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"I come from Brooklyn, where those bums are." "Bums? Bums! They explode!" "I'll say they explode... they fall apart!" - Joe & Vanda DuPre (FIFI BLOWS HER TOP, 1958)

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Average Rating:     [6.39/10]   20 votes

RIP, SEW AND STITCH

Larry, Shemp, and Moe own a tailor shop that is in danger of losing all the equipment if they don't pay up to their supplier. When the boys learn bank bandit Terry Hargen has been in the shop, they hope to capture him and collect the reward.



A remake of SING A SONG OF SIX PANTS (1947), using stock footage.
IMDb Rating

RIP, SEW, AND STITCH on IMDb

Featuring
Moe, Larry and Shemp
Release Date
September 03, 1953
Studio
Columbia
Production Type
Short Subject
Duration
16.67 min.
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Production Notes   (3)
Working Title(s):   A PRESSING AFFAIR
Prod. No.:   4201
Shooting Days:   1 days   From: 1952-10-14   To: 1952-10-14

Stooge Mayhem   (Avg. 7.00)
Face Slaps: 26 Eye Pokes: 2 Head Bonks: 0 Pastry Thrown: 0

Stooge Quotes   (0)

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Stooge Goofs   (4)
  • Abrupt Cut
    Moe finds a fifty dollar bill in Hargan's jacket and the boys begin searching the other clothes for money. The scene then abruptly cuts to Moe standing and holding the bill with a disgusted look on his face, and Shemp reaching through a pair of pants and taking the bill out of Moe's hand.

  • Larry's Bottles
    The short opens with new footage of Larry drinking from a bottle with black and white letters spelling "Root Beer." Later when Larry takes another swig, the label on the bottle has changed to a white one (due to archive footage from SING A SONG OF SIX PANTS).

  • Messy or Neat Hair?
    Some of the reused scenes from SING A SONG OF SIX PANTS have Shemp with neat hair, but when it's followed by new footage, Shemp's hair is suddenly messy.

  • Unexplained Crying
    At the end of the episode, the boys get the reward for Hargan's capture. Shemp says, "I'm so happy!" and begins crying. The scene cuts to where Shemp starts to blow his nose on Hargan's jacket and discovers a roll of money. However, during the cut Larry is also crying ... Why?


Stooge Routines   (6)

Stooge Trivia   (0)

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Audio Files   (0)

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Video File   (Y)


Transcript   (Y)

Transcription by Moron4392:  

The short begins by showing an outside shot of Shemp, Moe, and Larry's Dry Cleaning Business.

(Which reads on the right window pane): "Pip Boys --- Lary, Moe & Shemp Unaccusstomed Tailors Men's Furnishings New and 2nd Hand Clothes Cheep."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MOE):

(Moe is opening the curtains of the right window and straightening up a suit in the left window that reads): "Cleaning, Pressing, and Altercations."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MOE):

MOE: Jumping over the sales counter with a far shot on Larry with a tape measure around his neck and he is trying frantically to clean a spot off of a pair of pants (that happens to be a sun spot shining through a hole in the wall).

SHEMP: Measuring a pair of pants (on a set of fake legs) to be altered.

MOE: Opening the morning mail.

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LARRY):

LARRY: (Moaning and rubbing frantically at the spot on the pants trying to remove it. After rubbing the spot several times takes a drink of his soda and says): "Woo, it's hot in here."

LARRY: (After taking another drink of his soda says). "What a stubborn spot."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP):

SHEMP: (Still measuring his pants to be altered).

LARRY: (Shouts over to Shemp): "Shemp, give me a hand will ya?"

SHEMP: (In reply to Larry): "I can't now, I gotta finish my pants."

MOE: (Comes running into camera view and says): "Hey fellas, listen to this letter. (Moe begins to read the letter): "Gentlemen, (Shemp then throws in a remark, that ain't for us, we're not gentlemen, looking Moe right in the face).

MOE: (Hits Shemp in the nose and says). "Speak for yourself." (While Shemp is rubbing his nose in pain and Larry is looking over Moe's left shoulder):

MOE: (Starts to read the letter again): "Gentlemen, this is to inform you that unless over due payments for tailoring equipment are made within 24 hours we will reposes set equipment --- balance due $321.86.

Signed: Skin and Flint Finance Corporation
I. Fleecem, President.

LARRY: (With a look of dismay on his face replies after Moe has finished reading the letter). "That will put us out of business, what will we do?"

MOE: (With his right hand on his hip and the letter in his left hand and a worried look on his face looks over at Shemp):

SHEMP: (In his reply to the reading of the letter). "You guys worry about that, I'm too young to worry and get wrinkles on my pretty little face."

SHEMP: (In general conversation to both Larry and Moe): "What we need is a little music to cheer us up."

SHEMP: (Pushes back his pants on the fake legs that he is working on and Moe still holding on the letter is standing and watching Shemp). Shemp then walks over and turns on the radio.

RADIO ANNOUNCER: "News flashes, (Moe was getting ready to bonk Shemp in the face when the Radio Announcer continues): "Police are frantically scouring the town in search of 'Terry (Slippery Fingers) Hargen.' Hargen has robbed his 18th consecutive safe in 9 days --- a large reward is offered for his capture." (Both Shemp and Moe are standing by the radio listening intentively and surprised looks on their faces).

RADIO ANNOUNCER: (Gives a commercial announcement and Shemp has a look of wonderment on his face): "Does your car have indigestion? --- does it burp in the morning? --- try no Burpoline the only gasoline that contains bicarbonate of soda."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP STILL ON BOTH SHEMP AND MOE):

(Moe is standing with his hands on his hips and Shemp is bending over to turn off the radio).

SHEMP: (With his hand extended out says to Moe): "Hey Moe, why don't we capture Hargen and collect the reward then we can pay our bills."

