedy he ever performed on film.

Shemp received $250 for this co-starring role.

IMDb Rating

ART TROUBLE on IMDb

Featuring
Shemp Howard (Solo)
Release Date
June 23, 1934
Studio
Vitaphone
Production Type
Short Subject
Duration
21 min.
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Production Notes   (3)
Working Title(s):   THE NUDE DEAL
Prod. No.:   1674-1675
Shooting Days:   5 days   From: 1934-01-17   To: 1934-01-22

Stooge Mayhem   (Avg. 0.00)

Stooge Mayhem is not available for this episode.


Stooge Quotes   (1)
  • "Why don't I come up and see ya sometime when you're in the nude... I mean mood."
    (Shemp Howard)


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Transcript   (Y)

Transcription by Moron4392:  

"ART TROUBLE:" {SAMUEL HORWITZ}: {SOLO SHORT SUBJECT}: {VITAPHONE PRODUCTIONS}: RELEASED ON: JUNE 23, 1934:


{THIS SHORT MARKED THE DEBUT ACTING CAREER FOR "JAMES MAITLAND STEWART"}:


We launch off "ART TROUBLE" where we are seeing an Advertisment Flyer for a cruise with the picture of two palm trees at your left. A cruise yacht that is double stories and has three smoke stackst with smoke coming out of them that are triple coloured red then white then black. The haul of the yacht is painted a black and white chequered pattern sitting on a rough ocean with the picture of three mountains behind the yacht and full sun in shine that reads as follows:


CHECKER
LINE

VISIT THE LAND OF
GOONA GOONA
KEEP ABREAST OF THE TIMES


We are now seeing "SHEMP"; {SAMUEL HORWITZ}; and "HARRY"; {HARRY GRIBBON}; sitting straddled on a painters scaffolding both wearing dirty and tattered white painters jumpers while Shemp has on a long-sleeved plaid shirt and a white painters cap and Harry has a short-sleeved white shirt and a white painters cap.

The two of the both have mischievous looks on their faces as they are now pursuing a stimulating conversation about paint. As the two of them have painting brushes in their hands as we are seeing a painting pail with the words "CHEQUER PAINT" on it.

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is stating to Shemp in a really mischievous voice as he is still holding his painting brush in his right hand and is pointing his left index finger at Shemp}: "Hey, the guy that invented this chequer paint must of made a fortune!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is still straddled on the painters scaffolding with a wiry smile on his face is stating to Harry in a really mischievous voice}: "That's nothing, my Uncle invented an invisible paint, and anything you painted with it became invisible!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is looking at Shemp with a serious look on his face as Harry is stating to Shemp mischievously}: "That should of been worth plenty to the Government during the war."

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is smiling wirly back at Harry and is saying to him in a proud and mischievous voice}: "He made thirty-thousand gallons of it. In fact, the Government offered him a million dollars for it."

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now using hand gestures to support himself is looking at Shemp with a mischievous look on his face and is stating to Shemp in a mischievous voice}: "But, why didn't he sell?"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp has a wiry smile on his face and is using hand gestures to support himself is saying to Harry in an embarrassed and slightly mischievous voice}: "He wanted to, but when he went to look for it, hunha, he couldn't find it!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry now has a devious look on his face and is stating to Shemp in a devious voice}: "Hunha, he couldn't find it!"

We are now getting a close-up on the Chequer Paint Pail as we are now seeing the two painters hard at work as Harry is sitting straddled on the painters scaffolding and Shemp is kneeling on it as they are dipping their painting brushes into the paint and are magically painting the haul of the yacht with each brush stroke a black and white chequered pattern.

At first, Harry was having success with his painting as he was from stroke one producing the chequered pattern while it took Shemp several strokes of just black looking paint before his chequered pattern started to materialise. All the while that they were hard at work their scaffolding was swaying to and fro and we were hearing other boat whistles in the back-ground.

We are now in the residence of "PATER; {RICHARD}; BURTON:" {GAYNE WHITMAN}; and "MATER; {MARTHA}; BURTON; {HOPE LANDIN}. The Parlour Quarters where they are at is decorated lovely in dark cherry wood, the window is of stained glass with white lace window treatment and valance, and it is slightly opened. Plus a beautiful wooden planked flooring with several floral pattern toss rugs on it. Plus there is a west wall with a cut-out with several oil painting of flowers and decorative plate ware on the wall. Plus there is a pretty, huge fire place with a lattice pattern carved on it and a lattice pattern fire gate with a fire burning. On top of mantel piece there are four sterling silver candlesticks with candles that are lit. There are two book shelvings on either side of the fire place with books and busts on them. There are also four ending tables scattered throughout. The two closest to the fire place have lamps on them one of white ceramic and the other one of sterling silver. The other two ending tables have on them statues. Plus there is a dining table and four chairs all of dark cherry wood and a carved filigree pattern. The chair cushions of a rose linen pattern plus sitting on the table in a cut glass vase are white roses.

We are now seeing Pater Burton standing by the opened window with a really disgusted look on his face as he is dressed in a dark bleu suit, white dress shirt, bleu and white stripped tie, and black dress shoes and he is smoking a stogie. We are also seeing Mater Burton sitting on one of the dining chairs dressed in a full-lengthed black linen dress, flesh coloured stockin's, black cubed heel shoes and a long white pearl necklace.

We are now seeing the two Burton Brothers; "JOE BURTON"; and "JACK BURTON"; {JAMES MAITLAND STEWART}; both dressed in dark grey suits, white dress shirts, grey and white stripped ties and black dress shoes. Both of them are looking at the floor with really disgusted looks on their faces as Joe Burton is leaning against the dining table with his legs crossed and extended forwards as he has his hands behind himself on the table. Jack Burton is sitting on one of the dining chairs with his legs extended forwards and is smoking a cigarette. As they wanted to further their educations in higher trigonometry mathematics and become engineers one day while Mater Burton is trying to force them to go to Paris and become artists.

PATER BURTON to MATER BURTON: {As he is still smoking his stogie and is walking over to her with a mad look on his face as he is saying to her in a disgusted voice}: "Martha, why not let the boys choose their own careers?"

MATER BURTON to PATER BURTON: {As she is still sitting in her chair with a really evil look on hier face as she is stating to him in a really disgusted voice as she is now standing up next to him}: "No, I insist that they complete their art studies under the tootalidge of the 'Famous Painter' of "Renée Blanquette!"

SON JOE BURTON to MATER BURTON: {As we are now seeing Joe still with his hands on the dining table and with a hurtful look on his face and is saying to her in a really sad and pleading voice}: "But Mater, we don't want to go to Paris!"

SON JACK BURTON to MATER and PATER BURTON: {As Jack is now getting up from his chair with another lit cigarette and a really disgusted look on his face as he is now approaching his brother and is also saying to Mater and Pater Burton in a really mad voice}: "No, we don't wanna go to Paris!"

MATER BURTON to SONS JOE and JACK BURTON: {As she is looking at them with a really disgusted look on her face as she is using hand gestures to support herelf and is saying to them in a mad voice}: "The subject is closed. I have great hopes for you boys, one or both of you must become the next great American artist."

PATER BURTON to HIS SONS JOE and JACK BURTON: {As we are now seeing Mater and Pater Burton standing next to one another by the window while the two brothers are standing there looking at the floor with really whipped puppy looks on their faces}: "Well boys, here are your tickets, and here is the address of the studio that I've least for you, and you will receive your allowances weekly."

SAD SONS JOE and JACK BURTON to PATER BURTON: {As they both still have their whipped puppy looks on their faces as Joe Burton is now taking the tickets from Pater as the two brothers are stating in a sad and unison voice}: "Thanks, Pater."

MATER BURTON to HER TWO SAD SONS JOE and JACK BURTON: {As she is now pointing a finger at them and has a serious look on her face as she is saying to them in a serious voice}: "And, don't forget to write every week and let us know how you are progressing."

SAD SONS JOE and JACK BURTON to MATER BURTON: {As the two brothers still have their sad and mournful looks on their faces as they are saying to her in a sad and unison voice}: "Yes, Mater."

We are now getting a close-up on Martha and Richard Burton as Pater Burton is standing there with a disgusted look on his face as he is still enjoying his stogie and Mater Burton is standing there with her head bent forwards slightly and a really happy smile on her face.

MARTHA BURTON to RICHARD BURTON: {As she has now tapped him gently on his right hand and is turning to exit is saying to him in a really serious voice}: "Come Richard, we must dress for the Clam Bake at Mulligans Field Garden."

We are now seeing Martha and Richard Burton exiting to get ready for their Clam Bake.

We are now seeing the Two Burton Brothers standing there with really disgusted looks on their faces.

BROTHER JOE BURTON to his BROTHER JACK BURTON: {As Joe is now tossing their tickets to the floor and is stating to Jack in a really disgusted voice}: "I don't wanna go to Paris!"

BROTHER JACK BURTON to his BROTHER JOE BURTON: {As Jack is looking at his brother with a really disgusted look as he is saying to him in a really mad tone of a voice as Jack is now igniting another cigarette}: "Neither do I."

BROTHER JOE BURTON to his BROTHER JACK BURTON: {As Joe has a wicked look on his face and is stating to Jack in a really disgusted voice}: "Sit around all day painting alot of nude woman!"

BROTHER JACK BURTON to his BROTHER JOE BURTON: {As Jace now has a really wicked and disgusted look on his face and is stating to his brother in a really disgusted voice}: "Yeah, and drinking alot of champagne all night long in some nortorious café."

BROTHER JOE BURTON to his BROTHER JACK BURTON: {As Joe is stating to his brother with a mad look and is using a hurtful voice}: "Yes, and I had my heart set on taking a Post-Graduate Course in Trigonometry!"

BROTHER JACK BURTON to his BROTHER JOE BURTON: {As Jack is looking at his brother with a really sad look as he is stating to him in a really sad and low tone voice}: "Me too!"

BROTHER JOE BURTON to his BROTHER JACK BURTON: {As we are now seeing a 'Light Bulb' burning over his head as he is now brain scheming an idea as he now has a look of mischief on his face and is using a scheming voice}: "Oh, I have and idea, maybe we can get a couple of painters to take our place!"

