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"Train leaving on Track 4, all aboard!" - Larry (HOT SCOTS, THE, 1948)

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Average Rating:     [7.07/10]   12 votes

STONE AGE ROMEOS

The Stooges try for a $25,000 reward offered by a museum, for scientific evidence that cavemen still exist. They return from an "expedition" with a film of caveman life, which is actually the Stooges and other actors in disguise.



A remake, with stock footage, of I'M A MONKEY'S UNCLE (1948).

Featuring
Moe, Larry and Shemp
Release Date
June 02, 1955
Studio
Columbia
Production Type
Short Subject
Duration
15.75 min.
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Cast Members   Production Crew

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Production Notes   (3)
Working Title(s):   CAVED IN CAVEMEN
Prod. No.:   4229
Shooting Days:   1 days   From: 1954-08-25   To: 1954-08-25

Stooge Mayhem   (Avg. 2.50)
Face Slaps: 7 Eye Pokes: 2 Head Bonks: 1 Pastry Thrown: 0

Stooge Quotes   (3)
  • "Here's the last known location of the dinosaur." "Ah, c'mon, she's on television. I always watch Dinah Shore."
    (Moe and Larry)

  • "We explored the South Pole." "And the North Pole." "And even a telegraph pole." "Shut up tadpole."
    (Moe, Shemp & Larry)

  • "To verify our theory would require the services of explorers who are indeed intrepid!" "That's us! We're decrepit!"
    (Emil Sitka & Shemp)


Stooge Goofs   (2)
  • Facial Expression Change
    After Moe says â€Å"Shutup, tadpole!” and bops Larry in the head, Larry grimaces in pain and holds his head, then the camera cuts to the next shot and Larry's suddenly smiling and has his hands to his side.

  • Unintentional Knocking Over
    After Larry plays checkers with the rocks, he places his elbow on the table and accidentally knocks over a picture.


Stooge Routines   (10)

Stooge Trivia   (0)

No trivia have been logged for this episode.


Audio Files   (0)

No audio files are available for this episode.


Video File   (Y)


Transcript   (Y)

Transcription by Moron4392:  

"STONE AGE ROMEOS:" {SHEMP, LARRY, AND MOE}: {SHORT SUBJECT}: {COLUMBIA STUDIOS}: RELEASED ON: JUNE 02, 1955:

{REWORK OF}: "I'M A MONKEY'S UNCLE:" {SHEMP, LARRY, AND MOE}: {SHORT SUBJECT}: {COLUMBIA}: RELEASED ON: OCTOBER 07, 1948:


We open "STONE AGE ROMEOS" where we are seeing a red brick building with a black coloured sign with a grey bevelled inlay sign with four grey nails in each corner of the sign that reads as follows:


MUSEUM
OF
NATURAL HISTORY
B. BOPPER
CURATOR


We are now inside of the Museum in the Curators Office that is decorated with along a back wall with two pedstals with statues on them and on that sam wall there are five photo-shots, plus two book shelvings with books. Berber style grey coloured carpeting. One window with a closed Venitian blind plus a rust and black stipped burlap window dressing. The Curators desk is well cluttered with a blotter that has a map on it. A telephone, clay pots, a skull, bones, stones a filled pens and pencils cup. A name banner, and a boomerang. Plus there are a couple of black cane back chairs, and an end table with a lamp on it. A black leather davenporte. Plus along an east wall there is one more pedstal with a statue on it plus three more photo-shots.

We are now seeing the 'CURATOR, MR. B. BOPPER; {EMIL SITKA}: sitting at his desk; {He is dressed in a dark bleu suit, white dress shirt, bleu and white stripped tie, and black dress shoes}. As he is now looking at SHEMP: {Dressed in a black coloured wool suit, white dress shirt, black and white stripped tie, and black dress shoes}: LARRY: {Dressed in a medium grey coloured wool suit, white dress shirt, grey and white stripped tie, and black dress shoes}: and MOE: {Dressed in a grey plaid suit jacket, dark grey coloured trousers, white dress shirt, grey and white stripped tie, and black dress shoes}. Plus Shemp, Larry, and Moe are wearing black moustaches, and black, huge, fluffy beards.

MR. B. BOPPER to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: {As he is sitting at his desk with a really serious look on his face as he is stating to them in a really serious tone of a voice}: "And, a, ehma, and my Board of Directours, and I are convinced that some where on this Earth, there is still existence, persoms of the primitive stone age. To verify our theory, we'll require the services of explorers who are indeed intrepid."

SHEMP to MR. B. BOPPER: {As Shemp is looking at him with a really mischievous look and is using hand gestures to support himself is stating to him in a really mischievous voice}: "That's us, decrepit!"

Moe and Larry are now looking at Shemp with really mean looks on their faces.

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is looking at Shemp with a really evil look on his face as he is saying to Shemp in a really mean voice as Moe is now boinking Shemp on his bugle}: "Shut-up Chipmunk."

MR. B. BOPPER to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: {As Mr. Bopper is still sitting at his desk with a really serious look on his face as he is stating to them in a serious tone of a voice}: "This, as I was saying, is a job for real explorers."

MOE to MR. B. BOPPER: {As Moe is pointing a finger at him and is looking at him with a serious look on his face and is using a serious voice}: "Well, we're your men, Mr. Bopper, we've explored the South Pole."

SHEMP to MR. B. BOPPER: {As Shemp is looking at him mischievously and is stating to him in a mischievous tone of a voice}: "And the North Pole!"

LARRY to MR. B. BOPPER: {As Larry is now putting his 'Two Cents' in as he is looking at Mr. Bopper with a serious look and is using a mischievous tone of a voice}: "And even, the Telegraph Pole."

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is looking at Mr. B. Bopper with a serious look as he is now reaching behind himself and is taking his fist and is socking Larry hard on his forehead and is saying to Larry in a devious voice}: "Shut-up, Tadpole."

MR. B. BOPPER to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: {As he is still sitting at his desk, with a smirky smile on his face and is using a really serious tone of a voice}: "This map shows a portion of the Earth that is almost unknown. We believe you will find the Cave Men some where in this area; {Here we are seeing Mr. B. Bopper taking his finger and is drawing a circle around the centre of the map}:

As we are hearing Mr. B. Bopper telling Shemp, Larry, and Moe about the map and the possible where-abouts of Cave Men, we are now seeing his 'SECRETARY': {BARBARA BARTAY}: walking in; {She is dressed in a black knee-length dress, with a black belt and a black short sleeved jacket, flesh coloured stockins', and black high heeled shoes, a black wrist clock on her left wrist and black spectacles}. She is also holding onto some papers.

SECRETARY to MR. B. BOPPER: {As she is looking at him with a polite look and is stating to him in polite tone of a voice}: "Excuse me, Mr. Bopper, the board is waiting!"

MR. B. BOPPER to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: {As he is now standing up from his desk and is exiting his office to attend the board meeting is saying to them in a really polite voice}: "Oh, pardon me, gentlemen, I'll be back shortly."

We are now seeing Mr. B. Bopper exiting his office for his board meeting.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe is looking at them with a serious look and is saying to them in a serious tone of a voice as he is now clapping and rubbing his hands together as they are approaching the desk and is looking at the map}: "Well, now, let's see, let me see, let's study this map, carefully, very carefully."


MAP OF JERKOLA:

{Starting in the upper right corner}:

FERBLONGENT; {Under neath and a tad to your left}:
MISH MOSH: {Next to}:
PISH POSH:

{Under neath "PISH-POSH" working straight down}:

HE LAND:
SHE LAND:
THEY LAND:
WE LAND:

EUBOPIA:

SKULL ISLANDS; {A huge skull with a really ugly look on his face and cross bones under neath}:

{Under "MISH-MOSH" straight down}:

BAY OF RUM:
DROP DEAD SEA:
RIGGA MORTIS;
{Shaped like a coffin}:

{TAD TO THE LEFT}::

STRAIGHTS OF RYE:
ISLE-LIQUOUR:
YULE-LIQUOUR:

{DEAD CENTRE OF THE MAP: Top Down}:

BOURBON RIVER:
GIVA-DAM;
{Tad to your right}:
SCHMOW LAKE; {Tad to the left of "BOURBON RIVER"}:
MEGOBOOZIA;
{Tad to the left of "GIVA-DAM}:
WING-DING;
{Left of "MEGOBOZZIA"}:

{Under neath "MEGOBOZZIA" looks like a person extending his arms and hands out like he is grabbing something}:

"GUNGA-GIN!"

