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MUSHROOMS

Horace Glutz is an expert on mushrooms and toadstools, drinks too much, and hen-pecked with in-laws from hell. A simple dinner party with the family, and Bertram's uninvited pool hall buddies, turns sour when the main dish of mushrooms turns out to have been toadstools... or was it?

Shemp has a small role, but is hilarious as Bertram's obnoxious pool hall buddy.


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MUSHROOMS on IMDb

Featuring
Shemp Howard (Solo)
Release Date
February 14, 1934
Studio
Vitaphone
Production Type
Short Subject
Duration
20.4 min.
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Production Notes   (2)
Prod. No.:   1633-1634
Shooting Days:   4 days   From: 1933-10-19   To: 1933-10-23

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Transcript   (Y)

Transcription by Moron4392:  

"MUSHROOMS:" {SAMUEL HORWITZ}: {SOLO SHORT SUBJECT}: {VITAPHONE PRODUCTIONS}: RELEASED ON: FEBRUARY 14, 1934:


We start growing "MUSHROOMS" at a Dinner Business Meeting in a very eleganté hotel meeting room that is decorated in dark walnut wood, with four oil paintings of landscapings. Plus on the walls there are four cut crystal lighting fixtures with three lights per fixture. Plus we are seeing and eleganté gold and red velvet banner with gold and red tassels and white enlayed words that reads as follows:

PURE FOOD
EXPERTS
ASSOCIATION
OF
AMERICA

We are now hearing the "PRESIDENT OF PURE FOOD ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA"; {RUSSELL HICKS}; giving a speech to his fellow colleagues:

"Food experts, fellow members, dieticians, and gentlemen. We're gathered here tonight for two reasons. First, to honour our distinguished guests, and secondly, to prove to ourselves, that no matter how much 'Pure Food' one eats, it never leaves you with that sluggish, drowsy, listless feeling. Am I right gentlemen?" {Here we are getting a shot on the colleague who are sitting at an eleganté dining table with a white linen table covering, white linen napkins, sterling silver cutlery and candlesticks with lit candles in them, and Dutch Delft Chinaware. The guests are dressed in tuxedos and are sitting there totally drunk, asleep, passed out or any combination of the three}:

We are now seeing 'The President Of Pure Food Association Of America'; popping a cork on a champagne bottle sending the cork and champagne flying into the aire as we are now seeing the drunken bunch of colleagues quickly coming too as they are now grabbing their champagne glasses and are jumping up as fast as they can and are now catching as much of the champagne as they can.

Here we are now seeing 'The President Of Pure Food Association Of America' taking his handkerchief from his left front tuxedo jacket pocket and is now wiping off some of the champagne off his jacket, as the other colleagues are now slightly awake as they are now enjoying the champagne that they had caught.

PRESIDENT OF PURE FOOD ASSOCIATION to the OTHER COLLEAGUES: {As he is now putting his handkerchief back into his left upper jacket pocket and has a serious look on his face as he is stating in a serious voice}: "We have with us tonight, as our honoured guest, one of the greatest 'Pure Food Experts', the world has ever known, "PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ"; {HARRY GRIBBON}:

We are now getting a shot of Professour Horace Glutz as he is sitting there with a pie-eyed look on his face, and is swaying from side to side, slightly sloshed as another colleague who is sitting by his left side is in the same manner is looking at him with a dazed look: {Here we are now hearing the other colleagues giving Professour Horace Glutz a huge round of applause, as Professour Glutz is now supporting a scared look as his mouth is againt and his eyes are bugging out out of his head}:

PRESIDENT OF PURE FOOD ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA to the OTHER COLLEAGUES: {As he is still using a serious voice and in continuing his introduction about Professour Horace Glutz}: "This man has made the world safe for mushroom lovers!"

Here we are now getting another shot of Professour Horace Glutz as he is trying his ever loving best to stand-up and take a bow as he now falls back into his chair with a really dazed and pie-eyed look and a wiry smile on his face.

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to the COLLEAGUE AT HIS LEFT SIDE: {As the very tipsy Professour Horace Glutz is now in the process of taking a lit candlestick and is dipping it into some veggie dip as the colleague at his left is looking at him with a worried look on his face as Professour Glutz is stating to him in a very slurred voice}: "I like asparagus!, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" {Here we are seeing the very crocked Professour Horace Glutz biting off the lit end of the candlestick and is eating it thinking that it is an asparagus stick}:

Poor plastered Professour Horace Glutz is now realising that he is now happily chowing down on a candlestick as he is now turning to his right side and is spitting it out onto the floor.

COLLEAGUE AT PROFESSOUR GLUTZ'S LEFT SIDE to PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ: {As the colleague is now tapping him on his left arm and is stating to him in a very slurred voice as he is now handing to Professour Glutz an unlit candlestick as he is thinking that it is an asparagus stick and is saying to him in a serious voice}: "Try this one, it's riper!"

We are now seeing Professour Horace Glutz with a really happy look on his face as he is now taking from the colleague at his left his "Asparagus Stick!"

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to the COLLEAGUE AT HIS LEFT: {As the two of them are still not in the sober world as Professour Glutz is stating to the colleague at his left in a very polite and skunked voice as he is now dipping the other "ASPARAGUS STICK!; {Oooops, CANDLESTICK}; into the veggie dip and is now taking a huge bite of it}: "Thank-you, ever-so-much!"

PRESIDENT OF PURE FOOD ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA to PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ: {As he is now looking at him with a really cnoncerned look and is whispering to him in a serious voice}: "Professour, Professour, they're wating for you!"

PLASTERED PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to the PRESIDENT OF PURE FOOD ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA: {As he is now handing to him his "Asparagus" ---- {candlestick} as he is slightly staggering as he is now trying to go forwards and give his speech}: "Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh; excuse me, henha-henha-henha-henha-henha-henha; good stuff!"

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to the OTHER COLLEAGUES: {As he is now standing up to the best of his crocked ability at his place at the table and has a wiry look on his face as he is shouting to them in a really bombed out voice as he is slightly slurring his words}: "Gentlemen, and fellow expert fooders. No doubt it is hard for you to distinguish the difference between the toadstool and the mushroom. But, due to many years, research work in the mushroom field, I find it very simple. For an example, in this hand; {RIGHT}; I have the commone toadstool; peef-peef-peef-peef; poofie-poofie-poofie-poofie." {Here he has a mad look on his face as he is tossing {'What he thinks is the toadstool'}; away over his right shoulder onto the floor}: "But, in this hand; {LEFT}; I have a 'luscious mushroom; aaaah-aaaah-aaaah-aaaah-aaaah-aaaah!" {Here we are seeing him with a really contented look on his face as he is now happily sniffing 'What He Thinks Is The Mushroom'}: "I love a mushroom!" {Here he now has a sad look on his face and using a happy and teary voice}: "In fact, I love a parade!" "But, I love a mushroom better. I even eat them raw!" {Here we are seeing him eating his 'So-Called' mushroom in a total state of joy}:

We are now finding out that Professour Horace Glutz; {in his totally skunked state has now twisted things around a tad. As he has miss calculated things and called the "REAL MUSHROOM" a "TOADSTOOL" and visa-versa as he is now eating the real "TOADSTOOL" as The President Of Pure Food Association Of America is now jumping up in a really worried state and is whisper-yelling at Professour Horace Glutz in a worried voice about the mix-up.

PRESIDENT OF PURE FOOD ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA to PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ: {As he is now bending over and putting his hands on the table and with a really worried look as he is whispering to him in a really low and worried voice}: "Professour, you're eating the toadstool!"

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to the PRESIDENT OF PURE FOOD ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA and his OTHER COLLEAGUES: {As Professour GLutz now has a worried look and is stating to them in a garbbled mouth filled of toadstool voice}: "Awha-awha-awha-awha-awha-awha; haahwa-haahwa-haahwa-haahwa-haahwa-haahwa; what, what!?" {Here we are seeing Professour Horace Glutz now turning away and is spitting out quickly the toadstool as he is now making a quick and tipsy recovery in his mistake as he is now staggering up to the front of the other colleagues and is stating in a really slurred speech}: "Haha-haha-haha-haha-haha-haha; only proves, that toadstools are not poisoness unless swallowed. Now, Gentlemen, I want to thank-you for this dinner. You are all my friends, my pals, I'd go through anything for you!" {Here Professour Glutz is using hand gestures to support himself and was swaying to and fro and slightly shouting in a really carrying voice}:

We are now completing the Business Meeting Dinner as we are now seeing Professour Horace Glutz falling flat on his face totally drunk onto the table and is totally smucking the Dutch Delft Chinaware and the rest of the table.

We are now in the bathroom quarters of Professour Horace Glutz; {The bathroom is very well beat-out, the walls are dirty and chipped, there is bathroom paper scattered all over the floor. The black and white chequered flooring is dirty and marred up. There is also two lighting fixtures hanging from the walls with three naked light bulbs in each one. A dirty and chipped pedestal style of a white ceramic sink. One dirty glass widnow with a torn white lace window treatment. A bathing and hand towel rack on the left wall that is dirty and scratched up. Some dirty washins' tossed on the floor. A tarnished shower curtain rodding with a tattered ocean pattern curtain hanging from it. The bathing tub has seen a happier life, as it is chipped up white ceramic, with a shower head that is hanging loosely from the wall. Plus on the wall inside of the tub area, there is a painting on the wall that is slighty chipped of a rough ocean, pale bleu cloudless skyeline with a full sun in shine and eight Canadian Ganders flying through the skye.