BROTHER JACK BURTON to his BROTHER JOE BURTON: {As Jack is standing there with a glazed look on his face as he is stating to his brother in a worried voice}: "But don't you think Pater and Mater will get wise?"

BROTHER JOE BURTON to his BROTHER JACK BURTON: {As Joe is now looking at his brother with a devious look as he is slightly looking in the direction of Mater and Pater's bedroom quarters to see if the coast is clear and is now stating to Jack mischievously}: "Who them? Never!"

BROTHER JACK BURTON to his BROHTER JOE BURTON: {As Jack is looking at his brother with a smile of mischief as he is pointing a finger at his in a state of mischief and says to Joe gleefully}: "Well do it!"

We are now back at the ship yards where we are seeing the 'Two Famous Painters' Shemp and Harry as they have now completed their painting task as they are dressed in casual dress ware; {Shemp in a grey plaid suit, white dress shirt, no tie black dress shoes and a black hat with a grey band}: {Harry is dressed in a dark bleu suit, white dress shirt, no tie and black dress shoes and a bleu hat with a white band}. As we are heat boat whistles blowing and the decoré of the area that they are in consists of eight feed sacks and a dozen full sized whiskey kegs stacked in a triangle pattern.

Shemp is now louging out as he is resting his back against two of the feed sacks with his legs slightly stretched out and bent at his knees as he is now taking a piece of folded paper from his right inside suit jacket pocket. Harry is now sitting down on the edge of two feed sacks as he is now yawning and stretching and is in the process of getting comfortable himself as he is now sitting side saddle on two feed sacks and his back is up against three other feed sacks.

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is sitting there smoking on a stogie with a look of glee on his face as he is stating to Shemp in a happy voice}: "Oh boy, I'm glad that's over, this is the first job we had in six months and I hope it's the last!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp now has a mischievous look on his face and is stating to Harry in a mischievous voice as Shemp is now un-folding his piece of paper}: "So do I, I thought it would never end!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now looking at Shemp with a really dazed look on his face as he is asking Shemp in a quizzical tone of a voice}: "What are you reading?"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is still comfortably lounged out on his feed sacks and is well engulfed in reading his piece of paper with a serious look on his face as he is stating to Harry in a serious voice}: "It's a letter from my girl!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry now has a mischievous smile on his face and is asking Shemp in a happy and mischievous voice}: "Henha, hunha, what does she say?"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now sitting up on his feed sacks with a wiry smile on his face as he is now handing Harry his letter}: "Nothing much!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now opening the letter and finding out it is a blank sheet of paper as he is sitting on the side of his feed sacks with a mad look on his face as he is now handing Shemp back his letter and is saying to him in a mad voice}: "Why, there's nothing on there!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now taking back his letter from Harry and is placing it back in his right inside suit jacket pocket and is looking at Harry with a wiry look and is saying to him in a mischievous voice}: "That's right, we're not on speaking terms!"

We are now seeing Shemp and Harry looking out forwards with dazed looks on their faces as Shemp has finished putting away his letter.

We are now seeing Joe Burton walking briskly up to Harry as Jack Burton is now approaching Shemp at a brisk pace.

JOE BURTON to SHEMP and HARRY: {As Joe is now looking at Shemp and Harry with a really serious look as Joe is asking them in a really serious voice}: "Are you boys working?"

Harry and Shemp are now standing there in a really mad state as Harry is now shaking and smacking Joe Burton in a state of madness as Shemp is now shaking and smacking Jack Burton in a total state of madness.

SHEMP to JACK BURTON: {As Shemp is now thoroughly disgusted with Jack as he is still slapping and shaking Jack wickedly and viciously}: "Why, are you standing, there, why are you asking us that, we don't wanna talk with you!"

HARRY to JOE BURTON: {As Harry has now stopped shaking and smacking him is now shouting at him in a loud and totally disgusted voice}: "That's a fine idea!"

Brothers Joe Burton and Jack Burton are now regaining their composure as they are now straightening up their suits and putting back on their hats as Shemp and Harry are looking at them thoroughly disgustedly.

JOE BURTON to SHEMP and HARRY: {As Joe now has a hurtful look on his face and is asking them in a really meek tone of a of a voice as Joe is holding his hat}: "Well, all I did was ask if you boys were working!"

We are now seeing Harry standing there with his eyes bugged out and his mouth agait as Joe Burton is standing there with his hands clasped together and is looking at Jack Burton with a dazed look as Shemp is now looking at Harry with a worried look as Jack Burton is looking down at his suit jacket and is straightening it up a bit more as he is re-buttoning it.

HARRY to JOE BURTON: {As Harry is still bug-eyed and has a really evil look on his face as he is wickedly shouting at Joe}: "Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh; what a great how-do-you-do?"

SHEMP to HARRY and JACK BURTON and JOE BURTON: {As Shemp is now fixing up his hat and is slapping his legs with his hand and is saying in a devious tone of a voice}: "It's gettin' so you can't go around here without getting insulted!"

JOE BURTON to HARRY and SHEMP: {As Joe is now getting glared at by Harry and he has a really meek look on his face and Joe is using a low and meek voice}: "Well, I apologise!"

HARRY to JOE BURTON: {As Harry is looking at Joe with a really evil look on his face as Harry is wagging his right index finger at him and is shouting at him}: "Well, don't you let it happen again!"

JOE BURTON to HARRY: {As Joe is looking at Harry with a serious look as Joe is now explaining to him in a really serious voice}: "Well, you see, were looking for a couple of good painters!"

HARRY to JOE BURTON: {As Harry now has a smudged look on his face and is saying to him in a gleeful tone of a voice}: "Unha-unha-unha-unha; ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh, well, aaaaha-aaaaha-aaaaha; we're painters."

SHEMP to JOE BURTON: {As Shemp now has a mischievous look as Shemp is now moving his right hand at first up, then completes a full square and then waves it in all different directions states mischievously}: "Yeah, we paint up and down, sideways. He's a triple stroker." {Here we are now seeing Shemp patting Harry on his back}:

JOE BURTON to SHEMP and HARRY: {As Joe has a mischievous smile on his face as he is now asking Harry and Shemp in a serious voice}: "How would you like to go to Paris and improve your techniques?"

HARRY to JOE BURTON: {As Harry is standing there with a really contented look on his face as he is now sighing happily and is saying in a really contented voice}: "Aaaah-aaaah-aaaah-aaaah, there's nothing like going to Paris to improve your techniques."

SHEMP: {As he now has a serious look on his face and is standing there at attention and is saluting and clicking his heels together and is saying in a serious voice}: "Viva La Francey!"

JACK BURTON to SHEMP: {As Jack is now slightly tipping his hat at Shemp and has a hurtful look on his face as Jack is now explaining to Shemp his dilema in a serious voice}: "You see, our, our, parents want us to go to Paris to improve our painting."

JOE BURTON and JACK BURTON: {As the Two Brothers have looks of dismay on their faces as they are wagging their right index fingers at each other and are saying in unison, hurtful voices}: "But, aaaah, se don't wanna go!"

SHEMP and HARRY: {As they are now mischievously mimicking the Burton Brothers as Shemp and Harry are wagging their right index fingers to one another and are saying in a devious, unison voices}: "They don't wanna go!"

JOE BURTON to HARRY: {As Joe is now looking at Harry with a serious look on his face as Joe is stating to Harry in a serious voice}: "We'd like to hire you boys to impersonate us, are you interested?"

HARRY to JOE BURTON: {As Harry is now waving his right hand at him in agreement as Harry is now grinning from ear to ear in delight as Harry is saying to Joe in a really joyful voice}: "Unha; proceed!"

SHEMP to JOE BURTON: {As Shemp is now in a full blown state of mischief and is pointing his right index finger and is saying to Joe in a really mischievous voice}: "CONTINUE!"

Shemp and Harry are now looking at Joe Burton with really joyful looks on their faces.

JOE BURTON to SHEMP and HARRY: {As Joe is now reaching into his right side trousers pocket and is taking out their plane tickets and is saying to Shemp and Harry in a really happy voice}: "Well, here are the tickets to Paris, First Class, and here is the address of the studio, all paid for, and five hundred dollars for tips!"

SHEMP to JOE BURTON: {As Shemp now has a really devious look on his face as Shemp is now tipping his hat at Joe and is saying in a mischievous voice}: "Thanks, for the tip!"

JACK BURTON to SHEMP and HARRY: {As Jack is now taking some envelopes from his left side trousers pocket as he is explaining to Shemp and Harry in a serious voice}: "Now, each week you'll receive a cheque covering all your expenses, now all you have to do is to mail one of these letters ever time you recieve a cheque, understand?"

SHEMP to JACK BURTON: {As Shemp is now happily grabbing the letters from Jack and is stating to him in a devious voice}: "Here, give me those letters, I got it!"

JOE BURTON to SHEMP and HARRY: {As Joe is looking at Shemp and Harry with a really worried look as Joe is saying to them in a really worried voice}: "That's fine, but don't forget to mail a letter every time you receive a cheque!"

SHEMP and HARRY to JOE BURTON and JACK BURTON: {As Shemp and Harry are now hysteric with glee as they are now bowing in unison to him and are saying in unison mischievously}: "Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh; we won't!"

BROTHERS JOE BURTON and JACK BURTON: {As they now have really joyful looks on their faces as they are now saying in a joyful unison voices}: "On to Woonsocket!"

We are now seeing a couple pairs of "Happy Campers" as The Burton Brothers are now merrily on their ways to 'Woonsocket University' to pursue their dreams of completing their advanced studies in higher trigonometry mathematics and 'The Two Famous Painters' are now on their way to 'Gaye Paree' to pursue their painting techniques.