{NEXT TO "GUNGA GIN"}:

DRINKA-GIN:

{UNDER NEATH "GUNGA GIN"};

CANNABEER:
HANG GOVER:
TAIL-LAND;
{Shaped like a dogs tail}:

LEFT SIDE OF THE MAP:

SPECIFIC OCEAN:
CRESCENT ISLAND;
{Shaped like a Crescent Moon}:
OOMPHOLA MOUNTAINS:
LOOK SEA:
HOT SEA:
TOT SEA:
SEALON;
{Shaped like a Sea-Lion}:

END OF THE MAP OF JERKOLA:


MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As they have now thoroughly studied the map as Moe is saying to them in a really serious voice and with a serious look on his face}: "Now, listen fellas, this is quite a large territory, we're gonna have to square it up into sections."

Here we are seeing Shemp, Larry, and Moe taking black drawing crayons and are drawing lines haphazardly in all directions all over the map.

SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: {In unison using serious tones of voices as they are having fun drawing lines on the map and with looks of mischief on their faces}: "Right, there we go, there we go, here we go, right there, and there, to the right, to the left, and then to the right, here, here, we are done, here." {LARRY: "Where?"}:

We are now seeing Shemp and Moe with happy looks on their faces as they are now brushing their hands together as Larry has a really gleeful look on his face as he has now clapped his hands together.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe now has a really determined look on his face as he is using a serious tone of a voice as he is now taking a rock and is placing it at the bottom right of the map}: "Now, we'll start here!"

SHEMP to LARRY and MOE: {As Shemp is now in the process of placing a rock in the upper left corner of the map and is saying in a serious tone of a voice}: "Down here, we travell by boat!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe has a serious look on his face and is stating in a really serious voice as he has now placed a third rock on the bottom centre portion of the map}: "And, we'll base ourselves right here!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As he is now once again stating in a serious tone of a voice and with a serious look on his face as Moe is now placing a fourth rock dead centre on the map}: "And, from there, we'll travell across the desert sand by pogo stick!"

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE: {As Larry now has a really mischievous look on his face and is using a really mischievous tone of a voice}: "Boy, did you guys leave yourselves wide-open!"

Here we are seeing Larry in a really mischievous state as he is now picking up a rock and is playing chequers with it as he is now making a four jump move.

LARRY to SHEMP, and MOE: {As Larry is now leaning his left arm on the desk and is resting his head on it and with a really mischievous look on his face is saying to them as he is slightly bobbing his head from side to side in a mischievous voice}: "I'm in a kings row, crown me!"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is now picking up another rock and has a really evil look on his face as he is saying to Larry in a mean voice}: "With, pleasure!"

Here we are seeing Moe taking the rock and is tossing it hard and is hitting Larry on his forehead with it.

Larry now has a really hurtful look on his face and he is rubbing his sore forehead with his left hand as he is saying in pain; 'Owha-owha-owha-owha.'

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is looking at Larry with a really devilish look and is saying to him in a mean tone of a voice}: "Why don't you stop clowing around!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe is now looking at the map once again and is pointing his finger dead centre and is saying to them in a really serious voice}: "Now, right here, right here is the last where-abouts of the dinosaur!"

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE: {As Larry has now taken a few steps backwards and has a really mischievous look on his face as he is saying in a mischievous tone of voice}: "Go on, she's on television. I always watch 'DINAH SHORE'.

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is thoroughly disgusted with Larry as Moe is taking the palm of his right hand and is smacking Larry square on his forehead causing Larry to loose ba-lance as Larry is falling against a wall}: "You do, ehy?"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is looking at Moe mischievously and is using a mischievous voice}: "Yes!"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is so disgusted with Larry as Moe is looking at Larry with a really disgusted look and is shouting to Larry in a really disguted voice}: "Why don't you stop clowing now, stop clowning around now!"

We are now seeing Moe and Larry involved in a fist-a-cuff with one another in utter disgust.

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is now shoving Moe away in utter hurt and disgust as Larry is shouting to Moe in a really hurtful voice}: "Oh, leave me alone, will ya?"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is looking at Larry with a worried look on his face as he is asking Larry in a really worried tone of a voice}: "What's wrong with you, today?"

All the while that Larry and Moe were involved in their tit-for-tat we were seeing Shemp standing there looking at the two of them with a really worried and concerned look on his face.

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry now has a really serious look on his face as he is stating to Moe in a really worried voice}: "I don't know, my ear is stopped up!"

SHEMP to LARRY: {As Shemp is now approaching Larry with a really mischievous look and is stating to Larry in a really miscievous voice}: "Wait a minute, I'll fix it!"

We are now in the process of seeing Larry with a really dazed look on his face as Shemp is now in the process of pulling some roping out from Larry's right ear.

SHEMP to LARRY: {As Shemp now has a really worried look on his face as he is saying to Larry in a really worried voice as Shemp has now flinched a tad}: "Hey, your brains came out!"

LARRY to SHEMP: {As Larry is now taking the roping from SHem with a really worried look on his face as he is stating to Shemp in a really mischievous tone of a voice}: "Oh no, I forgot. I put that string in, so the wind will not blow the dust in my ear."

Here we are now seeing that Larry's string idea is a totaly bummer.

SHEMP to LARRY: {As Shemp is now looking at Larry with a really carrying look and is asking Larry in a really carrying tone of a voice}: "Oh, well, how does it feel now?"

LARRY to SHEMP: {As Larry is now looking at Shemp with a really worried look and is saying to Shemp in a really hurtful tone of a voice}: "Still stopped up!"

SHEMP to LARRY: {As Shemp is now pointing a finger at Larry in care and with a carrying look on his face says to Larry in a really carrying tone of voice}: "Just a minute!"

Here we are seeing Shemp blowing in Larry's right ear as we are now seeing dust exiting out of Larry's left ear and is now totally covering Moe's face with a white cloud of dust.

SHEMP to LARRY: {As Shemp has now finished blowing the dust from Larry's ears is asking Larry in a really carrying state}: "How was that?"

LARRY to SHEMP: {As Larry now has a look of glee on his face as he is stating to Shemp in a really happy tone of a voice}: "Pretty good!"

We are now seeing Larry flinching in fear as he has now noticed Moe with a really mean look on his face as Moe is still covered with the white dust.

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is looking at Moe with a deviou look and is asking Moe in a worried and questionable tone of a voice}: "What happened to you?"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is still covered with Larry's white brain dust with a really evil look on his face as he is saying to Larry in a mean tone of a voice}: "That's the dust off of your brain!"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry now has a smirky smile on his face as he is stating to Moe in a really mischievous tone of a voice}: "What you need is a windshield wipper!"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is now mad at Larry beyond the enth-degree and is saying to Larry in a really mean tone of a voice as he is now giving Larry an eyepoke}: "What you'll need is an eye shade!"

We are now seeing Shemp looking at Larry as Larry now has his arms extended and his eyes closed with a really hurtful look as Moe is now taking his handkerchief and is wiping Larry's dust from his face.

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE: {As Larry still has his eyes shut and has a really hurt look on his face as he is saying in a really hurtful tone of a voice}: "Yeowh, I can't see, I can't see!"

SHEMP and MOE to LARRY: {As Shemp and Moe are now looking at Larry with a really worried look on their faces and are asking Larry in unison with worried voices}: "What's the matter!?"

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE: {As Larry is standing there bobbing his head from side to side with a really mischievous grin on his face and is saying to them in a mischievous voice}: "I got my eyes closed!"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is still wiping the dust from his face as he has a really wicked look and is saying to Larry in a really mean tone of a voice as he is now slapping Larry hard on the back of his head with the palm of his right hand}: "Get out of here! Go on, go on, get over there!"

We are now seeing Mr. B. Bopper walking back into his office complex as he has now completed his Board of Directours meeting at a fast pace as he is now holding out a business deal contract for them to sign.

MR. B. BOPPER to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: {As he has a really serious look on his face and is stating to them in a really serious tone of a voice}: "Gentlemen, you must start right away, we are prepared to spend fifty thousand dollars for the project, and if you bring back photographic and documentary evidence we will pay you an additional twenty-five thousand!"

We are see Moe, Shemp, and Larry standing in front of Mr. B. Bopper's dest with serious looks on their faces.

SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE to MR. B. BOPPER: {As Shemp, Larry, and Moe are looking at them with a serious look and is stating to him in a sing-song style or a voice}; {MOE FIRST: "It's a deal!"}: {LARRY SECOND: "It's a deal!"}: {SHEMP THIRD: "It's a deal!"}:

We are now seeing Moe taking the business deal contract from Mr. B. Bopper and is signing it as Moe is now passing it to Larry to sign.