Now we are seeing the very well bombed out Professour Horace Glutz in his nightware and house-coat as he is sitting on the edge of the bathing tub with a beat out little white painted stand by his left side with a huge pitcher of ice water and headache powder on it. He also has an ice bag on his head as he has a sick look on his face as he is moaning loudly ------ 'Yeowha-ooooh, yeowha-ooooh, yeowha-ooooh, yeowha-ooooh, yeowha-ooooh, as he is now nursing a really gigantic hang-over. He is now in the process of rubbing his face as his ice bag is now falling off of his head and he flinches in terrible pain. We are now seeing him shaking terribly as he is now grabbing for the water pitcher that is on the end stand by him: {I should state he is trying to take hold of the water pitcher - he has tried thrice and is unable to steady his hands enough to grab the water pitcher as we are seeing him trying his ever loving best to grab it as we are hearing "FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW" being played. He is now in the process of grabbing his bathing towel and is wrapping it around his neck as he is now extending the left side of the towel and is able to get a hold of the water pitcher as he is now pulling on the shorter right side of the towel to be able to get the pitcher so he can drink from it ------ which turns out to be a total success.

He has now dranken the entire large sized water pitcher of water as he has a really pie-eyed look on his face as some of the water is now drbbling down his chin as he is now staggering over to his medicine chest and firstly looks into the mirror as he flinches as he is now seeing what he looks like; pastey-faced, bloodshot eyes, that are bugging out of his head, and a sickish look on his face.

He is now opening his medicine chest looking for more headache powder but he has now hit himself hard on the forehead with the door. He is now staggering over to the cracked and dirty three-quarters length mirror that is on the back of the bathroom door as he is now looking at himself and seeing what a worn out and drunken mess that he is in and has a really tearie eyed look on his face.

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to his REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR: {As he is using hand gestures and is talking to himself in a crying voice}: "Oh, so you're a wiseguy, unha? You try to drink everything in sight. Well, you know it makes you sick, and you hate everybody and everything they've done, and all the things you've done yourself! I'd like to give you a good punch right in the nose!" {Right here at this cue we are now seeing his wife "DOTTIE GLUTZ"; {LORETTA SAYERS}; opening the bathroom door with a scared look on her face as she is now boinking her husband square on the nose with the bathroom door}: {She is dressed in a lovely ankle-length black velvet dress with a huge white lace v-neck collar, short-sleeves with white lace cuffs of the sleeves, flesh coloured stockins', black spiked heeled shoes and a black and white brochette pin}:

WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ to her HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ: {As she is now noticing that he ain't sober is looking at him with a mad look as she is stating to him in a really mad voice}: "Drunk, again?!"

HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ to his WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ: {As he is looking at her with a pie-eyed, spaced out look and is stating to her in a slurred voice}: "Are ya?"

WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ to her HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ: {As she is looking at him with a really mad look and is shouting at him madly}: "No, I mean you!"

HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ to his WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ: {As he is standing there swaying from side to side as he has a really bombed look on his face as he is stating to her in a really slurred and sick sounding voice}: "Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh; let me alone, I think I'm gonna be sick!"

WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ to her HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ: {As she is still standing in their bathroom with a really sarcastic look on her face as she is stating to him in a really sarcastic voice as she has her arms crossed}: "Ehya, you better straighten yourself out, Mother's coming!"

HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ to his WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ: {As he now has a really scared look on his face, and his eyes are bugging out of his head as his mouth is agait is stating to her in a really evil voice}: "Lord, now I know I'm gonna be sick!"

WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ to her HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ: {As she is standing there with arms still crossed and a disgusted look on her face as she is shouting at him in a really loud and mad voice}: "Oh, I wouldn't talk about her that way, you know she's been hell!" {Here we are seeing Dottie Glutz, followed by her husband walking over to the medicine chest as she is putting on the final touches of her primping. He has a really dazed and sick look on his face as he too is looking in the mirror}:

HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ to his WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ: {As she is now opening the medicine chest and is looking in it as he is looking at her with a really sick look as he is asking her in a really sarcastic and slurred voice}: "What, are you looking for?"

WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ to her HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ: {As she now has a blank stare on her face and is stating to him in a really low and carrying voice}: "I'm looking for something for Mother's throat!"

HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ to his WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ: {As he is looking at her with a really wicked and dazed look and is stating to her in a really low and slurred, wicked voice}: "Unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha-unha; henha-henha-henha-henha-henha-henha-henha-henha-henha; try this!" {Here we are seeing him with a really wicked and mischievous look on his face as he is stating to her wickedly as he is holding a straight-edged razor in his hand}:

WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ to her HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ: {As she is giving him a really ugly look and is stomping out of their bathroom in utter disgust}: "Henha-henha-henha-henha-henha-henha-henha-henha; hemph=hemph=hemph-hemph-hemph-hemp-hemph-hemph!"

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ: {As he has a mad look on his face and is now tossing the razor back into their medicine chest as he is now walking to the bathroom door and is taking a quick peek out of it to see if the coast is clear, is now looking at himself in the mirror in utter disgust}: "Oh, what's the use. Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh; yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah!"

We are hearing now the front door buzzar ringing; {which is of dark cherry wood with a bevelled and stained glass full length window in it}: as Dottie is now answering it.

Professour Horace Glutz is now walking down their stairwell dressed in a dark grey tweed suit and vest, white dress shirt, grey and white stripped tie, black dress shoes, as he has a really still slightly sick and really disgusted look on his face.

DOTTIE GLUTZ to her MOTHER/ HORACE'S MOTHER-IN-LAWS; {CORA WITHERSPOON}: {As Dottie is now opening the front door with a look of glee on her face as she is stating to her in a really happy voice}: "Mother!"

HORACE'S MOTHER-IN-LAW; {DOTTIES MOTHER}; to DOTTIE GLUTZ: {As she is now smiling gleefully and has a really happy look on her face as she has now kissed Dottie on her left cheek}: "Darling!"

All the while that Dottie and her Mother were exchanging pleasantries Horace was standing there looking away with a really sick and disgusted look on his face.

HORACE'S MOTHER-IN-LAW to PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ: {As she is looking at Horace with a disgusted look and is stating to him in a really disgusted voice}: "Hello, you!"

We are now seeing Mother/Mother-In-Law handing to Horace this really ugly, mangey, small little "Mexican Hairless Chihuahua." The Chihuahua is dressed in a funny looking Mexican style of a coat as she is now walking into their house in a mad and disgusted state.

Dottie has now given her husband a really filthy look as she is now joining her mother.

Professour Horace Glutz now has a bug-eyed and disgusted look on his face as he is still holding that mangey rat on a rope as we are now getting a close-up on the Chihuahua's coat as we are now seeing his name which is "TOOTSIE!"

Now we are seeing Horace's "BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM"; {LIONEL STANDER}; walking in dressed in a dark bleu suit and vest with a white dress shirt, bleu and white stripped tie, black dress shoes and a bleu hat with a white band around it.

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE: {As he is now placing his hat on his head and is giving Horace a medium sock on his left cheek is stating to Horace in a mean voice}: "Hiya, Punk!"

Horace is now yelling loudly in pain; "Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha to his Brother-In-Law's socke and has a really hurt look on his face as Horace is still holding that ugly little Chihuahua.

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE: {As Bertram is stating to Horace in a really disgusted voice}: "Still a sucker for a Right!"

We are now seeing Bertram's Sister Gracie walking in dressed in a long-sleeved, ankle-lengthed black linen dress, with a white bow on the front, blakc wrist length gloves and flesh coloured stockins', black high heeled shoes and a black velvet hat.

SISTER GRACIE to BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE: {As she is looking at him with a devilish look on her face and is using a devilish tone of a voice as she now gently socks Horace in the chest}: "Hiya, Big Boy!"

Brother-In-Law Horace to Sister Gracie as he now once again yells 'Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha in pain and is still holding Tootsie goes to give her a swift boot in her keester as he is now missing her and is knocking over a ceramic white pedestal with a vase of flowers on it.

We are now seeing Mother/Mother-In-Law, Daughter/Wife Dottie, and Sister Gracie now entering into their Parlour that is decorated with dirty and chipped painted walls, a marred up doorwell, and dirty door. Plus there is a full lenght window of chipped walnut wood and a dirty looking white cotton window treatment hanging from it. Plus on the right side of your screen there is a walnut wood stand with a mirror above it, a small chair and table sized lamp on it with a stained glass shade. Plus there is another double layered book shelvings to your left that are of dark, beat out walnut wood and several books on it plus a white ceramic bust. There is also a walnut wood fire place that has a floor-sized lamp on the floor mantle, plus behind the lamp there is a picture of flowers with a lattice designed photoshot frame to make it look like an outdoors window. Plust there is another one just like it on the other side of the fire place. On to of the fire place mantle there is a small lamp and several statues of sterling silver horseys. There is also a cut-out behind the fire place mantle that is decorated with several decorative plateware. The fire place is a huge cut-out made of bricks and is open with no fire place grate and there is a fire burning in it. Plus there is a small dining table with four white linen place squares and two sterling silver candlesticks with lit candles in them. The dining chairs are an eighteenth century style design with lion's as the feet and white linen chair coverings. Plus there is another long end type of a table that has a floral runner down it and a couple of vases of roses on it. Plus there are three toss rugs made of an Oriental print in wool. One is in front of the fire place, the second on is by the long table with the mirror, and the third one is in front of the entrance door. Plus we are also seeing Brother-In-Law Bertram now entering into the Parlour.

MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW to DAUGHTER/WIFE DOTTIE: {As she is stating to her in a really gleeful voice}: "Oh, you take it all over the place!"

DOTTIE to her MOTHER: {As she is stating to her mother in a really carrying voice}: "Oh, you sit down and rest yourself."

We are now getting a slight tour of the backside of the Parlour as we are now seeing a picture of a collagé of mushrooms, one gigantic white one in the centre with two tiny white mushrooms on both sides. Next we are getting a shot on another dirty desk like table with a lamp on it with a stained glass shade also with three mushroom statues on it. There is another cut-out above the desk-table that is of chipped walnut wood with a lit lamp on it, two mushroom statues and a picture of three mushrooms. Now we are seeing to the right of that same cut-out an oval shaped piece of wood with one gigantic white mushroom on it. Now we are seeing on the cut-out and the backside of the mantle another picture of three mushrooms and one gigantic white clay mushroom sitting on the back fire place mantle.