MOE: (Crossing his arms and talking to Shemp and says): "Oh, it is simple as all that, (then Moe does a hand gesture). Hargen is gonna walk right in here and let you capture him, you're nuts --- we're gonna be paupers, paupers."

SHEMP: (In reply to Moe): "Are you kidding, we're not even married." (Moe then bonks Shemp right in the nose and gives him an eye poke).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP AND MOE):

SHEMP: (Is rubbing his sore nose while Moe says to him). "Why don't you be quiet, think..."

(Moe with one arm crossed and Shemp with his fingers on his chin are thinking).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP, MOE, AND LARRY):

MOE: (In general conversatio to both Shemp and Larry): "I cannoth think when I am hungry."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LARRY):

(Larry reaches for what he thought was his soda bottle to get a drink, but accidentally grabs the bottle of dry cleaning solution and takes a big drink of it).

MOE: (Walking passed Larry gets sprayed with the solution as Larry is wiping it off of his face).

MOE: (States to Larry). "Oh, a funny man --- what's the matter with you." (Moe then smacks Larry on the face).

LARRY: (In reply to Moe as Moe is walking to the ironing board). "What did I do?"

MOE: (In general conversation to both Shemp and Larry asks). "Who wants lunch? SHEMP: (I do). LARRY: (Replies make me some too).

MOE: (Bends over a storage box) and gets out a pitcher with pancake batter in it - then he cooks four pancakes on the ironing board.

MOE: (When the pancakes are done rubs his hands in happiness and says). "Oh, boy (with a look of delight on his face and glee in his voice). He takes the pancakes from the ironing board with a fork and slices them onto two plates with a pair of scissors and then rubs his hands once more in happiness. Moe picks up the two plates and walks over and gives one to Larry.

(CAMERA BACKGROUND SHOT THEN CLOSE-UP SHOT ON SHEMP):

SHEMP: Laughing hysterically at the funny papers.

MOE: (Walks up to Shemp and grabs him by the nose and says). "What are you stalling around for, You know you have a rush order to get out." (Shemp is rubbing his nose).

MOE: (Says to Shemp), "Get Mr. Grant's pants and hand press them."

SHEMP: (With a determined look on his face replies to Moe). "Alright, alright, but where are they?"

MOE: (Replies to Shemp). "I pinned them up on the shade, what did you do with them?"

SHEMP: (In response to Moe). "I didn't touch them, (Shemp has his hands in a fist and a mad look on his face).

MOE: "Oh, oh --- and goes over and pulls down the window shade and finds the pants still up there and very well rolled up.

MOE: (After taking the rolled up pants off of the window shade hands them over to Shemp who is bouncing the rolled up pants like a slinky). "Here, hurry up and press those pants, what are you standing around for?"

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP IN A SOLO SHOT):

(Shemp with the rolled up pants under his left arm enters the pressing room).

SHEMP: (Walking over to the hand ironing board puts the pants on it that are temporially flattened out). Shemp turns to get the iron and finds the pant have rolled back up.

SHEMP: (Trying to flatten out the pants again while he goes back for the iron only to find they have rolled back up again).

SHEMP: (With a mad look on his face, moans and grunts and then tries to straighten them out again). Shemp spins around in a circle and laughs at the pants and sticks his tongue out at them because the pants are temporially flat.

SHEMP: (By the time he has the iron in his hand and turns around to press them has noticed that the pants are rolled back up again).

SHEMP: (Being furious at the pants), forgets that he has the iron in his other hand, goes to clap his hands only to have burned his hand.

SHEMP: (Now really furious with the pants quickly blows on his burnt hand and returns to try and press the pants).

SHEMP: (Rolls out the pants), climbs up on the ironing board to keep them flat, (while he is on the ironing board he stops to take a look at his burnt hand and shakes it and moans in pain).

SHEMP: (Still on the ironing board, picks up the iron, crawls forward to start ironing, but in the process he closes himself in the cupboard and gets slammed back out and falls on the floor yelling in pain).

SHEMP: (Picks himself off of the floor and in deep pain and a hurt look on his face rubs his head with one hand and checks to see if he has a broken nose with the other hand).

SHEMP: (Picks himself off of the floor with a mad and determined look on his face, throws the ironing board up in the air and states). "You double crosser." Only to have the ironing board come crashing down and hitting him on the head.

SHEMP: (Letting out several hurtful moans), gingerly puts the ironing board in the cupboard, but forgets to clsoe the door carefully, slamming it shut to keep the ironing board in place, it bounces back and hits poor Shemp square in the nose.

SHEMP: (Dances in pain, shakes his fists and mumbles madly at the ironing board door). He goes and gets a broom and says to the ironing board as he raises the broom to hit the ironing board says, "Wise guy, this time I'll close ya," just as Shemp goes to hit the ironing board door to close it, Moe walks in and gets hit square in the puss with the broom.

SHEMP: (Walks over to Moe, and puts his hand on Moe's shoulder and says). "Moe I'm sorry Moe --- and Moe replies to Shemp as he takes the broom from Shemp's hand, "Think nothing of it," (Shemp has a happy look on his face and says to Moe). "Gee thanks," (Moe replies), "You're welcome." (Moe then hits Shemp over the head with the broom handle, and Shemp grabs his head and rubs it and groans in pain.

MOE: (Now really mad at Shemp), puts the broom handle in Shemp's mouth dragging him out of the pressing room with Shemp yelling out in pain.

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP AND LARRY IN THE ALTERATIONS ROOM):

(Larry has his back to the camera and Shemp is facing the camera).

SHEMP: (Is hemming a pair of pants and Larry is measuring a pair to be altered), Shemp then pokes Larry once in the backside and once in the stomach with his needle.

LARRY to SHEMP: (Yells out in pain and grabs Shemps arm and says). "What's the idea?"

SHEMP: (Replies to Larry): "I'm sorry, but you stepped into me."

(CAMERA IS NOW OUTSIDE OF THE SHOP):

A lady is walking down the street.