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is standing there gleefully shuffling through their goodies with a really happy look on his face as she is stating to Shemp in a really gleeful tone of a voice}: "Hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha; two tickets for Paris, First Class, a studio all paid for, and five hundred dollars for tips!" {Here we are seeing Harry gleefully flipping the money}: "Why you"; {Here Harry is now twisting Shemps bugle as we are hearing a sound like a kids toy kazoo being blown}:

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now looking at Harry with a really mean look on his face as Shemp is stating to Harry in a really wicked voice}: "What's the idea?"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now wagging his left index finger to Shemp in madness and with a mad smirk on his face is stating to Shemp mischievously}: "You said, there was no Santie Claus!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is looking at Harry with a mad look on his face and is using a mad tone of voice}: "I still say there's no Santie Claus!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry now has a mad look on his face and is now shoving Shemp with his right arm and meanly throwing Shemp to the floor}: "Oh, sit down!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now standing up with an evil look on his face as he now has his right hand in a fist is shouting at Harry wickedly}: "If I was muscle bound!"

We are now in Paris France, as we are getting a gorgeous shot of the slightly ripping Scène River. Beautiful brick gateway outlining both the Left and Right Banks. Perfectly beautiful cloudless bleu skyeline and a really beautiful full sun shining down on the Eiffel Tower. Plus a beautiful shot of the Lovré Bridge and several lovely boats floating lazily down the river.

We are now seeing a sign on the side of the building of their art school of 'The Two Famous Painters' Monsieur Shemp and Monsieur Harry. It is made out of dark brown wood with a white painted board with black hand painted words that reads as follows:

5 Rue DeVallee
JACK and JOE BURTON
PAINTERS
WHITEWASHING OUR SPECIALTY

We are now seeing a glimpse of the Art Studio it is a dark, dreary, chipped up olde building made of painted metal and with a small, dirty sets of glass windows.

We are now inside of the Art Studio. There are paintings on a dirty, dreary, dank, and chipped up cement walls, seven of the paintings are of different landscapings, plus tow ot the paintings on the wall are of beautiful young Ladies. Plus one art work is that of a chipped up painted chair with a white bowl glued to it hanging from the wall. Plus sitting on the gauged up wooden floor is a portrait painting of two mens faces. Plus on a side wall of dirty, and beat up cement wall we are seeing stacked every which way several painters easels, and blank canvasses. There are also several painters smocks hanging from that same north wall. There are also three small butchers block style chipped up wooden tables spaced throughout. One of the tables has a chipped up statue on it, while a table on the north wall underneath the painters smocks has on it different painters supplies, brushes, painting palettes, and paints. Plus there are three really filthy toss rugs of a floral print on the scarred wooden plank floor. Plus on an east wall are four beat out small shelvings with white ceramic carved busts on them. Plus there is another exit door at your west.

We are now seeing Painters Monsieur Shemp and Monsieur Harry standing in the studio as Harry is leaning on their painters trunk on his right arm as he has his left hand on his waist and is glaring at Shemp. Shemp is standing behind their painters trunk as he is now looking at Harry with a really worried look on his face. Both of the are dressed in black dress trousers, black dress shoes, black painters smocks and black tamara-shams.

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now asking Harry in a really scared voice}: "Do you think we can get away with this artists racket?"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is looking at Shemp with a really positive look as Harry is saying to Shemp in a sing-song style of an uplifting voice}: "Why, it's a cinch, at one time I painted a full length picture of 'Venus', but it turned out to be a bust, hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is looking at Harry with a wiry look on his face as Shemp is stating to Harry in a dazed voice}: "I get it!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry has his right hand on his waist and is waving his left hand at Shemp as he now has a really gleeful smile on his face as he is stating to Shemp in a happy tone of a voice}: "Come on, say, let's get out our paints and brushes in case we got to go to work!"

Harry is now opening their painters trunk as we are seeing on the back of it two shelvings with a dozen of different paint pails on it. He is also liftingup a flap on the left side of the trunk that is covering all of their different sizes of painting brushes.

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry has a really contented look on his face as he is saying to Shemp in a low and really contented voice as he has now flipped back the flap as we are now seeing their different painting brushes}: "Oh boy, aaaah, yes!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp has a really happy look on his face and is saying to Harry in a really gleeful tone of a voice as he is now pointing to their brushes collection}: "A full line eha?"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now in a really happy state and is now in the process of removing some of their paint pails from their trunk}: "You said it! Come on, turkey, give me a hand."

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is pointing a finger at Harry in agreement and with a cheerful look on his face as Shemp is using a cheerful voice and is now "getting out" some more of their painting pails}: "Okay!"

We are now in the process of seeing Shemp and Harry un-loading their paint from their trunk as Harry is now taking over two paint pails and are setting them down. Shemp has his hands cupped like he is holding onto a couple of paint pails as Shemp is now carrying over nothing; {for now} and is setting them down. This procedure has now happened twice as Harry is now wondering why Shemp has not carried over any paint pails.

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now looking at Shemp with a dazed look on his face as he is asking Shemp in a mad and questionable tone of a voice}: "What do you think you're doing?"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is pointing his left index finger at their trunk and has a mischievous look on his face as he is stating to Harry in a really mischievous voice}: "Oh, I forgot to tell you, just before I left I found a few cans of my Uncle's invisible paint."

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now slapping his thighs with his hands and has a look of wonderment on his face as he is asking Shemp in a questionable voice}: "Well, how could you see it?"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now looking at Harry with a wiry smile on his face and is using a mischievous voice}: "I broke my glasses!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry now has a really mad look on his face as he is now shouting at Shemp in a really low and mad voice}: "Come on!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now looking at the floor where their paint pails are and is now straightening them up}: "Wait a minute, wait a minute!"

Harry is now walking over to their trunk to get a few more paint pails as he is now looking out of a window in dazement as Shemp is now approaching Harry and their trunk.

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry now has a really surprised look on his face as he is saying to Shemp in a really happy voice}: "Oh, hey, get a load of this!"

Harry and Shemp are now looking out of a studio window as we are now getting a look of Paris at night. There are several street lights lighting up the streets, lovely looking lit up buildings, and people mingling around the sidewalks and streets with automobiles driving on the streets.

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry has a really happy look on his face and is saying in a really happy voice}: "So this is Paris, the land of wine, woman, and French Post-Cards. Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh; and say, there's one of them art students working over-time!"

Here we are seeing a lady standing on a stand, with her left leg bent at the knee and is on her toes as she has her left arm slightly raised and bent at the elbow as she is holding a small ball in her left thumb and third finger. She also has he right arm bent as she has her right hand on her waist and her right leg is completely straight. She is dressed in a short-lengthed, white, long-sleeved dress. She is also barefooted.

We are now seeing the artist standing in front of his painters easel and canves dressed in a painters smock and French Barrette as he is now happily painting the lady.

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp has now noticed the lovely Lady model and has a really mischievous look on his face and is stating to Harry in a really mischievous voice}: "I see where I'm gonna to do alot of homework!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now looking at Shemp with a proud look as he is saying to Shemp in a really proud voice as Harry is now bowing at Shemp}: "Bonsieura, Monsieura!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp now has a happy look on his face as he is now bowing back to Harry in a state of pride}: "Bonsour, Missour!"

SHEMP and HARRY: {As they are looking at one another with happy looks on their faces and they are pointing a finger in the aire and are stating in proud unison voices}: "Viva La France!"

Here we are now seeing the two happy painters dancing with one another as they are now doing a forwards and backwards shuffle style of soft-shoe dance as Shemp is now doing a tap style of a march dance to his left as Harry is now marching in place. We are now seeing Harry shuffling from side to side as Shemp is now bent at his kness with his arms folded and is kicking his legs out forwards. Harry is now marching in place with his arms extended forwards as Shemp is no on the floor and does a complete somersault. Now we are seeing Shemp and Harry joining hands as Harry is swaying from side to side as Shemp is now kicking his legs forwards lik a chorus line style of a dance. Harry and Shemp are now doing a waltz-tap style of dance, forwards and backwards as they have now done a full pieroet each. All the while that they were dancing with one another they were singing: {"Oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; doa-heefa-sue; doa-heefa-sue; doa-heefa-sue; doa-heefa-sue; doa-heefa-sue; doa-heefa-sue; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; hooha; hooha; hooha; hooha; boy do I love France, hooha, booba, oh-geese, yes, yes, see, see, Viva La France. Bee-bee-boa, hola, lay see it, pick, see La France, see, see, tanta-tanta-tanta-tanta; la-la-la-la; tanta-la; tanta-la; tanta-la; tanta-la; ooooh-boy, bee-boha, bee-boy, booba, Viva La France. Oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; oh-fee; doa-heefa-sue; doa-heefa-sue; doa-heefa-sue; doa-heefa-sue; doa-heefa-sue; doa-heefa-sue; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; oh-geese-ha; hooha; hooha; hooha; hooha; boy do I love France, hooha, booba, oh-geese, yes, yes, see, see, Viva La France. Bee-bee-boa, hola, lay see it, pick, see La France, see, see, tanta-tanta-tanta-tanta; la-la-la-la; tanta-la; tanta-la; tanta-la; tanta-la; ooooh-boy, bee-boha, bee-boy, booba, Viva La France.}:

They are now getting their song and dance routine interrupted as they are now hearing someone rapping on the side studio door.

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now coming to an abrupt hault in his singing and dancing with Shemp as he is now hearing someone rapping on the door as he is looking from side to side with a dazed look on his face as Shemp is now also looking at the door with a dazed look on his face as Harry is now waving his right hand in the aire and is using a sorry excuse of French accent as he is saying}: "Oh, maybe it's a customer?!"

HARRY to THE DOOR: {As Harry is now using a serious voice says}: "Entrée!"

SHEMP: {As he now has a mischievous look on his face as he is using a mischievous voice and hand gestures to show the size large}: "I'll skip the 'Entrée, just give me a large demitasse!"

HARRY to the PERSON AT THE DOOR: {As Harry is now looking at the door with a serious look on his face as he is raising his left hand in the aire and is saying in a serious voice}: "Entrée, come on in!"

We are now seeing a "FAT OLDER LADY"; {GERTRUDE MUDGE}; entering the studio dressed in a full length flower print taffata style of a dress with a ruffle style of a collar and three huge gold buttons on the front at the neckline, a black belt. She is wearing also pearl style of earrings, white hat and white wrist length gloves, white leather pocketbook, as she has a white flower print parasol on her left wrist as it is hanging down by her left side. She is also carrying a pair of spectacles on a cord around her neck.