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to DAUGHTER/WIFE DOTTIE, SISTER GRACIE, MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW, and BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM: {As he is now looking around the Parlour and is using a disgusted voice}: "Gee, this joint is over-burdened with mushrooms. What I need is a little salt and pepper, and I'd eat the chair!" {Here we are seeing a little end chair that is the shape of a mushroom}:

We are now seeing Mother/Mother-In-Law sitting on one of the dining chairs as Dottie is giving her some coffee to drink. Bertram is standing in the centre of the Parlour with a mischievous look on his face as we are now seeing Horace giving his Brother-In-Law a really filthy look due to him insulting Horace about his mushrooms collections as Horace is now setting Tootsie down on the floor next to his Mother-In-Law.

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to WIFE/SISTER-IN-LAW DOTTIE, BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE, and MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW: {As bertram is still standing there with a really evil look on his face as he is stating to them in a really disgusted voice as he is mainly talking to Horace}: "No appreciation of the finer things, still smoking these cheap three for a buck stogies!"

We are now getting a look at Horace as he is now trying his ever loving best to regain his cool and not shouting back to his very rude and inconsiderate Brother-In-Law as he is now rubbing his left hand over his head and is swallowing hard and has a mad look on his face as his Wife Dottie is looking at him in a really carrying and concerned look.

We are now seeing the inconsiderate Bertram cleaning out the stogie box as he is now filling his suit jacket pockets with them with a really wicked look on his face.

We are now seeing Mother/Mother-In-Law still sitting on her throne as she is now primping herself as Horace is standing there being as cool as he can be as Dottie has noticed he is about to blow his cool.

DOTTIE to her MOTHER: {As she is standing there with her hands folded and with a scared look on her face as she is stating to her in a worried voice trying to cool the situation down}: "Aha, Mother, what do you think, las night Horace was made honourary member of the 'Pure Food Experts Of America'!" {Here we are seeing Horace standing there with a gigantic smile of pride on his face}:

MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW to DAUGHTER/WIFE DOTTIE: {As she is still perched on her throne with a really evil look on her face as she is stating to Dottie in a really evil I don't give a ripe tone of a voice}: "So what!" {Here Horace's smile of pride is now turning into a sad and whipped puppy look}:

DOTTIE to her MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW: {As Dottie is looking at her with a hurtful look on her face as she is stating to her in a hurtful voice as she is proudly defending her husband}: "Why, I know, but, da, but he got a bleu ribbon!"

MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW to DAUGHTER/WIFE DOTTIE: {As she is still sitting there with her head cocked and has a sluggish and mad look on her face as her eyes are now bugging out or her head in madness and I don't care as she is stating to Dottie in a I don't give a whip tone of a voice}: That's nothing, our dog has dozens of them!"

DAUGHTER/WIFE DOTTIE to MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW: {As Dottie is looking at her with a really hurt look on her face as she is stating to her in a hurt voice as she is still defending her husband}: "Oh, but, you don't understand!"

WIFE DOTTIE to her HUSBAND HORACE: {As she is looking at him with a polite look as she is stating to him in a polite and carrying voice}: "Tell them, Honey!"

We are now seeing Horace standing there with a speechless look on his face as he is now totally lost for words as he is not mute because he cannot think of the correct words to say.

WIFE DOTTIE to her HUSBAND HORACE: {As she is standing there looking at her husband with a carrying look as she is stating to him in a voice of kindness as she is helping him with the right words to say as she is using a slow and slightly dragge out voice helping him start his lines}: "No doubt, to most of you!"

HUSBAND/BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE, to BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM, MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW, SISTER/SISTER-IN-LAW GRACIE and WIFE/DAUGHTER-IN-LAW/DAUGHTER DOTTIE: {As he now has a happy look on his face as he is now proudly picking up where she left off on his speach}: "It is hard to distinguish the difference betweent the toadstool and the mushroom."

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE: {As he is looking at Horace with a really ugly look and is stating to him in a really sarcastic voice as he is now making fun of Poor Horace}: "Your brilliance, overwhelms me!"

HUSBAND/BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE to MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW, BROTHER/BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM, SISTER/SISTER-IN-LAW GRACIE, and WIFE/DAUGHTER/SISTER-IN-LAW DOTTIE: {As Horace is now flinching a tad but quickly regains his composure as he is now continuing with his speech}: "Ehya, but due to my many years of research work in the mushroom field, I find it a simple matter!"

BROTHER/BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to SISTER/SISTER-IN-LAW GRACIE, BROTHER-IN-LAW/HUSBAND HORACE, and DAUGHTER/SISTER-IN-LAW/WIFE DOTTIE: {As Bertram is standing there with a really sarcastic look on his face as he is biting back at Poor Horace in a really hurtful and sarcastic voice}: "Well, we live to learn!"

Poor, innocent Horace is now gasping for aire as he now has a really sad and hurt look on his face.

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to TOOTSIE: {As we are now seeing Tootsie lifting his leg on one of the trays of mushrooms or toadstools as he is now chowing down on them as Horace is shouting at him in a mad voice}: "Tootsie, get away from that, henha-henha-henha-henha; stop!"

We are now seeing Horace picking up from Tootsie two trays one with toadstools in it and the other one has mushrooms in it with a proud look on his face as Dottie is standing slightly behind him with a carrying look as Bertram is standing at Horace's left side with a really sarcastic look on his face.

BROTHER-IN-LAW/HUSBAND HORACE to DAUGHTER/SISTER-IN-LAW/WIFE DOTTIE, SISTER/SISTER-IN-LAW GRACIE, MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW, and BROTHER/BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM: {As he is now picking up the two trays and is placing them on their dining table in pride}: "Now, for example!"

We are now seeing everyone gathering around the dining table with somewhat interest at Horace's presentation.

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to his BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE: {As Bertram is standing there smoking one of Horace's stogies with an evil look and is using a sarcastic voice}: "This is gonna be good, he hopes!"

BROTHER-IN-LAW/HUSBAND HORACE to MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW, BROTHER/BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM, DAUGHTER/SISTER-IN-LAW/WIFE DOTTIE, and SISTER/SISTER-IN-LAW GRACIE: {As Horace has a look of pride on his face and is using a proud voice: {PERSONAL NOTATION HERE: Let's hope he doesn't make the same mistake as he did at the Business Dinner}: "Ehya, now you seein in this hand; {LEFT}; I have a common toadstool, while in this hand; {RIGHT}; I have a 'luscious mushroom." {Here Horace now starts to eat the one in his right hand}:

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to his BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE: {As Bertram is standing there with his hands in his side trousers pockets as he is now taking out his right hand and is now pointing at Horace and is stating to him in a slightly carrying voice}: "Wait a minute, Eienstein, you can't fool a Bertram!"

Here we are still seeing everyone gathered around the dining table with dazed looks on their faces as Bertram is now becoming both a slight mischievous and mean as he has now combined the two trays together.

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to his BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE: {As Bertram has a devious look on his face and is stating to Horace wickedly}: "Now, go ahead expert, pick out a mushroom!"

Now we are seeing his Wife Dottie standing by his left side looking at her husband with a really sad look and Mother/Mother-In-Law is by his right side looking at him with a really wicked look as Bertram is standing in front of Horace still smoking a stogie with a really mischievous look on his face.

HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ to his WIFE DOTTIE: {As she is looking at him with a really carrying look on her face as he is looking at her with a carrying but yet slightly scared look as he is stating to her in a scared voice}: "Hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha, can you honey, with all my years experience in the mushroom field, he's trying to tell me, that I don't know a mushroom from a ------!"

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to his BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE: {As Bertram is standing there slightly mad at Horace's stalling as Bertram has a wicked look on his face as he is stating to Horace in a mischievous voice}: "Go ahead, pick one out!"

Horace now has a slightly scared look on his face as he has said 'Ungha-hempha, ungha-hempha, ungha-hempha, ungha-hempha, in a scared state as he is now pawing through the combination box hoping he can get himself a mushroom; {not a toadstool}:

BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE to his BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM: {As Horace now has a really scared look and is choosing one and is stating to Bertram in a slightly proud voice}: "There's a mushroom!"

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to his BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE: {As Bertram is still standing there smoking his stogie with a mischievous look and is now wickedly putting Horace to the test about his choosing}: "Eat it!"

Horace now has given everyone a quick and scared glance as he is now in a totally scared state hoping he has a mushroom and not a toadstool as he is bravely, but yet a tad scared as he is now in the process of chowing it down.

As Horace is now bravely eating his mushroom/toadstool, we are now getting a quick glimpse on Tootsie as he is now thinking again about lifting his leg on the dining table leg.

MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW to BROTHER/BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM: {As she is looking at him with a really dazed look and is stating to him in a serious voice}: "Bertram, Tootise wants to go!"

BROTHER/BROTHER-IN-LAW to SISTER/SISTER-IN-LAW GRACIE: {As he is standing there with a dazed look and is still smoking that stogie is stating to her in a sarcastic voice}: "Gracie, Tootsie wants to go!"

SISTER/SISTER-IN-LAW GRACIE to SISTER/SISTER-IN-LAW DOTTIE: {As Gracie is now looking at Dottie with a blank stare as she is stating to Dottie in a lazy tone of a voice}: "Darling, Tootsie wants to go!"

WIFE DOTTIE to her HUSBAND HORACE: {As she is looking at him with a bug-eyed and devious look as she is stating to him in a begging and pleading voice}: "Horace!?"

HUSBAND/BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE to SISTER-IN-LAW/WIFE DOTTIE, BROTHER/BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM, SISTER/SISTER-IN-LAW GRACIE, AND MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW: {As Horace is now standing there with a mischievous and bug-eyed look on his face as he still has a mouthful of musheroom and is stating to them in a slightly garbbled voice}: "Henha-henha-henha-henha; hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha; I know, Tootsie wants to go!"