(CAMERA FAR SHOT):

On a frantic gentlemen running down the street, (which turns out to be the bank bandit, Terry Hargen). Mr. Hargen makes a mad dash into the Stooges store to hide from being chased by a Police Officer, (Officer Sharp).

TERRY HARGEN: (In panic), desides to become one of the dummies so he throws his coat on the floor, exchanges hats with one of the dummies and paints a fake mustache on his face with shoe polish, and stands perfectly still as not to be recognized.

POLICE OFFICER SHARP: (Frantic, running down the street looking for Terry Hargen), enters their business.

OFFICER SHARP: (Gets in just a few words says), "Hey, fellas, (Larry points a finger at him and shouts, pointing at the Policeman), "A customer, The Stooges run to greet him leaping over the sales counter.

POLICE OFFICE SHARP: (Manages to get in a few words), "Have you seen," (then he is grabbed by Shemp, Moe, and Larry).

LARRY, MOE, and SHEMP: LARRY: (talks first by saying), "yes don't worry about it," MOE: "you've come to the right place," SHEMP: (as he pats the officer on the shoulder), "this is the place where you dollars have more sense."

MOE to OFFICER SHARP: "Say. we have the very sports coat you are looking for." (Larry and Moe rush over to one of the dummies, which happens to be Mr. Hargen the bank bandit, and takes off the coat and rushes back to Oficer Sharp and says here try it on."

OFFICER SHARP: (In reply to Shemp). "I don't want a coat."

SHEMP to OFFICER SHARP; "But, listen mister, we are gonna give you a bargin."

SHEMP: (To Officer Sharp, folding back the lapel on the suit that he is wearing and asks him), "Where did you get this mess?"

OFFICER SHARP: (Replies to Shemp): "I bought it here." (Shemp then folds back the lapel and says to him), "Oh, what a beautiful, Messterpiece."

SHEMP: (To Officer Sharp): "Just relax, they'll only be a second."

(Meanwhile, Larry and Moe have the sports coat in their hands): MOE: (Speaks first), "Here ain't it a beauty." Then Larry says, genuine import, smell the ocean."

SHEMP: "It's 200% wool."

OFFICER SHARP: "200% wool?"

SHEMP: (To Officer Sharp): "Yes sir, these sheep led a double life." (Shemp slaps his leg and lets out several laughs), while Moe and Larry are putting the suit coat on Officer Sharp over the suit coat he is already wearing, saying, "Now just put your arm in right here."

OFFICER SHARP: (With a grimace on his face says): "I don't want a coat, I don't want a coat, (then with a bit sharper tone of voice and his fists clenched, once again shouts), "I don't want a coat."

SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: (Responding in unison): "Oh he don't wanna a coat."

LARRY: (Replies to Moe): "What he wants is a pair of our slicks slacks."

MOE: (In reply to Larry): "Why didn't you tell me the man wanted slacks?"

(Moe smacking Larry on the face and shoves him and says), "Go ahead."

OFFICER SHARP: (A bit mad says): "I don't want any slacks."

MOE: (Replies to Officer Sharp): "Now look bud, in this store the customer is always right."

SHEMP: (Off camera to Officer Sharp): "We want you to be happy." MOE: "Yeh, take it easy." SHEMP: "but it won't be a minute."

SHEMP and MOE: (In unison to Officer Sharp): "You don't have to buy anything you don't want, nothing, just what we tell ya."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LARRY):

(Larry goes to one of the dummies, which happens to be Terry Hargen, the bank bandit), removes his pants. Accidentally the dummy, (Terry Hargen) helps Larry remove the pants by lifting his foot. Larry scratches his head a looks back in surprise.

TERRY HARGEN: (The Dummy): Quickly stiffens back-up to resume his dummy position, hoping not to be noticed.

LARRY: (Scratching his head and a look of awe on his face walks away), extends the trousers to Officer Sharp, "Here you are brother, slick slacks try them on for size." Moe also states, "Oh yes, try them right on."

MOE: (Folding back the Officer's lapel), notice's his badge, huffs on it and polishes it with his shirt sleeve.

SHEMP, MOE, and LARRY: (In unison): "Gee, Officer...."

OFFICER SHARP: (Furiously yelling at them says), "Quiet, you birds realize that you just let Terry Hargen the bank bandit slip right through my hands." (Using hand gestures of madness).

OFFICER SHARP: (Looking at Shemp and poking him with his finger says), "I oughta run you in."

SHEMP: (In reply to Officer Sharp): "Please Officer, I have six wives and two kids."

MOE: (Putting his hand on the officer's shoulder and gesturing to the floor says), "Honest Officer, there was nobody who came in here."

OFFICER SHARP: (With madness in his voice says to The Stooges): "Well, he's in the neighborhood keep a sharp look out for him, I'll be back."

SHEMP, MOE, and LARRY: (In unison): Salute Officer Sharp and said, "Right." (then they clunk heads).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MOE AND LARRY):

(Larry has his back to the camera working on a pair of pants and Moe is hanging up a suit that he just pressed).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE STOOGES):

(Moe is hanging up a suit, Shemp is hemming a pair of pants and Larry is mending a pair of pants).

MOE: (Turning around) takes a pair of pants and flattens them out on the ironing board to be ironed, while Larry and Shemp are in the background altering, Moe finds the safe combination ( L-R-L-R-L-R-L 1-1-2-3-2-2-1) in the pants he is about to press.

MOE: (Opening the piece of paper says), "Hey, fellas (Shemp is scratching his head and Larry approach him), look at what I found in the pocket of these pants."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE SAFE COMBINATION):

MOE: (Reading the combination), L-R-L-R-L-R-L 1-1-2-3-2-2-1.

MOE: "Hey, L-1, R-1, this is a combination to a safe. (Shemp and Larry are looking over Moe's shoulder in wonder at the discovery that he has made).