HARRY to the FAT LADY CUSTOMER: {As Harry now has a really happy and serious smile on his face as Harry is using a really professional voice as he is gently taking her by her arm and is helping her into the studio}: "How do you do?"

FAT LADY CUSTOMER to SHEMP and HARRY: {As she has a really happy look on her face and is asking them in a really happy tone of a voice}: "You are, umpha, the Frère du la bai temps, oui?"

SHEMP and HARRY to the FAT LADY CUSTOMER: {As Shemp and Harry are looking at her with gleeful smiles on their faces as Shemp is holding his hat in his hands and they are bowing to her slightly}: "Oui!"

FAT LADY CUSTOMER to SHEMP and HARRY: {As she is now wearing her spectacles with a happy smile on her face as she is now introducing herself to them}: "I am Madame De Berry!"

SHEMP to MADAME DE BERRY: {As Shemp is pointing a finger at her with a mischievous look on his face as he is saying to her in a mischievous voice}: "Madame, you're the nuts!"

MADAME DE BERRY to SHEMP: {As she is now standing there with her eyes bugging out of her head and a really evil look on her face as she is wickedly shouting at Shemp}: "No, Berry! What do you painting?" {Here she is now back in a happy mood}:

HARRY to MADAME DE BERRY: {As Harry is looking at her with a huge smile on his face as he is saying to her in a really professional voice}: "Well, I paint boats."

MADAME DE BERRY to HARRY: {As she has now removed her spectacles and has a happy look on her face as she is saying to Harry in a serious voice}: "Oh, you specialise in maraine painting?"

HARRY to MADAME DE BERRY: {As he is shaking his head negatively from side to side and with a dazed look on his face as he is stating to her in a really dazed voice}: "No, unha, I paint boats!"

MADAME DE BERRY to HARRY: {As she is now totally happy and is saying to Harry in a really pleasant voice}: "I'd love to have you paint a picture of my ancestours."

HARRY to MADAME DE BERRY: {As Harry now has a really mischievous look on his face as he is saying to her in a sing-song style of a voice as he is trying to mimic her}: "Well, I'm sorry madame, I don't paint ancestours!"

SHEMP to MADAME DE BERRY: {As Shemp is now looking at her with a wiry smile as Shemp is pointing a finger at her and is saying to her in a devious voice}: "All he can paint is boats!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now looking at Shemp with a worried look and is saying to Shemp in a low and worried voice}: "Yes!"

MADAME DE BERRY to HARRY: {As she is now still being persistant as she is looking at Harry with a really happy look and is saying to Harry in a gleeful voice}: "If you paint my ancestours, I will give you fifty-thousand francs."

HARRY to MADAME DE BERRY: {As Harry is now having a change of mind as he is now slightly stammering and is looking at her with a devious smile and is using a con-artist style of a voice}: "Humha, well, humha, of course if you insist. Why, I'll paint your ancestours!"

SHEMP to MADAME DE BERRY: {As Shemp is pointing a finger at her and has a worried look on his face as Shemp is saying to her in a worried voice}: "But, they're gonna look like boats!"

MADAME DE BERRY to SHEMP: {As she is now looking at Shemp with a happy look as she is now putting back on her spectacles as she is asking Shemp in a really questionable voice}: "A-Dieux, Monsieur, what do you paint?"

SHEMP to MADAME DE BERRY: {As Shemp is standing there in a state of pride as he is saying to her in a proud voice}: " I paint men and women!"

MADAME DE BERRY to SHEMP: {As she is now slightly regaining her hopes in getting a painting of her ancestours is asking Shemp in a happy and questionable voice}: "In oil and on canvas?"

SHEMP to MADAME DE BERRY: {As Shemp now has a really wicked look on his face as Shemp is using hand gestures like he is using a painting brush as he is making up and down strokes is saying to her mischievously}: "No, I paint men on one door and women on another door!"

We are now seeing Madame De Berry storming out of the studio in a fit of rage as Harry is now looking at Shemp with a really filthy look.

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now looking at Harry with a dazed look as Shemp is asking Harry in a worried voice}: "What did we do, lose her?"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now thoroughly disgusted with Shemp as he now has a mad look on his face and is saying to Shemp in a thoroughly disgusted voice}: "I don't know? It looks like it!"

We are now inside of a Little French Café where we are seeing a page from a French Newspaper called "Les Spectacles@ that is divided into twenty-four squares advertising different acts that are appearing in Paris:

{NEWSPAPER LIST START TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY};

1: Natelier Valpone.
2: de la Folie L'are.
3: Le Ciel Bravo.
4: Les Ballet Du Temps.
5: La Madame La Fuge.
6: La Lancelot Valence De.
7: Cipolet De Paris.
8: Grandé Circolet -- La Fasser De Monsieurs.
9: Nélo.
10: Fantastic Francettes.
11: Lé Magnifique Collier.
12: Lé Superb Mengelberg.
13: Monèqué Petite Femmé Nana Chemise.
14: Monsieur Schneevoigt The Great Magician.
15: In Person -- Live Tooté Des La Grangé.
16: Empire Maurice Chevalier.
17: Busquéts.
18: Palace -- 4 Raquel Keller.
19: Lé Magnifique Sept.
20: Parre Dance Of Ballet.
21: The Paris Foley.
22: Lé Comedy Groupe -- Spoom.
23: Come Sing And Dance With Monsieur Babbet.
24: Paris At Night Dancing.

{NEWSPAPER LIST ENDING TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY}:

We are now inside of a Little French Café that is decorated with a fire place and wooden mantle. There is an oil painting og a house with a white crosse wooden fencing around it, several tall full leafed trees, a cloudless bleu skyeline and a full sun. Plus on a back wall there are four shelvings with bottles of wine on them. Plus on the same wall as the wine bottles there are several oil painting of people and three white clay busts. Plus there is a large stair-way that leads to a back room area. Plus on another wall there is one little dank window and on each side of the window there are oil paintings of landscapes and above the window there is a picture of a person. On another wall there are several more dirty, torn and tattered oil paintings of persons and landscapings and a couple of dimly lit candles.

Plus in the Café there are eight tables all with red and white coloured Gingham chequed cloth table coverings with fringe on them and lit candles.

AT TABLE ONE: {One nearest your screen}: There is a couple in their mid-thirties. He is dressed in a dark grey suit, white dress shirt, dark grey and white stripped tie and black dress shoes. She is wearing a black full-lengthed, three-quartered sleeved dress, with a white fur trim collar, several bracellets on her right arm. A small fur cap}:

AT TABLE TWO: {Just behind table one}: There is another couple, he is wearing a tuxedo while she has on a black silk jacket, a white lace trimmed button down blouse and a rull length-black silk skirt and spike heeled black dress shoes}:

AT TABLE THREE: {Right across from table two}: There are three people. Two Ladies and one gentleman. The Gentleman is dressed in a plaid shirt, black bow-tie, black opened cardigan sweater, dark grey dress trousers and black dress shoes. The Lady on his right side is dressed in a black linen knee-length skirt, flesh coloured stockins', black high heeled shoe, a short-sleeved grey coloured lace, v-neck shirt, black and grey hat and she is smoking a cigarette. The lady on his left is dress in a grey knee-length skrit, black stockins', black and white short-sleeved sweater, and a black hat and she too, is smoking a cigarette}:

AT TABLE FOUR: {Right across the floor from table three}: There is a lady and a gentleman. He is dressed in a tuxedo, and a chequered cap. She is wearing a long-sleeved black and white pazzley print dress, black belt and black stockins' and black heeled dress shoes}:

AT TABLE FIVE: {Across the floor from table four}: There is a gentleman dressed in his Dress Marine Uniform and his wife is dressed in a full length black-long sleeved lace dress, white short string of pearls, black elbow length gloves, and black spiked heeled shoes}:

AT TABLE SIX: {Across from table five}: There are two young ladies both smoking cigarettes while the lady on your left is dressed in a "BLACK SHORT-SLEEVED, V-NECK, SATIN DRESS"; {BEATRICE BLINN}; white chain necklace, a huge white flower pin and a black hat with a white band and black heeled dress shoes. The other lady is dressed in a "BLACK BOAT NECK CUT BLACK DRESS, HUGE WHITE LACE COLLAR, THREE-QUARTER SLEEVED DRESS WITH WHITE LACE TRIM; {LENI STENGEL}; a white hat with a huge feather at the back, and several different length silvery chains.

AT TABLE SEVEN: {Kitty corner from table six}: There are two couples. The first couple to the left of your screen are in their early forties. He is dressed in a black suit, white dress shirt, black and white stripped tie, and black dress shoes. His wife is dressed in a full-length, long-sleeved white chiffon dress, with white lace collar, long pearl necklace and a white hat. The second couple, to the right of your screen are also in their forties. He is dressed in a black tuxedo, long black and white tuxedo style of tie and a black top hat. His wife is dressed in a full length, black velvet skirt, high collar white laced, long-sleeved blouse, wrist length black gloves and a black hat with a white band with a flower on it.

AT TABLE EIGHT: {The neighbouring table to six}: Are our Two Famous Painters, Monsieur Shemp and Monsieur Harry. They are dressed in 'Little Lord Fauntleroy Suits', black knee length trousers, black knee length stockins', black dress shoes, white laced collar shirts, long black bow ties, and black tamara-sham hats.

We are now seeing a gorgeous lady, in her early thirties, about 5'8", weight about 9 stones; {126 lbs.}, dressed in a mini-skirt length, long-sleeved, black sequences dress, black opaqué stockins', black spiked heel shoes, and a black bobbed hair cut.

She is now doing a swaying and sauntering style of a tap dance as she is slowly going to each gentlemen guest and is sitting on their laps and is slightly stroking their chins as she is singing:

"I LIKE YOU A LITTLE BIT:" {START}:

"I like you a little bit, a little bit too much. Won't you be my sweet Pa-Pa, we can make a lulala. Won't you join my love parade, don't be afraid to touch. Zee moon above, she is a lit, let's make love and never quit, cause I like you a little bit, a little bit too much."