SHEMP to LARRY, and MOE: {As Shemp is now taking his turn at trying to sign the contract has a really mischievous look on his face as he is saying to them in a really mischievous voice}: "Hurry up!"

SHEMP to LARRY: {As Shemp cannot get the cartridge ink pen to write as he is fidgeting with the part of the pen where ther cartridge as Shemp is also beating the butt of the pen against his paw}: "Wonder what's wrong with this."

Shemp is now pointing the pen in the direction of Moe as he is still trying to get it to work as Shemp is now sprayin Moe's face with a huge shower of ink. As Moe is now flinching in a state of madness.

SHEMP to MOE: {As Shemp now has a really hurtful look on his face as he is now approaching Moe in a really worried state as he is saying to Moe in a really apologetic voice}: "Oh, oh, it was an accident Moe, I'll clean you up, I'll clean you up!"

SHEMP to MR. B. BOPPER: {As Shemp is looking at him mischievously and is saying to him in a mischievous voice as Shemp has now taken from Mr. B. Bopper's front suit jacket pocket his handkerchief}: "Here, lend me this!"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is saying to Shemp in a wicked and slightly apologetic voice and with a devious look on his face}: "That's all right kid, think nothing of it. I know it was an accident. Say, I think you got a little ink on your tongue, let me see?"

SHEMP to MOE: {As Shemp is now sticking out his tongue for Moe to have a better look i saying to Moe in a really questionable voice{: "I have?"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is looking at Shemp mischievously and is using a mischievous voice}: "Yeah!"

We are now seeing Moe cutting Shemp's tongue with a gigantic pair of shears as he is also now grabbing Larry by his hair and is dragging them out of Mr. B. Bopper's office in utter disgust Shemp is yelling in utter pain; {"Ehay, ehay, ehay, ehay, ehay, ehay, ehay, ehay, ehay, ehay,}: as Larry is now shouting painfully; {'Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha'}.

The 'THREE GREAT EXPLORERS' are now on their way to prove the existence of cave men.

We are now seeing the 'THE THREE GREAT EXPLOERS' all dressed in khaki coloured knee-lenght shorts, kahki coloured short sleeved shirts, black belts, knee-length argyle socks, and are wearing pith helmets and brown hiking boots.

They are now completing their long, hot journey through the burning, rocky desert sands, with the sun a mid-tide in the skye as ther are now wiping persperation off of their faces. Larry is toting a pair of field glasses around his neck and a sack of grub. Shemp is their pack mule as he is toting three sets of bed roles, tine dinner-ware; {Cups, plates, saucers and eating utensils}. A long barrel gat, a bumper shoot, and a camera.

SHEMP to MOE and LARRY: {As the three of them are now stopping to take a breather as Shemp is saying to them in a serious voice}: "Man, it's hot!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe is now fanning himself with his pith helmet is saying to them in a really tiered voice and with a tiered look on his face}: "Oh, boy, my feet are killing me, I shoulda never left home!"

SHEMP and LARRY to MOE: {As they too have really tiered looks on their faces as they are now saying to Moe in unison in really tiered voices}: "Oh, oh, boy, oh, boy, are we tired."

We are now seeing Moe bending over to tie his boot string as Shemp is now starting to un-load his gear as he is now hitting Moe hard on his head with the butt of their gat.

SHEMP to MOE: {As Shemp now has a really worried look on his face as he is stating to Moe in a really apologetic voice}: "Oh, I'm sorry Moe, I didn't mean it, I am really sorry!"

We are now seeing Larry taking his turn at cracking Moe on his head as Larry is now taking their sack of grub off his shoulder and is cremating Moe's cocoanut with it.

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is now patting Moe on his shoulder and has a really hurtful look on his face as he is stating also in a really apologetic voice}: "Oh, I'm sorry, Moe, I didn't mean it!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe has a really mean look on his face and is shouting at them in a really wicked voice}: "What's the matter with you guys?"

MOE to LARRY: {As we are now seeing Moe looking at the distance with a dumbfounded look on his face as he is stating to Larry in a mischievous voice}: "Hey!"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is also looking in the distance with a dumbfounded look and is saying to Moe in a questionable voice}: "What?"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is still staring in the distance with a determined look on his face as he is stating to Larry in a serious tone of a voice}: "I see something, give me those binoculars."

We are now seeing Moe trying to take the field glasses from Larry as they are now cracking cocoanuts with one another.

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is now taking the field glasses off of around his neck with a disgusted look on his face as he is saying to Moe in a really disgusted tone of a voice}: "Here!"

Moe is now looking through the field glasses in utter amazement, as Larry is also looking out the distance in amazement.

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe has now flinched a tad and is stating to Larry in a really dazed tone of a voice}: "I see a dense forest, the trees are as thin as hairs. Great scot, there's a big bat in the forest, climbing amongst the trees, he's as big as an elephant. Boy, I hope he dont' fly over here. Boy, oh, boy!"

All the while that Moe was describing what he was seeing in the distance as he was all the while looking at the back of Larry's head as a fly was landing on the back of Larry's head.

As Moe was talking Larry had a really scared look on his face as we are seeing Shemp in a state of mischief as Shemp is now opening their bumper shoot and is putting it up over his head.

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe has now turned around and flinched a tad and has a worried look on his face as he is asking Shemp in a dazed and questionable voice}: "What's the idea?"

SHEMP to MOE: {As Shemp has a really mischievous look on his face as he is stating to Moe in a mischievous voice}: "In case it rains!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe is now looking through the field glasses once again at the back of Larry's head and is saying in a voice of wonderment}: "Boy, oh, boy, what a bat!"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe has now realized he wall all the time viewing the back of Larry's head is saying to Larry in a mad tone of a voice as he has now hit Larry on his right shoulder}: "Why, you imbecile, I have been looking at the back of your head all the time, and there is a fly on it!"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry has a dazed look on his face as he is saying to Moe in a dazed voice}: "I hope it's a fly!"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is looking at Larry with a really worried look and is using a worried tone of a voice}: "Yeah, a Teet-see!"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry has a really worried look and is saying to Moe in a really worried voice}: "Get it off, hurry up!"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is looking at Shemp with a serious look and is saying to Shemp in a serious voice}: "Get the gun!"

We are now seeing Shemp handing Moe the gat as Moe is now in the process of hitting the fly on the back of Larry's head with the butt of the gat.

SHEMP to MOE: {As Shemp is now grabbing Moe's arms to temporally stop him and is looking at Moe with a really worried look and is saying to Moe in a really worried voice}: "Wait a minute, you wanna kill him?"

LARRY to SHEMP: {As Larry is looking at Shemp with an ugly look as he is saying to Shemp in a mean voice}: "Why don't you mind your own business!"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry has now gently hit Moe on his left arm and has a mean look on his face as he is stating to Moe in a serious voice}: "Go, ahead, Moe."

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is looking at Shemp with a mad look as he is stating to Shemp in a mad voice}: "Yeah, mind your own business!"

We are now seeing Moe hitting the fly on the back of Larry's head really hard with the butt of the gat.

Moe is now in the process of trying to put their gat to the ground as he is not paying attention to what he is doing as he is now in the process of first hitting Shemp over the head with and a second time to Larry.

We are now seeing Larry bent over in horrible pain as he rubbing his sore head as with Shemp is also rubbing his sore head as the two of them are yelling out painfully; {'Owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha'}.

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE: {As Larry is still bent over and is pointing his finger at the ground and is saying in a really amazed tone of a voice and with an amazed look on his face}: "Oh, look! A footprint, and the toes pointe out like Pre-Historic men!"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is snapping his fingers at Shemp and has a look of wonderment on his face as he is saying to Shemp in a happy tone of a voice}: "Quick, get a camera and we'll photograph it!"

LARRY to SHEMP: {As Larry is now in a really happy and excited state}: "Hurry up!"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is also pointing a finger at the Pre-Historic footprint and is saying to Shemp in a really excited voice}: "Right, there!"

We are now seeing Shemp happily photographing as Shemp is thinking that he is taking photo-shots of the footprint as all the while Shemp has the camera backwards and is taking photo-shots of the ground in front of him along with himself.

LARRY and MOE to SHEMP: {As they are still in a really excited state as Moe and Larry are stating gleefully}: "We found it!"