We are now seeing Horace outside with Tootsie at a lovely public parke with beautiful fully leafed out oak trees, a brick sidewalk, marble pedestals with statues on them, beautiful waterfall inside of a pond with a lady statue pouring water from a bottle, several fully bloomed rose tress and bushes. plus a safety wall that is totally covered in ivy. Horace is now walking Tootsie around and talking to him in a childish, happy voice.

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to TOOTSIE: {As he is happily walking him with a wiry look on his face and is stating to him in baby talk language}: "Here you are my little baby, whoo, yeah, that's it, my little baby, I love you, come on!"

Here we are seeing Horace sitting on a parke bench as he is picking up Tootsie and is holding him as he is sitting next to a couple of gentlemen, an older gentlemen in his early seveties; dressed in a black suit and vest, white dress shirt, plain black tie and black dress shoes. A younger gentleman who is also dressed in a plain black suit and vest, white dress shirt, black and white stripped tie, and black dress shoes, and a white hat with a black band on it. The younger gentleman has a lovely, georgeous, beautiful, magnificent, "Wire Fox Terrier!" by his side. The two gentlemen are tentatively watching Horace and Tootsie in dazed states.

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to TOOTSIE: {As he is now gently picking him up and is hugging him and smiling at Tootsie with a really loving smile and is using loving, baby talk with him}: "Upsey, Daisy!"

OLDER STATELY GENTLEMEN to PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ: {As the older stately gentleman is now looking at both Horace and Tootsie with a dazed look as he is asking Horace in a dazed and questionable voice about that 'RAT' that Horace is hugging}: "What kind of a dog, is that?"

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to the OLDER STATELY GENTLEMAN: {As Horace is still lovingly looking at Tootsie and hugging him as he is looking at the older stately gentleman with a really sweet smile as he is stating to him in a really proud voice}: "It's a Mexican Hairless!"

We are now seeing the older stately gentleman starring at Tootsie with a bug-eyed and mischievous look as he is trying to figure out if he should even put that 'Mexican Hairless Rat' into the dog world.

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to the STATELY OLDER GENTLEMAN: {As Horace is now starring at the bald older stately gentlema with a bug-eyed and worried look as he is asking him in a worried and questionable voice about the gentleman's bald head}: "Are you from Mexico, too?"

We are now seeing the Older Stately Gentleman looking at Horace in a mad way as he is now slightly backing away from Horace in madness.

YOUNGER GENTLEMAN with WIRE FOX TERRIER to PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ: {As he is looking at Horace with a really worried look and is asking him in a questionable voice}: Hey, say, hey, he looks kinda puney, what, yeaha-yeaha, do you feed him on?"

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to the YOUNGER GENTLEMAN with WIRE FOX TERRIER: {As Horace is now looking at him with a mad and slightly mischievous look and is answering back to him a mischievous voice}: "On the floor!"

OLDER STATELY GENTLEMAN to PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ: {As he is looking at Horace with a really dazed look as he is stating to Horace in a serious voice}: "I think there outta be a law against married men walking the dog!"

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to the OLDER STATELY GENTLEMAN: {As Horace is now lovingly hugging Tootsie and is looking at him with a bug-eyed and mean look as Horace is stating to him in a mean voice}: "Oh, I think it's just dandy, I don't mind it at all!"

OLDER STATELY GENTLEMAN to PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ: {As he is looking at Horace with a dumbfounded look as he is stating to Horace in a serious and questionable voice}: "How long you been at it?"

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to the OLDER STATELY GENTLEMAN: {As Horace is looking at him with a dazed look and is stating to him in a mischievous voice}: "I started today!"

OLDER STATELY GENTLEMAN to PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ: {As he is looking at Horace with a carrying look and is asking Horace in a questionable voice}: "Been out very long?"

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to the OLDER STATELY GENTLEMAN: {As Horace is still hugging Tootsie and is looking at him with a blank stare and is answering him in a daze voice}; "Bout half hour!"

OLDER STATELY GENTLEMAN to PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ: {As the gentleman is looking at Horace with a mischievous look and is asking Horace in a mischievous and questionable voice}: "Ehya, did he?"

Professour Horace Glutz is now looking at the older stately gentleman with a really disgusted look, as he is now turning his back on both of the gentlemen in utter disgust. Horace has now kissed Tootsie on the upper part of his keester in love.

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to TOOTSIE: {As we are getting a close-up on Tootsie who has a really sweet look on his face as Horace is statint to him in baby talk language appologetically}: "Heeha-heeha-heeha-heeha; don't mind, bad, naughty, man, who talk to little baby like that. Blow the nose, yeah Tootie, blow the nose, yeah Tootie!" {Here we are seeing Horace taking out his handkerchief from his right side suit jacket pocket and is holding it up to Tootsie's nos and the other other two Gentlemen and their Wire Fox Terrier are now getting up and leaving in utter disgust as Horace has given them a parting disgusted look}:

We are now at the Glutz's residence as we are now seeing Bertram in their library quarters which is decorated in dark grey painted chipped walls. One very tattered walnut wood book shelving with a lattice style arch over it with a sparse collection of books on it, falling in every direction. There is one mangey looking floor lamp with a stained-glass style of lamp shade on it. There is a torn and dirty full-length curtain hanging from a rod that leads into a storage area. Plus there are several pictures of mushrooms on the walls, as there is an end stand with a mirror on it and a little bench style of a chair with a chequered print cushion and the shelf is totally decorated with different sizes of mushroom statues. Plus there is one oval shaped snack sized table with a white linen doily on it, and a silver serving tray and cups along the side and with a gigantic mushroom stand, plus mushroom shaped salt and pepper shakers. Plus there is a large-sized Oriental style toss rug in the centre of the floor.

We are now seeing Bertram smoking another stogie as he is now snooping around their Library.

BROTHER-IN-LAW to his SISTER-IN-LAW DOTTIE GLUTZ: {As we are now seeing Dottie walking into their Libraty with a dazed look on her face as Bertram is looking at her with a serious look as he is now asking her in a polite tone of a voice}: "Say, Sis, where's the phone?"

SISTER-IN-LAW DOTTIE to BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM: {As she is looking at him with a quizzical look as she is answering him in a low and polite voice}: "In that mushroom!" {Here we are seeing Dottie pointing to that gigantic mushroom statue on the end table}:

BROTHER-IN-LAW to DOTTIE GLUTZ: {As he took a quick glance at the 'Mushroom Telephone' and then is looking at her in a sarcastic look and is asking her in a really questionable voice}: "You got plenty of food?"

SISTER-IN-LAW DOTTIE GLUTZ to BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM: {As she is now looking at him with a sweet smile as she is stating to him in a reall happy voice}; "Yes, why?"

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to SISTER-IN-LAW DOTTIE: {As he is still smoking that stogie and is looking at her with a devious look as he is stating to her in a mischievous voice}: "I was thinking of inviting a couple of me pals up for dinner!"

DOTTIE GLUTZ to BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM: {As she is looking at him with a happy look as she is stating to him a gleeful voice}: "Oh, your friends are always welcome, dear, go ahead and call them!"

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to his SISTER-IN-LAW DOTTIE: {As he is looking at her with a really gleeful look as he is stating to her in a happy and polite voice}: "Thanks!"

We are now seeing Dottie Glutz leaving their Library in a happy state as Bertram is now in the process of using their 'Mushroom Telephone' to call a bunch of his pals and inviter them to partake in the evening grub.

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to the TELEPHONE OPERATOR: {As Bertram is sitting at a chair and is calling his pals as he is polietly stating to the Telephone Operator the telephone number that he wants}: "B-R-Y-A-N-T 9-6512!"

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to the TELEPHONE OPERATOR: {As he is now spelling out the work in his telephone number to the Telephone Operator in a really happy voice}: "B - like in Bologna; R - like in Artichokes; Y - like in Wyoming; ANT; T - T; like in Take Me Out To The Ballgame!"

Bertram has now reached the telephone number that he wanted.

BERTRAM to KELLY'S POOLE ROOM: {As he is sitting there with a really dazed look on his face as he is stating to them in a really mischievous voice}: "Hello, Kelly's Poole Room, is Thorndyke or Cavanaugh there? Okay, put either one of them on the phone."

HALLELUJAH; {It is ten minutes and forty-nine seconds into the Short and we are now finally meeting "THORNDYKE"; {SAMUEL HORWITZ}:

As he is now happily swaggering to the telephone dressed in a white chequered short-sleeved dress shirt, that is opened at the neck, dark grey dress trousers, black dress shoes, white straw-style of a hat with a black band and he also is wearing a black vest as he has a poole cue stick in his hand as he is now in the process of entering into a telephone booth and is happily answering the telephone.

THORNDYKE to the TELEPHONE: {As Thorndyke has a blank look on his face as he is using a happy voice}: "Hello? Oh, hello Bertram, this is Torndyke!"

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE: {As we are seeing Bertram sitting in front of the 'Mushroom Telephone' with his legs crossed and has a really mischievous look on his face as he is now smoking a 'COFFIN NAIL' and is stating to Thorndyke in a really happy voice}: "I'm up in me Brother-In-Laws joint. Have you partaken of your evening repasts yet?"

Here we are now seeing Horace Glutz walking into their Library as he now has a really worried look on his face as he is scared at what trouble Bertram is now cooking up.

THORNDYKE to BERTRAM: {As Thorndyke has a really happy look on his face as he is still in the telephone booth and is stating to Bertram in a happy and slightly appologetic voice}: "Cavanaugh and me's got a date with a couple of co-eds, can we bring them along?" {Here we are seeing Cavanaugh standing outside of the telephone booth dressed in a white short-sleeved dress shirt, black dress trousers, black bow-tie and black dress shoes as he is looking at Thorndyke and is wondering what he is up to as Thorndyke now gives him a cocked and mischievous wink}:

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE: {As Bertram now has a really mean look on his face as he is stating to him in a really mean tone of a voice}: "Wait a minute, Pal, see dis is my sisters joint!" {Here we are still seeing Horace standing in the doorway of the Library as he is watching his Brother-In_law Bertram with a really bug-eyed, scared look as he is still not informed of what mischief Bertram is cooking up}:

THORNDYKE to BERTRAM: {As we are now back on Throndyke in the telephone boot as he has now given Cavanaugh another mischievous wink as he is stating to Bertram in a really mischievous voice}: "But, these Dames are High Class!"