{Here we are seeing her hugging Shemp hard on his neck as Shemp now has a really contented look on his face and is moaning in delight as he is now giving her a huge hug back as Harry is now grinning from ear to ear and is laughing at Shemp}:

"Why, I like you a little bit, a little bit too much. Won't you be my sweet Pa-Pa, we can make dat oooohlala. Won't you join my love parade, don't be afraid to touch. Zee moon above, she is lit let's make love and never quit. Cause I like you a little bit, a little bit too much."

{Here she is sitting on Harry's lap as she is hugging him and stroking him on his cheek. Harry now has a really dreamy look on his face, as he is now making goo-goo eyes at her. He is now giving her a really sweet cooie love look and a kiss. Harry has now pinched the candle flame on their table and has licked his fingers. He now has "steam" coming out of the top of head in love as she is still deeply hugging, kissing, and stroking his cheeks all the while she is singing to him. Shemp is now dipping his fingers in his water glass and is sprinkling them on Harry as Shemp is now trying to cool down the love stricken Harry as Shemp is now putting his hand on Harry's forehead to cheque his temperature to see if Harry has now cooled down a tad}:

"I LIKE YOU A LITTLE BIT:" {ENDING}:

Here we are hearing the audience giving her a standing ovation loudly at her singing as both Harry and Shemp are grinning from ear to ear in delight,

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now laughing slightly and is patting Shemp gently on his right hand with a really dazed look on his face as Harry is stating to Shemp in a really serious voice}: "Henha-henha-henha-henha, say, do you know that this is suppose to be the toughest dive in Paris? I understand you can get a quart of wine, a seven course dinner, and a girl to dance with for only four Francs." {Here Harry is now raising four fingers to support himself}:

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp now has a sarcastic look on his face as he is stating to Harry in a really sarcastic voice}: "The wine can't be so good!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry now has a really devious look on his face as he is now asking Shemp in a tone of voice like he is now having second thoughts about what he was to state}: "Ooooha, by the way, did you receive our allowance from 'The Pater' this week?"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now looking at Harry with a really mischievous look as he is stating back to Harry in a low and mischievous voice}: "Yes, and Mater sent her love!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry now has a really mischievous look on his face and is stating back to Shemp in a low and wicked voice}: "Aaaah-aaaah-aaaah-aaaah-aaaah-aaaah-aaaah-aaaah, and I hop you sent the customary letter? What number are we up to?"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp has a devious look on his face as he is stating to Harry in a low and seirous voice}: "Four, but we won't have to worry from now on. Our social life has been so active, that I thought, I'd save some time and mail out the whole batch of letters at once!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now looking at Shemp with a really joyful look on his face as he is saying to Shemp in a really agreeable voice}: "An excellent idea!" {Here Harry is patting Shemp on his right arm in agreement}:

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is looking at Harry with a gleeful look and is stating to Harry in a really gleeful voice}: "And to show our appreciation, I sent 'The Pater' a few snappy post-cards."

We are now seeing a Waiter dressed in a black duck-tailed tuxedo now walking over to Shemp as he is now bowing at Shemp and is handing Shemp a menu.

WAITER to SHEMP and HARRY: {As the Waiter is now wiping his brow and is looking at them with a really serious look and is saying to them in a really polite voice}: "Bonsieur, Monsieurs, like something to eat, no?"

HARRY to the WAITER: {As Harry is sitting there with a really disgusted look on his face as Harry is stating to the Waiter in a disgusted voice}: "Henha, we'll make up your mind!"

We are now seeing the Waiter handing Shemp a menu in a really polite and professional manner.

SHEMP to the WAITER: {As Shemp is now thinking that he is ordering from the menu is saying to the Waiter as he is pointing at different items on the page}: "I'll have a boiled shirt, a scallopped bisk, and a dozen little lick collars!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now taking the menu from Shemp and is saying to Shemp in a really polite state}: "Pardon me, pardon, why you've been reading from the laundry slip!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp now has a really embarrassed look on his face as he is saying to the Waiter in a really embarrassed voice}: "Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh, in that case, I should have a bottle of champagne; {Vintage of 1870}; a plate of beans, a demitasse, and a couple of tomatoes!"

WAITER to SHEMP: {As the Waiter is now slightly bowing at Shemp in a state of politeness as he is saying to Shemp in a really polite voice}: "Sire?"

SHEMP to the WAITER: {As Shemp is now in a really mischievous tate as he is now pointing his finger over at Table Six; the two ladies that are dressed in the black satin dress, and the other Lady who is dressed in the short-sleeved velvet dress, with lace trim}: "No, those two over there!"

WAITER to HARRY: {As the Waiter is still in his polite state is now asking Harry what he would like to eat}: "Eh, vous, Monsieur?"

HARRY to the WAITER: {As Harry is now looking at the Waiter with a really mischievous look and is saying to the Waiter in a mischievous voice}: "Eha, ha, the same for me, on toast!"

WAITER to SHEMP and HARRY: {As the Waiter is now bowing politely at them as he is using a polite tone of a voice as the Waiter is now exiting}: "Fabiér!"

HARRY to the WAITER: {As Harry has now given the Waiter an evil look and is saying to him in an evil voice}: "Henha-henha, yes, right?!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now looking at Harry with a mad look as he is saying to Harry in a low and mad voice}: "Do you understand, those guys?"

We are now seeing the Waiter approaching the two Lovely Ladies at Table Six in a mischievous state.

WAITER to the TWO LOVELY LADIES: {As he is now bowing low to them with a devious look on his face as he is saying to them in a low and mischievous voice}: "Those two over there are requesting Lady Friends." {Here we are seeing the Waiter pointing over to Shemp and Harry}:

We are now seeing the Two Ladies looking at one another with really wicked looks as they are now evily agreeing to be their Lady Friends as they are now putting out their cigarettes and are straightening up and are now walking over to Shemp and Harry.

LADY WITH THE WHITE LACE to SHEMP and HARRY: {As she and her friend are now approaching them in a devious state as she now has a smile on her face as she is saying to them in a really polite French Accent voice}: "Oh, oh, zee waiter he say you two boys are lonesome, hunha?"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As he and Harry are now standing up and greeting the Ladies as Shemp is now looking at Harry with a worried look and is saying to him in a worried voice}: "Now I know why the Germans wanted to go to Paris!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry has a scared look on his face as he is stating to Shemp in a really scared voice}: "Ehay?"

BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY to HARRY and SHEMP: {As she is now looking at them with a really serious look and is asking them in a polite voice}: "Before we can sit down with you we must know one thing!"

HARRY to the BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY: {As Harry is now looking at her with a worried look and is asking her in a worried voice}: "What is that?"

BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY to SHEMP and HARRY: {As she is looking at them politely and is asking them in a polite and questionable voice}: "Are you two boys, married?"

HARRY to the TWO LADIES: {As he and Shemp are now standing there with really sheepish and slightly feminine looks as Harry is saying to them in a lady-like embarrassed voice}: "Hunha, no, we're just very good friends!"

SHEMP to the LADY WITH THE WHITE LACE: {As Shemp now has a really happy look on his face as he is saying to her as he is pointing a finger at his chair}: "Put it here, honey!"

HARRY to the BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY: {As Harry is now politely pulling out a chair fro her next to the Other Lady and he is saying to her in a polite voice}: "Put!"

We are now seeing Harry sitting down in the chair accross from Shemp.

BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY to SHEMP and HARRY: {As she is now in the procss of making small talk with them as she is asking them in a really polite voice}: "You are artists, no?"

HARRY to the BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY: {As Harry is now looking at her with a mean look as he is asking her in a mean and questionable voice}: "Eha, are you asking me, or telling me?"

SHEMP to the TWO LADIES: {As Shemp is looking at them with a mischievous look as he is stating to them in a really mischievous voice}: "Oh, we dabble a bit!"

WHITE LACE LADY to HARRY: {As she now has a really happy look on her face as she is asking Harry in her heavy French Accent questionable voice}: "Eh, do you itch?"

HARRY to the WHITE LACE LADY: {As he now has a really mad look on his face as he is stating to her in a really mad voice}: "Don't get personal!"

BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY to HARRY: {As she is looking at Harry with a really serious look as she is stating to Harry in a really bragging voice}: "My Uncle, he's the most famous sculpturer in Parée!"

HARRY to the BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY: {As Harry is sitting there with his left hand on his waist and a really sheepish look on his face as he is stating to her in a really mischievous voice}: "Hunha, that's nothing, my Uncle is the biggest chisler in America!"

WHITE LACE LADY to HARRY: {As she is now looking at him with a really sweet look on her face as she is saying to him in a really sweet voice}: "My sweetheart is what you call zee Archutech!"

SHEMP to the WHITE LACE LADY: {As we are now seeing her giving Shemp a really mean look as Shemp is looking at her with a really mischievous look and is stating to her in a really mischievous voice}: "He's a little absent minded, isn't he?"

WHITE LACE LADY to SHEMP: {As she is now yelling at him in a really evil voice and with an evil look on her face}: "What makes you say dat?"

SHEMP to the WHITE LACE LADY: {As Shemp is now looking at her with a really embarrassed look and is stating to her in a mischievous voice}: "He left some of his bleu-prints on your neck!"

We are now getting a far shot of the entire Café as we are now getting some French Entertainment.


"A FRENCH TAP DANCE ROUNTINE:" {START}: {TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY}:

We start of this dance routine where we are hearing a Lady screaming at the top of her lungs like a wild banshee as she is now tap running to the centre of the Café scared witless. {She is dressed in a black full-length chiffon dress with a huge white rose pattern down the front of the dress. Her left arm is bare while there is a dress sleeve on her right arm as she has on flesh coloured stockins' and black tap shoes}:

She is now coming to a screeching hault as she has now snapped her head back and is looking over her left shoulder as she has both hands on her waist.

We are now seeing a gentleman coming in as he at first takes a little leap and then comes marching in at a fast pace with his hands on his waist.

He has now wickedly slapped her on the face as she is now giving him a mean and ugly look.

She has now slapped him on his face in madness.

Now we are seeing him in a really mad state taking her by her left hand and is twirlling her and then throwing her very hard as she is now falling to the floor. He has now tapped run over to her and has now kicked her wickedly.