SHEMP to LARRY and MOE: {As Shemp has a really happy look on his face as he is stating in a happy tone of a voice as he is still running the camera backwards}: "Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh, oh boy, oh boy, we're making history!"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is looking at Shemp with a bewildered look on his face and is using a mad tone of a voice}: "Yeah, we, hey 'Lunkhead', you got the camera backwards, oh don't worry about it!"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe has a mad look on his face and stating to Shemp in a really mad voice as we are seeing Moe taking the camera away from Shemp}; "Come on, ger away from here!"

We are now seeing Moe taking photo-shots of the footprints as Larry are Shemp are following Moe in a really happy state.

SHEMP to MOE: {As Shemp has a really excited look on his face as he is stating to Moe in an excited tone of a voice}: "Get a good one, now!"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry has a really excited voice and a really excited look on his face}: "Yeah, right, oh boy, get a good one, Moe!"

SHEMP to MOE: {As Shemp is now really excited and is stating to Moe in a really excited and happy voice}: "Oh boy, here we go, we are getting a bunch of good ones!"


"A TYPICAL DAY IN THE LIVES OF THREE CAVE MEN:" PRODUCED AND DIRECTED BY: SHEMP HOWARD, MOE HOWARD, AND LARRY FINE:


We are now seeing the 'Three Photographers' taking photo-shots as they are now; {supposedly making history}, as they are now leading us to a cave and the home of the; {supposedly cave men}.

We are now seeing the entrance way to the cave that has a stone bench in the door-way with two huge white rocks next to the bench. Plus we are seeing the entrance way of the cave as we are seeing a huge pile of rocks and logs.

We are now inside of the cave where we are meeting 'The Three Cave Men'; {SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE}. They are fast asleep on the cave floor on a black bare fur rug. {CAVE MAN SHEMP: is dressed in a one piece groin cloth of black rabbit fur and he is wearing white rabbit fur booties}. {CAVE MAN LARRY: {Is dressed in a one piece white rabbit fur groin cloth and he is barefooted}. {CAVE MAN MOE: {Is dressed in a white rabbit fur sarong and a black rabbit fur groin cloth and he is too barefooted}. They are also covered over with a black bare fur rug. Moe is snoring and whistling in his sleep. Shemp is snoring loudly and saying in his sleep; {'Heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba}, While Larry is just in a really peaceful slumber.

Their cave is decorated with one little full leafed scrub tree, a dining table with three chairs carved out of grey stone. On the table there are three place settings that are carved out of grey stone and three bowls hollowed out of cocoanut shells, plus bone cut cutlery. On the floor there is a lion skin rug and along a wall next to Larry there are three huge clubs carved out of tree logs.

We are now back on the three peacefully slumbering cave men, as Shemp is still snoring loudly and saying in his sleep; {'Heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba}. Larry is still fast asleep snoring and whistling loudly in his sleep. Moe is also snoring and whistling loudly in his sleep as we are now seeing a rope tied to Moe's left big toe.

Moe is now in the process of dreaming of the love of his life, his cave woman, AGGIE; {VIRGINIA HUNTER}.

MOE: {In a peaceful slumber and with a really contented look on his face as he is saying in a really dreamy tone of a voice}: "Aggie, Aggie, my angel, your face is so beautiful." {Here we are seeing Shemp wide awake and with a really gleeful and slghtly embarassed look on his face as Moe is dreaming and patting Shemp on his left hand}. "Your beautiful bleu eyes, darling I love you, I love you. Oh, my sweetheart, my Killy Kalupabird." {Here we are seeing Shemp at first with a really happy and mischievous grin on his face as he is now turning it into a mad look as Moe is now rubbing in his dreamy sleep very gingerly Shemp's chin and is stating}. "You need a shave!" {Here we are seeing Shemp pushing Moe's had away in utter disgust as Shemp is now turning on his right side to get away from the madly in love dreaming Moe}.

MOE: {As Moe is in his peaceful dreamy state as he is now in the process of turning onto his left side in Larry's direction as Moe is still dream talking in his sleep}: "My darling, I know you love me. But, you're too shy to say so. But, the petals on this gorgeous flower will prove it. Ooooh-ooooh-oooh-oooh. She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not. {Here we are seeing the love struck dreaming Moe now in the process of ripping Larry's hair from his head as Larry is now awake and sitting up in utter madness as Moe is now also tweaking Larry's bugle}:

MOE: {As he is still fast asleep and happily dreaming of Aggie and is saying a dreamy, love struck tone of a voice as Larry is looking at Moe and is realizing that he is once again dreaming of Aggie}: "My darling, I'll give you security, the most beautiful cave in Mesopotamia. What will you give me?"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is now wide awake and is looking at the love stricken Moe with a really disgusted look on his face as he is saying to the disgustingly in love Moe in a really disgusted voice}: "THIS!" {Here we are seeil Larry return in a digusted state the just favours to Moe as Larry is now socking Moe on his bugle}.

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is now awakened abruptly as he has a disgusted look on his face as he is stating to Larry in a really disgusted voice}: "What's the big idea!?"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is now looking at Moe with a really disgusted look as he is shouting to Moe in a mean and wicked voice}: "Wake up, and go to sleep!"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is now looking at Larry in a thorough state of disgust as Moe has now slapped Larry wickedly across his forehead and is applying several eyepokes and is shouting to Larry in an evil voice}: "Why, you 'Pussy-Willow-Brain', you ruined a beautiful romance for me, lay down!"

We are now seeing Larry laying back down and resuming his slumber as he is rubbing his face in pain and has a painful look on his face.

Moe, Shemp, and Larry are now sleeping peacefully as Shemp is now dreaming and breathing so hard that he is now blowing the the leaves off of the little srcub tree by his side of the bed. It has been several hours now as the loudly snoring 'Cave Men' were catching a few more Z's, as we are now seeing the poor, little, innocent, mangy, and unloved little tree now totally leafless.

Moe is now being awakened from his peaceful slumber as he is feeling the tugging of the rope on his toe and Moe is now uncovering himself as Moe is going outside to greet a very gorgeous Summers day. The skye is pale bleu and totally cloudless and full sun in shine. Couple of hazed covered mountains in the background. Leafed out Maple and scrub trees. Moe is now bent at his waist as he is following his lead roped across a side-line of beautiful stones and wood snipping's to a lovely dark bleu babbling brooke as Moe is pulling the line from the water and has noriced he had snagged himself a beautiful five pound fish. Moe is now taking the fish lure from the fishes mouth, and the rope from his toe and is laying the rope on the side-line.

MOE to HIS FISH: {As Moe now has a gleeful look on his face as he is saying to the fish in a proud voice}: "Oh, a beauty, oh boy!"

Moe has now tossed the lure to the ground as he is now proudly walking back to their cave with his proud catch.

Moe is still holding his fish as he is now taking one of the clubs and is gently hitting Larry on his forehead in process of waking him up.

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is now sitting up, yawning and stretching with a really cheery look on his face as he is now getting ready to greet the gorgeous day that lays before him as he is saying to Moe in a cheery voice}: "Aaaaha, good morning!"

Now Moe is walking over to Shemp who still is loudly snoring as saying in his sleep; {'Aheeba-aheeba-aheeba-aheeba-aheeba-aheeba-aheeba}, as Moe is still holdign his fish with a really mischievous look on his face as Moe is now tapping Shemp gently three times across his forehead in the process of waiting him up; {As we are now hearing chimes playing}.

SHEMP to MOE: {As Shemp is now waking up, yawning, stretching and is getting ready to greet the great and wonderful day that awaits him}: "Oh, top of the morning!"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is now looking at Shemp with a really disgusted look as Moe is stating to Shemp in a disgusted voice as Moe hits Shemp one more time on his cocoanut}: "And the, top of the morning to you!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe is now proudly showing them the fish and is stating gleefully}: "Look, what we got for breakfast!"

SHEMP to MOE: {As we are now hearing the fish barking at Shemp as he is saying to Moe in a gleeful voice}: "Oh, boy, a dog-fish!"

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE: {As Larry is now in a full-blown state of mischief states}: "I hope it ain't got fleas!"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is looking at Larry with a disgusted look as he is giving Larry several smacks on his forehead and several more eyepokes and is shouting at him}: "Quiet!"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is saying to Shemp in a really mischievous tone of a voice as Moe is giving Shemp the dog-fish as Moe is stating to Shemp in a really mischievous voice}: "Now, you get this ready for breakfast, while Larry and I go take a dip!"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is now having second thoughts and is looking at Shemp with a dazed look on his face as he is asking Shemp in a questionable voice}: "Wait a minute, did you take a bath?"