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE: {As we are now back on Bertram as he is sitting there with a devious smile on his face as he is stating back to Thorndyke in a serious and questionable voice}: "Oh, they're High Class? Bring the Tomatoes with ya!"

We are now seeing Bertram and Thorndyke ending their telephone conversation.

THORNDYKE to CAVANAUGH: {As he now has a really mischievous look on his face as he is whispering to Cavanaugh in a low and mischievous voice as he is now walking out of the telephone booth following after Cavanaugh}: "We're going, we're going!" {Here we are hearing the Dames moaning in the background in madness; 'Oh Boy, we're going'!}:

We are now seeing Bertram as he is fighting with the 'Mushroom Telephone Booth' as he is trying to put the telephone back into it. After several minutes of fighting with it he is now totally 'TICKED' off with it as he is now smashing it to the floor and scattering it into a million little pieces.

BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE to his BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM: {As Horace now has a horrified look of pain on his face as he has now noticed his mushroom laying on the floor busted beyond repair as Horace is now in the process of socking Bertram right in his kisser as he is yelling to him in a voice of petrified panic}: "Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh; what did you want to do that for? That was a reproduction of a 'Giant Umbrella Mushroom'!"

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to his BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE: {As Bertram is standing there with his left hand in his trousers pocket as he is now lighting up another stogie with his right hand as he is looking at Horace with a wickedly mischief look and is stating to him in a mischievous voice}; "Well, it ain't gonna rain no more!"

BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE to his BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM: {As Horace is now beyond mad at him as he is now starting to grab Bertram by the throat with his right hand and is holding up two fingers of his left hand}: "For two pins, I'd........!"

HORACE'S MOHTER-IN-LAW to her SON-IN-LAW HORACE: {As she is ow entering into the Library in a horrified state of madness as she is shouting wickedly at Horace in defending Bertram}: "Horace, how dare you raise your hand and strike my son, after all he's done for you?!"

SON-IN-LAW HORACE to his MOTHER-IN-LAW: {As the poor, innocent and really hurt Horace is now looking at her with a really sad and whipped puppy look as he is using hand gestures to support himself as he is stating to her in a really sad and crying voice}: "What has he done for me? But break my pet fungus, 'FUNGUS'!"

As Horace was standing there in horrible pain we were seeing Dottie, Mother/Mother-In-Law and Bertram looking at him with looks of we don'c care.

MOTHER-IN-LAW to her SON-IN-LAW HORACE: {As she is standing there with her hands on her waist as she is starring at Horace with a really wicked and cold glare as she is evily shouting at him}: "Don't get vulgar!"

Here we are seeing Mother/Mother-In-Law turning her head away in an embarrassed state and with a sad look on her face as Dottie is looking at both Bertram and her Husband with a really evil glare as we are now seeing Horace bug-eyed and starring evily at Bertram as Bertram is now glarring back at Horace with a really sad and apologetic look as Bertram has now waved a finger at Horace to remain cool.

WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ to her HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ: {As she is now taking sides with Bertram as she is now giving her husband a filthy look as she is shouting wickedly at him}: "What, has he done? When you were out walking with Tootsie, he fixed your radio!" {Here we are seeing Bertram standing there with a gleeful look on his face as he is nodding his head in approval at Horace}:

MOTHER-IN-LAW to her SON-IN-LAW HORACE: {As she is standing there glarring wickedly at Horace as she is now yelling at him in an evil voice}: "Something you've been trying to do for the last six payments!"

WIFE DOTTIE GLUTZ to her HUSBAND HORACE GLUTZ: {As she is looking him evily and is shouting at him meanly still on Bertram's side}: "And your Electric Ice Box, tool!"

MOTHER-IN-LAW to her SONE-IN-LAW HORACE: {As she is looking at him in a bug-eyed evil manner as she is yelling at him in a high pitched mean voice}: "Henha, you couldn't even defrost it!"

BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE to his BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM: {As Horace is now looking at Bertram with a thankful look as he is asking Bertram in a questionable and happy voice}: "Henha-henha-henha-henha; how did you do it?"

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to his BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE: {As Bertram is now looking at Horace with a proud look as he is stating to Horace in a really cocky tone of a voice}: "Well, you see Pal, they both run on elasticity, and the nejative wire was mixed-up with the absolute so with a simple manipulation of the wrist." {Here we are seeing Bertram taking his right hand and turning it in a circle to represent the switchings of the two wires}: "I fixed 'em both, at once, at the same time." {Here we are seeing Bertram looking at Horace in a state of pride as Bertram has now snapped his fingers to support himself}: "Simultaneous, go over and turn it on!"

Here we are now seeing Horace looking at Bertram with a dazed look as Dottie and Mother/Mother-In-Law are looking at Bertram in a state of pride. Horace has now shook his head in disbelief as he is now 'HOT FOOTING' it over to the Boogie-Woogie Box and has now flipped it on and he is hearing nothing but the defrosting mechanism of the Electric Ice Box as Horace has now gone into their kitchen and has flicked on the defrost switch as we are now hearing music being played.

{Their kitchen is decorated with blank grey painted walls. A light hanging over the entrance door. Plus there is a ceiling fan light, on the right. There is a preparations sink, with a towelling rack over it with two towels hanging on it. In the centre, there is the electric ice box and on the sides, there are two white storage cabinets. The one on the right is for tableware, towels, and cooking untensils. The one on the left is for cooking pots and pans plus spices. On the left wall is their cooking stove and oven. Then in front view is the breakfast table with a white linen table covering, a sterling silver coffee and teapot set, and white floral chinaware tea and coffee cups. The floor is of black and white tiling squares laid out in a chequered pattern. And on top of their electric ice box are four gigantic mushroom statues}:

Horace is now totally furious with Bertram as he is fuming at the mouth and is storming out of the kitchen in horrible madness as he is now in the process of wanting to cremate Bertram to death.

We are now back in the Library as we are seeing the Boogie-Woogie Box and it is still making the sound of the Electric Ice Box defrosting mechanism as Horace has now shut it off and has gotten a electrical shock from it as he now has a horrifed look of pain on his face as he is now rubbing his sore right hand.

We are now seeing Thorndyke, Cavanaugh and their dates out on their front entrance porch as the have now pushed the door buzzar which has set the player piano to start playing. We are now seeing horrified looks of pain on both Dottie's and Mother/Mother-In-Laws faces as they are seeing the piano playing.

We are now back in the Parlour as Horace now has a look of bewilderment on his face as he is now hearing the piano playing as we are watching it.

Thorndyke has now pushed the door buzzar a second time and is now causing the piano to stop playing. {Here we saw Dottie, Mother/Mother-In-Law and Bertram all looking at one another with looks of wonderment on their faces about what is setting the piano to play}:

Here we go again, as Thorndyke has for a third time pushed the door buzzar, and yes the piano is playing once again. {Dottie has now given Mother a really dumbfounded look about what is going on with the piano as Bertram also has a dumbfounded look as he is trying to hide that he knows is what causing the mysterious playing of their piano.

MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW to DAUGHTER/SISTER-IN-LAW DOTTIE, and her SON BERTRAM: {As all three of them have really scared looks on their faces about the haunted piano playing as Mother is stating to the two of them in a really petrified voice}: "Joint's haunted!"

SON/BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to DAUGHTER/SISTER-IN-LAW DOTTIE, and MOTHER: {As he now has a really sheepish look on his face as he stating to them mischievously}: "Gee, whizz, I must of got the doorbell wire mixed-up with the Electric Piano, but, don't let that bother you, it's just a detail!" {Here we are seeing Dottie and Mother turning their heads away with really disgusted looks on their faces as the 'FEATHER-BRAINED IMBECILE' Bertram is sitting there with his legs crossed and a happy look on his face as he is smoking a stogie and not realising there there is someon at the front door}:

We are now on round four of the door buzzar game, as Thorndyke is now ringing the door buzzar causing the piano to play and is not shutting it up as we are now hearing six quick raps on their front door.

SON/BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW, and DAUGHTER/SISTER-IN-LAW DOTTIE: {As Bertram has a really happy look on his face as he is pointing a finger at them and is stating in a serious voice as he is now going to the door}: "My Associates."

We are now seeing Bertram walking briskly to the front door to let his 'Associates' in.

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE: {As Bertram is talking to him in a really happy and upbeat tone of a voice}: "Hiya, Thorndyke!"

THORNDYKE to BERTRAM: {As Thorndyke is now entering in a happy state and is now removing his hat}: "Hiya, Bertram, I want you to meet the girlfriend Myrtle." {She is dressed in an ankle-length black cotton dress, with a white cotton lace style of a collar, short-sleeved, with fur trim on the sleeves, black hat, flesh coloured stockins', black heeled shoes and she is happily and rapidly chomping down on a gum stick}:

BERTRAM to MYRTLE: {As he is looking at her with a really happy look and is stating to her in a happy voice}: "Hiya, Myrtle!"

MYRTLE to BERTRAM: {As she has her hands on her waist and is swaying from side to side as she is asking him in a sarcastic voice}: "When do we eat?"

THORNDYKE to BERTRAM: {As he is now tapping Bertram on his left arm with a mischievous smile on his face as he is stating to Bertram in a mischievous voice}: "Wait, to you get a load of her appetite, she tears into food like she's mad at it, haha-haha-haha-haha-haha-haha-haha-haha!"