MOE: (Returning to the suit coat that he just pressed and hung up), turns back the lapel and discovers the ititials TH.

MOE: (With a look of wonder on his face says), "TH, I wonder what that means?"

SHEMP: (In reply to Moe): "Teddy Hoosevelt."

MOE: (With sort of a mean look on his face says to Shemp): "You're wrong, quiz kid."

LARRY: (With a thinking look on his face says), "I got it, I got it, and Shemp and Moe said who, and Larry replies "Thomas Hedison."

MOE: (Using hand gestures stating that he thinks Shemp and Larry are idiots says), "Why don't you dumbbells stop, (then Moe looks into the change pocket in the suit coat and discovers that the letters "TH" stand for the bank bandit (Terry Hargen).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP, LARRY AND MOE):

MOE: (Jumps back a few steps and with a sound of excitment in his voice says), "Terry Hargen, was here, the bank bandit, and these are his clothes, and this is a safe combination, this must belong to a safe he is gonna rob."

LARRY to MOE: "We better call the cop back."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MOE):

MOE: (With a look of determination on his face says to Larry and Shemp): "Don't be heisty, Hargen might come back here after his clothes, and we nab him and collect the reward ourselves."

SHEMP: (Pointing his finger at his chest and has a bitter look on his face says to Moe). "That's what I said before, but you said to me..." (Moe then bends over and bites Shemp's index finger).

LARRY: (With a look of pain on his face as Moe bites Shemps finger).

SHEMP: (Picking up a razor blade and says to Moe). "I oughta razor blade you."

MOE to SHEMP: "Wait a minute, let me see that razor blade."

SHEMP to MOE: "Certainly."

(Moe then takes the razor blade and cuts off some of Shemp's hair).

SHEMP to MOE: (Yelling and screaming frantically and has a painful look on his face says): "No, no, don't cut Moe, don't cut."

SHEMP to MOE: (After Moe has cut off a piece of his hair and Shemp has a "crying" look on his face says to Moe): "Look what you did, now my hat won't fit me."

MOE to SHEMP: "Don't worry, I'll get it back."

(Moe then puts Shemp's piece of hair back on his head and pounds it down with his fist).

SHEMP to MOE: (Shemp is shaking his fists, yelling out in pain and has a painful look on his face says to Moe as Moe is "pounding" the piece of hair back on Shemp's head). "Oh, oh, never mind, I won't wear a hat."

(Moe then shoves Shemp and has a very mad look on his face and says). "Oh, go on you guys, (refering to Shemp and Larry).get busy, get on those pants, you two."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP AND LARRY):

(They are going to work on their pants).

(Moe says hum, as he takes the razor blade and tosses it and it lands in a hand sized whisk broom).

(Shemp is mending a pair of pants, Larry (with his back to the camera) is ironing a pair of pants, and Moe is working on a suit).

CUSTOMER: (Walks in and says): "Hiya fellas, is my coat altered?"

LARRY: (To the customer as he is picking up the coat replies). "Just finished."

CUSTOMER: (Says to Larry): "Oh, fine."

MOE: (To the customer as Moe is straightning up the coat says). "Try it on."

CUSTOMER: (To Moe says). "Looks fine."

MOE: (Noticing that there is lint on his coat turns to Shemp and says). "Hey, wait a minute, brush him off."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE BROOM WITH THE RAZOR BLADE):

SHEMP: (Picks up the broom not knowing about the razor blade in it goes to brush off the customer's coat, which Shemp has accidentally shredded to bits). Larry at the same time is measuring his sleeve and says "31 inches, how's that?"

CUSTOMER: (To Larry): "That's right, 31 inches."

SHEMP to CUSTOMER: "Who made that hat?"

CUSTOMER to SHEMP: "My mother."

SHEMP: ( to the Customer says), "I thought so, as Shemp is finishing "brushing" off his coat and Moe is straightening up the sleeves."

MOE: (To the Customer after the coat has been put on right says), "There you are, you are all set."

CUSTOMER: (As he is exiting the store replies). "Well, see ya on payday."

(Shemp notices the razor blade in the broom and hides it behind his back).

(Shemp, Larry, and Moe all shake with fear as they notice the customers coat when he is leaving the store).

MOE: (To Shemp as Moe hits him and has a mad look on his face says to Shemp). "What's the matter, wrecking that mans coat."

SHEMP: (Says to Moe). "He had a loose baste."

MOE: (Mad at Shemp is getting ready to hit Shemp who is hiding behind Terry Hargen's suit says to Shemp). "I'll loose baste you."

MOE: (As he goes to hit Shemp through Terry Hargen's coat says). "Why you."

(Moe is folding back Terry Hargen's coat collar and Shemp is peaking up at Moe from behind the suit coat and Moe has a surprised look on his face when he finds some money in Terry Hargen's coat lapel).

MOE: (With a very happy look on his face says as he unwads the money). "Moolah."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP, LARRY AND MOE):

MOE: (Says to Shemp with a happy look on his face and points to the coat). "Hey fellas, I just found $50 bucks in that coat."

LARRY: (Says to Moe as he points to the other clothes). "Maybe ther's money in the other clothes, let's search."

MOE: (Says to Shemp and Larry). "Go ahead."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LARRY):

(Larry is at the ironing board searching a pair of pants pocket for more money, smacks himself in the face and he then rubs his face in pain).

MOE: (Hands on his hips and a look of determination on his face and the $50.00 in his right hand).

SHEMP: (Standing by Moe puts his hand through a pant leg and takes the $50.00 from Moe's hand), "Yells, hey look, I have found another $50.00.

MOE: (Taking hold of a large pair of scissors and "cutting" of Shemp's nose says to Shemp), "Yeah, so you did, wise guy."

(Moe still "cutting" of Shemp's nose and Shemp is yelling in pain is approached by Larry).

LARRY to MOE: (Gingerly hits Moe on the arm and says), "Hey, hey, leave him alone. (Shemp is rubbing his sore nose).