SHEMP to MOE: {As Shemp is looking at Moe with a smirky look on his face and is stating to Moe in a mischievous and questionable voice}: "What's the matter, is there one missing!?"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is now in a mad state as he is now slapping Shemp in the face with the tail of the fish and is shouting to him wickedly as Moe has now given him the Shemp}: "Go on, go on!"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is now pointing the way to the lovely babbling brooke as he is shouting to Larry}: "Let's go!"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is looking at Moe with a wicked look and is saying to Moe in a low, monotone and disgusted voice}: "To the water!"

We are now in the process of seeing Shemp getting things ready for cooking their fish. Shemp has now placed the fish down on a rock as he is now kneeling in front of the cold fire pit as he is blowing into it to see if there are any states of a fire left and there is not. Shemp has now blowing on the cold fire pit as he is now getting covered with soot and ashes.

SHEMP to the FIRE PIT: {As he has now been showered in soot and ashes and states disgustingly}: "Teetaa-teetaa-teetaa-teetaa-teetaa-teetaa, how do you like that? The fire went out. Hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha, I'll fix that!"

We are now seeing the soot covered Shemp as he is now in the process of setting a bunch of dry leaves and twigs on the fire pit as he is now picking up his rock-o-lighter.

SHEMP to HIS ROCK-O-LIGHTER: {As Shemp has a really determined look on his face as he is now 'Flicking His Bic' several times}: "Ah, my trust little rock lighter, don't fail me baby, don't fail me baby!"

SHEMP to HIS FIRE PIT: {As Shemp has now gotten the leaves and twigs ignited says to it in a really happy tone of a voice}: "There we are!"

We are now in that lovely setting of a beautiful, pale bleu skye-line, a full sun shining, several magnificent greyish-lavenderish, hazed covered mountains in the distance that are lined with lovely full leafed out Maple and scrub trees. We are now seeing that lovely dark bleu babbling brooke that is outlined in gorgeous full leafed Maple and scrub trees and some ground cover flowers as Moe and Larry have now completed their bathes.

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is looking at the beautiful babbling brooke, as Moe has now noticed a small painted turtle as he has now caught it and is saying to Larry gleefully as Moe is holding onto the turtle}: "What do you know? A fish for breakfase, a turtle fo lunch. Here, bring this in the hous and give it to Shemp. I'll look around to see what I can find for supper!"

We are now hearing Shemp humming joyfully as he is now in the process of getting a gigantic log and is spitting on his hands as he is now getting his axe and is in the process of chopping the log to put it on the fire. Shemp has now chopped the log into two pieces as he is now looking around for the second piece of the log as he has now temporally lost it. We are now locating it as it is falling back down and is hitting Shem hard on his cocoanut causing Shemp to loose his ba-lance and falling back to a wall as the log is now splitting into a dozen or so little sticks.

SHEMP to THE LOG: {As Shemp is now in a total state of joy as he has now noticed that the log has busted into a dozen or so little piece as he is merrily picking them up and placing them on the fire}: "Oh, kindling, hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha!"

Shemp has now gotten the fire started as he is now in the process of pouring some crème into their butter churn.

LARRY to SHEMP: {As Larry is now happily running into their cave and is saying to Shemp in a really gleeful tone of a voice}: "Look, what we got for lunch, a turtle!"

SHEMP to LARRY: {As Shemp now has a really happy look on his face and is stating to Larry in a really gleeful voice as Shemp is now in the process of putting the lid onto the butter churn}: "Oh, that's swell. You're just in time to help me make butter!"

LARRY to SHEMP: {As Larry has now placed the turtle onto their dining table and is looking at Shemp with a really happy look and is saying to Shemp in a gleeful voice}: "Is the crème in the churn?"

SHEMP to LARRY: {As Shemp is holding onto the butter churn with a really mischievous look on his face as he is stating to Larry mischievously}: "Oh, we're all set, let's go!"

We are now seeing Shemp and Larry making butter. Shemp is holding the butter churn and shaking it up and down as Larry is now standing behind Shemp and is tickling his ribs as Shemp is jumping up and down and laughing hysterically; {'Heee-heee-heee-heee-heee-heee-heee-heee; ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff}: Shemp is now jumping up and down and bobbing from side to side even more frantically the more Larry is tickling him.

SHEMP to LARRY: {As they have now been churning butter for a good ten minutes now as Shemp has stopped shaking the churn and is stating to Larry in a really serious voice}: "Wait a minute, I think it is done, go and get the bowl!"

We are now seeing Larry running over to their table as he is now bringing Shemp the bowl as Shemp is now dumping the butter into it.

SHEMP to LARRY: {As Shemp and Larry are now looking at the butter with pride}: "Here, oh boy, Grade A!"

LARRY to SHEMP: {As Larry is now looking at the butter in happiness and is stating in a low and happy voice}: "Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh!"

We are now back outside with Moe as he is in beautiful God Created surrounding of several sun-lit greyish-lavenderish mountains in the foreground. Several lovely full leafed scrub trees, several lovely differet coloured scrub flowers, a pale bleu cloudless sky-line. A rocky side-line and a beautiful dark bleu babbling brooke.

Mow was in the process of thinking about taking a nap in this beautiful day as he was starting to lean against a tree as he is yawning, stretching and starting to sit down for his siesta as he is now being interrupted by the quacking of a beautiful, little male Mallard Duck.

Moe is now sitting there wide-eyed as his is now totally awake from his peaceful siesta by the quacking of the Mallard Duck who is sitting on the beautiful tree lined babbling brooke.

Moe is now in the process of slowly and quietly standing up with his club in his hand as he is now approaching the little duck.

MOE: {To himself in a mischievous state}: "Oh, boy, duck for dinner!"

Moe is now in the state of camouflaging himself as he is now holding a small sprigged of leaves over his face as he is quietly walking into the babbling brooke with his club in his right hand as he is now hoping to pinch himself a duck for supper.

Moe is now in the beautiful babbling brooke as he is now having 'The Battle Of The Wits' with the duck. Moe has now entered the brooke with his club in his right hand and his sprigged of leaf camouflage over his face as he is now approaching the wise-acre duck and is removing his camouflaging from his face as he is now trying to take a wack at the duck as we are now seeing Moe completely missing his mark as the duck is squirting water at Moe on his face.

Moe is now really disgusted with the duck as he is looking at the duck with a disgusted look on his face as Moe is now taking his club and is wickedly smacking the water in every direction with it hoping that it wias the duck. But we are now seeing the duck laughing hysterically at Moe as he has now merrily swam away.

MOE to the DUCK: {As Moe now has a really evil look on his face and is splashing the water in his face and is looking around the brooke for the duck as Moe is not very successful at it as Moe is shouting loudly and madly at the duck in an evil voice}: "A wise-guy, ehy? I'll get you!"

We are now seeing that cute, rascally little duck getting one up on Moe as Moe is now bent at the waist and is looking in all directions in front of himself for the duck as Moe is now walking backwards and is not noticing the duck as that rascally little critter has now bitten Moe on his left thigh.

Moe is now yelling at the top of his lungs in horrible pain; {'Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha'}; and has a really hurtful look on his face.

Moe has now discovered that the rascally little critter is now behind him as Moe is turning around with a really evil and wicked look on his face as he is now taking his club and wildly smacking the water in all directions with it. As Moe was smacking one portion of the brooke we are now seeing that rascally wise-acre duck swimming into another part of the brooke.

We are now in the process of Moe and that rascally duck playing 'Cat and Mouse' games with one another. Moe is now thorougly disgusted with that smart little critter as Moe is now totally out of control as Moe is wickedly slapping the brooke in all directions. Moe just smacks where the duck was for a split second the rascally critter has moved to another spot. This is now going on for several minutes now.

The duck has now temporally hidden from Moe by diving completely under-water as we are now seeing Moe bending over and getting really close to the water looking for the duck. Moe has now decided to dive completely under the water for the rascally little critter.

As Moe is now coming up for aire we are now noticing that cute and rascally little duck sneaking up to Moe and is biting Moe on his bugle.

MOE to the DUCK: {As Moe now has a really hurtful look on his face as he is saying to him in a horrible state of pain and with a look on panic on his face; {'Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha; hemha, hemha, hemha, hemha, hemha, hemha, hemha, hemha}. I'll get you, I'll tear your tonsils out!"

Moe is now once again diving under-neat the water, as he is once again after that rascally little and wise-acre of a duck as he is still trying to pinch him.