Now we are seeing Cavanaugh and his 'Tomato' {She is dressed in a grey wook plaid jacket, with a silk grey shirt hat has a huge tie in a gigantic bow, black hat with a grey feather in the back, black purse, straight-cut, slightly too small grey wool plaid knee-length skirt, flesh coloured stockins' and black cubed heeled shoes}:

CAVANAUGH to BERTRAM: {As he now has a look of pride on his face as he is now pointing a finger at his date as he is now introducing her to Bertram happily}: "Hey, Bertram, I want you to meet me friend, Gert."

GERT to BERTRAM: {As she has a happy look on her face as she is turning slightly to her right as she is slightly jumping into the aire and is waving her left hand in the aire and is batting her eyes}: "Hi, Kid!"

BERTRAM to GERT: {As he has a huge smile on his face and is waving his right hand to her is stating to her in a happy voice}: "Hiya, Gert!"

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE, CAVANAUGH, MYRTLE, and GERT: {As he is now gently touching Thorndyke on his right arm is stating to them with a wiry smile on his face and is using a polite tone of a voice}: "Come on inside, make yourself at home!"

We are now seeing Thorndyke with Myrtle and Cavanaugh with Gert as the two gentlemen are now walking in with their dates as the girls are now swaggering slightly trying to act sophisticated and demuré as they are now looking the house ove and giving it great revues.

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH and GERT: {As he is now looking at them happily as he is stating to them in a gleeful voice}: "If you want anything, just ask for it, consider the place yours!"

We are now entering back into the Parlour where we are seeing Dottie standing up with a really worried look on her face as Mother is sitting on a dining chair as we are now seeing Thorndyke, Myrtle, Cavanaugh, and Gert happily walking in.

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH, and GERT: {As Bertram now has a look of pride on his face as he is now pointing a hand at his Mother in pride and is stating in a proud voice}: "Fellas, a guy's best Pal, and to be with quicken is his Mother, and I want you to meet mine. Me, Mudder!"

MOTHER to THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH, and GERT: {As she gives them a quick and ugly stare and states to them in a sarcastic voice as she is now turning her face away from them}: "How-do-you-do!"

THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH, and GERT to MOTHER: {As all of them are looking at her with really happy looks as they are stating to her in polite and unison voices}: "How-do-you-do!"

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH, and GERT: {As Bertram has a really happy look on his face as he is pointing a finger at his Sister and is stating in a polite voice}: "My Sister, Dottie!"

THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH, and GERT to DOTTIE: {As they still have happy smiles on their faces and is stating to her in polite and unison voices}: "How-do-you-do!"

DOTTIE to THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH, and GERT: {As Dottie is looking at them with a wiry look and is stating to them politely}: "How-do-you-do!"

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH, and GERT: {As he is still making polite introductions as he is pointing a finger at his other Sister and is stating in pride}: "My Sister, Gracie!"

THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH, and GERT to GRACIE: {As they still have their happy looks on their faces as they are responding back to Gracie in polite and unison voices}: "How-do-you-do!"

Here we are seeing Horace entering the Parlour Room with a really happy look on his face as he came in to see what is going on.

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH, and GERT: {As he is now completing the introductions as he is pointing a finger at Horace and is stating in a happy and polite voice}: "And, this is my Brother-In-Law!"

THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH, and GERT to HORACE: {As they still have happy looks on their faces and are stating to him in polite and unison voices}: "How-do-you-do!"

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE: {As Bertram is now bending closely to Thorndyke's left ear and is quietly whispering into it}: He's a 'Kinda-Sourer' on mushrooms."

THORNDYKE to BERTRAM: {As he is looking at Bertram with a cocked look as he is now quietly asking Bertram in a questionable voice}: "What's that?"

MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW to THORNDYKE: {As she has a mean look on her face and is stating in a mean voice as she is now exiting the Parlour}: "Mushrooms!"

We are now seeing Dottie, Gracie, and Myrtle gathering together and are getting better acquainted with one another. Gert is sitting in a chair by the fire place as Cavanaugh is standing by her and Bertram is standing by Cavanaugh as Thorndyke is now approaching Horace.

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE and CAVANAUGH: {As he is searching through his suit jacket pockets and is taking out some stogies with a happy look on his face as he is stating to them polietly}: "Come on, Fellas, here, hace a cigar, make yourselves at home, go ahead, go ahead!"

THORNDYKE to HORACE: {As Thorndyke is now approaching Horace in a state of wonderment, as he is asking Horace in a questionable voice}: "What he say you was?"

PROFESSOUR HORACE GLUTZ to THORNDYKE: {As Horace is now standing there with a gleeful look on his face as he is now counting on his fingers as Horace is now stating in pride to Thorndyke his mushroom speal}: "Henha-henha-henha-henha; No doubt, to most of you, it is hard to distinguish the difference between the toadstool and the mushroom!"

THORNDYKE to HORACE: {As Thorndyke is now using hand gestures to shut-up Horace as he is looking at him with a quizzical look as Thorndyke is now shouting at him in a mad voice}: "Now, wait a minute, will you wait a minute?"

THORNDYKE to BERTRAM, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH, GERT and DOTTIE: {As Thorndyke is now turning around and is looking at them with a really serious look as he is pointing a finger at them and is stating in a serious voice}: "What do you say folks, let's put a little life in the party!?"

BERTRAM, CAVANAUGH, GERT, and MYRTLE to THORNDYKE: {As they are now looking at Thorndyke with happy smiles as they are stating to him gleeful uniso voices}: "Okay!"

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE: {As Bertram is now looking at Thorndyke with a gleeful look as he is now stating to him in a really cheerful voice}: "Okay Pal, do your stuff!"

{THORNDYKE}: "I WANT TO GO BACK TO MY LITTLE HOME IN DIXIE:" {SONG AND DANCE ROUTINE START}: {TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY}:

{THORNDYKE SINGING VERSE ONE}: "I wanna go back to my little home in Dixie. Hot-shots; Heehee-heehee-heehee-heehee!" {As Thorndyke was singing his little line we were seeing him doin a side to side shuffle dane as he is now tapping around in three circles and then ending up by doing a vigourous high kick forwards and then a sideways dance and is swaying at his hips as he is now kneeling in front of Horace}: "Razz-ma-tazz, hunha?" {Now we are seeing Thorndyke standing up and giving Horace a quizzical look as Horace is now giving Thorndyke back an ugly and mean and bug-eyed look}:

{THORNDYKE SINGING VERSE TWO}: "I wanna be there before my Mammie's jubilee, a rum-tuma-tee-tumta-hospa-ta-tum!" {During this verse Thorndyke was doing a march dance and is saluting and then ending up by doing a sway from side to side dance}:

{THORNDYKE}: "I WANT TO GO BACK TO MY LITTLE HOME IN DIXIE:" {SONG AND DANCE ROUTINE END}: {TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY}:

While Thorndyke was doing his second vers we were seeing Horace giving him a really mean look in dissapproval, while Mother was sitting at a desk putting letters into envelopes as she was liking it and is now giving a small gleeful smile.

HORACE to THORNDYKE: {As Horace is looking at Thorndyke evily and is stating to him in an evil voice}: "Huntz-hentza-huntz-hentza-huntz-hentza.!

THORNDYKE to HORACE: {As Thorndyke is now standing there with his hands on his waist and is looking at Horace with a mischievous look and is stating to him mischievously}: "Oh, you don't like 'Coolin', ehy? Then let's dance!"

THORNDYKE to BERTRAM, MYRTLE, CAVANAUGH and GERT: {As Thorndyke is now waving his hands at them in glee as he has a happy look on his face as he is stating to them in a happy voice}: "Come on fellas, let's dance!"

BERTRAM, CAVANAUGH, MYRTLE, and GERT to THORNDYKE: {As they are now in a happy state and are saying to him in gleeful unison voice}: "Okay, let's dance!"

THORNDYKE to BERTRAM and CAVANAUGH: {As the three of them are now in a happy state as they are now in the process of moving the dining table}: "All right, help me with this table will ya, all right, all right, down the line, here we go, down the line, that's it, that's it fellas!"

CAVANAUGH to BERTRAM and THORNDYKE: {As the table is now becoming a tad heavy and he is stating in a tired voice}: "Pray for Mary Royal!" {Here we got a quick glimpse on Dottie as she is sitting on a stool in the corner and is tossing paper shreddings to the floor as she now has a disgusted look on her face about what is going on}:

Now we are seeing Bertram, Thorndyke, and Cavanaugh rolling up a runner style of a rug in more preparations for dancing as they are now in the process of rolling up Horace in it.

We are now hearing everyone laughing about Horace being in the rug as we are now seeing Mother/Mother-In-Law sitting at her desk with a huge smile of happiness on her face as she is thinking it it funny to see her Son-In-Law Horace in the rugh.

Horace is now un-covering himself with the rug as he is sitting there on the floor with a really disgusted look on his puss.

THORNDYKE to BERTRAM: {As Thorndyke is now looking at Bertram with a really mischievous look as he is asking Bertram in a really mischievous voice}: "How do you start the piano?"

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE: {As Bertram is standing there smoking a stogie and has a mischievous look on is face as he is stating to Thorndyke in a serious voice}: "Oh, that's complicated, you gotta hold your finger on the front door-bell!"

THORNDYKE to CAVANAUGH: {As Throndyke is now looking at Cavanaugh with a serious look as he is pointing to the front door and is stating Cavanaugh in a mischievous voice}: "Hey, Cavanaugh, go outside and hold your finger on the front door-bell, for a little while, I'll relieve you later!"

CAVANAUGH to THORNDYKE: {As Cavanaugh is now begruggingly obeying Thorndyke as he is stating to in a low voice}: "All right!"

We are now seeing Cavanaugh now in a happy mood as he is going out for door-bell duty.

THORNDYKE to BERTRAM: {As Thorndyke is now marching happily and has a really happy look on his face as he is stating to Bertram in a really happy voice}: "The olde, Razz-ma-tazz!"