She has now stood up and has raised her arms in the aire as she is now tap running over to him and is now leaping into his arms.

We are now seeing her hanging from his neck by her legs as he head is now pointing to the floore as he is now twirlling the two of them around in circles six times. {Here we are seeing Shemp and Harry watching with scared looks on their faces as the Two Ladies are smiling joyfully}:

He is now up-righting her as he sets her down for a brief moment on the floor as he is now once again picking her up and is raising her over his head as she has her hands on his shoulders and her legs extended in the aire.

He now once again takes one step forwards as he is again throwing her to the floor as she is now completing a full somersault, and then is leaping flat on the floor on her chest.

{Here we are now getting another shot on Shemp and Harry and the girls. As the girls are still smiling gleefully at the dance rountine as Shemp and Harry are quivering and have scared looks on their faces}:

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp has a look on his face like he thinks the entire routine is stupid and is stating to Harry in a really dumbfounded voice}: "How primative!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is looking at Shemp with his eye-brows raised and a really stupid look on his face as he stating to Shemp in agreement}: "Quite fundamental!"

We are now back on the dance routine where we are seeing her standing up side-ways with her arms raised in the aire and with a really wicked look on her face as she is now doing a two-step shuffle tap dance over to him as she has now slapped him hard on his face once again.

We are now seeing her grabbing his left hand as she has her right hand raised in the aire and is twirlling around in circles as he is now leaning to his right side as he is now meanly dragging her across the floor. We are now seeing the two of them standing there looking at one another meanly as they are tap dancing in place.

He is now grabbing her by her waist as he is now also chocking her in meaness as she is now slapping him on his face and is also chocking him.

Now they are still embrassed in one anothers arms as they now have really happy looks on their faces as they are now caressing each other in a state of love as they give each other a kiss.

Now she has shoved him away and is now throwing him hard to the floor.

{Here we are getting a close-up on one of the gentlemen guests with a plaid tamra-sham on as he is watching with a serious look on his face. We also got a quick glimpse of a Lady guest as she is watching with a really scared look, as her eyes are now bugging out of her head and her mouth is agait}:

We are now back on the two dancers as they are now looking at one another with really evil looks as they are twirlling one another around meanly. They are now meanly flipping one another from side to side. As he has now slammed her to the floor on her face as he is now meanly grabbing her and throwing her as she is now tapping in circles around him fear.

We are now seeing him with a dagger in his right hand as he is chasing her and is trying to catch her. He has now caught-up with her and has brutally grabbed her and has now stabbed her with the dagger as she is screaming loudly in pain. She is now slowly shuffling away and completing a full ballet pieroet as she is now dieing and falling to the floor.

We are now seeing him doing a side-ways tap shuffle in glee before he is now running away in a state of fear.

{Here we are now getting a shot of Shemp as he is now flirting with The White Lace Lady}:

SHEMP to the WHITE LACE LADY: {As Shemp is looking at her with a flirtatious look on his face as he is asking her in a lovey-dovey voice}: "I'd like to come up and see you some time when you're in the nude, I mean the mood, how about Saturday?"

WHITE LACE LADY to SHEMP: {As she is now waving her head from side to side negatively with a really sad look on her face as she is stating to Shmep in a really sad voice}: "Oh, no, I cannot, I'm getting married on Saturday, but Sunday is all right!" {Here we are seeing Shemp with a really hurtful and scared look on his face}:

We are now back on the two dancers as we are now seeing her laying stone cold dead as he is now kneeling over her and is stroking her hair.

We are now concluding this tap dance routine where we are seeing him picking up her corpse and is holding onto ti as he is now twirlling her dead body around in circles in a state of glee several dozen times. Now he has one last time thrown her hard to the floor to make sure she is really dead.

The final conclusion of the dance rountine as we are now seeing him holding onto her legs and is dragging her across the floor off of the stage.

"A FRENCH TAP DANCE ROUNTINE:" {ENDING}: {TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY}:

We are now seeing the guests standing up and giving the two dancers a loud standing ovation as the dancers are now exiting back stage. The dancers have now returned and took several bows of appreciation.

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now looking at Harry with a scared look and is stating to Harry in a really mad voice}: "That fellow's no gentleman!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now looking at Shemp with a quizzical look as he is stating to Shemp in a questionable voice}: "Aaaah, what makes you think so?"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now looking at Harry with a really mad look on his face as he is stating to Harry in a really mad voice}: "Least thing he could of done before he started to beat her up, was take off his hat!"

BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY to SHEMP: {As she is now tapping Shemp on his right hand and is looking at him with a serious look as she is stating to Shemp in a serious voice}: "You don't understand, that is the up-posh way of showing his love for her and she loved it!" {Here we are seeing her with a really cooey-dovey look on her face as she is explaining to Shemp the French Culture}:

SHEMP to the BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY: {As Shemp now has a lovey and dreamy eyed look on his face for her as he is stating to her in a really lovey and flirty voice}: "That's all I wanted to know!"


"SHEMP AND THE BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY FRENCH APACHE DANCE:" {START}: {TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY}:

SHEMP to the PIANO PLAYER: {As Shemp is now pointing a finger at him and has a serious look on his face as Shemp is stating to him a really polite tone of a voice}: "If you please, Prosfessor!"

They are starting off by grasping arms together as they are now waltzing together to the centre of the Café.

Shemp now gives her a slight shove as she now does a few twirls and Shemp has now done a skip dance backwards as he now does a few pieroets himself.

{Here we are seeing Harry standing up with a really lovey-dovey look on his face as he is now looking at the White Lace Lady who is also giving him a really lovey-dovey look as Harry is now sitting in the chair next to her as they are giving one another goo-goo eyes and flirty looks}:

We are now back on the two dancers as we are now seeing them shuffle backwards as she has now removed Shemp's tie and is now throwing it to the floor. She now has her hands on he waist as she is now sauntering and swaying up to Shemp who is now doing a sideways style of a two-step dance as he is slowly swaying forwards towards her.

We are now seeing the two dancers as they are now locking arms with one another as they are now fastly spinning one another around in circles as she is doing a neat set of twirls as Shemp is now sloppily running in circles as he is now staggering from side to side doing a messy shuffle style of a dance.

We are now seeing her tossing Shemp as Shemp is now shuffling and staggering backwards and is rocking from side to side as he is saying; "Wait a minute. I lost my woods!"

Now we are seeing Shemp as he is now slowly bent at the waist sauntering up to her as she is now putting her hands on her waist and is gently swaying from side to side up to him as she is now grabbing him by his shirt and is briskly spinning him around several times as he is now falling to the floor as she is now slowly sauntering from side to side and backwards.

Now we are seeing them grabbing hands with one another as they are now throwing one another from side to side.

We are now seeing her slapping Shemp hard on his face as Shemp is now falling down backwards, as he is now doing a hand and foot type shuffle bending at his waist up and down like a giant inch-worm.

{Right here we are getting a close-up on Harry and the White Lace Lady as they are now laughing hysterically at the two dancers}:

We are now back on the dancers as she is grabbing Shemp by his neck as she is now twirlling him around at a rapid pace as he is now kicking his legs from side to side and swaggering at his wais and shaking his head in pain as she is now swaying from side to side.

Now we are seeing Shemp grabbing hold of her as he is swaying from side to side as he is now shaking her and then he is now tossing her to the floor. She is now standing up and is marching over and is grabbing Shemp by his shoulders as he is also grabbing her by her shoulders as they are now brutally shaking one another.

Now we are seeing them grabbing one another and are now wildly fighting with each other. Shemp is now waltzing of ba-lance to and fro as she is now swaggering from side to side with her hands on her waist.

We are now seeing the two dancers as she has a horrible look of fear on her face as Shemp now has a dagger in his hand and is now trying to stab her with it as she is now grabbing his hand and is pushing it downwards as he is now struggling with her to try and bring it back-up. She has now won as she is now finishing pushing the dagger away as she is now flipping Shemp in a complete circle as Shemp is now falling to the floor on his knees as she is now putting her hands on her waist and is slowly two-step shuffling backwards.

We are now seeing her standing there with her hands on her waist and a look of true defeat on her face as Shemp is now standing up totally exhausted and staggering shuffling from side to side as he is now hitting himself on his chest as he is now raising a hand in defeat.

She is now grabbing Shemp by his jacket as she is now wildly throwing him across the floor as she is now in the process of trying to rip Shemp's jacket off of him as he is now falling to the floor.

Shemp is now struggling with her as he is pushing her by her legs as he is still on the floor as she is now stumbling slightly backwards. She is now again holding onto Shemp's jacket as she is now wildly and wickedly spinning him around in circles on the floor.

She now has Shemp by his right hand as she is now walking backwards and is dragging Shemp along with her across the floor around their table and then back to the centre of the floor.

She is now picking-up Shemp and is spinning him around in circles several more times as she is now placing him in a chair as she now has a really loving look on her face as she is now caressing him and is stating to him in a low and lovey-dovey voice: "Oh, my cave man, I love you!"

SHEMP to the BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY: {As Shemp is sitting there totally exhausted to the enth-degree as he is still swaying from side to side slightly as he is saying to her in a really exhausted voice}: "So, that's the French Way of making love!"

"SHEMP AND THE BLACK SATIN DRESS LADY FRENCH APACHE DANCE:" {ENDING}: {TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY}:

The guests are now standing up and giving them a really loud and happy round of a standing ovation.

We are now back at the Burton residence as it is now a beautiful Spring day as we are seeing the sun shining in a Parlour room window as Mater Burton is sitting on a chair in front of the window as she is now in the process of having herself a cigarette. Pater Burton is now walking in and is sitting down on a davenporte across from her as he is lighting up a cigarette for himself. We are now seeing their Maid bringing them their afternoon post.

MAID to MATER BURTON: {As she has a very polite look on her face as she is stating to her in a very polite voice as she is handing Mater Burton their post}: "Here's the mail, Mrs. Burton!"

We are now seeing Mater Burton taking the post from their Maid as she is now flipping through it with a really quizzical look on her face as she is now in the process of seeing all of the weekly thank-you letters there in on gigantic pile.