MOE to the DUCK: {As Moe is now standing up with a really evil look on his face as he is saying to the duck as Moe has no idea that the rascally little duck is now riding on Moe's back}: "Here duckie, duckie, got away, hunha?"

We are now seeing Shemp and Larry coming out of their cave holding their arrows and bow sets as they are now noticing the duck.

LARRY to SHEMP: {As Larry now has a really wicked look on his face as he is stating to Shemp in a really gleeful tone of a voice}: "Look, a duck!"

Moe is now far enough below the hedge-line of the water as he is now walking all around looking for that wise-acre duck that he has now idea is riding on his back as we are now seeing Shemp and Larry loading their arrows into their bows as they are now shooting at the duck that they are thinking is walking along the hege-line as they do not know that the duck is on Moe's back.

Shemp and Larry both have gleeful looks on their faces as they are now shooting at the duck. Shemp and Larry have now completely missed the duck and have now shot Moe hard in his right side.

Moe is now standing up with a really hurtful look on his face as he is now removing the arrows from his side and is yelling in horrible pain; {'Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha; ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-oooh-oooh'}.

Larry and Shemp have now noticed that they just shot Moe as they have really scared looks on their faces as Larry is shouting in pain and frantic panic; {'Yeowha-hooha, yeowha-hooha, yeowha-hooha, yeowha-hooha, yeowha-hooha, yeowha-hooha}. Shemp is yelling in a horrible state of panic; {'Heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba-heeba'}. As they are now turing around with their 'Tails Betwixt Their Pants' as they are now running like 'Bats Out Of Hell' back into their cave for protection in horrible states of fear not wanting to be caught by Moe.

We are now inside of their cave as everything in now honky-dordy with the duck mess as we are seeing Shemp, Larry, and Moe sitting at their table with gleeful looks on their faces as they are now wiping their faces with their leaf napking as Larry and Shemp are picking their fangs with fish-bone fang-picks as they have now completed their gourmet breakfast of bar-be-qued dog-fish.

We are now in the process of seeing Moe getting all dolled up as he is sitting at the table and is taking a hollowed out cocoanut shell bowl and a fur shaving lather brush and is liberally applying shaving lather to his face as he is now taking his razor; {Which is a large, sharpe rock tied to a wooden stick with a piece of a rope}; and is now shaving his face. Plus he is now applying some cologne to his face and he is now taking a large pawful of butter and is rubbing it through his hair like 'Brillé Crème, as he is now taking his comb which is a fish skeleton and is now combing it through his hair. Moe has now finished getting dolled up as he now has a gleeful look on his face.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe now has a really mean look on his face as he is now taking a whip and is slapping Shemp and Larry across their faces with it and is shouting to them in a low and mad tone of a voice}: "Now, listen, if you behave yourselves, I'll let you meet Aggie's two sisters!"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is now sitting there at the table with a look of glee on his face as he has finished wiping it down and is asking Moe in a really gleeful tone of a voice}: "Are they pretty?"

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is sitting at the table completeing his primping is answering Larry back in a serious tone of a voice and with a serious look on his face}: "I don't know, I never saw them!"

We are now hearing Aggie and her two sisters standing outside of their cave as they are now in a huddle and are laughing and joking with one another.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe is now hearing the three sisters laughing in glee outside of their cave}: "Hey, there's Aggie, and her two sisters!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe is now picking up his club in a mischievous and gleeful state as he is saying to them in a happy tone of a voice}: "It look's like I'm going courting!"

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE: {As Larry now has a really happy look on his face and is using a gleeful tone of a voice as he too is picking up his club}: "Me, too!"

SHEMP to LARRY and MOE: {As Shemp too is using a happy tone of a voice and has a gleeful look on his face as he is also picking up his club and is giving it a kiss}: "Me, three, be still my beating heart. On with it, on with it!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe has a gleeful look on his face and is stating to them in a gleeful tone of a voice as Moe is pointing a finger at their cave door}: "On with it!"

We are now in the process of seeing the 'Three Love Struck Cave Men' as they are now going outside and are taking their clubs and hitting the three sisters gently over their heads.

MAGGIE; {NANCY SAUNDERS}; to AGGIE; {VIRGINIA HUNTER}; and BAGGIE; {DEE GREEN}: {As the three sisters are still in their huddle and laughing and joking with one another as Maggie is saying to them in a low and mischievous tone of a voice}: "Let's just ignore them, girls!"

We are now once again seeing 'The Love Stricken Cave Men' gently once again hitting the girls gently on their heads with their clubs.

MOE to AGGIE: {As Moe now has a really happy look on his face as he is shouting to her in a really gleeful tone of a voice}: "Aggie, Aggie, hiya toots!"

AGGIE to MOE: {As she and her two sisters are now turning around with fans over their faces and looking at them with really mischievous looks on their faces as she is saying to Moe in a mischievous and slightly flirty tone of a voice like she has just noticed Moe and his Cave Mates for the first time}: "Oh, hello Moe, what do you know?"

SHEMP and LARRY to AGGIE, MAGGIE, and BAGGIE: {As Shemp and Larry are now looking at the three sisters with really gleeful looks as they are now doing a little shuffle dance and are using a sing-song style of a voice}: "We just got back from a dinosaur show, yeah!"

MOE to AGGIE, MAGGIE, and BAGGIE: {As Moe is now laughing slightly and has a look of mischief and is saying in a mischievous voice}: "Hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha, I want you to meet my Cave Mates, Larry and Shemp.

AGGIE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As she is now lowering her fan and is a lovely looking lady as she has a beautiful look on her face and is using a gleeful tone of a voice}: "I'm Aggie!" {Aggie is dressed in a black fur knee-lenght dress, with a leopard skin belt, a white string of flowers around her neck and her slightly curled long brunette hair is parted down the left side and is being hel in place by a giant orchid flower hair clip, plus she is barefooted}.

MAGGIE to SHEMP, MOE, and LARRY: {As she too has a fan in front of her face as she is now lowering it and has a really beautiful smile on her face and she too is a gorgeous young lady. She is now slightly swaying from side to side and is using a really joyful tone of a voice as she is now introducing herself to them}: "I'm Maggie; {Maggie is dressed in a white fur knee-length sleeveless dress, and also a flower necklace around her neck. Her curled blonde hair is also parted at the left side and is being held in place with a large orchid flower clip, plus she is barefooted}.

BAGGIE to MOE, SHEMP, and LARRY: {As she too has a fan covering her face as is now lowering it and is looking at them with a really gleeful lookin on her face as she too is slightly swaying from side to side and is using a gleeful tone of a voice}: "I'm Baggie!" {We are now seeing Baggie, she is dressed in leopard skin knee-length dress, black fur belt, her gently curled blonde hair is slighty dirty, and she has a flower hair clip pinned at the back of her hair. She is slightly on the fat side and has several teeth missing and she is also barefooted}.

SHEMP to BAGGIE: {As Shemp is now looking at her with a really scared look and has flinched a tad in fear and he is saying to her in a worried voice}: "You're telling me!"

We are now seeing three other very irate cave men as they are seeing Aggie, Maggie, and Baggie flirting with Moe, Shemp, and Larry.

MAD CAVE MAN DRESSED IN A LEOPARD SARONG; {CY SHINDELL}: to the OTHER TWO CAVE MEN: {As we are now seeing the 'Three Other Cave Men' standing there with really mean looks on their faces as they are holding onto their spears and the first cave man states to his Cave Mates as he is pointing a finger in the direction Moe, Shemp, and Larry}: "Look, they're stealing our women!"

We are now happily seeing Moe with Aggie over his shoulder as Larry now has Maggie over his shoulder and poor Shemp is left 'HOLDING THE BAGGIE' as Moe, Larry, and Shemp are carrying the girls to their cave and is telling them to get inside for their safety.

As Moe, Shemp, and Larry were seeing the girls were safe in their cave as they are giving them a tiny peck on their cheeks the other 'Three Cave Men' have now chucked their spears and are now stabbing Moe, Shemp, and Larry in their keesters.

We are seeing Aggie, Maggie, and Baggie with horrified looks of fear on their faces due to the fact that Moe, Shemp, and Larry have now had their keesters stabbed.

We are now seeing Shemp, Larry, and Moe with horrified looks of pain on their faces as they are yelling at the top of their lungs in horrified states of pain; {'Yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh, yeowha-oooh'}. As they are now turning around in the direction of the other Cave Men and are giving them mean and really demented looks of madness.