MOE: (With a begrunttled look on his face grunts to Shemp), "Ah, why you."

CUSTOMER: (With the shredded coat walks up to the sales counter and says). "Hiya fellas, my wife is crazy about the way you fixed this coat, ah, she wants you to make me a pair of pants to match."

(Shemp, Larry and Moe are standing behind the sales counter, they jump back a bit in astonishment and Moe with a perplexed look on his face says to the customer). "Sure, sure, we'll have them for you tomorrow."

(Customer is off camera and leaving the store shouts back). "Thanks, so long."

(Moe to the customer as he waves a finger). "So, long."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP AND LARRY):

SHEMP: (Says to Larry laughing and gently hitting Larry on the arm says). "That guy's mother must of raised him on shredded wheat."

LARRY: (Replies to Shemp as he is bending over to get a pair of pants and Shemp is watching him says). "Come on, let's shred the pants."

(Larry then puts a pair of pants up on the sales counter, and both Shemp and Larry pick up their razor blades, as they start to shred the pants, Larry says to Shemp). "Watch your stroke."

(Then Larry and Shemp with their razor blades in their hands picks up their pant leg by the cuff, and Larry says to Shemp). "Here we go, one, two." (as they shred the pants).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MOE):

(He is standing with a perpexed look on his face and his hands on a suit coat that is hanging up and thinking).

(Shemp says to Larry off camera as they are shredding the pants). "I'm glad he only wants on pair of pants with that belt."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MOE WITH A LOOK OF THINKING OF HIS FACE):

(Moe is walking over to Shemp and Larry as Shemp is holding the shredded pants in his hands).

MOE: (In general conversation to both Shemp and Larry). "Say, I was thining about Hargen, that bank bandit, you know it's just possible that he's still hiding somewhere in this store, we've gotta search every nook and cranny."

(As Moe was talking, Larry and Shemp had looks of wonder on their faces).

SHEMP to MOE: (Laughing). "I once had a granny that searched every nook and cranny."

(Moe is laughing also as Larry is standing behind Moe with a hurt look on his face as Moe says to Shemp). "I did too, you know what she found?"

SHEMP: (With a sound of glee in his voice says to Moe). "What?'

MOE: (Says to Shemp, this and then he gives Shemp an eye poke).

(Shemp is now rubbing his eyes in pain).

MOE to LARRY: "Porcupine, you search the front of the store thoroughly."

LARRY to MOE: (As he gives Moe a salute), "Aih, aih, captain."

(Larry as he is saluting Moe gives him a good, hard hit on the head).

(Moe then turns around to hit Larry who escapes, ends up hitting Shemp hard on his head causing Shemp to fall forward and hitting his nose hard on the sales counter).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MOE):

(Moe is pointing a finger at Shemp and says to Shemp). "Mongoose, you and I are gonna search the back room."

SHEMP: (Crossing his arms and is now mad at Moe from all of his shannigans that Moe has pulled on him says to Moe). "I'm not taking any more orders from you, you warthog."

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe has a mad look on his face, then he hits Shemp in the stomach, and then he pulls Shemp to the back of the store by his cheek says). "I don't blame ya."

(Moe is now dragging Shemp through the back storage room door still by the cheek).

(Terry Hargen was hiding in the side storage area, when he has discovered the coast was clear, came out to the main area of the store, with his face lowered as not to be noticed as he takes his suit and exits through a side door going backwards watching out not to get noticed).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP AND MOE IN THE BACK STORAGE AREA):

(Moe and Shemp are in the back storage area).

MOE to SHEMP: "Look around."

(Shemp bends over with his arms raised and is wiggling his mouth marches around to look on the left side of a wooden storage crate, as Moe goes to check on the right side).

(Moe then walks up behind Shemp and taps him on the shoulder).

(Shemp then turns around with a mad and determined sounding voice, grabs Moe by the neck, thinking it was Mr. Hargen says as he shoves Moe up against a storage shelf). "I got you, you bank bandit, I got you, I'll crush your skull, I'll crush your skull."

(Shemp is then smashing Moe's head hard against the storage shelf, thinking is was Mr. Hargen).

SHEMP to MOE: (After Shemp realizes he was hitting Moe's head and not the bandit's, has a look of sorry on his face and an appologetic sounding voice says to Moe). "I'm sorry Moe, I thought you were the bandit."

(Moe to Shemp with a sound of mischief in his voice says). "Ah, forget it kid."

(Moe is now straightening up his vest and has a mad look on his face and Shemp has a happy sounding voice starts to leave and says to Moe). "Oh, gee thanks."

(Moe then notices a clawhammer on the storage shelf and picks it up and says to Shemp). "Pardon me, do your knuckles hurt?"

(Shemp raising his knuckle to Moe says). "Nooooooo."

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe raises up the clawhammer says they will, then Moe hits Shemp hard on the knuckles).

(Shemp is yelling loudly in pain while Moe is taking the claw part of the hammer and rips Shemp right in the nose).

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp is yelling in pain and points to his nose says to Moe). "What does that look like, a nail?"

(Moe then says to Shemp). "Shush."

(Then Shemp and Moe hears a door open).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LARRY):

(Larry then enters a side storage room and creeps over to a curtain and pulls it back and goes in looking for Mr. Hargen).

(Larry is in behind the curtain).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP AND MOE):

SHEMP to MOE: (With a scared look on his face says to Moe); "That must be the bandit."

MOE to SHEMP: "Yeh."

(Moe then notices a nail and says to Shemp). "You grab him, I'll nail his feet to the ground, we'll send for the cops, and collect the reward."

(Shemp then salutes Moe and Moe salutes Shemp back and they say to each other). "Viva!!!!!"

(Then Shemp and Moe kiss each other on the cheeks, and when they have noticed what they did, they spit on the ground).