MATER BURTON to PATER BURTON: {As she now has a dazed look on her face as she is setting the post on a coffee table and is saying to him in a really dazed voice}: "Why, that's strange, why this is dated six months from now!"

PATER BURTON to MATER BURTON: {As he is now getting up off of the davenporte with a really dazed look on his face as he is now walking over to her and is stating to her in a questionable voice in regards to the mass collection of gratuity letters}: "Six months from now?!"

MATER BURTON to PATER BURTON: {As she still has a really quizzical look on her face as she is stating to him in a really stern voice as she has now opened another one of the letters}: "And, this is dated three months from now!"

Mater Burton in a state of utter disgust has now handed to Pater Burton who also has a really disgusted look on his face the three months in advance thank-you letter.

MATER BURTON to PATER BURTON: {As she is still sitting on the chair in utter disgust as she is looking through their post and is handing it to him a general letter}: "And, here is one for you!"

PATER BURTON to MATER BURTON: {As he has a serious look on his face as he is stating to her in a questionable voice}: "For me? There's something wrong!"

Pater Burton is now sitting back on the davenporte with a really evil look on his face as he is now opening his post.

MATER BURTON to PATER BURTON: {As she is now riffling through all of the letters with a mad look on her face as she is stating to him in a really disgusted voice}: "Richard, I think you should cable the boys to come home immediately!"

PATER BURTON to MATER BURTON: {As he is now sitting there with a really mean look on his face as he is stating to her in a kind but yet serious voice}: "No Martha, a cable wouldn't be strong enough!"

Mater Burton is now sitting in her chair reading one of the letters as she is now looking at her husband with a really scared look as her eyes are now bugging out of her head and her mouth is agait.

PATER BURTON to MATER BURTON: {As he is now sitting down on the davenporte with a small smile on his face as he is now slightly enjoying one of the postal cards as he is now turning that smile into a serious look as he is now noticing his wife looking at him as he is now stating to her in a really serious tone of a voice}: "I'll go myself!"

We are now back in Paris at an Arts Exhibition building were are seeing a building with a sign on it that reads as follows:

PARIS ART EXHIBITION
GRAND PRIZE
To Be Awarded Aug. 14th

We are now inside of the building that is decorated along the right side wall with several portrait pictures, plus a cherry wook tall pedestal with a white carving of the Eiffel Tower. On a corridour wall there is a gigantic wall clock that reads 11:25 A.M. plus there is an exit door. And as you keep on going to your left you see another exit door with a landscaping painting of flowers and trees above it. Plus there is a third door with three people standing in front of it. Plus as you are still going in the left ways circle we are now seeing a large wooden horsey statue with Napoleon riding on it. Plus just above the horsey is a dual lit bunch of candles plus an oil painting of Napoleon. There ther are a bunch of plants and a trash bin. Plus also on your right is a booth where you can purchase tickets to see the art exhibition. Plus dow n the middle of the building is a long rowof seating benches.

We are now seeing Shemp dressed in a tuxedo and top hat with the ladies he met at the Café, White Lace Lady on his right arm and the Black Satin Dress Lady on his left arm, as theye are walking down the right side of the building.

Shemp and his Lady Friends are now being greeted by the very spastic Famous French Painter, Renée La Blanquette as Shemp is now politely tipping his hat at him.

MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE to SHEMP: {As he is now running up to Shemp and is slightly bowing to him as he is now totally spasticing out as he is shouting to Shemp in a mad and heavy French Accent}: "Ta-ta; tata-tata-tata-tata-tata-tata-tata-tata-tata-tata, Monsieur Burton, henha-henha, hee-hee-hee-hee; cahaa-cahaa-cahaa; Madame, Monsieur. Well, Monsieur Burton, zee painting all right?"

SHEMP to MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE: {As Shemp has now flinched a tad and is saying to him in a serious voice as Shemp has now made a quick thought}: "No, my brother is just putting the finishing touches to it. He'll be here any minute!"

We are now getting a close-up on Monsieur Renée La Blanquette who is also dressed in a tuxedo and a top hat and a moustache and goatee beard as he is standing there with a bug-eyed look on his face in a state of scaredness.

MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE to SHEMP: {Oooop; Jack}: {As he is looking at Shemp-'Jack' with a really scared look and is saying to him in a totally panicking voice}: "Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh; bruta-bruta-bruta-bruta; putta-ta-ta; putta-ta-ta; putta-ta-ta; putta-ta-ta; I cannot wait any longer Monsieur. I'll the them immediately Monsieur!"

We are now seeing Monsieur Renée La Blanquette storming down the corridour-way engulfed in a gigantic tempertantrum as he is now waving his hands in the aire and is yelling madly mumblings in French as we are now watching Shemp and the two Ladies watching him with dazed looks on their faces as he is now madly storming down the corridour-way as he stomping his feet madly and is shouting in madness; "Heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba; deeba-deeba-deeba-deeba-deeba-deeba-deeba-deeba; zeeba-zeeba-zeeba-zeeba-zeeba-zeeba-zeeba-zeeba; freeba-freeba-freeba-freeba-freeba-freeba-freeba-freeba; jeeba-jeeba-jeeba-jeeba-jeeba-jeeba-jeeba-jeeba!"

SHEMP to the TWO LADIES: {As Shemp now has a mad look on his face as he is now putting back on his top hat and is saying to them in a mad voice}: "I'll set a trap for that guy! What's he trying to do, get me mixed-up here? I'm in an awful dilema, no, no, it's a quandary. That's it, I'm in a quandary. On second thought, it's a dilema. We've been here six months doing nothing and if he doesn't get that picture here on time, Pater will cut off our allowance. I wonder what's keeping the guy, what's keeping him!" {Here we are seeing the two Ladies looking at Shem with really worried and carrying looks as Shemp is now stomping his feet in a state of madness}:

We are now back in their same studio that they were assigned to six months previous as we are now seeing Harry dressed in his painters smock, and cap as he is now busy at work painting his picture.

We are now getting a glimpse of Harry's studio where we are seeing Harry's models: THREE GIGANTIC LADIES {weighing 21 Stones; 300lbs each}. They are standing on a pedestal dressed in gigantic one piece white swimming suits with short shirts and small bow ties and black high heeled shoes. Two of the Fat Slob Ladies are looking to their left as one is looking at her right. The one looking to her right has her hands raised over her head and a small sailours cap on her head. The one in the centre is suppose to be playing a fiddle while the one to the far left is suppose to be playing a fife.

HARRY to the THREE FAT LADIES: {As Harry is now busy at work and has a serious look on his face as he is stating to them in a really carrying voice as he is now pointing his brus at them}: "Now, just hold it a few more minutes girls, and we'll be all through. Henha, that's, that! Hemhem, now girls you can put on your clothes and go home!"

We are now seeing the Three Fat Slob Ladies coming at eas as the first on is now putting his arms down and the other two are placing their instruments down on the pedestal.

MIDDLE FAT LADY to HARRY: {As she and her two gigantic friends are now walking up to him in a state of couriosity at what the painting looks like as she is asking him in a questionable voice}: "Can we take a look at it?"

HARRY to the THREE GIGANTIC FAT LADIES: {As Harry now has a look of pride on his face and is stating in a proudful voice}: "Why, certainly!"

We are now seeing the THREE GIGANTIC FAT LADIES walking over to tak a look at the painting.

MIDDLE FAT GIGANTIC LADY to the OTHER TWO GIGANTIC FAT LADIES: {As all three of them have really disgusted looks on their faces as she is stating to them in a really mad voice}: What do you think of that? Can you imagine?"

ALL THREE GIGANTIC FAT LADIES: {As they ae now ramdomly in unison are commenting on the paiting}: "Just look at that. Can you imagine that. Can you imagine that. What the nerve he's got. My goodness. That is totally disgusting."

{We are now seeing Harry's interpretation of the Three Gigantic Fat Ladies as he has now painted a picture of "Les Petite Porcs du Trois"; {"The Three Little Pigs"}:

We are now back out in main corridour-way of the Art Exhibition Studio where we are seeing the Two Ladies sitting on the benches as Shemp is now pacing to and fro like a caged lion in fear and panic wondering where in the world Harry is with their painting.

SHEMP to the TWO LADIES: {As Shemp has now noticed Harry as he is pointing a finger at Harry with a dazed look on his face as Shemp is stating to them in a serious voice}: "Here he is now!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp now has a really happy look on his face as he is asking Harry in a really worried and happy voice}: "How did it turn out?"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry now has a really gleeful look on his face as he is stating to Shemp and the Two Ladies as he is now showing them his picture}: "Aaaaha, oh boy, it's a masterpiece!"

The Two Ladies are now shouting in glee and have huge smiles on their faces as they are now admiring Harry's painting.

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp now has a gleeful look on his face as he stating to Harry in a really happy voice}: "The Three Little Pigs"; {"Les Petite Porcs du Trois"}. "Gee that's great!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now grinning from ear to ear with pride as he is saying to Shemp in a really happy and proud voice}: "Henah-henha-henha-henha. Look out, don't touch, it, it's still whet!"

WHITE LACE LADY to SHEMP: {As she is now tapping Shemp on his shoulder as she is now stating to Shemp in a really polite voice}: "Ooooh-ooooh; Monsieur, I-I-I!"

SHEMP to the WHITE LACE LADY: {As Shemp is now pointing a finger down the corridour-way as he is saying to her in a really agreeable voice as Shemp is smiling joyfully}: "Yeah, I know, it's over there, and we'll be here when you get back!" {Here we are now seeing the Two Ladies going to the "Power Room"}:

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry now has a happy look on his face as he is now pointing a finger at his painting and is asking Shemp in a questionable voice}: "Aaaaha, say, where will we hang it?"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now looking at Harry with a really carrying look and is using a carrying voice}: "Now, don't worry, there's a spot right here!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now in a total state of panic as he is stating to Shemp in a trembling voice}: "Ooooooooh-ooooooooh-ooooooooh; okay!"

We are now seeing Shemp and Harry approaching a blank spot on a wall as Harry is now setting down their painting on a bench as Shemp is now tapping the wall to find a beam to drive a nail in.

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now still tapping the wall with a serious look on his face as he is stating to Harry in a serious voice}: "Wait'll I get a beam here!"