LEOPARD DRESSED CAVE MAN to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: {As he and his other Cave Mates are looking at Shemp, Larry, and Moe with evil looks as the Leopard Cave Man is shouting wickedly to them}: "You stole our girls, you horse-thieves!"

CAVE MAN DRESSED IN BLACK SARONG; {BILL WALLACE}: to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: {As he is looking at them wickedly and is shouting to them in a really evil tone of a voice}: "We want them back!"

As the girls have now come back out to see what is going on Moe, Shemp, and Larry are afraid they might get hurt.

SHEMP to AGGIE, MAGGIE, and BAGGIE: {As he now has a really worried look on his face as he is shouting to them in a really carrying voice as he is pointing a finger at their cave}: "Get in the cave, girls!"

MOE to SHEMP, and LARRY: {As Moe, Shemp, and Larry are now looking at the other three cave men with really evil looks on their faces as Moe is now waving a finger in the aire and is saying to Shemp and Larry in a really mean tone of a voice}: "I'll protect those girls, to the last drop of your blood!" {Here we are now seeing Moe is a state of mischief as he is now pointing a finger at Shemp}.

We are now seeing Shemp flinch a tad in fear at Moe's statement as Larry also has a look of fear on his face.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe now has a really wicked look on his face as Shemp and Larry have looks of fear on their faces}: "Come on, I'll man the gun, ammunition, on the run!"

We are now seeing Moe, Shemp, and Larry with their "GUN." Which is a "SWINGING TREE BRANCH."

We are now seeing Larry handing Moe their first piece of ammunition which is a huge, white rock as Moe is now loading their "GUN" and is pulling the trigger as he is now hitting the Cave Man Dressed In The Black Fur Sarong square on his forehead and is knocking him out cold as he is now falling flat on his back to the ground.

Now we are seeing Shemp standing in front of their "TREE GUN" as he is looking at Moe with a really dazed look on his face as Moe is now loading their "GUN" with more ammunition which consists of a large ball of manure as Moe is now in the process of shooting off the gun.

SHEMP to MOE: {As Shemp is now helping Moe getting the ammunition loaded correctly in their "TREE GUN" is saying to Moe in a really serious voice and with a mischievous look on his face}: "No, no, a little to the left, about a half inch!"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is now re-positioning the ammunition as Shemp has directed him now has a really devious look on his face as Moe is stating to Shemp in a low tone of a voice}: "Okay!"

SHEMP to MOE: {As Shemp now has a really evil look on his face as he is stating to Moe in a really devious and slightly mischievous tone of a voice}: "That's it, fire!"

Moe has now shot their gun off as we are now seeing the Cave Man Dressed in The Leopard Sarong getting hit square in his kisser with the manure ball as he is now wiping it off of his face in a horrible state of dementedness as he is looking at Shemp, Larry, and Moe with a really evil look on his face.

We are now seeing the Cave Man Dressed in the Leopard Sarong wiping some more manure off of his face as he is has a really evil look on his face as he is saying in a disgusted tone of a voice; {'Ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa-ahupa'}.

We are now seeing Larry with a really demented look on his face as he is now bringing Moe more ammunition for their gun which is a really decaded fish.

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe has a really devilish look on his face as he is stating to Larry in a really low and demented voice as Moe is loading the ammunition into the barrel of their gun}: "Oh, boy!"

Moe has now fired their gun as the decade fish goes sailing through the aire and is hitting 'THE THIRD CAVE MAN'; {JOE PALMA}; {He is dressed in a white rabbit fur sarong, black rabbit fur groin clothe and is barefooted}: He is now pushing the fish from his face and is rubbing his face and cocoanut in a state of pain as he now has a really embarrassed look on his face and is saying in a state of embarrassment; {'Unha-unha-unha-unha-unha'}, as he is staggering and regaining his ba-lance as his other two cave mates are looking at him to see if he is all right.

We are now back on Shemp, Larry, and Moe as they are standing there with really wicked looks on their faces as they are now winning the battle for the girls as of now.

SHEMP to LARRY: {As Shemp is now handing to Larry in a full blown state of mischief another piece of ammunition for their gun which is another gigantic white rock as he is using a really mischievous tone of a voice}: "Here Larry, have this block-buster!"

We are now in the process of seeing Larry firing off the gigantic white rock as Larry is now hitting the second Cave Man; {The one that is dressed in the full-length black sarong square in the kisser as he is now once again falling to the ground}.

While Shemp and Larry were using their gun Moe was standing in front of the gun a tad to Larry's right side as Moe too has a really devious look on his face.

LARRY to SHEMP: {As Larry is now taking from Shemp another ball of manure and is stating to Shemp in a really mischievous tone of a voice}: "Oh, okay!"

As Larry was loading their "TREE GUN" with Shemp's latest addition of ammunition we are now seeing the other 'Three Cave Men' running like 'Chickens With Their Heads Cut Off' in a state of scaredness for cover behind a gigantic grey rock.

Larry is in a state of devious mischief has not gotten himself another gigantic white boulder and is shooting it off at the other Cave Men but has now missed his mark and has hit the gigantic grey rock with it as the other 'Three Chicken Livered Cave Men' are now standing and hiding behind the rock.

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe now has a really wicked look on his face as he is now stating to Larry in a really wicked tone of a voice as Larry is now loading the latest ammunition that Moe has now given him which is another ball of manure}: "A little to the left, a little more!"

We are now seeing Larry following Moe's instructions at first but Larry lets go of the trigger not noticing where he was shooting as Larry is now yelling at the top of his lungs in pain as he is now getting stung in his back by a hornet; {'Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha'}.

Larry has now chased the hornet away as he is now looking back in the direction of Moe as Larry has now noticed that he has hit Moe square in the kisser with the huge ball of manure instead of one of the other cave men.

Larry is now standing there bug-eyed and is now cringing in a state of fear and panic as he has now noticed that he shot Moe with the ammunition instead of one of the other Cave Men.

We are now seeing Moe approaching Larry in a really disgusted state as Moe is now wiping the ammunition off of his face.

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is now using hand gestures to support himself as he now has a really scared look on his face as he is using a panicking tone of a voice as Moe is now approaching Larry in a thoroughly disgusted state}: "Wait a minute, Moe, there's an explination, I'm sorry!"

MOE to LARRY: {As we are now seeing Moe still with his dirty face as he is looing at the really terrified Larry with a really wicked look on his face as Moe is now shouting to Larry in a thoroughly disguted tone of a voice as Moe is now slapping Larry square in the kisser and is giving him several eyepokes}: "What's the matter, don't you know how to fire a gun? What's the matter with you, get some ammunition will ya? Hurry up!"

LARRY to MOE: {As Larry is now rubbing his face in pain and is stating to Moe in a really low, monotone and painful tone of a voice}: "Okay!"

We are now in the process of seeing the scared and hurt Larry handing to Moe a hornet's nest as Moe is now loading the gun barrel with it.

We are now getting a quick peak of the 'Other Cave Man That Is Dressed In The Leopard Sarong' as he is now quickly taking cover behind the gigantic grey rock as the rock is now getting bombarded with the hornet's nest.

LEOPARD DRESSED CAVE MAN to MOE: {As he is now looking out from behind the gigantic rock with a really mischievous look on his face as he is now sticking his tongue out and is saying to Moe in a really mischievous tone of a voice}: "You missed me, haahaa, haahaa, haahaa, haahaa, haahaa'!"

We are now seeing Larry in a really mischievous state as he is now re-loading their gun with another manure ball and is firing it quickly as 'The Leopard Dressed Cave Man' is now getting caught off guard as he is now getting plastered square in the kisser with it.

We are now seeing 'The Leopard Dressed Cave Man' with a really hurtful look on his face as he is wiping some manure from his face and is moaning painfully; {'Ooooh-yeowha, ooooh-yeowha, ooooh-yeowha, ooooh-yeowha, ooooh-yeowha, ooooh-yeowha, ooooh-yeowha, ooooh-yeowha'}.

We are now back on the dementedly crazed out Moe and Larry as they are now standing behind their gun with really wicked looks on their faces as Moe still has some manure on his face that Larry shot him with.

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is now jumping up and down in total glee and with a really evil look on his face as Larry is standing by Moe's right side waving his arms to and fro also with a really evil look on his face as Moe is stating to Larry in a really evil tone of a voice}: "What a shot!"

SHEMP to LARRY and MOE: {As Shemp is now running up to the two of them with a really happy look on his face as he is stating to Moe and Larry in a really proud tone of a voice as he is handing to Moe and Larry a boids nest filled with cackle fruit}: "Look what I found!"