(With Larry still behind the curtain, and Shemp thinking that it is the bandit, grabs him, and Larry is mumbling in pain, as Moe is nailing his foot to the floor).

(Moe is still nailing the foot of whom Moe thinks is the bandit, Shemp is grabbing him and saying). "We got you now, you won't get away."

(Moe is nailing the bandits, (OOPS, Larry's foot to the floor, Larry is now yelling in pain and waving his arms, throws back the curtain and throws it over Shemp, and yells to Moe). "Hey, you stupid Stooge, what's the idea, you are trying to shoe me like a horse."

(Shemp throws the curtain off of himself and Moe says to Larry as he pulls the nail from Larry's shoe). "Sorry kid, we thought you were the bandit, don't worry I'll get it out."

(Larry is now grabbing hold of Shemp, and has a look of pain on his face and is yelling loudly in pain as Moe is pulling the nail from his foot says). "Ah, my toe, ah, ah, ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ooh, ooh, hey, you're killin' me."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MOE):

(Moe is finishing removing the nail from Larry's foot, hits himself with the butt of the hammer real hard in the chin, and loosens his "teeth", as Moe spits them to the floor, with a dazed and bewildered look on is face falls flat on his face).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE STOOGES):

(Moe is pressing a pair of pants, Shemp and Larry are at the front sales counter where Shemp is yelling to Larry different dry cleaning jobs).

SHEMP to LARRY: "Green suit dry clean."

LARRY to SHEMP: "Dry clean, dry clean."

SHEMP to LARRY: "Gold band, repair the pockets."

LARRY to SHEMP: "Gold band, repair pockets?"

(Moe is silently standing there completing his pressing chores).

(Terry Hargen and his two Henchmen walk in wearing fake beards approach The Stooges).

(Shemp notices them first, and jumps back scared as Moe and Larry comes next to Shemp also scared).

SHEMP to TERRY HARGEN: (With a scared sound in his voice), "Yes, what can we do for you, sir?"

TERRY HARGEN and HIS HENCHMEN: "We would like to have our suits cleaned and pressed while we wait."

(Shemp, Moe, and Larry quickly approaches them saying) "Why certainly, yes sir that is what we'll do."

SHEMP: (Turning back Mr. Hargen's suit coat notices the initials "TH" and says while he puts his hand up to his mouth). "Oh, oh."

SHEMP: (After noticing the letters and with a look of determination on his face, grabs a hold of Mr. Hargen's beard and pulls it down to expose Mr. Hargen's face).

SHEMP: (With a scared look on his face and his arms raised shouts). "EEB - EEB - EEB."

TERRY HARGEN: (Removing his hat and fake beard and places them on the sales counter says to Shemp). "Alright bub, where is that piece of paper that was in my pants pocket?"

SHEMP to TERRY HARGEN: (With excitement in his voice). "You mean the one with the numbers on it and the letters L-R-L-R-L-R-L."

TERRY HARGEN to SHEMP: "That's it, that's it, yes, yes where is it?"

SHEMP to TERRY HARGEN: (With a sheepish look on his face says). "I never saw it."

TERRY HARGEN: (Grabbing Shemp by the suit). "Oh, a wise guy."

(Terry then turns to his henchmen and says). "Okay fellas, make 'em talk, get 'em."

(Larry turns to run away while one of the henchmen balls up his fists and starts after Larry).

MOE: (Then says to the henchmen). "Now, take it easy."

(The other henchman, with Moe looking at him removes his hat and beard and places them on the sales counter and charges after Moe).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP):

(Shemp quickly puts on Mr. Hargen's beard).

TERRY HARGEN: (Grabbing Shemp's suit, says). "Where's that guy that was here?"

SHEMP: (Still wearing the beard points his thumb over his right shoulder and says in a low, quiet voice). "He went that away."

TERRY HARGEN: (Rolling up his suit sleeves starts to walk and says). "I'll get him, I'll get him."

SHEMP: (Still wearing the beard, crouches down and slowly starts to walk away).

TERRY HARGEN: (Realizing it was Shemp under the beard), turns around with a mad look on his face and kicks Shemp hard in the backside.

SHEMP: (Turning around and yells in pain). "Ooh."

TERRY HARGEN: (Grabs the beard and pulls it down to notice that it was Shemp, he grabs Shemp by the shoulders and says). "Why you...?

SHEMP: (With Mr. Hargen still holding on to him, is being bounced backwards and says to Mr. Hargen). "Cut it out will ya?"

LARRY: (Running from one of the henchman). Turns around and backs himself up to a support pole and gives a good swift kick in the stomach of what Larry thought was one of the henchmen, but it turns out to be Shemp.

SHEMP: (Clutching his stomach). Groans out in pain.

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON MOE AND ONE OF THE HENCHMEN):

HENCHMAN to MOE: (Has his hands on his hips and gruff sound in his voice says to Moe). "Come across with the paper."

MOE to HENCHMEN: (Moe puts his hand in his pocket and says). "Oh, the paper."

HENCHMAN to MOE: "Yes, the paper."

MOE to HENCHMAN: (Moe pulls his hand out of his pocket which now is a fist and says to the henchman). "Why didn't you say so, there it is."

(Moe then hits the henchman in the head with his fist and kicks him in the backside).

HENCHMAN: (bent over), yells out loudly and lands on the ironing board head down and Moe decides to iron his head.

MOE: (Still ironing the henchman, who is yelling 'Ouch, ouch, ouch, and twitching in pain).

MOE: (Yells over to Larry). "Hey, Larry, I got him."

LARRY: (Aftering getting up from the floor and tying up one of the suspects, runs over to help Moe).

(The henchman still being ironed is screaming out loudly in pain 'Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, oooh, oooh, oooh).

LARRY to MOE: (The henchman still getting ironed by Moe, Larry says to Moe). "Nice work, Moe."

LARRY: (Picks up a portable iron and tests to see if it is hot and says to Moe). "We might as well press his pants."