As Shemp and Harry are now busy at work finding a beam to drive the nail through we are now seeing "ANOTHER FAT LADY"; {MARJORIE MAIN}; dressed in a full lenght black taffata dress with elbow length white gloves, a black floppy hat, black clutch style of a pocketbook and a chain around her neck with a pair of spectacles on it as she is now looking where she is going park her fat butt as she is now sitting on Harry's 'Les Petite Porcs du Trois! as the piggies are now oinking in pain.

We are now seeing Shemp and Harry standing there with their eyes bugging out of their heads as they are now noticing the Fat Lady sitting on their painting as Harry and Shemp are now hearing their painting 'Grunting and Oinking' in pain.

We are now seeing the Fat Lady standing up as we are now noticing that she has taken their picture of 'Les Petite Porcs du Trois' and has now turned it into a picture of a 'Ham Hock Roast'!

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp has a dazed look on his face and is asking Harry in a scared and questionable voice}: "What happened to it?"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry now has a dazed look as he is starring bug-eyed at the picture as he is stating to Shemp in a dazed manner}: "It looks like a ham!"

We are now seeing both Shemp and Harry with really dazed looks on their faces as they are now slowly walking up to their painting as they are now discovering that their painting of 'Les Petite Porcs du Trois' has now become a 'Ham Hock Roast'!

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now in a total state of panic as he is now grabbing their painting and is stating to Shemp in a really panicking voice}: "Hey, we gotta work fast, here comes the judge now!"

We are now seeing the truely panicking to the enth-degree Harry and Shemp hanging their "Ham Hock Roast" at a rapid pace.

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp has now tapped Harry on his shoulder in a state of mischief as he is using a mischievous voice}: "I've got an idea!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now pointing a finger as Shemp's notepad with a really happy look as he is stating to Shemp gleefully}: "Where am I going to get the paint?"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now mischievously pointing to the toe of his right shoe as he is saying}: "Right here!"

We are now in the process of seeing Harry spitting on the tip of a small painting brush as he is now dipping off some paint from Shemp's shoe. Harry has now dabbed off a tad of paint as he is now hitting Shemp in the eye with it.

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp now has a mad look on his face as he is stating to Harry in a mad voice as Shemp is now rubbing the paint from his eye}: "Now, wait a minute, now!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As we are seeing Shemp holding the name card as Harry is asking Shemp in a low and serious voice}: "Hold it, hold it!"

It is now 'Graduation Day' at the "5 RUE DEVALLE" School of Art as we are now seeing eight judges coming in and taking a look at the different final works of art.

There are five male judges all dressed in tuxedos and top hats. There are three lady judges; one of the judges is the Fat Lady that sat on Harry and Shemp's painting. The other two ladies; one is dressed in a full-length white, long-sleeved sequence dress, white gloves, and a white sequence hat. The last lady judge is dressed in a black, full-length, lace and silk dress, several white pearl chains of different lengths, and a black and white hat. The leader judge is that 'Crazy' MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE.

We are now seeing the Four Final Entries:

1: "GETTING OFF HIS HIGH HORSE:" {This is a characture painting of a dilapidated really long legged horse that is bent almost in two as the jockey in now using a tall ladder to dis-mount the horse}:

2: "A FINE KETTLE OF FISH:" {This is a picture of a teapot that has fillagree trim on it as we are now seeing three very wicked and haunted, really bugged-eyed fish crawlling out of it}:

3: "UNDERNEATH THE HARLEM MOON:" {This picture in nothing but a totally black painted canvas with a relly tiny white crescent moon at the upper right corner}:

4: "HAM D'AMOUR:" {This is Shemp and Harry's entry of 'The Ham Hock Roast'}:

All the while that the judges were looking at the final different entries they were muttering amongst themselves; "Aha, wonderful, magnificent, superb, beautiful, outstanding!"

We are now seeing that spastic judge 'Monsieur Renée La Blanquette in full blown delight as he is now raising his arms in the aire and has a gleeful look on his face and is using a really happy voice.

MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE to SHEMP and HARRY: {As he is thinking that they are the Burton Brothers as the judge is truely impressed with their painting and is using a really joyful voice}: "Aaaah-aaaah-aaaah-aaaah, magnifique, mawha-mawha-mawha; {Here Monsieur La Blanquette is now throwing a kiss in delight at their painting}:

We are now hearing the other judges muttering happily, 'Oh yes, magnifique, wonderful!'

Now we are seeing Monsieur Renée La Blanquette putting on his spectacles as he is now getting closer to their painting and is giving it a really thorough examination.

MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE to THE FAT LADY JUDGE; {The one that squished Harry and Shemp's painting}: {As he now has a really happy look on his face as he is stating to her in total delight}: "Is that wonderful? What passion, why, such centiment, why it's beautiful. Thank-you gentlemen it is truely magnifique!"

We are now seeing Monsieur Renée La Blanquette loosing it in a state of total joy and glee as he is now wildly kissing Shemp on his face in delight.

SHEMP to MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE: {As Shemp now has a really scared look on his face and is shouting to him in a really disgusted voice as Shemp is now shoving him away in madness}: "Wait a minute, wait a minute, is there any teeth in that thing?"

MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE to the OTHER JUDGES and SHEMP and HARRY: {As he is saying to them in total pride}: "Gentlemen, I have the great honour to present to you, two Great American Artists Mr. Joe and Jack Burton. The first prize of the exhibition, Gentlemen. I will give you five thousand Francs, yes, aaaah, my compliments!"

MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE to HARRY: {As Harry is now standing there grinning from ear to ear in total pride}: "And, you, Monsieur, I will give you, de 'Commemorative Artiste Medal of Honour', of the occassion today. Thank-you very much!"

HARRY to MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE: {As Harry has a really contented look on his face as he is saying to him in a really proud and contented voice}: "Aaaah, satis, thank-you, Monsieur!"

We are now once againg seein Monsieur La Blanquette loosing it in total happiness as he is now once again splattering Shemp with kisses as Shemp has a really embarrassed look on his face.

SHEMP to MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE: {As Shemp is now throughly disgusted with him and is stomping his feet in madness as Shemp is now shoving him away again}: "Get outta here, get outta here!"

SHEMP to HARRY: {As Shemp is now really mad and disgusted with Monsieur La Blanquette as Shemp is saying to Harry in a really disgusted and scared voice}: "Is there any lipstick on me?"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is looking at Shemp in a really scared stating as he is saying to Shemp}: "No, you are all right!"


"ART TROUBLE": {ENDING}:

All the while that the Judge was presenting the 'Medals of Honour' to the 'Fake' Joe and Jack Burton we saw a stately looking gentleman dressed in a tuxedo and top hat admiring a really beautiful oil painting on 'Our Saviour and the Mother Mary'. He was paying never-no-mind to the rewards ceremony until he heard the names Jack and Joe Burton; {This gentleman turned out to be 'Pater, Richard Burton}; as he is now storming over to Monsieur La Blanquette in utter disgust.

PATER BURTON to MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE: {As Pater Burton is now running up to Monsieur La Blanquette in utter disgust as he is now grabbing him by his right arm and is shouting wickedly}: "Wait a minute, wait a minute. Jack and Joe Burton are my sons. These men are imposters!"

MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE to PATER BURTON: {As he now has a really scared look on his face and is using a low and stammering voice}: "Wha-wha-wha-what you mean, these men are, are, imposters!"

MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE to RICHARD BURTON: {As he is looking at Pater Burton in horrible disgust and is saking Pater Burton madly as he is now using his stammering voice once again}: "You mean to say, that zee men are, are, are, imposters?"

MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE to SHEMP and HARRY: {As he is so thoroughly disgusted with them as he is now shouting to them in a really mad voice}: "You are imposters? You are, humph. Go home, go home, get outta here, go home!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As he and Shemp both have bugged-eyed looks on their faces as Harry is shouting to Shemp in a really scared voice}: "Let's get out of here!"

We are now seeing Shemp and Harry running like bats outta Hell for their lives outta there.

MONSIEUR RENÉE LA BLANQUETTE to PATER; {RICHARD} BURTON: {As Monsieur La Blanquette is now shaking him in fear and is asking Pater Burton in a panicking tone of a voice}: "Zey, have my five-thousand Francs, what am I gonna do? Jardarmes, Jardarmes!"

We are now seeing Harry and Shemp trying to make a break for it as they have now picked the first door as they are now in the process of trying to get snagged by a Jardarmes, but for a moment they have made their escape.

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is now in a total state of panic as he shouting to Shemp really scared at the wrong exit door}: "Henha, help, the Police!"

We are now seeing Monsieur La Blanquette screaming at them madly as they are now trying doors two and three only to discover a Jardarmes behind each one.

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is so totally scared he does not know what to do as he is shouting to Shemp in panicking voice}: "No, no, not there!"

HARRY to SHEMP: {As Harry is yelling at Shemp in total delight at his find}: "The window, come on!"

We are now seeing Shemp and Harry running for 'WHAT THEY THINK IS A WINDOW' to make their final jump for freedom are now running a full tilt only to find it "SHUT" as they are now smashing into it as they are now crashing to the ground.

"ART TROUBLE:" {CONCLUSION}:

We are now finding out that "THEIR WINDOW" they were trying to get out of was a really well done and very realistic oil painting. The border of the window was a lovely Maple wood window well as we are seeing a realistic looking picture of Paris on a Summers day, that looks like a window blind.

The Louvré Museum. A big centres clock. Green ground covering of grass and small bushes. A couple of smaller annex buildings. Lovely daisy flowers. Full sun in shine in a totally cloudless pale bleu skyeline.

NAME OF THE PICTURE: "THROUGH THE WINDOW PANE:"

We are now seeing Shemp and Harry sitting there on the floor giving one another evil and dazed looks as they are waving their heads from side to side as they are now noticing their 'Opened Window' is a beautiful oil painting.


Videography   (1)

Fan Reviews   (1)
Re: ART TROUBLE
Posted 2001-05-08 14:15:00 by BeAStooge
Shemp does a French apache dance! Shemp slaps Jimmy Stewart! Funny!

Reviewer's Rating: (8)

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