Now we are seeing Bertram happily skipping to one side of the Parlour as Thorndyke is now merrily skipping and snapping his fingers in joy as he is now approaching Dottie in happiness.

THORNDYKE to DOTTIE: {As he is now approaching Dottie with his hands on his waist as he has a happy look on his face and is asking her in a low and polite voice}: "Do you Turkey-Trot?"

DOTTIE to THORNDYKE: {As she is still sitting there still mad at the shannigans that is going on as she is stating to him in a mad and polite voice}: "No, I, no, I don't really care to, no!"

THORNDYKE to DOTTIE: {As he is looking at her with a really happy look and is asking her in a really polite voice}: "Oh, come on!"

As Thorndyke was asking Dottie to do the 'Turkey-Trot' we got a quick glimpse on Horace with a really mad look as he is now finally getting up from underneath the rug.

Now we are on the front porch as Cavanaugh is now in the process of starting the piano up with the door buzzar.

We are now hearing the piano playing as Thorndyke is now approaching Dottie and is starting to take her hand in a dance. As Dottie has mad look of protest on her face as she is fighting him to not have to dance with him.

DOTTIE to THORNDYKE: {As she is sitting there with a slight happy, but mainly a mad look on her face as Thorndyke is now taking her hand and she is still denying his dance invitation in a polite voice}: "No, I, no, I really don't want to, no I really don't want to dance, no, really!"

THORNDYKE to DOTTIE: {As he is now happily doing a skip style of a dance with her as he has a happy look on his face and is saying to her in a low and mischievous voice as they are dancing, him happily, Dottie in protest from side to side across the Parlour floor}: "Come on, hey, I was taken up for a Katty once, come on!"

We are now seeing Thorndyke dancing with Dottie as Myrtle is now dancing with Horace and Bertram is dancing with Gert as they are now doing a quick two-step of a dance and are twirlling each other around in circles and then are doing a slight sway from side to side.

Here we are seeing Thorndyke now bumping into Horace and Myrtle as he is now slightly causing them to lose their ba-lances.

THORNDYKE to DOTTIE: {As he is now happily doing a two step circle dance}: "Okay, honey, that's the stuff, am I too quick for you?" {Dottie here now has a happy look on her face as she is now enjoying herself}:

BERTRAM to GERT: {As he is now doing a Rumba style of a dance with her as he is happily looking at her and is saying to her gleefully}: "Thorndyke told me you were a High-Class doll, can you do the 'Mushroom Hop'?" {Here we are seeing Horace with a really mad look on his face as he is now dancing with Myrtle passed Bertram as he and Bertram are now glarring at one another in meaness as Bertram was poking fun at Horace once again}:

Horace and Myrtle are now dancing a waltz style of a dance along side of Gert and Bertram as Bertram is now having a mischievous ball making fun of Horace and his mushroom life.

BERTRAM to GERT: {As the two of them are happy waltz-swaying from side to side as he has a really mean look on his face as he is stating to her mischievously}: "Don't mind dat Brother-In-Law of mine, he's got a 'Mushroom-Norousious'!"

GERT to BERTRAM: {As she is still happily dancing with his as she is asking him in a questionable voice}: "What's that?"

BERTRAM to GERT: {As he is still happily dancing with her as he has now given Horace a quick and evil glance}: "He's got mushrooms on the brain!"

All the while that Bertram was dancing with Gert, Horace was shuffle dancing with Myrtle along side of them as he was glarring at Bertram evily as Horace has now said in a hurtful voice about Bertram's previous remark ------ "Enhya-enhya-enhya-enhya!"

Everyone is now happily dancing with one another as we are now seeing Mother sitting at her desk with a really happy look on her face as she is now swaying from side to side in time with the music as she is also having a good time!

THORNDYKE to DOTTIE: {As the two of them are happily quick-stepping it with on another as he is stating to her in a low and mischievous voice}: "Have you made the call kid? You look all right!"

We got a quick glimpse of Horace as he is now doing a staggering style of a dance and is stumblling all over the floor with Myrtle as he has a really bug-eyed and mean look on his face.

We are now out on the front porch where we are seeing Cavanaugh still holding the door buzzar as he is in a really happy mood as he is now swaying his right arm from side to side as he is tap dancing forwards and backwards and is kicking his legs out and in and shuffling from side to side as he is still doing his shuffle dance and is now lighting up himself a 'COFFIN NAIL'.

We have now finished dancing as we are seeing everyone sitting at a lovely dark cherry wood dining table with dark cherry wood chairs with a floral pattern chair cushions the table has on it a really lovely white lace table covering with white lace napkins, cut crystal dinnerware and sterling silver cutlery. While everyone is enjoying their grub and the piano concert they have now completely forgotten about poor Cavanaugh still out on the front porch a obediently providing it for them as they are not realising that they had totally forgotten about the Poor and Obedient Cavanaugh.

Dottie and Mother/Mother-In-Law are sitting at the table very politely and with mean looks on their faces as Bertram, Thorndyke, Myrtle, and Gert are now pounding their spoons on the table in a demanding state for their evening grub.

We are now out in the kitchen where we are seeing Chef Horace dressed in a white apron and Chef's cap and is holding a stack of dessert-sized china plates as we are seeing their Maid, Bella, dressed in a black knee-length dress with white lace cuffs on the short sleeves, a white lace apron and a little white caplet on her head.

HORACE to their MAID BELLA: {As he is standing there holding the chinaware and is looking at her with a really worried look on his face as she is now putting the soup into the soup tureen as he is stating to her in a really worried voice}: "Eta-eta-eta-eta-eta-eta-eta-eta; heyha-heyha-heyha-heyha-heyha-heyha-heyha-heyha; becareful!"

MAID BELLA to HORACE: {As she is standing there holding onto the very hot soup rureen and has a hurtful look on her face as she is stating to him in a stuttering voice}: "It's h-h-h-h-h-h-hot, it's very h-h-h-h-h-h-hot!"

We are now seeing Horace standing in the kitchen still holding the chinaware as he now has a look on his face about the Maid that says, 'yeah, you 'TITMOUSE' if you have just cooked it, deffinately it will be hot!

We now got another quick glance on the now getting tired and very obedient Cavanaugh as he is still providing their dinner music as everyone is now chowing down their grub having a good time and no one has noticed that poor Cavanaugh is missing.

Horace and Bella are now approaching the dining room as they are now being greeted by some very rude and surely guests.

BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM to his BROTHER-IN-LAW HORACE, and BELLA: {As Bertram has a really mad look on his face as he is now shouting wickedly at Horace and Bella}: "The service here is terrible!"

Horace has now lovingly and sweetly given his Wife Dottie a kiss on her cheek to let her know tht he really appreciates her putting up with her Mother, Bertram, and Bertram's strange company.

Wife Dottie has now given her Husband a slightly happy, but yet mad smile back.

Horace is now in the process of putting bread dishes to everyone, except Thorndyke in which he has thrown one at him.

THORNDYKE to HORACE: {As we are seeing Thorndyke sitting there with a mad look on his face as he has his napkin tucked under his chin as a bibbie and Thorndyke is shouting at Horace in a really mad voice}: "I think the soivice is great!"

SON-IN-LAW/HUSBAND HORACE to MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW, WIFE DOTTIE, SON-IN-LAW BERTRAM, MYRTLE, and THORNDYKE: {As Horace is standing at the front of the table and has a really happy look on his face as he has now kissed his hand and then raised it in the aire as he is stating in a happy voice with a really poor French Accent}: "Aha, the soup is delicious!"

We are now in the process of seeing everyone sitting there and wrachette-jawing as they are now devouring the soup. {Plus they are still enjoying their piano recital as they are not noticing it, as poor, tiered, obedient, Cavanaugh is still on their front porch holding onto the door buzzar}:

THORNDYKE to BERTRAM: {As Thorndyke is happily devouring his chow and is asking Bertram in a serious state}: Where's the nearest betting tracks?"

BERTRAM to THORNDYKE: {As Bertram is answering Thorndyke back with a serious look on his face and he is stating to Thorndyke in a garbbled voice as he has a mouthful of grub}: "Somewhere down around Horance Stadium!"

The Ladies were talking about themselves as they are now getting better acquainted with one another.

We are now hearing all talking coming to a screeching halt as we are now hearing the crashing of Chinaware in the kitchen.

Horace has now dutifully walked out of the kitchen with a really sad and hurt look on his face as he is now collecting what chinaware is left which are the bread dishes and the saucers and the soup bowls.

Mother/Mother-In-Law and Dottie have now given Horace really evil looks as Horace is now returning the favours back to the.

We are now back int the kitchen where we are seeing their Maid Bella picking up the busted dishes and wipping up the floor as Horace has now entered in with a really sad look on his face as he is still holding the bread plates, saucers, and soup bowls.

MAID BELLA to HORACE: {As she is looking at him with a really hurt look as she is saying to him in a stuttering and crying voice}: "I'm s-s-s-s-s-s so, s-s-s-s-s-s sorry, s-s-s-s-s-s so, s-s-s-s-s-s sorry!"

Horace has now given her a pat on her back to let her know that there is nothing to worry about as he smiles at her kindly as Horace is now in the process of serving up the tossed salad.

WIFE DOTTIE to BROTHER-IN-LAW BERTRAM, MYRTLE, GERT, THORNDYKE, and MOTHER: {As she now has a really polite look on her face as she is now politely excusing herself from the dining table}: "I think I better see what's wrong, just a minute."

Dottie is now getting up and is now entering into the kitchen quarters to see what in the world is going in there in a state of worry.

THORNDYKE to GERT, BERTRAM, and MYRTLE: {As Thorndyke is still sitting there with his napkin in his neck as he looking at Gert and then the rest of them with a mischievous look as he is using a mischievous voice}: "We should of had some Chow Mein!"