(Larry then burns four iron marks on the henchman's backside while Moe is still pressing his head).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON THE HENCHMAN):

(The henchman is yelling in pain as Moe and Larry are "ironing" him).

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP AND TERRY HARGEN):

TERRY HARGEN: (Takes hold of Shemp and backs him up to a support pole and says to Shemp). "Where is that paper?"

SHEMP to TERRY HARGEN: "I tell ya, I haven't got it."

TERRY HARGEN: (Smacks Shemp in the kisser and picks up Shemp who has a hurtful look on his face, and hangs him on a revolving clothes rack saying). "You'll talk, you'll talk now."

SHEMP: (Hanging from the clothes rack, with Terry Hargen yelling at him shut up starts to say to Mr. Hargen, as Hargen hits Shemp). "Hey, I haven't got it."

TERRY HARGEN: (Determined to get the paper, says to Shemp who is still hanging from the clothes rack), "Where is that piece of paper?"

SHEMP: (Still on the clothes rack). "I haven't got it."

TERRY HARGEN to SHEMP: (With Shemp still on the clothes rack smacks Shemp in the face with his fists. Shemp is screaming frantically and is sent spinning around and Mr. Hargen says). "Still won't talk."

SHEMP: (Spinning around on the clothes rack yelling in pain 'Ow, ow, ow, ow, smacks Mr. Hargen square in the face and says to him). "Oh, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, honest, I didn't mean it, honest I didn't mean it."

TERRY HARGEN: (Grabs Shemp by the throat and smacks him in the face and sends Shemp spinning again and yelling in pain and says to poor Shemp). "Oh, still won't talk."

SHEMP: (Still on the clothes rack, spins around and hits Terry Hargen square in the face and throws him into a stoarge vault).

TERRY HARGEN: (Rubbing his smacked cheek, yells, 'Oooh.'

MOE and LARRY: (Are still giving the henchman a good ironing job and then stands him up, where the henchman wabbles in dizziness and pain, and lets our a puff of smoke as he is trying to get his balance back).

MOE: (With a board in his hand, walks up to the henchman that Larry is holding up by the arm, places the board on the henchman's head, and parts his hair and says as he smacks the henchman on the head). "Oh, his head is steaming."

HENCHMAN: (With a look of dazement on his face, is stumbling around and gasps for breath and then falls flat on the floor face down).

MOE to LARRY: (Extends his hand and they shake hands and say in unison). "Success, sucess."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP AND TERRY HARGEN):

SHEMP: (Still on the clothes rack, screaming in pain and scardness on one of his spins kicks Terry Hargen square in the face sending Mr. Hargen, flat down on the floor).

SHEMP: (Still on the clothes rack yells out). "Hey, Moe, Moe, Larry get me off of here, Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh."

(Larry and Moe run over and they reach up and help Shemp down).

(After Larry and Moe got Shemp down Moe asks Shemp). "How do you feel, kid?"

SHEMP to MOE: (A bit dazed and dizzy). "Oh, I am all right."

(Terry Hargen is lying on the floor knocked out flat with Shemp, Larry, and Moe looking at him in happiness).

MOE: (With a look of glee claps his hands and says). "We got him, we got Hargen."

OFFICER SHARP: (Runs into the store and says). "What's that,? it's Hargen all right, nice work boys."

SHEMP, LARRY and MOE: (Are happy and excited). MOE: (says). "We're in the gip." LARRY: (says). "In the moolah." and Shemp is just standing there looking totally happy.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: "Now, we can pay Skin and Flint."

OFFICER SHARP: (Turns around and responds to Moe). "Oh, a couple of more."

OFFICER SHARP to LARRY: (Says, hold him while I phone for the wagon).

(Larry is standing there holding a knocked out, handcuffed, slouching Terry Hargen).

MOE to OFFICER SHARP: (With a look of happiness on his face and glee in his voice says). "Okay, sure."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON SHEMP AND MOE):

MOE to SHEMP: (With a look of happiness on his face and a happy note in his voice says to Shemp). "As soon as we collect the reward, we'll be all set."

(CAMERA CLOSE-UP ON LARRY AND SHEMP).

(Larry is still holding Mr. Hargen).

(Shemp is crying and wailing loudly saying). "I'm so happy, uh, uh, uh, I'm so happy." (goes for his handkerchief and doesn't find it so he reaches over to use the lapel on Terry Hargen's suit coat).

SHEMP: (As he goes to blow his bugle on Terry Hargen's lapel finds some money and Shemp cheers up and says). "Oh, green stuff."

MOE: (Is standing by Shemp with a look of wonderment on his face).

(Shemp is just starting to count it when he is hidden by Moe when Officer Sharp walks in and says). "I'll take him, thanks again boys."

SHEMP, LARRY and MOE: (In unison): "Oh, thank-you."

Larry is standing by Shemp's side rubbing his hands in glee.

MOE to SHEMP: (In surprise and a bit scared says to Shemp). "Hurry up and count it, we got to split it."

Larry is dancing in glee.

SHEMP to MOE: "Wait a minute, wait a minute, 100 - 200 - 300 - 400 - 500 - 50, how did that get in here and Shemp wads up the $50.00 and throws in on the floor.

MOE: (Sort of waves the $50.00 good-bye).

THE SHORT ENDS:

Shemp, Larry and Moe are diving onto the floor retrieving the wadded up $50.00 bill.


Videography   (1)

Fan Reviews   (8)
Re: RIP, SEW, AND STITCH
Posted 2001-11-01 10:32:00 by Shemp_Diesel
Edited 2015-01-15 17:25:21 by Shemp_Diesel

Very light on new footage--one of the Shemp recycles that makes you wonder why Jules White even bothered to make it. I admit, some of that new footage was funny--Shemp with the razorblade--but if you've seen the original (which ain't hard to come by) then why bother with Rip, Sew and Stitch?