LARRY to SHEMP: {As Larry is looking at Shemp really joyfully as he is stating to Shemp in a really gleeful tone of a voice}: "Oh, eggs!"

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is now stating to Shemp in a really happy tone of a voice and a mischievous look on his face}: "Perfect!"

We are now seeing Moe loading their gun barrel with nest of eggs in a really gleeful and totally mischievous state as Moe is now firing the eggs and is hitting the other cave man that is dressed in the white rabbit fur sarong and black rabbit fur groin cloth.

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE: {As Larry, Shemp, and Moe all are standing there jumping up and down in mischievous glee and with huge mischievous grins on their faces as Larry is stating to them mischievously}: "Oh, boy, a bulls-eye, look!"

We are now seeing that Cave Man standing there with a really demented look on his face as he is now wearing two of the eggs like earrings as he also has two of the eggs covering each eye like a pair of spectacles and is wearing the nest like a hat.

We are now seeing that Cave Man throwing the nest to the ground and is also wiping the eggs off of his face with a really demented look on his face.

We are now seeing the 'Other Three Cave Men' in a super, mad, and demented state with evil looks on their faces as they have their spears pointing outwards and are now slowly approaching Shemp, Larry, and Moe to seek revenge.

MOE to LARRY: {As Moe is now looking at Larry with a really mischievous look on his face as he is stating to Larry in a really mischievous tone of a voice}: "Get the poisonous gas, Larry!"

We are now in the process of seeing Larry leaving to fetch the poisonous gas; {Which happens to be a 'STRIPPED KITTY'}.}.

MOE to SHEMP: {As Moe is now looking at Shemp with a really carrying look on his face as he is saying to Shemp in a really carrying tone of a voice}: "On, with the gas masks!"

We are now seeing Moe shaking his fist evilly at the 'Other Three Cave Men'. Larry is now returning with the poisonous stripped kitty gas as Moe and Shemp are now putting on their gas masks; {Which are wooden clothing pins on their noses}.

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE: {As Larry is now running up to them in a really wicked state as he is now handing to Moe the stripped kitty and is stating to Moe and Shemp in a really low and wicked tone of a voice}: "Here we are!"

SHEMP to LARRY: {As Shemp is totally demented and is jumping up and down in a state of demented mischief is stating to Larry}: "Hurry up!"

MOE to THE STRIPPED KITTY: {As Moe is now loading the stripped kitty into their gun barrel and is saying to the kitty in a really mischievous tone of a voice}: "I got him, hold still there you!"

We are now seeing Moe, Larry, and Shemp all grinning from ear to ear in glee as they have now shot off the poisonous gas at the 'Other Three Cave Men that have now chucked their spears at Moe, Shemp, and Larry in a state of total demented madness.

We are now seeing the 'Other Three Cave Men' frozen in their tracks in total fear as the poisonous gas is now landing right in front of them and is squirting the wildly.

"A TYPICAL DAY IN THE LIVES OF THREE CAVE MEN:" PRODUCED AND DIRECTED BY: SHEMP HOWARD, MOE HOWARD AND LARRY FINE:

We are now closing out their documentary and photo-shots of cave men where we are seeing 'The Other Three Cave Men' with horrible looks of fear and panic on their faces as they are now crying 'Uncle' and are high tailing it out of their with their tails betwixt their pants in total defeat and are yelling in panic; {'Owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha, owha-yeowha'}.

We are now seeing the totally happy Shemp, Larry, and Moe as Moe and Shemp have now taken off their gas masks as they are now jumping up and down and are pounding their fists on their chests and have really happy, bug-eyed looks on their faces as they are now shouting and yelling in victory; {'Owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo, owha-whoo; Yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo, yeeha-woo}.

Now we are seeing the really happy Cave Ladies as they are running up to the Cave Men, Aggie is running to Moe, Maggie is running to Larry, and Baggie is running to Shemp as they are now kissing and hugging them in a total state of love, pride, and happiness.

THE END:

We are now back in the Office of Mr. B. Bopper as we are seeing Moe shutting off the film projector.


"STONE AGE ROMEOS": {ENDING}:

MOE to MR. B. BOPPER: {As Moe is now having a 'Bloody Good Time' as he has a really happy look on his face as he is stating to Mr. B. Bopper in a really mischievous tone of a voice}: "How do you like that, Mr. Bopper?"

MR. B. BOPPER to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: {As he has a really happy look on his face as he is stating to them in a voice of amazement and with an amazed look on his face}: "It's splendid, ah, splendid in deed. You have proven to the world that there are still cave men in existence. I'll go to the cashiers office and have your cheque drawn."

We are now finding out that their 'CAVE MAN DOCUMENTARY' IS JUST A BIG SHUCK AND JIVE SCAM:

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: {As Moe is having a bloody good time as the three of them are now in a huddle with mischievous look on their faces as Moe is stating to Shemp and Larry in a low and mischievous tone of a voice as they are not noticing that Mr. B. Bopper has returned back into his office}: "Boy, oh boy, did we put one over, haaahaa-haaahaa-haaahaa-haaahaa. Bopper will never suspect that we made that picture here in Hollywood!"

LARRY to SHEMP and MOE: {As Larry also doesn't know that Mr. B. Bopper is now in his office and is listening to everything as Larry has a really mischievous look on his face and is using a really mischievous voice}: "And, with these phony beards on, he will never dream we were the cave men, haaahaa-haaahaa-haaahaa-haaahaa-haaahaa-haaahaa-haaahaa-haaahaa!"

While Moe, Larry, and Shemp were having their bloody good discussion about the scam job that they thought they pulled over Mr. B. Bopper as we are now seeing Mr. B. Bopper standing behind them fumming at the mouth in utter disgust.

MR. B. BOPPER to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: {As Mr. Bopper is now balling up his hands in fists and is shaking them up and down in horrible madness as he has a really mad and disgusted look on his face as he is now throwing their cheque to the ground and is shouting at them in a really evil tone of a voice as he is now pulling down their phony beards}: "So, that's it, you, and you, and you, why you miserable swindlers!"

We are now seeing the 'Three Crooked Cave Men' running for their lives out of Mr. B. Bopper's office like bats outta hell with really hurtful looks on their face and are yelling in a state of fear; 'Yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha-yeowha'}, as we are seeing Mr, B, Bopper getting a .22 calibre gat out of his dresser drawer and is shooting them in a state of beyond utter madness and disgust right in their keesters as they are now high tailing it out of there in fear for their lives.

MR. B. BOPPER to SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: {As he has a really wicked look on his face as he is yelling at them in a really evil tone of a voice}: "I guess, I fixed them!"


"STONE AGE ROMEOS": {FADE OUT}:

We are now seeing "STONE AGE ROMEOS" fading out as Mr. B. Bopper is now in the process of shooting himself in his right foot as he is now grabbing it and is jumping up and down in miserable pain as he is yelling in a really painful tone of a voice; {'owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha-owha; heowha-heowha-heowha-heowha-heowha-heowha-heowha-heowha; hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha-hunha; youch-youch-youch-youch-youch-youch-youch-youch'}.


Videography   (1)

Fan Reviews   (3)
Re: STONE AGE ROMEOS
Posted 2002-01-12 20:46:00 by Stooge
Edited 2008-06-16 07:46:59 by Stooge
A very good remake, and I like it better than I'M A MONKEY'S UNCLE. Sure the new footage was basically a wrap-around, but at least that means we get a new beginning and end, and the reused footage is only in the middle. Plus, the new scenes are funnier than the reused footage and set the caveman storyline up better. The new footage probably could've made a good enough original short on its own. And even though the ending with Emil Sitka shooting the Stooges, then his own foot, was basically the same as HE COOKED HIS GOOSE's ending, it was funnier and faster-paced here.

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Re: STONE AGE ROMEOS
Posted 2002-02-11 18:05:00 by Shemp_Diesel
Just your average rehash with new wraparound footage and an excess of old footage in the middle that's poorly edited. 2 pokes

Reviewer's Rating: (5)
Re: STONE AGE ROMEOS
Posted 2001-08-30 20:11:00 by Mike Holme
A pretty good remake and a little better than the original. The problem with this one is the same as "Creeps" and "Husbands Beware", the new footage was a wrap around, even though it was good, all the caveman scenes are old footage. Even though the ending was new footage, it was the same as in "He Cooked His Goose", but this is one of those rare cases in which it is funny twice. Rating: 79%(C+) Mike Holme

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