We are now getting a shot of the front porch, it is now totally dark, a full moon is in shine as we are now seeing the stupid, bedraggled, tiered, obedient Cavanaugh still providing their dinner music as he is still holding onto the door buzzar.

Wife Dottie is now entering their kitchen as we are seeing Chef Horace happily putting mushroom gravy on a beef roast.

WIFE DOTTIE to her HUSBAND HORACE: {As she is looking at him with a really ugly and petrified look as she is pointing a finger at the mushrooms and is shouting at him in a really mean and petrified voice}: "Don't tell me, you're not gonna serve those things to our guests?"

CHEF HORACE to his WIFE DOTTIE: {As he is standing there holding onto the gravy pot and ladle as he has a really sad look on his face as he is stating to her in a sad and low voice}: "Why? These mushrooms are delicious!"

WIFE DOTTIE to CHEF HORACE: {As she still has an ugly and petrified look on her face and is shouting at him wickedly}: "I know, but this afternoon, Virginia got them mixed-up with the toadstools!"

CHEF HORACE to his WIFE DOTTIE: {As he is looking at her with a really sad and serious look as he is stating to her in a reassuring voice}: "Oh, but I'm positive they're mushrooms!"

WIFE DOTTIE to CHEF HORACE: {As she is standing there with her arms crossed as she is giving him a really mean glare as she is asking him in a worried and questionable voice}: "What makes you so competent?"

CHEF HORACE to his WIFE DOTTIE: {As he is looking at her with a really positive look as he is stating to her in a reassuring voice}: "Because I fed a plate of them to Tootsie!"

WIFE DOTTIE to CHEF HORACE: {As she is looking at him with a really disgusted and worried look as she is now shouting at him in a really wicked voice}: "Fed them to Tootsie!"

CHEF HORACE to his WIFE DOTTIE: {As he is looking at her with a really positive look as he is stating to her in a mean voice}: "Yes, look at her, she's all right!" {Here we are now seeing Tootsie enjoying her plate of steamed mushrooms and gravy}:

WIFE DOTTIE to CHEF HORACE: {As she is looking at him with a really worried look as she is stating to him in a really worried voice}: "Well, I hope you're right!"

CHEF HORACE to his WIFE DOTTIE: {As he is looking at her with a really mean look as he is shouting to her in a tongue-tied voice}: "When it comes to 'Rushrooms, ah, mush, ah, ah, rush--- mushrooms, I'm always right!"

WIFE DOTTIE to CHEF HORACE: {As she is giving him a really ugly scowl and is stating to him in a really ugly voice}: "Oh, you and your mushrooms!"

Dottie is now exiting out of the kitchen in a really disgusted state back into the dining quarters.

We are now back into the kitchen as we are getting a close-up on the beef roast as Chef Horace is now ladelling brown mushroom gravy all over it.

Here we go again, it has been at least another couple of hours as we are now on the front porch again it is pitch-black dark, the moon has dissapeared, as we are seeing the too obedient to be true Cavanaugh leaning against the front door as he is still faithfully completing his door buzzar duties providing them their dinner music, now he has given up the ghost as he is now falling flat on his face on the front porch in total exhaustion.

We are now back in the dining quarters where we are now seeing the chinaware of all the guests completely cleaned as they have now chowed down the very lovely beef roast with brown mushroom gravy, smashed potatoes, and mixed veggies and rolls.

We are now on Thorndyke as he is happily eating his last bite of plain mushrooms off of his knife with a really contented look on his face. Now he is taking his dinner roll and is mopping up the remaining drippings of gravy and is happily enjoying his gravy sopped roll.

THORNDYKE to HORACE: {As he has a really happy and contented look o his face as he is stating to Horace in a bread filled mouth garbbled voice}: "Gee, those mushrooms are good!"

We are now seeing their Maid Bella running out of the kitchen into the dining quarters in a total spastic mood.

MAID BELLA to DOTTIE: {As she is now using a spastic and crying voice and has a really worried and hurt look on her face}: "Oh, Mame, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, Mame!"

DOTTIE to MAID BELLA: {As Dottie is looking at her with a polite and worried look as she is responding back to her in a really carrying voice}: "YES!?"


CONCLUSION OF "MUSHROOMS:"


MAID BELLA to DOTTIE and HER GUESTS: {As Bella has a really petrified look on her face as she is stating in a really crying and petrified voice}: "Something terrible has happened, Tootsie is dead!"

MOTHER to DOTTIE, GERT, BERTRAM, MYRTLE, HORACE, and THORNDYKE: {As she is looking at them with a horrified look and is stating to them in a really panicking and crying voice}: "Tootsie's dead!"

Here we are seeing everyone thinking that the 'MUSHROOMS' that Tootsie consumed were actually 'TOADSTOOLS?'

WIFE DOTTIE to CHEF HORACE: {As she is so mad beyond the enth-degree as she is evily shouting at her husband}: "Oh, you, it's all your fault, I knew those weren't mushrooms, those were toadstools!"

We are now seeing everyone in a horrible state of freaking and panicking out as they are shouting to one another; {thinking that they consumed toadstools}; in panicking voices.

THORNDYKE, MOTHER, DOTTIE, GERT, MYRTLE, and BERTRAM to HORACE: {As they are looking at him with an evil look as they are now shouting at him in a really panicking and unison voices}: "TOADSTOOLS?!"

MOTHER to HORACE: {As she is looking at him with a really scared anbug-eyed look as she is shouting at him in a really panicking voice}: "Call a doctour!"

THORNDYKE to HORACE: {As he too has a really scared look on his face as he is shouting to Horace in a panicking voice}: "Call an ambulance!"

WIFE DOTTIE to her HUSBAND HORACE: {As she has a really scared and petrified look on her face as she is shouting at him in a crying and panicking voice}: "Call a hospital!"

We are now seeing Mother with a really sick look on her face as she is now getting up to go to the bathroom as she is trying to 'redistribute her bisquits'.

Next we are seeing Thorndyke with his head on the table as he is now moaning in a horrible state of sickness.

Horace is now in a state of horrified fear and panic as he is now rushing to the telephone to summons emergency help!

HORACE to the TELEPHONE OPERATOR: {As he is now trying to get through to emergency help as he is saying to her in a really sick voice as he is now 'starting to experience' horrible stomach cramps from the effects of {THE SO CALLED}; toadstools}: "Main ------ 4, owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha; awha-awha-awha-awha-awha-awha-awha-awha; yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha!" {Horace has now fallen into a chair with a really sick look on his face as he is now passing out from the beginning effects of {SO CALLED} toadstool poisioning!}:

We are now back in the Library quarters where we are seeing everyone sitting in chairs in horrible different states of sickness as they are now going to recover from {SO CALLED} toadstool poisioning: {THANKS TO THE HELP OF THE DOOR KEEPER CAVANAUGH WHO CALLED THE PARAMEDICS}:

PARAMEDICS to DOTTIE: {As the Paramedics are looking at Dottie with really carrying looks as they are stating to her in really assuring voices}: "Don't worry, in a few days you will be on your feet, these Stomach Pumps always do the trick!"

DOTTIE to the PARAMEDICS: {As she is the only one that is the least sickest from the toadstool epedemic}: "Thank-you, Doctour!"

We are now seeing the Paramedics shaking their heads in you are welcome as they are now exiting.

We are now seeing a Library full of moaning and groaning very sick guests, some of them are laying on davenportes, some on what chairs are there, while the rest of them are sprawlled on the floor.

DOTTIE to her MOTHER: {As her Mother is leaning on her shoulder in a "Sick" state as Dottie has a really carrying look on her face as she is stating to her "sick" Mother in a really carrying voice}: "Poor Tootsie, was a martyr, she gave her life that we might live!"

DOTTIE to BERTRAM, HORACE, THORNDYKE, MYRTLE, GERT, and HORACE: {As Dottie is looking at them with a really sad look as she is stating to them in a really sad and carrying voice}: "And, I only think it's fitting that we bring her in and pay our last respects!"

MOTHER to DAUGHTER DOTTIE: {As Mother is still laying on Dottie's left shoulder with a "really sick" look on her face as she is saying to Dottie in a "sick tone" of a voice}: "Yes, honey!"


"MUSHROOMS" {ENDING}:


DOTTIE to their MAID BELLA: {As Dottie is now shouting at the kitchen door loudly}: "Oh, Bella?!"

MAID BELLA to DOTTIE: {As she is now entering in, in a horrible state of fear and panic as she is now stating to her in a really crying and panicking voice}: "Yes, Mame?"

Here we are still seeing Dottie and everybody else thinking that Tootsie still died from "Toadstool Poisoning" as Dottie wants Tootsie to be brought in and they can say goodbye to Tootsie.

Here we are now learning that Tootsie DID NOT DIE FROM TOADSTOOL POISIONING, but rather from becoming a "ROAD PIZZA!"

DOTTIE to MAID BELLA: {As Dottie still has her Mother laying on her left shoulder and is looking at Bella with a sad look, and is asking her in a low and carrying voice}: "Bring Tootsie in, we want to pay our respects to her!"

MAID BELLA to DOTTIE: {As Bella has a really scared look on her face as she is stating to Dottie in a really scared and crying voice}: "You, wouldn't want to see Tootsie."

DOTTIE to MAID BELLA: {As Dottie is looking at Bella with a really dazed look and is asking her in a really low, carrying and questionable voice}: "Why not?"

MAID BELLA to DOTTIE: {As Bella is so scared and panicking she is answering back to Dottie in a totally crying voice}: "When the truck ran over her, it ruined her!"


"MUSHROOMS" {FADE OUT}:


We are now seeing all of the guests as they are sitting up and looking at Dottie with mad looks on their faces as they are thinking that we went through the pain of having our stomachs pumped for now reason. They are now becoming happy that they are all right as they are now falling back to the floor, their chairs, and davenportes in states of happiness, but yet, what next, what is going to happen to us now.


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