4 pokes


Reviewer's Rating: (4)
Re: RIP, SEW, AND STITCH
Posted 2001-05-30 23:00:00 by Stooge
Edited 2008-06-16 05:42:41 by Stooge
A weak remake of SING A SONG OF SIX PANTS. They reused way too much footage from the original short, and the real new footage doesn't even come into about 6 minutes into the short. The new footage isn't really anything special either. I also hate it when remakes have the same ending as the original.
I did get an unintentional laugh, though, out of the new scene where Terry Hargen comes back in the store to steal his pants. It's funny because they use a double for Harold Brauer in that scene and it's so obvious that's not him because of the pathetic way the double tries to hide his face, I couldn't help but laugh!

Reviewer's Rating: (2)
Re: RIP, SEW, AND STITCH
Posted 2007-11-30 08:48:06 by Legalize Shemp
I always found this to be one of the weakest remakes, just like Hot Ice and Bubble Trouble, but I do like the original so I'm givin this one two pokes. Happy Holidays to everyone!
Re: RIP, SEW, AND STITCH
Posted 2003-01-31 03:02:00 by ScooterB
I was disappointed that the scenes with Virginia Hunter were cut out. She was one of the better Three Stooges' supporting actresses. I, also, could have done without the guy, who is supposed to be Hargen (but, is obviously not Harold Brauer) sneaking back into the Stooges' tailor shop to get his coat. Still, this remake does provide some laughs. One of the funnier new scenes is the one where Moe slices off a hunk of Shemp's hair with a razor blade and Shemp responds: "Look what you did! Now, my hat won't fit me!" Some of the old footage from SING that's left in helps prevent this remake from being a bomb, especially the fight scene, in which one of Hargen's henchmen has his head pressed in the steam press by Moe and his butt scorched with a hot iron by Larry. That goon REALLY got it. Any way, I give this remake a generous 3 Pokes, mainly because SING A SONG OF SIX PANTS is one of my favorites.

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Re: RIP, SEW, AND STITCH
Posted 2002-01-07 13:50:00 by [Deleted Member]
Some good gags in the new footage, but the boy's perform them flatly. I don't blame them, as their morale must have been pretty low at this point. Curly was gone, television wouldn't accept them at this point, and Columbia wouldn't let them go and forced them to make no-budget two-reelers that the public weren't even going to see anymore. Still this one does have Shemp in it, and it's more entertaining than those Bessers. But I still prefer the original. Darn, I can't think of a signature!

Reviewer's Rating: (4)
Re: RIP, SEW, AND STITCH
Posted 2001-11-24 20:25:00 by jaronson
I watched this short today with my mother, and even she mostly knew which footage was old and which footage was new, even she is not a major stooges fan. I didn't like it because the new footage is quite scarce, and it starts about 8 minutes into the short. A new ending would have been better.Grade: C

Reviewer's Rating: (6)
Re: RIP, SEW, AND STITCH
Posted 2001-03-02 22:16:00 by sickdrjoe
Weeks ago, I made a comment (that drew a lot of flak) about how many of the later Shemps were tired and substandard. From around here till the end of the run, I don't see how you could argue the point (sure, there were one or two exceptions; there always are, but it still doesn't contradict my claim). I guess it might've sounded like I was cracking on SHEMP, which was never my intention. The slashed budgets/2-day shoots/over-reliance on stock footage & retread ideas isn't even something I can slam Columbia for (and I've bashed Cohn & Co pretty good on these pages). It's a 50s thing; the emergence of tv spelled the death of many forms of entertainment: radio, vaudeville, newspaper comics...and the short subject. Yeah, it was a SLOW death, but death by a thousand cuts is still dead. Instead of converting the Stooges to feature films in the early 50s to keep the act fresh and viable, everybody involved tried to do what they could after the prevailing economic conditions had already painted em into a corner. The trend in movies at the time was to make them bigger and more lavish than ever, to lure folks away from their TV sets: there was just no way to convince exhibitors that an aging comedy team, running on fumes and shoestring budgets, were worth the booking fees. And as for the boys, well, everybody knows they HAD to keep working, no matter how diminished the returns - these poor guys had been ripped off for 20 years and couldn't afford to call it a day. I'm sure they were embarrassed by many of these later 2-reelers, and my heart goes out to them. But that doesn't mean these stock-footage/remakes are any good; they're not. To pretend they are is not the litmus test of being a loyal fan, it's putting blinders on. RIP SEW & STITCH isn't the worst of them by any stretch, but from here on, they got steadily worse. I personally think, if they jumped into full-length features at this point (instead of the DeRita era, when Moe & Larry were in their late 60s)we'd have had a handful of CLASSICS to look back on, instead of these hodgepodge remakes, the postmortem Shemps and the godawful Besser death-rattle shorts. Plus the boys would've been paid in real money for a change. As it stands, however, the Stooges were victims of the changing times and the coming of television. It has next to nothing to do with the boys, Jules being cheap, Felix Adler running out of gas, etc. If anything, they fell on their swords like comedy warriors anddeserve full honors for that. The last five years will never tarnish the memory of the first 20.
Re: RIP, SEW, AND STITCH
Posted 2001-01-05 14:01:00 by Uncle Mortimer
The thing that I don't undersatnd about AMC and what they 'choose' to play and what not to play(if that IS what happens.. who knows), is the fact that they air "Sing A Song Of Six Pants" and "Rip, Sew and Stitch"(the original AND the remake) as opposed to playing a different and superior short like "Scrambled Brains" or "Dopey Dicks". That's stupid programming! And not fair to us fans!..(WE'RE DYIN' OVA HERE!!) Ya know, come to think of it, those BIRDBRAINS are playing "Dunked In the Deep" AND "Commotion In The Ocean" too!...Dirty Rats! By the way, I don't agree with the comment below, that the original(Sing a Song Of Six Pants) was a bad short. I think it was a good and memorable one.

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